Life
by NovelistServant
Summary: "See you next summer!" Well now it's the next summer and instead of finding an old journal, Dipper finds an old friend, who knows a thing or two about Gravity Falls, ancient medical practices, and a certain triangle. (I don't own the cover image I just thought it looked cool)
1. Qeb Melkb Krjybo

_June 21st_

 _If you've ever taken a road-trip through the Pacific Northwest, then you've probably seen a bumper-sticker for a place called Gravity Falls. It's not on any maps, and most people have never heard of it. Some people think it's a myth.  
But if you're curious, don't wait.  
Take a trip. Find it. It's out there somewhere in the woods… waiting.  
A brilliant man once kept a journal of his great findings and knowledge of Gravity Falls, and even though I've added on, now that he's back, I've decided to keep my own journals.  
I know there's still a lot more to learn about this weird unmapped town, and I'm not planning on missing out. So as I return again for a second trial-run, I hereby record my findings as_

"DIPEEEEEEEEER!"

The young teenager jumped and used his new adrillilan to hide his journal. His twin sister opened the door and just missed his scurrying and found the young explorer in the middle of the room, just standing and gave a smile and a wave in greeting.

"Grunkle Stan made lazangua!" Mabel yelled with stars in her eyes, hardly noticing or caring that Dipper looked nervous. "It's like cake, but with noodles, meat, sauce and EXTRA CHEESE! Come on!"

"Coming!" Dipper replied, following the hyper thirteen-year-old out of their attic bedroom, leaving his journal hidden under his mattress.

* * *

Stanford rapidly tried to drot down a few quick thoughts on gnomes and how their weakness was still unknown, but when you're writing with your non-dominant hand and have your journal against your knees, it makes it very difficult to write anything legible down.

"Would you please let go!" Stanford yelled in frustration as he pulled his right arm loose, only to have it be pulled back into her strong hold. "This is the fifth trenchcoat I've had to throw out this year! They're not cheap, you know."

The young woman rolled her eyes and let a puff of air escape from her lips. She observed the hole in the sleeve more closely. "C'mon, it's not that bad. Just a few stitches shy of bein' good as new. I'm more concerned about your arm."

All while fighting a head-strong Pines, she carefully took the right half of the coat off, letting it dangle off of his left shoulder, and slowly rolled up the sleeve of his shirt. A scratch seeping blood was unmasked, and so Stanford's friend clapped her hands together, almost like in prayer, and then touched the injury with one hand. When she removed her palm, the wound was gone and the arm was healed.

But Stanford hardly glanced up and muttered, "Thanks." He didn't sound like he meant it.

The woman was furious and smacked him upside the head.

After a quick yell of a mixture of pain and anger, Stanford finally lowered his pen and looked at his friend full in the face. "Look, I'm trying to…"

"Discover the mysteries of Gravity Falls, yeah, yeah, yeah." She snapped back. "N' I'm tryin' to help a friend! A little appreciation would be nice every once n' awhile, ya know."

Stanford's anger dwindled and he started to realize that he usually did take her for granted. She did help him find the gnomes' hideout and just saved his life from a giant angry monster who was mad that they had lost their queen. Perhaps he did usually forget to say...

"Thank you." He said sincerely.

Her anger also died and she smiled; she may be a tough woman, but she wasn't unreasonable. "Anytime."

She sat against the tree Stanford had occupied and leaned on his shoulder to look at the drawing of the gnome in his journal. A bit of color rose in Stanford's face, but no one (not even Stanford) noticed. "No weaknesses, huh?" She asked, then sat up and shrugged. "Simple: ya kick 'em out of your way." She answered as she punched her hand.

Stanford smiled and asked, "And what if they form into a giant monster?"

"Run away n' scream like two girls!" She laughed.

That was enough to make Stanford close his journal. "What? There's no need for plurals." He joked.

"Right, it was only ya. M'bad."

Stanford opened his mouth to argue playfully when their shared tree was yanked out of the ground by a giant gnome made up of hundreds of little gnomes. Stanford's argument was defeated when he gave a small squeal of fear that only a ten-year-old girl should make.

"Finally! Our queen!" The top gnome yelled with delight at seeing the girl with dreadlocks.

Stanford snapped and stood up, pointing a finger at the top guy, and yelled, "She's already taken, buster!" A moment too late to save him from embarrassment, Stanford realized what he said and his face turned beet red.

Catching on and shaking off her shock, the stubborn young lady stepped forward and put her hands on her hips. "Listen here, Short-Stack." She yelled in a voice scary enough to make anyone freeze. "This queen's already got a king! I ain't goin' nowhere n' there ain't nobody in this world who can tell ME what to do! So move your tiny pointed-hats outta my face before I use 'em to play darts!"

Enjoying insulting the tiny bearded-men, Stanford put a six-fingered hand on one of his friend's shoulders and yelled at the gnomes, "What do ya want, a kiss on the cheek?! Get out of here!"

Crying and wailing a horrid sound that had the young adults cover their ears, all the gnomes in their formation ran off with their heart broken. The woman couldn't help herself and laughed wildly, and it proved to be contagious as Stanford started from a struggling chuckle into laughter so painful he had to fold his ribs.

While she tried to calm herself down, Stanford opened his journal to the pages discussing gnomes and saw he had just enough space for their weakness. Heartbreak? Teamwork? Still unsure, he decided to leave it blank.

* * *

While traveling along the seven seas, finally looking for adventure and maybe even some treasure if lucky, there were things about Gravity Falls Stanley Pines missed, even if he would never admit to it.

For instance, he had missed being dry. And he also found he had missed earning money instead of spending it. He also missed bossing people around, something his brother did not permit on the second Stan O' War, so when Grunkle Stan came across Waddles eating a cardboard box that he had spilled all over the gift shop, he grumpily ordered Dipper to clean it and for Mabel to take care of the pig.

Once the gift shop was empty, Dipper got on his hands and knees and got to work. The box was too wet and torn apart to reuse, so he took to collecting all of the trash before the next tour group. Most of the things from the box seemed to be old receipts and bills, dates going back to the late 70s.

The teenager was intrigued; no one ever gave a date of when… er, when the incident happened, but Dipper did the math and guessed it was in the early 80s. He read the clippings and receipts just in case it led him to discover something new. One showed a purchase for a large pizza, another was a coupon for orange juice, and so on and so on. While it looked like most of it was trash, one small piece of paper caught his eye.

It looked like it had been ripped from a page or something, taking the shape of a corner. In blue ink, it gave a name in cursive and a phone number. The name read "Hephzibah Cece".

Emerging from behind the vending machine, Grunkle Ford coughed into his fist as smoke poured into the shack.

"Grunkle Ford, did you overdo it with the whole fire-instead-of-shaving thing again?" Dipper asked.

"Not exactly." Ford huffed and took a moment to check his reflection in the vending machine's glass. "Though it did leave a nice clean shave." He added, deciding that there was no great loss without some gain.

"Hey, did you know someone named Hephzibah Cece?" Dipper asked, rereading the phone number.

"What?!" Ford asked in panic and turned to face his great-nephew.

"Hephzibah Cece." Dipper replied, a little bit more cautiously than before. "I found her old phone number and… hey!"

Grunkle Ford quickly snatched the phone number and ran for the vending machine. "Sorry, Dipper! Just continue… Dipper-ing!" He hastily typed in the code for the underground study, completely forgetting that he could use his watch to open the hidden door, and ran down the stairs before Dipper could question him any further.

Mable had just decided to see what kind of damage her beloved pig had caused in time to witness one of her uncles scurry away at the sight of a piece of paper. "What was that all about?"

"I found some old phone number and..."

"WAIT!" Mabel yelled and grabbed her brother by the shoulders, a huge smile over her braces-free teeth. "You found a phone number and Grunkle Ford just panicked and ran? Dipper, do you know what this MEANS?!"

"That you're dislocating my shoulders?" Dipper guessed, wincing at his sister's strong grip.

"FORD HAS A GIRLFRIEND!" Mabel yelled as she let go of her brother and dance happily, but Dipper quickly shushed her and tried to calm her down, especially before Ford heard her.

"Mabel, he doesn't have a girlfriend." He whispered. "It could have belonged to anyone! A friend from college, business-related, she may even had studied a field he... "

"HA!" Mabel yelled and pointed at her brother excitedly. "She! That's proof! GRUNKLE FORD…"

"Shh!" Dipper covered Mabel's mouth with one hand and used the other to drag her out of the gift shop, through the house, and up to their attic-bedroom. Dipper locked the door and covered their window before turning to his twin and further discussing who the phone number belonged to. "Look, just because she knew Ford, that doesn't mean they were together." Dipper said, slightly annoyed by Mabel's need to instantly pair any male and female together. "They could have been just friends, like me and Wendy."

"Dip-Dip, you still have a crush on her!" Mabel accused.

"No, I don't." He said plainly. No blushing, no jerky eye-movements, but Mabel still wasn't sold.

"Well, who's phone number was it?" Mabel asked.

"Her name was Hephzibah Cece." Dipper answered. "I don't remember her phone number, though."

"Let's asked Toby Determined!" Mabel suggested. "I bet he knows who she is! He knows all the gossip!"

"We could also ask McGucket."

"Nah, he's away at Bluegrass Con. in Montana, bro-bro." Mabel reminded him.

"Oh, right." Dipper said and grabbed his journal and threw it in his backpack; the book was white with a blue pine-tree on the cover. "Well, let's ask Toby and see if we can get any leads."

"FOR TRUE LOVE!" Mabel yelled with a fist in the air.

"FOR DISCOVERY!" Dipper yelled to try to remember Mabel that not everything in the world revolves around love or romance, but she was relentless and did not catch the clue, and so they both ran off for the town's gossiper.


	2. Sdvw dqg Suhvhqw

The store, as usual, appeared to be empty, but it was not quiet. Stanford let himself in and was greeted with a bell, and soon found his friend giving a young boy with a baseball cap some piano lessons on one of the many pianos that crowded the room.

One of Hephzibah's many hidden talents - apart from dueling and healing injuries with a clap of her hands - was her music. Not only could she play nearly anything on the piano, she had an amazing voice and patience for teaching. So much potential, and yet it was being wasted on helping her grandparents run the debted store and giving music lessons.

Once Hephzibah heard the bell and saw who the visitor was, she checked the clock over the front counter and saw that the lesson was almost over. The boy had finished his try at Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and she praised him for his song. "Great job! You're gettin' better n' better at Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, Tyler."

The boy's smile dropped and he said, "But I was playin' The Alphabet Song."

Not quite in the mood to break it to him that the tune he played was extremely simple and common, Hephzibah started to lead the boy to his mother and explained, "I thought so! See! Your music was so good I was able to hear multiple songs at once! Ya got some talent! Have a great week n' I'll see ya on Thursday!"

"Bye!"

"Go on, go on, go on." The mother said to his boy, anxious to go outside, and the mother waved goodbye and the two were gone, leaving Stanford alone with Hephzibah.

She wiped her forehead dry of sweat and said, "Good to see ya, Fordsie. What brings ya in?"

Stanford pulled out Journal #2 and opened it to a sketch of a bridge right through Gravity Falls, where the cliff had such a huge crack it was a miracle it was even holding up, giving purpose to Stanford's name for it, "Floating Cliff".

He showed it to Hephzibah and said, "I found this on a hike this morning. Do you know anything about it?"

Hephzibah observed the sketch and smiled. "Yeah. Farmers use the cliffs, says it's good ground for growin' crops. Wanna take a closer look?"

"I was hoping you'd ask." Stanford replied and opened the door for the lady, pocketing his beloved book.

"HEPHZIBAH!"

Stanford nearly jumped out of his trenchcoat and had to hold his heart to try to calm down and lower his blood-pressure.

"HEPHZIBAH! THERE'S A MAN-EATIN' BIRD IN THE LIVIN' ROOM!"

"Grandma, that's just the ceilin' fan." Hephzibah called back, holding her head and closing her eyes to try to keep her cool.

"I'M GONNA KILL IT WITH A SHOVEL!"

"No, not the shovel!" Hephzibah panicked and ran for the back of the store, where Ford assumed the house was.

A few sounds that suggested something breaking, a shovel, and an angry man for some odd reason, all made Stanford cringe. Hephzibah soon emerged with a bent shovel and her dreadlocks had fallen from her standard high-ponytail. She walked with Ford to the door, got her sword and scabbard from the coat-rack, and once outside, Hephzibah threw the broken shovel into a bush.

"Good thang it's the end of summer. I can't afford to get a new fan right now." She muttered and put on her belt. She then smiled at her friend. "C'mon, it's just down here."

As Stanford followed Hephzibah down the road, she began to pull her dreadlocks back up into her favored ponytail. Her hair was truly very long, dark, and beautiful.

Sheepishly, Stanford asked, "How is your grandmother doing?"

"She's okay, I guess." Hephzibah said with a shrug. "Grandma tried to kill the 'giant metal cockroach' this mornin' so now I need a new toaster, n'… I'm not so sure how much longer she'll have the energy to do that." She went on, walking slower and her head hanging lower.

Hephzibah never said much about her grandparents, or any family for that matter, but neither did Stanford, so it never bothered him. All he knew was that she had moved in with her grandparents after college to settle back down in Gravity Falls; and that her grandfather nearly tried to kill Stanford when they first met and the grandmother tried to force-feed the poor young man cookies.

Stanford put a six-fingered hand on her shoulder. "Hey, I could… uh, build you a new one."

"Thanks, but I really couldn't care less about the toaster." Hephzibah said with a small smile that tried to assure Stanford that she was okay. "All I care about right now is helpin' ya explore that valley."

Understanding her need to escape, Stanford nodded and they picked up their pace towards the end of the road where they would be led to a valley.

* * *

"Hephzibah Cece?!" Toby gasped and leaned over his desk, his big mouth hanging so low it covered most of his body.

"So you _do_ know her." Dipper assumed with a smile and started to reach in his backpack for a pencil and small notepad.

"I know everybody!" Toby reminded the twins.

"Told you." Mabel muttered to her brother.

"She's the owner of that piano store downtown, Pianos for People." Toby started to explain as he left the desk for some filing cabinets.

A close look at it would tell that it seemed nearly everyone that had some sort of gossip was on file, including Dipper and Mabel. Toby flicked to the front of the top drawer (A-F) and found her under "Cece".

"She got the place about thirty years ago, and rumor has it it's not doing so hot." The gossiper went back to the desk and laid out some articles he had written about how Mr. Cece had finally passed and left the deed to the piano store with Hephzibah and a few times she happened to be on sight of a serious car-crash or injury. "She's also been known to be right there whenever someone's hurt and help them. Technically she's a doctor, but she never got hired."

"How come?" Mabel asked as she looked at a photo of Hephzibah, looking as if she was trying to push the camera away.

"No one knows." Toby said in a spooky voice as he wiggled his fingers. "I've heard some people say it's because she's into witchcraft! I've also heard she gave up on her dream to be a doctor to take over Pianos for People. Could be both."

Dipper looked at the articles and tried to keep in mind that this is Toby Determined they were talking to, the town's gossiper. True, his poor "news" paper was getting more popular, but it was almost like the online articles from The Garlic; no one really believed anything on it and only read it for a laugh, but Toby took it very seriously. So when one article claimed that Miss. Cece had been suspiciously close to a car-crash on the highway or supposively practiced witchcraft in her store after closing hours, Dipper didn't really worry too much.

Still, Gravity Falls was full of the supernatural and super-weird; witches and wizards was not a far stretch in Dipper's opinion. There were other articles, all of which seemed to be relatively old. One of the older ones read of how she had been arrested and another told of how she saved a Saint Bernard dog and nursed it back to health. It seemed like the newest article was from three years ago.

"Right, thanks, Toby." Dipper said and started to head for the door, his sister following his lead.

Once outside, Mabel started theorizing on Miss. Cece and Grunkle Ford's relations towards each other. "This is so exciting! Just imagine: a magical doctor falling in love with a super-genius, together using their knowledge to make Gravity Falls a better place and unlocking it's mysteries! So romantic!"

"Mabel, just because they knew each other doesn't mean that they were in love." Dipper said with a roll of his eyes. "Something about this witchcraft thing… doesn't feel right."

"What, you think she might be a Slytherin?" Mabel guessed with a suspicious look on her face. "Not all Slytherins are bad, Dipper."

"What? No." Dipper clarified with a raised eyebrow. "I mean, I know it came from Toby, but what did he mean by 'witchcraft', and why did Miss. Cece always happen to be at these accidents?"

"Well, let's ask her!" Mabel said and pointed to the piano store that was tucked away on the turn of the main street.

"Alright, just let me do all the talking," Dipper said. "She may not be willing to answer our questions."

"Gotcha." Mabel said with a wink and snapped fingers and the twins hurried across the street for Pianos for People.

When Dipper opened the door a bell greeted them. The room was crowded with all sorts of pianos. Some were bigger and fancier, some were old, some were smaller, and some were just keyboards. At the very back of the store was a desk, right next to a door that led to the back, and there stood Hephzibah Cece.

She had dark skin and long, black hair, which had been made into dreadlocks and then pulled up into a high-ponytail with a scrunchie and a black bandanna. She wore blue jeans, black heels, and a white button-up shirt. Her wrists were decorated with gold bracelets and one watch, and she wore giant hoop earrings. Miss. Cece looked loud, intimidating, and someone who has seen and heard a lot in her day. Heavy bags under her eyes were the only signs of her age, and despite the grim look on her face when counting her register, when she saw the twins she smiled from ear-to-ear and dropped everything.

"Well, hi there! Welcome to Pianos for People!" She said pleasantly and leaned over her desk. "What can I do for y'all?"

"Can I play with the pianos?!" Mabel quickly asked.

Dipper slapped his forehead, but Miss. Cece only smiled. "Well, what else are they for?"

Mabel smiled and started browsing the pianos, carefully playing a note here and there to be graced with the beautiful sounds.

Dipper was too focused on finding out more about this woman to care too much about playing an instrument. "Hi, my name is Dipper." He introduced and pulled out a notepad and pen from his backpack. "Do you mind if I ask you a couple of questions about Gravity Falls?"

"Depends, you workin' for Toby?" Miss. Cece asked as she raised an eyebrow, but the smile on her lips stayed the same.

"No," Dipper answered with a smile. "Just a curious interviewer."

"Shoot then, sweetheart."

"How long have you lived in Gravity Falls, Miss. Cece?" Dipper asked, pen nearly touching the paper.

"Basically my whole life. I was raised by my grandparents here; this is my home."

"I guess you know a lot about the going-ons about Gravity Falls, then?" Dipper asked as he dropped down a note.

Miss. Cece shrugged and straightened up. "I'm not much in the loop anymore, kid, but I know my way around."

While exploring the shop, Mabel had been listening, but frowned at how Dipper seemed to be walking on broken eggshells around the woman. _"_ _Come on, Dipper! I know I said I'd let you do the interview, but this is just sad!"_

"How well would you say you know the people of Gravity Falls?"

"Pretty well."

"Oh, for the love of…!" Mabel yelled and ran back to the desk. She slammed a fist down and asked, "Did you or did you not know a man named Stanford Pines?!"

"MABEL!"

Hephzibah stared for a moment, not sure how to answer. She looked down at her hands and her cheerful attitude was gone. Dipper followed her line of vision and saw that Miss. Cece had a tattoo on the back of each hand. They were both in perfect circles and were decorated with symbols and letters in some unknown language. His initial thought went back to the zodiac that was supposed to destroy Bill Cipher, but he tried not to think about that, for each thought on the matter got darker and darker. Miss. Cece answered Mabel's question and it broke him free of his train-of-thought.

"No, I don't think I did." She mumbled under her breath, just barely legible.

"Wait," Mabel said as Hephzibah looked back up at the young teenagers. "What do you mean?"

Miss. Cece surprisingly gave a sly smile and held up her left hand. "Hold up, sweetie. I've answered enough questions, now it's your turn. How do y'all know Stanford Pines?"

"He's our great-uncle." Dipper admitted. "We found your name in a box of old stuff, and…"

Miss. Cece chuckled and nodded her head. "I see. Well, unless ya need music lessons, I can't help ya, kids."

"Why not?"

"Cuz I said so." Miss. Cece said firmly. There was something in the tone of her voice or the coldness in her eyes. Though her smile stayed the same, though it was still warm, the twins knew better than to press forward with the interview.

"Okay, okay, we get it." Dipper said and packed his pen and notepad away. "Sorry to bother you, Miss. Cece."

"Hey, it's just Hephzie, sweetie. I ain't that old." She said jokingly and walked around the desk to guide the kids out the door. "N' it's nice to have people actually in my store; y'all come back anytime ya want, ya hear?"

Dipper and Mabel both smiled. Ignoring the fact that she was still a borderline stranger, the twins found that they really liked this old woman and would love to see her again. They nodded and Mabel said, "Sure thing, Hephzie!"

"Thanks for talking to us!" Dipper followed and they both left the store.

Once the twins were out, Hephzie sighed and turned for the back of the store. Crossing a little foyer that held shoes and coats, she walked into her small living room and patted the head of a large Saint Bernard who was asleep on an old couch. He yawned and watched his human pick up an old picture frame from a bookshelf. Next to a photo of Hephzie's grandparents and of her college graduation, an old photo of a wedding was in a beautiful white frame.

Fiddleford was dressed in a handsome black tux with an army-green tie and boutonniere. His new wife wore a beautiful white gown, her hair decorated with green ferns and tiny white roses. They were both standing in a gazebo, arms locked, surrounded by friends and family. On one side stood the bride's parents and older sister. On the other side, Ford stood behind Hephzie and had a six-fingered hand on her shoulder, both grinning from ear-to-ear from pure joy over their friends. The best man wore a suit with a green undershirt and cream-colored tie. Hephzie wore a floral army-green dress, it's sleeves over-sized and her dreadlocks held up in a ponytail by a single white rose that stood out in her black hair.

Hephzie sat on the couch next to her precious dog and daydreamed as she looked at the photo, remembering the wonderful day. It took place just a few years before the Ford-Boys started to work together on their big project. Even before Fiddleford moved his family to Gravity Falls, they had remained close friends, even paying a visit when his son was born. Hephzie could still remember how happy they all were.

 _"_ _Look at him! He looks just like his momma!"_

 _"I think he looks a lot like ya, Ole Fiddle."_

 _"I think he looks like a human baby."_

 _"Regardless, he's perfect! Congratulations, Madeline!"_

Hephzie smiled at remembering all of the dinner they had together. When able to tear the boys away from their work, Fiddleford's wife would cook a delicious meal and the rest of the night would be spent telling jokes and stories, laughing and simply enjoying being a part of something bigger than themselves.

The memories now were a bit painful, but Hephzie would never allow herself to forget; those were the best years of her life. She will never understand why her friend decided to let them go.


	3. 4-9-14-14-5-18-4-1-20-5

Mabel and Dipper walked through the woods of Gravity Falls alone, the dirt road just visible enough to guide them home. While newcomers found the woods creepy and locals found them welcoming, the young Pines twins found them to be a perfect mixture of both. The Mystery Shack coming into view as the sun set, they continued to discuss their views on the matter.

"She seems really nice!" Mabel went on. "I just don't see how she and Grunkle Ford aren't perfect for each other!"

"Mabel, we hardly even know her!" Dipper said, holding his head as Ms. Matchmaker was at it again. "Think about it. Let's say they were friends, okay? Suddenly Grunkle Ford goes missing for thirty years, and then some kids come and ask questions about it. No wonder she didn't want to talk about it."

"The poor old woman!" Mabel gasped, her eyes round and huge, and her hands on her cheeks. "She must be heartbroken to have been left alone for so many years."

"She's probably got other friends or a family, sis." Dipper said, rolling his eyes. "I just wanna know why Grunkle Ford looked so nervous when I found her phone number. And what were those tattoos on her hands?"

"Tattoos?"

"They were on the back of her hands. They were circle and looked kinda like zodiac signs."

Mabel shrugged. "Maybe she thought they looked cool."

"But didn't Toby say something about witchcraft?" Dipper reminded her sister. "What if… what if those symbols were for some sort of spell or curse?"

They didn't have time to speculate further as they entered the Shack and headed for the kitchen. They could hear their uncles bickering playfully at the table.

"I'll never understand you're hatred for pineapple, Stanley, it tastes just fine!"

"And I'll never get how you can eat that stuff!" Stan yelled as he gagged while pointing to the inside of his mouth.

"What are you talking about, Grunkle Stan?!" Mabel gasped and stood next to her Grunkle Ford, taking his side on this debate. "Pineapple is amazing! At least I don't add ranch." Mabel added, slightly disgusted.

"Thank you, sweetheart!" Ford praised and ruffled Mabel's hair playfully.

"You leave ranch out of this!" Dipper teased. "It's amazing on pizza!"

"I've never tried it." Ford admitted, not being the most adventurous when it comes to his food. Monsters and unknown worlds, sure, but abnormal ingredients and combinations he was hesitant on, a fancy way of saying that he was a picky eater.

"Lucky." Stan grunted and grabbed the phone. "Fine, one small pineapple…"

"Medium!" Ford and Mabel argued.

"... one medium pineapple n' ham, and one medium meat-lovers." Stan grumbled as he dialed. "Anything else?"

"How about breadsticks?" Dipper suggested.

"You paying, kid?" Grunkle Stan asked with a wink.

While Stan walked off to order in peace, Dipper sat down at the table and started to write in his own little journal. Ford watched his great-nephew with a small smile, reminded of a younger version of himself. Not too much like him, however; he wasn't isolated and alone like Ford was as a child. Dipper was an outgoing young man with lots of friends to call his own. He was also very careful to include his family - especially his sister - in his activities. Of course he liked his alone-time and had a secret or two, but Ford was glad to see that his earlier attempts to turn the boy into Ford 2.0 had failed.

Ford had many regrets in his life: abandoning his family, pushing loved ones away, being tricked and conned into nearly destroying the world, failing to rely or trust the people he cared about, and he was thankful that ruining Dipper's life wasn't on the list. His intentions were good when he invited Dipper to be his apprentice, but he now saw just how devastating it would have been if Dipper had stayed in Gravity Falls.

"Grunkle Ford," Mabel said, waiting until the scientist looked at her until she asked her question. "Do you think I could play the piano?"

Ford was floored by the question, but he quickly hid it under a smile and replied with, "I think you would be excellent, Mabel. I took a few lessons myself once."

Mabel's eyes widened as they shined like stars. "You did?!"

"Let's just say that I have an upperhand with that particular instrument." Ford said in a cool tone as he held up a hand and wiggled his fingers, showing off the birth defect that seemed to benefit him one way or another.

Mabel giggled. "Upperhand."

"When did you ever play piano?" Dipper asked, peering up from his journal.

"Oh, a little after college." Ford said with a shrug, trying to ignore the buzzing going on in his head. "It's been a very long time since I've played, but I'd be happy to give you some lessons, Mabel." He offered to his favorite niece in the whole world.

"Yeah! That'd be great!"

A few minutes later Stan had to go pick up dinner and Mabel was only too happy to tag along with him, leaving Dipper and Ford alone in the dining room. Dipper was absorbed in his work, and Ford entertained himself by looking out the window and watching the sunlight disappear.

It doesn't take twelve PhDs to know that the kids had done some investigating on Ford's old friend. Much like his ordeal with Fiddleford, he was ashamed of how he had treated her. While Fiddleford was a very forgiving soul and had no problem patching things up, Ford was uncertain if Hephzie would do the same. She had tried to be there for him. When he was in a dark place, she had tried to help him, but he had pushed her away, like Fiddleford, like Stan, like nearly everyone else who had ever cared about him. Ford with never fully understand how his family could be so forgiving of his sins, or how Fiddleford still wanted to know him. He knew he didn't deserve such grace and mercy, and he definitely didn't deserve it from Hephzie.

Ford was very careful to not peer at his nephew's work; sure, the boy may have read Journal #3 religiously, but Ford had to agree that when a book has so many interesting facts and theories, it's hard to look away. He found himself in a similar situation when he saw Dipper draw two circles with various symbols drawn inside. His heart skipped a beat. Dipper was like Ford and had a pretty good memory; when Ford saw those zodiacs, he was taken back to his old friend and the amazing tattoos that she had engraved into her hands. If anyone would understand him, Dipper would. He knew he should probably talk with him about it, but how to approach it…

"Grunkle Ford," Dipper said, doing his uncle's job for him as he held up his finished drawing of Hephzie's tattoos. "Have you ever seen these symbols?"

A lifetime of lies and secrets told the old man that nothing good ever came out of it. Though Ford was tempted, he decided to speak honestly; he had once said "no more secrets", and he intended to stick to that promise. "Yes, I have actually." Ford said as he took the journal to have a closer look at it.

"What are they?" Dipper asked, a tad surprised that his uncle was being so open, but did not question it. "Some kind of zodiac?"

"Not exactly. They're transmutation-circles."

At the beginning of last summer, Dipper had studied many different symbols and codes in order to help him decipher the journal he had found in the woods, including Greek, Caesar cipher, Egyptian Hieroglyphics, and alchemist symbols. Though he didn't know a lot about alchemy - except that it was a study before modern chemical breakthroughs used to turn metal into gold - he knew what a transmutation circle was. "What, you mean like alchemy?" Dipper asked.

"Yes," Ford answered and looked closer at the symbols. "And from the looks of it, you found transmutation-circles for medical purposes."

"Medical?" Dipper asked. "These are used for healing injuries and curing diseases or something?"

"Something like that." Ford answered, handing Dipper's journal over.

"So that's what Toby meant by witchcraft..." The boy muttered to himself.

Grunkle Ford signed and Dipper studied the genius in front of him carefully. There it was again! That guilty look on his face that seemed to bear the whole world. "It's not witchcraft, Dipper." Ford said firmly as he looked down at his six fingers that drummed on the table steadily. "It can be used for destruction, but she has found a way to help people and benefit mankind with such power."

"She?" Dipper repeated with a raised brow, not sure if Ford let it slip or if it was an accident.

"There's no point in denying it, boy." Ford said plainly as he looked back up. "I know you visited Cece today, that's how you found the transmutation-circles."

Dipper nodded, unwilling to try to cover this up. It was only fair that they were both honest. "Mabel wanted to find her. She… she seems really cool. Is she an old friend of yours, Grunkle Ford?"

Again, Ford's eyes reverted back to his hands as they twitched and drummed on the table. "She was my best friend, right after Fiddleford."

 _"_ _Will you follow me?"_

 _"I'll follow ya into Hell if ya ask me."_

"I met her just shortly after moving to Gravity Falls." Ford went on, ignoring the memory. "She had grown up here and so she became my personal tour-guide, showing me secrets she had discovered and helping me uncover this town's anomalies. She's actually the one that helped me discover the gnomes, the unicorns, and even the flying saucer at Crash Site Omega."

"She did?!" Dipper gasped, surprised just how influential this woman really was. "But what happened?"

Ford was very uncomfortable with the subject now. He could still hear her voice as he was working with a new friend, one whom she did not trust.

 _"_ _Stanford, when was the last time ya slept?"_

 _"There's no time for that!"_

 _"Whoa, easy! You'll break somethang, just sit down!"_

 _"The chair's…"_

 _"I don't care about the chair, Dumb-Dumb, I care about you!"_

Fate was on Ford's side for the time being, as Stan and Mabel waltzed in carrying dinner, which filled the room with such a delicious aroma that none of the explorers cared about alchemy much anymore.

"PIZZA!" Mabel cried out as she put a box down and opened it to reveal a medium ham-and-pineapple pizza. She happily grabbed a slice and the pizza was so hot that the cheese strung immensely far and burned the roof of her mouth. She coughed and gagged, all the while trying to swallow a bit of her dinner. "Ow! It was worth it!" She choked as Grunkle Stan passed around cans of soda.

"Easy, pumpkin." Stan laughed as he took a slice of meat-lovers, blew on it, and took a bite, but he must not have blown hard enough or was simply just as impatient as Mabel, for he too burned his mouth and had to cough and swallow his bite down with a cold drink.

Dipper and Ford allowed themselves to laugh at their twins and quickly exchanged a look that said that the conversation was over and that they were okay with that.

* * *

Later that night, lying on the couch in his room, Ford was slowly falling asleep with an old memory pierced into his mind. He usually tried to clear his head before bed, prone to have nightmares or simply odd dreams that made him question his sanity, but his attempts were futile, and before he knew it, he had fallen asleep as his mind played a memory for a dream.

 _It was snowing early that year. Usually Gravity Falls was covered in a fluffy white blanket by Christmas, but this year it happened before Thanksgiving. His boots protected his feet from the bitter old and crushed the snow beneath him with a pleasant sound. Once at his destination, he knocked on the back door and only had to wait a second for Hephzibah to answer._

 _She had slipped into a red blouse for the occasion. She had kept her blue-jeans and black boots, and her dreadlocks were up in her favorite ponytail, but held back with a red bandanna. Her ears had simple golden loops through her lobes and her wrists held matching bracelets. She smiled and slipped on a black coat before quickly sneaking out the door and closing it behind her._

 _"Ready?"_

 _"Yup! Ya hungry?"_

 _"Always." Stanford teased and led the way down the street for town._

 _Stanford had been so nervous about this day that he calculated every move he made and how it could affect the night. When he had asked Hephzibah out for dinner, slowly but surely, she had this look on her face like she had been waiting for him to ask, and she didn't hesitate for a second on saying "yes". Now it was finally here and Stanford was more than nervous._

 _He cared about her - a lot actually - but he knew that if things didn't work out, their friendship could die. But Hephzibah had sent some strong messages that made her loyalty to Stanford very clear, and he wanted, at the VERY least, to repay her for all she's done by doing something other than examine eyeballs or fight off goblins with her._

 _And so the two walked through town, each in their own thoughts. While it was unknown what Hephzibah was thinking, Stanford was questioning what to do next. He never dated in high-school and had been too busy in college. Wait, was this his first date?! Didn't he go to the movies with that one girl in the fourth grade? Did that count?_

 _Stanford was a gentleman and traditionally old-school, and he knew the proper thing to do was to hold Hephzibah's hand. He looked down at the one closest to him (Hephzibah was walking by his left side, so it was her right hand) and hesitated in grabbing it. Would she even want to hold hands with him? Letting out a nervous breath, Stanford went for it and gently grabbed her hand, their palms faced down. It was soft and warm, and he held his breath, waiting for Hephzibah's reaction._

 _Her first thought was how cold Stanford's hand was. He must be freezing! She glanced over to nag him about his attire and for not dressing warm enough, but he seemed fine. He wore his favorite trench-coat and sweater-vest with a baby-blue shirt, but he had included a red scarf and matching hat to keep his neck and ears warm. Stanford didn't look cold or seemed to shiver. Hephzibah then remembered something her grandmother said about her grandfather's hands._

"Cold hands, warm heart."

 _Hephzibah then noticed how Stanford was looking down and away from her. He could have played this off as enjoying the scenery, but he wasn't even trying. She wasn't stupid; she knew what Stanford was afraid of. To help warm his hand, and also to show him how she felt, Hephzibah moved her hold with Stanford so instead of performing the down-facing-palm hold, their fingers were now interlocked. With Stanford's extra finger, Hephzibah found that her whole hand was well in his grasp and smile at the thought of her slightly-smaller hand warming his._

 _She stole a glimpse at her date and found his cheeks had turned red, and not from the cold. Hephzibah could hardly hold a chuckle and used her free hand to hold Stanford's arm so they walked even closer to each other now. She was hardly a head shorter than him and fitted perfectly along his arm._

 _Stanford's whole face was red now. No one had ever held his hand like this before, let alone embraced him with such devotion and love. Hephzibah wasn't heartless, but she wasn't like most girls where she was touchy-feely. Stanford guessed that this was one of the many reasons he was attracted to her. He didn't need to be soft with her or protect her or entertain her like it seemed most men did with their counterparts. Hephzibah could take care of herself and was incredibly independent._

 _Stanford's shocked expression melted into a smile and he used his free hand to cover the one on his arm. They continued to walk arm-in-arm down the street until they reach Greasy's Diner. Not exactly five-stars, but Stanford had asked prior where Hephzibah wanted to go, and so the genius opened the door for the alchemist and they walked in to find the whole diner packed full to avoid the winter winds._

 _The Ma and Pa of Dusk-2-Dawn were sitting in a booth and sharing a cherry pie. The big red-headed man Stanford had hired to build his house was wolfing down pancakes like an animal. Travelers, tourists and truck-drivers passing by town took up the bar. Gesturing to a booth by the back, Stanford allowed Hephzibah to sit down first and he sat across from her, her back to the front door so he could keep an eye on it._

 _It didn't take long for a sweet woman about their age with purple-brown hair to take their drink orders: a cup of coffee for the gentleman and a hot tea for the lady. Once they got their drinks, Stanford glanced down at the menu to try to pinpoint something that wouldn't give him food-poisoning._

 _"What do you recommend?" Stanford asked, glancing up to look at his date and seeing that she wasn't even looking at the menu._

 _"My favorite's the broccoli n' cheddar soup." Hephzibah answered as she played with her tea bag, dipping it in and out of her mug. "You'd like their pancakes, though. Very popular."_

 _Stanford looked over the menu again and decided that the pancakes were probably a good place to start. How hard is it to mess up pancakes? He put down the menu and started to add sugar to his coffee._

 _Hephzibah noticed Stanford's choice of a highly caffeinated drink and asked, "Any plans after this, Fordsie?"_

 _"I'm still trying to figure out what to do about my hypothesis." He answered as he mixed his coffee. "I might have a long night ahead of me."_

 _"The one about the Unified Weirdness idea?" Hephzibah asked and got her answer with a nod of Stanford's head. "I could probably give ya a hand. Grant it, I know I don't have twelve PhDs, but I know the ins n' outs of this town."_

 _"It's not just about Gravity Falls anymore." Stanford explained and looked up at the dark-skinned woman in front of him. "It's about why this place is the way it is. It's about why this backwoods town has more anomalies than anywhere else. I know there is a reason, I just need to prove it."_

 _"Yeah, but how?"_

 _Stanford sighed and took a careful sip of his coffee. He sat it down and looked down into his drink. "I don't know." He admitted._

 _Hephzibah smiled and placed her hand over one of Stanford's, her bracelets jingling against the wooden table. "You'll figure it out, just don't kill yourself tryin', 'k?"_

 _Stanford laughed and gave his friend's hand a gentle squeeze in thanks. "I'll try."_

 _Susan came back and grabbed a pencil from behind her ear. "Ready, love-birds?"_

 _Stanford blushed and let go of Hephzibah's hand to get the menu while she laughed and said, "I'll just have the pancake platter with a side of eggs n' bacon."_

 _Stanford passed Susan his menu and said, "I'll have the same, please, but sausage instead of bacon."_

 _With a smug look on her face that spelled out disaster, she winked at Susan and added, "Just make it a double to split."_

 _Susan returned the wink and ignored Stanford's red face. The man could not stop copying the ketchup bottle for some odd reason. "Want whipped cream with those pancakes?"_

 _Stanford smiled and tried to cease his nerves by joking. "What are we, animals? Of course we want whipped cream."_

 _Hephzibah laughed and sipped her tea as Susan laughed, too, and promised to have their order out hot and fresh._

 _Stanford gave Hephzibah a sly smile as she looked at him over her mug. "Since when do you share anything?"_

 _"I'll share anythang for that look on your face!" Hephzibah laughed as she sat her tea down._

 _Stanford laughed as well and rubbed the back of his neck nervously. As he did and Hephzibah mixed in some sugar into her tea, he couldn't help but notice some odd looks from another couple a few tables away. Sitting by the entrance was an elderly couple whom Ford did not recognized. The woman was deadly skinny and had so many wrinkles it was hard to tell how she was holding herself together. The bald old man wore a suit and had a strict look on his face that uncomfortably reminded Stanford of his father. While the old man had turned to look at the laughing couple and the wife looked forward, both wore scowls of complete and utter hatred._

 _The polydactyl scientist was not alien to those kind of looks, but it did not make it hurt less. He looked away and toyed with his coffee to give him something to do. Hephzibah noticed the change in Stanford's attitude and turned around to see what was bothering him. It didn't take long to see the old couple's dirty looks and she recognized who they were instantly._

 _Hephzibah sighed and Stanford looked up at her, regretting his shift in behavior. When she stood up, her hands planted on the table and her face fixed from showing too much rage, his heart picked up in fear of what the alchemist was going to do. Was she going to leave? Was she going to yell or threaten to punch someone?_

 _But no. Instead, Hephzibah sat next to Stanford and grabbed his hand again, intertwining their fingers once more. They laid their held hands on the table proudly and Hephzibah used her free hand to pull down a bottom eye-lid and matched it with a poked-out tongue, aiming her look at the old couple._

 _Her touch had eased his anxiety. Her hand made his heart flutter. And her face made him laugh. Playing along, he decided to pull his infamous move and showcased his two middle fingers to the scowling couple; he wasn't quite flipping them off, but they got the message._

 _Hephzibah covered her mouth with her free hand to try to muffle her laughs, but it was no use. Her cackle of pure joy and pride rang through the whole diner. Her laughter proved to be contagious, as Stanford started from a light chuckle to having to lean on Hephzibah for support as breathing became a struggle. Normally Stanford would have been concerned about embarrassing himself or causing a scene, but he really couldn't care less at the moment. And to be perfectly frank, no one in the diner cared, either._

Ford was annoyingly awoken by the sun as it shone in his eyes. He blinked a couple of times and then slipped on his glasses to read the clock. His alarm would ring in about twenty minutes. He ran a six-fingered hand through his bed-head and tried to remember the dream as vividly as possible. It did not fade away, but stuck with him. He could see and hear everything so clearly, like it had happened last night. He could hear her laugh and see a smug look on her face.

Though he would never admit it or say it outloud, he missed it. He missed her.


	4. Ozmw Drgslfg Hdrmv

"And here's the world's creepiest goop! Guaranteed to give anybody nightmares!" Mr. Mystery introduced, showing off a jar of some of Mabel's "special galactic jelly" that really only made a guy cough up sparkles for a week.

Ever since Stan and Ford returned from their big trip last spring, the position of Mr. Mystery has been shared between the original and Soos. Soos loved the Mystery Shack and his job, but he loved the people who occupied it more; he and Abuelita had no problem moving back to their own house and sharing the shack with the old twins. The identity of Mr. Mystery usually depended on if Stan was too lazy or if Soos was too busy with repairs; today Soos wore the eye-patch.

The crowd of gullible tourists clicked their cameras at the sickly blue and purple goop and then moved on outside to learn all about the Bottomless Pit and the rock that looks like a face. Ford walked into the empty gift shop and was followed by a stubborn niece who was like a hyperactive puppy.

"But you promised!" Mabel whined.

"It is difficult to teach you how to play an instrument without one, sweetheart." Ford tried to explain for the hundredth time.

"Well, y'know," Mabel cooed, her round cheeks growing as her lips curled up into a huge smile. "There's this cute little store in town full of pianos we could use…"

Ford paused in the middle of the room and peered around without moving to ensure that they were alone. He then turned to the girl and said plainly, "Mabel, I know what you're doing and you need to stop. I'm not going to go see Cece."

"Why not?" Mabel begged, who had given up on trying to hide her true intentions. "Grunkle Ford, why don't you just go visit and say 'hi'?"

"Because I should have done that years ago!" Ford snapped in a low voice that was desperately trying not to shout.

Mabel knew that her great-uncle had been trapped in an alternate dimension (most likely several) for thirty years, but she often let it bypass her what that really meant. He had suddenly disappeared without a trace, with only his brother as his witness, and said brother never told anyone what happened. That meant that friendships would have been severed, relations with family nearly died entirely, and emotional and physical scars had been born.

Their time together before had been brief in the past, but this summer Grunkle Ford and Mabel had grown closer, making up for lost time. She was kind, compassionate, loving, and warm, someone Ford found he depended on every single day. He was strong, determined, knowledgeable, and just as loving as Mabel in her opinion, just differently is all. Unfortunately they both had a knack for blaming themselves too harshly.

So when Mabel could hear the guilt dripping from her uncle's voice and see the regret in his eyes, she put on a brave face and grabbed one of Ford's hands, pulling him away from the vending machine where he had tried to retreat to. Gently, she made Ford go into the living room and let go of him to point to the old armchair.

"Sit." Mabel said darker than normal.

Perhaps it was her sudden authority, or maybe Ford found he simply couldn't say "no" to his niece; either way, he sat down in the armchair without question and waited for Mabel's next set of instructions. She then climbed into his lap and curled up to his chest, an action a bit immature for a thirteen-year-old, but when did maturity ever mattered to Mabel? Her face nuzzled into his soft sweater and her arms embracing him in a warm hug, Ford could feel all of his worries melt away, like wax under a fire.

"Talk." Mabel ordered with just as much umph as last time she spoke, though she did not look at him; she did this to make it easier for her uncle to talk, free of prying eyes.

Ford closed his eyes and put a protective hand over Mabel's back. "When I first moved here, I didn't know anyone. I was too focused on my investigations of Gravity Falls to really make any friends, but I needed help in my explorations. I needed someone to point me in the right direction and tell me what was considered 'unusual', even for this town. And that's when I ran into her on one of my adventures." Ford said, recalling the very night he had run into a woman and was utterly embarrassed for knocking her into the dirt. "I was following an old trail on the same night Cece happened to be on it. We got to know each other and I learned that she knew a thing or two about this town, but there was still so much to explore, so we made a deal. Every so often I'd pay her a visit and she'd help me uncover a secret. It was actually Cece that helped me find the gnomes' hiding place in the woods. She was there with me when we discovered the spaceship, and she was even smart enough to find the undead's weakness."

"Wow, she helped you do all that?" Mabel asked, imagining all the fun adventures the two of them must have had. She knew what it was like to go on adventures with Soos and Wendy; she knew that must have been what her great-uncle felt long ago.

"She did." Ford said with a smile, remembering his old friend. "She became my best friend. Her grandparents invited me over for Thanksgiving and Christmas every year. Well, her grandmother did, anyways; her grandfather didn't like me very much."

Mabel giggled as her imagination cooked up a big tall, strong man being extremely overprotective over his granddaughter and not liking the fact that Hephzibah hung out with a man so much. "So, what happened between you two?" Mabel asked gently.

"Well, after so many years of investigating, I had come to the conclusion that all of the anomalies had to have come from some alternate universe." Ford went on, and Mabel's tiny smile turned into a frown, guessing where this story was heading. "Cece was a brilliant doctor and explorer, but she had little to no knowledge of technology and inter-dimensional travel, so that's when I invited McGucket to Gravity Falls and started to work with him on the portal. After that my time with Cece decreased immensely and our friendship suffered because of it. She visited us almost every day, but soon her grandparents' health got worse and she had to watch them constantly. Around the same time, Fiddleford saw what was really on the other side of the portal. I had successfully pushed everyone away, and now I have to suffer the consequences." Ford concluded.

Mabel waited a moment in case there was more. When her great-uncle remained silent, she tried to think of what to say. Though he never spoke with her the way he did with Dipper about his history, she knew all about Ford's toxic friendship with Bill and how he was tricked into building the portal. Mabel knew that Ford had not been the greatest friend to Fiddleford, and from the sounds of it, he wasn't much better to Hephzie. Mabel knew Ford should try to make things right with her, but he was hesitant, possibly even scared. Hephzie might not be as forgiving as Old Man McGucket, and there was also the possibility that Ford and Hephzie were more than friends, but Mabel decided to pick her battles wisely and not press that question onto her uncle just yet.

"But, Grunkle Ford," Mabel said and gave him a small squeeze around the waist. "Why don't you just talk to her about what happened? I'm sure she'll forgive you."

"I'm not so sure she will, sweetie." Ford answered, petting her soft brown hair. "You don't know Cece like I do; she's a tough, stubborn woman who does not forget easily. If she saw me, she'd probably slug me in the face." He added with a chuckle to try to lighten the mood. He can still remember all the times he got smacked upside the head for saying or doing something stupid.

"Maybe," Mabel agreed. "But that doesn't mean she doesn't want to see you."

"She probably hates me." Ford muttered, mostly to himself.

"I don't think so." The brunette said flatly and moved her position so they were chest-to-chest and she looked at Ford with that same determined, serious look on her face that she pulled when something truly important was going on. "I think she misses you, and I think you miss her."

Ford blinked at her niece's boldness. He had no idea where it came from; must be from her mother's side of the family, because there was no way it came from a Pines' man.

"I also think you're afraid that she won't forgive you, but I know that she will! Maybe not right away, but if McGucket can forgive you, so can Hephzie." Mabel declared with a soft smile and laid back down, her head turned so her cheek rested over Ford's heart.

He allowed these words to sink in. Before the portal, she had displayed her loyalty time and time again through their years together. One adventure had pierced Ford's mind and he often thought about it.

They were just about to enter a dangerous underground-mine when Ford looked at Hephzie and asked her a question, one he had a habit of asking his great-nephew.

 _"_ _Will you follow me?"_

 _She gave Stanford a scowl, and the light from their lantern didn't help make Hephzibah look less scary. Despite only going up to his chin, she managed to make Stanford feel incredibly smaller as she glared up at him and was incredibly close to him. "I'll follow ya into Hell if ya ask me."_

Her voice had been extremely cut-and-dried. There was no familiar sarcasm, no jokes, no chuckles or giggles to lighten the mood, but there was also no anger. She was willing to lay down all she had for her friend, not out of something as cliche as love or compassion, but out of loyalty.

Hephzie had displayed such loyalty to Fiddleford and Madeline when they first had their son and she'd often watched him to help out. She had once walked five hours to get a special Christmas present for Madeline. She was loyal to her family and had given up everything to help her grandparents. She was loyal to her home and never went anywhere else, and even loyal to complete strangers as she was willing to risk her life to save creatures big and small.

Ford had been to dozens of dimensions over the years. He had met so many different people and seen and done so much, but he never did find such loyalty anywhere else than within Hephzie. "I suppose you're right, Mabel." Ford said, thinking about the likelihood that Hephzie would forgive him, and they looked better at a closer glance. "I still don't deserve her friendship, nor Fiddleford's, nor anyone else's for that matter."

"We don't deserve a lot of things." Mabel mumbled into her uncle's chest. The old red sweater smelled of coffee and some sort of cologne that she couldn't name, but it brought back comforting memories of her times with Grunkle Ford. "We all do stupid stuff, and we won't ever stop, but we can at least try."

Ford chuckled and held Mabel a little bit tighter. Though it was far from sundown, as the star that warmed the Earth began to dip, the two found themselves unwilling to move and fell asleep in each other's hold.

* * *

It was incredibly hot outside, so hot Ford tugged at his turtleneck sweater, but he refused to remove it or even roll up his sleeves, so he made himself wallow in self pity and wondered if he would die of heat-exhaustion. Mabel had removed her white sweater with baby-blue raindrops on it and lied in her baby-blue skirt and white undershirt on the floor, bored and her mind too sleepy to think of what to do about it. Dipper and Stan were trying to ignore the heat of the day by playing cards, but they were both too miserable to play; Stan didn't even had the clear head he needed to cheat.

Waddles ran into the living room and squawked and squealed for Mabel's attention, pulling on her skirt and even eating her hair. Unlike her usual spunky-self, Mabel nudged the pig to try to get him away and moaned, "Waddles, not now."

"What's got that pig worked up?" Stan growled over his cards, giving it a deadly glare.

The old conman got his answer as a loud roar rang through outside. The Pines family exchanged looks and then ran outside to investigate. Mabel brought up the rear, making sure her beloved pig was inside and then she closed and locked the door. Out in the woods something was running away from the Shack and towards town. Ford pulled out his ray gun and Stan slipped on his brass knuckles.

"You kids stay close." Ford instructed and the younger pair of twins nodded.

Mabel stayed close to Stan and watched him peer around the forest as they walked away from the safety of their home. Ford and Dipper led the little expedition and started to speculate as to what had made the horrid sound.

"Any ideas what that was, Grunkle Ford?" Dipper whispered.

"A have a couple, Dipper, but each one is more unlikely than the last." Ford mumbled back, pointing his gun at anything that moved, from a leaf, to a deer, to a golf-ball, to a bird, all of which posed no threat to his family.

The sun was settling lower into the sky and distant bells told the Pines that it was five o'clock. The dirt-road they were walking down showcase a small view of the town, but that was not their destination. Ford pointed to an old hiking trail and the other three nodded, agreeing to try it. They ventured onward, shadowed by overgrown trees. Dipper fished out his flashlight from his vest and shined some light on the situation, making the journey ahead slightly more predictable.

A few more steps forward and a stick breaking made the uncles perk up and glare at where the road winded and curves, hard to see what was also on the path. Gun aimed and fists made, Stan and Ford were ready to protect the young-teenagers at any costs. Dipper shined the flashlight as far off as he could and they caught a glimpse of something walking down the path.

A few steps later and it was a woman in high-heeled black boots, wearing not her usual bell-bottom jeans and white t-shirt, but a long navy-blue dress with a black shawl tied around her waist. Her hair tied back with a matching blank bandanna and her hands sporting her usual golden bracelets and a matching watch, Hephzie was walking down the path with a purse over her shoulder and papers in her hands, sorting and reading them closely.

"Hephzibah Cece?!" Dipper and Mabel gasped.

Hephzie jumped and shoved the papers into her purse. She looked ahead with wide eyes, but quickly regained her composure and tried to hide her shock to find the whole Pines family in the middle of the woods.

"What are you doing here?" Dipper asked.

"Nothin' important." Hephzie said firmly and gave all of her focus to the kids, looking down at them with her hands on her hips. "What are y'all doin'?"

"We heard a loud roar and thought we'd check it out." Mabel answered.

Hephzie nodded and looked up at the sky as it started to turn orange. "Yeah, I heard it, too. I was actually on my way to investigate…"

"What are you gonna do, missy?" Stan laughed and pointed at the woman. "Hit it over the head with your bag?"

"Wanna demonstration?" Hephzie sneered with a smile.

Ford was silent, not of embarrassment, but his attention was somewhere else. He then suddenly grabbed Dipper and Mabel and dove down into the bushes, leaving Stan and Hephzie to defend themselves. "Get down!" Ford hissed as quietly as possible.

Stan hid behind a log and Hephzie climbed up a tree and perched herself on a branch to keep a look-out for whatever made Ford hide. Sniffing the air and walking over the bushes and ferns that covered the ground, a velociraptor was looking for dinner.

Mabel tried to gasp, but Ford quickly covered her mouth with a six-fingered hand. Dipper's mind suddenly went back to their visit to the underground-mines and tunnels that held dinosaurs trapped in tree-sap. Though the pterodactyls were dead and the t-rex had starved to death after Weirdmageddon, the rest of the old lizards could emerge to the surface any day, and it looked like one of them had.

Hephzie reached under her shawl and grabbed the handle of a concealed weapon, but her stance proved to be unnecessary as the velociraptor gave one last roar and chased after a runaway squirrel. Mabel hid her face in Ford's chest as a sickening crunch could be heard and the dino ran off to find more.

Hephzie hopped down from the tree and said, "Looks like that sap isn't gonna hold on much longer. We have to make sure none of the other dinos can escape!"

"Agreed," Ford said as he and the kids got up. "We can take care of the velociraptor, but I hate to think of what would happen if the stegosaurus or the brachiosaurus could reach the rest of Gravity Falls."

Hephzie didn't look at Ford as he spoke, but kept her eyes on where she last saw the velociraptor. Ford looked at her, speculating how angry she was towards him, and wished that she would look at him, yell at him, or even hit him. Somehow the silent treatment was worse than anything he thought he was going to get when they first met.

"Alright, let's move." Stan said, unaware of the thick atmosphere. "The sooner we get there, the sooner we can leave." He huffed and led the way to the old church.

Hephzie followed him with the kids at her heels, making Ford walk behind the lot. He kept his gaze on the back of her head and studied her, his hands buried in his pockets. She hadn't changed much, her height and hair the same, but she had a few wrinkles to present her age. She stood tall and strong and clearly had enough strength to climb up and down a tree and go on an adventure. Ford was impressed and wanted to talk to her, but told himself that it could wait.

"So, wait," Dipper said to Hephzie. "How do you know about the dinos?"

"I did my fair share of explorin', kid. I actually used to go to that church n' perform in the choir, then one day a sinkhole had appeared n' we had to shut it down so no one would get hurt. Your Great-Uncle over here wanted to investigate, so into the hole we went." Hephzie said, jabbing a thumb behind her.

"Wait, you knew Poindexter?" Stan asked and looked back at his brother, who rubbed his neck and glanced away.

"More or less." Hephzie said with a shrug. "We used to hang out a lot back in the old days. There it is!" She said and pointed to the old church.

Or what was left of it. When Waddles had been rescued, half of the old church had collapsed due to the geyser. When they needed to grab the t-rex for their weapon to take back the falls, the church was barely holding up. Now it had completely fallen under its own weight and was nothing more than a pile of old wood.

"Watch your step." Hephzie instructed as they approached it and she, Dipper and Mabel watched where they walked carefully.

Stan and Ford lifted some beams and removed some rubble to uncover the sinking hole that led to the mines. The little group peered down and Ford pulled out a rope from his trenchcoat to tie to one of the heavy beams.

"Everyone, climb down slowly."

"I'll go first." Hephzie volunteered. She did so like she said she would, with Dipper and Mabel following her closely.

Ford and Stan crawled down last, giving Stan a chance to tease his brother. "Hey, Sixer," He sneered. "What's up with the lady?"

Ford rolled his eyes. Great, now Stan knew, too. "She's just an old friend." The old scientist said firmly.

Stan wiggles his eyebrows and made a clicking sound with his tongue.

Ford gave his twin a look that could kill and said through grit teeth, "Two words: Carla McCorkle."

Stan's mouth turned into a thin line and he continued to climb down without another word.

The old men rejoined the kids and lady as they looked around the jungles trapped in the Cretaceous period. Plants and flowers curled and grew in the sunlight leaking from holes in the cave. Dipper got excited and pulled out his journal to drot down some notes.

"Oh, man! This place hasn't changed much, has it?" Dipper asked his sister.

"Nope!" Mabel said with a grin. "Look! There's that flower that made Soos lose his sense of smell! And there's the plant that I thought looked like throw-up! And there's that one rock that looks like a hand!"

"Is it a hand that looks like a rock, or a rock that looks like a hand?" Dipper asked, making Mabel put a hand on her chin and ponder about the weird rock.

Hephzie smiled and said, "I'm gonna guess y'all have been here before."

"We had to rescue my pet pig, Waddles." Mabel explained as they walked into the large tunnel. "Grunkle Stan even punched a pterodactyl in the face for me!"

"You did not!" Ford laughed at his twin.

"Did too!" Stan said, puffing up his chest and punching the doubter on the shoulder.

"Alright, keep your guard up, people." Hephzie instructed as she put a hand on her handle again. "This ain't a tour through a museum. Any other dinos could be free."

"How are we going to trap them?" Dipper asked.

"If I remember correctly," Hephzibah pondered as they walked in deeper into the cave and the boy pulled out his flashlight again. "There's a part where the tunnel divides into several paths. If we can block 'em all, n' then the one we came out of, that should stop anythang from escapin' this place."

"But how are we going to do that?"

"I have my ray gun on me," Ford pointed out and held back his trench coat to prove it. "We can always use that. I guess we could also use the velociraptor or any other prehistoric creatures to do the job."

The familiar roar of the velociraptor rang through the cave and everyone sized up. Hephzie drew out a long Scottish claymore sword with a maroon and gold handle. Ford aimed his gun ahead and Stan stood in front of the kids, his brass knuckles out and ready.

Ford glanced down at the sword in Hephzie's hands and recognized it. He cleared his throat as subtle as he could and asked, "You… kept the sword I gave you?"

Hephzie threw him a glance to see that he wasn't smiling or frowning, just looking ahead for any signs of trouble. She looked forward and said quietly, "Well, yeah. It means a lot to me, Dumb-Dumb."

Stan snorted and pointed at his brother, making the genius blush tomato-red as he tried to focus on the mission.

Mabel ran from behind her Grunkle Stan to Hephzie's side as they walked on, poised and ready to attack. "He gave you that sword?"

Hephzie nodded without looking at anyone. "My old one snapped on a mission, so he bought me this one for my birthday."

"She had saved my life from a shapeshifter I had raised from an egg." Ford began to tell, but was interrupted by his great-nephew.

"The one under the tree where you hid the third journal?" He asked.

"So that's where ya hid it..." Hephzie muttered.

"Yes, that's the one." Ford said quietly, his eyes still on the lookout for any threats. "Hephzibah saw right through his tricks and managed to help me trap him right before we shut the operation down. Fiddleford didn't so much go near that tree after that."

Ford looked over at Hephzie again to find her expression still as hard as steel, looking for the velociraptor. She was so careful not to talk or look at him. It was just as Ford was afraid of; she hated him. He didn't blame her one bit, he hated himself, too, but it still hurt to know that this was one friend he couldn't earn back.

The little group finally reached the cluster of trapped dinos and awed at the gold-glowing substances. The other dinos looked well in cased for now, which eased their worries a little, but there was still the velociraptor to look out for and they still needed to block the caves.

Ford cocked his gun and aimed for one of the top tunnel-mouths. "Right, let's get this over with."

He shot at the tunnel and the entrance collapsed on itself, sealing the cave. He aimed again and again while Hephzibah and Stan kept an eye out for the velociraptor. Ford soon had all the caves blocked except for one and aimed carefully. Stan felt something watching them and turned around. Something sprung from behind Ford and pounced on his back.

"STANFORD!"

Ford rolled around trying to pry a snapping dino off of him, holding its neck back to try to create some distance between it's razor sharp teeth and the human flesh. Stan sucker-punched the dino in the jaw with his brass knuckles and it staggered off of his brother. Ford quickly got up and aimed his gun at the dino only to see it's attention was on someone else. The dino started to run for Mabel

"NO!"

Ford shot, but missed as it swerved and went for the girl. Mabel started to run for the open cave and Hephzie ran for the dino. She just caught up to it and slashed its side with her sword, making it mad and it swung it's tail at her, throwing her against the mouth of the tunnel. Hephzie could feel it crumbling and her eyes moved to Mabel as she was deeper into the tunnel to try to escape from the velociraptor.

Ford tried to run into the tunnel as well, but Stan knocked him on his feet to keep him from being crushed by falling rocks. Hephzie dove and pushed Mabel aside, letting the dino run away, and soon all that could be seen was rubble and dust.


	5. Ο Αλχημιστής

Stan got on his hands and knees, coughing the dirt out of his lungs. His brother got up slowly and held his head. His nephew ran up to them and helped Stan get up.

"Are you guys okay?" Dipper asked, breathless with fear.

"We're fine." Stan grunted.

Assured his uncles were safe, Dipper sped to the mouth of the cave and tried to pull away the rocks and rubble that separated him from his sister. "MABEL! MABEL!"

"Oh, no." Ford breathed, his heart shattered at the thought of his niece hurt where he couldn't reach her.

"MABEL!" Stan yelled and ran up to join Dipper, looking around for any sign of her. "MABEL, PUMPKIN! MABEL!"

From the other side of the wall of rocks, Hephzie was on her hands and knees over Mabel, shielding her from any harm. Now that everything was still, they got up and blindly ran to the mouth of the cave, completely engulfed in darkness. Mabel could hear her family calling her name and the distressed teenager banged her fists on the barricade.

"GUYS!" She called back. "Are you okay?"

"We're okay, pumpkin!" Stan yelled with a slightly lighter chest, thankful to hear her voice. "Are you hurt?!"

"No, Hephzie saved me." Mabel said. "But we can't see a thing and the dino could be anywhere!"

Stan felt like he might have a heart-attack. He followed Dipper's lead into trying to clear the rubble, but more rocks fell and the men had to take a few steps back or risk breaking a bone or two.

"Boys, BOYS!" Hephzie yelled. "Stop it or y'all crush us! The velociraptor ran off n' I swear on my life that it won't touch her, 'k?"

"But how will we escape?" Mabel asked, trying to see her hand in front of her face and was scared when she couldn't even do that. "I can't see!"

"We'll just have to keep on walkin'." Hephzie encouraged.

"Well, you're trapped in the tunnel heading for the pterodactyl's nest." Dipper said rationally. "We can meet you guys there and try to find a way out."

"Good idea, sweetheart." Hephzie encouraged. "We'll take care of the velociraptor, y'all try to block the rest of the exits."

"All there's left is the way we came in." Ford pointed out. "We can always barricade that later."

"Okay," Mabel called and took Hephzie's hand. "We'll meet you guys at the nest!"

"Be careful, sweetie." Grunkle Stan begged.

"Watch each other's backs." Grunkle Ford instructed.

"And Hephzie," Dipper said, catching the old woman's attention. "Thanks for saving my sister."

Hephzie was shocked for a moment, but then smiled. It was nice to hear a "thank you" every so often. She gave a nod, but then remembered that Dipper couldn't see her. "Anytime."

The two ladies walked on down the cave, Mabel's head racing with ideas. She was alone with Hephzibah Cece, Grunkle Ford's old friend and possibly love interest. Guys had no clue how to talk about how they felt, but girls were smarter than that and easier to talk to. Still blind, Mabel decided that if there was a time to talk, it was now. "Hephzie?"

"What is it, sweetheart?" She asked gently.

"Are you mad at Grunkle Ford?"

Hephzie hesitated. "No, honey, I'm not mad."

Mabel felt like she was lying, but decided to play along. "Than how come you wouldn't talk to him?"

So she noticed, hu? Hephzie frowned and said, "Perhaps I have nothin' to say to him."

"Hephzie," Mabel said sadly, trying to think of what to say so it wouldn't offend Hephzie or insult Ford. "He's really sorry about not talking to you, but you don't understand. There was this portal and…"

"Mabel," Hephzie interrupted. "I can tell that you're a real sweet gal, but now's not the time to talk about Stanford. Right now, we need to find that dino-nest."

Mabel sighed. "But Grunkle Ford…"

"N' has it crossed your mind that maybe my problem isn't with him?" The old woman asked sternly, making Mabel's eyes widened. "Believe it nor, kid, but the world does not revolve around Stanford Pines."

"But if you're not mad at Grunkle Ford, then who are you mad at?" Mabel asked softly.

"Mabel, look!" Hephzie pointed ahead and the young teenager did as she was told.

Like in a dream, a ray of sunlight could be seen at the end of the tunnel. Hephzie and Mabel let go of each other's hands and ran into the light to find a giant nest that once provided shelter to two pterodactyls. Inside the nest rested the baby's skeleton. Mabel swallowed a lump in her throat. The limited sunlight told Hephzie that it was almost sundown.

"But what about the guys?" Mabel asked.

Hephzie got down on one knee and put a kind hand on the girl's shoulder. "I'm sure they'll find a way here. Until then, keep your eye out for the…"

"DINO!"

"Yeah, wait..."

The velociraptor pounced from behind Hephzie, and she grabbed Mabel and ran for the pterodactyl's nest. Once on the other side of the rails, Hephzie pulled out her sword and used it to cut the tracks off, disconnecting the nest from the velociraptor. The lizard screeched and roared in anger, then paced the little cliff in case it got a chance to eat again.

"We'll give the boys time to catch up." Hephzie said and sat down cross-legged.

"Where did you learn how to sword fight?!" Mabel asked with shining eyes and sat next to her.

"My Grandpa wanted to make sure I could protect myself," Hephzie explained as she held up her sword and could see her and Mabel's reflection in it. "So he signed me up for martial arts class when I was five."

"Did you ever teach Grunkle Ford?" Mabel asked.

Hephzie signed and held her head, closing her eyes for a moment. "You must really love him to bring him up all the time."

"I do." Mabel said proudly. "Well, did you?" She pressed forward.

"I taught him a thang or two, yeah." Hephzie said, her eyes shut as she could practically see them fighting in his living room, comparing her martial arts to his boxing lessons.

"Like how to play the piano?" The brunette asked with a cherry grin.

The old lady laughed and looked down at Mabel, still holding her head. "Yeah, I did. He was a good student, too. Ya know," She said and let go of her head to lean in closer. "Your grunkle n' I used to have 'piano wars', playin' as many different songs as possible n' seeing who could top the other." She giggled, remembering how much they could escalate and end in either a yelling match or a broken window.

"What did you used to play?" Mabel asked, leaning her head against Hephzibah's arm.

"Ford's favorites were _Boccherini's Minuet_ , the Indiana Jones' theme song, n' anythin' Mozart. He was also one of the few people I knew that could play _Liszt's Hungarian Rhapsody part two_ and _Flight of the Bumblebee_ as impressive as him. I'm more of a Beethoven fan, n' I usually played _Satie's Gymnopedie number one_ , _Clair De Lune_ , n' _Disco Inferno by The Ladies_."

"I don't know what any of that is, but I like it!" Mabel declared with a huge grin. Hephzie laughed and glanced over at the velociraptor, who was still pacing, at the exit. Mabel followed her gaze and asked, "What are we going to do?"

"I have to take care of it before it can hurt anyone else." Hephzie said darkly. "Ya stay here n' I'll come getcha later."

"No!" Mabel protested. "I can help!"

"I like your spunk, but I can handle that overgrown lizard." Hephzie tried to ensure the girl and ruffled her hair. "Watch n' learn, sister." She said and stood up to try to think of a plan.

She had acted a little rash when she broke the bridge, but at least they had a homebase. Hephzie looked down at the jungle beneath them. It was an incredibly far jump, so the likelihood of climbing down and then back up was a long shot. She then turned her attention to the smaller pillars and cliffs scattered along the gap. Knowing her chances were slim, she looked back at Mabel one last time. She gave Hephzie a reassuring smile that made the old woman feel like she could do anything. Hephzie took a couple steps back, and then made a run for it, jumping out of the nest.

"Hephzie!" Mabel cries out in shock.

She barely made it and stabbed the pillar she had aimed for as she started to fall to her death. Hephzie sunk a little, but the sword got stuck and Hephzibah hung on for dear life as she hung by the edge of the pillar.

"Hephzie!" Mabel called, having an idea and taking advantage of her vulnerability. "You said you're not mad at Grunkle Ford, but who are you mad at?"

"Now's really not the time!" Hephzie shouted as she struggled to hold on. She sprung to the next pillar and climbed to the top to then leap from that.

"Now's the perfect time!" Mabel argued. "Get it off your chest! No one else is here!"

"Mabel, let it go!" Hephzie ordered harshly, losing her temper. One by one she was getting closer and closer to the mines. The velociraptor saw the human coming closer and lowered itself to the ground, ready to pounce once she made it to the dino's territory. "Steady." Hephzie muttered to herself as she climbed up the last pillar. One more and then it was war. "Steady…" Hephzie gave herself a running start, and then jumped with her sword over her head.

She took a bite to the shoulder, but cut the dino over the eye with her blade. Hephzie staggered as the velociraptor screamed in pain and doubled over, but it wasn't out of the fight yet. Claws and sword swung in the air and clang, leaving Mabel to only sit in the nest and watch in fear.

Down below them in the heart of the jungle, the Pines men looked around for any sign of the girls.

"Alright, the nest should be around here somewhere…" Ford pondered.

"There!" Dipper yelled and pointed to the pterodactyl's old nest.

"Great, but how do we get up there?" Stan asked.

"I think our best shot is to have Mabel and Hephzibah come down here." Ford speculated. "That way we can lead them back out the way we came. Now, if only…"

"Come on, who are you mad at?!"

The men exchanged looks and then ran towards the nest. As they got closer they could barely make out Hephzie fighting the velociraptor hand-to-hand by the mouth of the cave with Mabel trapped in the pterodactyl-nest.

"Whoa." Stan awed, impressed by Sixer's friend's fighting skills as she flipped over the dinosaur and nearly stabbed it in the head. "Not as cool as punching a…"

"Let it go, Stanley." Ford mumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"HEPHZIE!" Mabel yelled angrily.

"MABEL, DROP IT!" Hephzie screamed as the velociraptor backed her over the edge of the cliff and she somehow managed to drag to the edge of the cliff one-handed, the other holding her sword.

"Oh, no!" Dipper panicked. "What do we do?!"

"MABEL!" Ford yelled. "MABEL, CAN YOU HEAR ME?!"

But Mabel wasn't paying attention; she was too focused on getting Hephzibah to answer her question. "COME ON! You're mad, upset and hurt, Hephzie! I wanna help you, but I can't if you don't tell me what's bothering you! Who are you mad at?!"

"I'M MAD AT MYSELF!" Hephzie screamed so loud it echoed around the cave, making the Pines family below cover their ears, but Mabel only covered her mouth, tears in her eyes.

The velociraptor tried to bite Hephzie and she took one more swing of her sword before letting go. The sword hit the dino on the head and sent it falling with the human.

"Move!" Ford ordered and as Stan readied for a fight, Dipper tried to find a way to get to his sister.

Hephzie stumbled on several mushrooms and plants that helped cushioned her fall, making it easy for her to spring up and hold her sword double-handed for the next battle, while also dealing with the battle within herself. "I'm mad that I allowed myself to wallow in self-pity for thirty years!" Hephzie yelled up to Mabel as she looked around for the missing dinosaur. "I'm mad that I didn't even bother to figure out what happened to my best friend!"

Ford awed at Hephzie as she hunted for the monster, blood seeping from her shoulder and a shiny bruise on her forehead. Was she talking about him? Is that why she wasn't talking to him? Ford had been too busy hiding in shame to see that maybe Hephzie was ashamed, too.

"I'm mad that I failed to look after Fiddleford! I'm mad that I lost the journal! I'm mad that I can't even save my family's stupid piano store! N' I'm mad for bein' mad!" Hephzie yelled.

Dipper screamed as the dino pounced on him. Stan dove right on the lizard and punched him in the face. He lifted the dino up by the neck to land a shiner, when Ford shot it with his ray gone, sending it flying and it hit a tree. Grunkle Stan ran to protect Dipper as the boy held a bleeding leg.

"I have no reason to be mad!" Hephzie continued to tell Mabel, who was fully aware of everything that was going on. The old woman was slowly approaching the slow velociraptor. "I did this to myself n' did nothin' short of dig my own grave! N' now I gotta lie in it!"

As the velociraptor stood up for another attack, Hephzie leaped on it and rolled into a large clump of bushes with it, screams and roars ringing clear throughout the cave.

What was even scarier than watching someone roll out of sight with a deadly animal and screaming, was the deafening silence afterwards. Ford recharged his gun and was ready to shoot at the bushes if he saw something dangerous. The plants rustled for a moment, only to have Hephzie crawl out of the shrubbery. She was covered in blood and her ponytail had come undone, but otherwise she looked fine.

She stood on shaking knees, instantly saw Ford, and slapped her forehead. "Thanks a lot, Mabel!" She yelled sarcastically.

"You're welcome!" The teenager called back with a wave of her hand.

"Mabel, jump down!" Ford hollered.

"WHAT?!" Stan, Dipper and Mabel all yelled.

"It's okay, I'll catch you!" Ford promised and held his arms open wide. Mabel hesitated, scrunched her eyes closed, and then jumped out of the nest. She, too, landed on a mushroom or two before landing perfectly into her Grunkle Ford's arms, who then hugged her tightly and could breath a little easier. "Mabel! Thank goodness you're safe!"

"Mabel!"

"Dipper!" Mabel panicked and ran to her brother, who was being looked over by Grunkle Stan. Dipper rested his head on Stan's chest and looked pale as his leg seeped blood. It was bent abnormally just below the knee, saying that he had snapped his leg like a twig. "Are you okay?!"

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine." Dipper moaned, trying to act tough in front of his family.

"We need to get him to a hospital!" Stan said.

"No, I can handle it." Hephzie volunteered and got on her knees in front of the boy.

"What, are you serious?!" Stan yelled, scowling at the old woman.

"Stanley," Ford said firmly, making his brother look up at him. "Trust her."

Stan's scowl turned into shock at hearing Mr. Superstition tell him to trust someone. Though his willingness to trust others had vastly improved over the year he had been back, he was still hesitant. Stan knew that if Ford could trust Hephzie with Dipper, Stan could, too. He nodded and looked down at his nephew, who had his eyes on Hephzie as she put her soft hands over the boy's wound.

"'K, just try to relax, honey." She said gently. Hephzie clapped her hands, as if in prayer, and then covered the injury with both of her hands. A crimson-red glow sparked for a moment, but then it was gone. When she removed her hands, the wound was closed. Hephzie untied her shawl from around her waist and used it to clean up the blood. "Better?"

Dipper was speechless as he tried to stand and walk; he was successful and found that his leg didn't hurt at all. "Yeah!" He gasped and grinned at Hephzie. "Thank you! How did you do that?!"

"I didn't do anythang." Hephzie laughed. "It was all ya, kid. Ya unlocked the door, I just gave ya the key."

"Holy Moses." Stan breathed with a hanging jaw.

"Wow." Mabel whispered.

Ford grinned proudly with his hands in his pockets.

"That's medical alchemy, isn't it?" Dipper asked. "How is that even possible?!"

"They'll be plenty of time to explain all that," Hephzie said as she stood up. "Right now let's get outta here n' seal the exits."

"Yeah, let's beat it!" Stan said as he led the way to another tunnel that the Pines men had used to find the nest. "Jurassic Saphole's the worst."

Mable hurried to her Grunkle Stan and walked with him while Dipper followed his sister, a little spring in his step as he tested out his leg. Ford walked alongside Hephzie and carefully watched her clap her hands and heal the bite on her shoulder. She continued to use her ruined shawl to clean up the velociraptor's blood from herself and her sword, and then tied it back around her waist. Hephzie pocketed her prized weapon and as she pulled up her dreadlocks, Ford cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Hephzibah, I… I want to thank you for protecting my family."

She glanced over at him quickly before he could notice. Hephzie watched Stan walk ahead with the young teenagers and smiled. "Anytime. I had nothin' better to do, anyways." She said with a shrug. She looked at Ford again and held her face in one of her hands. "Just my luck. I finally spill n' you're there to hear the whole thang."

"I'm glad I overheard you. I know what it's like to put all the blame on your shoulders, and I don't want to see you do that to yourself. What happened between us… it wasn't your fault."

"Maybe." Hephzie theorized. "But I didn't exactly lend a helpin' hand, did I?"

"Are you kidding me?" Ford asked with a smile. "You were always getting me out of trouble or saving the town! Remember when we found the enchanted forest?"

Hephzie laughed and said, "I thought ya were gonna commit murder! Ya were so annoyed with those unicorns!"

"Hey, she kept neighing in a high voice and claiming I wasn't pure of heart or whatever!" Ford said, laughing as well. "And you nearly destroyed the Fairy Salon!"

"I may have gotten a lifelong ban, but my hair looked awesome!" Hephzie said, flicking her high-ponytail to show off her dreadlocks. "N' speaking of bans, ya somehow managed to get yourself kicked outta the Gnome Tavern!"

"That actually wasn't much of a loss…"

The two continued to swap memories as the little group passed the rest of the sap-covered dinosaurs and found the rope they had left behind for the church. The kids went first, than Stan, than Hephzie, than Ford, and once he was up they all started to work on patching up the hole as best as they could.

"I'll bring some tools up here later and finish the job." Ford said once the entrance was at least hidden under the rubble as he dusted off his hands.

"Cool," Dipper said and turned to Hephzie. "So, am I going to get superpowers in my leg or something, cuz that would be cool!"

The old alchemist laughed. "Nope, sorry, kid. All I did was rearrange your molecules and cells to make your injury heal faster, that's all."

"Wait, what?!" Dipper gasped.

"No way!" Mabel beamed. "You gotta tell us how you did it!"

"Yeah, how did you even find this alchemy stuff?" Dipper asked.

"And what happened between you and Grunkle Ford?" Mabel added.

"Yeah, I kinda wanna know, too." Stan teased, poking his brother in the shoulder.

Ford growled and grabbed Stan's hand, crushing it under his tight grip and making the old man surrender.

Hephzie thought about it for a moment, her hands on her hips as she looked down at the round-eyed twins, and then said, "Look, why don't we get takeout or somethang n' eat my place? I'll tell ya everythang I know 'bout alchemy n' your Grunkle Ford, as long as it's cool with him."

"Can we?!" The teenagers asked their uncle and Ford smiled at his old friend.

"I suppose so. Chinese does sound delicious."

Mabel took Hephzie's hand and the girls led the way through the woods. Stan quickly called in an order and Dipper looked up at Ford, who was watching Hephzie talk with Mabel. There was a certain expression on Ford's face the young man only saw in keen moments, like when Dipper had saved him from a flying saucer, or when Mabel painted a turkey on his hand, or when he was on the Stan O' War II with his brother.

Ford had a peaceful, carefree smile. A smile he didn't need to fake.


	6. Qljkw Ehiruh Whuuru

Mabel stabbed a piece of orange chicken with her chopsticks, unable to use them properly. Dipper had completely abandoned the Asian silverware and used a plastic fork to eat his rice as he listened to Grunkle Stan's awful joke that, for some unknown reason, made Hephzie laugh. Maybe she was laughing at how stupid it was. She had changed out of her blood-soaked dress earlier and now wore her usual bell-bottom jeans and white button-up.

Dipper held his to-go container away from a big Saint Bernard dog when it looked at the human, but he made no movements for the food and sat like a good boy in Mabel's lap, who had squealed so loud everyone else's hear rang when she saw the fluffy puppy. Since then they had been inseparable.

The twins sat on one side of the couch and Hephzie took the other side. The two rocking chairs were occupied by Stan and Ford. Dipper looked around the small living room and was reminded of the Mystery Shack. The room was old and beat-up, except of carpet floors it was wood, but Hephzie had laid down a blue and green rug that reminded the teenager of the ocean. The walls were a creamy-white color and photos of Hephzie's grandparents' wedding, two different baby girls, and a couple of Hephzie as a little girl and a teenager.

The couch was against one wall of the room, and the bookshelf was against the opposite wall. Dozens of books and photos littered the piece of furniture, and Dipper saw photos from what looked like McGucket's wedding, Hephzie's college graduation, and a family portrait of her with her grandparents. The room also had a woodstove for the winter and big windows that would usually let in a lot of sunlight. However, seeing it was night now, they relied on the many lamps scattered around the room to provide light, creating a warm glow.

"So… who's ready to tell us their mysterious backstory?" Mabel dragged on once Hephzibah controlled her laughing.

Hephzie wiped a tear from her eye and looked over at the brunette. She petted the dog's head and said, "Okay, okay. I guess it all started when I moved up here to live with my grandparents."

 _Mom "wasn't ready" to take care of me n' I never met my dad, so Grandma n' Grandpa took me in n' raised me here in the piano store. Money was always tight n' my folks were too busy to entertain me, so every day I'd run 'round Gravity Falls, explorin' n' havin' fun. When I wasn't doin' that I was in martial arts school, learning how to fight n' defend myself. I often skipped school to play in the woods n' looked for new places n' creatures to discover. I was a bit of a wild-child, until one day I was waltzin' 'round downtown like I owned the place._

The little girl with frizzy hair black hair was skipping down the sidewalk, almost to the statue of Nathaniel Northwest, when she heard a scream and froze in fear. She turned and saw a big group of people at a construction site for a tall building. Hephzie ran to see what the commotion was about and listened.

"What happened?!"

"There were men working on the elevator! I think it collapsed!"

"I'm callin' an ambulance!"

Hephzie couldn't see past all of the adults, so she got on her hands and knees and crawled through the crowd. When she got to the edge, she could distantly hear a man yelling in agony; Hephzie's heart skipped a beat and she looked around for anyone that would help.

"He's stuck!" A red-haired man yelled and looked down at his six-year-old and yelled, "Go get the boys from the woods, Dave! NOW!"

The boy ran to get help and a few other men ran to the site to try to see what they could do. The elevator was hidden behind a fallen entrance and it seemed everyone was afraid of causing more damage to the poor man trapped underneath.

"Don't worry, just hold the wound closed!" The red-haired man hollard.

Hephzie ran to the men to try to help, but one man in a suit held out his arm and glared at the little girl. "Hold it right there, young lady!" He spat. "This is man's work! Get outta the way!"

Hephzie was stubborn and irrational. Her grandma had always taught her to never let her gender or color stop her from doing what she wanted to do, and so she little girl kicked the man's shine and yelled, "No one tells me what to do!"

Hephzie bolted for the little gap between the fallen beam ad the dirt and found she could slide in easily. None of the men could grab her, and so she ignored their orders and crawled through the wreckage. It looked like a beam had fallen and collapsed the entrance of the elevator. Hephzie kept on until she could see a little pool of red.

Shaking, she hurried to the man's side. He moaned in pain as he tried to hold his wound closed, his strength leaving him. Hephzie sat on her knees by the man's side and saw that a rail had fallen and stabbed the man. She looked away from the injury, mortified, and focused on the man who needed help. The man was balding and had tanned skin. Hephzie recognized him at once.

"Mr. Wentforth!" She called to try to keep him awake. "Mr. Wentforth! It's Hephzie!"

"Heph… He…"

"Help is on the way, sir!" Hephzie told the man and began to take off her shirt, revealing a bare dark-skinned chest.

She was going to use the shirt to help stop the blood, but then noticed that though the rail had stabbed Mr. Wentforth, it wasn't all the way in his side and could be lifted out of him without too much damage being done. It looked like Mr. Wentforth had grabbed it just in time before it dug deeper. Hephzie looked up at what was causing the broken rail to stab the man and saw that another beam had fallen on top of it. The whole site looked kind of like a domino game the way everything seemed to fall on each other.

Hephzie left the man and her shirt behind and scurried like an animal to the beam that kept the rail on the man. She gathered as much strength as she could and pushed the beam off of the rail, and then she ran back to Mr. Wentforth and said,

"Okay, try to pull it out, sir! Go ahead, pull it out!"

With the last of his strength, the man pulled the fail out of his side and screamed for his life. Hephzie quickly used her shirt to clog the wound and then she placed his hands over it so she was free to grab the man by the shirt and drag him out the way she came.

"C'mon, c'mon!" Hephzie huffed; pulling a man nearly three times her size was no easy task.

Hephzie shut her eyes tightly as she gave one last pull and managed to back out of the trap with Mr. Wentforth behind her. She hardly had time to open her eyes and look up at the crowd before being scooped up and carried to the ambulance.

"Tom! Tom, can you hear me!"

"Get 'em both in! She's covered in blood!"

"Hey, girl! Can you hear me?"

Hephzie looked up at a young man with blond hair that was cradling her and then tried to look back at Mr. Wentforth, but he was surrounded by men who were carried him on a stretcher.

"She's in shock, Ben. We'll take her in just in case."

The blond-haired doctor sat Hephzie down in a chair and she watched Mr. Wentforth being rolled in next to her on a stretcher. He looked like he was asleep and he was drenched in blood. The injury looked a lot worse than it did when they were trapped under the rubble, and Hephzie hugged her knees as her whole body shook.

She stayed that way all the way to the hospital. The blond-haired doctor carried Hephzie into her room where she was looked over by a sweet nurse with dark skin and short hair sprayed into stiffened curls. According to the nurse, the girl was perfectly healthy and so she quickly called her grandparents to discharge her.

While the nurse was talking on the phone, Hephzie slipped off of the hospital bed and roamed around carefully. Keeping an eye out for Mr. Wentforth, she saw a hallway filled with doctors and peeked into the rooms. One room had a woman asleep on the bed and her husband held her hand, a cradle by his side. A college boy with an afro had a broken leg and was being made fun of by a small group of friends.

One by one, Hephzie watched as people came and went through the hospital floor she had been assigned to. Some were overjoyed, some were devastated. She had never been to a hospital (aside from her birth) and walked like a zombie, dumbfounded by what she had been through. She didn't even hear the nurse's voice when she gently scolded her for leaving the room, or protest being led back to wait for her grandparents.

It didn't take long for the big, strong, tall Mr. Cece to storm into the hall and throw his granddaughter's door open.

"George, calm down!" His wife squacked and ran to the bed. "Alicia-Sarah Hephzibah Fisher Cece! Are ya hurt?! What happened?!"

Hephzie was holding her knees and did not even look up at her grandmother, her mind lost in thought.

"She's only in shock, Mrs. Cece." The nurse said. "Your girl saved a man's life today."

"She did?" Mr. Cece said and knelt down, placing a giant hand over one of her's. "Half-Pint, can ya hear me? Are ya alright, darlin'?"

Hephzie blinked and looked up at her grandparents. She opened and closed her mouth, but no words came out. Grandma sat on the bed and rubbed the girl's back. Grandpa talked to the nurse about what had happened and what they needed to do next. When they were done talking, the nurse asked,

"Any questions?"

Hephzie's head shot up so quickly she hurt her neck, but she didn't care. "How do I become a doctor?"

The nurse stared at the girl and the grandparents exchanged looks. Grandpa crossed his arms and smiled proudly at his little fighter. Grandma gave her little angel a hug. The nurse smiled with shiny red lips and signed the release paper.

 _Ever since then, I was obsessed with the medical field! I quit skippin' school n' worked by butt off to get my grades up. I even ended up one of the best in my class! I still made time to explore Gravity Falls, n' it was on my adventures that I kept comin' across ancient drawin's n' clues. Most of 'em I didn't understand, but I picked up on the alchemy messagin' n' dug deeper at the library._

 _I learned that alchemy is the science of deconstructin' somethang on a molecular level n' then reconstructin' to build somethang grand new! Scientists had tried to make bronze into gold this way, n' some alchemists believed that the same technique could be used on livin' creatures, even human life. I did my own private research n' decided to try to use alchemy in the medical field._

 _My mom was a… uh… dancer… in L.A. California, so I moved in with her for high school so I could get in-state tuition n' go to a university there. Mom didn't exactly want me around n' refused to give me anythang more than a cracked roof over my head, so I told her what's what n' provided for myself._

 _While keepin' a 4.0 GPA, I juggled three different jobs n' got accepted by my dream-school tuition-free thanks to scholarships. I worked harder than ever, n' after four long years I graduated with honors! Unfortunately, my research in alchemy kept me from gettin' accepted into medical school. Apparently people don't wanna be treated with someone who may or may not be involved with "witchcraft"._

 _While lookin' for some sort of shot to be a doctor, I got a call from Grandpa n' he told me how Grandma's health was gettin' worse every day. She was too weak to work, so I packed up everything n' moved back home to help my family. I never did get hired by the local hospital, too busy with Pianos for People, but I made it my life's mission to help people however I could!_

"Wait, wait, wait!" Dipper interrupted and shook his hands. "You mean after all that hard work, after working three jobs in high school, getting accepted to your dream-school and graduating, you just quit your dream-job and came here?"

Hephzie stared at Dipper and frowned at him. "Of course. My family needed me. In all fairness, I was homesick n' missed my real parents, the ones that actually wanted me around. Ya should have seen their faces when I came home! It was worth everythin' I had."

Hephzie turned her attention to the newest family photo she had with her grandparents, taken a few short years after she moved back to Gravity Falls. While she did so, Dipper caught a glimpse over at his Grunkle Ford to find him playing with his food, trying to catch a limp noodle with his chopsticks. He knew what the old man was thinking and felt sorry for him.

"Anyways," Hephzie said with a wave of her hand, making her bracelets jingle.

 _Not long after I moved back, I went for a walk in the woods. I was surprised to see how little things had changed while I was away! I was headin' over to the lake late one night when someone ran into me head first._

Out of shock rather than pain, Hephzibah let out a yelp and landed flat on her hindquarters. It was dark apart from the moon, but she heard a deep voice panic over her and she could see the outline of a man holding out his hand.

"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry, ma'am! Here, let me help you."

Hephzibah took it and got up slowly. "Hey, don't worry about it, man. No harm done." The young lady let go of the man's hand and went over to pick up her lantern, which was thankfully still lit.

Hephzibah lifted it to find a man about her age with paler skin in a suit and trenchcoat. His hair was fluffy and brown, his eyes behind a pair of glasses, and his face was round and kind, generally concerned that he had hurt her. "Are you sure?" He stuttered. "Do you need help?"

"Relax, it's fine." Hephzibah laughed and held out a hand to shake. "I'm Hephzibah."

"Stanford Pines." The man introduced himself and hesitantly shook hands with her. Stanford grew up with people making fun of him for his hands, so he prepared himself from anything to a joke, a comment, a flinch, anything.

Hephzibah, however, grew up in Gravity Falls, so she saw weirder than extra fingers all the time. She only smiled and when she let go of his hand, she looked up and down him and said, "Ya off to a business meetin' or somethang?"

Stanford chuckled and answered with, "Or something. Gotta dress for success."

"Glad to know someone in this town has a sense of style." Hephzibah joked around. "Not that I should talk."

Stanford looked at her clothes to find that she wore heeled-boots, blue jeans, and a white button-up, it's sleeves rolled up past her elbows and her collar as low as possible. He smiled and said, "I think it's a nice change from flashy colors and puffy clothes."

Hephzibah laughed and snapped a finger at the man. "I like ya, Stanford, ya know what's up. How come I've never seen ya around town? Ya new?"

"Actually, yes. I just moved here." He said as he rubbed the back of his neck bashfully.

"Nice! I was raised here. You'll love it!"

"Wait," Stanford said and pulled out a brown journal. "Maybe you can help me. Have you ever seen… this?"

Hephzibah looked down at the journal entry and grinned at the drawing. "Yeah, I've seen that thang lurkin' by the lake, but you're headin' in the wrong direction, sweetheart."

Stanford blushed and pocketed his journal back in his trenchcoat.

Hephzibah noticed this and laughed. "Don't be too flattered, I call everybody 'sweetheart'!"

Stanford relaxed, glad she hadn't fallen in love with him or anything crazy like that, and said, "Oh. Well, perhaps you would like to help me track down the creature? I'm still learning where everything is and I could use the help."

"Sure, why not?" Hephzibah said with a shrug and led the way down the path with her lantern. "Oh! N' don't freak out if you seen a flyin' eye or two; that's normal."

"Wait, what?"

 _That was the beginnin' of the best years of my life. It seemed like just when I had lost everythin', I gained so much more back! Ford became my closest friend - n' for awhile, my only friend - n' every day when it felt like I was trapped in my work, he'd come by n' we'd go on an adventure together. I thought I knew everythang there was to know about Gravity Falls, but he proved me wrong!_

 _Over the years we hung out a lot more n' Ford even had the holidays with my grandparents. Grandma loved him, confusing him for Sherlock Holmes, naggin' him to get a haircut, n' tryin' to feed him way too many expired cookies. Grandpa had always been a bit… overprotective, n' wasn't too happy about havin' a guy 'round all the time, but he somehow managed to let him live._

Ford started to laugh and said, "He once tried to choke me with a spoon."

"Well, you hate his enchilada, Dumb-Dumb." Hephzie smirked.

"There was no note!"

Stan snorted in his soda and looked up at his twin. "Dumb-Dumb?"

Ford turned bright red and scowled at Stanley.

"Sounds like you two were really close." Mabel said and leaned over the dog and closer to Hephzie. " _Really_ close."

Stan laughed and leaned over to high-five his girl, who happily accepted. Ford glared at the traitors before turning his attention to Hephzibah. She was smiling at him while she ate some beef n' broccoli. He smiled back and they both spoke to each other without words.

"I guess ya could say that." Hephzie said as she occupied herself with a stubborn piece of meat that wouldn't stay in between her chopsticks.

"We used to do almost everything together." Ford added to his family, giving his input on the whole situation. "I still kept in contact with Fiddleford, but I didn't know anyone in town until I met Hephzibah. They reminded me how important and special it was to have good friends like them by my side."

Hephzie nodded in agreement. "We needed each other, not just for research n' protection, but for thangs much more important than mortal objects or discoveries."

Dipper smiled and could understand why Mabel wanted the two of them to get back together. As they spoke to each other, they both looked happy. He remembered seeing a similar happiness vibe from Robbie and Tambry when they started dating. Dipper could remember a page in Journal #3 and knew that what Ford said was true.

 _"_ _I am overcome with emotion. The sight of my old classmate upon my doorstep filled my heart with such joy and gratitude. He has sacrificed so much to come to my aid… how wonderful it is to have my friend by my side! I must do my best to make him feel at home…"_

"Oh, getta room!" Stan yelled and laughed.

"Don't make me send Everest after ya." Hephzie sneered with a wicked grin; the dog perked his head up at the sound of his name.

 _By the time Fordsie finished his second journal, he started to think that maybe the reason Gravity Falls was so weird was because all of the anomalies came from an alternate dimension. N' so he n' Fiddleford started to work on a portal that would lead to said dimension n' help the whole world!_

 _Technology really wasn't my strong suit, but I still managed to help out by makin' sure the boys ate n' slept. I stopped by at least once a day to check on 'em n' Grandma made me pack meals every trip. Sure, our time together may have gotten less n' less, but they were so excited n' proud of their work. Plus, I had my own problems to try to work out._

 _My grandmother, bless her soul, was gettin' worse n' worse every day. Her strength was leavin' her n' her hallucinations weren't improvin' to say the least. My grandfather always took pride in takin' care of his wife, but he was startin' to get too old n' tired. So on top of takin' care of 'em both, I had to run the shop by myself n' find a way to keep our business from goin' bankrupt. Let's be honest, not a lot of people in Gravity Falls wanna buy a piano._

 _Half a year went by n' the holidays were comin' up. I hadn't visited the boys in a while, but I kept in touch with Fiddleford's wife, Madeline, n' she called to tell me that Fidds had quit their big project. I knew somethang was up n' thought that maybe they had reached a breakin' point, so I decided to pay a visit n' invite Ford over to my house for Christmas._

"WHO'S THERE?!" Stanford aimed a crossbow at Hephzibah without first looking to see who had knocked on the door.

Hephzibah's hand flew to the handle of her sword that was tucked under her coat, but she did not withdraw. "Whoa, whoa!" Hephzibah yelled with her other hand out to stop Ford from coming any closer. "Stanford, it's just me!"

Stanford blinked and gave his head a little shake, lowering his crossbow. Hephzibah let go of her sword-handle and relaxed, too. "Hephzibah!" Ford breathed, looking immensely guilty for almost shooting his friend. "What are you doing here?"

"What does it look... HEY!"

Without warning, Stanford pulled Hephzibah in by the collar of her coat and shined a small flashlight in her eyes.

"Ford!" Hephzibah yelled in frustration and pushed him back. "What is wrong…?"

Hephzibah stopped herself and look a closer look at Stanford. It had been a while since they were this close, and Stanford didn't look good. He had dark circles around his eyes, which were a little bloodshot, and his clothes and hair was a mess, an unusual trait for such a clean and tidy man. Not only that, but the look in his eyes were unsettling. He looked unhinged, at his wits-ends, and afraid.

"What happened to ya?" Hephzibah asked, concerned that Stanford may have been pushing himself too far. "Ya don't look too good. When was the last time ya slept?"

"There isn't time for that!" Stanford snapped and closed the door behind them. With his back to the young alchemist, he said in a low voice, his shoulders hunched, "I need your help."

Hephzibah blinked and put a hand on Stanford's back. "That's why I'm here. What's up?"

"Listen, I'm not sure who I can trust anymore." The author said desperately and he turned around, his hands on Hephzibah's arms and looking her dead in the eyes. "I've messed up, big time!"

Hephzibah put her hands over Stanford's and said, "Look, if it's 'bout Fidds I'm sure he'll…"

"No, it's not that." Stanford interrupted and walked towards the back of the house.

Hephzibah followed and noticed how much the house had changed. There used to be a time when the room was organized and welcoming; now it was full to the brim with papers, books, and experiments, which was not unusual, but some items looked like they had been destroyed or thrown aside. Hephzibah had a bad feeling that Stanford might have gone too far this time.

"From the first day I've been here, you've always helped me and walked with me every step of the way, Hephzie." Stanford started to say as he gathered papers and books, moving them around like he was looking for something. "And now I must ask for your help once again."

"Ford, when are ya gonna learn?" Hephzibah snapped at him, making him turn around. She walked up to him so they were very close, so close she could smell sweat and coffee off of him. While she may be a head shorter than Stanford, that didn't make her any less intimidating as she glared up at him and pointed at his chest, her other hand clenched into a fist. "We're a team!" The alchemist yelled. "You can trust me, remember?! You're… I'm not gonna letcha down! So whatever ya need me to do, I'll do it!"

Stanford, at first, glared at his friend, and then let out a heavy sigh, like he was holding his breath. Hephzibah's anger shrunk and she could see just how tired and beat-down the man before her was.

"I'm sorry, Hephzibah." Stanford said earnestly. "I've been a lousy companion to you over the years. And I'm sorry for everything I've done. I know I don't say it much, but I mean it when I say that you're probably the most amazing thing I've found here in Gravity Falls."

Hephzibah's anger was now dead. Stanford was not very romantic, but on the few dates they went out together, he had been close to saying some very poetic things. Today it seemed like he was finally ready to fully surrender himself to Hephzibah, and she was extremely grateful.

Like a thought had just come to him, Stanford's anxiety spiked again and he shoved a book into Hephzibah's hand. "Listen, I know I can trust you, so here. I need you to keep this journal safe. Hide it somewhere secret where no one can find it. I don't care if you bury it or hide it in the shop. Just get rid of it! Make sure no one can find it!"

Hephzibah looked down at the book and saw that it was Journal #2. Dumbfounded, she looked back up at her friend. "Your journal? Why? What's goin' on?"

"Nevermind that!" The polydactyl scientist hissed and turned away from Hephzibah. "Just hide it and make sure no one can get it!"

"Ford, you're unravellin'." The young alchemist said firmly and grabbed one of Stanford's hands. As usual, his hand was as cold as ice. "Ya need to lie down n' relax, take a nap, ya know?"

Stanford's tense shoulders started to drop and he allowed Hephzibah to guide him to the couch and sit down. The lack of sleep and her compassion, it was all started to get too much.

"I can hold down the fort for a while, just try to get some sleep." Hephzibah instructed and took an old blanket and used it to cover Stanford to make him cozy.

Stanford's eyes felt heavy again; they nearly always felt heavy now, but he suddenly found it very difficult to stay awake. Maybe Hephzibah was right. He'd be able to think more clearly if he got some rest. His body started to slump as he leaned against the couch and he started to drift off into sleep.

A thought occurred to him. He nearly snapped his neck to look up at Hephzibah, who was throwing some wood into the stove that kept the living room from freezing. She then started to pick things up off the floor. Stanford stared at her wide-eyed and was more tense and anxious than ever before. "Why do you want me to sleep, Hephzibah?"

"Cuz I'm worried about ya, Brainiac." Hephzibah said unashamedly as she continued to try to straighten up.

"Or you want me to start up the portal again!" Stanford yelled and jumped up, pointing a finger at Hephzibah.

Slightly frustrated, but glad to be getting some answers, she stopped cleaning and asked, "The portal? Is that what's gotcha so worked up?"

"Don't play dumb!" Stanford hollered, his hand shaking as he continued to point at the woman. "You want me to restart the inter-dimensional gateway! That's why you're here, isn't it?! You want me to sleep so you can break free into our world!"

"Stanford, you're not makin' any sense!" Hephzibah yelled and threw the papers she had gathered on a desk. "What happened with the portal? Why did Fiddleford quit?" For a split second, on the wall by the exit, Hephzibah could have sworn she saw a shadow. Her irritation turned into fear and she stood in a strong stance, ready to grab for her weapon in necessary.

"I WON'T SURRENDER!" Stanford screamed and grabbed his crossbow again. "YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!"

"STANFORD, WHAT ARE YA DOIN'?!"

Right as Stanford cocked his crossbow, just one trigger shy of a shot, Hephzibah grabbed her sword and pulled it out of her scabbard. Now each of them had some sort of blade pointed directly at them. Stanford was breathing heavily, like he had just run a marathon. His eyes still spelled out danger and he looked ready to kill. Hephzibah was strong and looked ready to attack anything that came for her. They had become a danger to each other, both scared and dangerous.

A few seconds of this passed until Stanford blinked a few times and started to comprehend the fact that his crossbow was aimed right for Hephzibah's neck. And this wasn't the first time he had done this to her. He seemed to have an act for hurting her. Stanford lowered his crossbow slightly, but did not put it away or let go. He also did not let his guard down or even attempt to excuse himself for his behavior; it looked like he had run out of words.

Hephzibah was angry that Stanford would push himself so far, and worse, push his friends so far away. She was frustrated and confused, and though she would never let it show, she realized that she was afraid of Stanford. After a few deep breaths to calm herself down, Hephzibah lowered her sword. "Okay. Fine." She grabbed Journal #2 and pocketed her sword away. "I'll take care of the journal n' leave ya to your thoughts."

Stanford finally dropped his weapon and watched Hephzibah walked by him and for the door. Tightening her coat, she faced the strong winter storm head-first and slammed the door shut. Ashamed of what he had said and done, Stanford ran for the door and opened it to call for his last friend. "Hephzibah! Hephzibah!"

Maybe she heard him, maybe she didn't. Most likely she ignored him, so mad, hurt, and caught up in her own problems that she didn't want to talk to him anymore. Although he was hurting from losing his last friend, the one person left who was willing to stand by his side, Stanford knew he couldn't allow her to get caught up in his own issues, so he closed the door and allowed the whispers to haunt him.

 _I never spoke to him again. I knew better than to try n' invite him over for Christmas again, but somethin' horrible must've happened if he was willin' to give up his precious journals. I first thought I'd hide it in my room, but I eventually hid it away somewhere in town n' vowed to check that it was still there once a month._

 _Christmas came n' went n' soon winter melted away. That spring, Grandma passed away in her sleep'. That fall, Grandpa followed her. I never bothered to invite Stanford to their funerals n' allowed myself to wallow in my own self-pity, drownin' in my grandparent's debt n' my own bitter feelings._

 _I had heard rumors for almost a year about how the mysterious house in the woods was now giving tours. I knew Stanford would never go for anythang like that and thought they were just rumors, but in hindsight I didn't really look closely into it. Now that I was alone n' free to think about such things, I knew it was time to make things work._

 _A little bit before Halloween I paid a visit to the cabin to find it had been named "The Murder Hut". I walked in to find a man that looked just like Stanford, but I knew it wasn't him. He never mentioned his family, but I was able to put two-and-two together. A few attempts to talk to him failed n' I knew that I wasn't goin' anywhere. Whatever was goin' on with Ford, he didn't want me to be a part of it, n' I wasn't sure if I wanted to get involved anyways._

 _I spent the remainder of my life barely holdin' on to what little I had left. I made it my life's mission to help as many people as possible, through my music or alchemy, n' was content._

"But now I see that I shouldn't have walked away." Hephzie said shamefully, the joyful atmosphere now gone and replaced with gloom. "I bailed when ya needed me most. I should've stuck with ya n' trusted my gut, but I didn't." She looked up from petting Everest and looked at Ford grimly. "Stanford, I'm truly sorry for not bein' there, but I'm here now, n' I wanna make the most of it."

The old scientist sighed and shook his head. "No, I shouldn't have push you away. I thought I couldn't trust anyone, and despite how many times you proved to me that I could lean on you, I never learned." Now it was his turn to look at her with a tired, desperate look on his face. "I'm sorry that I was a lousy friend to you. We were on the same sinking ship, but instead of helping each other it was every man for himself. I know I don't deserve it, but it'd mean a lot to me if we could… start over?"

Hephzie smiled and gave a small nod. "I'd like that."

"Awwwwwwwwwww!" Mabel cooed as she held her hands by her left cheek and stared.

Dipper pinched the inner corners of his eyes and mumbled, "Seriously?"

"Isn't it past your bedtime?" Ford asked in a sharp tone, glancing at his watch.

"We should probably head out anyways." Stan said and he stood up and popped his aching back. "I gotta open the Shack tomorrow."

"Yeah, I've got work, too." Hephzie said and shooed Everest down from the couch so she and Mabel could get up.

The Saint Bernard trotted over to Ford and licked his hand. The genius smiled and scratched under his chin.

"When can we come down for music lessons?" Mabel asked Hephzie as she helped gathered the empty Chinese-food containers.

"Anytime ya want, sweetheart."

"And feel free to come down for a free bobblehead or something, got it?" Ford offered as they all headed for the back door in the kitchen.

"What, now you're giving away free stuff to your girlfriend?" Stan laughed and them ran out the door to avoid a punch in the face.

Hephzie laughed and as she and Mabel threw the trash away, Ford held open the screen door and Dipper waved goodbye before following Stan's lead. Mabel gave Hephzie a quick hug and left as well. Hephzie held the door open so she could watch the Pines family walk away. Everest sat on the front step by his master's feet and watched them go, too.

Ford looked back to find Hephzie still watching them disappear into the forest. She raised an arm high in the air and waved. Ford lifted a hand and wiggled his fingers at her with a smirk. Once again, words didn't need to be said as he followed his family home, and Hephzie closed the door.


	7. 8-5 9-19 2-1-3-11

Hephzie sighed and rubbed her face one handed. Her other hand - the one hanging from her side - felt a nudge from a wet nose. The old woman looked down at her dog and scratched under his chin. Seeing his tail wag, she got down on one knee to pet the fur on top of his head, showing her only family member left some love.

"Good boy, Everest. Good boy." Hephzie said quietly.

The Saint Bernard closed his tired eyes and leaned his head deeper into Hephzie's hand as she continued to scratch under his chin, his weak spot. Some drool pooled in Hephzie's palm, but she didn't mind; she was used to it after three years. After a minute or two, the old alchemist got up, left the kitchen and went down the hall for the bathroom. She was too tired for a shower and decided to take one in the morning. Instead she ran the sink and started to wash her face while Everest laid on the bathroom mat.

After rinsing the soap off her face a few times, Hephzie looked up at her reflection in the mirror and saw a yellow eye looming behind her.

She turned around quickly and saw no one behind her. Everest perked up at seeing his human so distress, breathing fast and her eyes scanning the bathroom. Seeing that she and the dog were alone, Hephzie dried herself off with shaking hands and looked back in the mirror, afraid of seeing it again, but all she saw was her chocolate-brown skin turning pale from fear. She took a few deep breaths and brushed her teeth for bed.

When Hephzie walked into her bedroom, Everest beat her to the bed and waited for her to lie down so he could snuggle up to her, but Hephzie was hesitant to climb in. She was incredibly tired from a long day, but she was unsure if she would even get any sleep. She had to try and let go of her fear, so without undressing or removing the blankets, she lay on her back so Everest could prop his head on her chest. Hephzie placed a hand over his back and slowly petted him, her anxiety wearing off.

 _The sun was powerful. Everything from the sky to the grass seemed to be a shade of pink as a result of the afternoon glow. Hephzie looked around and saw that she was on a little hill and leaning against a weeping willow, it's leaves gangling all around her and swaying in the soft breeze. She closed her eyes and sat cross-legged to try to relax._

 _A menacing laugh echoed through the peaceful land and Hephzie's mind. She did not cringe nor open her eyes, but ignored the flare of blue light behind her left shoulder and continued to try to meditate._

 _"Alicia-Sarah Hephzibah Fisher Cece!" A familiar bone-chilling voice said gleefully as a small arm went over her shoulders. "It's been too long! Like, what, two years? Five years? Time doesn't really matter when you've been destroyed on a multi-dimensional level!"_

 _Hephzie shoved the arm away and spat, "Just Cece will do, ya three-sided monster."_

 _"Aw, come on, Short-Stack." Bill Cipher said, floating around her in circles. "Don't tell me ya didn't miss me! I know we've had our differences…"_

 _"That's an understatement."_

 _"...But I think I can help you!" Bill said, pointing at the old woman with a smiling eye. "It's not like you have much going for you right now anyways."_

 _"I don't need ya." Hephzibah said firmly, forcing herself not to open her eyes. "I've never needed ya. I've told ya 'no' a thousand times n' I'll tell ya 'no' again."_

 _"Listen, Hephzie," Bill said slyly, like a fox hunting down it's rabbit. "I seem to find myself needing a mode of transportation, a vessel, and you're just the lady for the job! If you help me, I'll help you!"_

 _"What could I possibly want from ya?" Hephzie growled and smiled as images came to her mind. "I have everythang."_

 _"Well, what if I could insure that everything stays safe?" Bill asked, a clenched fist surrounded in blue fire and his voice dropping dangerously._

 _Hephzie's smile died and she knew what Bill meant by that. "Ya wouldn't dare. Ya can't touch 'em!"_

 _"I may not be able to enter into your dimension," Bill said as he grew from being the size of Hephzie's head to ten-feet-tall. "But you'd be surprised what I can still do to your world! Don't play with fire, or you'll get burned! NOW LOOK ME IN THE EYE!"_

 _Hephzie opened her eyes to retaliate and give Bill the scariest look he had ever seen, but she found Bill's eye so huge and close to her that she could see her reflection. In it she was surrounded by fire. Hephzie looked down and around to find the pink color-scheme had turned into red and orange as the whole field was on fire._

 _"You can't avoid me forever, Sweet-Cheeks! You'll need me, and when you do, I'll be there to make a deal! Why don't you just give it up now before someone gets hurt?!" Bill threatened, his eye red with anger._

 _"NO ONE tells me what to do!" Hephzie yelled her famous one-liner._

 _She coughed and her eyes stung with smoke. She blinked several times and found it harder to breathe._

Hephzie sat up quickly to find Everest whining and yelping for her. The colors of red and orange followed her from her dream and she blinked hard to try to see clearly. It wasn't a dream anymore. Her whole bedroom was on fire and she could feel the heat and smoke cloud them.

* * *

 _Ford looked around the old piano store and found Hephzie playing in the back corner, facing him and smiling as she played a peaceful melody. She was so immersed in her music that she played with her eyes closed. She wore a suit and her golden earrings and bracelets glistening in the candlelight. Ford grinned and talked towards the grand black piano. Candles dripped white wax and any other light was dimmed, focusing on her as she played and hummed._

 _Ford crossed his arms over the piano and smiled at her playing. Was this an original piece? He didn't recognize it. It had a nice tempo and he tapped his foot to the beat._

 _"We'll meet again," Hephzie sung in a jazzy voice. "Don't know when, don't know where, but I know we'll meet again some sunny day."_

 _Ford stared and clenched his fists, grabbing onto the sleeves of his trenchcoat. Hephzie finally looked up at him and winked. Her eyes… they were…_

Ford's alarm clock rang before the dream could turn into a nightmare. He shut it off and ruffled his gray hair. He stared at the ceiling blindly and tried to think of the weird dream.

He was prone to dream, and even more prone to have nightmares. Some nights he woke up drenched in sweat and shivering, unable to fall back asleep and would resort to waiting for sunrise by working on a project, writing, or taking a walk in the woods. More often than not, his nightmares consisted of his many mistakes, like nearly losing his family, his own demise, and Bill. Ford could still hear Bill's voice crystal clear. He often dreamt of Bill coming back and hurting his family. Some dreams were more graphic and gruesome than others. Once or twice he yelled in his sleep and even woke up Stan, a total embarrassment. As the months went on Ford's sleep had improved, and it had actually been quite a while since he had dreamed of anything remotely like his enemy.

Ford finally sat up and slipped on his glasses. He tried to think rationally about the dream. Sure, he had just made amends with Hephzie, so of course he would dream of her. And she loved the piano; though healing and helping people was her drive, her passion was always in her music. It made her happy, and Ford's heart had always swelled to see her play or sing or dance. But that choice of song… and her eyes…

He had only caught a glimpse of her eyes before waking up. Maybe it was a reflection of the candlelight? No, his brain - though vast - wouldn't be that detailed in a dream, would it? Perhaps he was thinking way too much into this.

Ford removed the blanket and stood up to stretch, the sun rising behind him and seeping light into his cluttered bedroom. Yes, he often did dream of Bill, and so far nothing ever happened. It all boiled down to the fact that Ford was paranoid, scarred, and traumatized; and after the things he's seen and done, who could blame him? But he was not a boy who would run for confirmation that a dream was just that, an illusion cast by the mind. He was a man, a man determined to have a nice cup of coffee, walk with Mabel to her piano lesson, and have a great day.

Ford slipped on his trenchcoat and opened the door. He could hear birds from outside and when he looked out the window, he was so captivated by the beautiful sunrise that he didn't even notice the smoke rising up from town.

* * *

"N' don't choo forget the blankets, choo 'ear, ma'am? That boy's always cold every time I give 'em a hug."

"I got it, Grandma." Hephzibah said gently and showed her the knitted blanket her grandmother had made when she and Grandpa were newlyweds.

It was maroon and green with the family name Cece embroidered on it. Hephzibah had it folded and hugged it close to her body. She had a coat over her torso, a scarf around her neck, and a basket dangling from her arm. There was something about the holidays that helped Grandma's hallucinations; she looked up and down her granddaughter and nodded with a wrinkly smile.

"I 'pose that'll do." She kissed Hephzibah's cheek when the younger of the two bent down to receive one, and then added. "Make sure Sherlock comes over for Christmas Dinner, choo 'ear?"

"Yes, ma'am." Hephzibah said and walked away from the armchair her Grandma rested in and moved to the kitchen where her grandfather sat hidden behind a newspaper. She kissed his cheek and said, "Don't wait up for me."

"Ya have your sword?" Grandpa growled and looked up at the young woman he raised.

Hephzibah shifted the blanket so she held it one handed and patted the scabbard that dangled against her leg.

Grandpa nodded in approval and continued to read the newspaper.

The caretaker of the family called into the house, "Love y'all!" and was off into the snow.

Her family was too tight on money for a car, but Hephzibah did have a motorcycle. She was tempted to try to ride it into the woods, but the snow was falling down hard and she knew it wasn't worth the struggle. Spring would be back soon. Maybe Dumb-Dumb would like a ride.

She had dressed smart for the journey ahead and stuffed the blanket inside her coat to keep it dry. Hephzibah held the black scarf up to her eyes and walked strong and steady through the snow. A long thirty minutes passed and she finally saw the pyramid-like cabin in the woods. Her walk turned into a run and once she was on the porch she stomped her boots free of caked snow. Hephzibah knocked on the door with a smile and could hear someone run for the door.

Stanford opened it and gasped at his visitor. He was a man of many colors; today he wore a navy-blue sweater with a black dress shirt. "Hephzibah!" Stanford quickly assisted her in and closed the door to keep out the cold. "What were you thinking?! You could've obtained frostbite!" He fussed over her.

The young alchemist laughed as Stanford tried to help her out of her coat. She sat her basket down to free her arm and said, "Fordsie, ya really think Grandpa would've lemme go if I wasn't prepared?"

Stanford gently took the black coat off her arm and allowed Hephzibah to adjust her hold on a folded blanket so he could undo the next arm. The young scientist looked at his love-interest and saw that she was indeed tightly bundled and warm. She wore a jacket underneath her coat, as well as a gray sweater and an undershirt (of course, Ford had to assume since he couldn't see it). It also looked like she wore two pairs of jeans and underneath her rain boots she had on thick fluffy socks. Her black scarf and gloves helped to protect the rest of her dark skin, and so Stanford had to admit defeat and he sighed. "Well, at least sit by the fire for a few minutes." He insisted and walked her into the living room.

Hephzibah left behind her coat, jacket, sword and scabbard, and boots, and left her blanket and basket at the doorway of the crowded room. The living room was filled to the brim with books and papers, but they were all neatly organized and out of the way. Stanford pulled out a wooden chair from the kitchen and placed it in front of the wood-burning stove as it roared out warmth and comfort. Knowing he wouldn't relax until she obeyed, the young alchemist sat down and removed the gloves from her hands to warm them. Stanford got on one knee in front of her and felt Hephzibah's hands, checking to make sure that they weren't too cold. Hephzibah could feel her cheeks gain heat as Stanford rubbed his thumb tenderly over her tattoos.

"It looks like you got here just in time." He muttered, not looking up from his hold on her.

Hephzibah's lips curled into an impish smile. "Ya don't need an excuse to hold my hands, ya know."

Stanford looked disconcerted for a moment, but once he saw Hephzibah's smile he got the message. Bravery coursing through his veins, he kissed her hands without breaking eye contact and then got up to get some more wood for the fire.

Hephzibah smiled, her stomach recovering from the backflip it did when she was kissed, and stood up to removed her damp blue jeans. She found it a little easier to breath and get comfortable, and she removed the first layer of socks. She unwrapped her scarf and carried her extra items of clothing to the coatrack by the door to leave them hanging. Hephzibah sat back down in the chair to finish warming up just as Stanford came in with an arm full of wood from the kitchen. He opened the door and carefully placed some logs on the fire to keep it scorching. The iron door creaked when he closed it and he turned his attention to Hephzibah's basket that sat at the doorway of the living room.

"What's this?" Stanford asked; he went over and picked it up.

"Grandma's gift for ya." Hephzibah said, holding her hands up to the stove. "Open it."

Stanford placed the basket on the couch and did as he was told. Christmas movies like _Black Winter_ , _Miracle on 43rd Street_ , and _It's a Joyful Life_ were stacked on one side of the basket. Next to the movies were a pair of six-fingered knitted gloves, a bag of popcorn kernels, hot chocolate mix, jelly beans, pretzels, and a black mug that said "#1 Smart Guy" in white print.

Stanford smiled and picked up the six-fingered gloves, hand-knitted by Hephzibah's grandmother. He was well aware of her deteriorating mental health and was grateful that she took the time to make them. They were his favorite color (blue) and he slipped one on and flexed his hand; it fitted perfectly, and it actually matched the sweater he had on. He looked down at the fuzzy green blanket that cushioned the whole basket and used his un-gloved hand to feel it's texture. It was by far one of the softest things he owned.

"Oh! N' she wants ya to come over for Christmas Dinner." Hephzibah added as Stanford admired the gift. "N' ya better come hungry, 'cuz she's goin' all out this year."

"She didn't have to do all this." Stanford awed as he removed the glove and set it neatly back in the basket.

"Believe it or not, Dumb-Dumb," Hephzibah said sarcastically. "She really likes ya. Said she wants to make sure ya have a happy holiday."

Stanford smiled and looked back down at the VCR tapes. He picked up _Miracle on 43rd Street_ and said, "I haven't seen this movie in years. Would you like to watch it?"

"Sure." Hephzibah said and stood up to pop her back.

Stanford decided to also use the popcorn and went into the kitchen to pop some while Hephzibah sat up the movie. She paused the tape right before the movie started and unfolded the old red-and-green blanket. She sat on the orange couch with her legs up by her side and was soon joined by Stanford and a big bowl of salted popcorn.

Hephzibah started the movie and Stanford sat next to her with the bowl in between them. To keep him warm, Hephzibah laid the blanket across them both and then laid on Stanford's right side, staring at the black-and-white movie as she munched on some popcorn. Stanford found it very hard to focus on Santa claiming the reindeer were out of order with Hephzibah on his shoulder. Stanford found he was not nervous as he usually was, but pleasantly surprised. He moved his right arm and used it to hold her closer. Hephzibah smiled and let her left arm lay by his thigh.

For about two hours the couple watched the old movie and hardly said a word. The popcorn was soon gone and the bowl was placed on the floor. Stanford eventually got too hot and removed his navy-blue sweater. Hephzibah had rolled up the sleeves of her gray sweater. The two moved every once and awhile, trying different sitting positions. At one point Hephzibah stretched her legs over Stanford's lap; he once held her like a giant stuffed animal, her back against his right side; they also simply sat next to each other, hands entangled between their legs.

Once the movie was over they took to flicking through the limited channels Stanford had. The news reported another snow storm would come in two days. _S*M*A*S*H_ was on as well as _Happy Nights_ , and Stanford paused at a wrestling match and the two watched one sweaty guy flip over another sweaty guy.

"Oh, come on!" Stanford yelled. "You can clearly see that was hesitant! If the guy was really trying he could have broken his arm or dislocated his shoulder!"

Hephzibah looked up at her date and sneered. "Since when do ya critique wrestlin'?"

"I used to box as a kid." Stanford mentioned and watched the two men in tights fight. "It's not the same, but you look at these fights a little differently after a few lessons."

"Ya should try watchin' combat in movies when ya've mastered mixed martial arts n' fencin'. They don't even look like they're tryin' to win!"

"Agreed. Like, watch." Stanford said and pointed to the screen. One guy punched the other guy right in the jaw and the six-fingered genius said, "That left-hook wasn't even right! He needed to turn his fist properly in order to afflict that much damage!"

"Wanna give a demonstration?" Hephzibah challenged and stood up.

"Wait, what?!"

"C'mon," Hephzibah said as she slipped off her gray sweater to reveal a white tank-top. "Martial arts vs. boxing, the match of the century!"

Hephzibah threw her sweater playfully at Stanford's face and he pulled it off to see the woman smiling. He was hesitant to fight a lady and in shock that she took off her sweater, but he quickly reminded himself that she could take care of herself and that she was still appropriately dressed. Besides, it's not like they would be out for blood.

Stanford tossed the sweater aside and stood up, popping his knuckles and rotating his wrists. "Alright, missy. Let's see what you got."

Hephzibah stood so her legs were apart, knees were bent, and one palm was open by her chest and the other was towards her opponent. Stanford held his fists up and front so he could dodge an attack easily and protect his face, all while inflict his own pain.

"Ladies first." Stanford sneered.

Hephzibah launched herself forward and tried to kick him by the head, but Stanford was cool under fire and dodge under her leg, unaware of her grabbing his ankle and flipping him, making the young scientist groan and lay on his back.

The winner looked down on him and said, "Rematch?"

Stanford gave a sly smile, very impressed by her technique, and dodge a punch in the face by rolling over and then kicking Hephzibah's knee. She fell, too, and now Stanford was free to play his way. He pounced on Hephzibah and tried to pin her on the ground, paying close attention to how he grabbed her wrists in case he went too far. He noticed a weird smile on her face; her lips were pursed, as if trying to force back laughter. Stanford's grin manifested itself into a goofy smile and he too found a hard time keeping a serious look.

Hephzibah kneed Stanford in the gut just hard enough to make him ease up and she flipped them over so she was on top. Before Stanford even knew what happened, his wrists were pinned over his head and his date was on top of him. A few of her dreadlocks had escaped from her ponytail and she was catching her breath.

"Gotcha!" Hephzibah cheered. She was never one to take advantage of a fallen opponent, but she decided to make an exception. Hephzibah landed a quick kiss on Stanford's cheek as a prize for being such a good sport and then got off of him.

Stanford was frozen and stared at Hephzibah has she tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. His face was flushed and his mouth was open slightly. He had never received a kiss from her before.

"Wanna go again?" Hephzibah asked, breaking Stanford free from his trance.

He sat up and smiled. To give him more mobility, he unbuttoned his black poplin shirt and slipped it off so he only wore a black t-shirt. Hephzibah had found herself staring as he did so and noticed how strong his chest looked under the tight shirt. She tried to focus on kicking his butt and took a fighting stance.

Stanford stood up and made the first move. Hephzibah quickly got behind him as he tried to land a punch and carefully stood behind him, keeping her hands just hovering over his back and her feet moving swiftly to copy his every move. Seeing how he wasn't going to be able to attack her like this, Stanford quickly spun around and lifted Hephzibah by her ankles, making her dangle down back-to-back as the two laughed.

"Stanford!" Hephzibah howled with over-excitement. "That's cheatin'!"

"Says who?" He laughed.

Yells and a flash of blue light from outside in the snow made Stanford let go of Hephzibah and she fell head first onto the floor. He hurried to the door in case it was a monster, but found nothing, so he closed the door behind him and realized his mistake.

"Oh my gosh, Hephzibah!" Stan knelt down next to her as she rubbed the top of her head. He moved to touch her, but was nervous of causing her even more pain. "Are you okay? I'm so sorry! I thought I…"

Hephzibah sprung on him like an angry tiger and they rolled around on the carpeted floor some more, laughing and punching. By some miracle, Stanford managed to pin Hephzibah down and he found himself hovering over her, sweating slightly and panting for breath. Her hair was now completely undone and her dreadlocks laid untamed around her. Stanford had always admired her beautiful long hair. It was so unique and unlike anything he usually saw.

"Whatcha gonna do, Fordsie?" Hephzibah challenged, completely at his mercy.

Stanford smiled and decided to pay her back fully. He bent down carefully and kissed Hephzibah's cheek. When he lifted himself back up and looked at her, she was smiling with a mixture of the devil and an angel in her eyes. Stanford let go of one of her wrists and used his free six-fingered hand to brush a dreadlock off of her forehead. He quickly snuck a kiss on her forehead and then released her, sitting against the couch and running a hand through his matted brown hair.

Hephzibah sat next to him and worked on regaining control of her locks. "Not bad, Brainiac."

"You still owe me one more match." Stanford said cooly. "Winner takes all."

Hephzibah slapped her knees and stood up. "Bring it."

Stanford smiled and stood up. He didn't even get into a position and tried to punch Hephzibah, who swiftly moved out of the way and tried to attack, but he was too quick and pinned Hephzibah's arms behind her back like a cop making an arrest.

Hephzibah smiled and admitted, "Nice reflexes, sweetheart."

Stanford blushed and glanced away. "Well, I..."

Hephzibah stomped her foot and crushed Stanford's foot. He yelled and let go, giving Hephzibah the chance to grab his wrist and twist his arm. With a quick swing Stanford was pinned against the wall by the doorway with one hand holding his arm and the other on his shoulder.

"Men are so gullible." Hephzibah teased with a roll of her eyes. Stanford groaned in frustration as the right side of his face was pressed up against the wall. Hephzibah apologized with a kiss on his free cheek and let him go. Stanford rotated his stiff shoulder as she sat down on the couch and looked around for a clock. "Any idea what time it is?"

Stanford looked down at his silver watch and suddenly remembered something. He looked up at Hephzibah as she sat and waited for an answer. Stanford rubbed the back of his neck. "Uh, wait here. I have something for you."

He left for his bedroom and Hephzibah tried to think of what he wanted to give her. Hephzibah picked up her sweater and slipped back into it while she waited, and soon Stanford came back with a small box in his strong hands and handed it to her. It was decorated with baby-blue wrapping paper with snowflakes on it and a big dark-blue bow tied around it.

Hephzibah carefully undid the bow and peeled away the paper. Stanford watched her nervously, unsure if she would like the gift. They had only been on a few dates, but had known each other for five years. Gifts in the past had been things like candy, clothes, or gift cards. Simple things with no real sentimental value. This year Stanford wanted to do something special, but not too big in fear that he was overdoing it. He also didn't want to disappoint her. He felt like he was stuck between a rock and a hard place, and all he could do was wait for Hephzibah's response.

The box was small and velvet. Hephzibah opened the box and awed at a golden watch that sparkled and shined. It wasn't gold-paint or cheap plastic. The watch was a piece of art with swirls etched on the hands and little jewels on the tiny rim. Every detail was carefully placed for a reason; it was truly the nicest thing Hephzibah had ever held.

"Oh, wow." She breathed as she traced her fingers over the face of the tiny clock.

"Do you like it?"

Hephzibah looked up at him and saw that he resembled a child that had given a drawing to his mother, anxiously waiting for praise and love. She was only too happy to give it to him. "Course I do! I love it! Thank you!" Hephzibah shakily took it out of the box and felt the golden chain that dangled by the face of the watch. It was gold, too, and yet so soft and well polished. More engravings of swirls decorated the chain.

Ford chuckled and said, "Check the back."

Hephzibah did so and was blown away to find more engravings on the back of the face. Hidden from view, "Ford Pines + Hephzie Cece" had been carved in such beautiful cursive writing. "It's beautiful." Hephzibah said quietly. Usually her voice dripped with a quick wit, sarcasm, or just a cut-and-dried tone. She was a sharp woman, but her voice was now soft as silk and even seemed a little weak. She carefully balanced the watch on her left wrist and tried to click the chain together, but her fingers were trembling and she was struggling.

Stanford smiled and sat closely next to her. "May I?"

Hephzibah gave him her hand and he gently closed and tightened the chain so the watch would not bounce or ache her wrist. She had always been charmed by Stanford's hands. It was not his rare extra finger that intrigued her, but how strong yet gentle they were. He was always writing or building something. Stanford worked hard and it showed in his hands. Yes, they were often cold, but recently they seemed to be getting warmer.

Stanford selfishly kept her left hand in between his, and so Hephzibah placed her right hand on his chin and kissed his cheek once more. That was another thing. His skin was always soft, and his cleft chin was firm. Stanford was strong in his own right, and she saw that and admired it.

The kiss was not a light peck, but a longer peaceful moment. Ford was still under her touch. Her lips were soft and warm, her hand was gentle and also stern. He didn't want her to ever stop, but all good things must come to an end. When Hephzibah had removed her lips, she rested her head onto his shoulder.

"Thank you so much."

That was all Stanford needed to die a happy man. He felt a lion roaring triumphantly in his chest. His emotions were cheering and high-sixing in his mind. He could have sworn fireworks were exploding behind him.

Stanford glanced down at the beautiful woman pressed up against his chest and he placed one hand on her shoulder, keeping her close as he kissed the top of her head. Her hair smelled of blossoms and was even softer than it looked. He rested his chin gently there to enjoy it's texture. "I'm so glad you liked it. I knew it would match your bracelets."

Hephzibah glanced down at her gold watch and wished she had worn her jewelry, but her Grandpa had instructed her not to wear metal in the cold. "You're right. I noticed yours is silver. Nice touch."

Stanford looked down at his own watch. It had been an eighteenth birthday present from his pop and was still in great condition. A bit dull from overuse, but still used on a daily basis. His smile had faded at remembering his birthday and his family, but it returned when he looked down at his date to see her smiling peacefully as she laid on his chest.

Hephzibah graciously allowed Stanford to lay down on the couch and prop his legs up; Hephzibah laid on his left side, sandwiched between him and the back of the couch, her watched-hand over his heart. She found peace in feeling his strong chest rise and fall underneath her touch. Stanford covered her hand with his right and closed his eyes.

"Any reason you often wear gold?" He asked quietly.

"Not really. Grandma gave me my earrings as a going-away present when I moved in with my mom n' I always kept 'em, so I sorta built up on that. Any reason for silver?"

"I think Ma talked Pa into it because it matches my glasses."

"I like your glasses. How long have you had 'em?"

"Since I was old enough to wear them."

The pointless conversation carried on, trudging past the growing yawns and tiredness. It was unclear who fell asleep first, but no one cared, happy to keep each other warm as snow barricaded the mysterious cabin in the woods.


	8. Gsvb Zjv Rn Wzntvj

Stan took his spot in the old armchair and turned on the TV as the caffeine started to take its effect. After a commercial about the watermelon juicer, the juicer only for watermelons, the news started just as Ford sat at the card-table with a mug of coffee and a book to read.

 _"_ _This just in: Gravity Falls' only piano store, Pianos for People, has been burned down."_ Sandra Jimenez reported as the opening for the day.

Ford gasped so badly that he breathed in some hot coffee and choked while also burning his throat. Stan went to him and used the incident as an excuse to smack him hard just below his neck.

"Wait, what?!" Mabel asked as she and her brother walked in and stared at the screen.

 _"_ _GFFD arrived early this morning at 4:45 and were able to contain the fire and prevent it from spreading, but at the cost of the indebted piano store."_

Footage of the tragic event was showcased on the screen as the box-shaped building was now nothing but rubble. What was most disturbing was that when most buildings caught on fire they were often left standing, even if it was only a single wall or a sad frame; nothing was left standing of Pianos for People. It was all gone.

"Oh, no." Ford mumbled, holding his head.

Stan patted his shoulder as the report went on.

 _"_ _So far there are no leads as to what caused the fire. Investigators have deemed the case unsolvable and are now left to clean up the land for renovation."_

"Now hold on a minute!" Ford yelled at the TV screen. "That's still Hephzibah's property! She would never…"

 _"_ _The property was sold to the city in order to pay off the last of the store's debts, leaving everyone to wonder what will be brought into the town. In other news…"_

"Wait!" Ford hollered, standing up and pointing at the TV. "What about Hephzibah?!"

"What about Everest?!" Mabel panicked.

"She must be fine since they didn't report it." Stan thought out-loud to try to ease everyone's minds.

"But what started that fire?" Dipper asked. "Are they seriously going to leave the case unsolved?"

"I don't know, but I have to find Hephzibah!" Ford left the room and went for the door, grabbing his trenchcoat from it's hook and pulling it on.

"I'll go with you!" Mabel volunteered.

"And I'll take a look at the site." Dipper said. "Maybe I can figure out what caused the fire before they start building."

"And I'll… stay here." Stan said as he took his seat back happily and changed the channel to _My Weird Likes_ as a woman was reported to have an obsession with possums, having so much as thirty in her house.

"Let's move!" Ford instructed and ran out the door with the teenagers behind him.

They both ran for town, but separated as Dipper headed for the downtown area and Ford and Mabel ran for the local hospital. The hospital was located on the opposite side of town, just barely in the woods, built perfectly so if an accident happened in the forest people could be treated quickly.

Mabel and Ford hurried to the front desk and he said to the trainee behind the counter, "Greetings, is Hephzibah Cece here?"

"Which department would she be in, sir?"

"I don't know!" Ford said in a raised voice. "Her entire home had been burned down and…"

"If the authorities had been called, I'll check the E.R." She said calmly and checked her computer. "What are your relations to the patient?"

"We're her friends!" Mabel said in a trembling voice. Ford looked down at her to find tears in her eyes. "Please, we just need to know if she's okay!"

The young nurse-in-training smile sympathetically and resumed her search. "I'm sorry, there's no record of her in the E.R."

Ford wasn't sure if he could relax or not. Hephzie wasn't in the E.R., but where was she? "Any chance you can check if she has checked in at all?"

"When would she have checked in?"

"No sooner than 4:45am."

The woman pulled out files and started to check online records as well. Ford's eyes darted left and right to try to follow her. Mabel bit her bottom lip nervously. "I'm sorry, she must not have checked in. I have no records of her coming in this morning."

Ford sighed. "Thank you." He started towards the entrance and tried to think of where else his friend could be, when he noticed that Mabel was not with him.

Ford looked around the lobby for a moment and found her still at the counter, her head low as she hung onto her purple sweater and tried not to cry. Ford had been so worried about Hephzie that he didn't even think of how scared Mabel must be, running around looking for someone who may or may not be okay.

Ford went to her and got on one knee to be eye-level with his great-niece. "Mabel, sweetie, it's alright. We'll find her." He soothed.

"I just hope she and Everest are okay." Mabel whimpered.

"They'll be fine." Ford tried to assure her (and himself). "Trust me, I know her. It'll take a lot more than a fire to bring her down."

Mabel looked up at her Grunke Ford to try to see a lie or uneasiness, but he had a kind smile that seemed hopeful. She tightly shut her eyes and allowed some of her tears to roll down her cheeks. Ford pulled her into a warm hug and let her silently cry for a minute into his shoulder. Mabel's breaths were uneven and light, too busy crying to focus on circuling oxygen throughout her body. Grunkle Ford petted her soft brown hair and waited for her to calm down. Soon she was able to reduce herself to sniffs and she let go to wipe her face dry.

"Better?" Ford asked, softly putting a hand on one of her cheeks and rubbing a tear-streak away with his thumb.

Mabel nodded with a weak smile and said, "You're right, Grunkle Ford. I mean, she killed a dino! She's so cool and strong I bet she could survive anything!"

Ford smiled and picked her up to ride on his shoulders. "You don't even know the half of it, my dear." He walked them out of the hospital and began to tell stories of their adventures while Mabel played with his hair affectionately. "There was this one time where we had ventured out to a lake at the top of the mountain. I met a siren and we actually had a few dates. I brought her dinner, she brought her flute and played music. Hephzibah even encouraged it and gave me dating tips!" He laughed. "But then it turned out I was a human sacrifice for a huge creature the siren served, and just before the monster could eat me whole, Hephzibah stabbed it right in the eye and dragged me away from the siren's magical song."

"Wow!" Mabel awed.

The tales went on as Ford walked them out of town and into the woods. Back in his day, if Hephzie wasn't at the store, she was out exploring, resorting him to roaming around aimlessly and hoping he'd find her so they could search for a creature for investigate a scene together. Ford decided to test their luck and traveled down the dirt roads in the woods, all the while filling the air with his stories to sooth Mabel.

Half an hour into searching for Hephzie and Mabel spotted a figure hanging upside down from a tree. She pointed to it and said, "Grunkle Ford, look!"

Ford turned his attention to whatever Mabel saw and identified the silhouette as Hephzie; she had been prone as a young adult to hang from trees, so this didn't surprise Ford. He put Mabel down and together they ran off the path and up to the thick oak tree in which Hephzie hung from. She had allowed herself to dangle from a branch, her legs tightly around it and her hair down. Her eyes were closed as if in deep thought, and taking a nap at the base of the tree was Everest.

The big dog perked up and ran to Mabel, knocking her off her feet and licking her face, dribbling drool all over her. "Everest!" She laughed, scratching his head and trying to keep him from licking her mouth.

"Everest, down boy!" Hephzie said firmly and the Saint Bernard sat calmly by Mabel's side so she could pet him, making his fluffy tail fly against the grass. "What brings y'all out here?" Hephzie asked her friends.

Mabel looked up at her with a saddened expression on her face. "We heard about your home. We wanted to make sure you were okay."

Hephzie's soft smile disappeared and she looked over to the side. "Yeah, I'm okay. We managed to escape n' a few claps later we were both perfectly fine."

"Why are you hanging from a tree?" Mabel asked to try to steer the conversation away from the darkness.

Hephzie smiled at the girl and said, "It helps me think. I've got a lot on my mind right now. Wanna try, sweetheart?"

"Yeah!" Mabel said and started to climb the tree. She went up to the branch Hephzie hung from and held on tightly with her legs, hanging upside down next to the old woman and giggling as blood started to rush to her head.

Ford felt Everest nudge him, wanting attention since Mabel was busy, so the genius knelt down and scratched Everest's chin as he spoke to Hephzie. "Is it true you sold your property?"

Hephzie nodded seriously. "I don't have the money to rebuild."

"What about insurance?"

"Well, even after I used the city's money I still had a good chunk of debt to pay off, so I paid off the rest with the insurance money. I have just enough to keep me going for a few weeks." Hephzie explained solemnly.

"What will you do now?" Mabel asked, concerned for her friend; her head was starting to spin.

Hephzie shrugged. "I'll pick up some jobs in town n' see if I can scrap enough to get an apartment. Gravity Falls doesn't have a huge market, but I'll find somethang."

Ford frowned and looked down at Everest as he licked his fingers. He saw right through her coolness and knew that Hephzie was stressed beyond acknowledgement. With no home, no money, and no steady income she was at her wits end. Ford had an idea, but he was hesitant to suggest it.

Mabe suddenly gasped in excitement and sat up right on the branch, unable to take the dizziness anymore. She held her head before announcing her brilliant idea. "What if you moved in with us?!"

Ford looked up at the big-hearted girl and smiled. She must have telepathy.

Hephzie chuckled and said, "That's sweet, sister, but I can't do that…"

"Why not?!" Mabel said with a huge grin. "We've got plenty of room! It'll be fun, like a forever-sleepover!"

"No, I really…"

"Hephzibah, I can honestly assure you that we would be honored to have you and Everest in our home." Ford said flatly as he stood up.

It was hard to read his expression when upside-down, but Hephzie could see the kindness in his smile and the longing for her to say yes. Ford had a similar look when he asked her out on their first date. Hephzie sighed and swung up, did a backflip, and landed right in front of Ford. She popped her back and said, "Well when ya put it like that…"

Mabel squealed with delight and nearly fell out of the tree before regaining balance and quickly climbing down. Everest ran to her for some more affection and she happily petted and scratched him as the little group walked through the woods to the nearest path, talking of their plans for the future.

* * *

The band King played through the speakers, but only a few people were listening. Hephzibah and Stanford each had a basket for their things as they talked and picked up some items they needed. Stanford was in the middle of explaining his Grand Unified Theory of Weirdness when Hephzibah picked some dry coffee creamer.

"Think about it, this town is filled to the brim with things that are odd and unusual. In college I mapped out all of the anomalies in America, and Gravity Falls has a much higher consistency than anywhere else, possibly even the whole world!"

"N' ya really think this law is why Gravity Falls is so weird?" Hephzibah asked as she put the creamer in her basket and walked down with Stanford to the next aisle.

"I do." Stanford said with a nod and glanced down at his shopping list. "I just need to find a way to prove it. This law surpasses our own dimension."

"What, like the spacecraft by the Floatin' Cliff?"

"Yes. It may very well have come from an alternate dimension, along with every other weird thing in Gravity Falls. If this is true, my theory will be confirmed, but to prove that other dimensions exist… it's easier said than done."

"You'll figure somethang out." Hephzibah said carelessly as she too chose a loaf of bread. "Ya always do."

Stanford was touched by her confidence and studied her as she checked for any squished slices of bread. Hephzibah had chosen to wear a leather jacket over her white button-up today since she had driven them to the edge of the town on her motorcycle. Stanford had to admit that he was skeptical at first about riding when they first met, but he enjoyed it a lot and looked forward to their trips. The jacket was tight on Hephzibah's arms and chest, and fitted her figure quite well. Her tattoos, her hair and bandanna, her dark skin, her smile, and her loyalty and compassion for Stanford all made her the most beautiful woman in the world to him.

Hephzibah looked up at Stanford and smiled at his staring. "What?"

"Do I ever tell you that you're beautiful?" Stanford asked seriously, knowing that he doesn't say it enough.

"Maybe not with words, but that look on your face does it for ya." Hephzibah teased and walked with him towards the exit for checkout.

"I'll have to work on that." Stanford said firmly and continued to admire her.

Hephzibah's cheeks grew hot and so she busied herself with her items to make sure she had everything. Eggs, sugar, milk, pasta, ground beef, tomatoes, broccoli, potatoes, and a few more items her small family needed. She slapped her forehead and gasped, "Aw, dang it! I almost forgot their prescriptions!"

"I'll hold your place in line." Stanford offered.

"Thanks, sweetheart." Hephzibah said and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before running for the other side of the supermarket. Even after dating for half-a-year, her kisses still made Stanford's gut squirm.

Hephzibah was gone long enough for a man in front of Stanford to pay for his things and for a ginger woman to start ringing up his things. It wasn't a lot and she took the time to make pleasant small talk with Stanford. He smiled and happily talked with her about the weather, plans for the weekend, the usual tedious discussion topics. Hephzibah made it back just as Stanford pulled out his checkbook and started to fill out a check.

"Thanks."

"Of course." Stanford said and gave the woman running the register his check.

The ginger hardly glanced at the check, accepted it with a huge grin and bid Stanford a good day, He took a couple steps to the side to wait for Hephzibah and she placed about double the items Ford did on the counter. The ginger started to scan her items, but made no effort to make small talk with Hephzibah. Stanford was writing down his bill when he glanced up and noticed this. Hephzibah didn't seemed bothered and started to fish around her leather jacket for her method of payment. Stanford was not the kind of man to be nitpicking about such things, but the cashier didn't even say hello.

She gave Hephzibah her total and the young alchemist pulled out a checkbook and filled out the info she needed. She handed over the check with a small smile and the ginger took it and read it carefully.

"I'm gonna need to see two pieces of ID." She said.

Stanford looked at Hephzibah and waited for her to refuse and say no (she was never one to allow social injustice to occur), but she pulled out her wallet for what the employee wanted. Stanford was surprised and it must have shown on his face, for when Hephzibah glanced over at him, she shrugged and gave a small smile that said, "Whatcha gonna do?"

The cashier then pulled out a black book full of bad checks and starts to search for Hephzibah's driver's licence. Stanford knew what was happening and saw red. He looked again at Hephzibah and expected her to say or do something, but she only wore a stone-cold expression and waited for the woman to finish.

Stanford had enough and walked back up to the register. "Excuse me, ma'am," He said politely and she paused to give him her full attention. "Why are you going through all of this for a check?"

"Oh, it's our policy, sir." The cashier said kindly.

"But why didn't you do that with me?" Stanford asked.

Hephzibah looked at both Stanford and the woman. Her friend was clearly very upset and she hoped he would control his anger and not get them kicked out of the store.

The cashier looked startled and quickly waved her hand. "Oh! Well, I know you, sir!" She tried to say cherry, but Stanford cut her off.

"No, I've only been coming here for a few months, meanwhile my girlfriend has been coming here for years." He said firmly.

Hephzibah's eyes darted behind her to a few customers behind her. A mom with a little girl and a baby boy, and two elder men, heard the whole conversation and she waited for their reaction. The men spoke to one another about how unfair the cashier was being and the mother shook her head at the ginger with an ugly scowl.

The manager came over and asked Stanford, "Is there a problem here, sir?"

"Yes, sir, there is." He said professionally and told the boss what had happened calmly, meanwhile the cashier looked down at her feet in humiliation.

Hephzibah - the loud one of the two, the one to yell at people who stared, the one to punch a bully in the jaw - was silent the whole time, letting Stanford handle the situation. The manager ordered the cashier to go wait in his office and so he finished takes care of the whole mess and apologized abruptly to the two. While the manager accepted Hepzibah's check, Stanford took her hand and gave it a light squeeze. Hephzibah smiled and looked up at the manager.

"I am so sorry, Miss Cece." He said and handed her a receipt and a coupon book. "I hope you have a wonderful day."

"Thanks, sir." She said with a small smile and gathered her things. Stanford gave her a hand with her thing and together they walked out the door.

He proudly opened the door for Hephzibah and followed her to the motorcycle. As they put their bags in the little compartment under the seat, Stanford looked at her to find her deep in thought.

"Hey," He said gently and put a soft hand on her shoulder. "Don't let her get to you."

Hephzibah looked at him and shook her head. "I won't. I'm used to it. I really don't care."

Stanford's smile dropped as she slipped on her helmet and buckled it. He knew what it was like to be degraded because of how he looked, but what Hephzibah sometimes went through was worse than being picked on for having six fingers on each hand.

Stanford wanted to talk to Hephzibah about it, because it clearly bothered her, but he didn't want to touch a nerve. Hephzibah gave him his helmet and saw the wheels turning in his head. She was tempted to bring it up, but she wanted to let it go.

"But you do care." Stanford pointed out as he put on his helmet.

"I'm not concerned with how people treat me, Dumb-Dumb." Hephzibah said as she zipped up her jacket and got on her bike. "I'm more concerned about ya."

"Me?" Stanford asked as he sat behind her and hugged her around the waist.

"Ya have a habit of playin' with fire." Hephzibah started to explain as she put her key in the ignition and the motorcycle roared to life. "I don't wanna see ya get burned."

Stanford tried to decode his girlfriend's message and said as she drove them out of the parking lot, "It was no big deal; she shouldn't have done that. It wasn't fair. Anyone else would have stood up for you."

"Would they? It's happened before n' most people just look away. It's not their problem. Why should it be yours?"

Stanford was unhinged by Hephzibah's bland tone and how natural this was for her. It startled him and he quickly responded over the engine with, "It is my problem. You really expect me to just stand by and let it happen?"

"No, I expect ya to pick your battles wisely before ya get jumped for datin' me." Hephzibah snapped at him and stopped at a stop-sign to look back at him.

Her eyes were sharp and she looked like a warrior in the middle of a battlefield. It finally dawned on Stanford why she was suspicious and weary of what just happened.

 _"_ _No, I've only been coming here for a few months, meanwhile my girlfriend has been coming here for years."_

His girlfriend. Stanford had never said it outloud before, and had been hesitant to do so before in case she didn't see him as her boyfriend, but courage had swelled in him and he took the opportunity to proudly declare that Hephzibah was his. What had completely bypassed him were the risks of being open about their relationship. He was well aware that if someone like them had been dating when he was a kid, they might have been arrested.

"What if I don't care?" Stanford said firmly.

"I care!" Hephzibah said and looked away from him to drive down the street. "I've seen what happens to people like us. I grew up with Grandpa warnin' me about who I played with or talked to. Why do you think he raised me to be able to protect myself? The law might say it's okay, but that's only a piece of paper, Fordsie. We've been pushin' the boundaries n' I don't want to see ya get hurt because ya crossed a line."

"Hephzibah, nothing's going to happen to me!" Stanford tried to assure her. "I can take care of myself."

"I know that, but what about your grants for your research? What about your chances to deliver speeches to colleges all over the country? Ya honestly think people won't hesitate to give ya a shot when they see who ya hang around with?" Hephzibah asked deadly serious.

Stanford thought about it and knew that she was right. There was a lot of risk involved in the future. If things ever got to the point where they decided to get married and have a family there would be social issues and complications they'd have to work out. They may not have to be afraid of being murdered, but it wouldn't be easy.

"And you really think that'll stop me from seeing you?" Stanford asked, tightening his hold on Hephzibah.

"No. N' I don't want ya to." She said clearly and they stopped at a red-light, giving her a chance to look him in the eye. "I just need ya to know what you're signin' up for, Stanford."

"I know the risks." He said and kissed her with a gentle hand on her chin, well aware that most of the cars around them had their windows rolled down to enjoy the nice spring day. He ended the kiss and added, "I've always taken the road less traveled, and I'm not going to stop now."

Hephzibah blinked with surprise, then she smiled and turned to watch the light. She and Stanford perked up when they heard a woman their age awe at them and then turn to her husband. They were sitting in a blue convertible with the roof down on the cycle's left side. The woman had long blonde hair and her husband had brown hair pulled back into a low ponytail.

"See?! Why can't we be more like them?!"

"This again…" The man said as he lowered his sunglasses.

"Going to a bar is NOT romantic, Danny!"

"I beg to differ!" Hephzibah called over. "Have ya ever seen your man beat every guy at arm wrestling?"

"See?! She gets it! Thanks, sister!" Danny yelled.

"Leave 'em out of this!" The woman snapped. "Ya didn't even wanna go shoppin' with me yesterday!"

"It borin'!"

Stanford and Hephzibah laughed at the couple's playful bickering and when the light turned green the car turned left and the motorcycle drove forward. The crowded road turned into a highway as the outer part of Gravity Falls turned into the woods, to later turn into the heart of the strange town. Hephzibah sped up and Stanford held on tightly, cheering her on. She laughed and they traveled down the road less traveled for home.

Stan unbuttoned his collar and untied his tie to relax after a long day of showing guilbe tourist the mysteries of the Mystery Shack. He could hear some yelling from the hall and he rubbed his hands together maliciously; Dipper and Mabel were probably fighting over something stupid and the great-uncle wanted a front row seat of the action. As Stan went closer to the brawl, he recognized the voices as, not Dipper and Mabel, but as Ford and Hephzie.

"... hardly sleep as it is! I'm not takin' your room!"

"I always sleep in my lab, anyways! It's either you take it or it stays empty!"

"Look, it's bad enough I'm takin' up space, I'm not takin' your room, too! Period!"

"Why do you have to be so difficult?!"

"I'M difficult?!"

Stan grinned as he listened to the old pair bicker over who would take Ford's room. He could see his brother inviting Hephzie to stay at the shack from a mile away, so it was no surprise to hear about sleeping arrangements. An evil part of him wanted to yell at them to simply share the room, but the thought of two deadly old people chasing him was less than ideal. Maybe if he wasn't so tired he'd take his chances.

Stan listened a little bit more until he got bored and then went into the kitchen to start on dinner. "Great, gotta cook for five now." He grunted to himself.

As he got to work on Taco Tuesday he could still hear Hephzie and Poindexter yell from the bedroom. It was weird seeing his brother with a girl, whether or not they were together. He can remember Ford not only being rejected by every girl he asked out, but being utterly confused by them. Stan didn't exactly have a new girl in his arms every week, but he did have a girlfriend or two during their last few years of school, apart from Hotpants McCorkle. Stan did give his brother a tip or two, but it was all for not and only ended up getting Ford splashed with punch.

Though he would never say it outloud, Stan was glad to see someone - at least - give Sixer a chance. When Ford graduated high school, Stan was in Pennsylvania trying to sale the Rip-Off and didn't even try to come to the ceremony, but he later heard that their father had given Ford a brand new suit to wear on his wedding day. Ford had packed it away and intended to use it for accepting an award. Stan had used it for years as Mr. Mystery, but he was now curious if the old man's plans for it would go through.

The yells quieted down and Stan grinned to himself as he stirred the ground beef in the pan. Knowing Ford, he probably either gave in or hastily changed the subject. Stan didn't know Hephzie too well, but from what he knew about her, she probably fought on, bringing the man to his knees, or resorted to the dreaded silent treatment. Stan heard the door open and Dipper walked past the kitchen for the stairs to the attic.

"Hey, kiddo." Stan called after the teenager, who had rereading his notes and droting more down. "Any luck?"

"No," Dipper sighed and walked into the kitchen. "I don't get it. I know fire has a way of destroying evidence, but it can usually be traced back to its source. I checked all over the place for a starting point, I even checked for a match or a lighter in case it was sabotage, but it was all for nothing." Dipper sat at the table and prompted his head up with a fist to his cheek. "Man, I really let Hephzie down."

"C'mon, kid." Stan said as he pulled out a head of lettuce from the fridge. "No one expected you to crack this case. Even Sherlock had to throw in the towel every once n' awhile."

"But what'll happen to Hephzie?"

"See for yourself." Stan suggested as started to chop up the lettuce and he jabbed a thumb over his shoulder.

Dipper listened and heard a smack, a bang of metal, and the yelling started up again. He couldn't quite pick up on what they were saying, but Dipper told tell that Grunkle Ford had been smacked over the head and was arguing with Hephzie about something. Dipper smiled. "Thanks, Grunkle Stan."

"Don't mention it. Now go tell 'em dinner's almost ready."

"No thanks." Dipper laughed and went upstairs to tell his twin sister that it was time to eat.


	9. eyE enO htiW tsaeB ehT raeF

It looked like Hephzie was going to win the fight of who would sleep in Ford's bedroom (which had continued over the dinner table) by making Ford feel guilty for making Hephzie feel guilty, until it started to thunderstorm outside and the idea of her sleeping on the couch on the porch was out of the question.

Ford grinned with his arms crossed over his chest and muttered, "I win."

Hephzie's deadly glare kept him from boasting further and the discussion was over.

Stan laughed at his brother and said to Hephzie, "You'll have to teach me how to shut him up like that."

Hephzie winked at him and got up to help to do the dishes. Stan waved a hand and barked that she'd probably suck at it and didn't need to try, so she retaliated by smacking him upside the head and challenging him. The old conman accepted and got up to clean better than Hephzie. Ford laughed into his glass of water and smiled at his brother and best friend as they were getting to know each other. He knew they would get along; even back in their early adulthood, he had the feeling that if they ever met they would become fast friends. Always up for a challenge, tough as nails, and full of street-smarts. Dipper and Mabel laughed at the old people elbowing each other for dishes to clean, and Ford got an idea. He carefully got up and slipped away. His back to his family, he went into the gift shop and opened the hidden door with his electric watch.

His trenchcoat flapped around his heels as he walked down the stairs and went to the third floor. Having only been back for a little over a month, Ford hadn't changed much in the lab since leaving with Stan on the Stan O' War II. The walls of buttons, switches, and storage facilities still remained the same. The only big change was that the testing room that previously held the portal now held the beginnings of many different projects, but Ford did not enter that room.

Instead, he sat at his desk and flicked on a lamp, illuminating the space and casting a glare over a photo he had of himself, Stan, Dipper and Mabel at the younger twins' thirteenth birthday party. Ford pulled out a roll of blueprint and started to work on his latest idea, inspiration kicking in and refusing to go away. He knew that ideas that tickled and nagged should never be ignored.

After sitting to watch The Black and White Period-Piece Old Lady Boring Movie channel with Stan well into the night, Hephzie finally went to bed. She felt out-of-place and awkward being in the Shack, especially without Ford, so she had distracted herself by trying to get to know his family. Now that she was alone in Ford's room she felt weirder than ever.

Books and papers were scattered throughout the room, piled on the desk, the nightstand and shelves, even some on the foot of the couch. Everest followed her from the living room to the bedroom and hopped on the couch. A stack of blankets and a pillow were waiting for them, so Hephzie started to make up a bed on the couch. Everest quickly fell asleep and Hephzie stripped off her button-up shirt and boots before crawling in. Her dog moved so he laid on her chest and waited for her to pet his head so he could fall back asleep.

Hephzie did so, let her dreadlocks down, and closed her eyes, taking in deep breaths to calm down for the night. The couch smelled vaguely of Ford. She knew he was lying when he said he never slept in here anymore. Her stomach squirmed with guilt and she swallowed to try to focus on sleep. Hephzie knew that if she didn't clear her head she was doomed to think of him again.

* * *

Ford had fallen asleep on the desk again and sat up too quickly. His neck ached and he rubbed it tenderly, his heart racing and sweat coating his hair. He looked up at the ceiling and listened, but heard nothing. Anxiety coursing through his veins, Ford got up and decided to check the house. He went up the stairs and closed the vending machine behind him before walking down the hall for his bedroom. He carefully opened the door so it wouldn't wake anyone and peeked inside.

Hephzie was lying on her back on the couch, eyes peacefully closed, with the big Saint Bernard on her chest protectively. He perked up as Ford entered the room silently and the six-fingered human quickly scratched his chin to keep him from getting up and waking the old alchemist.

Ford looked down at her and smiled at how she slept. He glanced at her chest to see it rising and dropping steadily. Good. She was still alive. Ford pinched the bridge of his nose for being so childish. Of course it was only a dream. Still, as he closed his eyes, the sight of her bloody body in his arms haunted his mind, and his eyes snapped open to see her alive and well once more.

He slowly grabbed the stool from his desk and moved it by Hephzie's head to sit next to her sleeping form. He would leave her alone soon, but he needed to see that she was safe. Everest did not move, but watched Ford carefully. He did not see the man as a threat, but he didn't want his master to be disturbed. Ford had never owned a pet in his life (did Shifty count?), but he enjoyed Waddles' company and knew he would like having Everest around, too. He leaned forward and petted the dog's head so he would lay down and go back to sleep.

Everest relaxed in Ford's hold and laid back down on Hephzie. Ford smiled at how peaceful they both looked. A part of him desperately wanted to be a part of it; but he knew better, and now that he had confirmation that they were both alright, he had to get back to work.

* * *

Stan opened his bedroom door as his back ached tremendously. He shuffled down the hall for the kitchen and pasted Ford's bedroom door. He was almost out of the hall when it opened behind him.

"Mornin'." Hephzie yawned.

"Ya drink coffee?" Stan grunted.

"Like my life depends on it."

The kitchen was already taken and the two old people stared at seeing Dipper and Mabel dance around wildly to iDisco Girl/i as it played on the radio. Grunkle Stan groaned in misery; it was too early in the morning for this. Hephzie, however, grinned from ear-to-ear and jumped into the dance.

"Disco girl!" She sang along with the kids. "Coming through! That girl is you!" And she pointed to Mabel.

"You know this song?" Dipper asked over the music.

"Are you kiddin'? It's one of my favorites! It's even in my favorite musical!"

Dipper gasped and said, "I love that movie!"

"I thought I was the only one!" Hephzie said happily and took the boy's hands to dance with him. He laughed and when the chorus came up again they all sang to the top of their lungs.

Stan shuffled over to the coffee pot and started to brew some while his brother walked in and sat at the table. Ford sleepily watched his best friend dance with his family and smiled when Hephzie scooped up Mabel and spun her around, making her giggle uncontrollably. It was nice to see her getting along with his family. Ford found he could not spend all day with them, however, and he snuck off downstairs after breakfast. He quickly got to work and that old excitement for new projects returned.

While Ford worked on his experiments in his lab and Stan played Mr. Mystery so Soos could clean the gutters, Wendy walked up for work and found a big Saint Bernard dog laying in the sun by the door to the gift shop. The dog perked up and ran to Wendy, who happily accepted his licks and scratched his back and head.

"Hey, there! You lost, boy?" She laughed and checked his red collar. The silver tag read "Everest" on one side and "Hephzie Cece" on the other side, along with a phone number.

Wendy knew who Hephzibah Cece was - she had received piano lessons from her when she was a little girl - and had heard about Pianos for People being burned yesterday. She had covered for the Pines family in the gift shop, and she and Soos quietly speculated on what was going on with them. The red-head was as sharp as a knife, and when she saw a ladder leading up to her old work buddy, she walked to it with Everest at her feet and called up to Soos. "Yo!"

"Sup, dude?" Soos called back as he brushed leaves and junk out of the gutters.

"What's the deal with Everest, man?" Wendy asked.

"Oh, yeah!" Soos said happily and paused his work to look down at her. "Apparently she moved in with the Pines family! Crazy, right?"

"Didn't she and Stan 2 use to date?"

"Sure did! Mabel's been tryin' to get 'em back together!" Soos informed the lumberjack's daughter.

Wendy laughed, knowing how pushy Ms. Matchmaker could be, and pitied the old scientist. "I better get invited to the wedding!" She joked and started for the door.

"I know, right?!" Soos laughed as he went back to work. "Maybe I'll get to do the ceremony!"

Wendy rolled her eyes and clocked in for her shift. The gift shop was empty so she grabbed a magazine and started to read. She didn't even notice Mabel walking in and opening the hidden door by the vending machine.

She had two plates for lunch, each with a heart-shaped ham sandwich, carrot sticks, and potato chips. Knowing her uncle might forget to eat, Mabel decided to bring him some lunch and check up on him; he had been spending a lot more time in his lab since Hephzie moved in. Thinking it was to avoid her, Mabel decided to talk to Ford and boost his confidence.

She carefully entered the password for the elevator and went down to the third floor. The door opened and Mabel could hear Grunkle Ford working in the room where the portal used to be. Frowning, she carefully walked by the storage and buttons on the wall and peeked inside the work room. Ford had a metal mask over his face and was using a blowtorch to shape some metal. By his feet were some blueprints and in front of him was what looked like the early stages of a motorcycle.

"Grunkle Ford," Mabel called softly to avoid scaring the old man. He paused his work and lifted his mask. "What are you working on?"

Ford rubbed the back of his neck and sat the mask down. "Well, I had a sudden rush of inspiration, and…"

Mabel walked over and gave Grunkle Ford his lunch, then carefully looked at his newest invention and gasped with wide eyes. "You're building a motorcycle?! I didn't know you wanted to ride a bike!"

"It's not for me, sweetie." Ford said as he sat cross-legged in front of his work and peeled off his special six-fingered gloves so he could eat. "It's for Hephzibah."

Mabel grinned with stars shining in her eyes and sat next to her uncle to eat. "Aw, Grunkle Ford! She'll love it!"

"You really think so?" Ford said and picked up his blueprints to double-check that they were correct. "She used to love her motorcycle. I just hope I can meet her expectations."

"If you made anything for her, she'd love it!" Mabel glanced down at the plans for the bike and added, "Especially it if has lasers!" She gasped.

Ford chuckled. "I was thinking that while I'm making a five-hundred horsepowered solar-powered motorbike, I might as well add three-thousand-five-hundred-degree lasers, a rife at each handle, rocket-boosters, and two cup-holders with convenient storage under the seat."

"This is amazing!" Mabel awed with cheeks full of sandwich. "Can I help you build it?!"

Ford shrugged as he munched on a carrot-stick. "Sure, but don't touch the lasers or rocket-launchers."

"No problem!" Mabel promised and read the blueprint, thinking she would work on building a comfy seat for Hephzibah to sit on. The brunette paused for a moment and asked, "Grunkle Ford, do you like Hephzie?"

Ford glanced down at his great-niece. "Of course I do."

"Like… more than friends."

The old man sighed and nodded. "I've always liked her. And I know she likes me, but… it's complicated."

Mabel scooted herself closer and leaned against his knee as she ate, letting him talk when he was ready. Grunkle Ford chuckled and ate another carrot stick.

"Well… you heard her story the other night. Yes, we had a few dates, but then once I started to work with Fiddleford on the portal we… kind of took a break. And then we had that big fight and I was thrown into another dimension before I could apologize to her. Now that I'm back, I guess I'm just confused as what to do next. Did we ever break up? Does she even want to pick up where we left things off? Should we start over, or just stay friends?"

Mabel smiled. When Ford theorized and speculated like this, it was about an invention, a monster, or some sort of new discovery of Gravity Falls. It was funny to hear him apply the same logic to girls. "Well, what do you want?" Mabel asked as she ate a chip.

Ford rubbed his chin and thought for a moment. "I want her to be happy."

"Aw, Grunkle Ford." Mabel cooed and hugged him around the waist. "Than she should be with the one she loves. I know I've been pushy lately, but it's only because I want to see you happy."

Ford smiled and wrapped an arm around the young teenager. "I am, Mabel. More than I've been in over thirty years."

"But think how much happier you'd be if you were with Hephzie." Mabel slipped in slyly and Ford laughed.

"You're very persistent, my dear!" He teased and ruffled her hair.

Mabel blushed and suddenly thought of something. "Hey, Grunkle Ford, what's Hephzie's favorite color?"

* * *

As the sun started to set, Hephzie went outside with Everest to run off some energy. With no toys for him to play with, she found a stick and threw it to play fetch with her dog. Everest happily run back and forth, and occasionally launched himself at Hephzie, making her laugh as she toppled backwards. Dipper walked out to the yard with a small smile and went up to Hephzie as she sat on the grass.

She looked up at the boy and said, "Hey there, sweetheart. What's up?"

"I've been meaning to ask you," Dipper said nervously, rubbing his arm. "Remember when you fixed my leg?"

"I already told ya," Hephzie giggled as Everest licked her chin. "Ya won't get superpowers."

"No, that's not it." Dipper asked as he down in front of her and hugged his knees. "I know it's alchemy, but how does it work? I thought alchemy was used for metal."

Hephzie threw the stick to distract Everest and said, "It can be used for metal. Heck, alchemy can be used for many different thangs, dependin' on the transmutation-circle n' the materials you're transmutin'."

"I… still don't get it." Dipper admitted.

Hephzie thought about it, trying to think of how to explain one of the most complicated and rarest sciences known to man. She saw a deer running in the woods and was inspired. "'K. Tell me, what happens to our bodies when we eat meat, or anythang for that matter?"

"Our bodies break it down to energy that is used to keep us alive."

"Right. So what happens to our bodies when we die?"

Dipper swallowed at the thought of death and tired to think of what happens when some animal dies instead. "Well… it's decomposed, and the vitamins and minerals enrich the soil. Then plants grow from the soil…"

Everest returned and Hephzie threw the stick again as she asked, "Then what happens?"

"Animals eat the plants, or we eat the plants, and we also eat the animals that eat the plants." Dipper concluded.

"That's the circle of life." Hephzie stated. "N' it is that same circle, that same flow, that alchemists use to create somethang new. We are all connected in this great circle, but it's not just the food chain, boy. It's the whole world, the whole universe. As an alchemist, I've come to fully understand that flow n' became immersed in it. I don't create or destroy, but deconstruct n' reconstruct to change one thang into another thang."

"But how do you do it?" Dipper asked.

"To transmute, ya have to understand the flow of the universe so ya can successfully use the transmutation circle." Hephzie explained and held up a hand to show a transmutation circle. "I had these tattooed so I wouldn't have to draw one every time I needed to heal an injury, but I can transmute other thangs. Ya have paper?"

Dipper nodded and pulled out a small notepad from his vest and tore off a piece of paper. Hephzie drew a simple transmutation-circle in the dirt and placed the sheet of paper at the center. She clapped, placed her fingertips on the edges of the circle, and before their eyes the paper deconstructed and reconstructed into the shape of an origami-swan.

"So you move the molecules around to make something new." Dipper simplified.

"Exactly." Hephzie said with a nod as Everest rushed over and picked up the swan with his mouth. He sat and began to chew and tear at it. "Equivalent Exchange is the entire premise of alchemy. If ya want to obtain somethang, somethang of equal value must be given. I've spent my whole life studyin' the medical aspects of alchemy n' minor human transmutations."

"So if you can heal injuries by moving around molecules," Dipper theorized, tapping his chin with a pen and turning to a clean page in his tiny notepad. "Does that mean you can deconstruct viruses?" He asked excitedly. "You could help find the cure to so many diseases! The Spanish Flu, possibly even cancer!"

Hephzie smiled and said, "Diseases are different than injuries. A virus almost has a mind of it's own, but I think I've managed. Cancer is my next step, but I still have a long way to go in order to find a cure."

"I just don't understand why no one would hire you for a doctor, or at least give you grant money for you research." Dipper admitted. "This could save all of mankind! No more diseases! No more fatal injuries! What if you found the secret to immortality?!"

"Now, hold on there, Dipper!" Hephzie said hasty and held up a hand to halt the boy. "There's a dark underbelly to alchemy that I have no interest in looking into! I can heal thangs temporarily, but eventually the body will break down n' decay. All great thangs must come to an end."

Dipper stared at the old woman in front of him, seeing that he crossed a line when mentioning immortality, and asked, "Wait, what do you mean by 'dark underbelly'?"

"Just trust me when I say that there's a reason so many people don't like alchemy, sweetheart, 'k?" Hephzie said firmly, shutting down and turning her attention to her dog.

Dipper looked at how hurt and conflicted she was, but he couldn't figure out why. He received a similar treatment when he had brought up the portal to Grunkle Ford while playing Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons. Dipper wished Hephzie would be honest and open with him, but seeing that he already learned so much about alchemy and how she used it to help people, he decided that enough was enough.

* * *

Hephzie heard someone knocking and she slowly sat up. Everest jumped down from the couch and scratched at the door, sniffing and whimpering to get to whomever was on the other side. Hephzie checked the clock and saw that it was a little after eight. Only wearing her jeans and tank-top, the old woman wrapped a blanket over her shoulders and rubbed her face loose as she went to the door. When she opened it, she found Mabel smiling with her hands behind her back. There were little bags under her eyes and Everest rubbed his head against her so she would pet him, but the teenager wouldn't give in.

"Mabel," Hephzie yawned. "What's up?"

"Sorry to wake you," Mabel sheepishly apologized. "But I was so excited! I made you something!" Mabel pulled out a gray sweater and held it up for Hephzie. She gently took it and felt the soft yarn and how carefully the girl had knitted. It was turtlenecked with a piano and a few music notes stitched on the front. "Do you like it?" The brunette asked as she blushed.

"Mabel," Hephzie breathed and then got on her knees and hugged the girl. "Thank you! I love it! Thank you so much, sweetheart!"

She hugged the alchemist back and the two were attacked by a licking dog. They laughed and went into the bedroom, closing the door behind them. Mabel sat on the couch and covered her eyes while Hephzie changed. All of her clothes, except for the ones on her back, had been destroyed in the fire, resorting Hephzie to wear the same clothes ever since the velociraptor fight. It felt good to take off her smelly tank-top and slip on a clean sweater. She rolled up the sleeves to her elbows and gazed at the mirror happily.

"It fits perfect!" Hephzie exclaimed. It hugged her curves perfectly and went down to her waist.

Mabel uncovered her eyes and admired the woman in front of her as she scratched Everest's head before he lost his mind. "Good!" She said with a toothy grin. "'Cuz you're gonna wear it on our Girl's Day!"

Hephzie turned and raised an eyebrow at her. "Gurl's Day?"

"Yup!" Mabel said and got up and grabbed her hand. "No boys, no monsters or alchemy, just you, me, and a dozen stores at the Gravity Malls!"

Hephzie smiled and said, "Ah, shoppin', hu?" She averted her thoughts to how much money she had and budgeted that she had enough for a few clothing items and some other necessities. "Sounds like fun!"

"GIRL'S DAY!" Mabel yelled.

"GURL'S DAY!" Hephzie hollered and the two ran out of the bedroom for the kitchen.

Stan was already fixing his famous Stan-Cakes and Ford was sipping his coffee zombie-like. Hephzie sat next to him and grinned with her new sweater on. He smiled back and was only interrupted when a huge plate of pancakes was thrown in front of him. Ford thanked his twin and ate, and soon everyone had a plate full of hotcakes. After breakfast, Mabel ran off to get ready for the day and Everest followed her; he had grown rather attached to the girl. Stan was at the sink doing dishes when Hephzie drained her mug of coffee and asked Ford,

"Any plans for today?"

He shrugged. "I have some projects I'm going to work on. I hear Mabel's taking you out shopping?"

"Sweet girl." Hephzie said before eating her last bite of Stan-Cakes. "She stayed up all night n' knitted me this sweater." She plucked at her turtleneck-collar and looked at Ford's peaceful smile. He had the same bags under his eyes. "Were you up all night, too?" She asked sternly.

Ford rolled his eyes and said, "I have a lot of experiments that… ow!"

Hephzie had smacked him over the head and was a bit surprised to hear something like reminded her of metal, but ignored it to scold the old scientist. "You need your sleep, Dumb-Dumb!"

"I'm a grown man!" He growled. "I can make my own decisions!"

"Cleary not! You'll work yourself to death!"

"Dang it, woman, it was just one all-nighter!"

"WHAT did you call me?!"

Ford was about to retaliate that he'll call Hephzie whatever he very well please, but he saw his brother holding his head over the sink out of the corner of his eye and turned his head for a better look. "Stan?"

A few drops of blood had collected at the edge of the sink and a single drop escaped, dripping down the side of the counter.

"STANLEY!" Ford yelled at the top of his lungs and leapt from the chair and grabbed his twin's wrist.

"Gah, WHAT?!" Stan yelled back in frustration. His right eye was dripping blood and shut tight, his glasses pushed up to his forehead so he could try to clear his eye. "Calm down, Poindexter! My eye's just watering, dust must've gotten in it!"

A bead of sweat trickled down the side of Ford's face as he stared. He was terrified and seemed to have frozen in fear. He could usually tell when Stan was lying, but here he seemed to truly be unaware of the fact that it was blood.

Hephzie stood up calmly and walked over. "Here, I gotcha." She clapped her hands and touched the side of Stan's face.

Stan's headache suddenly went away and he was able to open his eye. He blinked several times to dry it and smiled as he wiped under his eye dry, too.

"Problem solved." Hephzie said, looking at Ford instead of Stan.

"I love this gal!" Stan joked and put an arm around Hephzie's shoulders after re-adjusting his glasses. "You should keep her around, Sixer, if you know what's good for ya!"

Hephzie laughed and pushed the old man in boxers off of her. Stan returned to doing the dishes, unaware of Ford's rigid face and worried look. Hephzie noticed, however, and dragged him by the wrist to the hall. Standing in the dark and close together, Hephzie glared up at Ford.

"Getta hold of yourself..."

"You don't understand!" Ford growled in a low voice and hastily grabbed Hephzie by the forearms, gripping her rather tightly. "You don't know what this means! My brother's life is in danger!"

"No one's gonna die." Hephzie hissed and pushed his hands off of her. "Let it go."

"Don't you dare scold me like a child!" Ford ordered in a deadly low voice, his eyes sharp and his teeth bared, furious at Hephzie for holding him back. "You'll never understand what this means for my family!"

"Won't I?" Hephzie challenged and pointed a finger right at his neck, giving Ford a look that could kill. She might still be a head shorter than him, but she stood her ground. "I'm not stupid, Stanford. I know what this could mean for your family, but trust me when I say that I'll go before anyone in this house does."

Ford scowled at her, shaking with rage. How dare she think she even remotely understood what this could mean for his family! How dare she belittle his worries like this! She has no idea what they've been through, what he's been through! Ford clenched his six-fingered hands and opened his mouth to hurt her with his words, but Mabel came running down the stairs with a red sweater on with a yellow happy face on it, a yellow skirt, and a matching headband.

"You ready for Girl's Day?!" She cheered.

Hephzie dropped her cold act with Stanford and smiled. "Ya bet! GURL'S DAY!"

"GIRL'S DAY!" Mabel yelled and opened the door and ran outside.

Hephzie followed her and closed the door, quickly throwing Ford an angry look. She closed the door a little more forceful than necessary and Ford let out a wordless yell of rage. He stomped to the gift shop and went down into his lab, but he stopped at the second floor.

Yes, they did burn all of his statues and drawings and murals of Bill at the end of last summer, but what no one knew, not even Dipper, was that hidden in his study was a box full of books, scrolls, and papers of information on the demon. Ford opened it and started to re-read everything by lamplight, completely ditching his plans to work on the motorcycle.


	10. Vkh Nqrzv dqg Vkh Vdlg Qr

Hephzie played with the straw, swirling it around her iced coffee while Mabel watched her. The young teenager sipper her strawberry milkshake with concern spelled all over her face. Halfway through their shopping trip the ladies needed a break, and even though Hephzie seemed to be having fun, when she sat down she appeared to be doing some deep thinking and looked upset.

"Hephzie," Mabel said softly. "Are you okay?"

She old alchemist looked up and smiled. "I'm fine, sweetheart."

"You sure? You know you can always talk to me if you want to." Mabel suggested with a sweet grin that made Hephzie's worries lessen ever so slightly.

"Well… ya ever did somethang ya knew ya couldn't take back?"

Mabel's face dropped and she thought of the end last summer. She was willing to give up a mysterious object that belonged to her great-uncle, just so she could have a little more summer. That caused the entire town to face a devil and his cronies, who threatened to destroy the whole world. Mabel still had nightmares about it every so often, about how the end of the world was all her fault. She nodded at her friend's question and looked down at her milkshake. "Yeah, I have."

"Don't worry; I have, too." Hephzie said seriously. "I wish I could take it back, but I know I can't. All I can do is try to make up for it."

Mabel was tempted to ask what she did that was so awful, but that would mean that Ms. Matchmaker would have to confess what she had done, and she wasn't ready.

"Mabel?" Hephzie asked to get her attention. "Ya tried to tell me in the mines that Ford had gone through the portal, right?" Mabel nodded and Hephzie took one of her hands, her bracelets jiggling against the table. "Can ya tell me what happened?"

Mabel smiled and nodded again. And so lunch was spent telling Hephzie all about the fight that pushed Ford into the portal and how Stan covered his tracks and worked to bring his brother back. Mabel somehow managed to tell the story and carefully avoid Ford's biggest regret. Hephzie listened carefully, hands holding her head up, her elbows on the table.

After the story, Hephzie nodded and leaned back in her chair, her arms crossed. "Yeah, I suspected he'd get stuck ever since he started to work on that dumb portal. I also knew about the brother thang, but…"

"But what?" Mabel asked.

Hephzie sighed and looked away. Should she tell the girl about her suspicions? Should she ask if Ford had made any special deals before his interdimensional adventure? No, it was best that the girl not know. It was Ford's job to tell his family, not Hephzie's. And if Mabel already knew, then this was a conversation Hephzie needed to have with Ford; Mabel was a young woman, not a telephone. "I wish I had done somethang." Hephzie said to explain her guilt. Yes, she did often think about how different things might have been if she had spoken up in that gift shop, or stuck with Ford even after he sent her away.

"Oh, Hephzie," Mabel cooed gently and got up to hug her. "No one blames you. Besides, Grunkle Stan is so stubborn he probably wouldn't have let you help, anyways."

Hephzie hugged the teenager back and chuckled. "That's true."

"And it's like you said," Mabel reminded her. "You can't take it back, but you can do something about it now."

"N' I plan to." Hephzie said firmly with a smile and stood up. "But first, I need some shampoo. I've missed washing my hair."

"Can we get make-up, too?!" Mabel asked excitedly as she grabbed her half-empty milkshake.

"Ya know it!"

* * *

Dipper was a young man of questions and theories - that was no secret - so when it came to who Hephzibah Cece was, he was on the case. He thought that after the velociraptor incident he would have all needed, but even after he sat with her and talked about alchemy, he found himself with even more unanswered questions than before. Dipper was like a sponge; he needed to soak up all the knowledge he could. He wanted to know everything there was to know about alchemy and what Hephzie knew about Gravity Falls. And there was something that nagged at him in the back of his head.

Dipper sat on his bed and bit at his pen, rereading his notes and observing his sketches. The night they spoke of her past, the night she reconciled with Ford, Hephzie's whole home burned down. The cause was still unknown and it looked like the case was unsolvable. Surely if Dipper could figure out who beheaded Wax-Stan he could figure out the cause of a fire, right? But even after he checked out every book at the library about fire and investigated the scene, he still couldn't trace the fire to its source.

Dipper had been in the house right before it was destroyed. There was no indication as to why it would suddenly burst into flames. Okay, maybe a circuit went haywire. Maybe an electronic was left on and something caught on fire. Even still, the whole house was burnt down; not a single item survived nor a wall remained standing. He had checked damage records of houses much older than Pianos For People and even after the fire there we some decent remains. With Hephzie's home, it was like it had vanished. It was unnerving how powerful the fire must have been.

The fact that the fire had been that strong made Dipper believe that this wasn't an accident; this was sabatosh, but who would do such a thing? What was to gain by burning down Hephzie's home? There was also the fact that Hephzie had been asleep at the time of the fire. It might have been attempted murder. Not to mention that it had been the night she had told the Pines family her backstory; had she said too much? Of course, Dipper wasn't going to say anything to her until he knew for sure, but it was still nerve-wracking and the boy was biting harder on his pen.

He wished he could talk to someone. He wished Mabel was home so he could at least have someone listen to him. He knew Stan would think he was being paranoid, so he took in a deep breath, closed his journal, and resorted to asking the one family member he felt like he could trust.

He got off the bed and headed downstairs. Stan was asleep in front of the TV, telling Dipper that it was Soos's turn to be Mr. Mystery. The teenager went into the gift shop to find that Wendy had snuck off to the roof. He quickly entered the password and slipped behind the vending machine before a nosy tourist could walk in and see him. Dipper headed for the third-bottom floor, but was surprised to find it missing it's owner.

Dipper held his chin to think of where his uncle would be. Out exploring? Possibly. In his room? He was hardly there, and he certainly wouldn't be in there now since he gave it to Hephzie. Dipper decided to check the study on the second-basement floor before ditching the hideout completely. The elevator lifted him up a floor and he knocked on the wooden door.

"Grunkle Ford?"

"Come in." Dipper opened the door and found his uncle at his desk with a closed book in his hands. He smiled and said, "My boy! What can I do for you?"

Dipper was taken back by Ford's unusual cherry attitude, but pushed it aside and pulled out his journal. "Okay, you're going to think I'm crazy, but I think the fire that destroyed Pianos For People wasn't an accident." He opened his journal and showed a few pages of diagrams and equations. "I've calculated every scenario for a standard household accident and it doesn't add up. If it really was an accident, the fire would have been a lot smaller and wouldn't have caused so much damage."

Ford carefully looked over his nephew's work and tried not to let his pride and worry get in the way of his thoughts. On one hand he was very proud of the boy and his thorough work. On the other hand he was incredibly worried, not only for Hephzie's safety, but that Dipper was far too much like him. "Very observant," Ford critiqued. "And these equations add up…"

"So, do you think it was sabotage?"

Ford guiltily hadn't been giving the idea a lot of thought. He first panicked that Hephzie had been hurt, then overjoyed to find her okay, then excited and nervous to have her move in, then he got carried away with his newest experiment, and then got mad at her and worried about something else entirely; his mind has been far too busy to even suspect foul play. Ford looked down at his great-nephew and said, "I think you hit the nail right on the head, Dipper."

The teenager nodded seriously and said, "Than I need to find out who set Pianos For People on fire. I'll go to the scene of the crime and investigate!"

"Here, this might help." Ford said as he got up and rummaged through an old box. He pulled out what looked like a hair-dryer, but it was square rather than round and had a small screen promoted up by the handle. "It's a DNA Scanner; it'll allow you to compare samples of DNA so you can find a match."

"Cool!" Dipper said and accepted the help. "Thanks, Grunkle Ford!"

He ran off and Ford wondered if he should follow him to the site; he had so much work to do, however, and he had to pick his battles wisely. As much as he wanted to solve a mystery with his nephew, he had more important things to worry about than who burned down Hephzie's home. Ford sat back down at his desk and opened the drawer containing information on Bill.

* * *

With Dipper out investigating, Hephzie and Mabel still out shopping, and Ford locked away in his lab, Stan didn't even bother to make dinner. Instead he heated up some canned ravioli and went to sit in his chair, only to have a big Saint Bernard dog sleeping on it.

"Hey, geoff!" Stan ordered. "Go on! Get!" Everest woke up and looked up at the old man. He hopped up and licked Stan's face, not paying any mind to the fact that the human was yelling and trying to push the dog away. "AGH! Mangy Mutt! Get down!" Stan somehow managed to sit down and when he did, Everest sat by his feet and was quiet, looking at him with his fluffy ears low and the tip of his tongue poking out of his muzzle, which was drooling uncontrollably.

"What are you lookin' at?" Stan growled at the dog as he ate his dinner. The big dog whimpered and laid his head on Stan's knee, his eyes shining like Mabel's did when she wanted something. Stan cringed as his knee became wet with drool. "Better than having a pig on me." He grunted to himself and looked down at the dog. "Hey, when was the last time your mom fed ya?"

So far Hephzie had been sharing her food with Everest, giving him her scraps and laying down a bowl of water. Stan felt a twinge of guilt as he realized at - along with everything else they lost in the fire - they lost the dog's food, toys, and everything else he needed.

"Can't have ya lookin' so pathetic." Stan said to the dog and got up for the kitchen.

Everest calmly followed him to the kitchen and watched him pour two cans of brown meat into a big bowl for the Saint Bernard. Everest perked up and ran to the bowl before it touched the floor. Stan smiled as he wolfed down his food and the old man fixed a bowl of water to go with it.

"Alright, alright," Stan chuckled as he sat the bowl of water down and tugged the dog away from his food by his red collar. "Don't make yourself sick." Everest turned to drink some water and Stan petted his back. "Heh. Funny, Pa never let us have a dog. Used to ask for one every Christmas and birthday. Eventually the old man quit askin' me what I wanted and would only get me boxin' stuff or clothes or some junk like that."

Everest lifted his head from the water dish and licked Stan's face in thanks. He tried to push him back, but couldn't suppress his laughs. Stan managed to stand up and let the dog resume his dinner when he heard the back door open and his niece cry out,

"WE'RE BAAAACK!"

Stan grabbed his ravioli and watched as Mabel and Hephzie walk into the kitchen laughing and their arms full of bags. Everest lost his mind and tackled Mabel to lick her sweet cheeks. She only laughed and hugged the big dog back, and Hephzie rummaged through a bag.

"Everest! Here, boy!" She sung and pulled out an orange rubber toy in the shape of a bone. She squeezed it and the noise caught his attention. "Mama got you some new toys! Wanna play with Mabel?"

"Yeah!" Mabel cheered and Hephzie tossed her the bone. Mabel squeezed it and ran for the door, the dog at her heels. "C'mon, let's get Waddles to play, too!"

"Looks like you two had fun." Stan grunted as he sat to eat his dinner.

"Yeah, she's a sweet girl." Hephzie complimented and sat down to rest. "She even got some guy's phone number today!"

"She did?"

"Yup! Checkout guy at one of the clothing stores. Looked like a gnome had thrown up on him."

"Do I need to worry about punchin' a teenager in the face?" Stan asked as he ate his last bite of pasta.

"I doubt it. Right as we were leavin' his boyfriend surprised him with a packed lunch."

Stan busted up laughing, trying not to spit out any of his dinner, and hollered, "Oh, MAN! Mabel'll love that!" He got up to get a soda from the fridge and asked, "Hey, you wanna soda?"

"Please." Hephzie said. Stan tossed her a can and she caught it one-handed, "I know how the guy feels." She let it slip as she opened her drink. "This one girl in high school had a huge crush on me! I felt so bad for her, I even went on a few dates! I ended up ditchin' her at an ice-cream place, but she found another girl n' even took her to prom."

"You what?" Stan laughed as he sat back down and opened a cold one.

"I know." Hephzie said with a smile. "This one time I got a mohawk just to piss off a teacher. High school was a train-wreck."

"Join the club." Stan grunted and toasted his can to her. He was tempted to tell her the whole story, but he guessed that if she and Ford dated before that meant that Sixer vented to her about Stan at least once or twice. That got him thinking about the fact that this wasn't just some cool voodoo woman who could kick his butt if she wanted; this was Ford's old girlfriend. It was weird to see her as that (he didn't know her that well, but he had seen her around town the last thirty years). "So… you and my brother, hu?" Stan brought up.

"Yup." Hephzie said with pursed lips after taking a sip of her drink.

Stan took a drink from his can and asked, "Are you two...?"

"Honestly," Hephzie said with a shrug. "I dunno. The guy can never give a straight answer."

"Tell me about it." Stan said with a roll of his eyes. "Wanna know who the real Mr. Mystery is, it's Poindexter."

"Guess ya have a lot of experience." Hephzie challenged over the rim of her can.

Stan laughed and pointed at the woman with dreadlocks. "You don't know the half of it, sister! The dude can never just let things go! One time he didn't talk to me for a whole week cuz I broke his yo-yo!"

"He got mad at me once for sayin' Pluto's a planet." Hephzie recalled.

"What?! Pluto is TO a planet!"

"That's what I told him! Then he got mad at me cuz I beat him at poker."

"You play?"

"Who doesn't?"

The old conman grinned maliciously. "Then what'd ya say to a game? Gotta warn ya, I'm the best one in the household."

"Well I guess that's true since Mabel's outside." Hephzie teased.

Stan got up and went to the door. "We'll see about that… MABEL, WE'RE PLAYIN' POKER, GETTIN HERE!"

"Coming!"

Stan led the way into the living room and began to shuffle at the card table. Hephzie drained her Pitt and tossed it into the trash perfectly from where she sat before joining her new friend. Mabel rushed in with Waddles and Everest chasing her and she hopped into a chair. The night would go on, and it wouldn't take too long for Waddles to fall asleep on top of Everest as they laid in the old armchair.

* * *

Ford didn't stop working until he had no choice but to go to the kitchen and fix himself a cup of coffee. His body was starting to give out on him and he needed a nap, but he was stubborn and pressed forward, making his aching limbs climb up the stairs. He had lost track of time and saw the sunrise through the windows of the gift shop.

The house was quiet, giving indication that everyone else was asleep, and so Ford silently turned on the coffee-pot and made himself a mug full of hot caffeinated-drink. The smell alone helped him to relax slightly and as he took the warm mug into his rough hands, Ford could feel a shiver crawl down his spine. He decided that it would be alright to watch the sunrise as he drank his coffee and went for the porch to sit on the couch.

Ford was surprised to see that Hephzie had beaten him to it. She did not sit on the couch, rather she was standing and leaned against the pole that supported the left side of the porch, her arms crossed and her back to him. She was watching the sun creep up slowly into the sky, a soft breeze playing with her dreadlocks, a gray sweater and a pair of blue jeans hugging her body.

The scientist debated if he should sit on the couch and enjoy his coffee or sneak back downstairs. He and Hephzie hadn't spoken since their fight the day before and he wasn't sure if she was still mad at him. Wait, why should he care if Hephzie was mad? He knew for a fact that he was still mad at her! He had a reason to be worried! Of course she wouldn't understand. Ford made up his mind and turned to go back to work, but her voice stopped him.

"Ya know, it's been over thirty years since we've had a good fight." Hephzie turned to look at him and a bit of sunlight shone just over her head, enhancing her features.

Ford only scowled at her as she didn't wear a smile nor a frown. She was completely emotionless and her tone had been plain. Despite this, she took a fighting stance, her hands ready and her feet apart.

"Oh, please." Ford said with a roll of his eye. "I don't have time…" With one hand by his leg and the other by his neck, in one swift movement Hephzie flipped Ford over and made him fall flat on his hindquarters. His coffee splashed next to him, just a few inches short of burning his hand. He glared up at her with fire in his eyes. "HEPHZIBAH!"

She only gave a small smile and positioned herself once more, this time bending her fingers to herself, challenging her opponent. Losing his short temper, Ford growled as he got up and threw a couple of punches at Hephzie, forcing her to swiftly dodge his attacks and back off the porch as she did so. Ford was on the offense as he tried desperately to land a hit. Hephzie bent low to avoid a hit and swooped her leg to sweep him off his feet. He fell and kicked her in the jaw when he saw her over him.

Hephzie stumbled back and hardly had time to rub her face before Ford back-flipped up off the grass and moved quickly to pin her arms behind her back. "Not so soft," Hephzie commented as she could feel her jaw swell from the blow. "Good. Ya used to hesitate."

She stomped quickly and crushed Ford's left foot. He yelled and flinched so badly he let go of Hephzie; she spun around and punch him on the cheek. He tried to punch back and soon it was a battle of hand-to-hand combat, each fighter trying to both punch and block the other.

As they did so, Stan went to investigate the noise and saw his brother fighting their friend. The old conman grinned evilly and ran off to get some snacks for the show. While he was gone, Ford grabbed one of Hephzie's wrists when she tried to land a punch and he punched her jaw at the same place he kicked her, making her flinch horribly and he pinned her to the ground so she lied on her chest, her hands stuck behind her back.

"Had enough?" Ford said coldly in his voice.

"Nope." Hephzie sneered.

She somehow managed to turn herself around in his grasp and she kneed him in the gut. Ford bent over in pain and put a hand to where it ached; Hephzie stole her opportunity and slid out from under him, stood, and popped her neck. Ford stood and popped his knuckles before making his six-fingered hands into fists and readied himself for another go.

Stan had returned with a bowl of popcorn and sat on the couch to watch. "Fight! Fight! Fight!" He cheered as the pair continued to do so.

It was truly an unusual fight. It was not like before where they were playing a game like children or throwing insults instead of fists. Ford was tired and extremely mad at Hephzie; the last time he was this mad at someone it was at his stupid brother for restarting the portal. Ford's logic had left him, leaving him a fiery mess of anger. Hephzie, meanwhile, was as sly as a fox and cool as ice, unlike her sparring partner. It was unclear if she was out for revenge or if the fight was just a game to her. Regardless, her coolness only made Ford angrier and the fight more entertaining.

As the two brawled, Mabel and Dipper came out, wearing their pajamas and running their eyes. Mabel gasped and ran to Stan. "Grunkle Stan, what are they doing?!"

"What does it look like they're doin'?" He asked as he munched on some popcorn.

"We gotta stop them!" Mabel argued as she watched Hephzie flip backwards, landed behind Grunkle Ford, and punch him sharply right between his shoulder blades, making him stumble.

Dipper put a hand on his sister's shoulder and said, "I think we should just let them work things out."

"Yeah, this is part of the whole healing process or whatever." Stan added on, his eyes glued to the awesome battle. "WHOO! GO HEPHZIE!"

"STANLEY!" Ford yelled in frustration, glancing over to his brother and irritated that he was taking her side.

That was just enough for Hephzie to punch Ford in the ribs and he fell back, landing on one knee as he held his side. He could feel a bruise or two forming on his cheeks and he looked up at Hephzie to see that her lip was split and she had a bruise on her jaw. He found he wasn't sorry at all.

"Got it out of your system?" Ford challenged.

Hephzie's smile was gone. She did not say a word; she only responded by turning her head away from him and spitting out a bit of blood.

Stan's jaw dropped and Mabel's hands flew to her cheeks. Dipper gasped so much his lungs ran out of room for more oxygen and he had to let go. Ford sprung from his bent knee and landed a fierce punch on her nose. Hephzie turned away and nearly fell over, but she balanced herself on one foot. Ford tried to kick her down, but she was too quick; Hephzie spun so her back was to him and then did a backflip so perfect she was able to kick Ford hard enough that he fell onto the grass. He managed to get up in time to see Hephzie land perfectly on one foot once more and she glared down at her enemy.

Ford ran a fist over his aching jaw. That was the last straw. Sleep deprived, hurt, and angry beyond belief, he pulled out his ray gun and stood up as strong as a bull on two feet. Hephzie did not flinch nor gasp, but pulled out her long claymore sword and pointed it at Ford's chest. Her smile was long-gone, but she retained her cool temper. It was clear that this was not a game to her and never was.

Ford had the gun set to first-degree burns and shot at Hephzie, but she used her sword to block the rays. One by one she spun and shielded herself until a shot grazed her ribs. It burned slightly and she put a hand over the scratch in her new sweater. Ford shot again too quickly and Hephzie had to roll out of the way.

"Guys, stop it!" Mabel yelled and tried to run to them, but Dipper grabbed her by the arm and stopped her just before she could leave the stairs.

None of the fighters heard her, and Hephzie launched herself at Ford. The two dueled with sword and gun, Ford using the gun as a thick weapon, clanging it against the sword.

"Will. You. Give. It. A. Rest. ALREADY?!" He yelled with each hit.

"No." Hephzie said coldly and slide the blade of her sword carefully between Ford's hand and the handle of the gun, slipping the weapon out of his blade without cutting any skin. She then pointed the sword at his neck and Ford held up his hands in surrender.

"What gives, Cece?!" He yelled.

"Answer me, Stanford." Hephzie hissed as her sword remained pointing at the old man. "I know ya don't trust me. I know you've been to Hell n' back. I know you've seen thangs that'd make any man go insane, but I need ya to answer this question n' I need ya to tell me the truth."

Ford only looked at her carefully. What was such an important question that Hephzie needed to fight him bloody? What was she going to ask him that clearly he was hesitant to answer honestly? There were many things Ford kept hidden from her and just has many things he had no intention of ever telling her. Not after today. He patiently waited for her question with the mindset of lying.

Hephzie's facial expression lightened and Ford saw a hint of despair behind her mask of anger. "You summoned him, didn't ya?"

Ford's eyes widened in shock. How did she know?! His dream… was it a sign?! Was she working for him?! He had been so careful back in his day about his muse that no one would have ever known unless he told them! But she…

"Well?!" Hephzie yelled when Ford did not answer, her sword drawing closer to him.

"Yes!" He yelled, his frown returning.

Mable's eyes were full of tears, her hands squishing her cheeks. Dipper's jaw was hanging almost as low as Grunkle Stan's. No one knew what to do as Hephzie stood frozen, her weapon still a threat to Ford's life.

She sighed and closed her eyes. She pocketed her sword and Ford let his arms down, but he did not leave. He looked down at his boots in shame of what he had done. He had lost his temper and threatened to shoot her. Had he really missed out on so much sleep?

"Looks like we're both beyond help."

Ford gasped and looked at Hephzie. He studied her bleeding lip, her swollen jaw, but above all, he stared at her shameful eyes. They were dry (Hephzie never cried in front of Ford) and stone-cold, but the rest of her face told him what he needed to know.

Mabel had gasped and covered her mouth. Dipper gasped as well and looked ready to faint. Stan had dropped his popcorn and it fell over the porch. Gompers began to munch on it.

"Hephzibah," Ford breathed in a quiet voice. "You… I..." She only looked at him. Her face was rigid. The blood slowly seeping from her lip reached her chin and began to form a drop. Ford's heart broke when he realized that he caused that. He had allowed himself to fall prey to anger and he took it out on her. "I've hurt you. Again." Ford muttered.

Hephzie's stern look cracked; she hated to see him look so guilty, so full of blame. It wasn't his fault, she started the fight. She tried to think of what to say to assure him of this, but the old alchemist was speechless. Ford slowly lifted a six-fingered hand and wiped the drop of blood away from her chin. Hephzie closed her eyes at his touch and was reminded of how they used to be all those years ago. "We have an act for hurtin' each other." She said. "We're goin' to end up killin' ourselves if we don't do somethin' about it."

Ford cupped her swollen cheekbone and used a thumb to wipe away the trail of blood. "Agreed. If we're ever to defeat him, we need to work together."

"Ya know I'll follow ya."

"No." Ford said firmly, making Hephzie open her eyes and glare at him. "I want you to walk alongside me." Ford dropped his hand from her face and looked away. He knew he was asking a lot from her. He knew what this might mean. If he was coming back, there was a good chance that whoever was willing to fight would die.

Hephzie flung her arms around his torso and hugged him. Ford looked down at her shoulders and back in awe. She had hugged him before, but it had been so long. He could feel her love, her warmth. How could Hephzie still care for him after all he had done? Her hands clang onto Ford's trenchcoat tightly and she had her face buried in his red sweater, her eyes barely able to see over his broad shoulder. Ford hugged her back gently, his arms around her shoulders, one hand cradling her head and the other cupping her shoulder. His chin grazed Hephzie's soft black hair and he lowered his head to be cushioned by it. Her scent, her warmth, it was all here, just like it was over thirty years ago.

Mabel's eyes started to shed her tears. Dipper patted her back and watched his uncle reconcile with his old friend. This wasn't like in the cave or at Pianos For People; this wasn't a quick apology and then brushing it aside. The past was finally behind them and they had decided that being together again was far more important than blaming themselves for what did or didn't happen. Dipper thought of something and looked up at Grunkle Stan to see what he thought of the whole thing. He was pleasantly surprised to find the man in boxers smiling at the pair as they held each other. Stan was truly happy for his brother and, even if danger was coming soon, it was nice to have just a moment of peace.

When Ford finally let go of Hephzie after a soft squeeze, he turned around to find his family smiling at them. Seeing them all together reminded him of what he had to do, but now that he knew that Hephzie knows… he kept an arm around her and she looked out at them, too, blushing slightly, but grinning all the same.

Ford took in a deep breath and yelled, "FAMILY MEETING! FAMILY MEETING!"


	11. οικογενειακή συνάντηση

"First thing's first: coffee." Stan grunted and started to make a huge pot of coffee for the adults.

Dipper and Mabel sat at the table and helped themselves to a bowl of Frosted Os. They heard Ford and Hephzie come in and saw their uncle stop at the kitchen door, but Hephzie went further down the hall. She intended to take a shower and leave Ford to talk to his family in private, but was stumped to hear him call to her.

"Hephzie, come on. You're a part of this, too."

Hephzie turned and saw him gesture for the kitchen. She smiled and walked in to sit at the table. Ford sat next to her and Stan dropped down three mugs to fill with coffee once it finished brewing. He turned to the cabinet and got some coffee-creamer and sugar, then sat down.

"Right," Ford said and took in a deep breath before starting. "There's no point in trying to keep it a secret any longer…" He paused and looked at Hephzie. He knew he should address something else first, but he wasn't quite ready. Ford could remember when he first planned to introduce the three-sided devil to his family, but it fell through when the kids told him they had already been terrorized by him. What he needed to say today was nerve-racking and could ruin everything. "Hephzibah, maybe it's best if you explain." Ford said as he shoved his hands in his pockets and glanced away.

Hephzie rolled her eyes and stood up. She knew when she was being thrown under a bus. "Fine." She stood behind Ford, clapped her hands, and touched his upper-back to start working on healing the aches and other small injuries he had obtained during their fight. His eyes widened at this, but then he relaxed under her touch. "As y'all know, I did my fair share of explorin' when I was a little gurl. I came across an old cave with paintings n' stories from the ancient people of Gravity Falls. It told the tale of a higher bein' who knew everythang. To boot, it told me not to read 'em, n' bein' the stubborn eight-year-old I was, I yelled that no one told me what to do n' I read the thang-y out loud for all the world to hear."

Ford chuckled as Hephzie moved onto healing the bruises on his face with her alchemy, his mind imagining a cute little girl yelling and pointing at a triangle painting on the wall of a cave. Of course she would do something like that. His small smile died and a horrible feeling reached his stomach at realizing how young she had been.

"Nothin' happened, so I eventually got bored n' went home." Hephzie went on and sat back down. "But that night I had a nightmare."

 _Hephzie laughed as she went down the iron slide. It was her favorite thing at the elementary school park, so since she was alone and didn't have to wait for her turn, she got up and ran around to climb back up to the top. Hephzie sat and threw her hands up in the air as she started to go down. When she reached the bottom, however, right up to her face and scaring her, was a triangle with an eye. He was yellow and wore a black hat and bowtie. Hephzie hugged her knees and coward at the sight of the creature._

 _"Whoa, kid, relax." His voice echoed. He sounded cherry and nice enough. "What, am I too scary for ya?" He asked as he wiggled his fingers._

 _"No!" Hephzie said proudly as she stood up on the slide and looked closely at the triangle. Really, at a second chance, he didn't look too scary. "What's your name?" She asked._

 _"Name's Bill!" The triangle said, tipping his hat to her. "And you're Hephzie Cece, right?"_

 _"Right!" The little girl said excitedly. "How'd ya know that?"_

 _"I know everything about ya, Short-Stack." Bill said and floated next to her, twirling a cane. "I know your favorite color, I know what you do all day, I even know your mom and pop."_

 _Hephzie stared at this information. "Ya do?"_

 _"Sure I do!" Bill said with a smile (well, he didn't have a mouth, but his eye squinted happily) and floated in front of her. "Tell you what, I like ya, kid; how about we make a deal?"_

 _"A deal?"_

 _"Yeah! I'll tell you anything you wanna know if you do me a favor! We can work out the details later." Bill offered and held out his hand. It became encased with blue fire and the child was memorized by it._

 _Hephzie was about to grab it, but she closed her hand and withdrew it. The girl looked closely at the triangle and his smiling eye seemed… fake. "I dunno…"_

 _"C'mon, Half-Pint." Bill teased as he ruffled her short curly hair. "Wouldn't you like to know all the secrets to the universe? Wouldn't it be nice to make a friend for once?"_

 _Hephzie looked away and held her arms. She usually didn't mind being by herself, but it would be nice to have a friend. Additionally, she was uncomfortable with him calling her "Half-Pint"; that was Grandpa's special name for her._

 _"Listen, kid," Bill said. "I see everything, even things that haven't happened yet, and you've got a bright future! I can help you become famous and popular beyond anything you can imagine! All I need you to do is make a deal with me." The triangle held out his hand again and the blue fire returned._

 _Hephzie stared at it and was tempted to take it. But she was stubborn, and just to tick the guy off, she scrunched up her face and yelled, "No!"_

 _"What?!" Bill yelled and he doubled in size and became red. "_ _ **Do you know what happened to the last guy who said 'no' to me**_ _?!" He asked in a deep voice._

 _Any other little girl would have cried from fear, but Hephzie was too angry to be scared. "I don't care! No one tells me what to do!"_

 _"That's what you think!" The triangle yelled and grabbed Hephzie with a big black hand. "One day you'll make a deal with me, kid!_ _ **Just you wait and see**_ _!" His voice said in a scary deep voice and Hephzie shut her eyes and screamed._

 _She jumped out of bed and screamed for her grandparents. She ran down the hall and into the living room, and threw herself into her Grandpa's arms. She cried, too scared of what she had dreamed to talk about it, and soon fell asleep in his arms while her Grandma watched her worriedly._

"The next day Grandpa took me out to ride my bike for the first time." Hephzie went on as she clapped her hands and touched the side of her face. Her lip sealed itself and her bruises disappeared. "I almost had it when I crashed n' broke my leg. After that it seemed like every time I had a dream with Bill in it, somethang bad would happen. I dreamed about him when I was nine n' said 'no' to his deal. Next day I got pneumonia n' had to say in bed for two weeks. I dreamed about him again a few months later n' my pet hamster, Lucy, died. I dreamed about him in middle school n' Grandma fell n' couldn't get up. Throughout my life Bill's been tryin' to make a deal with me, but I've always said 'no'."

Hephzie glanced up at the Pines family and found them in awe at her story. All of them, at one point or another, had fallen prey to Cipher's tricks and lies. Every one of them had made a deal with him, and here was someone so bold and determined that she had never made a deal with whom had been terrorizing her all of her life.

Stan got up to get the pot so he could pour coffee.

"Hephzibah," Ford said quietly and took one of her hands. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be." Hephzie said and squeezed his hand back. "I shouldn't have summoned him. Maybe if I'd told ya my secret, ya wouldn't have made the same mistake I did."

"But you were just a child." Ford argued gently and looked away at remembering the day he made a deal. "And don't blame yourself. I made the choice to summon him, I made the choice to accept his deal."

"So, what?!" Stan asked in a grumpy tone as he filled the three mugs up. "Why are we bringin' it all up now? We defeated Bill, remember? I know I do."

Ford looked up at his brother and understood why he was so cold about the subject. This was why he wanted to keep this to himself. He knew the kids could handle it, but…

Hephzie ruffled Ford's gray hair affectionately with her free hand and gave him a soft smile. "Ya can tell him or I can."

"Just spit it out, ya dorks." Stan said darkly as he sat down the coffee-pot and resumed his seat at the table.

Ford's hand clenched, holding onto Hephzie's for dear life. She covered it with her other hand and rubbed the back of his hand. He looked up at his twin brother has he poured some sugar into his coffee and mixed it in with his spoon. Stan wore a hard expression that Ford read like a book. Stanley wasn't an idiot. He knew what they needed to say.

Dipper swallowed his bite of breakfast with a tight throat. Mabel's eyes swam with tears. She tried to wipe them dry, but it was useless.

"He's back." Ford croaked. "Bill's out there."

"NO!"

The other four jumped and looked at Mabel, who had yelled at the top of her lungs as she slammed her fist on the table with all her might. Tears flowed down her cheeks freely and she didn't even try to cover them or wipe them away.

"Mabel…"

"No, Dipper!" Mabel cried, cutting her brother off. "He's not back! He CAN'T be back!"

"He's not back entirely." Hephzie pointed out to try to calm the girl down. "It's not like last time where he can come n' go as he pleases. He's very weak, but…"

"Is that why your store was burned down?" Dipper asked. "Did he enter your dream?"

"Yeah," Hephzie answered with a nod. "He's desperate to make a deal with me, which makes me think he's very weak right now."

"It looks like our best shot is to do everything in our power to make sure he can't get as strong as he once was." Ford said firmly.

"But he CAN'T be back!" Mabel argued and held her head, her fingers grabbing her hair. "He can't! I can't do this again!"

"Mabel, it's…"

"WE ALMOST LOST!" The brunette cried out, not looking at anyone has she could practically see Weirdmageddon before her watery eyes. "We almost lost our home, our family, WE EVEN LOST GRUNKLE STAN!" Mabel wept and hid her face behind her arms as she laid her head on the table.

Stan had spent most of the conversation glaring at his coffee and trying to ignore the buzzing in his mind; hearing his little girl cry over what happened to him brought him back to reality and he stared at seeing her so scared and worried for her hero's life. He scooped her up and sat her on his lap to try to soothe her. Mabel held him tightly and sobbed on his undershirt. "Hey, hey," Grunkle Stan croaked as he petted her long brown hair. "C'mon, pumpkin. I'm not goin' anywhere."

"Stanley's right." Grunkle Ford said firmly. "None of us are. This isn't like Weirdmageddon, sweetheart. Even his powers in the Mindscape are far more limited than before."

"So what exactly did we do to him?" Stan asked as Mabel started to calm down and breathe deeply.

Hephzie looked at Ford and asked, "Yeah, what did happen? How did ya stop him last time?"

Ford blinked at her. "Mabel didn't tell you?"

"She only told me about the portal n' your expedition to the Arctic Ocean." The old alchemist said and grabbed a mug of coffee and started to sweeten it the way she wanted it. "I think she knew ya had to be the one to tell me about Bill."

Ford smiled at his great-niece as she wiped herself dry with the sleeves of her blue-starred sweater. He sighed and said, "I'll fill you in later. You and I have a lot of work ahead of us."

"Right." Hephzie said as she stood up with her coffee in hand.

"Where are you two goin'?" Stan asked.

"Hephzie and I need to figure out what is out next move." Ford said as he stood up, too. "We know him best, and if he still exists there's no doubt he'll try to return. If we can stop him now, we'll have a better chance of ceasing history from repeating itself."

"So, what do we need to do?" Dipper asked.

"Bill can't do anything to us right now." Ford answered. "The Unicorn Spell is still active, so even if he tried to make a deal with Hephzibah again he couldn't punish her, or any of us, as long as we're in the Shack."

"Right now our top priority should be understandin' what happened to him, what's his plan, n' what he can do." Hephzie explained as she sipped her coffee. "Once we know that we can come up with a plan on how to defeat him."

"I think we still have some unicorn hair." Dipper thought out-loud. "What if we used the spell on the golf cart or the underground bunker in the woods?"

"That bunker is too dangerous." Ford argued.

"We already took care of the shapeshifter." The teenager went on. "If we kept the freezing unit locked, we could still use the fallout shelter as a second homebase."

"I think it's a great idea." Hephzie said with a grin to the teenager and put a hand on Ford's shoulder to keep him quiet. "Any chance you n' Mabel can go down there n' make sure it's suitable for livin'?"

"Sure thing!" Dipper said as he pulled out his notebook and scribbled some notes. "We can restock the food supply, clear the area of bugs and dust, add more beds..."

"I'll call Wendy and Soos!" Mabel suggested and pulled out her phone.

"Awesome!" Dipper said and got down from the table. "The booby-traps probably need to be double checked, and we can get Soos to help fix up the computers."

"Just be careful." Stanford warned as Mabel got down from Stan's lap and the two ran for the door. "Shifty is an angry little weirdo and he won't hesitate to eat your face if he wakes up."

"Got it!" Dipper called back and closed the door behind them.

"I've already started doing some research in my lab." Stanford said to Hephzibah as he grabbed a mug; he remembered the surprise for her and quickly added, "I have some books in my room we can start on."

"Sounds good." Hephzie said with a nod.

"What about me?" Stan asked. "What should I do?"

Ford exchanged looks with Hephzie. If anyone was in greater danger it was Stan. It was unclear of how much of a connection he had with Bill, but given how the triangle was first defeated, there was a chance that Stan was the key to returning to their world. Not wanting his brother to do something crazy and stupid, he knew he had to answer carefully.

"Keep your guard up, Stanley." Ford said and put his free hand into his pocket.

He followed Hephzie out of the kitchen and Stan only grunted into his coffee. He knew this was bound to happen. He can remember worrying about it while on the Stan O' War II, but he had pushed his fear aside to enjoy his lifelong-dream with his brother. Sure, he had a few weird dreams, but he told himself it was because of Weirdmageddon; everyone else seemed to be having nightmares, anyways.

Stan's fists tightened on his mug until his knuckles turned white. Seeing Mabel break down got Stan thinking of how much his sacrifice impacted his family. He did what he had to do, but if Bill was still out there, what good was it now? Had his sacrifice and his family's pain all been for nothing? Stan took a long drink of coffee and slammed the mug on the table. It wasn't fair. It was supposed to be over.

He rubbed his forehead and could feel a headache building from his racing mind. What was he supposed to do? Only an idiot would consider packing his bags and running away. Stan had done his fair share of running from his problems and he had enough. If Bill still existed somewhere, he'd most likely be in Stan's mind, right? He tried to think of when Gideon sent the triangle in his mind for the code to the deed. Stan hadn't noticed anything weird and it wasn't until the kids told him that he knew Bill had been in his mind at all. That told Stan that Bill could very well be in his mind right now, biding his time, waiting until he was strong enough to leave. If Stan's memories had come back, of course Bill Cipher could, too.

Stan's right eye started to itch and tears built up to try to wash it clean. He wiped at his eye and glanced down at his hand. He stared at the red liquid that coated his fingers. Stan remembered the day before when his eye had itched and Poindexter freaked out. Was that why? If Hephzie could fix it, it wasn't a big deal, right?

Stan shut his eye tightly as it burned and continued to bleed. He got up and tore off a paper towel to try to wipe his eye clean. No point in telling them; they'd just freak out. He reached into a drawer and pulled out a spare eye-patch he used for Mr. Mystery. He folded the paper towel and pressed it against his bleeding eye, using the eye-patch to keep it still.

Good thing Soos was too busy for the tours today.


	12. 16-18-5-16-1-18-5

They both sat on the couch with books in their hands. Some of them were published by authors long forgotten, some were notes and doodles Ford had made years ago. He had meant to include them with his main journals later when his work was ready to be published. Now that the journals decorated with his polydactyl hands were gone, the researchers were left with few resources and information; so together they combed through it all and made notes on new, small journals to try to figure out what to do about Bill Cipher.

Hephzie had her legs over Ford's lap as she leaned against the wall, a book propped up on her knees and a notebook by her side. Everest, Hephzie's Saint Bernard, was asleep on the floor, soaking in the sunlight that it him perfectly on his back. Ford carefully reread a paragraph and decided that the information was worth noting, so he sat it aside, picked up a small brown journal and began to fill it with his little cursive handwriting.

His mind was beginning to slip. Ford was always a man whose faith in sleep was minuscule. He had better things to do than waste a third of his life on sleep. Whether he was building a portal or traveling through dimensions, he was used to staying up for days at a time, but as he sat with his friend, her legs warming him and his strength giving way, he found it hard to concentrate and was tempted to get another cup of coffee. He checked his watch and was discouraged to find that it had only been two hours since his last fix.

Hephzie turned a page in her book and watched Ford for a bit. His eyes were heavy and as the sun seeped into the room, the bags under his eyes were clearer than ever before. He looked exhausted and the strained look on his face told Hephzie that he was having a hard time processing what he was reading. She sighed and closed her book with a snap. "Fordsie, when was the last time ya slept?"

"A few days." He muttered without processing the question or who asked it.

"Seriously?" Hephzie groaned as she slapped her forehead and Ford cringed at his mistake; he didn't intend on telling her that. "How are ya supposed to think straight like this?"

"I'm fine," Ford said as he tossed a glance over to her and tried to focus on reading. "I have a lot of work to do and… hey!" Hephzie had snatched his book away and held it out of his reach. He tried to grab it, but she pushed him back with her other hand. "Hephzibah, give it back!" Ford argued while she smiled.

"Not a chance, Dumb-Dumb!" She teased.

Ford got a wicked idea and snuck a hand on her ribs and gently tickled her, his fingertips just grazing her side. Hephzie bit her bottom lip and lowered her arms to try to shield her body. Ford managed to snag the book back and let out a loud "Ha!" in triumph. "Thank you, madam." Ford said and opened the book to where he left off. He found more of his precious energy was gone, having it spent on wrestling with Hephzie, and the thought of studying on was torturous.

"Oh, c'mon, Ford." She said in a quiet voice and got up to grab a blanket. Hephzie picked one that was folded over a desk chair and found that it was the same green blanket Hephzie's grandmother had given him one Christmas. "Ya need to getta hold of yourself."

"I don't have a choice." Ford said grimly, not looking up at her. "We don't have much time and I have to find a way to stop Bill."

"Don't have a choice?" Hephzie repeated and stood in front of him with her hands on her hips, the blanket hanging by her left hand. Ford looked up at her and felt intimidated to have her looking down at him. "You've always had a choice, Brainiac." Hephzie snatched the book again and threw it on his desk before he could get it back. "I promise that one quick nap won't destroy the universe."

Ford held his pounding head and sighed. He closed his eyes for a moment and could feel Hephzie sitting next to him. She leaned on his right side and threw the blanket over them. His eyes flew open and he looked down to see her calmly covering the window with it's curtains, darkening the room, and she leaned on his shoulder and closed her eyes. Ford knew he was supposed to copy her. He was so tired and so comfortable…

Ford closed his eyes and his mind began to wander. He was so glad to have Hephzie back and to finally be able to put the past behind them. His memories went back to their dates: when they went skating, when they went and saw Galactic Battles, when they took a walk in the park, when they saw the carnival with Fiddleford.

"Hephzibah?"

"Hm?"

"I was wondering…" Ford said slowly, his eyes still closed as if he didn't have the strength to open them. Hephzie had moved a hand over his chest and turned her head so a cheek was snuggling with his red sweater. Ford swallowed a lump in his throat and knew he couldn't turn back. "Would you be interested in accompanying me to dinner tomorrow night?" He must be so tired his brain was acting the same way it would if he was drunk.

Hephzie smiled sleepily. "Yeah, I'd like that."

Ford yawned into his left hand. "Really?"

"Yeah." Hephzie said quietly as she started to fall asleep, too.

"Alright." Ford felt a wave of exhaustion overcome him and it was very hard to think straight now.

"Hm. Your glasses."

He felt his glasses being slipped off his face, but did not open his eyes to confirm this. He heard them click as they were folded and placed on the nightstand by the alarm clock. Ford wrapped his right arm around Hephzie to keep her close and he moved no more.

* * *

Wendy leaned against a tree with her arms crossed over her chest. Soos sat on a fallen tree next to Mabel and the three watched as Dipper paced in front of the hidden entrance.

"Okay, first thing's first," He said and stopped pacing to look up at his friends. "Whatever you see or hear stays here. Don't tell anyone."

Wendy zipped her lips together and flicked her fingers to the side, symbolizing that she wouldn't say a word.

"Dude, what's going on?" Soos asked.

"Grunkle Ford thinks that there's a good chance that Bill's still out there." Dipper said plainly, taking care of the issue as if he was ripping off a bandaid.

Wendy stood straight and let her arms drop to her side.

Soos gasped and asked, "Are you serious?! I thought he was destroyed in Mr. Pines's mind?!"

"We thought so, too." Dipper said solemnly. "But recent evidence points to the fact that he's still exists. It looks like he's extremely weak and has lost most of his powers, but we need to prepare for the worst in case he comes back."

"On it." Wendy said and started to climb up the tree. "So, what? We're just gonna restock the bunker?"

"That's the idea." Dipper called up to her as he stepped back from the tree. "Hephzie and Ford are doing some research to try to figure out what our next move should be."

"It's real scary, dude." Soos admitted as he stood up and Wendy flipped the lever disguised as a branch. "I mean, it was hard enough beating him last time. How are we supposed to beat him again?"

"I've been thinking about that." Dipper answered as he watched the secret entrance unraveled.

Wendy hopped down as the whole tree rattled and then the four walked down the wooden stairs more comfortable than last time. The bed, weapons cabinet, food shelves, and other supplies still filled the room, as well as cobwebs and bugs.

Mabel put a hand to her chin and said, "We'll need more beds down here. And more food."

"We can move the shelves here and build bunk beds." Soos suggested as he pointed to the shelves over the first bed and another wall full of boxes. "Just like a pirate-ship!"

"Perfect." Dipper said as he looked around the room. "We can also use the tunnel for storage since no one will be using the experimental rooms."

"This place'll get cramped real quick." Wendy noted.

"Hopefully we won't have to use the bunker at all." Dipper reminded them as he looked at the walls. "Maybe we can talk to McGucket about building some more rooms."

"So, what were you saying, bro-bro?" Mabel asked as she sat on the bed. "You think you know a way to defeat Bill?"

"We all do, Mabel." Dipper pointed out. "The zodiac, remember?"

"You mean that thing we tried after we rescued Ford?" Soos asked.

"That's the one." Dipper said, nodding his head. "Ford told me that it would've worked if he and Grunkle Stan didn't start fighting. He's not sure what it would've done, but the prophecy said that it was the only way to defeat Bill. Maybe it was right."

"So, what?" Wendy asked. "If that pointy jerk does come back we just gotta get in a circle and hold hands?"

Dipper shrugged with a small smile, not wanting to promise anything.

Soos grinned and said, "No sweat, dudes! We just gotta get everyone together! Who was part of the circle…?"

"We all were." Dipper started.

"Robbie, Pacifica, Gideon…" Mabel said, counting them off her fingers.

"Old Man McGucket, Stan and Ford." Wendy finished. "I think that's it."

"Should we tell the others?" Soos asked.

"Bill's not back yet." Dipper said. "Let's wait until Grunkle Ford and Hephzie figure out where he's at, then we'll rally the troops and come up with a plan."

"Right!" Soos said and clapped his hands together and straightened his hat. "First this handyman's got some bunk beds to build!"

"I can help!" Mabel volunteered cherry and stood up. "We'll need more blankets, too."

"My dad has tons of apocalypse food left over from last summer." Wendy said coolly. "We can move it down here."

"I'll give ya a hand. Stan's got loads of brown meat we can store down here, too" Dipper said and pointed to Soos and Mabel, whom were already measuring the space they had with a tape-measure that didn't send them through time. "You two get started on the beds and we'll be back with more rations."

* * *

Ford quickly finished the left rocket and ran back to the motorcycle to attach it. With fast gloved-hands he started to work on his new experiment, mentally kicking himself for acting irrationally. Why on Earth did he ask her out on a date?! He wasn't ready! He'd have to stay up all night to finish the bike! Of course, Ford didn't need to give it to her tomorrow night, but for what he had in mind…

"Grunkle Ford?" The old scientist jumped and yelled so badly his glasses threatened to slip off his face. He kept a hand on the rocket as he pushed his cracked glasses back up to his eyes and he turned to find Mabel entering his lab. "What are you doing?" She asked.

Ford took in a deep breath and got back to work on finishing the last rocket. "Trying to finish Hephzibah's motorcycle."

"Cool!" She said and went over to investigate.

The seat she had made was polished and ready, laying on a desk to the side as it would be attached last. Two rockets were hiding on each side of the skeletal-bike and Mabel could see where the lasers were going to go. The engine, wheels and handle were all set in place. There was still a lot of work that needed to be done, but what was accomplished looked incredible.

"This is amazing, Grunkle Ford!" Mabel praised as he tightened the last knut and backed up to take a look at what he had done so far. "She'll love it!"

"You really think so?" Ford asked with a smile at how excited the teenager was.

"You bet!" Mabel said and punched his arm lightly. "Can I help?"

Ford looked down at her grinning face and shining eyes and decided that he could use an extra pair of hands. "Sure, sweetheart. You can help me finish working on the lasers." Mabel punched the air and slipped off her white and four-leaf clover sweater. She tied it around her waist so she could work in her white t-shirt. Ford went to his desk and Mabel stood ready to pass him his tools so he wouldn't have to run around like a mad man. "Screw driver."

Mabel handed it to him and she asked while he worked, "So, what's the big hurry?"

Ford hesitated for a moment as he tightened a screw, but he knew that if he could trust anyone with this it would be his niece. He grabbed another screw from his box and said as he worked, "Well, I've invited Hephzibah to join me for dinner tomorrow and…"

Mabel let out a horrible scream that made Grunkle Ford cover his ears and shut his eyes tightly. He wouldn't have been surprised if all the glass within twenty feet shattered. Maybe telling Mabel wasn't such a good idea. "YOU'RE GOING ON A DATE?!"

"Keep it down, Mabel!" Ford scolded and resumed his work. "Yes, we are. I don't know what I was thinking! I was sleep deprived and we were both about to fall asleep and I just…" He glanced over to find Mabel staring, squishing her cheeks as her eyes shined like the stars. Ford found it a bit unsettling and looked away to resume his tale. "I just asked her."

"And what did Hephzie say?!" Mabel pressed, wanting very last detail.

"Well, she said yes, obviously."

"And then what?!"

"And then we fell asleep?" Ford finished, not sure what else the girl wanted.

"AH! This is amazing!" Mabel cheered. "What's your plan?!"

"Blow torch."

Mabel passed her uncle the desired tool and proceeded to ask, "Where are you two going?! What are you going to wear?! Are you doing anything afterwards?!"

As Ford tried to soften a piece of metal with the small flame, he answered, "I'm not sure. I thought I'd take her out to The Sea Sponge and maybe we would ride around town. We used to go out for rides all the time back in the day."

"Aw!" Mabel cooed at thinking of a younger Hephzibah and Stanford riding around on a motorcycle underneath the moonlight.

"So it's a good idea?" The genius asked as he looked closely at the piece of metal and started to bend it with pliers. "I considered making reservations to The Club, but I thought it might be too much. Or is she expecting something with more class?"

"Grunkle Ford," Mabel said, completely calm for the first time in the whole conversation. "Take it from a girl. Hephzie's not gonna care if the date is at the top of the Eiffel Tower or behind a dumpster. To the right woman, the perfect date is with the right man."

Ford looked up from the metal and down at the teenager. He smiled and ruffled her hair. "That's very wise of you, my dear."

"Thanks." Mabel said with a slight blush.

Ford pressed the metal against the laser and started to screw it in place; this would be the outside shield of the laser. "So the bike's a good idea?"

"The best!"

"And dinner?"

"Perfect!" Mabel said and remembered her own date at The Sea Sponge. She had been impressed with how fancy it was, but not with the guy she was with. "Just don't bring in a horse, okay?" Mabel requested.

"Why would I bring a horse?"

Mabel shrugged. "What are you gonna wear?" She asked to steer the conversation.

"This?" Ford glanced over at her as he held up the laser for examination. Her cringed told him that it was not a good idea. "Guess not?"

"Grunkle Ford, you wear the same outfit every day." Mabel explained. "This is a special occasion! You should dress up a little!"

"Well, what would you have me wear?" Ford asked as he stood up and instantly regretted it.

He looked down at her and saw the huge smile that spelled out nothing but trouble. The old man sighed and walked back to the motorcycle to attach the laser just below the handle. Mabel followed him and rambled on about outfit ideas for the rest of the night. It was only at three-thirty when Ford had to get themselves to bed, but at least he managed to finish both lasers and the rest of the weapons.

* * *

Hephzie woke up violently, shaking from head to toe and drenched in sweat. She held herself up and gasped for breath. Everest sat up on her lap and sniffed her face to see what was wrong. She sat against the wall and petted the dog's head, struggling to catch her breath.

"It's okay, Everest. It's okay."

She tried to tell herself that as well. Hephzie looked down at her shaking hands and clenched them. She turned her fists to look at her tattoos, her eyes wide with fear. She had always been proud of her tattoos, but for the first time in her life she was ashamed of them. Hephzie felt sick to her stomach. She shut her eyes tightly and rubbed her face to try to relax, but this action only proved to worsen how she felt as she saw the worst parts of her nightmare flash before her consciousness. Hephzie could feel her stomach turn and she swallowed hard, wondering if she was going to throw up.

Everest whimpered softly and nudged his head against hers, dribbling a little bit of drool down into Hephzie's lap. The old alchemist hugged her dog as gently as she could muster, but it was a difficult task as she wished to hold him tightly. Everest licked her cheek and ear softly as she held him and petted his brown and white fur.

"Good boy, Everest." Hephzie whispered, her heart-rate lowering. "You're such a good boy."

Everest only licked her gently, trying his best to comfort her in her time of need. Hephzie let go of him and scratched under his chin. The Saint Bernard was a lot smarter than he was given credit for. He always knew how to comfort his mom and when she needed it most. He was her only family member left. Hephzie felt like she was truly blessed to have such a wonderful companion.

She took in another deep breath and looked at the alarm clock. It was a little after four in the morning and she knew there was no point in trying to fall asleep. Her thoughts drifted back to her illusion and she shivered. Hephzie shooed Everest off of her and she got up with trembling legs. She had worn a white t-shirt and black leggings to bed, so she grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around her shoulders, letting it fall behind her like a shawl. Everest walked to the door and waited for his master to open it. She did so and he led the way to the front door. Hephzie let her dog out to take care of some personal business and she took a moment to breathe in the crisp air. It was still dark out and so she watched her dog carefully to make sure nothing bad would happen to him.

She had dreamed of Bill. He had asked for a deal, and she had said "no". That meant that something bad would happen today. Maybe to her, maybe to someone she knew. Hephzie nearly escaped with her and Everest's lives just a few days ago. Anything could happen to them now.

Hephzie sat on the steps of the porch and tried to think clearly. She had noticed that when something did happen, it was due to something small. When her Grandma fell it was because a sock had been left on the floor. When Hephzie had broken her leg it was because her bike had hit a rock that she could've sworn wasn't there before. When her hamster had died it was because it had choked on a big chunk of food. If something bad was going to happen, it would seem small, but it'd spell out disaster. Would a tourist light a cigarette? Is the Mystery Shack going to burn down, too? Would someone leave a chocolate bar unattended? Would Everest eat it? Is a nail going to fall on a road? Is a tire going to pop? Are Stan or the kids going to get into a dangerous car crash?

Hephzie rubbed her sweaty forehead as she carefully watched Everest dig a hole. She knew Stan would complain about it later, but right now she didn't care. Let her dog play. Sensing her worry, Everest ran back to her and sat on her lap, his head on her knee. Hephzie petted him and wondered what she should do about the dream.

She considered not telling anyone. The Pines were worried enough as it is; why tell them that one of them might get hurt within twenty-four hours? Hephzie thought of how she would feel if Ford kept something like this from her (which he had a habit of doing) and her lips curled into a tiny smile.

 _"_ _Stanford Pines, you idiot!"_ She thought she would yell and smack him upside the head. _"_ _How DARE ya keep this from me! WHAT were ya thinkin'?! Even with twelve PhDs, you're still a moron!"_

Hephzie then tried to think of what Ford would say if he found out she had dreamt of Bill and not told anyone.

 _"_ _Hephzibah, why did you keep this from me?!"_ He'd most likely yell and possibly even grab her by the shoulders to get a good look at her. _"_ _You're such a hypocrite! You scold me like a child for having secrets, but you're just as bad!"_

Hephzie could practically see Ford's face; he'd be yelling as if he was mad, but his face would have told a different story. He'd probably be worried and upset, as she would be if the tables were turned. The temptation to give Ford a taste of his own medicine was great, but Hephzie's need to tell him was far greater.

Hephzie smiled and scratched Everest under his chin. Confidence radiating from her, she made up her mind and planned to tell Ford of her dream as soon as he woke up. She took advantage of her confidence and stood up, leaving Everest to sleep on the steps. Hephzie left the blanket by him and climbed up a nearby tree. She hung upside down from a branch for a moment before pulling herself back up without her arms, her hands on the back of her head.

As the sun rose, Hephzie trained. It had been awhile since she took the time to do so, but before the fire she had worked out every morning. After her sit-ups, she flipped down to the ground and stretched. She fenced with trees, ran a quick jog down to town and back to the Shack, and punched the totem pole a few times.

A quick shower was due and so Hephzie took one, allowing the hot water to run down her aching back as she closed her eyes and could recall the dream with less fear than before.

 _She was standing by her grandfather, both dressed in all black. Everyone else had left. It was just them in the rain by Grandma's tombstone. Hephzibah held an umbrella over their heads and looked over at Grandpa. He was the strongest man she ever knew, and there he was, crying silently and unashamedly for the love of his life._

 _Hephzibah used her free hands to grab one of his. Grandpa rubbed his thumb over the side of her hand to thank her, but his eyes did not leave his wife's name. They stood there for a few more minutes until Hephzibah sighed._

 _"Grandpa… we should head back, now." She looked next to her and was astounded to see that she was alone. "Grandpa?" Hephzibah called as she lowered her umbrella and closed it._

 _A second tombstone appeared and the leaves on the trees turned orange and yellow. The rain made them fall. Hephzibah's eyes widened at finding that she was indeed alone. She held her head and turned to go home. She started on her journey and tripped on a grave. She turned while soaked in mud and saw the name "Stanford Pines" glistening in the rain._

 _Hephzibah screamed and crawled away from it backwards. She looked around and recognized many of the names on the tombstones. Stanley, Mabel, Dipper, even Fiddleford and Madeline. They were all there, lying dead in boxes as their bodies deteriorated. They were now fully part of the universe's flow._

 _"No," Hephzibah whispered as tears flowed down from her cheeks, mixing with the rain. "No… no…"_

 _"Oh, yes, Sweet-Cheeks." A voice laughed from behind her. She refused to turn around and look at him. "You'll see this in the real world if ya don't make a deal with me!"_

 _"I won't!" Hephzibah yelled, hugging her knees as she stared at her best friend's name. "I'll NEVER make a deal with ya!"_

 _"C'mon, Hephzie." Bill said and put a hand on her shoulder. "It's just one little favor. Is it really worth all of these guys? Pinetree, Shooting Star, even S…"_

 _"SHUT UP!" Hephzibah shouted and covered her ears, shutting her eyes closed. "Just shut up n' leave me alone!"_

 _"Last chance, missy!" Bill warned and floated so he was in front of her. "Ya just need to hear by demands!"_

 _"What'll ya give me?" Hephzibah asked, her eyes still closed._

 _"Whatever you want!" Bill laughed. "Starting with these guys' lives!"_

 _"N' what do ya want?" The alchemist asked through gritted teeth._

 _"I want a vessel." The triangle stated plainly. "I'm trapped in the Mindscape; I've recently made a deal and now my powers are gone. I can only haunt a few Dream Realms and move an object or two in the Real World. I need a vessel."_

 _"Ya want my body?" Hephzibah guessed as she hugged her knees again. "Not gonna happen."_

 _"Oh, I don't want just any body, Sweet-Cheeks." Bill said with a blue eye._

 _Hephzibah finally opened her eyes and looked at the triangle. She finally understood. "No!" She yelled, not in anger, but of complete fear. "No! I can't!"_

 _"Oh, but you can!" Bill Cipher challenged and lifted a hand, ready to snap it's fingers. "And you will! I'll make you help me, one way or another!"_

 _He snapped his fingers and the rain froze in place. Drops floated in place and as the ground shook, huge cracks formed. Up crawled zombies of the underworld, but not just any corpses. Her grandparents, the McGuckets, the Pines, Soos and Wendy, even Hephzibah's mother rose from the dead with green, molding skin and yellow eyes. Hephzibah jumped up to her feet and backed away slowly as her loved ones moaned and shuffled towards her, covered in blood and a few guts spilling here and there. The scene was horrific; Bill only laughed over the chaos._

 _"I'll NEVER help ya, Cipher!" Hephzibah yelled and pointed to the demon._

 _"You'll eat those words before ya know it, Hephzibah Cece!" Bill threatened as he twirled his golden walking stick, cackling madly, his laughter ringing in Hephzie's ears._

 _Stanford grabbed her arm and she yelled in fear. His glasses were lopsided, his hair was falling out. He was bleeding from the mouth and his decaying corpse made Hephzibah's eyes water again._

 _"I'm sorry… I'm sorry…"_

 _He launched at her…_

… and she woke up.

Now she had her face buried in a towel. Hephzie had dried off and slipped back into her pajamas and sighed as she looked in the mirror. She grabbed a hairdryer and started to work on drying her locks. A long, tedious chore, allowing her to think about her dream with a clear head.

Bill wanted a vessel. He wanted a body. Ford and Hephzie had been researching all the day before and she personally theorized that Cipher was trapped in the Mindscape. He couldn't even go to his alternate dimension where his henchmen were thrown back into. It appeared it wasn't like before where he could possess or torture anyone. Not yet, anyways. Hephzie had summoned him, so he haunted her dreams. Ford summoned him, too, so was he haunting him as well? Who else had summoned Bill? Whoever did was in grave danger and needed to be weary of his temptation and deals.

Once her hair was dried, Hephzie tied it up in a high ponytail and left Stanford's bathroom and bedroom. Time for coffee. Mr. Mystery had already made a pot and was pouring himself a mug as he leaned against the counter. He wore his eye-patch under his glasses today. Hephzie noticed this and decided to being it up later.

"Mornin'."

"Hmph." Stan grunted. "Want some coffee?"

"Please."

Stan got down another mug and poured her some caffeinated-drink. He passed Hephzie the mug and she nodded in thanks before sitting at the table. Stan got down the sugar and powdered-creamer and sat them down. He pulled up a chair and started to fix his breakfast the way he wanted when Hephzie asked,

"Stan?"

He glanced up at her and then looked back down at his coffee as he poured in some creamer.

"Ever summoned Bill?" Her tone was calm and soft, and yet Stan jumped so bad he splashed coffee over the table.

He sat the mug down carefully and checked the sleeves of his suit to make sure he didn't get them dirty. "No," Stan growled. "I'm not an idiot like my brother."

"Or me?" Hephzie asked with a raised eyebrow.

Stan swallowed and was suspicious of her smacking him upside the head. She did not move, however, and the old conman crossed his arms over his chest. "Yeah, so?"

"Good." Hephzie said as she mixed in a spoonful of sugar into her coffee. "That just shows that you're a better man than anyone else in this house."

Stan relaxed a little and watched as Hephzie sipped her coffee, frowned, and added some creamer to her drink. No one had complimented him like that in a very long time.

"Ford told me what ya did." Hephzie mentioned calmly as she mixed her spoon in her coffee; the clicking and her voice were the only sounds that occupied the room. "What ya did… was the bravest thang anyone could've done."

Stan shrugged and grabbed his mug. "It was no big deal. My brain isn't good for anything." He mumbled, repeating the same words he had used in the pyramid-shaped cage.

"That's not true." Hephzie said sternly and sipped her coffee. When she lowered her mug, she said, "My Grandma used to say that when someone dies, a library burns to the ground. The same happens when ya forget. In my book, anyways."

Stan looked down at his coffee, but did not see it. Instead he saw the blue flames crawling up around him, encasing him, suffocating him. He had smiled, at peace with what was happening. Not today. Stan slammed his coffee down and growled, "It's not like it matters! Bill's still out there somewhere, and as far as we know, he could come from me!"

"We don't know that." Hephzie said firmly and leaned forward on the table, peering at Mr. Mystery from the opposite side of the table.

"Yeah, right." Stan said in a low voice, refusing to look at her, and he stood up and headed for the hall.

Hephzie knew she had to stomp it out right then and there. She got up, grabbed Stan by the neck of his suit, kicked a chair around, and shoved him into it, then put a hand on the back of the chair and leaned forward so Stan couldn't get up unless he shoved Hephzie out of his way. He leaned against the back of the chair to create some space between them and stared at her deadly glare. No wonder Sixer was always intimidated by her.

"Wanna explain to me why your patch is under your glasses, not over?" Hephzie snarled.

Stan scowled at her. "No."

So quick he didn't see her do it, Hephzie pulled off the eye-patch and held it behind her back, revealing a piece of cloth that had been taped over Stan's right eye. A few drops of blood told her what she needed to know.

"What is it with ya Pines men?!" Hephzie complained as she grabbed a paper-towel and pulled up a chair next to him, lifting his glasses up his forehead. "Ya think ya have to do everythin' on your own, but ya don't have to!" Hephzie carefully removed the makeshift bandage and threw it in the trash can. Blood immediately began to drip down his cheek and so she gently started to wipe it away, her other hand holding Stan by the chin so he couldn't move. "Ya can rely on people. Ya can trust your family, like Dipper n' Mabel. Like Soos n' Wendy. Like me n' your brother."

Though she managed to wipe under and around his eye clean, fresh blood kept seeping out, so Hephzie clapped her hands and placed one on the right side of Stan's head, using her alchemy to heal the torn vessels. His eye stopped bleeding and so she resumed cleaning his eye so the pain would leave him.

Meanwhile, Stan was thinking about what she had said. Hephzie was right. He could trust his family. He had always kept secrets and done things on his own. He had lived alone nearly all of his life. The last words he said to his parents were how he didn't need anyone, but the truth was that he did. He needed to lean on others; it got tiring to stand alone after a while. Stan looked at Hephzie (with his left eye, of course) as she cared for him and he smiled a little. Stan's pride didn't usually allow him to be taken care of like this; he wished it would, because it felt nice.

"Guess it runs in the family." He said with a shrug.

Hephzie rolled her eyes with her lips curled upward. "Ya really are Ford's brother."

"Did the whole identical-twin-thing not give ya a clue?" Stan teased.

Hephzie threw away the dirty paper-towel and grabbed another one, but ran this one under the sink for a moment. "Oh, please. I could tell ya apart from a mile away."

"Liar."

"Could, too!" Hephzie laughed as she sat back down. She quickly drank some coffee before resuming her work. "I'm sorry, but Bill must be dumber than I thought if he fell for that ole trick."

"Oh, what, like you could do better?" Stan chuckled and blindly grabbed his coffee.

Hephzie let paused her job so he could drink and said slyly, "Ya didn't fool me thirty years ago n' ya can't fool me now."

"Alright, Wise-Gal." Stan challenged and lowered his mug. Hephzie wiped some dry blood from under his eye and he said, "I'll keep that in mind."

Hephzie stood up and threw the paper-towel away. She washed her hands and said, "'K, ya should be good. How's it feel?"

Stan blinked a few times and rubbed his eye a little to loosen it's stiffness. "Feels fine." In truth, it felt much better than it had felt in over twenty-four hours. The whole time it bled his eye had stung and ached terribly, and his head had pounded like a drum. It was certainly more comfortable and easier to think now. Stan put his glasses back on, checked his watch and stood up to go to work. Hephzie sat back down to finish her coffee, but just as he reached the doorway, Stan glanced back at her and said, "And… thanks."

Hephzie smiled into her mug and said, "Anytime, Grumpy."

Stan sneered at her and headed to the gift shop to open up for the day. Hephzie sat at the table, waiting for Ford to come up for coffee so she could talk to him. However, as morning turned to noon, Hephzie grew impatient and sighed. Dumping out the rest of the coffee, she did the breakfast dishes and decided that she could tell Ford about her dream on their date.


	13. Wkh Gdwh

Ford examined his appearance once more in the bathroom mirror while Mabel grinned at him proudly. He had exchanged his turtleneck and trenchcoat for a dark green dress-shirt and a black sweater-vest. He had gone the extra mile and used some after shave after setting his face on fire, and even sprayed on some extra cologne. Ford messed with the folds of his shirt and made sure it covered his neck well. He ran a hand through his gray hair and wondered if he should have cut it.

"You look amazing!" Mabel awed.

"I'd like to think I clean up well, my dear." Ford said as he took off his glasses and cleaned them, careful not to crack them more than they already were. Ford put his glasses back on and, out of habit, tried to put his hands in his trenchcoat, only to be reminded that he was not wearing it. He glanced over at his favorite coat that hung from a hook on the wall and decided to wear it after all. Ford slipped it on and popped the collar up the way he liked it, and he found it went alright with the outfit. He put his hands in his pockets and was pleased with the way he looked.

Mabel did not oppose. She knew how he felt; imagine if someone had asked her not to wear her homemade sweaters! She grinned and clung to his arm, looking at their reflection in the mirror.

"Thank you, Mabel." Ford said full-heartedly. "Now, is everything ready?

Mabel nodded and let go of her uncle's arm. "The bike's hiding outside and it's almost six."

"Perfect." Ford opened the bathroom door and Mabel ran down the hall and outside to get the motorcycle ready.

The old scientist took in a deep breath and headed for his bedroom. He was just about to knock on the door when it opened at Hephzie's hand. She looked like she was going to get Ford and she smiled when she saw her date. She was wearing dark bell-bottom jeans and black boots, as usual, but she wore a new red blouse with flowing sleeves and a black leather jacket. Hiding behind her jacket was her scabbard. Ford couldn't help but smile at that and agreed with Hephzie's suspicions; his ray gun was hiding in his coat pocket.

Hephzie finished attaching a golden hoop to one of her ears and said, "Hey. Ready?"

"As I'll ever be." Ford said and held up his arm.

Hephzie took it and walked with him down the hall. They happen to pass the kitchen and saw Stan starting to make spaghetti.

Ford stopped and called to his brother, "Only make enough for three, Stanley. Hephzibah and I are going out for dinner."

The old conman spun around in his undershirt and boxers and whistled at the dressed-up couple. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do, ya crazy kids." Stan teased, pointing at them and winking.

"I think I crossed that line when I got a date." Hephzie sneered back.

Ford laughed so hard tears filled his eyes. He could hardly see himself opening the door for Hephzie, but he quickly blinked his eyes clear so he could see her reaction to his little surprise. It wasn't until she stepped off the porch when she saw the shining new motorcycle waiting for them.

Hephzie jaw dropped at the vehicle. It looked like her old cruiser; it's engine sparkled, it's wheels were squeaky-clean, it's handles and seat had been polished. Hanging from the handles were two new biker-helmets. Hephzie went over to it and circled it, tracing her fingers over the new bike as she admired it from every angle. On top of it all, she noticed that the seat was slightly bigger than normal and that there were weapons carefully concealed throughout the whole motorcycle. She saw the lasers under the handles, and were those rockets?!

"I hope you don't mind that I'm making you the designated driver." Ford said and pulled out a key ringed with a golden H keychain. He tossed it to her and she caught it with her right hand.

Hephzie slipped it on one of her fingers and continued to observe the motorcycle. "Did ya… build this?" She guessed.

Ford rubbed his neck and said, "Yes, well, I thought since it's my fault you lost your old one that I could give you a new one. Do you like it?"

Hephzie walked around the motorcycle some more until she was next to Ford. Giving him a sly smile first, she grabbed his cleft chin and kissed him lightly on the lips. He froze and hardly heard her say, "I love it. Thanks, Fordsie."

He was still in shock while Hephzie grabbed her helmet and clipped it on. Ford gently bit his lip. Did it always use to feel like that? He didn't think so, but…

"Ford, we goin' or not?" Hephzie called as she sat on the motorcycle and kicked up the stand that kept it from tipping over.

Ford gave his head a little shake and sat behind her. As he put on his helmet, Hephzibah put the key in the ignition and listened to the engine roar blissfully.

"Good Lord, I've missed this." Hephzie swore happily as she twisted the handle and made the motorcycle sing. "Where to, sir?"

"The Sea Sponge." Ford answered and gently put his arms around her waist.

"You'll have to hang on tighter than that." Hephzie warned and made the tires squeal on the dirt road before speeding away from the Shack.

"Whoa!" Ford yelled and held on for dear life.

Going sixty on a thirty, the two sped down the dirt road tourist took for the attraction. The trees flashed by them and any creature that had a desire to live would stay off the road. Hephzie yelled into the orange and pink air with delight and Ford found his worry was soon gone. He trusted her and the smile on her face was well worth all of his hard work.

Hephzie slowed down to the speed limit when they exited the woods and passed the downtown area for the outer-ring of Gravity Falls where nicer buildings were, like the Gravity Malls and other shops and stores; a few minutes away laid the interstate, so it can easily be understood why so many companies flourished in this area of the town. A few blocks away from the mall sat The Sea Sponge. Hephzie parked and let the engine rest as she took the key out of the ignition and pocketed it. She clicked her buckle and removed her helmet to free her high-ponytail.

"That felt great!" Hephzie complimented as Ford took off his helmet and ruffled his hair free. "Thanks again for the motorcycle. I still can't believe ya built it."

"Well, I can't take all the credit." Ford admitted as he led the way inside.

"That niece of yours egged ya on, didn't she?" Hephzie guessed.

Ford opened the door for her and chuckled. "No, the motorcycle was my idea, she just helped me go through with it and put it together."

"Ya've got some gurl on your hands, Fordsie."

Ford smiled and made a mental note to thank Mabel for everything she's done. Maybe he'll take her out for ice-cream or make her a sweater for a change. He asked for a table for two and the couple were seated accordingly.

By the time drinks and appetizers were ordered and served, Hephzie was trying not to laugh into her clam chowder as Ford finished a hilarious story from one of his many adventures over the years, exploring the multiverse and visiting other dimensions. She stopped some soup from dripping down her chin with a napkin and her laughter was contagious, as it made Ford laugh so hard his eyes watered again.

"Ya can't be serious?!" Hephzie laughed.

"I'm serious, a whole dimension made up of the letter M!" Ford answered as he picked his fork back up and started to play with his shrimp salad.

"I bet Mabel would've loved that dimension."

"You're probably right." He agreed before taking a bite of the crisp salad. "Any stories to tell?" Ford asked, a bit tired of doing most of the entertaining.

Hephzie shrugged and grabbed one of the cheddar biscuits. "Not really. My life's been painfully borin'."

"I wish I knew what that was like." Ford muttered into his fork.

"Ha! Nah, ya don't." Hephzie said as she tore her fluffy biscuit in half and pointed at her date. "Well, there's that time I saved Everest."

"Yeah, how did you meet him?"

"I was out for a walk when I saw a truck speedin' down the road." Hephzie told as she snacked on her bread. "I walked on n' saw a little puppy, about eight weeks old, lyin' n' bleedin'. I ran to his side n' healed him as best I could, but he was starvin' n' so weak from the blood loss, so I scooped him up n' took him home. I nursed him back to health n' he's been with me ever since."

"He's a good dog." Ford complimented.

Hephzie smiled and ate the last half of her biscuit. "Yeah, he's a good boy. He's always been there for me." She looked up and said seriously, "I never really thanked ya for openin' your home to us, so… thanks."

Ford blushed slightly and played with a shrimp on his salad. "Of course. I wasn't going to let you and Everest live on the streets." Ford felt his gut squirm in guilt of thinking of his brother. He had made the mistake of turning his back when someone needed help, a place to stay, a home. He had managed to selfishly convince himself that he had made up for it by providing Stan a place to stay for thirty years, but more guilt had always surfaced at remembering how he nearly kicked him out of the shack. Ford was determined to make things right with Stan (which he had somehow managed to do) and never repeat those horrible actions to anyone.

Hephzie dipped her spoon in her bowl and was about to take a bite, but she lowered her utensil and left it in the bowl. She had almost lost Everest in that fire. She had lost her home, all of her grandparents' things, her store, and every piano in it. It was all gone forever. All because she wouldn't make a deal. She had said "no" once again, and now everyone was in danger. She needed to be honest with Ford. "Stanford," Hephzie said solumley and he looked up from his appetizer. "There's somethang I should tell ya."

Ford lowered his fork and gave Hephzie his full attention.

"I…"

"Grilled Salmon?" The waiter asked as he brought the couple their dinner.

"Right here." Ford said and he moved his salad to make room for the main course.

"And the Shrimp Alfredo?"

"That's me." Hephzie said and her pasta was placed in front of her. "Thanks."

"More cheddar biscuits?" The waiter asked with a French accent. "I'll be back with some more water."

"Thank you." Ford said politely and looked at Hephzie as she played with her pasta. She looked upset and he privately wished the waiter would leave so she would say what was on her mind.

" _Oui, oui,_ very good." Jean-Luc said and backed away to get more water.

"Now," Ford said as he straightened the napkin on his lap. "You were saying, my dear?"

Hephzie blinked and looked back up at him. "Right. Well… ya see, last night… I…"

The waiter returned and poured them some water as he spoke. "More biscuits will be along any minute now, Madam et Moisture."

"Thanks." Ford said in a low voice as he watched Hephzie distract herself by taking a sip of water and starting on her shrimp alfredo. Something big must be bothering her if she was so slow to say it; she usually didn't have an issue saying what was on her mind.

The waiter finally left and Ford cleared his throat.

"Look," Hephzie said as she forked a piece of shrimp and stared at it, lost in thought, "Last night I drea…"

"And here we are!" The waiter said triumphantly as he placed a new basket of biscuits down between them, making Ford hold his head and place an elbow on the table. "Fresh out of the oven!"

" _Merci, Moisture_." Hephzie said coldly.

"Do you require anything else?"

"No." Ford snapped at him.

"Oui, oui!" The waiter said and bowed away from the table.

Ford pinched the bridge of his nose and said, "Please, Hephzibah, you can tell me whatever it is that's bothering you."

"Looks, it's just I..." Hephzie said cautiously and looked him dead in the eye. "I had a dream with Bill in it."

Ford leaned forward so he could talk in a slightly quieter voice, his eyes wide with shock and his jaw clenched. "You did? Was it just an illusion, or do you think it was real?"

"I'm pretty sure it was real." Hephzie down at the transmutation circle on her left hand, which was lying on the table. "He tried to make a deal with me, but I said 'no'."

Ford looked down at her left hand and covered it with his right. Hephzie looked up at him and their eyes met once more. "I'm so sorry, Hephzibah." Ford said gravely. "Do you have any idea what he wants from you?"

Hephzie looked away to display her toughness. She was no damsel in distress; she could take care of herself. She was only telling Ford so he'd have his guard up. "He told me. He told me what he wants."

"And?" Ford asked gently, giving her hand a gentle squeeze.

"It doesn't matter. I won't do it." Hephzie said coldly.

"Hephzibah," Ford took her left hand into both of his own and held it up with his elbows on the table. Hephzie looked up at him once more and found his eyes were begging her to tell him everything. "Please."

"Stanford…"

Her eyes darted to a flying knife that was heading right for him. She leaped across the table and threw them both down. The knife was so strong it hit a wall and wiggled in its place. Hephzie had knocked Ford off of his chair and now they laid on the floor with the table on it's side, their dinner spilling over the tiles.

Hephzie held herself up above Ford's chest as he rubbed the back of his head and adjusted his glasses. "Did it getcha?" The old alchemist asked, her voice almost as sharp as the knife while her eyes scanned for any signs of an injury.

"No," The polydactyl scientist moaned and sat up.

Hephzie sat on her knees next to him and looked back at the butcher's knife that nearly stabbed the old genius. She held her chest and found her heart beating rapidly. Ford could have died…

"Sweet Sarsaparilla!" The chef said in the back of the kitchen.

Jean-Luc ran to them and helped the woman up first and then the man. He and the manager apologize over and over again as they cleaned up the mess and explained what happened. Apparently a chef was walking with the butcher's knife when he slipped on some grease and fell, throwing the knife and it flew out the kitchen door and into the dining room. Hephzie was quiet as Ford accepted the apology and assured the men that all was well. None of them were hungry anymore, so the meal was on the house and the two left.

Hephzie walked out the door first and put on her helmet without looking or talking to Ford.

He sighed. "Hephzibah."

"Ya could've died." Her voice did not sound shaky or weak. She was merely stating a fact.

"But you saved me." Ford reminded her as they sat down on the motorcycle.

"What if I didn't see it comin', Fordsie?" Hephzie asked as she started the engine. "What if I wasn't there? What am I supposed to do with myself if ya got hurt?" She wasn't scared. If anything, she sounded angry.

"Nothing's going to happen to me." Ford said firmly as he put on his helmet.

"What about Mabel or Dipper?" Hephzie challenged in a low growl as she drove them out of the parking lot. "What about your brother?"

As Ford held Hephzie around the waist he thought about her questions. They weighed him down so much already, and to hear them being asked out loud didn't help his uneasiness. "That's not going to happen." He said firmly to try to cool Hephzie down.

"Maybe I should accept his d…"

"NO!"

Hephzie jumped so bad she slammed on the breaks and made the two jolt forward, hitting her chest on the handles and Ford's face smashed into her back.

Ford rubbed his nose and said, "Hephzibah Cece, you can't do that!"

"Why not?!" She yelled and glared back at him as she drove down the road. "If it'll save your family…"

"I've had enough of people sacrificing themselves because of that three-sided devil!" Ford yelled with a cracked voice. Hephzie had to stop at a red light and so she took the opportunity to look at him as he said, "I almost lost Stanley. I won't lose you, too."

"Hey," Hephzie snapped and managed a small smile. "You're stuck with me, ya got it?"

The light turned green and she was forced to turn back around and drive. Ford held onto her gently. "I got it." He paused for a moment, and then bravely asked, "What does he want from you?"

Hephzie glanced over her shoulder and said, "Let's go somewhere private first."

She drove the motorcycle down into the forest and started to head for the Floating Cliff. Several minutes were spent in silence as they raced on the dirt road. The moon shone brightly above them in the dark, lighting their way. The sun had just set, making the sky not yet pitch black, but a dark blue like the ink of a pen. Ford admired the views around him as the woods started to scatter and they reached the cliff. Below them, about a two-hour hike down, was Crash Site Omega. He used to go down there for parts, but tonight he would not venture for the alien spacecraft.

Hephzie stopped the motorcycle on a clearing and took off her helmet. Just as Ford did so as well, she took one of his hands and intertwined her fingers in his. He smiled and allowed her to lead the way towards the cliff. The view was amazing; Ford had once stood there with a journal in hand as he sketched the Floating Cliff and it's bridge. Now he stood there hand-in-hand with his date, the warm summer breeze playing with their hair and clothes, the stars twinkling above, the creatures of the night singing their song.

"Ya know," Hephzie said quietly. "I really missed ya when ya were gone."

Ford stepped closer to her and looked out at the crash site. "I missed you, too." It was true. He had encountered many dark creatures and mythical beings on his journeys, but every so often he had thought back to the people he cared about, like his mother, Fiddleford, Shermie, Stan, and Hephzie. "I know I don't say it enough, Hephzie," Ford said guiltily as he rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand. "But… I really do care about you."

"I care about ya, too, Fordsie." Hephzie said and looked up at him from the side. "Which is why I need to warn ya."

Ford nodded, understanding. Keeping things secret would not insure his loved ones' safety. He used to believe that it would, but not anymore. He and Hephzie both understood that they needed to prepare everyone. They needed to work together. It hurt to inflict so much pain on the people they cared about, but they had to, or risk losing them.

"I told ya years ago that medical alchemy has a dark underbelly, an evil side to it that a lot of people over the centuries've toyed n' experimented with." Hephzie started to explain, her voice heavy as if all of her problems were weighted on it. "What I didn't tell ya was how many people've died 'cuz of my art. How many souls've been sold or torn apart, how many evil acts've been done all so the secrets of alchemy can be uncovered n' the full knowledge of the universe can be captured." Hephzie leaned on Ford's right side and went on. "There's a reason alchemy has a bad name. There's a reason why my tattoos were seen as the devil's work. There's a reason why they called me a witch n' never gave me a chance to help people. It's because people've exploited my art throughout history n' spilt blood, makin' it flow like rivers."

"But you never did that." Ford reasoned as he put his left arm around her. He did indeed remember a few times when he would ask his friend about alchemy and Hephzie would excitedly tell him so much to an extent, but at a certain point she'd shut off, much like what Ford would do with his line of work. "You'd never use alchemy to hurt anyone."

"No, never," Hephzie agreed solemnly. "But Bill wants me to."

"What does he want you to do?"

"Did ya know that there's one taboo in alchemy?"

"No." Ford answered patiently.

"Ya remember the Law of Equivalent Exchange?"

Ford nodded. "In order to obtain something, something of equal value must be given."

"Than answer me this..." Hephzie requested and tore her strained eyes away from the valley and looked up at the man she longed to protect and help. "What equals the value of a soul?"

Ford was astounded by her riddle. He looked down at her with wide eyes and saw that she was deadly serious. The only thing he could think of that would be of equal value to a human soul was… well, another human soul. "So… you're saying… he wants you to break a taboo?" Ford asked slowly. "What exactly is the taboo?"

"Alchemy's one n' only unforgivable sin…" Hephzie said as she looked out at the valley, unable to bear how shocked Ford was. He must think of her as some evil monster after hearing this. "... is human-transmutation."

Ford let go of her hand to grab her by the shoulders and turn her so she fully faced him. "Is that what you do? Human-transmutations?"

"Not in the way you're thinkin'." Hephzie said calmly and turned her head to the cliff to see a squirrel running along the edge. "I am like that squirrel." She pointed out and Ford watched it, not letting Hephzie go. "I've been teeterin' on the edge. I've used it to help people, but I know my boundaries. I'm well aware of what I can n' can't do. I've never pushed forward."

The squirrel stepped on a loose rock and it started to fall down into the cliff, but it jumped on the ledge and caught itself. It crawled back onto the cliff and ran for the woods. The two humans watched it go.

"Bill wants you to walk off the cliff." Ford muttered to himself before turning his attention back to Hephzie. "Why? What does he want you to do?"

"He wants a vessel. He can't enter into our world without a body. He can't even possess people anymore. He needs…" And she trailed off.

"He wants you to make a human body." Ford said gravely. "He wants you to transmute him into a body so he can enter our world again."

Hephzie looked up at him and braced for impact. She expected for him to yell, either about how insane Bill was or how foolish she was to even pick up the art all those years ago. She prepared for him to shout, hold his head, think of a plan, let out his fears and anger out on her. She wouldn't even be surprised if he blamed her for Bill coming back; if she wasn't around to transmute than Bill might have given up, and Ford and his family wouldn't have to go through all of this one more time.

Hephzie glared at him, silently demanding for a reaction and for Ford to quit being so stoic. Her face was stern and her eyes were hard. Ford saw right through her lies and saw that, in the windows of her soul, she was afraid. Hephzie was afraid of him. Afraid of rejection, afraid of being blamed. Had Ford really been so horrible to her? He frowned for a moment before pulling her into a tight hug.

Her eyes were wide and could hardly see over Ford's shoulder as he held her close. He had one arm around her upper-back and the other in her sweet smelling hair. He had his chin gently resting on her shoulder and his eyes were closed to keep all distractions away. For one moment, the world wasn't against them; it existed for them. It all existed just so they could have this moment before it all fell apart and was lost forever.

Hephzie hugged him back, her arms around his torso, and she buried her face into his dress-shirt. She could feel his strong muscles and breathe in his cologne. His chest rose and fell. She was grateful for that. He was here. After all those years, he was here to comfort her and tell her without words that she wasn't alone. Ford noticed how her hands sized his trenchcoat fiercely; he pondered if she was afraid he would leave if her hold wasn't tight enough. Ford slowly kissed the back of Hephzie's neck to assure her that he wasn't going anywhere.

Hephzie was selfish; she didn't want just a kiss on the neck. She distanced herself only enough so they were face-to-face. Ford saw that she had a funny look. It was not anger, fear nor sadness. It was longing. Ford was selfish, too. He didn't just want a hug or quick peck on the lips to show gratitude. Hephzie removed a hand from Ford's back and placed it gently on his cheek. She grazed her thumb over his shadow, her lips slightly parted.

Both pulling him closer and moving towards him, Hephzie gave Ford a kiss. He was soft. Soft yet strong, just like she had remembered him. His hands were strong and kept her close, his lips were soft and warm. Stanford Pines was a man to behold, and she intended to do so.

Ford kept one hand just above her neck, buried in her black dreadlocks, and the other compassionately on her upper-back. Her curves fitted perfectly against his body. Her hands paired impeccably with his. Her lips accommodated sweetly on his. He had found a part of himself that had been missing. Throughout the years he had found said lost pieces of himself in his family. His brother, his niece and nephew, they made him feel whole. They made a broken, scarred man like Ford feel complete, as did Hephzie.

She removed her lips from his and kissed his cheek and chin before pulling away. He leaned forward for more and she allowed it. Hephzie moved her hand down his cheek and around to the back of his neck. She ran her fingers slowly over his flocculent, gray hair. Ford deepened their kiss and Hephzie not only allowed it but encouraged it, kissing him back. Ford only finished their kiss due to the sad fact that he needed air.

He opened his eyes to find Hephzie's shining. There was love in her eyes and a tiny smile across her face, though it was hard to see in the dark. Ford tried to smile, but he was in awe of how beautiful she was. Not just in appearance, but in her personality and how she could make him feel.

This feeling in Ford's gut… it wasn't like before. It wasn't animal-instincts that had kept him alive while exiled from his home dimension. It wasn't an illness. It wasn't even fear. Ford had never felt this way in his entire life. And he didn't ever want this feeling to go away.

Hephzie beamed and ruffled his hair playfully. He grinned back and hugged her tightly, sneaking in a kiss on the cheek. Hephzie met her lips with his for another long kiss, which Ford was happy to partake in. For a split second it was like they were young again. Time was waning on them; they weren't as young as they used to be and they both knew it. However, for one night, they were foolish young adults that were in love.


	14. Summerween

As the kings of trick-or-treating, Dipper and Mabel had a lot to live up to now as teenagers. Could they go trick-or-treating? Probably, just not as long as they did previously. Could they dress up? Absolutely! But as what? And what were their plans for the unusual holiday? For Halloween back in California, they had dressed up for a midnight premiere for The Famish Games. Sadly there were no special movies coming out for Summerween, but they had been invited to a party, once again hosted by Tambry. Mabel still wanted to go trick-or-treating, so she and her brother compromised.

The deal was they could trick-or-treat until the party, just long enough to get some candy and see the town all decked-out for the made-up holiday, then it was straight to the party. Mabel knitted herself a black sweater with a white P on the front and wore a black skirt and grey headband with a soil shaker for her costume. Dipper had slipped on a white t-shirt with a black S written in sharpie on the front; he reluctantly wore his matching shaker-hat made of aluminum foil. A bit simple this year, but at least it followed the twins' theme.

Dipper and Mabel ran down the stairs laced with candles and were met with an excited Saint Bernard, who jumped up on the two and tried to lick their faces.

"Everest!" Dipper laughed.

Mabel nearly escaped the dog and looked around for her pig. "Where's Waddles?" The poor pet walked in from the living room with another costume on. Last year he was a businessman; this year he was a mailman. Mabel picked Waddles up and hugged him tightly. "Delivering nothing but unconditional love through rain or snow!" She looked down at Everest as Dipper scratched his chin and saw that he was without an outfit. "Hey, where's Everest's costume?"

"Doesn't need one." A voice called from the living room.

Mabel turned to find Hephzie sitting in the armchair, her back against one arm and her legs over the other. She didn't wear a costume, either, instead wearing black leggings, fuzzy red socks, and a new sweater Mabel had knitted for her; it was dark green and had a red jack-o-lantern face, representing a jack-o-melon. Hephzie had a big bowl of candy next to her and a bowl full of popcorn in her lap as she watched TV.

"Hephzie, where's your costume?!" Mabel cried out in panic at seeing her friend.

"Imma jack-o-melon, obviously," Hephzie teased before glancing at her and Dipper's costumes; Everest finally got off of Dipper and sat by the armchair, waiting for some popcorn to fall. "But your costumes look great! Salt n' Pepper."

"C'mon, where's your Summerween spirit?" Mabel asked.

"Hey, I've got plenty of spirit! I'm watchin' some of the best movies for the season!"

The teenagers looked at the screen and saw an old black-and-white movie with a doctor and his experiment. Mabel groaned and rolled her eyes.

"Plus, I'm gonna be handin' out candy tonight." Hephzie added and ate some popcorn.

Grunkle Stan walked in from the kitchen wearing torn and bloody clothes. He had painted his face a slight shade of green and some red paint was splashed on his chin to symbolize blood dripping from his mouth. "Good thing, too! Thanks to her I'm free to scare the whole town, not just the kids who come to the Shack!" He laughed menacingly.

"If ya get arrested, I'm not bailin' ya out." Hephzie warned and threw a piece of popcorn down to Everest, who caught it and munched happily.

Stan headed for the door and soon the sounds of screeching tires could be heard as he sped away to cause panic. When he had walked away, Everest had followed him out the door and sat on the porch, watching him leave. Just then, Grunkle Ford came up from the basement and walked into the hallway to see his niece and nephew.

"Great costumes, kids!" He complimented. Tonight Ford looked a lot like he did when he first came out of the portal: all dressed in black (black turtleneck and trenchcoat rather than torn clothes) and he had night-vision goggles hanging from his neck and a blaster behind his back.

"Oo!" Mabel awed. "You look great, too, Grunkle Ford! What is it, FBI? CIA? Ghostharassers?"

Ford laughed and ruffled her hair. "Sorry, my dear, I'm not dressed up this year. I've got a mission tonight."

"Really?" Dipper asked.

"I've been detecting some strange activity that indicate a new monster roaming around Gravity Falls." Ford explained. "With so many people out tonight it's best I deal with it immediately and try to contain it."

"Cool! Can we help?" Dipper offered excitedly.

"I'm afraid not, Dipper." Ford said seriously as he pulled out a gun and made sure it was fully loaded; it was not unlike his favored ray-based weaponry, but it launched bullets rather than beams of heat. "If I'm correct, this monster is highly dangerous. Besides, you two have a party to go to!" Ford added with a smile and pocketed the weapon under his coat.

"And trick-or-treating!" Mabel reminded him and grabbed a bag from the coat-rack and opened the door.

Once she had, Everest sped inside and jumped on Ford, barking and standing on his hind legs, his front paws on the old man's chest.

"Whoa, easy, boy." Ford said as he tried to push the dog off of him.

Everest kept barking and ran to Hephzie, barking at her as she turned off the TV. "Hush, Everest." Hephzie scolded lightly as she sat up in the armchair. Everest hopped up on Hephzie's knees and then back down and for the door. He did not scratch at it, rather bark at it warningly.

"What's up with Everest?" Dipper asked.

"Must've seen somethin' he didn't like." Hephzie assumed while she walked towards the door. She checked the window and said, "Oh, one kid's wearin a mask that must've spooked him."

Hephzie opened the door and gave out candy to the kids; one wore a Satan-mask. Once the door was open Everest sat quietly by Hephzie's feet and watched as each of the children got some candy and left.

"Right, well I'm off." Ford said and walked out the door as Hephzie held it open for him. Everest suddenly grabbed the end of his black trenchcoat with his mouth and pulled, trying to keep the man from walking out the door. Ford looked down and tried to pull the dog away, but he was persistent and only bit down harder. "Everest, let go!" Ford yelled, hesitant as he pulled away, not wanting to rip his coat.

"Aw, he doesn't want you to go!" Mabel cooed.

Hephzie got on her knees and prided the Saint Bernard's mouth open, releasing the fabric. "Everest, let go! Ya can take him if ya want, Fordsie; it's up to ya." Hephzie added and glanced up at Ford.

"I doubt he'd be much help."

" _O contraire_ , he's an amazing guard dog, and he's trained to handle any medical emergency and track." Hephzie informed him. Her small smile dropped and she added in a quiet voice, "I'd feel better if ya took him."

Ford looked down at the dog in Hephzie's hold. He didn't really feel like dogsitting tonight. He wasn't letting anyone know this, but he was concerned about whatever might be out there. From what the scientist could gather so far, this wasn't going to be an easy chore, but he had to agree that it might be helpful to have such a loyal dog on his side tonight. Saint Bernards are known to be excellent trackers. Unable to deny the facts and Hephzie's request, he sighed and said, "Very well. Come along, Everest."

"Take care of Dumb-Dumb, Everest." Hephzie told her dog.

Everest licked her cheek goodbye before running out of the house. Ford followed him at his own pace and Dipper and Mabel left for trick-or-treating.

"Now y'all be careful!" Hephzie called ahead as more kids approached the porch for sweets.

"We will!" Mabel hollered back and ran with Dipper down the road.

Ford waved back to her as he started to walk into the woods. It was already dark outside, but there was enough light in the night to make out what he needed. The moon was full tonight and led the way.

Ford looked down at the big dog walking next to him and said, "Full moon, eh?"

Of course the dog didn't answer. Ford slipped on his night-vision goggles and started to look for any sign of the monster he was looking for. Several scratches, bloodstains, and stray strands of fur have led him to believe that some kind of new monster was roaming around the forest. He had seen them while on his date with Hephzie just the other night and since then he had taken several nature-walks in the morning, always finding new traces of the creature.

Ford was unsure if this was Bill's work or not. It seemed unlikely - Gravity Falls will always be weird, with or without Bill - but he still wanted to take care of the issue before someone got hurt. He saw some claw-marks on a tree and traced them over with his hand. The cuts were deep, but not enough to cute the thin tree down. Everest sniffed at the tree, reminding Ford that Hephzie had said that the dog was trained to track.

"Everest," Ford said clearly and the dog looked up at him.

Ford ripped off some of the damaged bark and got on one knee. He held it out for Everest to sniff and he did so. Immediately he walked around and sniffed the ground and the air for any sign of the monster. He started to walk away from Ford, and so he got up and followed the dog. Everest seemed unsure of the scent, turning here and there as he tried to pick up the trail. He lifted his head and sniffed the air carefully, and then went back to Ford and sniffed the bark in his fist. Everest resumed his search and led the hunt forward.

"Good boy, Everest." Ford said quietly and smiled. "If you help me find the creature, I'll buy you your own stake."

The Saint Bernard and the human walked on through the forest, as silent as a ghost and just as invisible. Everest led them by a river and they walked along it. The waters trickled over rocks and it sparkled in the moonlight, though no animals drank from it. Everest stopped and growled, the fur on the back of his neck standing up and his teeth as bared as his sagging muzzle would let him.

"Easy, boy, easy." Ford said in a low voice as he pulled out a gun and cocked it.

Everest did not move further on, so Ford took the lead and walked closer to whatever had caught the dog's eye. Ford's goggles allowed him to see a deer lying by the river, it's dead body mangled and torn. Whatever had killed it not only ate it, but played with it's food. Any other man would gag or even throw up, but Ford had seen worse in the other dimensions, but he did find that his throat was tight and he didn't exactly enjoy the smell of iron that filled the forest. He looked down at Everest and watched as he looked around the woods, on the hunt for whatever killed the deer.

Everest sniffed the air, but it was too thick with the scent of blood. Ford patted his head and led the way down the river. Everest walked beside him and heightened all of his senses to help the man. Ford looked down at this and smiled. Having Hephzie move into the Mystery Shack proved to be a smart decision and had many benefits. Hephzie often helped with chores and even ran the register in the Gift Shop every so often so Wendy could run off with her friends, meanwhile Everest was a quiet animal and could usually be found sleeping on the back porch or playing with Waddles. Once or twice he had climbed up on Ford's lap, nearly crushing the old man, and so he had to be shooed off, but was perfectly happy to rest his head on Ford's knee. Everest truly was a good dog. The last time Ford had a pet it had tried to kill him. Throughout the years, he had come across many different creatures - some more like pets than others - but none of which stuck around long or could compare to a dog.

Ford looked back up at the surrounding woods and focused on the mission. For another hour or so they hunted for the beast. Every once and awhile Ford would let Everest sniff the bark, but they had yet to find anything. Of course, Ford had expected this. He knew finding the monster would take time, possibly a few nights. That didn't make the lack of results any less disappointing.

Everest suddenly stopped when they reached a clearing away from the small river. He growled deeply and lowered himself onto the ground, ready to pounce if needed. Ford aimed his gun and stared at the scene before him, his eyes wide with both fear and wonder.

It stood on all fours, it's back hunched and it's fur standing on all ends, making it look bigger than it was. When it turned it's head to the travellers, Ford saw yellow-glowing eyes. It had razor sharp teeth, all of which were visible as his muzzle crunched up and it growled fiercer than Everest. Blood dripped from it's mouth and it took a step away from the corpse of a bear.

Everest stood in front of Ford and growled at the monster dangerously. Ford pointed his gun at it and marveled at the creature. It ran for them, but Ford was quicker than Everest and shot at it. It stumbled as the bullet grazed it's shoulder and it snarled at being shot at. Ford shot again and again, but it ran to the side and disappeared into the tree. The old scientist knew it would try to attack from behind and spun around to try to find it. Before he could do anything about it, Everest ran after it into the woods.

"NO! Everest!"

Ford ran after him and ignored the branches that blocked his way and scratched him. He was running into a deeper, darker part of the forest. His heart pounded in his chest and he listened carefully. He only heard distant growling. Ford hoped that soon he wouldn't have to hear whimpering or cries. If anything happened to that dog…

Ford soon found himself behind Greasy's Diner and looked around for any sign of canine. He caught his breath and saw no trace of Everest or the monster. He swore under his breath in an alien language and kicked a trashcan to release some anger, the loud bang of metal causing a flock of birds to fly away from a nearby pinetree. Ford turned around and walked back into the woods, determined to find Everest and bring him home. He could always find the beast another day. The last thing Ford wanted to do was go back to Hephzie without her dog. His heart pounded in his ears. Ford was more scared of what Hephzie would do to him than what any monster could do.

He walked on for nearly half an hour, calling for Everest and even whistling every now and then to try to grasp his attention, but the dog never came to Ford. Eventually he reached a dirt road. He saw some blood and pulled out his DNA scanner from his coat. It looked like a hair-dryer, but it was square rather than round and had a small screen promoted up by the handle. He aimed the scanner at the blood until it appeared on the screen, like a camera, and he waited for the results. His heartbeat picked up slightly over the worry of whom the blood belonged to, but it would take a lot more than red liquid to truly frighten the six-fingered adventurer. The little screens displayed before his eyes thanks to the lenses told him that it was bear-DNA.

Ford pocketed the DNA scanner and pressed forward. A few minutes after walking down the road and he was blinded painfully by headlights. He removed the goggles and let them hang from his neck as the old Diablo stopped and his brother stepped out. "Stanley?"

"What are ya doin', Poindexter?" Stan asked and wiped an egg yolk from the side of his face. "And what's up with the outfit? Is that really the best costume ya could come up with?"

"It's not a costume!" Ford snapped and noticed the stains and egg whites on Stan. "Did you get egged?" He asked as his lips threatened to curl up into a witty smile.

The old conman growled and tried to wipe some of the mess off of him. "Darn teenagers. Just about had 'em, too. But enough about me, what about you?"

"I'm looking for Everest." Ford explained and looked around for any sign of him.

"Everest?" Stan asked. "What, ya took him out for a walk and lost him?"

"More or less." Ford answered. "He's in pursuit of a dangerous werewolf and I've lost track of both of them."

"Wait, a werewolf?!" Stan yelled and pointed at his twin. "Ya mean to tell me that dog ran after a werewolf and now ya can't find either of 'em?!" He quit scolding and did not leave time for his brother to answer the rhetorical question. "Ya better find that mangy mutt or you're dead, Sixer." Stan said point-blank.

Ford sighed and held his head, allowing his fingers to ruffle his grey hair. "I know."

"Well," Stan said and shut down the car and pulled out a baseball bat before slamming the door shut. "Can't have your girlfriend loose her dog. Let's beat the beast into a pulp and bring Everest home."

"She's not my girlfriend, Stanley." Ford said quickly as he lifted the goggles back over his glasses and looked for a trail to follow.

"Ouch. What? Ya break up already?"

Ford resisted the urge to punch his brother in the face and walked into the woods.

With no tracks to follow and no DNA to scan, the two Stans had to resort back to square one and hunt the old fashioned way. Unfortunately, their father had never taken them out hunting, so unless the animal was in the water, they weren't exactly experts on tracking. Then again, how hard could it be to find a lost dog in the woods in the middle of the night before a werewolf did?

Ford couldn't decide which scenario was the most ideal. If they found Everest, they could quickly take him home and barricade themselves in the shack for Summerween until morning, when Ford would go out fully armed and hunt for the monster under the safety of the sunlight. If they found the werewolf, they could kill it before it could hurt someone. That was the issue: they had to find it before Everest did. Knowing the Saint Bernard, Ford guessed he was in hot pursuit of the werewolf, knowing the sounds and smells to look for now.

Stan peered through the trees, his bat tight in between his knuckles, but his cataracts did little to help him find any canines, so he relied more on his hearing and his gut. He knew what it felt like to have someone watching him. He knew what it was like to walk in the night, unsure if you'll see the sun rise the next day. Stan wasn't too worried, though. He's seen worse than a werewolf, and besides, he had his best friend with him.

The pair walked on until they heard something off in the distance. They follow the muffled chatter and dull light until they were nearly out of the woods and in a neighborhood.

"You think Everest ran off to find a snack?" Stan guessed as he lowered his bat.

Ford lowered his goggles again. "I doubt it. He was in pursuit of the werewolf, but it is possible that he lost track and left the woods, or got distracted by some kids. He is a dog, after all." Ford held his chin in thought and suggested, "Let's quickly check the neighborhood before we continue blindly searching in the woods."

"Fine by me."

It had been a very long time since Ford had anything to do with Halloween or Summerween. The last time he actively celebrated the holiday was when he was in college and had visited a haunted corn-maze with Fiddleford. The time before that he had joined some friends for a D, D & More D party and dressed up as an elf. The time before that he had been blackmailed into pulling pranks with Stanley. And the time before that Stan and Ford went and saw Martins, which proved to be so gory and so scary that even tough-guy Stan lied awake that night and rethought everything. Needless to say, it had been a very long time since Ford had seen trick-or-treaters, and the sight gave him a bit of nostalgia of when he and Stan would match and bring in candy by the bucket-load.

Gravity Falls never ceased to disappoint when it came the the variety in costumes. Ford saw an alien, a pirate, a banana, the Grim Reaper, a Ghostharasser, a Mr. Amazing, a mouse, a clown, a judge, and what the old scientist assumed was a chicken nugget. A ninja gave Ford a thumbs-up as he walked by and Stan got a high-five from a fellow zombie (Ford had to resist from double-checking that it was indeed a child and not a creature of the living dead). Funny, how as old men they were more popular now than they ever were as trick-or-treaters. Most Halloweens in New Jersey ended with a water balloon or discovering another party they were not invited to.

"Mr. Pines!" A deep voice called and both Stan and Ford turned to look across the street.

Grenda had called in her deep voice and waved, dressed in a red cloak and carrying a wooden basket for her candy, obviously Little Red Riding Hood this year. Candy, dressed as a Greek Goddess, was standing by her and Dipper and Mabel soon joined them after receiving their candy from a nearby house. The twins saw their great-uncles and the little team of teenagers ran across the street.

"Hey, what are you guys doing here?" Dipper asked.

Ford rubbed his neck. "Oh, you know, just… wanted to check…"

"Ford lost Everest."

"Stanley!"

"You WHAT?!" Mabel gasped in horror and dropped her bag of candy.

"I believe it is in Nepal, Dr. Pines." Candy answered sweetly.

"No, I know where the mountain is," Ford explained as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm afraid I've lost track of Hephzibah's dog and allowed him to run off."

"We'll help you find him!" Mabel volunteered as she picked up her bag and scooped up a few pieces of candy that fell out.

"No, it's okay…"

"It's _not_ okay!" Mabel argued, not mad at Ford, but worried about Everest. "I remember what it was like to lose Waddles. We can help you bring Everest home!"

"Yeah," Dipper nodded in agreement with his sister. "If we all split up and search, we'll find him in no time! I mean, he couldn't have gotten far, right?"

Just then, Wendy rode up to them on her bike, wearing a white sheet and had dark circles around her eyes, dressed as a ghost for Summerween. "Hey, Stan! Hey, Ford! Dudes, ready for Tambry's?" She asked the teenagers.

"Sorry, Wendy, we can't go." Mabel answered. "We have to find Everest! He's missing!"

"What?!" Wendy gasped. "Who was stupid enough to lose a dog that big?" She asked, recalling how heavy the Saint Bernard was when he tried to sit on her lap when she had taken a break on the porch.

"Hey! I have twelve PhDs!" Ford yelled and stuffed his hands in his pockets sheepishly.

Wendy gave herself a minute to laugh as she pulled out her phone and texted Tambry that she'd be late for the party. "Well, I'll help ya look. I can ride around downtown for him. I'll text you guys if I find him." And the redhead was off to quickly check downtown Gravity Falls before heading to Tambry's party. Maybe if she didn't find the dog in town he'd be in Tambry's neighborhood.

"Candy and I can check the next neighborhood." Grenda said.

"He might still be in the woods." Ford reminded the little group. "Stan and I will keep searching there."

"We're coming, too." Dipper said.

"No way!" Grunkle Stan scolded.

"Out of the question!" Grunkle Ford said in a strong tone. "There's still a dangerous w… monster out there, and until it's captured or killed, you kids need to stay safe."

"But what if you guys get hurt or need our help?" Mabel argued.

Stan rolled his eyes. "Please, what are you two gonna do against a werewolf?"

"Stanley!" Ford yelled once more. His brother didn't know when to keep his mouth shut.

"A werewolf?!" Mabel, Candy, and Grenda squealed in delight.

"Oh my gosh, please tell me was shirtless!" Mabel begged.

"A creature of both the night and passion!" Grenda quoted from one of her favorite books.

"HE WILL BE MINE!" Candy yelled.

"Girls, this isn't some poorly-written fantasy-romance novel." Ford groaned over the yelling as he rubbed his head. "This isn't a human-wolf hybrid that may or may not be affected by the lunar cycle. This is a dangerous, bloodthirsty monster that would sooner kill you than kiss you."

"But it is a possibility to get a kiss." Grenda tried.

"No."

Grenda groaned and looked up at the sky with an exasperated look on her face. "Fine."

"Grenda and I will go check the next neighborhood now." Candy said and pulled out her phone. "We will send a text if we see him and then keep an eye on him for you."

"Thanks, girls." Stan grunted and the two were off. "Right, you two head back to the Shack and…"

"No." Mabel said firmly. "We're going with you."

"Mabel…"

"Guys, if there really is a werewolf out there and Everest's life is in danger, then our best shot is to stick together to make sure no one gets hurt." Dipper reasoned calmly. "Plus, aren't we kinda wasting time by arguing about this?"

Stan and Ford exchanged frustrated looks. Well, Ford was only half-frustrated, the rest of him slightly touched that his niece and nephew wanted to watch his back so closely, and he was also impressed with Dipper's logic. Stan looked like he was on the same page, and it was confirmed that he was when he turned to the teenagers and said, "Fine, but stay close and be ready for anything."

"What do you think we've been doing since last summer?" Mabel asked and suddenly pulled out her grappling hook.

"Nice work, pumpkin." Stan complimented, then tossed Dipper his bat - which he nearly dropped, but managed to catch - and the old conman pulled out his brass knuckles and slipped them on. "Let's do this."

The Pines family ventured deep into the woods, their eyes and ears peeled. Mabel would call out for Everest every few feet, but nothing would answer her. She and Dipper had their phones out and used the little flashlights by the cameras to help them see in the dark forest. Dipper investigated for scratch marks or blood, every so often having Grunkle Ford give his input if something might be helpful, but so far they found nothing. Stan acted more as the bodyguard, his fists ready to punch a werewolf in the face, or anything else that attacked his family, if needed.

After a few minutes of searching, Dipper found a patch of fur and gave it to Ford to scan with the DNA machine. It identified it as a wolf, but a drastically genetically-altered wolf.

"Perfect!" Ford said victoriously and aimed the scanner down at the ground. "Now if I can just pick up a trail…" The screen showed what was in front of them like a camera, but with night-vision, and glowing in white was small patches of matched DNA from unseen footprints. "This way. Quietly."

They walked on, not keen on going slow and risk losing the trail, but not going fast in order to keep silent. The Pines paid close attention to sticks and leaves beneath their shoes to make sure they didn't break them or cause a loud snap to alert animals that they were coming. Stan made Dipper and Mabel walk ahead of him and behind Ford, guaranteed that they would be safe. Mabel aimed her grappling hook at anything that moved, excluding her family, and Dipper held his bat tightly as his palms started to get really sweaty, making the wooden bat slippery like someone had polished it with butter.

A distant sound made Ford stop. His family copied him. Dipper raised his bat, Mabel aimed her grappling hook head, and Stan was ready to deliver a left-hook. Ford honed in on the noise that had caught his attention and swore he heard growling.

He broke into a run and his family followed. They, too, started to hear the growling, and they ran as fast as they could through the forest. Mabel tore a hole in her sweater when her arm was caught on a branch for a second, but she didn't care. She kept on running and soon she and the men came to a clearing. They stopped in the safety of the darkness and watched in horror as Everest and the werewolf circled each other.

The werewolf had blood dripping from it's sharp teeth, this pupil-less yellow eyes glowed menacingly at his opponent. There was a slight limp and the fur on his left leg was ruffled. Everest was bleeding from the back side of his neck and looked worse off than the werewolf, but he still snarled fiercely and didn't look ready to quit.

The werewolf sniffed the air and his eyes darted to where the humans were. Mabel swallowed. Why did she have to start wearing perfume? Why?! She pointed her grappling hook at the monster and Ford aimed his long rifle at the werewolf, too. Too quick to register, it started to run for the Pines family, but Everest was faster and pounced on it before Ford could shoot the wolf. The Saint Bernard stood on the werewolf's chest and bit it's neck hard. The werewolf howled in pain and scratched a paw at Everest's eye, then it retaliated and bit on Everest's side. Soon the two were rolling and tossing on the grass, a deadly competition of who could bite down harder and make the other bleed to death.

Ford ran out into the clearing, and Dipper and Mabel moved to join him, but Stan held them back by the shoulders. Ford aimed his weapon carefully at the wrestling canines and hesitated, moving with them as they rolled around.

"Take the shot, Poindexter!"

"I can't, Stanley, I might hit Everest!" Ford yelled back, not taking his eyes off the fight. He just needed one second. He just needed one of them to let go and separate so he could get a clear shot. Just one second.

The werewolf proved to be the alpha and bit down harder on Everest's ribs. The dog howled at the moon in agony, letting go of the wolf's neck. It took advantage of the opportunity and used all its might to throw Everest and he landed against a tree, the bite on the back of his neck worsening. He tried to get up, but his aching paws gave way and he laid on the grass helpless. Mabel wretched herself free of Stan's grip and ran to Everest, ignoring the yelling and the fact that a werewolf was approaching the dog to finish the job.

Mabel landed on her knees by Everst's head and gently hugged him around the neck, shielding him with her body. The werewolf did not care and looked ready to pounce. Ford had his finger on the trigger, but Stan was quicker and ran up to the beast. He punched it right in the muzzle with enough strength to make it staggered a few steps. Stan positioned himself to do it again if needed. The werewolf snarled and lowered itself to pounce. Dipper yelled in fear, the monster leapt, but this time Ford was quicker.

All Dipper saw was Grunkle Stan's back to him, Grunkle Ford move to be by his brother's side, he heard a shot, and then saw a giant werewolf land right on top of the author of the journals.

"FORD!"

Dipper ran to join his uncles and Stan was already working to heave the heavy beast off of his brother. Dipper could see Ford lifting the werewolf off of him, but was it still safe? At last, the two old men tossed the werewolf off of Ford and let the body lay a few feet away from them, blood already pooling in the grass. Ford sat up and looked down his chest as he breathed heavily. He was unharmed.

"GRUNKLE FORD!" Dipper yelled in relief and hugged his hero.

Ford's head was spinning. He was mere seconds away from death. If it hadn't been for his lucky aim and killed the werewolf instantly… Ford hugged Dipper back tightly as he tried to regain his awareness of reality. Stan was also breathing heavy, and when Ford let go of his great-nephew, the old conman slipped off a brass knuckle punched his brother on the shoulder as hard as he could.

"OW! Stanley!"

"You…"

"Everest!"

Dipper ran to where her sister was crying to the dog's chest, her arms still wrapped around his neck gently, her whole body trembling. Ford quickly got up and joined them with his brother right behind him. The old scientist tried to see how bad the situation was, but it was hard with most of the dog covered by Mabel.

"Mabel, sweetheart, let go." Ford said gently and put a hand on her shoulder, but her grip only got tighter. "Mabel, I need to see him. Let go."

Stan put a hand on Mabel's back. "Pumpkin, come…"

The brunette leaped into Stan's chest and collapsed into tears. She sat on her knees by his side and cried into his zombie costume. Stan allowed it and petted her hair, his eyes on Poindexter as he looked over the Saint Bernard. He was bleeding too quickly for comfort and was unresponsive. The way he hit the tree, he may be…

"We need to get him back to the Shack." Ford said gravely. "Now."

"I'll get the car." Stan offered and helped Mabel up.

The girl started to collect herself and walked with Stan to the road on which he left his car. By sheer dumb luck, they were only a few feet from the road, so they ran to it and then down the dirt-road until they spotted the red car, then delivered it as close as they could to Ford, who was already carrying the big dog towards them, and Dipper. Without another word and knowing time was precious, they all got in the car and sped away to the one person that could save Everest.

Mabel had taken off her sweater and used it to try to keep the bite on Everest's ribs from bleeding too badly. Dipper laid the bat by his feet and looked out the window, still in shock from the attack. Stan's illegal driving came in handy tonight. Ford's mind was all over the place. What was he going to tell Hephzie? She had trusted him with her dog, the only family she had left, and he had let her down.

Hephzie, meanwhile, was still sitting in the armchair, watching the Dead Groom with her eyes closed as the groom and the living bride played a piano in a bar. Hephzie's fingers moved along with the music as if she was playing an invisible piano; she missed playing the giant instrument. She opened her eyes at hearing the door open and she turned off the TV.

"Welcome home! How'd it go?" She called to whoever had returned.

Hephzie stood up just as Ford and Stan came into view. Stan had this expression on his face that told Hephzie that something was horribly wrong. Ford struggled to hold a bundle of brown and white fur, which was bleeding and silent in his trembling arms.

Her whole world came crashing down. Her eyes were wide in horror and her knees started to quake. "No, no, no, no!" Hephzie trembled as she ran up to Ford and looked down at her dog, "Everest! What happened?!"

"I'm so sorry, Hephzibah." Ford croaked, his glasses speckled with blood. "I'm so, so sorry…" He truly was. So much shame dripped in his voice. He felt like he could never make up for what he had done to Hephzie.

Hephzie and saw that Dipper and Mabel had returned as well, both devastated and in shock. She noticed that Mabel was missing her sweater and only wearing a black t-shirt. So much was happening at once, so many questions needed answers. Hephzie wanted to scream, but instead she drew in a deep breath. "Mabel, I need towels and a washcloth, please. Dipper, can ya get a bowl and fill it with water? Stan, please bring me the first aid-kit."

The three ran off to get the requested items and Hephzie led Ford into the living room. Mabel soon returned with three towels and a washcloth and Hephzie lay a towel down on the card table.

"Set him down, Ford." Hephzie said gravely.

He did as he was instructed as gently laid the Saint Bernard on the table. Hephzie looked over Everest carefully, brushing away fur and seeing how serious his injuries were. He had been bitten throughout his body, one on his side and one on the top-side of his neck being the most serious. Stan ran in with the first aid-kit and set it next to Everest. Hephzie popped it open, pulled out the disinfectant and started to work on cleaning the dog's wounds.

"How did this happen?" Hephzie asked as Dipper walked as quickly as he risked without spilling any water.

"It was my fault, Hephzibah." Ford said gravely as he watched her gently dab a disinfected piece of cotton on Everest's wound; the dog didn't even flinch at the pain. "I should have watched him more closely. I should have been more aware."

"But what happened?" Hephzie pressed on as she worked on the injury on his neck, holding Everest's head gently.

"It was a werewolf."

"A were…"

"He saved me." Ford interrupted and stared at Everest. "I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him." This was true. When the werewolf had smelled them, it averted his attention to a bigger meal. It might have shot it in time, but Everest didn't let him take that chance and stopped the wolf from tearing at Ford's flesh.

Hephzie placed the cloth down back in the kit and grabbed the washcloth. She let it soak in the blow of water and rang it out before using it to clean some of Everest's thick fur so she could reach the wound better. "C'mon, c'mon," She muttered as she worked by the Saint Bernard's head and found that he did not stir. He was breathing, but unsteadily. "I can only do so much, Everest. Ya gotta pull through, please." Hephzie rinsed the washcloth clear in the bowl of water and folded it to rest it on his forehead to try to cool him down. She then resumed her work with the disinfectant and mumbled soothing words to Everest. "I know it hurts, boy, but I have to clear the wounds first before I seal 'em or ya could get sick. Now, c'mon. I named ya Everest for a reason. When ya nearly bled to death, ya were so strong, strong as a mountain, even. Ya held on, n' I know I'm askin' a lot from ya. I know ya wanna let go, but I gotta ask ya to be strong one last time, sweetheart." Hephzie blinked hard to ease her stinging eyes as she whispered, "I can't lose ya. Not now. N' not like this."

Mabel cried silently. Dipper hugged her as he tried not to follow suit. Stan was biting his bottom lip and Ford's fists were clenched tightly at his side, his knuckles turning white. It was like the whole family was holding their breath as they waited for Everest to respond to his adoptive mother.

Hephzie rinsed her blood-soaked hands in the bowl and dried them with a second towel. She clapped them together and prayed it would work. She gently placed a hand over the wound on his neck and held it there for a moment. After a small spark of red light she removed her hand the would was closed, but Everest's neck was still sensitive and tender. Hephzie clapped her hands again and moved to the wound on his side, which was bleeding profoundly. As soon as the injury was healed Hephzibah took the washcloth again and began to gently clean his fur and the smaller injures sprinkled throughout his body. They were not life-threatening, but they unboudibly hurt Everest.

"C'mon, Everest," Hephzie begged as she worked with hands that trembled slightly. "Just open your eyes n' look at me. Ya can do that, right? Just look at me, boy."

Everest slowly began to stir, cringing as his scratches and cuts were touched by the damp cloth. One little eye opened weakly and looked hazy.

Hephzie smiled and bent her knees so they were eye-level. "Good boy, Everest. Good boy." She cooed and scratched his chin softly. "Good boy, good boy." Hephzie kept on working and clapped her hands here and there to cease his pain.

Mabel wiped her cheeks dry and hugged Dipper tightly in joy to restrain from doing so to Everest. Stan let out a long sigh and went into the kitchen for a soda. Ford only looked down at the dog and watched as he began to wake up.

Everest lifted his head slightly and looked up at Ford. He tried to get up, but Hephzie placed a firm hand on his back and kept him lying on the table.

"No, Everest," She said firmly. "Not yet, sweetheart."

The Saint Bernard laid back down and sniffed the air. He looked around the room as much as his eyes would let him and them back up at Ford. He whimpered. What did Everest want? Surely not Ford. Why would he want the man that nearly caused his death? The dog whimpered again. Ford got on one knee in front of the table and lifted a six-fingered hand to scratch under his chin slowly. He felt unworthy to pet the dog, but he had just saved him and his family. Everest deserved so much more than Ford could give him.

"Good boy, Everest." Ford said and cleared his tight throat. "Thank you."

"Dipper, will ya go fetch another bowl of water for him to drink?" Hephzie asked. "And Mabel, can ya fix him his dinner? He'll be hungry."

The twins nodded and ran off for the kitchen to do as they were told. Hephzie clapped her hands again and placed one on Everest's neck, strengthening the sensitive skin. She did the same to his side and the other small cuts along his body. Everest seemed more awake, but exhausted from all of the excessive healing.

"Good boy, Everest." Hephzie said and petted his back as he turned from his side to his stomach and lay comfortably on the table while Ford scratched him. "Good boy! Y'all need a bath after dinner, but ya should be fine."

Everest rested his head on his paws and Ford petted the top of his head, just between his ears. Hephzie went up to him and Ford only looked down at the dog, too ashamed of himself to look up at the old alchemist. She had trusted him and he had let her down. And this wasn't the first time Hephzie had trusted Ford and he had disappointed her.

She surprised Ford when she bent down and hugged him tightly around his shoulders. Ford blinked in shock like a confused owl. She must not have understood when he said that it was his fault that Everest was hurt. Or maybe she forgot.

Hephzie kissed the back of his neck and whispered, "I'm just glad you're safe."

Ford's face felt a little hot. "You're not mad?"

"No, I ain't mad." Hephzie answered and pulled herself away to look down at the Saint Bernard that laid on the table. "I told him to protect ya, n' he did. I should've known he'd obey to such a degree."

That's right, she did, didn't she? Hephzie had sent Everest to go with Ford and gave the dog clear instructions. Hephzie was an intelligent woman; she knew what that meant. "He tried to warn me earlier, remember?" Ford recalled, thinking back to the beginning of the night. "He didn't want me to go. I bet he could smell the werewolf and he didn't want any of us to get hurt."

"I know." Hephzie said and sat in a chair close to both Ford and Everest, petting the good dog as he looked up at the two humans he loved. "He's a good boy, yes ya are." She cooed to him and ruffled his ears affectionately.

"He's our hero." Ford complimented as he continued to show Everest some love. "That werewolf was about to kill me when he pounced on it."

"Speakin' of werewolves, should we be concerned?"

"No, I killed it. It looked like a wolf had been exposed to radiation. I don't think it was your traditional full-moon contagious fanelia."

"I see." Hephzie muttered and wondered if maybe a beam had given way making barrels of waste tumbled down into the forest and hit a lone wolf. She shifted her focus on Ford and asked, "Are ya hurt?"

He shook his head and said, "No, I'm fine."

"Your glasses are filthy." Hephzie pointed out and swiftly took them from his face.

She used the washcloth to carefully wipe away the blood and dirt from the lense, paying close attention to the crack in the glass. As she tossed the washcloth in the blood-stained water and used the third towel to wipe the glasses dry, Ford watched her with slightly blurry vision. Even then, she looked beautiful. Hephzie wasn't just beautiful because of her appearance, but her ability to forgive. She was a tough woman who didn't let people walk all over her. She was no doormat. She held grudges like you wouldn't believe and she didn't let people get off the hook easily, but she was fair. She was mad as accordingly and punished fairly, and when all was said and done, she always forgave whoever had wronged her.

Hephzie handed him his glasses. "N' don't guilt yourself over this." She added as she crossed her arms over her chest and sat back in the chair. "He was just doin' what he was told. Besides, you'd be surprised what loved ones are willin' to do for each other."

Ford held the lenses in his six-fingered hands for a moment as the teenagers came in with Everest's dinner and sat the bowl on the table. As the dog ate, Ford thought to himself that Hephzie had a point. Stan had no problem punching a werewolf in the face to protect Mabel. Ford had no issue jumping in front of a werewolf for his brother. Dipper would stand up against a dangerous alien drone again for his uncle. Mabel was willing to ward off a demon for her family. Sometimes, for the people you care about, you do stupid stuff, like tell your dog to protect no matter what, or cancel your plans to go to a party, or give a hug when you're in so much pain.

Dipper and Mabel were instructed by Hephzie to wash up for the night, which Ford approved of. This gave Everest some time to eat and rest undisturbed, and it also gave Ford a chance to hug Hephzie back tightly.

"Stanford, wh…"

"Just let me…" Ford started to say, but he lost his words. He gathered his thoughts and allowed a few words to bypass his lips as he buried his face in Hephzie's shoulder. "Don't say a word."

Hephzie hugged him back and smiled. She had no idea what was going on inside his head, but she was sure Ford would tell her eventually.


	15. Urtfirmt Rg Lfg

Hephzie was biting her tongue and reading a book labeled _How to Read Egyptian Hieroglyphs_ at the kitchen table. Everest had Waddles in between his paws as the two slept by her feet. The old alchemist turned a page and sipped her coffee. By some miracle, she had managed not to burn it; Hephzie somehow had the capability to burn anything she cooked, from chicken to cookies to even liquids like soup or coffee. It was one of the many mysteries that plagued Gravity Falls that would remain unsolved for all time.

Mr. Mystery walked into the kitchen and opened his mouth to greet Hephzie, but she beat him to it. "Mornin', Ford." She said, without looking up from her book.

"Dang it!" He yelled and threw down the red fez in vexation with a six-fingered hand. "What gave it away?"

"A magician never reveals her secrets," Hephzie said and glanced up at her love interest. "Ya should definitely wear that suit more often, though."

"Oh?" Ford asked with a shrewd smile as he picked up his brother's fez.

"She didn't buy it, did she?" Stan asked as he walked into the kitchen and snatched his hat back.

"Nope." Hephzie said as she read on.

The man in boxers grumbled as he put his fez back on and opened the fridge for the eggs and bacon. Ford sat next to Hephzie and gave her a kiss on the cheek. Everest had woken up at hearing the men enter the room and now he hopped on Ford's knees to lick his face.

"Any plans for today, Brainiac?" Hephzie asked, glancing up from her book and sipped her caffeinated-drink.

"Other than the usual research I've indulged myself in, no." Ford answered as he scratched under the Saint Bernard's chin to keep his glasses from being licked. "What about yourself?"

"I'm gonna ride down to the old caves n' reread the ancient texts." Hephzie answered and closed her book, seeing that she was too distracted to read any further. "I wanna take a second look at the ruins n' see if I can't decode somethin' I've overlooked."

"Should I go down with you?"

"I don't think it's necessary, but the company'd be nice." Hephzie answered and petted Everest's back, his tail beating on the wood softly. "It's up to ya."

Dipper and Mabel walked in, greeted with the tender aroma of bacon sizzling in the pan and the voices of Hephzie, Stan and Ford. They joined the elderly couple and Dipper picked up the book. "Cool! Mind if I borrow this, Hephzie?" He asked excitedly as he opened it and began to read.

"Knock yourself out." She said carelessly with a wave of her hand.

"Thanks." Dipper said and buried his head in the book while he waited for his breakfast.

The morning waned on as Stan served eggs and bacon to his family. Waddles woke up and Mabel picked him up and sat him in the living room so he wouldn't be tortured with the fact that they were eating pig. Everest sat with his head on Hephzie's knee, soaking her pants leg with his drool as he begged for some food.

Hephzie eventually got full and held half a piece of bacon up for him. He stood on all fours and wagged his tail rapidly. "Sit." She commanded as she held up a finger.

Everest obeyed.

"Roll over." Hephzie said and made a circle with her pointed finger.

Everest laid down and rolled over as he was told, then sat with his tongue hanging from his mouth.

"Say 'please'."

Everest gave a quick bark and Hephzie threw down her meat. He caught it and laid on his stomach to munch on it happily.

"Wow, that's more than Stanley knows." Ford teased while Hephzie got up and took her dishes to the sink.

"Think ya can teach him ta say 'thank you', too?" Stan muttered into his coffee.

Hephzie rolled her eyes with a smile and pulled out the big bag of dog food from under the sink to feed the Saint Bernard his real breakfast. A big silver bowl was filled with kibble and another one was filled with water and soon the big dog ate happily by the doorway. Hephzie popped her fingers and stretched her back. "Well, I'm off. I should be back by dinner. Ya comin', Fordsie?"

"I'm afraid not, my dear." Ford said as he finished his eggs. "While you're there, try to get some photographs or sketch what you see. I'd like to examine them later."

"Right," Hephzie kissed his cheek goodbye and grabbed the black-leather jacket from behind her chair. "See y'all later!"

Mabel had been quiet all morning; everyone else had been too distracted to notice, but the teenager was lost in thought, and as Hephzie walked out of the room, Mabel quit playing with her eggs and lifted her head just as she reached the doorway. "Wait," Mabel requested and the old alchemist turned and looked at the young lady. "Can I talk to you? Please?"

Hephzie stared at her, shocked by the urgency in her voice. Mabel was usually a stress-free gal and it unsettled the old woman to hear her so upset; it was like when they had the family meeting a week ago and she sobbed into Stan's arms. Hephzie nodded and gave a small smile for reassurance. "Yeah, of course, sweetheart."

Mabel got up solemnly and led the way out the kitchen and through the front door. Hephzie looked back at the men for any indication that they knew what was going on, but Dipper's head was hidden behind the book, Stan was finishing his breakfast, and Ford just shrugged and gave her a crooked smile. Hephzie mouthed "wish me luck" before disappearing down the hallway for Mabel.

"What was that all about?" Dipper asked, lowering the book on Egyptian hieroglyphics.

Stan shrugged. "Woman. The ultimate mystery."

Ford held his head and sighed. "Women."

"Women." Dipper grunted and closed his book. "I have to go; the bunker still needs a lot of work."

Ford stood up and said, "I should return to my studies in the basement."

"After you return my suit." Stan grunted.

His brother was about to retaliate that technically the suit belonged to him, but Ford's thoughts were interrupted by a voice from outside.

"Oh, boys!" A faint call from Hephzie made them all perk up and listen. "Change of plans! I'm takin' Mabel with me!"

"Wait," Dipper said and ran for the door. He managed to make it as Hephzie started her motorcycle and Mabel sat behind the old alchemist with her pink bicycle helmet on. "Mabel, what are you doing?"

Mabel was grinning from ear to ear. "Hephzie's taking me on a mission!"

"Seriously?" Dipper asked with a smile. "Okay, can't wait to hear all about it!" He called over the roaring engine and waved his sister goodbye, remembering how he felt when he went on his first real mission with Grunkle Ford.

"See ya tonight, Dippin' Dots!" Mabel hollard back and Hephzie sped them off down the road, leaving clouds of dirt behind the tires.

"A mission to the caves, hu?" Ford asked as he stepped next to his nephew and held his chin in thought. "I hardly see how Mabel could help in the matter… she is a very talented artist. Perhaps Hephzibah needs her help recreating some of the old graffiti."

Dipper raised an eyebrow and slowly asked, "Or maybe she just wanted to spend time with Mabel?"

"Yes, perhaps." The old man agreed, not indicating the coldness in the teenager's question and turned back into the house to change clothes.

Dipper looked out at the rising sun and started on his journey for the underground bunker. As he walked away from the Mystery Shack, he couldn't help but wonder what his sister was hoping to accomplish on this journey. Maybe she did want to spend more time with Hephzie. Or maybe… she wanted to feel like she was helping her family in some small way.

Regardless of the reason, hanging onto Hephzie's leather jacket and feeling her sunrise-sweater flow in wind, Mabel was happier than she had felt in a while. She laughed as the breeze tickled her cheeks and she allowed her body to hang backwards while her fingers clenched the jacket in front of her. Hephzie laughed and sped up the bike as they raced down a hardly-used dirt road. Zipping through the woods and driving away from the town, Mabel soon recognized her way to the lake, but found that the popular fishing spot was not their destination, but the waterfall connected to it. Hephzie had driven them to the top of it and pulled her keys out of the ignition.

"So where's the cave?" Mabel asked as she removed her helmet and hopped off the bike. "Under the waterfall?"

"You're right on the money, sweetheart." Hephzie answered as she leaned the motorcycle against a pinetree and placed the helmets on the seats.

"I've been there before!" Mabel said excitedly and walked with Hephzibah towards the waterfall, admiring the cool air and the sound of rushing water that filled the atmosphere. "Dipper, Soos and I were running from one of McGucket's inventions when we found the cave and crashed into it."

Hephzie lifted an eyebrow and gave a sly smile. "Ah, Ole Fiddle's Gobblewonker, hu?"

"That's right, you knew him, didn't you?!" Mabel gasped.

"Still do, he's my friend." Hephzie corrected and clapped her hands together as she looked down the waterfall. "We'll talk about that later. Right now we need to get into the cave. There's an old hikin' trail hidden around here somewhere…"

The two ladies looked around for a minute and Mabel found indications of trampled plants right by the rocks of the waterfall. She tested it by walking down it only a few steps before walking back and calling from the mouth of the path, "I think this is it!"

Mabel led the way down the old trail with Hephzie keeping a close eye out for any weak spots. Taking baby steps as to not slide on the mud, Mabel and Hephzie traveled next to the gushing water bursting with fish and curved down to the hidden entrance. Slipping by the freshwater pushed by gravity and tip-toeing on the rocks, they entered the cave.

At first glance it looked like there was not much to it, but Mabel knew better; nothing in Gravity Falls was as it seemed. Hephzie took the lead and they trenched across the sandy shore of the cave and up to the cliff in which Dipper had gotten some really good photos of the robot.

"The natives of Gravity Falls found refuge from creatures deep in the hidden caves." Hephzie began to explain. "Of course, they had their own huts n' such so they wouldn't have to live in darkness, but the maze of caves were used for storytellin' n' safety in times of turmoil."

"But," Mabel said slowly as she looked around the dimly lit cave. "I don't see any drawings."

"Oh this place has already been dried up by historians." Hephzie said sadly. "Where do ya think they got all the ruins for the museum in town? Nah, what we're lookin' for has been hidden away so no one else can find it n' disturb it."

"Oh."

Hephzie went to a huge boulder that had been right behind the twins on Mable's last visit, just tucked away in plain sight. The old woman began to push the rock away like the lock gate of a tomb and Mable joined her to help. Soon a soft breeze left a secret tunnel and the two women admired their handiwork.

"Wow!" Mabel awed.

Hephzie pulled out a small flashlight from her jacket and turned it on to light the way. "Pretty cool, right?" She asked, gitty for the upcoming adventure.

"The coolest!" Mabel said and started on the way down the tunnel.

"Now, keep your eyes peeled for any triangle-art or writings. Anythang small may help us decode some of the texts." Hephzie said. "Most of the writin's I've already translated, but we want to be sure I haven't missed anythang."

"Got it." Mabel said and pulled out her cellphone, turning on her flashlight and using it to give a hand as the darkness seemed to be creeping in.

"Anyways, ya were sayin' back at the Shack…"

Mabel's cheeks grew rosy and she looked onward as she said, "Yeah, well… I just thought it'd be cool if you could… give me some lessons or something…"

"I'd be honored." Hephzie answered, making Mabel grin again. "I'm just wonderin' what make ya want to know how to sword fight."

The teenager kicked a pebble as they walked on answered, slightly less cheery than normal, "It's just… yeah, I have my grappling hook, but I don't really know how to fight, you know? I mean, if I ever get into a fight, what am I gonna do? Swing a karaoke machine at it's head?" Hephzie looked down at Mabel as she finished with, "I just… wanna help…"

Hephzie gave a soft smile and stopped walking. Mabel halted as well and the old woman got on one knee to be eye-level with the young artist. Hephzie understood exactly what Mabel was feeling. She wanted to prepare for the worst, to be able to give all she's got when the time came to fight. Mabel was clearly a very strong, caring, brave young lady, and she wanted to show it.

"I get it." The old woman said and placed a hand on one of Mabel's shoulders. "If that's where your heart's at, than I'll train ya."

Mabel gave a small nod and regained her small smile. "Thanks."

"Anytime." Hephzie said and stood up and led the way. "We're almost there. I have a journal n' some pens in my jacket we can use…"

"And we can use my phone!" Mabel said as she held up the little device that also aided as a flashlight. "I can take pictures and print them!"

"Great idea!" Hephzie complimented and lifted her flashlight higher to see ahead. "There! Look!"

* * *

She wasn't sure what woke her. Perhaps she had gotten too hot and was now uncomfortable. Perhaps it was when Ford's snoring ceased and the sudden lack of noise pulled her from her sleep. Whatever the reason was, Hephzie opened her eyes but did not look, her head on his shoulder and her arm over his chest. She took a moment to admire her cleverness to persuade Ford to sleep in his bedroom, arguing that it was unhealthy for the old man to sleep at his desk and that it was storming outside so he couldn't sleep on the couch. This time, Hephzie won.

She closed her eyes and snuggled her cheek into Ford's dark-red sweater. His chest was strong and the old alchemist couldn't help but admire how fit he was. Hephzie was drifting back to sleep when she noticed how hot he felt under her hold. She opened her eyes and held herself up with her right hand, her left gently touching Ford's forehead. He felt warm; not like he was getting a fever, but more like he had just run a marathon and needed water.

Hephzie frowned at this and wondered if Ford was dreaming or simply not sleeping well. She understood that sometimes one night's rest is not as peaceful as another's, whether or not it was intoxicated with nightmares. However, Hephzie was also well aware that nightmares were not alien to Ford, and having her fair share of these recently, she could sympathize with the man she loved as he laid on his couch restlessly.

Ford wore a vague expression that slowly morphed from a restful face to a blank expression to an anxious look. He scrunched up his face in his sleep and turned to his right side, his back to Hephzie. She considered waking him up, but there was a possibility he was simply uncomfortable in his sleep and needed to reposition himself. This was a small couch, after all.

Hephzie found she could not lay back down and rest just yet, so she sat up next to him and watched him sleep for a few minutes. She glanced at the clock and saw that it was a little after three in the morning. Hopefully Ford could, at least, get a full night's sleep, but it didn't look good. As the minutes ticked by, sweat dripped down his forehead and his fists clenched. He was gritting his teeth under his tight lips and the fact that he was having a nightmare was apparent now.

Should she wake him, or let him settle this himself? Hephzie tried to think of what she should want him to do if the tables were turned, but before she could make a decision, Ford suddenly snapped his eyes open, yelled, and sat up quickly and accidently hit Hephzie.

"OW! Stanford!"

He held himself up, his breathing fast and irregular, and he tried to collect his scattered thoughts. He blinked several times and blindly looked at Hephzie as she held her right eye. She was looking at him with deep concern and seemed to hardly care about the little heartbeat in her eye. Ford started to put two and two together and he distracted himself from his nightmare by coming to the reality that he had just punched Hephzie in the face.

"Hephzibah?" He croaked and sat up to look at her more closely. "Oh my gosh… I'm so sorry! Does it hurt, let me see…"

"Fordsie, it's fine." Hephzie said point-blank. "What happened? Did ya have a nightmare?"

"That's not important." Ford said firmly and put on his glasses to see clearly. "Let me see it." He pried her hand off of her face to reveal a bruise slowly growing just under Hephzie's eye, swelling so her eye closed slightly. It looked like Ford had just missed her actual eyeball and had caused more damage to her cheekbone. Ford's stomach fell at seeing her dark skin turn color from the busted vessels. He stared at her and used his free hand to hold her cheek and gently feel how swollen her eye was growing. "I…"

"It's fine." Hephzie was determined to stomp the guilt out right away. "Really, it's no big…"

"It's not fine!" Ford snapped. He let go of her and turned away in shame.

"Don't forget who you're talkin' to." Hephzie clapped her hands and touched her forming bruise. A small red light appeared below her fingertips, and when she removed her hand, her face was healed. "See? Good as new."

"But you shouldn't have to do that." Ford said in a low voice. He held his head, deep in thought, and groaned. "How many times am I going to hurt you?"

Hephzie didn't have a good answer, so she didn't pretend to have one. She shrugged and said, "We humans have a tendency to do stupid stuff all the time. I honestly don't see why…" Hephzie slowed to a stop and looked out the little window in thought. The waning moon only shone a small sliver of light, just one night away from a new moon, but the little light it gave shone brightly through the trees. She looked at it without seeing, her mind racing. "...why he…"

Ford looked up at her questionably. Hephzie's mouth was slightly open and she seemed to be having a hard time forming her words. Ford wasn't sure if she was afraid or had lost her train of thought. "Hephzie…"

"...he...wants…"

"Hephzibah?"

She threw the blanket off of them and hopped over Ford to get off the couch. Hephzie nearly stepped on Everest (who slept in the middle of the room) and she bolted to the chalkboard, flicked on a lantern from the nearby desk, and started to write things down on the board. Everest lifted his head as the tapping and scratches of the chalk against the board woke him up.

Ford stared bewilderedly. "Hephzibah, what…"

"Shh!" She hissed as she scribbled all over the board.

Hephzie picked up a notebook and began to copy some notes from it as Ford got up and stood next to her to try to decipher what she was thinking. Ford knew the frustration of being interrupted when deep in thought, so he merely watched her work. Hephzie made several sketches and drew an arrow here and there on the board, all while she held her tongue in between her teeth by her right cheek. It seemed like she merely wanted to get her thoughts out into the real world before they were gone forever. At last, she whipped around to look at Ford and she had a tremendous grin of excitement spread all over her aged face.

"Bill told me he wants a human body, but why?" Hephzie asked. "Why does he want a human body so bad he's willin' to do anythang to get me to make him one?"

"I thought it was because he's too weak to possess…"

"No, no, no!" Hephzie corrected with a wave of her hand. "Why does Bill want a body at all?!"

"So he can enter our world." Ford stated with a frown, confused due to the fact that he thought this was obvious.

"No, you're missing the point, sweetheart!" Hephzie laughed as she shook her head. "Why does Bill want a human body? If he just wants to come into our world, why not use a deer's body, or a bear's, or a pig's? Why a human's body?!"

Ford thought about it for a moment and held his chin in thought, trying to unscramble Hephzie's ideas and theories that she had scribbled on the board. "It could be just for convenience... or maybe he's so weak right now that the only way for him to enter our world is for you to transmute him into it." Ford guessed slowly.

"That could be one reason, but I wonder if there's more to it."

"Well, what else do you think he wants?" Ford asked as he sat in a chair and held his hands, his elbows on his knees.

"Well, do we even know his true motivations?" Hephzie pointed out. "I mean, why'd he even want this dimension? It he just wants a new home cuz his is destroyed, why not take over another dimension? What makes this one so special?"

Ford pondered her questions seriously for a moment and started to admit that they were fair statements to ask. He had come across many dimensions over his thirty years of travels and adventures to try to take down Bill. There are thousands, possibly even millions, of other places Bill could take over. Why Dimension 46'\? "I… I'm not sure." Ford admitted. "At this point he's probably seeking revenge."

"That might also be true." Hephzie said and added a few more things to the board. "Ya know as well as I do that there's usually more than one motive. I'm just… I'm positive that there's more to this than revenge or a new place to crash."

"Well, why else would Bill want this dimension? Why else would he want a human body?"

Hephzie turned and put her hands on her hips, a piece of chalk clenched in her fist. "Now, bear with me, Fordsie. What if… what if he wants a human body for more than just his own puppet? What if generally wants to be human?"

"You can't be serious?" Ford sneered as he crossed his arms over his chest, a small smile on his face, convinced his significant other was joking.

"I am!" Hephzie yelled in frustration. "Think about it! Bill could take over any other dimension, but he wants this one! He could use any body, but he wants a human body!"

"He may not have a choice anymore, Hephzibah." Ford argued. "If Bill's trapped in the Mindscape, his only chance to escape could very well be our world. So it's either suffer in the Mindscape for all eternity or find a way into our world."

"So what do you suggest, Brainiac?" Hephzie asked as she picked up a notebook and started to copy what was on the chalkboard into some pages so it wouldn't be lost.

"I think we need to focus on the 'hows', not the 'whys'." Ford said firmly as he stood up and began to pace the bedroom. "If Bill's only chance for survival is to enter our world, we need to do everything in our power to make sure he can't."

"Should we try to destroy him permanently?"

"We should definitely try, I'm just not sure if there's a way to destroy him unless he's in our world."

"Fair enough." Hephzie agreed and sat in the empty chair to record her thoughts into the little brown notebook. "So, if Bill's trapped in the Mindscape, we already know one way he can come back."

Ford paused his pacing just as he was in between her and the door. He looked at Hephzie symatherically and caught the bitterness in her tone. He nodded solemnly and asked, "Is there any way we can…"

"This is between me n' him." Hephzie interrupted.

"Between him and me." Ford corrected and winced instantly, remembering the last time he had corrected someone's grammar.

"Oh, shut up." Hephzie chuckled, unaware of Ford's uneasiness. "I guess for now all we can do is make sure that Bill can't punish ya or your family."

"What about you?" Ford asked and walked up to her, a stern look on his face that she did not look up at as she continued to write down in the notebook.

"He won't break me, Fordsie." Hephzie said plain as day, refusing to meet his gaze.

"He destroyed your home…"

"I know what he's done n' the consequences that comes with denyin' him, Stanford." Hephzie snapped and looked up at him with cold eyes. At least they weren't yellow. "I can handle it."

"In that case I'm going to do everything I can to make sure you're safe."

"I don't need ya to babysit me." Hephzie growled.

"I'm not babysitting you." Ford argued. He got on one knee and put a six-fingered hand on her shoulder. "I'm looking after the people I love."

Hephzie rolled her eyes. The date-night a few days ago was one of the few times where she had allowed herself to become "soft". Ever since then she has been her usual hardcore self, so her "spunky attitude" didn't really surprise nor disappoint Ford. Hephzie ruffled his fluffy gray hair with a devilish smirk on her face. "I'll admit, you've gotten a lot better at the whole flirtin' deal."

Now it was Ford's turn to roll his eyes. "Thanks."

"So, apart from human-transmutation, can we think of any other way Bill can enter our world?" Hephzie asked as she finished copying the drawings on the chalkboard to the notebook. "What about the rift? Ya said when ya destroyed the portal, all that remained was a ripped hole into our dimension. When Bill's goons were thrown back through it, are we sure the rift was sealed?"

"I've been keeping an eye open for it for almost a year," Ford answered gravely. "And I've seen no evidence that has led me to believe there's a rip into the Nightmare Realm."

"So coming back physically is out of the question." Hephzie concluded. "Are there any other ways he could come back? Anything we've overlooked? Has anyone else summoned Bill?"

Ford held his chin in thought and was sure that no one else in this world has summoned Bill apart from himself and Hephzie. But… all those months sailing around the world, all those months living his lifelong dream with his brother, something had nagged him. He felt guilty for even suggesting it, but he had no choice. The evidence was inevitable. "I think we need to keep a closer eye on Stanley." Ford said gravely.

Hephzie merely looked at him, surprised by his harsh statement, but she slowly nodded, understanding. She knew everything. She knew what had happened to end Weirdmageddon. "I think we should trust him, Stanford." Hephzie corrected and put a kind hand one his cheek, feeling his shadow and letting her fingers ruffle his soft sideburn. "Why don't we sit with him n' talk about it in the mornin'? I'm sure he's got a few good ideas up his sleeve."

Ford was comforted by her touch and the hand on her shoulder clenched. "I don't want him to get any more involved…"

"Oh, don't insult my intelligence by lyin' to me." Hephzie hissed, knowing perfectly well that wasn't try Ford didn't want to talk it Stan. The hand that was on his cheek was firm in case the old scientist tried to break eye-contact with her. "N' don't ya dare try to do that to your brother. Stan's a lot smart than ya give him credit for, Dumb-Dumb. He told me he knows there's a good chance Bill can come from him."

"He said that to you?"

Hephzie nodded. "He knew what the risks were when he had his memory wiped clean. I think he's known from the moment he started to remember that Bill could come back. I'm not sayin' he'll come from… but Stan knows there's a good chance he could, n' if you're sure of it, too, then we should treat Stan more than just an observation experiment. Ya need to talk to him, Stanford. Trust him."

"It's not a matter of trusting my brother, Hephzibah." Ford said grimly and closed his eyes, resting his cheek in her hand. "It's a matter of knowing how he thinks and knowing he'll blame himself for this."

"It's scary how similar y'all are." Hephzie teased and moved to the edge of the chair to be closer to the old man, her other hand on his shoulder.

"Well, we _are_ twins." Ford said as he laid his head on her lap. Despite the adrenaline of the nightmare and the sudden rush of late-night ideas, he found that he was very tired and required a little more sleep.

"N' yet I can still tell ya apart." Hephzie challenged as she ran her fingers through his hair with her right hand, her left over his shoulders and keeping the old scientist close.

"Let me guess, my six fingers?" Ford guessed as he lifted a hand to his eyes to count, once again, how many fingers he had. Six. It was always six.

"I don't need to look at your hands, Fordsie. I didn't even see 'em this mornin'."

That's right. She hadn't even looked up at him this morning. "Then how did you know it was me?"

"Well for one Stan's not nearly as handsome." Hephzie purred as she continued to pet his hair. This calming gesture did little to help the old man stay awake.

"Ah, ha! So the only reason you can tell the difference between us is because you're attracted to me." Ford concluded jokingly.

"Dream on, Dumb-Dumb." Hephzie said in a quiet voice.

She looked over to Everest to find that he had fallen asleep again. She then looked back down at Ford to see that he was nearly doing the same. His eyes were hardly open and he looked drained. Smiling at his resting form, Hephzie continued to pet his hair as the soft glow from the lantern illuminated the room peacefully and made it easier for the old man to fall asleep. Hephzie had too much on her mind to sleep, plus her body felt wide awake, as if it had gotten all the sleep it needed for the day. Unwilling to move, she averted her thoughts and started to hum a soft tune without even realizing it, her mind focused on Bill and the best ways to protect the Pines family from his evil.

Hephzie might be unaware of her peaceful voice, but Ford wasn't. He had always admired her music. One time, back in their young-adult years, he had needed her advice on where to find a certain creature when he found her missing at the piano store and remembered her saying that she often had choir practice at the local church. Ford had swiftly entered the sanctuary, knowing rehearsal would end soon, and was blown away to hear Hephzie sing with the voice of an angel's. Ford had heard her sing before, but as she led the choir in worship of their god, she poured her heart and soul into her music. It was enough to make an un-religious man like Stanford Pines sit and listen with his mouth the shape of a giant O. Ever since that day, he had been prone to require her assistance after choir practice, but would show up and sit in the back of the worship center to listen to Hephzie sing as he wrote in his precious journals.

Now, as she hummed while in thought, her fingers grazing his hair softly, her legs keeping him warm, Ford's consciousness began to slip away from him and he soon interrupted Hephzie's thoughts with his soft snores.


	16. 1 2-5-19-20 6-18-9-5-14-4

At first, Stanford thought it might be his alarm clock, but then he irritatingly recognized the ringing as his phone. He was too tired to worry as to what it might be about, despite it being in the middle of the night. Reaching blindly for his phone next to his bed, Stanford knocked over his glasses and nearly broke a lamp before he finally felt the cold handle of the phone under his six fingers and grasped it.

"Hello, this is Stanford Pines." He robotically greeted as he blinked several times and pinched the bridge of his nose.

" _FORD!_ " A voice yelled, making his ear ring and his heart jump. " _YA WON'T BELIEVE IT! MADDIE'S HAVIN' THE BABY! I'M GONNA BE A DAD! I'M GONNA BE A DAD!_ "

Stanford held the phone away from his head while the yelling occurred and cautiously brought it closer to answer the call. "Fiddleford? That's… that's amazing! Congratulations!"

" _Thank you!_ " Fiddleford said rapidly. " _Thank you, thank you, thank you! We're gettin' ready right now, but I figured I'd call n' let ya know! I can't believe it! I'm gonna be a father by the time the sun comes up!_ "

Stanford looked out his stained-glass window to find it was indeed still well into the night. He smiled and was truly excited for his best friend. "I'll do everything I can to be there for you, buddy! It's a bit of a drive, but at least that'll give you time to be with your family."

" _Of course, of course!_ " Fiddleford said in a jumpy voice. " _Come whenever ya can! I gotta go, Madeline needs me! I'll talk to ya soon!_ "

"Good luck." Stanford then hung up the phone and sighed.

Careful to not break his glasses, he grazed his hand over the carpet until he felt them. Once he could see clearly, Stanford turned on the lamp and saw that it was nearly three in the morning. He might not have as much adrenaline as McGucket, but the idea of going back to sleep was out of the question. Stanford dialed a number, stood up and stretched while he waited for an answer.

Just before it could go to voicemail, Stanford heard Hephzibah say in a cracked voice, " _Cece household._ "

"Hephzibah? It's Stanford."

" _Hey,_ " She said, her voice picking up. "I _s everythang okay?_ "

Hephzibah's family only had two separate phones: one in the shop for business calls, and one in the hall by the kitchen for personal calls. So when she distantly heard the phone ring from her bedroom, Hephzibah had to quickly cover her trembling shoulders with a blanket (she got cold too easily) and run down the hall to get the phone. That gave her a good opportunity to wake up, and getting a call from her friend this late at night made her think something was wrong.

"Everything is fine." Stanford said as he popped his back. "More than fine! Maddie's having her baby and…"

" _Are ya serious?!_ " Hephzibah gasped happily. She had known Madeline and Fiddleford were expecting and had been nothing but supportive since she had heard.

" _HEPHZIBAH!_ "

Stanford could hear both Grandma Cece's yell and Hephzibah's groan. " _Grandma, go back to sleep…_ "

" _There wuz tha ringin' in my head 'gein!_ "

" _It's just Stanford…_ "

" _Who?!_ "

" _Stanford Pines, Grandma! Ya know, the man with glasses? Ya told him he needed a haircut._ "

Stanford couldn't help but smile and he tried not to chuckle as Hephzibah tried to get her mentally handicapped grandmother to go back to bed. While Hephzibah let the phone dangle from the wall, Stanford stole the opportunity to hold the phone between his cheek and shoulder as he slipped on some pants and picked out a sweater-vest for the day. Finally he heard footsteps and sat on his bed to tie on his shoes, his brown sweater-vest and baby-blue dress-shirt by his side.

" _Sorry._ "

"Nevermind, Hephzie. I'm just sorry I woke her." Stanford apologized and rested his aching cheek and shoulder by holding the phone again. "Anyways, I was wondering if you would give me a ride to Palo Alto."

" _Yeah, sure I'll take ya!_ " Hephzibah agreed. " _Give me thirty minutes n' I'll be there. Should we make it an overnight trip?_ "

"Well, it is an eight hour drive."

" _With me drivin' I can make it five._ " Hephzibah laughed.

"Please don't." Stanford chuckled and once again held the phone with his cheek so he could tie his second shoe. "So, yes, we should probably make it another overnight trip. I can make reservations to that hotel we stayed at for the wedding."

" _Sounds good to me. We should get there by lunchtime. We could stick around n' help' n' be on our merry way the next day._ "

"Excellent." Stanford said and started to unbutton his nightshirt. "And you're sure your grandparents will be safe without you?"

" _They somehow managed to survive when I left for the weddin', didn't they?_ " Hephzibah asked, playing with the cord on her phone. " _Grandpa can hold down the fort for two days._ "

"So I'll see you soon?"

" _Count on it._ "

They both exchanged farewells and hung up to pack. Free to use both hands without sacrificing the comfort of his neck, Stanford finished getting dressed, pulled out his smallest suitcase and packed for the short trip. Just a change of clothes, pajamas, and some toiletries. He did make sure he had his second journal and some pens in his trenchcoat, just in case inspiration hit or he came across an anomaly; the supernatural always had a way of finding Stanford.

With his suitcase by the door, Stanford brewed a small pot of coffee and sipped his mug peacefully as he waited for Hephzibah. Nearly twenty minutes after the phone call, a knock interrupted the silence.

"Come in." Stanford called, too lazy to leave the kitchen and finding it unnecessary for Hephzibah to even knock in the first place.

She did as she was told and followed the smell of coffee to the kitchen. Hephzibah walked in wearing her usual white button-up, blue jeans, and black leather-jacket. She smiled and waved. "Mornin'!"

"Good morning," Stanford greeted and gestured to the coffee pot. "Coffee?"

"Please." Hephzibah said and knew she was free to make her own cup. She remembered where the mugs were and so she fetched herself one and filled with some hot java. "This is so excitin'! Did Fiddleford say it was a boy or a gurl?"

"He said it hasn't even been born yet." Stanford explained. "By the time we get there I'm sure it'll be all over and done with."

"What do you think the baby is?" Hephzibah asked as she sat down and started to sweeten her coffee.

"Hm?"

"Ya know, ya think it's a boy or a gurl?"

Stanford shrugged. He hadn't even seen the couple since their wedding and only heard announcements of the upcoming addition to their family over the phone. And, really, up until Sherman's son was born, Stanford had nothing to do with newborns or the whole birth process, expect for medical textbooks. How was he supposed to know the gender of the baby? "It's nearly impossible to tell until it's born, unless you have access to an ultrasound."

"You're no fun." Hephzibah teased as she tested her coffee and was satisfied with the taste.

"It is three in the morning." Stanford reminded her.

Hephzibah waved away his excuse and said, "Well, my money's on the tyke bein' a boy. Maddie called more than once askin' for ways to deal with mornin' sickness."

"What, and that means it's a boy?"

Hephzibah shrugged. "Mostly just superstition, but every woman I've ever known to have boys has had wretched mornin' sickness."

Suddenly Stanford was feeling a wave of sympathy for his mother.

"Course, it really doesn't matter." Hephzibah concluded between sips of coffee. "As long as Maddie and the baby are safe."

"I'm sure they're both fine." Stanford said reasonably.

Though he was well aware that there were a million different ways the process could go horribly wrong, he also knew that was just the paranoid scientist rearing its ugly head. Women have been giving birth successfully for centuries, and with such highly equipped hospitals and advanced medicine, there was no doubt in Stanford's mind that when he and Hephzibah arrived at the hospital, they were going to come across three healthy, exhausted McGuckets.

The rest of the morning was quiet so the adults could drink their coffee and wake up. A little before four and they had their suitcases strapped to the motorcycle, their helmets in place, and their hair flying in the crisp autumn wind as they traveled down the interstate.

* * *

"Stanley, we need to talk."

He looked up at his brother and frowned. Of course Poindexter would wait until the kids were gone to talk to him. The secret was out that Hephzie had summoned Bill as a kid, and everyone knew there was a good chance that he was back, so what was it this time? Stan crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair. "Alright. Talk." He wasn't pissed. His tone was very monotone and invited the old scientist to say whatever was on his mind.

"For starters, we know what Bill wants from Hephzie." Ford said point-blank.

Stan raised an eyebrow and asked, "And? What does the one-eyed demon want?"

"He wants a human body." Hephzie answered, her hands holding her warm mug. Her tone was low and she was looking down at her caffeinated drink; she was not ashamed, she was serious. "He wants me to make him one with alchemy so he can re-enter our world."

"Great." Stan grunted and sat up. "Well, we're already working on keeping ya safe, missy, so I don't think we have to worry about Bill being very persuasive for long."

Hephzie smiled up at him, touched that his first concern was to reassure her that they were safe from Bill, and she couldn't help but agree. For the time being, as long as they were in the shack, Bill couldn't touch them. But they couldn't stay trapped in the Mystery Shack for the rest of their natural lives.

"I'm afraid Hephzie's not the only way Bill can return." Ford said gravely.

Stan glared at his brother. He had suspected Bill's return from the get-go, all the way back when they first defeated him. He understood what it meant to switch clothes and pretend to be Ford. He knew what he was signing up for when he shook Bill's hand. Stan wasn't an idiot. "Right." He grunted and looked away from the guilty expression on Sixer's face. "So what you think we should do about it? Keep me under house-arrest?"

"Stanley…"

"Look, Poindexter, just do whatcha gotta do." Stan said with a wave of his hand.

"I wasn't just talking about you, Knucklehead." Ford growled. "I'm also referring to the fact that someone could summon Bill into our world. His powers are limited, but he fuels off of deals. If someone made a deal with him to do something, he would be granted the strength to fulfill his end of the bargain."

"You'd be surprised how dependent Bill is on Equivalent Exchange." Hephzie chuckled into her coffee.

"Maybe not in the sense that alchemists are, but yes." Ford agreed. "He still has to give up something to obtain something."

"Is that how he survived? He gave up his powers for his life?" Stan asked to confirm his theory. He was surprised to see the couple across the table stare at him in shock.

"What?!" Ford gasped.

Stan looked at his brother, surprised that he hadn't thought of this before and quite frankly thinking it was obvious, and the old conman said, "Well, yeah. I mean, I was there when he was 'destroyed'." He made little quotations in the air with his fingers as he uttered the last word, and went on. "And he was freaking out, but right before I punched him in the face he said something in some sort of freaky alien language. Maybe… I dunno, maybe he was making a deal, or maybe after he was gone he somehow made a deal for his existence. That's the only way it makes sense to me that he's back."

Ford and Hephzie exchanged looks. Ford's vast mind was blown away, while Hephzie was grinning like a sly fox. She looked at Stan and said, "That's brilliant! Utterly brilliant, Lee!"

Stan winced and growled as he pointed at the woman, "Don't call me that."

Hephzie put up her hands in surrender. "Geez, sorry. Anyways, that really does make sense! He told me one night that he had made a deal, but I thought… well, who cares?! If that's how he's back, that would answer a lot of questions!"

"So, what do we need to do to keep him from coming back?" Stan asked apprehensively.

His bitter tone was enough to bring Ford back to Earth and he said, "For one, I don't think we need to worry about him coming from you."

"Why not?" Stan challenged. "What about my eye?"

"Well, has he paid ya a visit?" Hephzie asked. "Have ya dreamed of him?"

"Not more than usual."

"But, Stan, has he talked to you?" Ford asked sternly.

Stan thought for a moment to all the nightmares he had over the last year and couldn't recall a time where it seemed like Bill was… there. "No."

"Than that might just have been a side effect of him leaving you." Ford suggested. "I know when my eye bled if was from letting him have my body for a long period of time. He might have finally left your Mindscape, thus resulting in the irritation in your eye." His thoughts went back to the painful times when his eyes was so torn and sore it bled profoundly on his journal. Ford was sorry that his brother had to experience that pain, too.

"Okay," Stan said, rubbing his eye at remembering the burning pain and the irritating flow of blood. "So, how else could he come back?"

"We were hoping you could tell us." Ford admitted. "Do you know anyone else that has summoned Bill? Anyone at all?"

Stan rolled his eyes, "No one would be that stupid to after Weird…"

"I mean before the end of last summer." Ford explained. "Not just recently, but at all."

Stan thought for another moment. Really, up until his deal with Bill, Mr. Mystery didn't have much to do with the triangle. Sure, they had been in close contact and Stan had read the journals, but despite the fact that they had a lot in common, Stan had little to do with Bill until Weirdmageddon. However, there was the fact that Bill had been in his mind before… "Yeah, actually, there's that little greasy pickpocket Gideon."

"WHAT?!" Hephzie screeched like a banshee, making the Pines men jump and stare at her.

Hephzie was patient when it came to lessons and explaining things to people, but that didn't mean she was without a nasty temper. It was that same tempter that once beat up the entire tribe of Manators, stabbed an underwater monster in the eye, and killed a velociraptor. It was also that same temper that both scared and entertained Stanford. So, to see her clench her mug so tightly it looked like it would shatter and her eyes blazing like fire, Ford couldn't decide if this was a good or bad thing.

"Gideon Charles Gleeful?!" Hephzie yelled.

"Who else?" Stan asked, smiling at how pissed off she was at the mere mention of the kid.

Ford had been caught up with everything Gideon had done, from guilting Mabel into dating him, to trying to kill Dipper, to stealing the deed to the Mystery Shack. Stanley had vented about him once or twice on the Stan O' War II. What Stanford didn't know was that the child had summoned Bill more than once.

"That little BRAT!" Hephzie yelled and threw a fist down at the table, making it tremble under her fury. "That ghost-pale, no good, spoiled, greasy-haired, chubby-faced a…"

"Whoa there, Wise-Gal!" Stan laughed before she could say something she'd regret. "I'm all for hating the twerp, but sadly he's kinda on good terms with the family."

"Well he's not with me!" Hephzie shouted. "I gave him piano lessons a few years ago n' I'd never wanted to slap a child more in my whole life! The way he talked to his mama, the way his papa spoiled him, it made me sick! N' on top of which he kept twistin' my arm for…"

"Well I managed to steal the second journal from him before he c…"

Hephzie stood up so fast her chair toppled backwards. Her hands were planted on the table but appeared to be trembling in anger. Ford's jaw was hanging at how livid his love interest was. Stan put two and two together and only stared at her uncomfortably. "WHAT JOURNAL DID HE HAVE?!" Hephzie demanded.

"Journal #2." Stan answered as plain as day.

Hephzie took in a huge breath through the nose and removed her hands from the kitchen table. "Excuse me." And then she left the room calmly, far too calmly for comfort.

"Hephzie… Hephzibah!" Ford called after her and walked down the hall.

Stan stayed seated and listened. The front door opened, closed, then opened again. He didn't hear much until the door closed again and Stan caught what sounded like Hephzie clapping her hands to perform alchemy. When Ford returned and sat down, his brother asked him,

"What was that all about?"

"Hephzie punched a tree and sprained her hand." Ford explained.

Stan watched her come back in, much more collected now, and she sat next to Ford and drained her mug, cringing at the cold coffee, but forced herself to swallow.

"Right… that makes sense… if he stole it…" Hephzie held her head as a headache started to build behind her eyes. "I buried it… I didn't think he'd… I regularly checked on it… but one day it was gone…"

"It's not your fault, Hephzie." Ford said gently and placed a kind hand on her shoulder.

"Darn right it's not my fault." Hephzie agreed wholeheartedly and looked up at Stanford. "It's Gideon's!"

"As much fun as I'm having watching you get mad," Stan joked. "I don't see what Gideon has to do with all this Bill stuff…"

"What if he summoned Bill again?!" Hephzie yelled and pointed at Stan. "What if Gideon brings him back?!"

"Bill locked him in a cage and forced him to do silly dances for all eternity." The old conman in boxers told them. "I don't think he wants Bill back any time soon."

"Regardless, we should keep an eye on him." Ford said and rubbed Hephzie's back to try to calm her down. "Maybe we should talk to the kids about…"

Speaking of the devils, they barged right into the house then and there, demanding to see their Grunkle Ford.

* * *

Mabel was running like her life depended on it. It didn't, but she ran like it did.

She had woken up early that morning. Well, she had always been an early bird, usually the first one after Grunkle Ford to wake up, but she would wait until she was sure everyone else was up before leaving her room in fear of disturbing the family. This usually meant her mornings were spent cuddling with Waddles and scrolling through the internet. Not today, however.

As promised, Hephzie began to teach Mabel martial-arts. Hephzie was patient and a good teacher, her old days from giving piano lessons crawling up to the surface. While Mabel was only taught how to take a strong stance and throw some punches, Hephzie was still very impressed with how much she already knew and the brunette mentioned off-handedly that Grunkle Stan had already given her a few boxing lessons.

"Well, why not have him teach ya how to fight?" Hephzie asked gently. "Not that I don't wanna teach ya, but I'm sure your uncle knows a thang or two."

Mabel had looked away from her and muttered with her head low that she merely wanted to learn martial-arts now. She then repeated her request to keep their lessons a secret, and Hephzie had agreed to do so. Mabel was grateful to her new friend, and so when she and Dipper had been walking around town and saw something exciting, the teenage girl was only too happy to lead the way back home as quickly as she could.

Dipper ran after her, struggling to keep up, with a matching smile on his face. Well, Mable's smile may have been slightly bigger, but that didn't mean Dipper was any less happy; Mabel simply had a huge smile that could outshine any light. They both found their way back to the Mystery Shack easily and bolted into the house. They thought they heard voices in the kitchen and entered to find that the old people hadn't moved from the table yet.

"GRUNKLE FORD!" The younger pair of twins yelled, making the man in question jump and hold his chest.

"Sweet Lord, kids!" Hephzie swore breathlessly, holding her head and resting her elbows on the table.

"Dipper, Mabel, what's wrong?!" Ford asked in an alarmed tone and stood up to take care of whatever monster was terrorizing the teenagers.

"Nothing!" Mabel said happily. "McGucket's back!"

She looked up at her uncle and hoped to find him grinning from ear-to-ear at finding out that his best friend was back in town. He had been gone at that Bluegrass convention in Montana for over two weeks, and now that Hephzie and Ford had made up, Mabel was jubilant to see the three of them together again. Disappointingly, Ford did not smile right away. He appeared to be doing some quick thinking, almost like it took a moment for what they said to hit him, but soon a huge grin did creep up on his aged face. Even Hephzie, who looked distressed, lifted her head and smiled.

"Fiddleford?" Grunkle Ford clarified.

"He should've been back days ago!" Hephzie laughed. "Wonder how many times he wandered into Canada!"

Ford turned to the adults and said, "Well, I think I'll go welcome him back."

"Yeah, I'm gonna miss Baby Fights if I don't get to it." Stan said, checking the time and standing up.

"I'll go with ya." Hephzie said to Ford and stood, as well. "It's been too long."

She and Ford walked with Dipper and Mabel out of the house and down the road. The Mystery Twins were tempted to let the old friends visit alone, but truth be told they also missed McGucket.

Ever since he had taken up Ford's advice and sold his inventions, Old Man McGucket had been living comfortably in the old Northwest Manor, commonly renamed McGucket Hootenanny Hut. With his memory fully intact, McGucket focused on adjusting to not only his new home, but to sharing it with his son. He had invited Tate to live with him in the giant cabin after a few months of patching things up between them, claiming the house was just too big and uncomfortable to live in alone. Tate surprisingly agreed, and had moved in by Thanksgiving.

Ironic, how things for McGucket had once been so bad - lower than low, at the point where things couldn't possibly get worse - and now everything was nearly perfect. All that was missing were his old friends. McGucket and Ford had kept in touch over their months apart, while Hephzie hadn't spoken to him much at all lately.

Thirty years ago, after Ford had disappeared behind the portal, McGucket had been on his own. While working with his best friend, he would - at the very least - come home for bed, but soon he didn't even do that. If he had quit working with Ford, then where was he? Maddie was crumbling under the stress and anxiety, much like her husband, so Hephzie took it upon herself to hunt McGucket down and bring him home. She nearly had her memory erased once or twice by cloaked strangers, but in the end she managed to escape with her mind fully intact, unlike her friend.

Hephzie slowly watched McGucket lose it over the months. First Ford, then her grandparents, and now Fiddleford, too? By the time Grandpa died, McGucket had gotten to a point where he hardly remembered Hephzie's name and had hit a car twice! In the end, Maddie couldn't take it anymore and left Gravity Falls, only leaving her son behind because he loved his home so much. Hephzie tried to help McGucket take care of his son, but Tate ended up running away more than once to Pianos for People for refuge, unable to handle his father and the pain he had caused.

It was torturous, watching everything shatter like glass before Hephzie's eyes. She somehow managed to keep an eye on Tate as he frequently visited his mother and stayed with his father only because he wanted to go to the same school he had always gone to. He even moved in with Hephzie during high school when McGucket's condition got so bad he had to live at the dump. After that Hephzie was alone, McGucket was insane, Maddie was gone, and Tate was bitter.

But that was behind them now. Over the years Hephzie had checked in on McGucket, but he hardly remembered her half the time and didn't seem to accept her offered help, so she only kept an eye on him to make sure he didn't end up dead on the street one day. Hephzie was overjoyed to hear how well he was doing at the end of last summer and only kept her distance so McGucket could make things right with his son.

Now that it was all over, the Pines and Hephzie started their tiring hike up the hilltop for the manor with huge grins and sweaty foreheads. The outside of the giant home didn't look much different, except the golden N and M on the gate had been removed and the gates were open; they were always open, now.

At long last the four of them reached the front door. They caught their breath, and Ford knocked on the hardwood politely with a six-fingered fist.

* * *

Despite Stanford's request for Hephzibah to follow the speed limit, she mostly sped the whole trip, claiming they had to make up for lost time when they stopped at a diner to get breakfast halfway through the trip. By noon, Stanford and Hephzibah had arrived at the hospital Fiddleford had called from and were able to go in no problem.

Hephzibah had stopped by a local florist in town and bought a bouquet of purple asters and little white baby's breath flowers.

Ford eyed the flowers while in the elevator and asked, "Why those specific flowers?" Hephzibah had borderline demanded for asters and baby's breath back in the shop and wouldn't accept nothing else, not even in a different color.

"Grandma taught me to always bring baby's breath when a child's born." Hephzibah explained proudly. "Plus, asters are the flowers for September-births."

"But why purple?"

"It's the color of royalty." Hephzibah gently touched one of the aster flowers and smiled. She had yet to be able to wipe the smile from her face.

Stanford rolled his eyes with an unwavering grin. The elevator gave a small "ding" and opened. A doctor, a janitor, Stanford, and Hephzibah walked out and down the hall. While the doctor stopped at the desk to pick up a report and the janitor headed into the men's restroom, the scientist and the alchemist ventured down the hall, passing rooms filled with expecting parents.

Dulled screams could be heard here and there, belonging to mothers and children alike. One nurse was tending a man's hand and wondered if it very well may be broken. Another man was holding his head, having just found out he wasn't the father. Despite some pain and grief, there was also joy in the hall. A pair of old people were in tears of hearing that they not only had one new grandchild, but three! A young woman was on her knees and praising whoever was listening for the safe delivery of her niece. Children played boringly in the hall, laying on their stomachs and drawing pictures or racing cars. Some were graced with the presence of a TV.

About halfway down the hall, room 618 sat snugly between a room occupied by a huge Asian family that was pouring out the door and a quiet room which appeared to be empty, but actually held only a mother with her newborn, as the father was deployed and fighting in the war. Earlier that morning, all the chairs in the hall had been filled with family members, seeing that Fiddleford had five brothers and one sister and Madeline only had her aunt and uncle, but the McGucket family was still a huge family that wanted to take part in this happy occasion. Now they had all left for lunch. Stanford and Hephzibah hesitated for a moment if maybe the new parents wanted to be left alone.

Before they could consider leaving and trying again that afternoon, Fiddleford exited the room to get a drink of water and saw his friends. His tired grin expanded and he hugged them both with one arm around each. "Ya came!"

"Of course!" Stanford said as he patted his friend's back. "Wouldn't miss it for the world!"

"How's Maddie n' the baby?" Hephzibah asked and squeezed Fiddleford's shoulders one-armed, careful not to squish the flowers.

"They're both fine!" Fiddleford exclaimed joyfully and let go, his eyes shining bright despite the fact that they looked a little red. "It's a boy! We named him 'Tater'! Can ya believe it?! I have a son!" He yelled, unable to contain the big surprise.

"Congratulations!" Stanford said honestly and put a hand on his best friend's shoulders.

"Thank you! Maddie's awake if ya wanna see 'em." Fiddleford offered and opened the door.

Stanford's stomach gave a soft squirm of nervousness, but he did not obligated as Fiddleford guided them into the dimly lit room, the cracked blinds being the only source of light. It was crowded with gift baskets full of snacks, toys, and balloons. Clearly their families had gone all out, releasing some excitement for the baby's arrival by buying unnecessary gifts. Madeline was sitting on the bed with ruffled hair, glowing skin, and dark bags under her red eyes, but no woman ever looked happier. She looked up from the bundle of blankets in her arms to see the guests and she grinned.

"Hey," Hephzibah whispered and sat the flowers gown by a giant teddy bear. She hugged Madeline carefully in case she ached too much, but Madeline happily hugged her back one-armed. Hephzibah looked down at the bundle and froze. Her eyes doubled in size and she awed.

Fiddleford stood behind the woman in dreadlocks and grinned. "Look at him! He looks just like his momma!"

"I think he looks a lot like ya, Ole Fiddle." Hephzibah softly argued.

Fiddleford was too happy to scold her for using his hated nickname. Stanford slowly stepped closer to the bed, only enough to catch a glance at the newborn. Being a couple hours old, he had slightly red-ish skin from the long journey he had and only had a small tuft of brown hair on his head. Stanford could never understand how people could say whom a newborn looked more like when most babies looked the same, almost like a blank sheet of paper; distinguishing features seemed to come later in life.

"I think he looks like a human baby." Stanford said.

Misinterpreting his statement as a joke, Hephzibah laughed and said, "Regardless, he's perfect! Congratulations, Madeline!"

"Thank you." Madeline said with a smile and extended her son to Hephzie. "Wanna hold him?"

Hephzibah looked as if no higher honor had been bestowed upon her. She bolted to the bottle of hand sanitizer and rubbed herself clean up to her elbows, then she pulled out a bottle of lotion from her jacket and applied it, too, making sure her hands were soft and comfortable. Madeline laughed at Hephzibah's caution and Fiddleford smiled in appreciation. At last, Hephzibah pulled up a stool and sat next to the bed, and she gently took the baby boy in her arms.

While in college, Hephzibah had worked as an intern at a hospital. She had done many different tasks, including help deliver babies. Most of the time her job was aiding the check-ups afterwards, helping drug-addicted babies sleep by rocking them for hours, and giving the babies their first bath, which Hephzibah was quick to say was her favorite job; gently washing babies' tiny fluffs of hair clean as they slept in her arms. And so Hephzibah was not alien to taking care of newchildren. She paid close attention to how she supported the baby's neck and made sure he was still comfortable in his deep sleep.

"Aw, look at ya, wittle tyke." Hephzibah cooed and freed a hand to lower the blanket by his chin slightly to get a better look at his tiny face. "So wittle, yet so strong…" It was true, not just cliche. Under her hold, Hephzibah was not afraid of the baby snapping in half or anything like that. He was already so much like his mother, so strong despite how small he was.

"How are you feeling, Madeline?" Stanford asked.

"Peachy." She said sarcastically, but there was laughter in her voice and she shook her head and added, "We should be good to go home tonight."

"Excellent! Of course, Hephzibah and I will be more than happy to assist you if you need it."

"Bertha's staying at our place to help out, but thanks! We're always happy to have you two around!"

"Absolutely!" Fiddleford agreed and put a hand on his best friend's shoulder. "Stick around as long as ya like!"

Stanford smiled and looked back over at how Hephzibah held the baby boy. Despite her voice being quiet and soft when she spoke, she talked to the baby like he was an adult and could understand every word. It was a bit ridiculous, but it was a sweet scene and it made Stanford speculate that Hephzibah would make a great mother one day. But then that made him think of her marrying a stranger and that made him furious, but the thought of her marry Stanford made him extremely uncomfortable, so the young scientist pushed his train-of-thought into a gorge and tried to focus on the happy day.

"Here, Fold, sit down." Fiddleford instructed and directed the man into a chair. "Ya should meet Tate!"

Hephzibah nodded and held out the bundle of blankets to the new father. "Couldn't agree more!"

Fiddleford gently took his son into his hold and walked him to his old friend from college. Stanford had held children before, but that didn't mean he was comfortable with them. He remembered when he held his nephew. He had sat on the couch in the living room and Ma had laid the child in his hold. Stanford was as still and stiff as he could be until Stanley held him, who obviously handle the whole uncle-situation better, holding the baby confidently and already promising to teach the kid how to give a bloody nose. Stanford's stomach squirmed uncomfortably again at remembering his family and he tried to clear his mind.

Fiddleford slowly placed Tater in Stanford's arms and he held the baby as professionally as he could. Once again Stanford could recall what it was like to hold his nephew. His mind didn't seem to want to stay empty of painful memories today. As nervous as he had been to sit with the baby on that old couch, Stanford instantly grew attached to his brother's son. Maybe it was because they were related; maybe it was because - as unmanly as it was to admit it - babies really are cute. Whatever reason there was, even though Tater was not his nephew or related to him in any way, Stanford looked down at his peaceful, sleeping face and his lips curled upward joyfully.

"Hello."

Hephzibah stood up and moved so she was behind Stanford. She peered over his shoulder and down at the baby, a soft hand on Stanford's back supportively. "Sweet Lord, he's perfect." Hephzibah whispered.

Stanford looked down at the child in his hold and let the peaceful smile rest on his face. "Yes, he is." He breathed, hardly audible.

Fiddleford sat at the edge of the hospital bed and wrapped an arm around his wife. Madeline rested on his chest and the married couple watched their friends dote over their son, Tater.


	17. Kh Zloo Krvw Wkh Sduwb

It didn't take long for the giant doors of the manor to open. Usually it took a lot longer for McGucket to answer, seeing how he was prone to get lost in the giant house, but he had literally just returned to Gravity Falls and hadn't even moved his things up to his room yet. McGucket wasn't too surprised to find that he already had visitors, he guessed the kids might have heard that he was back in town, but what he was surprised by was who it was.

McGucket even removed his special glasses for a moment, lifting them over his eyes and blinked hard, at seeing Stanford Pines and Hephzibah Cece standing side by side and smiling at him. The sight made McGucket grin so wide his youth returned for a split second. He was a big hugger back in the day - it was just a part of his Southern hospitality - and today was no exception. McGucket pulled them both into a bone crushing hug, one arm wrapped around the other. This proved to be deadly for both Ford, as his best friend's arm was wrapped around his neck, and Hephzie, who could feel her ribs collapsed into her lungs.

"Fidds!" Hephzie gasped for breath. "Good to see ya!"

"It's great ta see y'all, too!" McGucket replied joyfully and let go of them both to get a good look at them. "Well, kettle my corn! I never thought I'd see y'all together again!"

"Yeah, we finally patched things up." Ford said, rubbing his neck, mostly to ease his ache, but it would be a lie to say it was not accompanied by reddening cheeks at hearing his friend greet them so warmly.

"Well, c'mon in!" McGucket said, gesturing past him and into the vast hall.

Dipper and Mabel followed the adults inside, but were soon tackled into a quick hug by McGucket. Dipper stiffened under the sudden hold, but Mabel happily hugged the old man back. After nearly a year, the manor was starting to have a more homey feeling than when it was owned by the Northwest family. Truth be told, the manor had the perfect cabin-feel McGucket loved; it was truly only the size and the lavish decorating that took some getting used to. McGucket led the way into the first room on the right, allowing the guests a moment to gaze at the stunning fireplace and wooden staircase.

The room had once been what McGucket had assumed to be a parlor of some sort, but it morphed itself into the living room of the home, it's tall walls covered with stacked bookshelves apart from one wall that held a fireplace and giant windows, showcasing a beautiful view of the woods. Rocking chairs circled the fireplace and a cozy couch sat by the shelves. A small end-table holding a lamp, a banjo and it's polish, and some picks indicated which rocking chair was McGucket's before he even sat. Once he did, Hephzie and Ford followed his lead and each took a rocking chair, leaving the kids to enjoy the silk couch.

"So, how was the convention?" Ford asked as he leaned back in the chair. He had to admit that it was quite comfortable. He should use Stan's back-porch rocking chair more often.

"As fine as a Stomach-Faced Duck's feather split four ways." McGucket said carelessly. "The journey was long, but it was the destination that made it worthwhile."

"Here, here." Hephzie agreed, rocking her chair and closing her eyes peacefully.

The room was a bit warm, but not too hot where it was uncomfortable. As noon approached and sunlight seeped into the room, the warmth hugged all in the room as McGucket babbled away about his trip, but he did not discuss it long, more interested in his friends and what they had been up to. Ford then told of he and Stan's adventures out at sea, battling monsters, coming across anomalies, and keeping an eye out for treasure (though none had been found). Behind them, Dipper and Mabel listened to the stories happily, their minds slipping and wandering, not out of boredom, but out of comfort.

Ford's tales of the Kings of the Arctic continued past noon. No one was really in the mood for lunch, enjoying swapping stories, all except for the young teenagers, who had fallen asleep on each other's shoulders. The adults settled for a quick cup of coffee to help them get through the rest of the day, which McGucket was only too happy to supply.

"By the way, Ford," He said over his mug of java. "In the next room there's a piano I'll never use, so I was wonderin' if ya'd like ta have it. Lord knows ya'll get more use out of it than I will."

"Ya got a piano now?" Hephzie asked kindly.

McGucket laughed, guessing that he was about to be teased for not using his connections wisely. "Don't get too offended, Hephzie, I didn't buy it from a competitor; it came with the house."

"It would be nice to play again." Ford admitted with a soft smile.

Hephzie nodded solemnly. "I've missed havin' a piano around."

McGucket raised an eyebrow at this. "Whatcha mean? Ya sold all your pianos or somethin'?"

Hephzie looked up at old engineer and sighed before exchanged looks with Ford.

He shifted his gaze to his old friend. "You don't know? Pianos for People was burned down. It's completely destroyed." Ford said gravely.

McGucket's jaw dangled in shock. "Sweet Sarsaparilla! No, I didn't know! I've been home for three hours! Were ya hurt, Hephzie? How are ya holdin' up?" He could recall a time when he had no home to call his own and had nowhere to go. He had not only been delusional, but stubborn too, and only slept on Hephzie's couch when offered once or twice, but she had opened her home to Tate. Hephzie had tried to get McGucket to move in with her until he was back on his feet, but out of pride and confusion, it never happened. She had always been there for McGucket, even if he didn't know it, and now he wanted to start to return the favor.

Hephzie was touched by how kind he was and smiled. "I'm okay. More than okay. I'm actually stayin' at the Shack right now…"

"Oh, ho!" McGucket marveled and wiggled his eyebrows at the two. "I see! Well then, should I mark my calendar for…"

"Don't even go there, McGucket." Ford growled while Hephzie snorted into her coffee and cackled in laughter.

"Ha! I'm just pullin' your leg, Pines," McGucket said, laughing alongside Hephzie; he didn't care much for using people's last names, but he did so to joking retaliate with his old friend. "I'm just happy for y'all."

"Thank you, old friend." Ford said wholeheartedly and watched Hephzie ease her laughter admirably.

"Now, if ya don't mind me askin'," McGucket went on, catching Hephzie's attention. "How in tarnation did that ole store burn like that?"

Hephzie exchanged another look with Ford. She was fine talking about the incident - really, she was - she was just unsure if Ford was ready to tell his best friend that their old enemy was back. McGucket didn't have as much to do with Bill as Hephzie or Ford did, but he had always been suspicious of Ford's old muse and had always believed in staying away from devils. It was Ford's trust in Bill that drove a wedge between he and McGucket. Not the stress or the work brought about by the portal, not the memory gun or the Society of the Blind Eye, but Bill. From day one, McGucket had tried to warn Ford of Bill, but Ford never listened and McGucket paid the price, a ripple-effect that poisoned his whole life.

And yet, McGucket was willing to fight and risk everything, even his own life, to stand alongside the Pines family and banish Bill from their home. He had built the Shack-tron, he was willing to smack a devil with a banjo to save his friends, and had even turned into a flag for a few minutes at the cost of their little rebellion. McGucket was a part of this, too, and he had a right to know about everything.

Ford took Hephzie's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "You can tell him or I can." He offered in a low voice, copying the same actions Hephzie took when Ford had to tell his family.

McGucket did not press forward or ask questions, but waited patiently for Hephzie or Ford to answer his question. Just as he was about to change the subject and claim that the question was unimportant, Hephzie looked at her old friend and took in a deep breath.

"My home was burned down by Bill."

A long line of old-man swears escaped McGucket's mouth, some making more sense than others, and it caused the Mystery Twins to wake up, but the adults didn't notice. McGucket started bouncing his knee nervously and asked, "How's that even possible?! I thought he was destroyed in poor Stanley's mind!"

"We believe he's made a deal, exchanging his powers for his existence." Ford explained. "He's very weak and trapped in the Mindscape, but, as we've experienced, he still has some control over what happens in our world."

"But wait, why would he attack Hephzie?" McGucket asked. "I mean, no offense dearie, but ya had nothin' to do with the apocalypse."

"Nah, you're right, I had hiddin' in the caves with Everest n' somehow managed to survive until it was over. Bill destroyed my home cuz I wouldn't make a deal with him."

The rest of the conversation was spent filling everyone in with what happened. Hephzie retold the story of how she summoned Bill as a child, Ford repeated his own experience of finding the writings in a cave and meeting his muse, and McGucket expressed his suspicions and theories as one by one they came true. Dipper had picked up a book from a shelf and began to read, having heard all of this before, while his sister listened with her eyes closed and her head on his shoulder.

"So what'll we do now?" McGucket asked as he rocked in his chair.

Hephzie shrugged. "We're still workin' on that part."

"Well, whatever happens, ya got my support." McGucket instantly volunteered. "I don't know much about Bill, but I'd like ta think I know a handful 'bout machines n' computers n' can help somehow."

"Actually," Dipper said and closed the book in his hands. The three adults turned and looked at him. "I could use your help, McGucket."

"Anythang, boy."

"We've been working on the underground bunker in case we need a second homebase." Dipper explained as Mabel sat up and stretched. "We know you built it to be a shelter for the apocalypse, so we've been fixing it up again just in case. The only problem is that it's a little small, so maybe we could build more rooms."

McGucket winced and shook his head. "I dunno, youngins, that place is dangerous! That's why we locked it up. That ole…"

"We know." Dipper said as the old man gave a quick shiver, remembering the horrifying experience. "But he's frozen and we haven't even tried to get pass the boobytrap since we've been working down there. We were thinking we could expand on the other side and dig in some more rooms."

McGucket looked out the large windows, his gears turning and ideas forming. He was never a man to turn away from a project. New and intimidating inventions and creations were what excited him. His heart would pick up speed and his smile would stay for days at the proposal of something new. He had proven so over thirty years ago when he responded to the impossible by claiming it was feasible. McGucket felt that same inspiration in his gut and already his eyes saw images of the bunker rather than the beautiful mountains before him. And it as this inspiration and excitement that demolished any fear of history repeating itself.

Without a single word, McGucket got up from his rocking chair and moved to the desk. It was so much unlike Ford's workspace; it was neat and organized, with slacks of paper sandwiched in labeled folders and pens and other supplied aligned perfectly. Right by the lamp was an undisturbed Cubic's Cube. McGucket had a roll of blueprint paper attached to a holder on the wall right by the desk. He pulled on the paper and laid it across the clean surface of his desk and used a white pen to start sketching out ideas at once. Dipper and Mabel ran to be on either side of him and were impressed with how much he remembered the old bunker, a true testimony to how much better his mind had gotten in the last year.

"How many people we thinkin' we need ta fit?" McGucket asked.

"As many as possible!" Mabel insisted.

"At least eight." Dipper said, quickly counting his family, Soos, Wendy, McGucket, and Hephzie.

"Definitely more than eight!" Mabel argued. "What about Waddles and Robbie and Tambry and Thompson and Lee and Nate and Pacifica and Tate and Gideon and…"

"Okay, okay," Dipper interrupted, knowing Mabel could go one forever if allowed. "We've already made some room with what we've got. We made more beds and Soos has been attaching them to the walls…"

Ford smiled and joined the little team of thinkers. He peered over McGucket's shoulder from behind Dipper and the old engineer worked brilliantly. Ford listened to the twins' ideas intentiffly and made comments here and there. Together they brainstormed about what to do with the bunker. Hephzie stood up and headed for the exit of the room.

McGucket saw this and asked in a disappointed tone, "Ya leavin'?"

"Just usin' the bathroom." Hephzie said casually to ease her friend's worries.

McGucket smiled, glad to hear that she wasn't going back to the Mystery Shack just yet, and said, "Just across the hall n' by the front door."

"Thanks."

McGucket continued to sketch different ways to create space in the bunker. Ford was surprisingly quiet most of the conversation, listening to his niece and nephew's ideas and watching his friend work. Pride swelled in his heart at seeing his family and best friend do what they love. McGucket will always love his family and will never turn down an opportunity to play the banjo, but his passion has and will always be in inventing and creating something new. Dipper was a young man of finding and solving problems; there was not a single question he didn't at least look into. Mabel had a very creative soul that paired spectacularly with her quick wit and smarts. Ford would occasionally make suggestions or ask questions, happy to participate in the project. Maybe he should avert his focus on the underground lab for a few days and take a break from worrying about something he had little control over.

Meanwhile, Hephzie exited the bathroom and looked around the vast hall curiously. She had never stepped into the mansion before, and so she allowed herself to browse without being too nosy. A quick glance into the room next to the bathroom told her a huge kitchen separated the stairs from the front door, opposite of one last room. Hephzie crossed the room, her heeled boots clicking on the polished floors, and peeked into the room next to the living room.

The room had double doors enlined with gold. Hephzie cracked one open and awed at the room before her. Like the living room, it had vast windows showcasing Gravity Falls, but the windows turned into doors and led to a roomy blachony. The room itself was mostly empty except for a gorgeous chandelier and a grand piano in the left front corner. That must be the piano McGucket had mentioned earlier.

Hephzie opened the door and walked up to it slowly. The piano was black and one of the biggest pianos Hephzie had ever been present in. It looked about as old as the mansion itself and yet it was in such good condition it appeared to be new. Hephzie grazed her fingertips over the side of the large instrument in awe, her profession getting the best of her. She walked to the keys and saw that the cover was lifted. The seat was of polished, blackened wood that matched the piano and was without a cushion, sadly. Hephzie sat on it regardless and gently touched one of the keys. She hesitated for a moment before testing it's sound.

Oh, bliss! It sounded incredible! The small note made Hephzie's spirit lift in a way she didn't know she needed. She played a few notes down, going from lower notes to higher notes. The music echoed off the old ballroom gracefully. Hephzibah had a song in mind, a wordless melody she wanted to share with the world, and so she sat at the edge of the bench and began to play.

Too immersed in their work, McGucket, Dipper and Mabel didn't hear the music coming from down the hall, but Ford did. He perked up at just barely picking up the sound. He first wondered if it was in his head, seeing how no one else heard it. Ford honed in on it and found it too real to be imaginary. He slipped out from behind the desk and out of the living room. He looked around the main hall of the manor and could definitely hear the quiet music.

Ford's eye caught an open door just to his right. He walked up to it and the music grew louder and clearer; he was heading in the right direction. Through the crack between the open and the closed door, he saw Hephzie play a piano, so in touch with her music and at peace that she played with her eyes closed. Ford remembered her ability to do so years ago, and how impressed he was that she could do it. He was still impressed.

He felt something tug him into the room. Maybe it was his own love for music. Maybe it was because it was awkward standing in the hall and spying on Hephzie. Or maybe he just wanted to be with her. Regardless as to why, Ford quietly walked in and stood next to the bench, careful not to make any sudden movements or sounds that would startle Hephzie. She had felt someone's presence and glanced to her right side to see Ford standing with his hands behind his back.

Hephzie smiled and made room for him to sit as she played, taking up the left half of the piano. She shifted her song and waited for Ford to pick up on her notes. He sat down next to her, flippin up his trenchcoat so it hung down his back, and almost immediately picked up the song and recognized what he needed to play. Ford trailed his six fingers down the keys harmoniously with Hephzie's and together they played Brahms Hungarian Dance No. 1.

The song wafted through the ballroom, making Hephzie's free foot tap while the other worked the pedals and Ford nodded his head gently to the tune. Ford was a little rusty, having gone without playing a piano for thirty years, and Hephzie was distracted, but they remembered the song enough to get through and were having a good time. Occasionally they would glance up from the keys and smile at one another, adoring not only the music, but each other.

Noticing their disappearance and the new music, McGucket invited Dipper and Mabel to dinner and told them to wait in the living room to discuss it with the other adults. This wasn't the first time McGucket had walked in on them playing together, and he had hoped that it wouldn't be the last. Once the song was over, before they could start another one, McGucket cleared his throat. Hephzie and Ford turned their heads to give him their full attention.

"May I treat y'all to dinner?" McGucket asked politely and gestured for the door.

The coffee didn't really delay their hunger for very long. Hephzie nodded and Ford stood. "Dinner would be great. Thank you."

"Aw, hush." McGucket said and waved away Ford's thanks. "Can't let y'all starve, can I?"

* * *

Hephzibah was reading when she heard someone knock on her door. She looked up and closed the book, setting it on the nightstand next to the rocking chair. She left the living room, crossed the hall for the kitchen and dining room area, and opened the door. Standing in the rain, soaked to the bone, was McGucket's son.

"Tate!" Hephzibah exclaimed in shock and guided him in, grabbing his arm and examining how wet he was. "What happened? Why are y'all wet?"

Tater's head was low, hiding most of his face. His eyes were always hidden by his hair and red baseball hat, but with his head hanging so low only his chin could be seen. "I walked."

"In the rain?" Hephzibah clarified, her voice rising with every word. "By yourself?!"

Tater lowered his hat even lower to try to hide himself even more.

Hephzibah noticed how timid and shameful he was and she knew scolding the boy wouldn't get her anywhere. She sighed and put a kind hand on his shoulder. "I'm not mad, boy." Hephzibah said gently. "I have some spare clothes for ya in your room. Go change n' hang up your wet clothes in the bathroom. I'll fix ya some dinner, n' we'll talk later."

Tater's stomach gave a nervous squirm at hearing about the talk, but he nodded and obeyed, walking down the hall for the guest bedroom that was essentially his. The boy spent so much time with Hephzibah nowadays it made sense just to have a bedroom for him. With him gone, Hephzibah was free to think of what to do as she started to heat up some leftover soup.

She pulled out the big pot from the fridge and placed it on the stove. Lightning struck from outside and soon thunder could be heard. Hephzibah was shocked that Tater had run away from home. Well, not really surprised, but upset he would do so at all. At the same time, she was grateful that he had retreated to her home and was safe. Fiddleford must be worried sick for his son. Once she had Tate settled in, Hephzibah would call Fiddleford and assure him the boy was fine.

As the soup started to heat up, Hephzibah got down a loaf of bread and decided to make toast to go with the tomato soup. As she did, she thought of what to do. Madeline was back in California, so Hephzibah couldn't send Tater to her. Fiddleford's place was about an hour walk from Pianos For People, so Hephzibah could send the boy back, but there was no guarantee that Tater would obey and go back home. Besides, by the time the storm would let up it would be very late at night. No, it was best for Tater to stay here for the night. But what about morning? Well, this wouldn't be the first time Tater had stayed at Hephzibah's house on a school night. The school was walking distance from the piano store, so he could go to school in the morning. And, truth be told, Hephzibah loved having the boy over. It was too lonely without him.

Tater soon emerged back in warm pajamas and sat at the table patiently. Hephzibah handed him a glass of water and he sipped it timidly. The woman leaned against the countertop as she waited for the bread to pop out of the toaster.

"Any reason ya decided to pay me a visit?" Hephzibah asked calmly.

Tater shook his head slowly. "Just didn't wanna be home."

Hephzibah understood. Back in L.A., she would have given anything not to have to go back to her mother's house. She would volunteer at the hospital overtime, take extra shifts at the bar, study at the library; anything that kept her out of that trashed apartment her mother called home. So Hephzibah didn't blame the boy for not wanting to be home. No, it was the reason why that bothered her. "Why?" Hephzibah asked.

Tater shrugged. The toast popped up and Hephzibah turned to put it on a plate and butter it the way she knew the boy liked it. This gave him a chance to speak freely. "Dad's drivin' me crazy 'gain."

Hephzibah felt a twinge of pain, but kept on working on dinner. "Oh?"

"He can hardly remember my name now." Tater admitted. "He doesn't even care about me…"

"That's not true." Hephzibah said too quickly, not giving herself a chance to stop. The moment it escaped her lips she regretted it.

"Ya don't know that." Tater argued as Hephzibah got down a bowl from the cupboard and started to fill it with the steaming soup.

"Tate," Hephzibah sighed and tried to think of what to say. "I know you're hurtin'. I know what that's like."

"No ya don't."

Hephzibah spun around and had her hands on her hips. "Yeah, I do. My folks weren't around for me when I was growin' up, neither." She snapped at Tate, who didn't know anything about Hephzibah's parents until now. "To this day I still don't know who my father was, n' my mother left me at a hospital to be put in an orphanage. If it wasn't for my grandparents, I wouldn't be here right now." Hephzibah grabbed the plate of toast and the bowl of soup and sat them on the table. "When I moved in with my mother, I hoped she'd want be back once she saw who I was. I hoped that she'd learn to love me, but she didn't. You'll find not all parents love their children, Tate, that much is true," Hephzibah sat at the table, opposite of Tater, and added, "But trust me when I say that your ma n' pa do love ya. I know they may not act like it sometimes, but I know my friends, n' they love ya more than life itself, boy."

Tater shook his head again and picked up the spoon in the bowl of soup and began to eat. "I'm not sure… what makes ya think they love me?"

"Cuz I know your father." Hephzibah said firmly. "Say what ya want about him, but he is one of the most lovin' men I've ever met. Even if he doesn't know it or understand it right now, he loves ya n' your ma so much, Tate. Everythang he's ever worked for has been for your family."

"We don't even have a family anymore." Tater said thickly and dropped his spoon after only a few bites. "Mom left and Dad's… Dad's…"

"He's gone, too, huh, baby?"

Tater nodded for the first time all night and timidly picked up a piece of toast. "I… I want 'em to come back."

Hephzibah blinked her stinging eyes and cleared her throat. "I know. I do, too."

Tater was silent the rest of the meal, and Hephzibah let him eat peacefully. She walked off to the living room and resumed her book. Tater didn't need to be scolded right now; he needed to be comforted, and if being alone and in Hephzibah's house made him feel somewhat better, so be it.

Once Tater was done eating he tried to walk down the hall, but Hephzibah instructed him without looking up from her book to please put his dishes in the sink. He obeyed and tried to leave again, but Hephzibah gave him one last chore and told him to take a shower. Tater groaned in frustration the way most young boys will and walked down the hall for the bathroom. Hephzibah gave a small smile at hearing Tater act like a normal boy for a moment, but then she looked up from her book and at the picture she had tucked away on the bookshelf.

It was the photo of the McGucket wedding. The one where Madeline and Fiddleford were holding each other and smiling, surrounded by family and friends. The one where Stanford, the best man, was grinning handsomely in that suit his father had given him. The one where Hephzibah wore an army-green dress that matched the herbs in Madeline's hair and the ferns that decorated the ceremony. The one where they all looked happy.

Hephzibah sighed and rested her cheek on her fist, her elbow on the chair. "What am I gonna do with that boy?" She asked the picture, but never got an answer. She had a bad habit of not only looking at that picture longingly, but talking to it.


	18. Cixqqbov Tfii Klq Afpqoxzq

Dipper reminded Stan way too much of Sixer sometimes. When the old conman first got to know his great-nephew, it pained him a little bit to see how similar the two were. Then again, it mostly hurt only because his brother was trapped in another dimension, possibly dead, and it was all Stan's fault. It mostly hurt because Ford wasn't there to see the boy and his sister grow up. It mostly hurt because it was their shared characteristics that got Ford into trouble and tore him away from his family. Stan didn't want the same thing to happen to Dipper.

Now that everyone was back home and old wounds were healed (that didn't mean they didn't leave behind a scar), it didn't really hurt Stan anymore, but it did make him roll his eyes whenever he saw Dipper's inner-Poindexter reach the surface, like right now at the kitchen table over breakfast, gushing about the renovations he and McGucket were going to work on down at the bunker. Stan concentrated especially hard on cooking his scrambled meat to tune the teenager out.

Mabel and Hephzie came in smiling and as the younger of the two joined Dipper at the table, the older made coffee for the adults.

"Mornin'." Hephzie greeted.

Stan only grunted.

Hephzie glanced over at him to find something unsettling about the old man. She couldn't decided what it was and put "talking to Stan" on her mental list of things to do. Then again, it was already on the list, but for another reason.

Ford had slept down in the basement last night and was usually the first to rise, but today he was the last. When he did finally appear, he surprised everyone in the room by being in an exceptionally good mood. Ford's eyes were twinkling with enthusiasm and he was grinning widely. "Good morning!" He cheered loudly. "What a beautiful day!"

"Says who?" Stan growled too low to be heard over Ford's loud greeting.

"Someone woke up on the right side of the bed this mornin'." Hephzie teased and turned to face him with her hands on her hips and a playful smirk on her face.

"I did indeed, my dear!" Ford replied and, too quick to be stopped, he dipped Hephzie backwards low and kissed her full on the lips.

"Stanford!"

The excited scientist straightened her, still grinning madly, as Hephzie blushed furiously. Dipper lowered his hat while his sister squealed with joy for her great-uncle. Stan rolled his eyes again and tried to ignore them while he cooked.

"You'll want more, sweetheart, when you see what I've managed to pull off!" Ford said confidently, making Hephzie cross her arms over her chest and raise an eyebrow at him.

"Alright, Brainiac, what've ya got up…" Hephzie gasped and gave a very Mabel-ish scream when Ford pulled out two tickets from his trenchcoat. "Ya did NOT!"

"I did!" Ford laughed and punched the air victoriously. "Tomorrow night! Eight o'clock!"

"Stanford Pines, ya GENIUS!" Now it was Hephzie's turn to dip him and kiss him long and passionately, completely dismissing the fact that the two were acting like they were in their twenties this morning.

"Oh, for the love of… getta room!" Stan complained as he started dividing the finished brown meat into five plates.

Hephzie helped Ford stand up straight and said, "Sorry, Stan, but we've been waitin' for these tickets for years!"

"The Northwest Symphony is in town once a year and their tickets are impossible to get!" Ford informed his family. He grinned at the tickets in his hands like when he was a boy and would get his hands on the latest comic book.

"How on Earth did ya manage…"

"Let's just say I've learned how to be very persuasive during my inter-dimensional travels." Ford hinted with a wink and patted his hip, where Hephzie could have sworn was where his ray gun was hanging, hidden behind his trenchcoat.

Hephzie held her head and sat down at the table. "Not gonna ask."

Ford sat next to her smugly and looked anxious for more praise over his accomplishment, but the woman in dreadlocks was too focused on Stan. He grumply gave everyone their breakfast, but Dipper and Mabel were too busy talking about the bunker to notice anything different about his behavior. Stan hid himself behind The Gossiper newspaper and that left Hephzie to talk in code with Ford. As she ate some of her brown meat, she darted her eyes from Stan to Ford, hoping her love interest got the message. He must have, because he looked at the newspaper that hid his brother and shrugged, but he gave a look that didn't look confused or disturbed by Stan's attitude or mannerisms. Hephzie rolled her eyes and Ford could have sworn she muttered something into her mug that sounded a lot like, "Men."

Once Mabel and Dipper were finished with their breakfast, they ran off to get ready for the day. Ford stood up and said, "Well I'll be down in the bunker with the kids and Fiddleford all day. Care to join us, Hephzie, dear?"

Hephzie's previous plans for the day had been to check on the exits for the underground mime that held the dinosaurs in tree sap, but recent events made her change her mind; sadly, neither plan involved Ford or McGucket. "Sorry, hon, but I've already got plans. I'll see ya tonight."

Ford bent down, kissed her cheek, dropped his dishes off in the sink, and went off to grab the teenagers. With Dipper's journal in his hands and Mabel bearing a tan sweater with a treasure chest on it, they were ready to head into the woods with their Grunkle Ford.

Stan stood up and started to work on the dishes. Hephzie made up her mind and went down into the hall and grabbed Ford's motorcycle helmet, which he had left hanging on the coat-rack by the door.

"Think fast!"

Stan turned around and quickly grabbed the thrown helmet as it knocked the air out of his chest with a little "oof".

"Put on some pants, Grumpy, I'm takin' ya out." Hephzie teased and grabbed the sponge from the sink to do the old man's chore for him.

"What are you up to?" Stan asked suspiciously.

Hephzie put on the most innocently mocking facial expression she could muster and asked, "What, a gurl can't take her friend out on the town?"

Stan rolled his eyes and started for his bedroom. "Ugh, fine. But we better not be goin' to the lodge! The guys don't 'like' or 'trust' me."

"HA!" Hephzie said, detecting the smile in Stan's voice but decided to ignore it as she scrubbed the pan clean. "They can't stand me, either!"

Hephzie waited until she heard Stan's footsteps disappear before relaxing. She finished the dishes and put some brown meat in a giant silver bowl as a special treat for Everest and some water in another silver bowl. Just as Hephzie had finished slicing up some apples for Waddles and put them on a plate for the sweet little pig, Stan came back dressed in a maroon button up, brown leather jacket, and white pants. His shirt was buttoned low to display his gold chain. He had left the fez to Soos for the day.

"Nice." Hephzie complimented and slipped on her leather jacket. "Let's hit the road."

Ford didn't have a car. Not because of finances, he could afford a pretty nice car or at least borrow Stan's if he wanted one, but he liked to walk in the woods. He always had. Luckily, so did Mabel and Dipper, and so the three Pines walked from the Mystery Shack and down the road before the tourists started to show up. They even crossed paths with Wendy as she headed into work. She wanted to help out in the bunker, but since Stan was home the likelihood that she'd get off work to join the gang was unlikely; until she, Dipper, Mabel, and Ford, saw Hephzie zip by them on her motorcycle with Stan hollering over the engine to go faster.

"Whoa!" Wendy laughed. "Guess I have the day off!"

Ford raised a brow at the young lady and that was enough to make Wendy continue on her way to work. Ford smiled at the trail of dust the motorcycle had left behind and led the way to the bunker in the woods. He was happy to see his brother get along with his girlfriend so well. He just hoped they wouldn't get into too much trouble.

To be perfectly honest, Stan had no idea what Hephzie was up to, but if he was even more honest, he didn't care. Anything to get out of the shack and have a good time. And, sure, he didn't know Hephzie all that well, but what he did know was that she was always up for some fun. Whether or not it was legal was irrelevant.

Once in town, Hephzie sadly had to follow the speed limit, but she soon pulled into an alleyway and removed her keys from the ignition. Stan looked out of the alley and above him at the glowing sign that read, "Skull Fracture".

"Great!" Stan said and took off his helmet, tossing it back to Hephzie and holding his jacket smuggly. "I could go for a drink."

Hephzie hung the helmets on the handles of the bike and walked with him to the door, which was guarded by the big tall day-shift guard who had words tattooed all over his body. After showing their IDs, the guard opened the door for Stan and Hephzie and they walked in to find most of the men fighting each other over the sound of heavy metal music.

"Sure ya can handle this place?" Stan challenged.

Hephzie punched his shoulder sharply, making him cringe and rub it, his aged face displaying a small smile behind his glasses. "I've beaten up every single one of these men before n' I'll do it again."

"What?! You have not!" Stan argued as he and Hephzie walked by all the fist-fights to get a table towards the back.

"Have, too!" Hephzie yelled back with a devilish grin. "Just ask Ford! I once beat up the whole bar when he somehow managed to piss off every other guy in this joint!"

"Yeah, still don't believe it." Stan said as he took a seat and left Hephzie to order two bottles of beer at the bar.

Seeing how he was only trying to antagonize her, Hephzie gave up and rolled her eyes as she slammed the bottles on the splintered wooden table. Stan took a bottle and opened it.

Hephzie sat next to him and said, "Alright, I bought ya drinks, now tell me what's on your mind."

Stan swallowed his alcohol and yelled, "What?! Since when did I agree to that?!"

"I don't make deals." Hephzie said coolly as she opened her bottle and tossed the cap over her shoulder. "I make laws."

"Good thing I have no problem breakin' the law." Stan sneered into his bottle.

"Oh, c'mon, ya big chicken." Hephzie said in a low voice to demonstrate that their conversation was private.

Stan studied her for a moment and saw that she was serious. Did she really just bring him out here to have a good time and talk? Well, he guessed a conversation with a friend wouldn't kill him. "I dunno, I guess I'm kinda losing my edge." Stan admitted in a quiet voice so no one would hear him, but everyone else in the bar was too busy with their own silly lives to care about what he was saying. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm happy for ya and my brother, but the last time I've had a remotely successful date I was nearly eaten alive by a spider."

"So, no widows then, hu?" Hephzie joked.

Stan's glare turned into a stare of amazement. "Hey, wait. You're a woman!"

"Gee, thanks for noticin'."

"I mean, say a guy was to ask you out, what should he say? What should he do?" Stan asked as he leaned over the table to try to keep the conversation under the radar.

"Ya want my datin' advice?" Hephzie asked and chuckled.

Stan frowned and straightened up. "Fine, it's not like I…"

"No, I'm not laughin' at ya." Hephzie said patently and explained herself. "It's just that it's not the first time a Pines man has asked for my datin' advice, n' I guarantee it won't be the last."

"And how'd it work out for Poindexter?" Stan asked as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Pretty good, up until a siren tried to sacrifice him to a giant monster in the lake."

"I've already kissed a siren, so I'm good."

Hephzie wolf-whistled and looked around the bar. There were a few girls around the area, mostly people from out of town, and so she then asked, "Okay, see any women ya like?"

Stan looked around and his eye caught a woman throwing darts a few feet away. She had a pretty good aim, and she was nice looking, too. Her eyes had more wrinkles than preferred, but her pixie-cut brown hair actually looked really nice and she wore a dark red t-shirt with a black skull on her back; she had a jacket tied around her waist and no ring on her finger.

"That one." Stan said and pointed to the darts-girl.

Hephzie saw her and nodded in both approval and understanding. "Okay, what do ya like about her looks?"

Stan shrugged. "I dunno, her hair?"

"Go up to her," Hephzie instructed and Stanley looked at her in shock. "Compliment her hair, then walk away."

Stan blinked and thought she might be setting him up for a good slap in the face. "You s…"

"Just do it!" Hephzie snapped and Stan stood up before she could hit him or something. "Just compliment her, n' walk away."

"Okay, okay."

If she was tricking him, Hephzie would pay. Stan walked past a table where two guys were arm-wrestling and another table where a game of poker was being held. The woman appeared to be alone and threw her last dart at the bullseye and paused to take a sip of her fruity drink. She saw Stan and he was glad her hands were empty of sharp things.

"Uh, hey." He said and cleared his throat. "I like your hair."

"Thanks." The woman muttered into her glass and peered at Stan, waiting for more. She didn't look pissed, which Stan thought was a good sign, but she didn't look too flattered or amused.

Stan could feel Hephzie watching him from behind. Keeping his cool attitude, he said, "Well, have a good one." And then Stan started on is way back to his seat.

He didn't get a chance to see if Hephzie approved of his actions or not, because the woman called back to him, "Hey, wait. You just complimented my hair and walked away?"

Stan turned and started to smile more confidently, but still a little unsure of what he was doing. "Well, yeah. I just thought you had really nice hair and wanted to say it. I usually say what's on my mind."

The woman smiled and said coolly, "You're not too bad looking yourself, handsome. I'm Sarah."

"Stan." He introduced and found he was actually enjoying himself. "I haven't seen you around. Ya new?"

"Just passin' by." Sarah said and leaned against the table her glass had rested on before. "Nice little town."

"Eh, it's okay." Stan chuckled with a shrug. "Ya know… I'm free tomorrow night if you're still in Gravity Falls and… I dunno, wanna grab a bite to eat." He knew he probably messed it all up. Hephzie had told him to just compliment her and walk away, but his gut told him to keep on talking, so he did. Not like it ever got him into trouble, right?

Surprisingly, Sarah smiled and pulled out a pen from her jacket's pocket. "I guess I'll be hungry by then. Here's my number." She grabbed Stan's wrist and carefully wrote it on the palm of his hand. "Call me tomorrow and we'll hammer out the details."

Stan blinked and tried to shake off his nerves long enough to get through the conversation. "Great! I'll call you tomorrow."

Sarah smiled and turned to the target to get her darts.

With her back turned, Stan ran back to his table with Hephzie and growled to her in a low voice, "What are ya, come kind of witch?!"

Hephzie laughed and said, "I just know how women work. See, if you're nice n' they don't feel any pressure, they'll go after ya."

Stan blinked. "You _are_ a witch."

"Don't call me that, _Lee_." Hephzie snarled darkly into her beer bottle. She never had a problem with name-calling, but whenever the term "witch" was used it seemed to touch a nerve.

Stan lifted his hands in surrender. "Sorry, geez."

"So, phone number, huh?" Hephzie asked, seeing the ink on his skin.

"I'm taking her out to dinner tomorrow night." Stan answered as he grabbed his bottle and took a swing.

"Congrats."

"Should I try your nice-guy-technique on Miss. Red over at the bar?" Stan asked, seeing a lady with graying red hair sitting at the bar and munching on carrots.

"Nah, " Hephzie said and shook her head. "Women are like beer. Sure, ya can gulp five down at a time if ya want, but you'll be sick n' be miserable later. Or, ya can enjoy the bottle ya got nice n' slow while ya still got it in your hands." And with that, Hephzie took the last sip from her bottle and slammed it on the table to prove her point.

Stan laughed and pounded his fist on the table. He had heard of a lot of stupid metaphors, but that one might be one of the dumbest ones he's ever heard! Hephzie slapped him over the head and was happy to not hear the sound of banged metal, but instead a yell of pain.

* * *

Mabel was stuck working with the smart men all day.

Like every morning for the past few days, she had trained with Hephzie in how to fight, now improving on her kicks like a natural (at least, according to Hephzie), but after breakfast the brunette had to help Dipper, Grunkle Ford, and Old Man McGucket with the bunker. At first she had been excited to help out. She had a great time helping build the bunk-beds with Soos and she thought she would have a great time helping out again today, but it wasn't as much fun as helping build the motorcycle.

In Mabel's mind, she just wasn't as smart as the other guys. She wasn't a scientist or had twelve PhDs or was as excited about the supernatural. Grant it, she did love all things weird, and she was smart in her own right, but she just didn't see that in herself. The fact remained that lately Mabel hadn't been her usual happy-self, and she didn't like it, but she had no idea how to make it go away. Her usual strategies weren't working; knitting seemed tedious now, Waddles' cuddles could only do so much, and even Ducktective lost it's magic. Mabel thought she might have just been in a slump. Sometimes you're just sad, and there's nothing you can do about it but wait it out.

But the days turned into weeks. Meeting Hephzie helped. Maybe that was why she liked the old woman so much? But now even her new friend lost it's spark! Mabel was slowly getting quieter and losing her color, like a storm cloud creeping over the morning sun. Mabel didn't like it. She didn't like this feeling, but she didn't know how to make it go away.

Maybe if she ignored it? Maybe if she punched it out? Maybe if she focused more on Bill and the bunker? Mabel tried and worked really hard. Her brother noticed her hard work on the bunker and praised her. Grunkle Ford ruffled her hair affectionately and made her smile for a moment. McGucket appreciated her ideas and contributed them into the rebuilding of the fallout shelter. Mabel felt included and she should be happy that she could help the people she loved. She should, right?

But she didn't.

When she wasn't trying to keep it up, her smile fell. When she wasn't thinking about the bunker or training, she was thinking about something else. Something she didn't want to talk about. Something she couldn't talk about. Not to Grunkle Stan or Grunkle Ford, not to Hephzie, not even to Dipping Sauce.

So when she, Dipper, Ford and McGucket had worked past lunch and got more work done than they thought they would, Mabel made up her mind to visit an old friend when it was decided that they could stop working for the day. Dipper planned to go back to the Shack and watch a movie, and he invited Mabel to join her, but she made a white lie and said she had already made plans with a friend. Trusting her better judgment, Dipper said goodbye and ran off for home, leaving Grunkle Ford and Old Man McGucket to close up the bunker as they debated on where to go for lunch and argued on who would pay.

Mabel said goodbye to the two old men and started her way for town, her head lower than normal and her feet slower than usual. Would he mind her surprise visit? She didn't think so, but maybe he would get mad at Mabel. No, it was most likely that he would welcome her too warmly and the brunette would want to leave immediately, but she had to try. She couldn't go to Candy or Grenda (Grenda was grounded for talking back to her mom and Candy was visiting her grandparents for the 4th of July week), so Mabel was running out of options, and plus, last time she had talked to him he was actually a lot nicer and less creepy.

She didn't have far of a walk. Just on the outskirts of town laid Gleeful's Auto Sales. Beyond the lot and on the road sat a little blue house with cheesy Southern decor such as a black iron gate and a fountain decorated with an angel that looked a lot like Gideon. Gross. Mabel was hesitant, but maybe if she was lucky he wouldn't even be home.

But before she could turn around and leave for a walk in the woods, Mabel found that the door was opening at the hand of a woman who was Gideon's mother. The bags under her eyes looked better and she stood up straighter, but her grey hair from all those years of stress was perminate, but despite that she did indeed look healthier and more beautiful. Let's just say it was clear where most of Gideon's good looks came from.

"Ms. Mabel Pines." She said in a soft voice as she opened the door for Mabel to come in. "Are ya here ta see Lil Gideon?"

"Yes, ma'am." Mabel said. "But I can come back later if…"

"Nonsense, he's just upstairs workin' on his crafts." Mrs. Gleeful said sweetly. "I'll getcha a snack and call him for ya."

"Thank you." Mabel entered the house and sat on the couch while Mrs. Gleeful fulfilled her promise and disappeared into the kitchen. A polite reply echoed down the stairs and a few seconds later Mabel saw Gideon walk down the stairs.

Appearance wise, he didn't change much. His hair was still as white as snow and bigger than his head, and he still wore a blue suit, but some things simply never change. The smile he wore seemed genuine, and that gut feeling Mabel usually had around him that told her to run for the hills was gone. Just by looking at him, Mabel guessed that Gideon had stayed true to his word and had allowed the near-death experience to change him for the better.

"Mabel Pines!" He cried in delight and sat on the couch, keeping his distance from Mabel to insure she was comfortable, but he was glad to see her nonetheless. "Good to see you! You look great!"

"Thanks. You do, too." Mabel said and found that she really meant it. "How's it going?"

"Things are going great, thanks for askin'!" Gideon replied cheerfully. "I may not have a lot of friends or dollar signs, but my old cellmates and I have been having a great time!"

Mrs. Gleeful returned with a tray holding a large bowl of animal crackers and a glass of sweet tea. Gideon took the time to stand on the couch and kiss his mother on the cheek in thanks for the snack and Mrs. Gleeful hugged her son and told him she would be at the store if she needed him. So that's why she was at the door when Mabel arrived.

When Mrs. Gleeful left and it was just the kids, Gideon asked, "How have you been, Mabel? Glad to be back in Gravity Falls?"

Mabel sipped her sweet tea, amazed by how delicious it was, and said, "Yeah, I've missed Gravity Falls. It feels great to be back."

Her smile was soon gone, and this did not go by unnoticed. Gideon pondered as he observed her frown. Truth be told, Gideon still cared a lot about Mabel. His obsession may be gone, but his feelings were still there. Many sessions with this therapist taught him that he had little to no control over what was around him, and that included Mabel, but what Gideon could control was how kind he was to the few friends he had. Even if he couldn't date her, he still wanted to be her friend.

"Are you okay?" Gideon asked before munching on an animal cracker. "Something on your mind, ole Makeover Buddy?"

Mabel looked at Gideon and saw that he was being serious. He wasn't trying to charm her or guilt her into a date. He was asking a question and generally wanted to know the answer. Mabel didn't realize her need to talk about it until the opportunity was right in front of her. Besides, who was Gideon going to tell?

"Yeah, actually... " Mabel hesitated and sat down her glass on the coffee table. "You got to swear not to tell anyone."

Gideon nodded and patiently waited for the brunette to speak again.

Mabel took in a deep breath and decided to get the first fact out of the way. "Bill's back."

Gideon's eyes were as big as dinner plates and his pupils as small as the head of a pin. Sweat trickled down his pale head and his mind went back to that awful traumatic experience of being trapped in a cage and being forced to dance for all eternity. His muscles had ached for days and it took a while to get rid of the bags under his eyes. Mabel expected him to freak out. To lash out, cry, maybe even flip over the coffee table. Instead, he took in a deep breath, held it as he counted to ten in his head, let go of it, and said in a calm voice, "Would you care for a makeover while we talk about it?"

Mabel smiled and found that a makeover did sound like fun. She gave a small nod and allowed Gideon to run up to his bedroom and grab some supplies.


	19. Gsv Xzon Yvuliv gsv Hglin

Ford decided to treat himself tonight. Sure, Bill was still out there and Ford had a lot of work to do, but with his best friend back in town, his old love interest in full swing, his family safe, and his work going great, he decided to give in for just one night and go all out.

With their dinner-date to The Soaked Sponge, Ford had hesitated, (and that was saying a lot considering he built a motorcycle for Hephzie from scratch), but tonight he wanted to go above and beyond expectations. At breakfast, he told Hephzie to wear her best dress and be ready for a nice evening out. She didn't ask any questions, but she did raise an eyebrow at him suspiciously and shrugged before turning her attention to Dipper and Mabel and asking them what their plans for the day was.

And so Ford borrowed his brother's car and drove into town. He headed to Gravity Malls and entered Mr. Fancy Oregon, a tuxedo shop. It was high time he got a new suit to replenish the one Stan stole from him. A nice young lady helped him pick out the right colors and sizes, and by lunchtime he got his polydactyl hands on a very nice tux. After a quick bite to eat, remembering Hephzie's unspoken love for flowers, Ford paid a visit to the local flower shop and carefully picked out a corsage with a matching boutonniere.

Hephzie still had a good chunk of money saved away from the insurance and for selling the land the burned down piano store stood on. Not a lot of money, certainly not enough to buy a new home, but it was enough to provide Hephzie with some necessities, like new clothes and toiletries, and anything else she might need while living with the Pines family. However, she guiltily found that she didn't need much with Stan providing hot meals and Ford refused to accept any form of rent. This made the tiny fortune she had last and allowed her to spoil herself.

Ford had told her to wear her best dress, but she had only gone clothes shopping once, and that had been with Mabel. During that trip, Hephzie had only gotten immediate needs, like blue jeans, button-ups and blouses, and pajamas. In other words, Hephzie's nicest clothes at the moment was a casual Sunday dress she had seen and Mabel had convinced her to get, but it was by no means fancy or classy.

Hephzie found she didn't mind a day by herself. She rode out and took her time trying on several dresses that would make Mrs. Northwest jealous. Hephzie was feminine, enjoying a break from pants and wearing a dress here and there, but she was simple and her taste were usually a little plain. There was a reason why her favorite color was gray. This date to hear the orchestra was an excellent way to let her more sophisticated side out, and Hephzie found that she was not at all bothered by this. A dress was picked out, along with new shoes, and jewelry, and old alchemist rode back to the Mystery Shack on her bike and began to get ready for the big night.

She and Ford weren't the only ones looking forward to the evening. Stan played Mr. Mystery the first half of the day to give him something to do, but he was looking forward to passing the fez back to Soos so he could go out on his date. Dipper and Mabel had plans with their friend-group to go see the new horror movie That and then throw water balloons off the rooftop of the theater.

Despite the exciting plans for the night with some of her favorite people, Mabel sat in the old armchair in the living room, not even bothering to turn on the TV or knit another sweater. She was still as a statue as she wallowed in her dark thoughts. Mabel had tried to feel better all morning. Her talk with Gideon helped a little bit, but she felt more weighed down by her guilt than ever before. She only told him about her fears of Bill returning. She didn't tell the boy what was really bothering her. Mabel had tried to feel better; training with Hephzie early in the morning, working on her scrapbook, helping Wendy run the register in the gift shop, she had even decided to wear her favorite shooting-star sweater. Before, it was her favorite because it was her first homemade sweater and was pretty. For awhile, it was her favorite because it represented her place in something bigger. Now, as she stared down at her chest and saw the symbol that copied the one on the zodiac destined to save the world, Mabel felt worse than ever before.

This was stupid. Grunkle Stan had no problem wearing his fez, even if he now shared it with Soos. And when Soos wasn't in a suit, he still wore his question-mark t-shirt. Dipper was happy to exchange hats back with Wendy when they returned for the summer, proud of his pinetree hat; he even bore the symbol on his journal. Robbie still wore his hoodie, Pacifica had kept the llama sweater, Gideon didn't hide away from his star, McGucket didn't ditch his glasses, Wendy had no problem letting ice represent her, even Grunkle Ford was no less proud of his six fingers than before-hand. Sure, Mabel noticed the way he stuffed his hands in his pockets, the way he would be lost in thoughts as he recounted his fingers, the way he drummed them on the table nervously, but he still allowed himself to be represented by what made him different, weird, and special. Why else would he have trademarked his journals, his research, with a golden six-fingered hand?

So why on Earth was Mabel so ashamed of her shooting star? Why was she so tempted to change her sweater, or better yet, destroyed the cursed clothing all together? Maybe throw it into a fire, or down the Bottomless Pit at midnight; items thrown at that time never came back, according to Grunkle Ford's research.

Mabel sighed and looked away from her sweater. The fact remained that she was not ashamed of her shooting star, but of what she did. She did an awful thing last summer, something no one could ever forgive her for. She couldn't let anyone know what she did. If people learned what Mabel was willing to do just to make summer last a little bit longer, all those people that loved her wouldn't anymore. She was sure of that. That fear brought tears to her eyes, which she blinked away. Mabel loved her family, her friends, Gravity Falls, the Mystery Shack. She couldn't stand to lose any of it - not again! - and if anyone discovered her guilty secret, she would. But did she even deserve all she had after what she had done? Did she deserve her home or her family? She knew she wouldn't receive forgiveness and she knew that that was what she deserved.

But still. It still hurt.

Tears threatened to spill over, so she wiped her stuffy nose on her sleeve and took in several deep breaths to try to calm down. She had to pull herself together. The owl-shaped clock on the wall told her that she and Dipper would be getting picked up by Thompson for pizza in half an hour. Mabel wanted to have fun tonight with her friends, even if she had to fake it.

Grunkle Stan was leaving the kitchen for the TV with a can of Pitt in his hand when he saw his great-niece sitting in his chair. He opened his mouth to tease and bark at her to get out of his seat, but the look on her face kept the old man silent. He had seen that look on her face before.

From the day the twins were born, Mabel and Stan had this unbreakable bond that not even Bill could shake. That little girl was one of the few people for a long time that treated him like family. Even when Dipper was unsure of their great-uncle, Mabel had always loved him and was proud to be a part of his family. In fact, if it wasn't for that brave, trusting young lady, Stanley wouldn't have his best friend back. So to see that little ball of sunshine so dim, he couldn't just go to the back porch and read his newspaper.

Stan walked into the room and sat himself on one of the right-armrest. "Hey, you okay, pumpkin?"

Mabel blinked and glanced up at her Grunkle. Already having him there, she felt a little bit better and managed to smile. "Yeah, I'm okay." Mabel looked up and down the old conman and saw that he was wearing similar to what he wanted to wear as mayor of Gravity Falls. Mabel sat up straighter and said, "Oo! What are you all dressed up for?"

Stan pointed a thumb to himself with his free hand and said, "This guy's gotta date!"

"What?!" Mabel cheered and smiled sincerely. "That's amazing! Who is she?"

"Just a biker-chick passing through town. That's the best part: if it ends badly I never have to see her again!" Mabel laughed alongside him for a moment until Grunkle Stan changed the subject. "Alright, alright, so are ya gonna tell me what's on your mind, kiddo?"

The brunette glanced away and tried to figure out what to tell him. He was professional conman. He could smell a lie a hundred miles away. So Mabel settled on telling him the truth, just not the whole truth. "I'm just thinking about my sweater."

Stan glanced down at it to see that it was the shooting-star sweater. "Oh." He fiddled with his can for a moment and asked, "What about it?"

"I don't think I want it anymore." Mabel answered, trying to be as casual as possible.

Stan knew exactly why she didn't want it anymore, and a part of him didn't blame her. Still, he wanted to hear her say it. She had to in order to feel better. "Why not? Ya growing out of it?" Stan guessed before sipping his soda.

Mabel shook her head. "It's just… every time I look at it… all I can think about is Weir… is what happened at the end of last summer."

Stan put an arm around the teenager's shoulders and she leaned against the armrest and his chest. "Believe me, kid, I get it. I get a heart-attack every time I see a triangle." He chuckled, trying to lighten the mood. "But… you can't let that guy ruin your favorite sweater. If ya do, you're letting him win." He finished by giving the girl a tight squeeze.

This wasn't the first time they had talked about Weirdmageddon. The great thing about the twenty-first century was the many different ways to communicate. Thanks to Ford's expertise in technology and Dipper and Mabel's familiarity with modern email, apps, and video calls, keeping in contact between summers was easy, even if sometimes it was just a text a day to make sure everyone was okay. Once or twice, still traumatized by the near-death experience, the two pairs of twins would email late into the night about what happened and how they were dealing with it. Now it seemed like they had moved past it, as a family, but with the threat of it all coming back, of course they would dwell on it.

Stan's words usually would have comforted Mabel, just like before, just like they had been for over a year now, but the problem wasn't with Bill. Mabel wasn't worried about what Bill did. She was worried about what she did. But she had learned a thing or two from Mr. Mystery, and so she put on the most convincing smile she could muster and said, "Thanks, Grunkle Stan."

He bought it. "Yeah, yeah," Stan teased and stood up. "I gotta go. I'll see you tonight, ya little gremlin."

He ruffled her hair and left the room. The gloomy feeling started to return, but not as powerful as before her conversation with Grunkle Stan. Mabel just felt so guilty. She wished she had talked to Stan about how she felt while she was in school and he had been sailing around the world. At least if he was mad at her it would've been easy to cut off contact with her. She wished she had told Stan when he just now asked if she was okay. She then wondered if this was what Grunkle Stan and Ford had felt when they had refused to apologize to one another to even attempt to make things right. Had they been too ashamed of what they had done to ask for forgiveness, and too afraid that they didn't deserve it? Maybe Mabel should…

She heard footsteps and a familiar voice. "Mabel, dear, have you seen Stan?"

Mabel turned her head to answer, but her jaw hung open and she gasped at her uncle. Grunkle Ford was dressed in a gray tuxedo with gold cuff-links, a navy-blue tie, and a gold tie pin that sparkled and shined.

"Grunkle Ford!" Mabel squealed and forgot her depressing feelings for a moment as she awed at her great-uncle in his crisp, new suit. "You look amazing! Are you dressed up for the orchestra?"

Ford grinned and checked his wrists to make sure they were covered. "Yes, well, I intended to make this night very special."

"How come?" Mabel asked, but then she gasped even harder and stood up in the armchair before whispering with shining eyes, "Are…"

"It just seemed like a good idea to spoil ourselves a bit tonight." Ford interrupted with a raise eyebrow. "The tickets weren't exactly cheap and so I thought I would treat Hephzie and I out on a more sophisticated date."

Mabel knew better than to tease Ford further on, and quite frankly she understood the want to be fancy every once in a blue moon, so she nodded and said, "Well, you look great! I can't wait to see Hephzie!"

Ford chuckled and thought about something for a moment. "Mabel… can I show you something?"

Mabel's smile dropped, but not the glee in her eyes. She was in awe to hear those words and the amount of trust in Ford's tone. That amount of trust was usually reserved for Dipper. Mabel nodded and pressed her lips together tightly to keep quiet. Grunkle Ford smiled and gestured for her to follow him. Mabel did so and he led them down into the kitchen.

Hiding in the back of the fridge were two thin cardboard boxes. Ford pulled them out and placed them on the table, where Mabel stood on a chair and anxiously waited for the old scientist to show what was in the boxes. Ford carefully opened one box and revealed a beautiful corsage of little white roses tied with a navy-blue ribbon. The flowers were real and still fresh. Ford opened the second box and showed Mabel a boutonniere sporting a single navy-blue rose and little white flowers to decorate the stem, along with a short navy-blue ribbon.

"Oh, wow!" Mabel breathed, her hand hovering over the flowers, wanting to touch but not wanting to ruin the flowers. "This is amazing!"

"And guess where we're going for dinner?" Ford had his great-niece guess.

"The Club?!"

Ford winked and Mabel approved of his decision, seeing how such a nice date needed the nicest restaurant in town. The elder of the two checked the electronic watching hidden underneath his tuxedo and saw that it was nearly time for the big night.

"Right, showtime." Grunkle Ford said and looked down at the teenager. "Care to give me a hand?"

Mabel gladly held the boxes of flowers for Ford and followed him to his bedroom, then hid on the stairs. Ford had just passed the stairs for his bedroom when Hephzie left the room and closed the door behind her for the sake of Ford's privacy. She looked up at him and smiled, only to find Ford staring at her with wide eyes and an open mouth.

Her navy-blue dress was long and grazed the floor. It sparkled, but the material was soft like silk. The sleeves were short, but dangled by her shoulders and flowed gracefully. Silver bands decorated her waist and shoulders, and Hephzie had exchanged her gold for silver, wearing silver earrings that dangled and sparkled, a silver choker necklace, and she had a small silver clutch in her hands. Her dreadlocks had been tied up in a delicate bun and pinned up by a beautiful silver comb that matched the rest of her jewelry.

"Hephzibah," Ford breathed and took a step forward. "You look beautiful."

Hephzie smiled. "You don't look half bad yourself, Handsome. Ready?"

"Not quite." Ford answered and his niece came around the corner and gave him the box holding the corsage. "Thank you, Mabel." Ford opened the box and carefully took out the delicate display of roses and ribbon. "May I slip this on your wrist, my dear?"

Hephzie stared at the corsage for a moment, surprised Ford had taken the time and money to spurge on the little decoration, and said, "Ya may." She stepped forward and held out her left hand to Ford.

He carefully placed the corsage on her wrist and tied the navy-blue ribbon tight enough so the flowers would stay in place, but loose enough so it wouldn't discomfort her. Suddenly Hephzie felt a squirm of guilt in her gut for not having a boutonniere for Ford, as is tradition, but when he had finished tying on the corsage, he took the second box from Mabel and opened it for Hephzie before giving it to her. Mabel ran off as Hephzie looked inside the box to find a boutonniere.

"Would you…"

"Always one step ahead of me, huh?" Hephzie asked as she gently lifted the boutonniere to the left side of his chest and began to pin it.

As she did so, a flash of light made her jump and prick her finger. Hephzie and Ford looked over to see Mabel holding a camera and pulling out a polaroid.

"I never miss a scrapbook-ortunity." Mabel stated proudly as Hephzie resumed her work.

Grunkle Ford restrained from rolling his eyes, understanding that it was her love for saving memories that saved his brother. He looked down at his puffed-out chest to find Hephzie pinning the boutonniere to his tuxedo as carefully as she could so the pin wouldn't ruin the suit or stab Ford by the heart. When she was done and the rose was secure, Mabel grinned and said,

"Alright, let's get a few more pics!"

Mabel managed to get a few in the hall and didn't have to do much convincing to get the couple outside for another picture in front of the woods. Everest and Waddles had been taking a nap on the porch, baking in the warm summer sun, and watched as the old scientist and alchemist posed in front of some trees as Mabel clicked away. When the teenager was satisfied, she lowered her camera and held the polaroids carefully in between her fingers so they wouldn't get smudged.

"Eck! Have fun tonight!" Mabel cheered.

"We will if we can ever get going." Ford said in an agitated tone, looking around for any sign of his brother. "Where the…"

"He n' I already traded keys, sweetheart." Hephzie chuckled and pulled out Stan's car key from her clutch.

"Oh." Ford took the keys and led the way to the old red Diablo.

Mabel saw them off as they drove away until they disappeared into the woods. She looked down at the photos in her hands and admired the two people in each photo, but her happiness did not last long. The looming feeling was starting to come back, but then…

A soccer-mom van honked its horn at Mabel as it rolled up to the Shack. She looked up at it and was pulled out of her dark thoughts. Mabel grinned and ran inside the house. Setting her camera photos on the dino-skull by the armchair. Dipper ran down the stairs and joined his sister before they bolted out the door, leaving Waddles and Everest alone in the house as they had slipped in for dinner.

The dog walked out of the kitchen, having just finished his meal, and went to the door to go outside and sleep on the porch. He loved the porch. He pushed against the door with his head, but it did not move. It scratched the door, but no one opened it. He sniffed the air and didn't smell sweat or glitter or iron or cologne. He was alone. He didn't mind being alone, but that didn't mean he didn't like it. Oh, well. They'd be back.

Waddles waddled into the living room and sat in the armchair. He sat and let his little beady eyes stare at the TV depressingly. Everest walked in and sniffed him, detecting his uneasiness. Everest caught a whiff of something and sniffed the air again. This time, he paid attention to something distinct. It wasn't a smell like rotting food that smell bad, but it still made the Saint Bernard sick to his tummy. He left the living room to find Mama.

Mama was usually in the shiny room that smelled like cologne, kerosene, and lead. It also smelled of metal, dust, and now that Mama slept there, it also smelled a little like her. Everest liked the shiny room. It smelled like Mama and that Man she liked so much. Mama liked the Little Girl and the Little Boy and the Other Man, but she liked the Man most. Everest liked the Man, too. The Man's scratches always felt Good.

But Everest couldn't find Mama or the Man. He sniffed the air and could still smell that thing he didn't like. It was Bad. It made his fur stand up on the back of his neck and made his tummy hurt. He didn't like it. It was Bad. If there was something Bad around, it might hurt Mama or the Man or the Other Man or the Little Girl or the Little Boy. He couldn't let that happen. But Everest couldn't see where the Bad was coming from. Everest didn't know where Mama was. He whimpered as he felt the room to find someone, anyone.

Waddles was still sitting in the armchair that smelled like the Other Man. Everest liked the Other Man. He usually gave Everest Food. Everest also liked Waddles. He liked to snuggle with Waddles and play with Waddles and eat with Waddles. But Waddles was still Sad. Everest didn't like to see anyone Sad. Sometimes Little Girl would be Sad, so Everest would snuggle with her until she was Happy again, so Everest climbed up into the armchair that smelled like the Other Man and curled up next to Waddles, resting his head on the pig's back.

Everest breathed in deeply to try to rest his aching tummy. He smelled the Bad again and knew Waddles could smell it, too. That was why he was Sad. Everest whimpered and Waddles oinked sadly, waiting for their Mommies to come Home.

* * *

The friend-group had ordered pizza and were eating it on the rooftop of the theater until it was time for the movie. Mabel was having so much fun that she didn't think about Bill, even if she was surrounded by a dozen yellow triangles. She picked up her third slice of pepperoni pizza and munched on it while she watched Lee and Nate dare Thompson to chug a whole litter of Pitt in under thirty seconds. Thompson was hesitant and shaky, knowing his body would hate him for it, but his friends would hate him if he didn't do it, so he took in a deep breath and started to chug as the boys chanted, "Chug! Chug! Chug!"

Wendy leaned against an air-vent with Robbie, Mabel and Dipper. Tambry was recording the latest Thompson-dare. Dipper and Wendy agreed fill Robbie in with what was going on, mostly telling him about the underground-bunker and the possibility that Bill might be back. Mabel was too submerged in watching Thompson chug the litter of soda to notice.

"Whoa." Robbie awed at his ex-girlfriend. "That's… trippy, man."

"Tell me about it." Wendy said with a sigh and a roll of her eyes. "Dr. Pines and Ms. Cece have been trying to find a way to stop him while we prepare for the worst."

"So, what? Ya want me to stand in a weird circle again?"

"Yes." Dipper said flatly. "If we need to."

Robbie shrugged and stuffed his hands in his hoodie. "Fine, whatever." He said carelessly, but he secretly did care. Being turned into a statue and then a flag wasn't fun, okay?

"C'mon, man." Wendy said and punched his shoulder, a cool smile on her freckled-face. "We're supposed to be having fun tonight! YO, GO THOMPSON!" The lumberjack's daughter called to her friend; he was halfway through the bottle.

"THOMPSON! THOMPSON! THOMPSON!" Lee and Nate chanted, followed by Mabel and Wendy, and then by Robbie and Dipper. It's just an obnoxious thing to do, and once you get used to it, you can't stop.

* * *

Greasy's Diner was about half-full that night. Sitting at the bar side-by-side, Stan was laughing over a story Sarah, his date, had just finished. And, no, he wasn't faking it. Only an hour with her and she seemed like a nice lady. She was from Ohio and had retired as a mechanic, and now she used her free time to travel all over America. From the sounds of it, she's already been to a handful of places. Stan had traveled a lot after leaving New Jersey, and so the two were happy to swap stories over burgers.

Stan was pounding his fist on the bar and Sarah sneered into her soda. Stan eventually calmed down and munch on a fry, but he annoyingly found a headache forming. He must have been laughing too loud or banging on the bar too hard. Was he really that old and sensitive? The headache was dull enough to ignore, so he did and started to tell his own story. "Ya know, something similar happened to me once. I was in New Orleans and this guy was from India, right?"

Sarah bit into her burger with her shoulders hunched over and her eyes on Stan. She was a good date. Not a whole lot of romance, but they had fun together. Stan went on to tell his tale, this time not ideal for selling merchandise, as his headache increased in pain. He rubbed his forehead casually, making it look like he was thinking as he told the story, but, of course, it did nothing to help his pain. Dang it. Why didn't he keep painkillers in his pocket? Maybe some caffeine would help. Stan paused to take a sip of his soda and went on. The coolness of the drink and the caffeine in his system did little to help his headache. Now it was getting frustrating. The pain was from behind his eyes. Stan pinched the bridge of his nose and rubbed his eyes while he told his story. Sarah was oblivious to this, too consumed with her dinner and her date's tale.

"So I yelled, 'That's what she said!' and drove off for my life!" Stan concluded and laughed at the memory.

Sarah covered her mouth with a hand as she tried to swallow her bite before laughing alongside him. She soon patted his shoulder, and she chuckled and said, "Nice! So, I'm guessing you haven't been back since."

"Nope." Stan answered and rubbed his eye before taking a bite of his own burger, enjoying the fact that it had extra bacon.

"Shame, it's beautiful! Ya should totally check it out again."

Stan shrugged at the idea, knowing he probably could if he and Ford stopped by on their way to the Arctic Ocean by passing the Panama canal and traveling up the Atlantic closer to the States, but he really couldn't care less right now. Stan sat his burger down and rubbed his eye again. It was really starting to burn. His heart skipped a beat as a thought came into his mind. No, no, no!

Stan stood up quicker than normal and tried to come up with an excuse. "Bathroom." He managed to spit out before leaving for the men's room, leaving Sarah only to shrug as she ate her dinner.

The old conman tried to walk in calmly, but once he was alone in the rusty restroom, he darted to the cracked mirror and removed his glasses, letting them dangle from his hand as he gripped the sink. He studied his burning eye carefully and saw that it was red again. It burned and his headache was worse than ever now. Stan felt a wave of pain come over his eye, forcing him to squeeze it shut. It never hurt this bad before. It felt like something was stabbing him in the eye, but much worse than an eyelash or a torn contact. It made both of his eyes water. He wiped his left eye dry of tears, but his right had to be wiped dry of blood. Dang it.

Stan looked down at his fingers before looking at his reflection. A line of blood was running down his five o'clock shadow from his right eye. It burned and ached so bad. Stan tried to wipe the blood away to ease his pain, but it was futile as more blood formed and flowed down the side of his face. He pocketed his glasses, turned on the faucet and bent down to wash his face. He used warm water to try to help his headache. After he splashed some water on his face, he focused on rinsing his right eye clear of blood. He couldn't see what he was doing, but he assumed at one point that he must have made some progress, so he blindly reached for some paper towels and patted his face dry. He straightened his aching back and looked in the mirror with blurry vision, but he could have sworn that he saw a golden triangle with one eye behind him.

He was rigid. A shiver crawled up his back. Anger fueled his soul. Stan blinked, and though it was hard to see without his glasses, he could have sworn he could see Bill.

Stan took in a deep breath and held it. Before he lost his nerve, he whipped around, but found that he was alone. He blinked hard, but saw no golden triangles. Was it just an illusion? A reflection off of the mirror that spooked him? Dang it. Stan turned back to the mirror to check his eye again. It still hurt, but the blood was slower now. It pooled around his eye, but it didn't run down his face. Stan slipped on his glasses and took another look around the bathroom. Nothing. Right. Old-Man Paranoia. Looks like he did catch it from Sixer.

Stan removed his glasses one more time and used a new paper towel to wipe under his eye. It scratched uncomfortably on his wrinkled face, but at least it cleaned up the blood. All at once, the world seemed to spin like it would on the Stan O' War II during a bad storm or rough seas. Stan held his head and breathed deeply to try to ease his migraine. He felt nauseous and suddenly he regretted eating a Triple Bacon Lover's Burger. He scrunched up his eyes, causing a drop of blood to escape his eye, and then he opened his eyes and looked in the mirror again.

DANG IT!

While the rest of the world may have been blurry to Stan, Bill was crystal-clear. He had his stupid top-hat and his stupid bow-tie and his stupid big eye and stupid brick body, but he didn't seem all there. He didn't have a physical form like he did during Weirdmageddon, but that didn't help Stan's anxiety. Bill looked just like he had before he entered Stan's mind. He was transparent, like someone had taken a golden marker and drawn the triangle from the back of the dollar bill and given it little arms and legs and a top-hat. He glowed slightly, like a ghost, and he stared blankly at Stan's reflection in the cracked mirror.

"Good to see you again, Knucklehead!" A voice echoed. "But I've got bigger fish to fry! Thanks for helping me get back, but maybe Sixer and Half-Pint can do a better job than you ever could!"

At the mention of his brother, something in Stan snapped him out of his shock and gave him the ability to turn around and throw a left hook. His fist hit the wall instead and he could feel his hand crunch as it impacted the ugly wallpaper that hid the wood that built the diner. Stan growled and held his hand as he quickly turned around to check the mirror again. Bill was gone.

Stan washed his face and put his glasses back on before double checking. He was alone. Already, his headache was starting to leave him, but his eye still bled. Stan tried to think clearly past his pounding head and fast-beating heart, and he knew what he had to do. He ran out of the bathroom and pulled out his wallet as he walked back to Sarah.

"Sorry, I have to go."

"Hey, you…" Sarah paused in shock. Stan's right eye was closed and a little bit of blood rested between his eyelids. "Are you okay?! You're bleeding!"

"M'fine." Stan threw down more than enough cash to cover for dinner. "I have to go. Call me when you're in town again."

Sarah gave a small smile to show that there were no hard feelings between them and waved him goodbye as he swiftly left the diner. Stan fished around his brown-leather jacket's pocket and pulled out the keychain with a golden H, then hopped on the borrowed motorcycle parked next to Sarah's.

* * *

The movie was about to start, so Dipper pulled out his phone to silence it. When he turned it on to do so, he saw that he had gotten a text from Grunkle Stan. Texts or emails from him over the last year weren't unusual, but they had ceased since the Mystery Twins had returned to Gravity Falls. Besides, wasn't he on a date? Dipper opened it and his eyes grew wide. He looked over at Mabel. She had just felt her phone buzz in her skirt and she read the same message Dipper had.

They exchanged worried looks and then looked up at Wendy, who had noticed the glow from their phones. "We gotta go." They hissed in unison.

Wendy glanced down at the text displayed on Dipper's screen and nodded. "We gotta go." She whispered to their friend-group and the three stood up and headed out.

"You serious?" Tambry asked.

"What's up?" Nate asked with a mouth full of popcorn.

But they were already gone. Tambry, Lee, Nate, and Thompson watched the first trailer play on the big screen, but Robbie's eyes lingered for a moment on the exit before watching the trailer, too, his arm wrapped around his girlfriend.


	20. US ZC OG FC

"Hm… Mozart's _Eine Kleine Nachtmusik_."

"Which movement?"

"Four. _Rondo-Allegro_."

"Very good." Hephzie whispered back as the symphony played gracefully.

The music echoed off of the vast, curved ceiling and rained down on the audience. The whole atrium was made of polished wood with delicate carvings. The seats were velvet and soft, comfortable enough to sit in for hours. Which was good, because that was Ford and Hephzie's plan.

Dinner was delicious at The Club, but the experience to attend the Northwest Symphony's performance was the highlight of the evening. Hephzie had her right hand entangled with Ford's left and resting on the armrest between them. Her head was on his shoulder and the two whispered quietly enough to not disturb the other audience members. They were mostly silent, unless they were quizzing each other on the music being played or making a comment here and there.

"What year?"

"Hm," Ford hummed, his cheek resting on Hephzie's head, just barely missing her decorative bun. "I believe it was 1797."

"1787, but close enough."

"Ah, right." For someone who hadn't studied music in over thirty years, that was very impressive.

The symphony played well. There was something special about hearing the music live, feeling it rumble beneath Ford's polished shoes, having it dance in his ears, seeing the conductor and his performers work to create something so beautiful; but what made it worth every penny was Hephzie's reaction to it all. When they had pulled up to the auditorium, when they had walked in, when they had taken their seats, and even now as they listened, Hephzie's eyes sparkled excitedly. She was an old lady, not a hyper teenager, but in her smile, a tiny bit of a fangirl leaked out. Ford knew he had that same look when they used to play Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons.

He felt relaxed with her by his side and folding his hand. He looked down at their hands and smiled. Her fingers fitted perfectly in between each of his own, thanks to his rare birth-defect. Her hand felt warm and soft under his hold. He rubbed over a transmutation-circle tattoo with his thumb and averted his eyes to hers. They were closed as Hephzie listened. Her other hand - her left hand - was drumming on her armrest unsteadily, but Ford soon recognized that she was playing the notes on a nonexistent piano, along with the song the symphony played. Ford smiled at this and kissed the top of her head before watching conductor act like a madman as he guided the musicians.

He almost didn't noticed the buzzing in his pocket. Almost. When he first felt it, a twinge of annoyance strung in his system, like an out-of-tune note in a song. There was a reason he kept it on vibrate, in case there was an emergency, and remembering that made his annoyance disappear and his heart-rate pick up speed. With his free hand, he pulled out his flip phone and opened it to find a text message from his brother. He clicked on it and read it as terror erupted within his system.

"Hephzie," Ford hissed. "We have to go."

He lowered his phone so Hephzie could read the message. She sat up and let go of Ford's hand. She looked at him dead in the eye and nodded with a grave look on her face. She was prepared. The two swiftly got up and tiptoed over the legs of fellow audience members, not really giving a flying fish about how much of a ruckus they were causing.

Once outside in the cool night air, they ran to the car and sped away for the movie theater. A few blocks away they saw two brown-haired teens and a red-headed lumberjack walking towards where Ford and Hephzie were going. Ford rolled down his window and stopped the Diablo.

"Get in!"

Dipper, Mabel, and Wendy did as they were told and got in the back with Wendy behind Hephzie and Dipper between the girls.

"Stan messaged you, too?" Ford assumed as he drove off for the woods.

"Yes," Dipper answered. "What's the plan?"

"First, we're taking Wendy home…"

"No."

"Excuse me?" Ford snapped.

"No, Stan Two." Wendy snarled. "Sorry, but I'm not leaving you guys to deal with this on your own. Anyways, isn't the shack the safest place to be right now?"

Hephzie put a hand on Ford's shoulder as he opened his mouth to argue. "She has a point, Stanford. N' we're gonna need all the help we can get if we wanna defeat Bill."

Ford gripped the steering wheel a little tighter. "Fine. We'll meet up with Stan at the Shack and think of a way to trap the bloody triangle. We need to alert everyone who was a part of the zodiac."

"We just told Robbie." Wendy commented.

"And McGucket knows, too." Mabel remembered and started to count off the names on her fingers. "And… I told Gideon that he might come back…"

"Gideon Gleeful?!" Hephzie turned to look at Mabel with an ugly scowl. "What does he have to do with anythin'?"

"He was a part of it, too…"

"Oh, great." Hephzie growled as she sat straight.

"We can't let drudges get in the way again!" Ford scolded, remembering all too well that it was their inability to cooperate that doomed them all last time. No, it was his own inability to cooperate that doomed them all last time. "What about that blond-headed girl? The llama?"

"Pacifica Northwest?" Dipper asked. "I haven't told her."

"Me, neither." Mabel admitted. "I was thinking about inviting her over for a sleepover…"

"We'll have to tell her, too." Ford said. "I'll call McGucket and, Wendy, if you'll get Soos to meet us at the Mystery Shack…"

"Already done." Wendy said as she sent the text.

"Then we'll gather Robbie, Gideon, and Pacifica and work together to destroy Bill once and for all!"

"YEAH!" The three teenagers cheered victoriously from the backseat.

The Diablo raced through the dark forest for home. Soon, they came up on a motorcycle and drove next to it to find Stan on it. The brothers exchanged nods as they traveled together for the Mystery Shack. Once on the familiar grounds, no one wasted anytime to run into the cabin, where the unicorn spell would protect them. Soos was already in the living room, petting an anxious pig and Saint Bernard dog in the armchair.

"Waddles!" Mabel cooed and ran to her pet.

Waddles scrambled off of Soos and ran to his master. Mabel hugged the pig and squashed their cheeks together to try to calm Waddles down. Everest jumped down and ran to Hephzibah. He stood on his back paws, his front on her chest, and licked her face in relief that she was home. Once he was done, he moved to Ford, and then Stan.

"GAW! C'MON!"

"Dudes, is he really back?!" Soos asked as he stood up.

"I saw him, Soos," Stan growled as he shoved the dog off of him and Everest moved to lick Dipper. "He's back, alright."

"He must have obtained enough strength to leave, but without a physical form there's not much he can do." Ford informed as he began to pace the room in thought, his hands buried in his tuxedo pockets.

"Don't underestimate him, Fordsie." Hephzie advised.

"He's like a ghost now." Stan added. "He didn't have a body, but… he looked like he did when he turned into a statue. He was gold, but see-through."

"Bill once told me that without a body to possess, you're practically a ghost." Dipper remembered as he scratched Everest's chin. "But when I was in the Mind Scape no one could see me, so how come we can see him?"

"I don't know." Ford answered, still pacing the room as the gears in his head were spinning. "But we have to do everything in our power to destroy him! If we could track him…"

"I can go find him."

"NO!" Ford stopped his pacing and yelled at Hephzie, but he was not the only one that yelled. Everyone in the room did, making Waddles squeal in discomfort and Everest whimper at the loud noise.

"It's our best shot!" Hephzie argued. "I've known him since I was a little gurl. If anyone can track him down, it's me. Besides, y'all can afford to lose me; I wasn't a part of the zodiac, remember?"

"We're not gonna throw you to the wolves just to find the stupid triangle!" Stan growled and pointed to Hephzie.

"First off, I personally know wolves n' can assure ya they would never hurt me. Second, I'm not marchin' towards the Grim Reaper! I'm simply gonna find Bill so y'all can destroy him. Someone's gotta do it, so it might as well be me."

Stan looked at Ford, giving him permission to make the final call. As much as he hated it, Ford had to admit to himself that Hephzibah's logic was accurate and that having her on lookout was the best option. The only other open they had was to wait around for Bill to haunt them or summon him themselves, none of which was ideal. Then again, sending Hephzie to go find him when she was the key to a human body for Bill wasn't ideal either.

"But he wants you." Ford emphasized. "He wants you to make him a… a physical form, so sending you out there isn't a good idea, either."

"Well, what do ya recommend, Dumb-Dumb?" Hephzie snarled as she crossed her arms over her chest. "We can't act like sittin' ducks n' wait for him to show up or hide in the Shack forever."

"Sure we can!" Stan jammed a thumb towards the direction of the kitchen. "We've got plenty of brown meat and all the cable we could ever want!"

"Very funny, Stanley." Ford said with a roll of his eyes. "But, seriously, we need…"

"Everest!" Dipper called, but the dog ignored him.

Waddles ran from Mabel's grip and hid between the armchair and the wall, trembling as he curled up into a ball. Meanwhile, Everest ran from Dipper's scratches and growled at the door that led out to the porch. Hephzie looked at her dog and recognized the way he stood ready to attack and the way his fur stood up on the back of his neck.

"It's Bill." She confirmed.

Stan slipped on his brass knuckles, which he had stashed away in his brown-leather jacket. Ford pulled out his gun from his tux and Hephzibah grabbed the sword and scabbard that hung from the coat-rack. She slipped the scabbard over her dress and pulled out the sword, ready to fight. Wendy pulled out an axe from nowhere and Soos lowered his hat.

"Wendy, Soos, you stay here and look after the kids. Ford, Hephzie and I…"

"No!" The four said inunison.

Stan whipped around and glared at his two employees. "I gave you an order!"

"Sorry, Mr. Pines, but I have a new mission now: protecting the whole Pines family, and that includes you dudes." Soos said with his shoulders up and chest high with pride.

"And when have I ever obeyed your stupid orders?" Wendy asked her old boss.

Stan growled in frustration. It would be nice to be able to say something without being told "no". "Fine, but your first priority is to keep Dipper and Mabel safe."

"Fine." Soos and Wendy agreed.

The Mystery Twins felt a little insulted as they were being talked about like they weren't in the room. "Hey, we can take care of ourselves!" Dipper snapped.

"Yeah!" Mabel agreed as she pulled out her grappling hook. "Don't forget you defeated Bill three times!"

"You two are right," Grunkle Ford said and got on one knee in front of his niece and nephew, his brother behind him and Hephzie checking the door for any sign of Bill. "We're going to need all the help we can get, and that includes you two, but you also know what he's capable of doing." An echo of a memory rang in Ford's head. He could almost see Dipper and Mabel trapped in Bill drip, their lives on the line. _"_ _I think I'll kill one of them now, just for the heck of it!"_ "So, here's the deal." Ford went on, pushing the memory away. "You can come with us and fight against Bill. However, if we tell you to run, you run. If we tell you to hide, you hide. If we tell you to save yourselves and leave us behind, you do it. Do you understand?"

Dipper and Mabel glared at their Grunkle Ford while he kept a stone-cold face. It was clear that no one would move from that spot unless the twins agreed to the terms. As much as Dipper and Mabel hated it, they would simply have to make sure it never came to that.

"Fine." Dipper sighed.

"Deal." Mabel grumbled.

"Good." Ford said with a small smile and a nod of his head to show his approval.

"Uh, guys," Hephzie said from the door. "Y'all might wanna take a look."

Ford stood up and he and his family took Hephzie's advise. Deep within the forest, almost too far away to see, a tiny speck of golden light could be seen, flickering like fire. Hephzibah opened the door and Everest stood between the humans and the exit to keep them from leaving. He growled at them warningly, but Hephzie was unfazed.

"Outta the way, Everest." She ordered impatiently and pulled him by his collar back into the house.

Stan and Ford led the way out, followed by Dipper and Mabel, and Wendy and Soos brought up the near.

Hephzie nearly closed the door on Everest as he tried to run after them, but she stopped him and scolded, "Everest, stay!" She closed the door sharply and tried to ignore the guilt that bubbled inside her stomach at hearing her dog whimper and scratch at the door. She needed him to stay safe and let them do what they needed to do.

"He's out there…" Ford said in a low voice. "Somewhere…"

"Than let's find him n' teach him a lesson." Hephzie hissed and led the way into the woods.

Ford and Stan followed. Dipper and Mabel stayed close behind them, and Soos and Wendy brought up the rear. The light was dim and weak, but it still existed. They followed it deeper into the forest and to an area they hadn't been to since last summer. It was getting too dark for comfort, so Dipper pulled out a flashlight from his backpack and Mabel pulled out her phone and used it's flashlight.

Ever so slowly, they came across a small clearing. Cushioned in overgrown bushes and nesting at the edge of the small clearing, a corner of stone could be seen. Golden light was illuminated from it. Ford pulled out a six-fingered black rubber glove and slipped it on his right hand, just in case, and he pulled some of the bush back to reveal a statue of Bill Cipher.

It was like the body he had left behind to go into Stan's mind hadn't changed at all. Most of it was still covered by the bushes, but most of its face, it's top-hat, and it's right hand could be seen. With no soul inside, the stone triangle was lifeless and useless. Coming from around and below the statue was golden light. The little group of humans awed at the image before them. Stan's fists tightened at the sight of the statue. Mabel's heart skipped a beat and she edged closer to her brother.

Ford looked around the clearing and guessed, "This must be where Bill's Fearamid was."

"Wait a minute," Wendy said slowly and walked to the statue of Bill. She grabbed his hand and lowered it, like a lever.

The statue started to edge it's way towards Ford, and Hephzie pulled him back before his feet could be crushed. The statue was slowly edging away from a hole in the dirt, but it wasn't something a mole-person had dug. It was where the golden light was coming from. The gang peered down at the hidden entrance once the statue of Bill had stopped and saw what looked like black brick.

"Incredible." Ford whispered.

"Right," Hephzie said and lowered herself towards the entrance and pocketed her sword. "Into the rabbit hole."

Hephzie sat at the edge of the hole and pushed herself off. The fall was only about ten feet, and she landed perfectly on her feet, her knees buckling only slightly under her weight, but that may also be due to the fact that she had chosen a bad day to wear heels. She straightened her dress and looked around the room. The whole room was made of black brick with lines that glowed blue, green and purple. Despite this, the dirt ceiling glowed gold above Hephzie's head. There was something that looked kind of like the pedestal in which a throne would be hanging upside down from the ceiling, but no throne was to be found. There were no doors or windows to be found, except a large red-glass window that was shaped like Bill's eye, but it only showed dirt.

Hephzie looked up at her friends, who were watching her anxiously, and whispered, "It's okay. The room's empty."

Without question, Ford hopped down and landed on one knee before standing back up on two legs. Stan followed and held up his hands to catch Mabel and Dipper as they jumped, too. They then made way for Soos, who fell on his face, and then for Wendy, who landed with a backflip.

They all looked around the room and Dipper said, "Whoa, I recognize this place."

Hephzie stared down at him. "Ya do?"

"Yeah," Dipper went to one of the walls and ran a hand over it, noticing that it was leaning at a slight angle. "I think this whole place is the Fearamid, but upside down."

"Dipper's right!" Mabel agreed and pointed to the pedestal that hung from the ceiling and nearly touched the floor. "But wasn't this place… bigger?"

"Much bigger." Wendy said as she looked up. "It took up most of the pyramid. Except for the top."

"Bill's study." Ford muttered, the only person who had seen it.

"So why is it so much smaller now?" Soos asked.

"Great question, Question Mark." A voice echoed in the room, making the humans circle and position to fight, watching each other's backs. "But you'll find once you've been destroyed on a molecular level, it's hard to get every piece of you back. Mr. Mystery knows what that's like, don't ya?"

"I've beaten you once and I'll do it again, ya one-eyed demon!" Stan yelled as he looked around for something to yell at.

"Aw, c'mon, don't tell me you didn't miss me." The voice echoed once more, but still there was no telling as to where it was coming from. "What about you, Sixer? Admit it, you missed me."

"Yes," Ford growled, his gun ready to shoot. "But my aim has gotten better since the last time I've tried to shoot you. Care for a demonstration?"

"You're in no position to threaten me, Fordsie!" The voice echoed as the only exit started to close.

Wendy and Soos got closer to Dipper and Mabel and the four tried not to panic over the fact that they were trapped. The three old people were too busy keeping an eye out for Bill to be too scared. Yet.

"You really thought you mortals could trap me?!" The voice cackled. "I'm the Master of the Mind! I'm over a trillion-years-old! I see EVERYTHING!" The voice deepened and dozens of eyes opened from the walls of the vast room. "What makes you think you can defeat me?!"

"We've done it before!" Dipper yelled.

"And we'll do it again!" Mabel yelled, making a quick fist-bump with her brother.

"Right, you 'defeated' me. Then tell me, Shooting Star. If you defeated me, why am I still here? Face the music, kid. You've NEVER won! It's NEVER over! Just ask Half-Pint!"

"Shut it!" Hephzie snarled.

"Just try and make me, Sweet-Cheeks!" The voice laughed. "But first let's see if you guys can handle a little Qonfusion!"

The black brick below the humans' feet began to crumble and soon they all fell underneath the rumble. Hephzie soon landed on the floor and scampered out of the way of falling rocks, but her long dress was caught under a rock. She tugged until her dress was ripped free, exposing her ankles, and Hephzie dodged falling rocks as she tried to find her friends. Stan landed and got up slowly to find a large boulder about to hit his brother. He ran up and managed to push Poindexter out of the way, but a rock smacked against Stanley's skull and he fell unconscious. Ford tried to get to his twin, but he saw Mabel about to fall painfully and he caught her before running out of the way of the falling bricks.

After a few painful moments, the falling rocks stopped.

Dipper held his head and felt someone touch his shoulder. "Dipper, sweetheart, are ya hurt?"

The teenager looked up and saw Hephzie looking down at him, her dreadlocks down from her bun and her navy-blue dress torn. Dipper slowly got up on his knees and said, "No, I'm okay."

Hephzie extended a hand to help him up and he took it. Once he was up, Dipper tested his arms and legs for anything broken, but apart from a few scrapes and bruises he was fine. Dipper looked around, his fallen flashlight their only source of light, and saw that they appeared to be in some sort of hallway, alone.

"Where are the others?" Dipper asked, his voice dripping with panic.

Hephzie sighed. "I don't know."

Meanwhile, Ford was catching his breath and trying to steady himself now that the chaos had stopped. He looked down at the girl in his arms and asked, "Mabel, are you okay?"

"I-I think so." The brunette said and looked to check that her great-uncle was okay. He was dirty and his unruly grey hair was ruffled, but he seemed okay. There was a tear from where a rock had hit his shoulder, but it didn't look like he was bleeding. "Your new suit." Mabel whined at seeing it ruined.

Grunkle Ford sighed and hugged his niece. "You're more important, my dear."

Mabel gratefully returned the hug and allowed Ford to stand with her in his arms. When she let go and looked around the hallway they were trapped in, she asked,

"Where are we? Where's everyone else?"

Ford sighed and sat Mabel down to stand on her own. "I don't know."

At the same time, Stan felt someone shaking him and he could have sworn he could hear people yelling. He wished they'd shut up and leave him alone. He wanted to sleep. But then… Stan opened his eyes to find Soos and Wendy on either side of him, both looking worried and Soos had a white bandage on Stan's head. Their only source of light was coming from Wendy's cellphone.

"Mr. Pines, you're alive!" The handyman gasped.

"I told you he was, Soos!" Wendy reminded him before asking Stan, "How do you feel?"

"Like crud." He groaned as his employees helped him sit up, his head spinning. He held the bandage himself and felt his injury. It wasn't too bad, just hurt and bled, that's all. "What the heck happened?"

"We're separated, dude." Soos said as he looked around the hallway they were trapped in and began to panic. "Game over, dude! GAME OVER!"

"Soos, getta grip!" Wendy yelled and slapped Soos across the face.

Soos calmed down and muttered, "Thanks."

"No prob." Wendy helped Stan up to his feet and asked, "What should we do?"

The old conman sighed to try to relieve some of the pain in his head. "I'll tell ya what we're gonna do. We're gonna find that stupid triangle and kick him back where he came from!"


	21. Frqixvhg aqg Wrr Forvh

Ford touched one of the walls with a gloved-hand. Before he had been separated from his allies, Bill had uttered one word that worried the scientist.

"Grunkle Ford?" Mabel asked and waited until the old man turned to look at her. "What did Bill mean by Qonfusion?"

Yup, that was it. Ford got on one knee to be eye-level with his niece and said, "In the Nightmare Realm, Bill had once used a maze called the Quadrangle of Qonfusion to try to hide from me. There, I was able to avoid the maze by lunging myself at him, but here we can't defy the laws of gravity."

"Well, this is Gravity Falls." Mabel joked.

"I doubt the absence of gravity would help much, Mabel." Ford said as he pointed at the ceiling.

"Oh." She sighed and looked around the dark hallway, using her phone to help light the way. She checked to see if she had any bars to call anyone, but she didn't receive any reception in the Fearamid. "So, what do we do now?"

"We need to find the others and get out of here." Grunkle Ford answered. "But it won't be easy. If this place is anything like the Quadrangle of Qonfusion, than it will be almost impossible to figure out."

"We can do it!" Mabel said optimistically. She started to lead the way down the hallway and then asked, "So, you almost had Bill back in the Nightmare Realm?"

Grunkle Ford smiled and said, "Well, yes. After thirty years of gathering the materials I needed and barely surviving out in the multiverse, I was ready to face him with my Quantum Destabilizer, when suddenly the whole Nightmare Realm began to shake and a ripped hole in the dimension appeared! I ran for my life until I emerged back into Dimension 46'\ ."

Mabel gasped as they kept on walking. "That was the day you came home!"

"That's right. I can't be sure what would have happened, but there's a good chance that if Stanley hadn't reactivated the portal, I might have taken down Bill that day." Ford informed his little audience. "That's another reason why I was mad at Stan. Not only did he create the rift, he also destroyed my chances of destroying Bill. All those long years of work, ruined."

Mabel suddenly wished she hadn't asked. So, not only was it her fault that the rift had formed, but it was also her fault that Bill was still alive. It was her fault that Bill had nearly taken over the Earth, entered Stan's mind and had to be erased along with it, and was now trying to destroy them. Her chest felt heavy and her eyes began to sting. Mabel rubbed her eyes with her sleeve and tried to focus on getting through the maze.

Ford noticed how quiet she was and looked down to see the worried look on her face. He misinterpreted her facial expression, think Mabel was concerned that Ford was still mad at Stan, and picked the story back up with, "But, of course, I'm not mad anymore. If it wasn't for Stan I wouldn't be here right now. I wouldn't have met you or Dipper, I would have never made up with Stan and sailed around the world with him. Sure, some bad came out of it, but not without some good."

Mabel looked up at her uncle and asked, "So, you don't regret it?"

That was a good question. There were times he wished he had taken down Bill that day. If he had just managed to do it before the portal opened, then Ford never would have had to erase Stan's mind, but no good ever came out of asking "what if" all the time. Ford had seen a handful of dimensions that answered that very question and they weren't all that much better than his home dimension.

"No." Grunkle Ford said flatly and ruffled Mabel's hair affectionately. "No, I don't regret it."

Mabel smiled and took his hand. "Good."

* * *

Dipper tried to crawl away at the rubble, but his attempts were futile. It only threatened to crush the teen, so Hephzie pulled him away and held him by his shoulders to talk to him. "Dipper, listen, it's no use! Bill obviously wanted to separate us. We have to find the others another way."

Dipper sighed and looked down the dark hallway. The light from Dipper's flashlight could only go so far until it turned into a tunnel of darkness. "I guess we have no choice."

"Don't worry." Hephzie said calmly as she let go and started down the dark hallway, her ripped navy-blue dress sparkling in the little light they had. "If we keep on walkin' I'm sure we'll run into someone."

"Let's just hope it's not Bill."

They kept on walking until they hit a corner turning them left. They followed it and later turned right. Then they hit a part in which the path split in two different directions.

"Which one do we take?" Dipper asked as he shined the light into each hallway.

"I dunno. Flip a coin for it?" Hephzie asked as she shrugged. Dipper gave an unapproved look that reminded her a bit of Ford. "Okay, okay, let's try this, then." Hephzie opened a small pocket that was on her scabbard and pulled out a small piece of white chalk. "I always keep some on me in case I need to use alchemy." She bent down and drew a star on the floor where the path splits. "There! Now, let's try the left one, n' if we end up back here we know not to go this way."

"That seems a little haphazard."

"Ya got a better idea?"

"Nope." And Dipper led the way down the left hallway.

They walked down until it turned to the right. Then left. Then right again. As they walked, Hephzie made a dotted line on the wall, like breadcrumbs to find their way home. All the turns were starting to get a little dizzying, but at least they weren't in any real danger. Right again, then two lefts. And then they hit a dead end.

"Great." Dipper complained and turned around.

"Guess we should've gone right."

And so they turned around and walked on. Right, then right again, then left and then… left, correct? But the turn was going right. And where was the white dotted line? It was nowhere to be seen! With no other way to go, they went on. Another left, and then a right. Slight claustrophobia was starting to give into Dipper and he took in deep breaths to calm down. Left, another left, another left, and then right. Now the teenager was starting to panic a little and he breathed heavily to try to steady his heart.

"Dipper?"

He didn't answer and just kept on walking, his pace picking up. There had to be a way out! There had to be! His family needed him! He couldn't risk being stuck here forever!

"Dipper!" Hephzie put her hands on Dipper's shoulders again and turned him around to look at the old woman. "Dipper, it's okay. Breathe. It'll be okay."

"You don't know that!" Dipper accused. "What if we're stuck here forever?! What happens when we need food or water?! What if there IS no way out?!"

"Dipper, getta grip!" Hephzie scolded and held him tightly in a loving embrace.

Dipper was, at first, shocked that she would suddenly grab and pull him into such a tight hold, but then comforted by her touch. He had read once that hugs chemically did help people. Dipper dropped the flashlight and returned the hug. He just needed to cling onto someone right now. Besides, it had been a long time since someone had hugged him like this, almost like a loving mother.

"Better?" Hephzie asked when she noticed his body didn't tremble anymore.

Dipper nodded, but did not let go.

"Keep the faith, Dipper. We'll find your family. I promise." Hephzie finally let go, but she ruffled the hair under his pinetree hat.

Dipper smiled and picked up the flashlight. "Thanks. Sorry for freaking out."

"Don't be. I'm scared, too." Hephzie said as they walked on. "Ya know, this reminds me of the time Ford n' I almost got lost in the mines."

"You did?"

"Oh, yeah. We took a wrong turn after the shock of the dinos, and…"

To help ease their worries and anxieties, Hephzie and Dipper exchanged stories. The old alchemist kind of gave up on trying to leave a trail and pocketed her chalk in case she needed it later, proving that the chalk-trail seemed to disappear, possibly another trick from Bill. After the story of how Hephzie and Ford found the mines the first time, Dipper told about how he found Journal #3 and thought Norman was a zombie, but instead he turned out to be a bunch of gnomes. That made Hephzie laughed and she told about the time she fed a gnome and was almost kidnapped, too, until Ford saved her and they broke all the gnomes hearts by telling them that Hephzie was already taken. Dipper was just telling her about the time he captured a Gremloblin when they heard footsteps from around the next corner.

Hephzie drew out her sword and stepped in front of Dipper, one hand in front of him and the other holding her sword, pointing it ahead. Dipper shone the flashlight at the turn, only to find that it was Wendy to emerged.

"Wendy!" Dipper gasped with relief.

"Guys!" She said and ran up to them while Hephzie lowered her sword and the arm that protected Dipper. "I can't believe I found you! This place is insane!"

"I know." Dipper replied. "I've been keeping track of the turns, but this thing seems to go on forever! But, it has to stop at some point, right? I mean, Bill's castle wasn't that big."

"No, you're right, Dipper." Wendy said. "There has to be a way out of here."

"Don't worry." Hephzie said calmly. "We just have to keep movin' forward."

"Right." Dipper agreed. "Wendy, can you take us back to the center? Maybe if we retrace our steps we can find the others."

"Good thinking, man." Wendy said with a wink and pointed at him, then gestured towards the way she came. "C'mon."

Dipper followed Wendy closely while Hephzie brought up the rear, her sword still in her hand. Maybe her aged bones were just aching from all this walking, but something didn't feel right. She felt like she was being watched. Hephzibah had a mission. Yes, taking down Bill would be nice, but as far as she was concerned, the safety of her friends came first.

The little group turned a corner of two, all while Dipper and Wendy talked pleasantly. Dipper's crush had died down a bit, but it was hard not to be charmed by the coolest redhead on the planet. Wendy would compliment him or shove him playfully, making him blush and rub the back of his neck. Hephzie smiled and noticed that Ford did the exact same thing.

After a few more minutes of walking, they hit another dead end.

"Aw, man!" Wendy complained and kicked up some dust in frustration. "Sorry guys, I think we took a wrong turn or something."

Dipper held his chin and thought out-loud, "You know, I've been keeping track of our turns, and sometimes it feels like we're going in circles. I know it's impossible, but if this was created by Bill, is it possible that… that the maze is changing?"

"What do ya mean?" Hephzie asked.

"Think about it. How easy would it be for Bill to move a wall or two to change turns or create dead-ends, even if he is just a ghost. Trust me, I've met a few ghosts and they can do a lot in the real world."

"C'mon, man." Wendy said and lightly punched his shoulder. "Don't get paranoid. Let's just keep going." She grabbed Dipper's hand and started to walk with him out of the dead end and down a different hallway in the maze.

Dipper blushed furiously. She wasn't pulling on him, but simply holding his hand, like she wanted to touch him. Dipper squeezed her hand back and led on with the flashlight in his other hand. He felt a little more confident and a little less worried as he had his dream-girl by his side. A few more turns and they hit another dead end.

"Right, should we try another tunnel?" Dipper asked.

Wendy turned to look down at him and she gave a cool smile. "Oh, don't worry, man. I've got your back."

Dipper smiled at this and felt his hand grow warm as Wendy's hold tightened. He was lost in her smile, and almost oblivious to the fact that cockroaches were crawling up his arm and surrounding him. But Hephzie noticed, and drew her sword and cut off Wendy's arm, making the figure turn into bugs and scamper away, a few crushed underneath Hephzie's shoe while Dipper screamed in horror.

"What the HECK?!"

"Of course Bill would try to trick us." Hephzie muttered, more to himself than Dipper. "We need to be more careful of other traps."

"Just like Mabel's bubble." Dipper mumbled.

"What?"

"In Mabel's bubble during Weirdmageddon, it trapped people using temptation with their favorite things. Mabel was ruler of her own land, Soos saw his dad, and Wendy got to vandalize the high-school with her friends instead of fighting for her life."

"Yup, that sounds like Bill." Hephzie sighed and shook her head. "Let's keep movin'. Next person we see, we need to make sure they're legitimate."

"Got it." Dipper said, more collected now that the shock had warned off.

Hephzie and Dipper walked side-by-side down the maze. A left, right, right, left, right, left, right, right, left, left. It felt like they had been walking forever, but they quickly learned that it helped to tell stories. After Dipper told about the Gremloblin, Hephzie told about the time she met the Multibear, which led to Dipper telling about his own experience with the Multibear and how he wanted to be a man.

Hephzie laughed at the end of that story and said, "Ya are so much like Ford it's scary!"

"Really?" Dipper asked as he rubbed his arm. As childish as it may seem, the Author of the Journals was still Dipper's idol, and hearing that he was like him helped boost his confidence.

"Yeah. Did he ever tell ya about the time he tried to take down the Multibear?"

"No!" Dipper gasped. "What, was he trying to become a man, too?"

"Not really. I think he was tryin' to prove he was already a man. Ya see, one day, as a date, I took him to my favorite bar n'..." A crumbling sound interrupted Hephzie. She looked up and saw the brick ceiling crack. "RUN!" Hephzie ordered and shoved Dipper to give him a head start back the way they came.

Without looking behind him or paying attention, the teenager ran for his life and leaped just in time to dodge a falling brick. He coughed out some dirt and turned as he lay on the floor to look at the caved in bricks. And he was alone. "HEPHZIE! HEPHZIE!"

"Dipper! Are ya hurt?"

"No, are you?!" Dipper asked as he stood up and tried to see if there was a way to get back to her, but they were separated.

"No, m'fine." Hephzie's muffled voice said. "Go find the others. Keep movin' n' I'll see ya soon, okay?"

"Okay." Dipper said nervously, not really liking the idea of leaving without Hephzie, but he didn't have much of a choice.

Using his flashlight to guide his way, Dipper started on his journey again, hoping he would run into someone, anyone, who was his friend and not trying to destroy him.

* * *

Ford couldn't remember how exactly, but by some act of persuasion Mabel managed to get her great-uncle to carry her on his shoulders. She was thirteen and could walk perfectly fine on her own, but after a few minutes of walking she had coaxed him into letting her climb up his back and sit on his shoulders. Oh, well. It wasn't like she was heavy or anything. And this was a good way to keep her safe.

Ford had a small notepad in one hand and a pen in the other. He had been calculating where he and Mabel have been to try to figure the maze out, but every turn or so they'd hit a dead-end, which Ford could've sworn wasn't there before. Maybe he was just getting confused or made a miscalculation here and there. Or maybe he really was losing his mind.

He had to admit that it was getting harder and harder to keep his cool about the situation. For all he knew, the others could be hurt or tortured by Bill, or worse. Ford had no idea where anyone was, not even himself and Mabel, and Bill was free to do whatever he wanted. Ford's instincts kept him on edge, like he was being watched, and he was ready to drop his journal and grab his gun in an instant. And yet, somehow, having Mabel sitting on his shoulders helped remind the old scientist that he wasn't alone. And that helped him keep his level head and think of a plan.

They turned a corner and saw a long tunnel stretch either way. Ford looked to his left and then his right, but just barely touching the darkness, he thought he saw someone.

"Hello?"

Hephzibah turned around and grinned. "Ford!"

"Hephzibah!" Ford pocketed his journal and pen back in his suit-jacket, put Mabel down, and started to run towards Hephzie, relief overpowering him at seeing that she was okay.

Hephzibah ran towards him, too, surprisingly well for someone in heels, and they met in the middle, holding each other tightly. They were both filthy and their nice clothes were ruined, but at least they were okay.

Ford let go and asked, "What happened? Are you hurt?"

"No, I'm fine." Hephzibah replied. "Are you two okay?"

"We're fine."

Hephzibah looked up at the ceiling and said, "This place seems to go one forever. Stay close to me."

Mabel nodded and walked with her and Ford, staying next to her uncle. After a few steps Ford slowly pulled out his gun, cocked it, and pointed it at the back of Hephzibah's head. Mabel covered her mouth with her hands in utter shock. Why was Grunkle Ford doing this? Did he not trust Hephzie? Was he really going to shoot her?! Hephzibah stopped walking and slowly put her hands up.

"What are you doing, Ford?" She asked quietly. "Are you really going to shoot your date?"

"Who?" Ford chuckled. "When we're alone, Hephzibah only calls me by my full name, Stanford."

Hephzibah whipped around, kicked the gun out of his hands, and pinned Ford to a nearby wall. "Oh, really?" A voice much different than Hephzie's asked, but it came out of her mouth.

"I lied." Ford admitted, seeing the yellow in her eyes, and she punched her in the gut, rolled to his gun, and shot the imposter in the chest. "But it was nice of you to fall for it."

Mabel screamed at seeing Hephzibah being shot, but once the figure was hit it transformed into roaches just like Mabel Land and the bugs scurried away from the light coming from the teenager's phone.

"Of course Bill would use obstacle illusions to try to keep us in the maze." Ford said plainly; he had suspected suck tricks the minute the gang had been separated. "We need to be more alert the next time we run into someone."

Mabel nodded her head, her shock wearing off. She raised her phone and used it's flashlight to look down the tunnel. It seemed to go on for awhile, so she asked, "Should we try going this way?"

Grunkle Ford nodded. "Yes, I think so."

Mabel walked with him, using her cellphone to see ahead. After a minute or two, smaller tunnels could be seen leading out of the bigger tunnel. They paused at seeing so many litter the wall.

"Should we try one of the smaller tunnels?" Mabel asked.

"It's possible that this is the main tunnel, and it leads to Bill." Ford theorized, holding his cleft chin in thought. "Let's keep going. We can always turn around and try a tunnel if we reach a dead-end."

Mabel nodded once more and kept on walking with her great-uncle. While the light from Mabel's phone was white, coming from a far off tunnel was a yellow-ish light. Ford ready his gun just in case. Mabel let him step forward and the two waited for whatever was coming out of the tunnel about twenty feet away.

Looking around wearily and holding a flashlight, Dipper slowly walked out of the tunnel and paused at the mouth when he saw his sister and uncle. He held his heart and sighed in relief, while Mabel gasped happily and yelled her twin's name. The brunette started to run to Dipper, who had his arms open wide, but Ford stepped in front of Mabel and pointed his gun at the boy, just in case. Dipper's eyes were wide with fear. Ford felt a twinge of guilt, but if this was the real Dipper than he would understand why he had to do this. He had to protect Mabel.

"What creature did Dipper Pines release when he fell into my lab just before we started to play Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons together?" Ford growled.

"A Cycloptopus." Dipper stuttered. "Grunkle Ford wrote it in his second journal."

Ford lowered his gun and released a held breath. "I'm sorry, Dipper, but I had to make sure…"

"No, wait," Dipper demanded, his eyes still wide with caution. "How do I know you're the real Ford and Mabel." So that's why he was afraid when they first met.

Mabel rolled his eyes. "Oh, come on, Dipper."

Grunkle Ford put a six-fingered hand on Mable's shoulder. "No, no, he's right, Mabel. Ask us whatever you want." He told the teenager.

"Okay, how old was I when I got my lucky hat?" Dipper asked his supposive sister.

"Oh, that's easy!" Mabel said as she blew some hair out of her face proudly. "You were in the fifth grade! You thought it was lucky, so you never washed it, which was really gross. Mom used to nag you about it but Dad admitted to never washing his lucky socks. Oh! And you lost that hat when we first fought those gnomes that wanted me to be their queen, you even smashed one on the wheel, and…"

"Okay, okay," Dipper said shaking his hands. "I'm sorry I asked."

"So, can I hug you now?" Mabel asked cheekily as she held open her arms.

"Fine, but only an awkward-sibling-hug." Dipper offered, his arms open, too.

"I'll take one any day from you, bro-bro." Mabel said and went to her twin, hugging him tightly until they did the "pat-pat".

"Aren't you going to check me, boy?" Ford asked.

"Please, only the real Grunkle Ford is as paranoid as me." Dipper pointed out, swatting away Ford's question.

"True." Ford admitted and ruffled the teenager's hat and hair. "It's good to see you're safe. Any idea where the others might be?"

Dipper frowned and shook his head. "No. I was trapped with Hephzie, but we were separated by more fallen debri."

Ford sighed and said, "Well, we think we've found the main tunnel, but we were just venturing on to confirm our theory. I don't suppose you've ran into the others, have you?" Ford asked to confirm the fact that no one else has been located or confirmed to be okay.

Dipper shook his head. "No. Me and Hephzie thought we met up with Wendy, but it turned out to be… just some bugs, I guess. Just like Mabel Land."

"Bill must be using manipulation to try to keep us from finding him." Ford thought out-loud. "Follow me, kids. We'll find the others."

* * *

Hephzie heard Dipper walk away slowly, and she turned away from the wall of debri that separated her from the boy. She had no source of light with her, so all she saw was darkness. It was frightening, to see nothing. It was like she was blind. To ease her worries, Hephzie closed her eyes and slowly dragged her feet to a wall. Once she touched it, use kept one hand on the brick wall and slowly walked forward.

She kept on walking, opening her eyes every once in awhile in case she could make out a figure or see some light ahead, but it was no different than when her eyes were closed, which made her heart race. Hephzie breathed in deeply and kept on walking, her nice heels clicking against the brick below her, reminding her that she was still moving, that she was still alive and with the Earth, even if it didn't feel like it here in the eternal darkness.

Hephzie felt a mouth of a tunnel with her fingers and decided to look down the hallway. She saw nothing. She decided to go down the new tunnel in hopes of finding anything. At this point she'd gladly take seeing an illusion or even Bill himself if it reminded her that she was not hopelessly wandering this death trap.

As she walked, Hephzie's mind began to wander, as it often did when one did the same thing continuously with nothing to grab attention. Hephzie began to wonder just how much power Bill had. Here, in his old castle, he seemed to have quite a bit of control, even without a vessel to possess. Was it because he built this pace? Was his powers now limited to this underground pyramid? If so, what could he do? He could create temptations, no doubt trying to kill them. And he could control the Fearamid. Hephzie wondered if he was manipulating the maze, changing the tunnels and hallways, creating walls and moving them, forcing people apart. No, he definitely was.

But why? Why trap them here? A stupidly basic question, but sometimes it was easier to start with those type of questions and work your way to the more complicated ones. Okay, Bill would obviously want revenge on the Pines family, but would he really kill them? It was likely, so the zodiac could never be formed. As much as she hated that possibility, Hephzie had known Bill since she was eight-years-old, and she had a good idea of how his thought, how his mind worked. Hephzie would never admit to being the master of Bill's mind, but she'd like to think she knew him well enough to know his intentions and how he would pursue them.

Bill needed a vessel. He needed a body. And he wanted it to be human, and made by Hephzie. That much was clear. Was this his plan? Trap them all here and leave it up to Hephzie to make a deal with him? After over sixty years, was she finally going to shake his hand? Hephzie had been forced into a corner plenty of times and never made a deal with Bill, but the thought of him hurting anyone made her skin crawl, and she knew that, if it came to it, she would do it.

But it was up to them to make sure it never got to that point. Hephzie had to trust that Ford and the others could get out safely. She had to trust that it would all be okay. That together they could defeat Bill. They had to rally the others and form the zodiac, but first they had to get out of here.

Hephzie opened her eyes to check for any signs of progress, and she could have sworn she saw a tiny glow of golden light come from far into the tunnel. It wasn't much, but it was enough to show that Hephzie had stumbled into a large tunnel that connected to many smaller ones. The light came from the end, and unable to hold her excitement, the old alchemist broke into a run.

As she ran deeper into the dark tunnel, the light got closer and closer. She was soon able to make out a triangle-shaped double door, the handles in the shape of an oval at the center, representing Bill Cipher. Golden light was leaking out of the doorway like water, dimply lighting up the tunnel. Hephzie slowed down to a walk and realized that this must be where Bill was. He was either hiding from his enemies or waiting for Hephzie. Or both. The old woman took in a deep breath. Fine. Hephzie made up her mind and touched the handle of the door. She paused for a moment and prayed that the others were safe and not trapped behind this door. With a strong tug, she opened one of the doors, was swallowed by golden light, and walked in.


	22. efiL a roF geL A

Hephzie was surprised not to find Bill, but instead a large stairwell going down. It too was made of brick, chipped and cracked in various places, like a long-forgotten temple. Hephzie walked in and started her way down the stairs, the golden light coming from the bottom of the stairs, just steep enough to make it hard to see into the room. The stairwell must have had forty stairs or so, being quite long. Hephzie's heels clicked against the stone and the old alchemist steadied herself for whatever was to come.

And there, in the center of the room, was Bill. The room was huge, with tall walls that reached nearly twenty-five feet high. Most of the stairwell was covered by a wall, except for the last ten feet or so. Bill was floating in the center of the room, legs crossed in a lotus meditation position, his hands next to his eye and his finger and thumb touching to make a circle. His one eye was closed, and his whole figure was transparent, as if someone had drawn him into their world with a magic golden marker and failed to color him in. As soon as Hephzie entered the room, his eye opened and squinted cheerfully.

"Well, well, well," Bill said as he floated down to be eye-level with the old woman. "How's it feel to meet face-to-face?"

"Underwhelmin', actually." Hephzie said cooly, showing no fear, nor anger nor glee. She was actually quite motionless and professional about meeting the demon who had been haunting her her entire life.

Bill held the top part of his triangle body with one hand and floated on the side, like he was holding up his "head" as he laid in mid-air. "I think it's high time we had a talk, Sweet-Cheeks."

"I agree." Hephzie said and sat down on the floor, cross-legged, her hands on her knees. "None of us are goin' anywhere, n' I know there's a lot ya n' I both want out in the air."

"Couldn't have said it better myself!" Bill said and floated down so they were eye-level again, about five feet apart. "Why don't we discuss the terms of a special deal I had in mind and then we can get right down to business?"

The old alchemist chuckled, her eyes closed and her head lowered slightly, as if a funny joke had just popped into her head. "Sure, knock yourself out, but I'll never accept your deal, Cipher."

"Well, a lot can change in five minutes." Bill said calmly. "Let's see if I can't change your mind?"

"Go ahead n' try." Hephzie offered kindly, her hand gesturing towards the triangle, and Bill's eyes squinted excitedly.

* * *

Ford continued to lead the kids down the large tunnel. It was up to him to keep these kids safe, to find Stan, Wendy, Soos, and Hephzie, and to get them all out of here and somehow defeat Bill. For good this time.

The old scientist had all of his senses heightened and his gun out in front of him, the kids behind him on either side. Mabel had her grappling hook ready and Dipper lit the tunnel as much as his flashlight could. They would take a little peek into each hallway as they passed by and traveled down the endless tunnel. No one seemed to be following or looking for them, but they couldn't allow themselves to let their guard down. Soon, they could hear voices, and the three were frozen as they saw white light, supposedly from a cellphone, coming from one of the tunnels. They stood still and waited, ready to attack if needed.

"... that's the same brick?"

"They all look the same, Soos!"

"Yeah, but it… feels like the same brick…"

"Oh, for crying out loud, don't tell me we've been going in circles?!"

"Shut up, will ya!"

"Sorry, Mr. Pines, but there's gotta be a way outta here!"

"Don't worry, guys, we'll find the others."

"Shut up!"

"Sorry, Mr. Pines. Too loud?"

"No I want ya to shut up cuz there's light ahead!"

The three voices disappeared, but footsteps appeared in its place and were slow and cautious. Ford decided to be courageous and called ahead, "Stanley? Is that you?"

"Ford?" Stan called and picked up the pace. Soon enough he, Soos and Wendy were at the mouth of one of the smaller tunnels and just as armed as Ford, Dipper and Mabel. "How do we know you're the real deal?"

"How do we know you're the real deal, Stanley?" Ford retaliated, aiming his gun at his twin, just in case.

"Aw, dudes, we're gonna be here all day!" Soos whined.

Wendy took a step forward and said, "Fine. What was the name of the guy who tried to erase our memories last summer?"

"Blind Ivan." Soos, Dipper and Mabel all answered and Wendy nodded in approval.

"Wait," Dipper said. "Wendy, when did I… did I tell you I was in love with you?"

"The day we discovered the bunker." Wendy answered, just as cool and collected about it as Dipper.

"Good." Dipper sighed. "I've already checked Grunkle Ford…"

"And Stan's been with us the whole time." Wendy commented, using a free hand from holding her axe to point a thumb back at her boss. "We're all cool."

"Good." Ford said and took a few steps forward. "Now all we have to do is fine Hephzibah and get out of here!"

"But how do we find her?" Soos asked.

The scientist of the group held his chin as he gave the question some thought. If Hephzie had a say in the matter she would tell them to leave without her. She'd say that she could handle Bill on her own, and even if she couldn't, getting the ten together for the zodiac was their most important mission. Ford hated to have to leave her behind, but if that meant finding a way out and stopping Bill, then he had no choice. He had to trust that Hephzie would be okay and could take care of herself.

Ford sighed and looked down the long tunnel they were travelling down. "We think this is the main tunnel. If we keep going maybe we'll find an exit."

"Or we can make our own." Stan suggested as he rubbed his armed knuckles excitedly.

Ford didn't think they could, seeing how they were underground and that the pyramid seemed to be controlled by Bill, but he bit his tongue and didn't say a word. The gang started down the tunnel once more, thinking it was endless, until a gleamer of a doorknob was caught by Dipper's flashlight.

"A door!" Mabel yelled and ran ahead.

"Mabel!" Dipper called.

"Hambone!" Soos yelled.

"Mabel, wait!" Stan barked, but Mabel kept on running.

The others ran to catch up with Mabel and saw that it was a door, two of them, shaped like triangles with the knobs decorated with an oval at the center, representing the devil that was haunting them. Mabel was just about to touch the doorknob when Ford grabbed her wrist and stopped her.

"Mabel, stop!" He yelled and brought his voice down to a whisper. "We don't know what's behind that door. Bill could be there."

"Or it could be the way out." Soos pointed out.

"Or it could be a trap." Dipper added.

"Or we could stand here all day and never find out." Stan growled, getting impatient with being trapped in this maze.

Ford leaned an ear against the door by the crack and tired to listen. He couldn't make out the words, but he could hear voices. Two, maybe. And they sounded familiar. "I think… I think Hephzibah is in there…" Ford said slowly, trying to hone in on what they were saying. "... with Bill."

"We have to save her!" Mabel whispered.

"Wait a minute, Mabel." Ford hissed and tried to listen into the conversation, but the doors were too thick and the voices were too quiet. "I know Hephzibah, and she probably has a plan. If we barge in there we could not only endanger her life, but our own as well."

"What do we do?" Dipper asked.

"Wendy, Stanley and I will sneak in and see what we can pick up." Ford instructed, getting a wink and thumbs-up in approval from the redhead but scowles from the younger pair of twins. "We'll be back as soon as we can. If we're not back in exactly fifteen minutes, you have my permission to slip in and find us."

Dipper checked his watch to see what time it was and calculate fifteen minutes from now. "Fine." He said in a low and disappointed voice. He was getting tired of taking a back seat when he had proven time and time again that he could be trusted.

"Right, let's move." Stan said and popped his knuckles for whatever was coming.

Ford slowly opened a door and let Stanley and Wendy slip in first before he did and silently closed the door, leaving Soos to guard Mabel and Dipper with his life.

The voices were clearer now in the dark. Wendy and the two old men were still as they listened into the conversation.

"... both know you've had this coming for a long time, Hephzie, so why don't you just shake my hand and get this over with?"

"Cuz I have people worth fightin' for. Tell me, Cipher, is your request really so dumbfoundedly simple that all ya want is a body, or is there more to it?"

"You're gonna have to be more specific, Sweet-Cheeks."

"You're not the spawn of Greed. You're the Master of the Mind. You're the Devil of the Nightmare Realm. Ya have hopes n' dreams n' goals n' fears, just like anybody else. So I'll ask ya one last time: What do ya want?"

Ford looked at his brother and employee and gave a nod with a serious look on his face, his gun at the ready. Stan and Wendy nodded back, fists and axe ready, too, and they slowly crept down the large stairwell they were faced with, which they knew would lead to Hephzie and Bill. They couldn't attack, but they could listen in the shadows.

"I want this dimension." Bill said impatiently. "But first I need a vessel, and I'd like it to be human, and one made specifically for me. That's where you come in, Hephzie."

"Right," She replied with a bored tone in her voice. "But why do ya even want this dimension. Are ya sure there's nothin' else ya want?"

Bill laughed. "You keep dancing around the topic, sweetheart. Why don't ya just ask me?"

"I've tried, but there's so sense in askin' a direct question when you'll dodge it like a bullet." Hephzie said cooly. "Cuz, truth be told, you're afraid."

"Afraid?!" Bill replied with an evil cackle that made the hairs on the back of Ford's neck stand up. "Please! If anyone should be afraid it's you! You think I'm dodging bullets?! You think I'm the one denying what I want?! I've got you and everyone you care about trapped, and you and I both know the only way out is through me! Don't you DARE forget who I am! I'm BILL CIPHER, MASTER OF THE MIND! If anyone should be afraid, it's YOU!"

As Bill's ringing voice shook the walls, the three humans kept creeping down, sliding against the wall to hide in the shadows. They were just a few steps shy of the floor and could see Hephzibah sitting cross-legged on the floor with her back to them. Bill's transparents spirit was the size of Hephie's head and floating so they were eye level. He had his hands on his sides and seemed to be waiting for her response.

Ford wasn't sure what he was expecting from her, but he certainly wasn't expecting her to laugh. It started as a cruel chuckle, then it rose from her chest, up her throat, into a smooth, dark laugh that rang through the room. She calmed her laughter down and said,

"It's sad how long you've studied humans n' still hardly know how they work. I guess ya just don't know me as well as ya think ya do. Ya see, Bill, I love Stanford more than I fear ya."

Ford lowered his gun as Hephzie's words repeated themselves in his mind. His jaw was tight and his eyes were wide. She… loved him? She loved him. Hephzie loved Ford. Hephzibah Cece loved Stanford Pines?! No one had ever… he had never felt… did he love her? Ford's brain seemed to have malfunctioned, because he almost missed Bill's enraged yelling.

"No, YOU hardly know ME! YOU SHOULD FEAR ME MORE!"

To vent out his frustrations, a beam of pure energy erupted from a pointed finger, but Hephzie sprang up from her seat, did a backflip, and landed on her heels calmly. She withdrew her sword and held it out proudly in front of her, the sword Ford had given her all those years ago. Bill's eyes squinted in frustration and he glowed red, but he seemed incapable of growing larger. He shot another beam of heat and another, but Hephzie's deflected both shots with her sword, and then swung her sword, charging after the demon, but her weapon went through the ghostly figure without causing any damage to the enemy.

Bill cackled and held his sides. "How do you expect to fight someone you can't kill?"

"I was gonna ask ya the same thang." Hephzie sneered.

Bill's eye squinted happily and he raised a hand. The stairs that hid Wendy, Stan and Ford shifted into a slide by crawling inward, causing the three to slide out of their shadows and into the main room. "You're right, Hephzibah, I won't kill you, but I have no problem killing them!"

Hephzie turned and saw the three humans on their hands and knees from the hall. They quickly got up and aimed their weapons at the demon who had haunted them. "You…"

"Bill!" Stan growled. "You're outnumbered. Give it up now before I kick you back to the nightmare you came from!"

Bill cackled, squinting his eye and holding his body with laughter. "Oh, that's just adorable! And here I thought your brother was cute!"

"Adorable?!" Stan yelled, turning red with a mixture of humiliation and fury. He ran to the triangle and tried to give him a few punches, but his fist went right through the ghostly figure and made the old conartist shiver, as if he had just been bunked into a bathtub full of ice-water.

Bill calmly watched with his hands behind his back while Stan tried to punch him. When Stan took a break to shiver, Bill snapped his fingers and made the brick around Stan form a cage just big enough for the man to stand in.

"Ah, bring's back memories, huh, Stanley?" Bill sneered while Wendy swung her axe at him, but it had the same results as Stan's left and right hooks. "Shame Rico and Jorge aren't here." The demon said sarcastically. He didn't pay attention to Stan as he tried to punch away the brick and instead turned his attention Wendy. "Now, Red, you of all people know ya can't hit a ghost."

Bill snapped his fingers and Wendy yelled in terror as her axe morphed into a weird snake-like creature, the head coming to life and the wooden handle turning into a slimy brown body. Wendy dropped the snake-axe and it hit the floor, snapping it's razor-sharp mouth at her ankles and hissing. The red-headed teen tried to crush it's head with her foot, but kept missing. It soon begam a game of dodging boot and teeth.

Ford and Hephzie rolled away to a wall while Bill watched and laughed as Wendy struggled with her axe that turned on her. "We have to get out of here!" The old scientist made clear in a low, stressed voice.

"Not so fast, Sixer!" Bill snapped, turning around, and he snapped his fingers again. Hands made of brick slithered out from the wall and entangled around Ford, trapping him.

"Bill!" Hephzie yelled in fury and used her sword to cut Ford free, crumbling the small hands made from stone. "Leave 'em outta this!"

"See, that's the problem with you humans!" Bill yelled as his eye caught Ford rushing to his trapped brother and using his special alien gun to disintegrate the cage. "You let your emotions get in the way of your logic! You allow your feelings to cloud your head and get in the way of what you could have!" Bill snapped his fingers one more time.

More tiny hands from the brick walls slithered out and grabbed the three humans, the axe being sunk into the floor, and Wendy, Stan, and Ford were all pinned to the wall, their arms and legs stretch.

Hephzie growled at Bill and pointed her sword at him. "Let 'em go!"

"Ah, ah!" Bill said in a sing-song voice as he shook a finger at Hephzie like she was a child. "How about we make a deal, Half-Pint? I'll set your friends free if you just perform a small task for me…"

"No deal!"

"Think about it." Bill said as he looked at her with a blank expression on his triangle. "You and I have had the same pitiful argument for… how long, fifty years? Isn't it tiring to fight a battle you know you're only going to lose? Besides, I thought you were all about helping people?"

"N' what good would helpin' ya do?!" Hephzie demanded, lowering her sword and pointing at the demon in front of her. "What can I possibly gain by helpin' ya?!"

"Lot of things, Hephzibah." Bill said. "For starts, how about Lover-Boy's life?"

More rock peeled away from the brick-wall and formed a sharp edge, like a blade of an ancient spear. It pointed itself directly at Ford's neck, and more little stone hands held his head up by pulling on his fluffy charcoal hair. The old scientist growled through gritted teeth and glared at the weapon inches from his neck.

Bill turned back to talk properly to his old friend. "Honestly, Fordsie, I've been waiting to kill you for a long time, and I don't really feel like waiting anymore."

Ford stared daggers at Bill, not really caring that a blade was at his throat, threatening to take his life. He had been far closer to death than this, and after fighting for so long, Ford found it hard to believe that this was it. He braced himself for whatever was coming, scowling and stone-faced, Stan and Wendy struggling to break free, and Bill rose a hand, ready to snap his fingers.

"Silicon."

Bill's eye widened excitedly. Ford stared through the ghost of his enemy and at Hephzie, who pocketed her sword into her scabbard and crossed her arms, looking at Bill calmly with a small frown over her face.

"What?" Bill asked when he turned to face her.

"Silicon. Ya need three grams of it." Hephzie said in a monotone voice. Of course she wouldn't fall on her knees and beg for Ford's life. Of course she wouldn't cry and demand that Bill take her life instead. Of course she would act accordingly, calm and emotionless to hide her true fears.

"Done!" Bill said, snapped his fingers, and in the center of the room, bricks formed a small circular wall into the floor, resembling a bucket. Another snap of his fingers and said ingredient appeared in the new bowl, having it come from the wall in a powdered form.

"NO!" Ford yelled. "Don't do it!" But the short spear touched his throat, silencing him.

"What else?" Bill asked the old alchemist, hurrying the process along.

"Five grams of iron. Seven-and-a-half grams of fluorine."

"Hephzie, what are you doing?!" Stan yelled.

But she ignored him. Bill floated towards the pile of chemicals and she turned to watch, her back to her loved ones. "Eighty grams of sulfur. A hundred grams of saltpeter. Two-hundred-and-fifty grams of salt."

"What is she doing?!" Wendy asked, panicking as Bill provided each tool Hephzie required.

"She's going to do it." Ford muttered.

"Eight-hundred grams of phosphorus. One-and-a-half kilograms of lime."

"She's going to make Bill a human body..."

"Four liters of ammonia. Twenty kilograms of carbon."

"...using alchemy."

"N' ya also need thirty-five liters of water." Hephzie concluded. Out of thin air, water splashed into the mixture. Hephzie walked up to it, ignoring the yells, cries, and demands from the three humans trapped on the wall like dead butterflies in cases. She peered down at the chemicals and water and gave a nod of her head.

"What next?!" Bill asked excitedly, like a child happy to be cooking with a parent.

"Now I draw the correct transmutation-circle." Hephzie stated plainly as she pulled out a chunk of chalk from the scabbard that hung from her shoulder, down by her dress.

She bent down, ignoring the agony coming from her back, and slowly drew a circle on the floor with the chalk. Once a giant circle around the chemicals was finished, the stone bowl of ingredients at the very center, Hephzie started to draw lines and symbols needed to orchestrate the circle and its task. Just like the transmutation-circles tattooed on the back of her hands, alchemy symbols, horoscope signs, ancient letterings and pictures made the drawing on the floor the most complex circle she had ever drawn.

"Hephzibah, please don't do this." Ford begged, and for a moment Hephzie paused her work, but she resumed what she had been training for her whole life.

Hephzie stood up straight and Bill was practically shaking with excitement to finally be free.

"Well, is that it?! Are we ready?!" Bill asked as he rubbed his hands together hungrily.

"No." Hephzie said and drew her sword once more. "The chemicals need a blueprint to follow, to make sure that what it forms truly is human. It also requires payment."

Hephzie held the blade of the sword with her left hand, closed her eyes, and quickly ran her hand down the blade, slicing open her skin. She held her cut hand over the chemicals as it dripped blood. Only a few drops was all they needed. She didn't even groan or whimper in pain, but that didn't stop Stan, Ford, and Wendy from wincing sympathetically.

Hephzie walked to the edge of the circle as she pocketed her sword one last time, now to the right of the humans on the wall, right in front of the hallway leading to the only exit. With the same blank expression she had on her face, she calmly said to Bill, "Ya need to be at the center."

Bill floated so he was right above the chemicals, just barely touching the pile of ingredients that would give him what he needed to enter the world with a physical form.

"Hephzibah, please." Ford tried one last time, his voice low and disbelieving that after all of those years of fighting, of resisting, of pushing and shoving, it was all going to end here. After a lifetime of saying no, she was saying yes.

Hephzie clapped her hands together, as if in prayer, got on her knees, and bent over and placed her hands on the edge of the transmutation-circle.

It happened slowly. The white chalk started to glow, white light leaking from the circle and images. Bill laughed evilly and held his arms up in anticipation. Ford, Stan, and Wendy stared as the white light got brighter and brighter, until it flashed quickly like a camera, so brightly the three had to close their eyes. They heard a blood-curdling scream and opened their eyes when the light dimmed. Hephzie laid on her front, no longer on her hands and knees, but before they could get a good look at her, another flash of light appeared, brighter and lasting a full minute, all while screams and laughter rang in their ears. Ford tried to fight and earn his freedom through strength, Hephzie's screams almost too much to bear, but it was no use.

The light slowly started to fade, his eyes scanning for Hephzie. She was right where she was before the burst of light, but she was now screaming in agony, holding her right leg, which was bleeding profoundly.

Ford's eyes widened at seeing that the bottom half of her right leg was missing. And Bill?

Bill was standing right in front of her, right where his soul had been. He was standing in a human body.

Bill was back.


	23. Untitled

Deaf to Hephzie's screams of overwhelming pain, a new human body took in deep breaths to test out his new lungs. Ford studied the human body in front of him, flabbergasted beyond belief.

The human was a disgusting mixture of a newborn child and a grown man. An old baby? No, he wasn't a baby that looked old, but… a grown man who looked… who looked new. He was fully grown, but malnourished, having not yet received any nuteriance. His hair was very short and jet-black and his skin was dark, like Hephzie's. His nose was small and pointed. His chin was also pointed. His eyes were closed. His mouth in a flat, emotionless, line. He was only dressed by a black robe that had appeared out of nowhere, thank Moses for that.

When he opened his eyes, it was clear that it was Bill. His eyes were yellow and slit, like a cat. He smiled menacingly, revealing perfect teeth. In fact, most of him, genetically, was perfect. He wasn't a runway model, but there was nothing about him that seemed abnormal, apart from his eyes. His smile sent shivers down Ford's spine, but he was too full of fury to show it, only growling under his breath at seeing the demon as a human.

"Well?" Bill asked, his voice still the same. "Do you like it? Be honest, how do I look?"

Ford had no words. He was too pained by the screams of agony erupting from Hephzie's mouth as she held her new life-threatening wound. She lay on her left side, facing Ford, Stan and Wendy as they were suddenly released from the wall and fell to their hands and knees. They stayed there, staring and in complete shock of what they had just seen and heard. Wendy's covered her mouth with one of her hands and tried not to throw up as the smell of raw flesh reached her nose. Stan growled like an angry bulldog. Ford was pale and shaking, his hands tightening on the floor. Hephzie opened her eyes and first saw her friends, gritting her teeth to try to stop yelling, as she tried to close the open wound with her hands. Just barely seen by her dress, her right leg had been cut off.

Bill turned to face Hephzie and smiled at her. "Ah, the woman of the hour. See, that wasn't so hard, was it?"

"WHAT DID YOU MAKE HER DO?!" Stan roared.

"Oh, I didn't _make_ her do anything." Bill said, not even bothering to look at the angry old man. "She _chose_ to do this. She simply used alchemy to make me a physical form here in your world. But alchemy is all about equivalent exchange, right, Sweet-Cheeks?"

Hephzie looked up at him with eyes that were crackling like fire.

Bill bent his knees that seemed to be nothing but bone and skin, and sneered, "Such a pity that someone so strong and smart has to die. I could've used you, but you've served your purpose. I don't need you anymore, so feel free to bleed to death if you want. I really don't care."

POW!

Unable to see everything at once anymore, Bill had been oblivious to Stan getting up and punching the new human in the back of the head. Bill spun around and received another one to the face. He stumbled and the two had a fist fight while Ford snuck over to Hephzie, still holding her leg in overwhelming pain.

"Hephzibah," He breathed and carefully started to pick her up. "We have to get you out of here."

"No… we have to kill him..." Hephzie whispered.

"Not until we get you out of here!" Ford said firmly and got up to his feet, holding Hephzie bridal-style.

"No, ya don't… Ford, listen," Hephzie groaned as the movement made what was left of her leg burn with unbearable pain. "I put him in a human body for a reason. He thinks he's free, but he's still trapped. Look."

One would think that Stan could defeat Bill with a few heavy punches to the gut, and it looked like he could, but Bill proved to be above-average when it came to skills and with a flick of his wrist, his human hand was engulfed in blue flames and he threw it at the conartist, who rolled out of the way just before he could be burned by flame that turned orange once it left Bill.

"Y'all better be kiddin' me…" Hephzie sneered as she held her pounding head.

Ford didn't wait another second. He sprinted to the beginning of the slide Bill had made earlier and used a magnet gun from inside his suit to pull himself and Hephzie to the metal door handle. Hephzie held him tightly as they flew upward and bit her lip to keep from yelling out in pain. The old scientist threw the door open and slammed it closed, trusting that Stan and Wendy could hold their own long enough for Ford to get Hephzie somewhere safe.

"Grunkle Ford!" Mabel gasped and she, Dipper and Soos, ran up to the old couple. "Wh… Hephzie! What happened?!"

"Bill's back." Ford stated gravely. "We have to get out of here. We can figure out how to defeat him later."

"What about Wendy and Stan?!" Dipper asked.

"They're fighting Bill right now." Ford said as he walked into a tunnel and laid Hephzie down gently on her back. "We'll go help them in a minute but right now I have to stop the bleeding."

"We can handle this." Hephzie groaned as she tried to sit up, but Ford forced her back down. "I can still fight."

"Not a chance." Ford growled.

"Ford, listen, ya know Bill better than anyone." Hephzie said seriously. "If he can hurt y'all, he will. We have to kill him now. We have to save your family."

"You're my family, too, Hephzibah." Ford said firmly as he slipped off his suit jacket and bundled it up to give Hephzie a pillow to help keep her head levitated comfortably. "I've spent too long having defeating Bill my number one priority, and look where that's got me!"

A loud bang made all the heads turn towards the room in which Bill was fighting Stan and Wendy. Yells of pain followed. There was no time to argue. They needed all the extra pairs of hands they could get.

Ford looked back down at the woman who had saved his life and said in a stern tone, "Stay put. We'll free the others and be back soon. Stay with us."

Hephzie managed to ink out a small smile. "I'm not goin' anywhere." She had known what Ford had meant when he requested that she stay with them.

Ford paused for a moment, debating on what to say or what to do, and then he took the time to kiss her forehead before turning to face Dipper, Mabel, and Soos. "Let's go help Stan and Wendy."

The men ran off, but Mabel stalled. She looked down at the woman who had trained her and took her under her wing. Ever since Hephzie moved into the Mystery Shack, she had been nothing but supportive of Mabel, and it was nice for the brunette to have an older woman to look up to as a role model, like Wendy but wiser and more like a mother than a sister. Hephzie managed to sit up a little and she started to work to use her long navy-blue dress to cover her wound, biting her lip in pain, but she took the time to smile and wink at Mabel. "I"ve got this. Go."

Mabel quickly hugged the old woman and then ran off to join her family in the fight. Once the teenager was gone, Hephzie let out a sigh of relief knowing she didn't have to hide or lie anymore. Mabel's hug had warmed her from the inside out. That girl was going to do incredible things one day.

Hephzie tried to tie her dress tightly around the end of her right leg, where blood was oozing out quickly, but she felt dizzy and laid back down to take in deep breaths and try to focus. The dress alone wasn't enough. The blood did not cease. Hephzie knew she should hold down on the wound to try to slow down the blood loss, but the pain was overwhelming and the feeling of her flesh between her fingers made her sick to her stomach. It was a miracle she hadn't thrown up yet.

Hephzie forced herself to look down at the injury. It was like someone had chopped off her leg, leaving only half of her femur. This wasn't just a huge cut that threatened her life; this was unbearable pain and loss. Her bone was broken beyond repair, her flesh was exposed, her nerves cried out in misery. Her whole body reacted to the traumatic experience by shivering and sweating. Hephzie looked away from the pool of blood that weighed down her navy-blue gown, dizzying at the sight. Or was she finally starting to lose consciousness from the blood loss. No, no, no! If she fell asleep there was a good chance she'd never wake up. Hephzie wanted to move, to find help, to not be alone, but her body was too weak to move, plus Ford had told her to stay put.

Hephzie felt the soaked dressed that tried to bandage her stump, tied up in a knot by the injury. It was ruined beyond repair, just like her. Her head pounded again and she laid her head down to try to save her strength, resting on the suit-jacket that Ford had given her to keep her head elevated. Hephzie turned on her side, her right side so the floor helped hold the dress to her injury, and pressed the fabric over the wound. She cried out in pain, but still kept on trying to stop the blood flow. The pool was getting bigger and bigger. Her hands were slippery from the thick liquid. Her head pounded like a drum, just another pain to add to the list.

She felt cold. Hephzie desperately wanted to wrap herself in the bundled-up jacket by her head and go to sleep, to take a break from this overwhelming pain, but she tried to remain strong and so she could only lay there and listen. She heard yells and bangs from far away, indicating a battle taking place. Hephzie wanted to be there, to fight, but she was useless now. She was a liability to her friends.

Her vision began to blur and her head felt heavy. Hephzie tried with all her might to keep her eyes open. Don't you dare close your eyes, don't you dare! But the pain was stronger than her. If she could just rest, maybe she would wake up feeling better enough to at least… do something! But what if she never woke up again? No! No, that wouldn't happen! She wouldn't let it! As useless as she was right now, she wasn't ready to die. True that she was an old woman and probably could, but there would be no peace in her death. There were too many people that counted on Hephzie for her to call it quits.

She squeezed her eyes tight as another wave of pain overcame her. She needed to distract herself. She averted her thoughts to her loved ones. She thought of Dipper, who was so intelligent and caring, who always thought of his family, especially his sister, first. The conversations they had and how open the boy was to her, she would always treasure that. Mabel, so strong-minded and free-spirited. She had welcomed Hephzie with open arms and blessed the old woman so much. She loved the girl like she was her own. Stan, whom she was, at first, determined to hate, had become such a great friend to her. She smiled at thinking of their poker games or their TV nights or their teasing of Ford. Stanford Pines… even after over thirty years, she still loved him. Oh, no. She never told him that! Hephzie never told Ford that she loved him! There was no way she could die before she did that! Why hadn't she said it before?!

Hephzie opened her eyes and tried to lift her head to look around, but her body would not obey her brain's command. She remained still, apart from her shivering. She was ashamed to admit it to herself, but she desperately didn't want to be alone. She wanted somebody, anybody, with her. She wanted someone to hold her wound so she could rest, to comfort her, to warm her cold body. Where were the kids? Where was Stan and Ford? Out fighting Bill…

Bill. It was all her fault he was back. SHephziehe had no choice but to trap him in a human body, but she was afraid she had granted the devil too much power. Everyone could die and it was all her fault. Another wave of pain swept over her and Hephzie squeezed her eyes shut again, tears threatening to escape. No! She wouldn't cry! She never cried!

Her vision was failing her. It was blackening. It hardly mattered now if her eyes were open or not. Her head did not stop spinning. No, no, no! Not now! Think of your loved ones! Think of the Pines! Think of the McGuckets! Think of Everest! Think of Grandpa and Grandma! They've been gone for thirty years, but they never really left! See them all clearly in front of you!

Her grandparents were smiling. Hephzie barely had time to ask herself if she really wanted to see them at all, before her eyes rolled into the back of her head and she moved no more.

~~~~~~~~~~

Meanwhile, Stan had sustained a small burn on the side of his face when he had pulled Wendy out of a shot. The ball of fire had grazed his cheek, and Bill was laughing maliciously.

"Well, what do you know?! This lack of flesh really IS useful!" Bill clenched a fist and examined it.

Without warning, Soos gave a good strong punch in the gut. Bill doubled-over and glared up at the young man who had used the boxing skills his boss had taught him years ago. Behind the handyman, Ford stood protectively in front of the twins, a bit of Hephzie's blood on his hands as he held a ray gun. Mabel had a grappling hook, and Dipper also had his little fists curled and ready to give left and right hooks.

"So, the mortals are trying to fight me, huh?"

"You're a mortal, too, Cipher." Ford said darkly. "Surrender now and maybe I'll let you keep your new body a little longer."

"Fat chance, Six-Fingers." Bill laughed and was suddenly attacked far too much for the new mortal to handle.

Even with his blue fire for aid, Bill couldn't protect himself from Dipper, Soos and Stan's punches, from Wendy's axe, from Ford's gun, and from Mabel's grappling hook. In that order, they had attacked, and when Ford shot Bill and barely missed his shoulder, Mabel shot her grappling hook at Bill and hit him right in his right eye. He cupped his eye and a few drops of blood fell.

"Nice shot, pumpkin!" Stan shouted proudly.

"All thanks to you, Grunkle Stan!" Mabel yelled back.

Bill stumbled and gritted his teeth as he growled. "How is six against one fair?!" He complained. "You mortals fight dirty!"

"We learned it from you." Ford sneered with rage and pointed his gun at Bill's head.

Bill curled up a smile. "What, gonna destroy the body Hephzie worked so hard to create? Shame, it cost her an arm and a leg… well, maybe just a leg."

Ford snapped and shot at Bill, but he removed his hand from his eye and used both hands to encase himself in a ball of blue fire. The humans ducked as the heat hit them and when they stood up straight and the fire cleared away, Bill was gone.

"NO!" Stan screamed and punched the brick wall with a sickening crunch.

"Mr. Pines," Soos gasped. "Careful, dude, or you'll break your hand."

"We have to find Bill!" Dipper yelled and started for the stairs.

"But what about Hephzie?" Mabel asked as hse pocketed her grappling hook.

Ford had been so furious about Bill getting away that he had been deaf to the conversation until Hephzie's name had been brought up. "Hephzibah…" He dropped his gun and ran up the stairs. The others ran after him and followed; Stan had enough sense to pick up Ford's gun and pocket it into his brown jacket.

Ford bolted through the maze of halls and tunnels with his family behind him. His heart pounded against his chest and he didn't have any feeling below his waist, his stomach heavy and sensitive. Please, God, no! Not her! Why her?! After everything they've been through together, this couldn't be it! She was too strong to die by her own hand!

Ford entered the area he could have sworn he left her and looked around wildly until he saw her back to the entrance of the hallway she laid in. He ran to her and gently turned her so she laid over his bent legs and knees and was on her back. She was unconscious, which did not ease Ford's worries. Stan put his arms out to stop the kids from coming any closer. Soos took off his hat and held it with trembling hands. Wendy's jaw hung loosely.

"Hephzie? Hephzibah, can you hear me?" Ford asked in a clear, calm voice.

He received no answer. Her hands were loosely by her injury, like she had fallen asleep while holding her dress to where her right leg was now missing. So much blood had been loss… no, she was fine! She was just asleep! Ford let her rest over his lap so he could hold her wrist and check her pulse. He pressed gently on her dark skin, but felt no movement beneath his fingertips.

His heart threatened to stop, too. Ford began to panic as tears welled up in his eyes and he held Hephzibah's limp body. He pressed an ear against her chest to listen for a heartbeat, any signs of life in her at all. He was still for a few moments, listening carefully, but as each second ticked by Hephzie's chances of being alive grew less and less.

Ford refused to believe it. He blinked hard to try to stop his eyes from building more tears and he laid Hephzibah on her back on the cold floor. Ford put his hand over her heart and started to perform CPR. He needed to get her heart pumping again. It was probably from the blood loss that did it, but maybe with a firm push her heart would beat once more. Ford did thirty chest compressions and then gave two rescue breaths and then another thirty chest compressions. Ford then checked Hephzie's pulse again, but found nothing.

Growing up, he had always been taught to never cry. A real man never cries! The only time he had ever cried was over the loss of his brother's mind. Even so, Ford had cut himself off as quickly as possible and regained his composure maturely. He was tired of being strong, but he had to be or risk losing Hephzibah, but it was becoming too difficult. Ford bit his bottom lip to try to silence a sob as tears filled his eyes. He desperately repeated the steps to perform CPR.

Mabel fell to her knees and hid her face in her hands. Dipper was at her aid and held her close, trying not to cry. Wendy looked away and Soos cried silently over the scene before him. Ford could feel her blood on his dress shirt and new pants, but he didn't care. He did the chest compressions and rescue breaths one more time, praying to whoever was listening that it would work. He then checked her pulse one last time, one hand holding her wrist and the other hand feeling her artery.

And then, Ford felt somethig too small to notice if he wasn't looking for it. He gasped and held her again, her body on his knees and his arms wrapped around her. This startled everyone else and they watched carefully for what Ford was doing or what was happening to Hephzie. He pressed an ear against her heart one more time. Quietly, barely audible over the cries of her friends, Hephzie's heart was beating slowly. It was weak and sounded like it could stop at any moment, but there it was!

"She's alive!" Ford cried out and held her limp body close. He could feel her breathe unevenly, but her body was still operating nonetheless. For a moment, he allowed a few tears to escape his eyes.

Mabel wailed in relief and Dipper hugged her sister as a tear escaped his eye. Wendy sighed like she had been holding her breath and Soos wiped his tears away. Stan clapped his brother on the shoulder and smiled down at Hephzie proudly. This was no time to celebrate. Bill was still out there and Hephzie's life was still in danger.

"We have to get her back to the Shack." Ford said as he wiped away his tears, adjusted his hold on Hephzie's body, and started to stand.

"Shouldn't we take her to a hospital, Dr. Pines?" Soos asked as he put his hat back on.

"Not unless you want to explain to the authorities how she lost her leg." Ford said as he started to carry Hephzie bridal-style. He broke into a run and tried not to bounce Hephzie too much as he led the way out of the trap. The little crowd of allies followed him faithfully. Ford risked looking down at Hephzie to make sure she was alright. He could feel her hot breath against his chest as her head was turned so it leaned on his chest. He held her close and muttered, "Don't worry. I won't let you go."


	24. Sdlqixo Khdolqj

The next few days were miserable.

Once they all arrived at the Mystery Shack, Ford carried Hephzie into the house and laid her on the couch in his room. She was in critical condition, so he had to act fast, leaving Stan to take care of everyone else.

Wendy and Soos tried to stay behind to help in some shape or form, but Stan put his foot down and drove them home. They might not have lost a limb, but they still needed rest. This gave time for the old man to think about everything that had happened. When he was alone in the car and had stopped at a red light, he slammed his head on the steering wheel and let his horn honk, not giving a flying fish who it pissed off. Stan lifted his eyes and waited for the light while his mind was elsewhere. It was like his brain was slow to process what had happened, but now it was finally sinking in.

Bill was back. Bill wasn't just back, but he was a human now. And Hephzie could be dying.

Stan drove back to the Shack and took in a deep breath, bracing himself for whatever lied ahead.

Meanwhile, Ford was working as fast as he could to stabilize Hephzie. Once he laid her down his first priority was to close the wound, which was slowly ceasing it's bleeding. That was not a good sign. Ford took a white sheet and used it to seperate the couch from Hephzie's leg… or what was left of it. She had given up a lot today.

Ford cleaned the wound as best to his ability with his advanced first aid kit and what else he had at his disposal. Dipper and Mabel had tried to help, but Ford had closed the door on them and told them not to disturb him while he worked. He needed total focus right now and two distressed teenagers would get him nowhere. Once the wound was clean and the fear of an infection was out of the way, Ford wrapped the stump up as best as he could until it was like a little pillow.

The entire time he worked, he paid attention to Hephzie's facial expression. Though she remained unresponsive, her face was hard, and often times she would moan or sigh deeply in her sleep from the pain she was experiencing. No doubt she was in a lot of pain, but with no IV tubes, there was nothing Ford could do about it.

After her life-threatening wound was taken care of, Ford focused on the rest of her body. She was filthy with her own blood and dirt. Well, Ford was a doctor. Maybe not in the sense that Hephzie was trained to be, but still. As professionally as he could, he washed her arms, leg, torso, back and neck clean with a washcloth, and slipped Hephzie out of her dress and into a black tank-top and gray leggings. He managed to give her a decent amount of privacy and ignore the heat that came up on his face. He also wrapped a bandage around Hephzie's left hand, seeing how she had a cut from her sword when she had to give some of her blood to perform the alchemy. The cut was covered in dry blood, so Ford cleaned her palm and bandaged her hand properly. Ford left her sword and scabbard hanging from a hook in the bathroom, next to his robe.

All there was left to do now was wait. Ford knew it was unlikely for her to wake up anytime soon, but he hoped she would sooner rather than later. He laid Hephzie under a clean, soft blanket and made sure her neck and head was cushioned comfortable so she wouldn't have to add a sore neck to her list of problems. Ford tidied his mess, putting blood-soaked sheets and bandages in the trash and packing up the first-aid kit. He paused when he held her beautiful new dress, but ended up throwing it away, too. It was beyond repair.

This thought made Ford turn back to look at Hephzie, who slept like a corpse on the couch. He had to place a hand over her heart and feel it beat to be sure she was still alive. After a calming breath, Ford pulled the desk chair by the couch and sat to watch her for a bit. He knew he should probably go change out of his ruined suit and take a shower, but he didn't care. He could see where the blanket laid flat below the middle of Hephzibah's right thigh, where her leg had been separated from the rest of her body. That sickening feeling of when he saw it happen returned and Ford felt nauseous. This wasn't a broken bone or an injury that could be healed with time and patience. Hephzie had a lost a leg. She would forever be handicapped now.

Ford took her right hand and held it gently. Her skin felt cold. Ford held Hephzie's hand in both of his polydactyl hands and brought their hold up to his lips. His vast, cursed mind made him try to think of what would happen to her. Bill aside, there was a whole world of problems to face now. Would she be wheelchair-bonded for the rest of her life? Would she be okay mentally? What kind of life did Hephzie's sacrifice leave her?

Ford laid her hand by her side and stood up. There was still much to do, and as much as he hated to leave Hephzie's side, he had to attend to his family. He had made a vow to himself to always put his family first, no matter what. He left his bedroom slowly and went into the kitchen to find Stan had made coffee and the teenagers were seating cereal at the table, despite it being in the wee hours of the morning. Honestly, Dipper was merely playing with his food while Mabel munched slowly, her throat tight.

Waddles and Everest laid on their stomachs under the table, sensing that something was very Wrong and Bad, but had no clue what to do about it. Everest had smelled Momma the minute she was carried into the house, but the Man had closed the door and wouldn't open it, no matter how many times Everest whined and begged to see Momma. Everest didn't leave the door until the Little Girl seemed Sad and gently pulled him away from the door. Everest was Smart (Momma said so) and knew that the Little Girl was Sad, so he sat with her and let her pet him while he licked her hand to make her feel better. When Waddles went to her Momma (the Little Girl was Waddles' Momma), Everest then went to the Little Boy, who sat on the bed and was also Sad. Everest laid his head on his lap and licked his fingers. Now the Little Boy and the Little Girl sat at the table and neither Everest or Waddles knew what to do.

The Pines had all changed into clean clothes and looked up at Ford as he entered the room.

"Is Hephzie okay?" Mabel asked.

Ford sat down and held his head one-handed, his six fingers combing his unruly gray hair. "She will be. I've done all I can. We just have to be patient and wait for her to wake up."

"Can we see her?" Mabel requested, her bottom lip trembling and her eyes shining without a spark.

Grunkle Ford looked at her and gave a small smile; clearly she had been waiting to see Hephzie ever since he had to kick the kids out of his bedroom. "Yes, of course."

Dipper and Mabel wasted no time to go to Ford's room, the two old men, the pig and the Saint Bernard following them. When they entered the room, they found Hephzie the way Ford had left her. She still laid deadly still and cold, she still didn't respond to their footsteps, and she still didn't have both of her legs. Everest walked up to the bed slowly and laid his head by her hand. He nudged it, hoping Hephzie would pet him, but she remained still. Everest let out a short whine and sat still as he watched Hephzie. Mabel covered Hephzie's right hand with her own and used her free hand to pet the sad dog.

"I can't believe it really happened." Dipper mumbled. "What's going to happen to her?"

Ford resumed his seat next to the couch. "I've been thinking about that. If I thought Hephzibah would remain seated, I'd build her a wheelchair, but I've never known her to sit still. She'll probably try to walk with a crutch from now on."

"I can help you make one." Mabel volunteered quietly.

"That would be helpful, thank you." Grunkle Ford said quietly and ruffled his niece's hair gently. "It won't be easy. She has a lot of important decisions to make in the near future."

"I still can't believe she did it." Dipper admitted, his mind seeming unable to get past the shock and process what happened, and rubbed his arm uncomfortably, his head low. "I mean… she gave up her leg… just to give Bill a… a…"

"I know, Dipper." Ford said in a low voice. "I know."

"Did you know about this, Sixer?" Stan asked. "That it could happen?"

Ford took in a deep breath and held his hands as he rested his elbows on his knees. "She told me what Bill wanted and her determination not to grant his wishes. That's all I knew. You see, I knew that human-transmutation is taboo among alchemist, but I thought it was because of beliefs or a willpower to not play God, muchlike how scientists can clone, but won't. She explained to me that everything in alchemy has to do with equivalent exchange, and that the only thing equal to a human's soul is another soul, but…" Ford ran a hand through his charcoal-gray hair. "I think, because Bill was the soul, all she needed to do was provide the right ingredients and add a part of herself to make the exchange equal."

"A part of herself?" Stan repeated. "Are you seriously telling me that Hephzie lost her leg cuz she gave it up so Bill could be human?"

Ford looked up at his family and nodded gravely. "Unless she corrects me, I believe that's our answer."

Mabel gave Hephzie's hand a soft squeeze. "Poor Hephzie… it must've been awful…"

Ford closed his eyes and gave into the sound of Hephzibah's screams of pain as the light had engulfed the room. He opened his eyes to speak to his family, but a brief echo of Hephzie's yells still plagued the back of his mind.

"Let's let her rest. In fact, we can all use rest." Ford stood up and walked his brother, niece, and nephew out of the room.

Waddles followed Mabel out of the room, but Everest was harder to make leave Hephzie alone. Ford sighed when he saw that the dog refused to move, and he didn't blame him. He didn't want to leave, either. Maybe it would be okay to have such a well behaved dog watch over Hephzie.

Ford scratched Everest behind the ear. "Good boy, Everest. Good boy."

Everest only whimpered and kept his small eyes on his adoptive mother. Ford walked out of the room and left the door cracked as the morning sun crinkled light into the quiet bedroom.

* * *

Hephzie wasn't dead, but there was still a sense of grief in the Shack. The Pines didn't mourn over Hephzie's life, but they did mourn over her leg, and they were shaken pretty bad by the experience they had. Last time they barely survived Bill's attack, at least they could rest at east believing that Bill was gone, but not this time. This created a tense feeling in everyone's spine and made the air as thick as frozen custard. (Not that last time had been any easier; they had spent a week helping Stan recover his lost memories.)

Dipper was numb, like someone had soaked him in ice water for hours and now he couldn't feel heat. He tried to give his nonfunctioning mind something to do, like read a book or do a puzzle or write in his journal, but he was in a weird state where his mind seem incapable of thinking, leaving him to lay down, stare at the ceiling, and try to think.

Mabel took Ford's permission to build Hephzie a crutch to heart. The arts-n'-crafts master found a big piece of wood in the forest and busied herself by carving it into a crutch with a curved top and a handle halfway down the stick to help Hephzie walk. After the body was done, Mabel carved in little pictures into the wood to decorate it. Birds and trees and mountains littered the bottom half, but the top half Mabel had filled with names people had carved into it, like signing the cast of a broken limb. After the wooden body was done, Mabel knitted a patch to attach around the curved top so it wouldn't hurt Hephzie's underarm. The project took her all week and made her feel like, someway, somehow, she was giving a little bit back to Hephzie for all she had done for Mabel.

Ford was working much harder than Mabel, but didn't feel any better about the situation. He watched over Hephzie and took care of her in any way shape or form. He wasn't the only one watching over her; Everest never left her side. He sat next to the couch, his head by Hephzie's hand, and he only left to go outside or to eat whenever Stan fed him. Everest would also sometimes rest his head on Ford's lap and get his ears scratched. Ford might have enjoyed the dog's company more if not for the dire circumstances. When Ford wasn't watching over Hephzie with Everest, waiting for her to wake up, he was down in the basement, working on something he wouldn't even let Dipper see, or he was taking a nap in the living room or on the porch or down in the basement. Ford was like a cat, taking short naps wherever so that he could continue to work. His mind was too filled with Hephzie's screams, her blood, her family's cries for help, and Bill's laugh to sleep soundly for too long, but Ford had bigger fish to fry than his sleep apnea.

Stan temporarily closed the Mystery Shack and gruffly apologized to his employees for no work, but Soos and Wendy agreed that it was necessary to have a vacation and soon Wendy was pulling pranks with Nate and Lee and Soos spent most of his free time at the arcade, both of them trying to get their minds off of thing. Stan was the most "normal" of the Pines family at the moment, but that didn't mean he wasn't hurting, too. Stan was the one that held his family together; he was the one who made sure Ford slept, he was the one that made sure Dipper ate, and he was the one who made sure Mabel relaxed and felt secure. Stan was used to putting other people's needs before his own.

The whole seven days were Hell in the Shack, and when the eighth day came, things didn't improve much. It was almost like the Pines were used to this new "normal". Stan eventually did reopen the Mystery Shack, but he left the job to Soos; the guy still needed a job. Wendy ran the register and Soos made a great Mr. Mystery, as always. Stan was free to relax and tend to his family, leaving Ford to tend to Hephzie without the bubbling guilt.

Ford sat in his chair, next to Hephzie's sleeping form once more. She was starting to lose weight, and if she didn't wake up soon, she may not wake up at all. The polydactyl scientist held his head with both hands, his twelve fingers entangled in his hair, making it even more unruly than ever.

Ford knew this was a possibility. Over the last few days he had thought about what Hephzie had said, what Hephzie had said when she believed she and Bill were talking freely without spies. I love Stanford more than I fear you. Hephzie's love for him had been greater than her fear of Bill. At the same time, Ford was coming to terms with the fact that he loved her, too. And yet, he was struggling to come to terms that he might lose her. That she might die.

He knew that this was the hardest part about falling in love: letting go. Hephzie and Ford weren't that old, but their years were numbered. Eventually, one of them would beat the other to the grave and leave the other alone, but Ford had selfishly hoped that he would be the first to go. (Ford had been having similar thoughts about his twin over the last year; Ford was older by fifteen minutes, so he had hoped that it would mean that he would go first, not Stanley. He'd hate to leave his brother like that, but he didn't think he could handle losing Stanley again.) Strange, how they had gotten back together for only a short time and Ford already loved the old alchemist so much, much more than he had let on. I'm not babysitting you. I'm looking after the people I love. True, they had been together in the past, but that had been thirty years ago, and yet things picked up (almost) as smoothly as if no time had past, but the harsh truth was that a lot of time had past.

Ford wondered for a moment how Hephzie had felt when he had gone missing, and then asked himself if it was any different than how he felt right now. Hephzie had lost her only parental-figures and her boyfriend within the span of six months. Loosing Ford wasn't a break-up or a long-distance relationship. He had just one day disappeared and Hephzie had no idea what had happened to him. He could've been dead for all she knew. One way or another, Ford was gone, and he was sure that Hephzie had mourned, not only over her grandparents, but over him as well.

Well, at least if Ford died first, then it might be easier for Hephzie to mourn over him since she had done it before. The old man sighed at his selfishness and tried his best to prepare himself that Hephzie may very well be the first of the two to go. Everest whined when he heard Ford sigh and the human only petted him gently.

* * *

It still hurt. It still hurt immensely. Everything hurt to some degree. She was tired, but the gears in her mind were turning, dragging her away from sleep.

The first thing she noticed was how, despite her pain, she was comfortably tucked into a bed. She felt a washcloth over her forehead and was cozy under the fluffy blankets, a toasty cinnamon bun. She never wanted to leave. No powerful light disturbed her eyes and no loud sounds rung in her ears, but she was still in a lot of pain. She had a migraine and felt nauseous. She was starving, but she desperately didn't want to eat. The idea alone made her gag. Her legs felt numb with pain and her arms ached. Her back especially hurt her. She had noticed that her back had been hurting her lately due to her old age, but now it was worse than ever. Just everything hurt, but what hurt worst of all was her right femur.

Hephzie wanted to see where she was. She opened her eyes and saw the ceiling of Ford's room. The sunlight indicated that it late afternoon. Hephzie turned her head slightly, tending to her aching neck, and saw Ford sitting next to her, his head buried in his hands and Everest had his big head in his lap, drooling slightly. It was hard to tell if Ford was asleep or not. She found she didn't have to guess; perhaps they had sensed someone watching then, for only a second after she woke up, both Ford and Everest looked at Hephzie and Ford gasped with a relieved smile.

"Hephzie." He breathed and edged closer to her. Ford put a six-fingered hand on her right shoulder and asked, "How do you feel?"

"I can't say." She muttered and cringed as a wave of pain flooded her. "There's kids in the house." Hephzie joked, but then looked at Ford with wide eyes. "Are they okay?"

"They're both fine." Ford said with a soft smile. "They'll be down soon to see you soon."

"N' Stan? Is he okay?"

"Yes, he's fine."

"What about Wendy? Soos?"

"Everyone's fine, Hephzie." Ford soothed, sensing the tension in her voice and how stiff she was under his touch. It was clear that she would not rest until she was confident that everyone else involved with the incident was alright.

"N' ya?" Hephzibah asked desperately, looking at him carefully to see any injury he may be hiding.

Ford could only smile. Of course the first thing she would do when she woke up was check to see that everyone was okay. "I'm much better now that you're here, my dear."

Hephzie groaned and covered her eyes with her left arm, her lips curled upward. "Since when did ya get so cliche?"

Ford chuckled and shrugged. "Must be getting sentimental in my old age."

Hephzie chuckled along with him, but soon stopped as the extra effort needed to breathe ached, too. Ford caught this and watched her woefully. She soon looked back up at him and tried to smile, but seeing how uneasy he was made it hard to keep the look on her face.

Hephzie then looked down at her Saint Bernard when he nudged her hand with his wet nose. "Well, hey there, Everest. What, missed me or somethang?"

Hephzie tried to sit up, but her body felt too heavy and she barely touched her stump on the bed, forgetting it was there, and yelled out in pain. Everest stood on all fours and whimpered.

"Hephzibah!" Ford stopped her from trying to sit up and helped her lay comfortably on the couch once more.

Hephzie groaned in frustration through gritted teeth. She forced herself to lift her head enough to look down her body. She could see the outline of a human body underneath the blanket, all except for a right leg. The blanket was flat after halfway down the femur.

"Lie down." Ford instructed and gently lowered her head on the pillow. He removed the washcloth from her head and got up to re-rinse it in the bathroom sink to cool it down.

"What happened?" Hephzie asked as she petted Everest's head to try to sooth her pet, slowly recalling the incident. "Bill… what happened to him? Did ya manage to kill him?"

Ford let the washcloth run under the cold water and he looked at her shamefully. "No. He got away."

"He escaped?!" Hephzie held her head as the whole room seemed to spin like a marry-go-round.

"I'm afraid so." Ford answered and turned off the faucet. He squeezed out the access water from the small cloth.

"Great." Hephzie growled, her temper rising quickly, and her pain was not improving her mood. "Just great."

Ford returned to his chair and rested the washcloth on her forehead. This did little to help her, but it was better than nothing. The old scientist then averted his attention to a glass of water and a first aid kit by the empty fireplace. He grabbed a bigger medical bag by the foot of the couch and rummaged inside for the special painkillers. They were stronger than your standard over-the-counter medicine, but not strong enough to put Hephzie to sleep unless she took too many. Ford shook out two blue pills and put his free hand on her shoulder again.

"I need to help you sit up."

Hephzie lifted herself enough for Ford to slip his hand under her back. With his help, Hephzie shifted herself upward and leaned against the back of the couch for support. Her back screamed in agony, but her face only flinched. Ford quickly moved the pillow up against her spine to try to make her more comfortable and it already took a positive effect. Ford gave her the pills and the glass of water and she took her medicine. The water felt good on her throat, but made her stomach squirm. She swallowed hard and gave the water back only a few sips, unable to handle more, then she resumed petting Everest, this time scratching under his chin.

"How long have I been out?" Hephzie asked.

"Eight days." Ford answered gravely as he sat the half-finished glass down. "I… I wasn't…"

"Hephzie!"

The two old people and the dog looked at the bedroom door and saw Mabel standing at the door way with shining eyes. She ran throughout the house and gather her brother and great-uncle. Before long, the rest of the Pines family were paying Hephzie a visit.

"You're awake!" Mabel cheered with tears in her eyes. "Are you okay? How do you feel?"

"I'll be okay, Mabel." Hephzie reassured her and gave her a small smile, one in which the brunette returned. "M'fine." She even slipped the damp washcloth off of her forehead; those pills were already killing the pain and therefore making it easier for Hephzie to get her strength back.

"What you did back there…" Dipper said sheepishly. "That… that was incredible."

Hephzie knew the boy meant it as a compliment, but shame overflooded her as she looked at the tattoos on her hands. "Thank ya, sweetheart, but I don't ever want ya to be proud of what I did."

"What are you talking about?" Mabel asked gently as she sat on her knees next to the stressed Saint Bernard and petted his back.

"Human-transmutation is forbidden among alchemist." Hephzie explained as she looked up at the younger pair of twins. "It's caused nothin' but pain n' miserary n' stained the title 'alchemist' with blood over centuries. I should've never used it."

"But… but you didn't have a choice." Mabel reasoned.

"It doesn't matter." Hephzie said flatly. "The reason behind the crime doesn't make the guilty innocent. I may have saved us temporarily, but that's just it. I only delayed the inevitable. With Bill still out there…"

"But we can stop him!" Dipper said confidently. "We've done it before, and we'll do it again! He's been here before, first in my body and then during Weirdmageddon, and we've defeated him then and we'll defeat him now!"

"I like this champ's confidence!" Stan approved as he ruffled his pinetree hat.

"His powers may have survived the transmutation, but they definitely seem weaker than during Weirdmageddon." Ford said as he held his cleft chin. "It may be because the human body simply can't amplify that kind of power."

"I was hopin' he wouldn't have any powers at all." Hephzie explained. "That's why I gave him a body, but obviously I was wrong. I can't think of all he can do…"

"Regardless," Ford interrupted as she trailed off. "We can focus on stopping Bill some other time. Right now our top priority should be to get ourselves back together and think of a plan."

"Well, no one ever had a good idea on an empty stomach." Stan pointed out and left the room. "I'm gonna go finish dinner."

"Oo!" Mabel got an idea and ran out of the room. "I'll be back!"

She soon returned with her homemade walking stick in hand. It was beautifully decorated with carvings and a pink knitted cushion on the curved handle that was to go under the arm. A handle poked out on one side for Hephzie to grip, and the top half was coated in carved signatures from friends, ranging from the Pines family to Soos and Wendy to even one from Old Man McGucket.

Mabel held up her walking stick to Hephzie as the old alchemist pulled the blanket off of herself and slowly sat on the edge of the bed. "Here, Hephzie. I made this for you to help you walk."

Hephzie stared at the gift wide-eyed and soon smiled radiantly. "Mabel, thank ya very much! I love it, it's beautiful!"

Mabel blushed tomato-red as the old woman took it and tucked it under her arm and leaned on it to stand. Ford was by her side and tried to get her to sit back down and rest.

"Hephzibah, you really should…"

"I want to sit with my friends at the table, Stanford." Hephzie said firmly and bit her lip as she slowly stood up.

She tried to use the walking stick as a replacement for her right leg and still use her left leg. Still weak from the lack of energy, but with help from Mabel's walking stick and Ford's hands, and with Everest watching her to try to catch her if she fell, she stood up and slowly walked with Mabel leading the way out of the bedroom. Hephzie smiled to herself as she started to walk again and Ford couldn't help but copy her. Dipper gave his sister a proud pat on the back and the twins led the way down the wall.

Dinner, consisting of spaghetti and garlic bread, was pleasant, full of only good food and stories and jokes. After dinner, they all sat in the living room and snacked on popcorn while watching a movie. Hephzie had little energy, but felt much better since eating and found that she could manage to stay awake during the film. About nine o'clock or so, Ford walked with her to his bedroom and she sat on the couch, rubbing her underarm and carefully hoisting her right stump up on the couch.

"It'll take some gettin' used to, but I'll manage." Hephzie said to Ford as she tried to get comfortable. "I'm sorry that ya lost your bed." She added.

Ford shook his head. "I'm sorry you lost your leg." He said gravely.

Hephzie sighed and placed a hand on her right thigh. "I knew what I was doin'. I knew what could've happened. I could've lost anythang, my arm, my eyes, parts of my internal organs. I'm just grateful I didn't bleed to death, but that's all thanks to ya." Hephzie gave the old scientist a meaningful look. "Ya've done so much for me."

"As you've done for me." Ford replied and hesitantly added, "I… I just wish I could… wait one moment. Please?"

Hephzie gave a nod and Ford left the room. While he was gone, Hephzie laid her leg-and-a-half out on the couch and sat up again the pillows. By the time she had laid the blanket on top of her, Ford was back with rolls of blueprints and a stack of books and Hephzie had Everest lying at the foot of the couch, curled up into a big ball of fur for the night. He lifted his head and watched as Ford stuck the blueprints up on the chalkboard he had in his room and almost looked like a professor about to present a lecture, with his trenchcoat and all of his information.

"So… I've been thinking…" And he trailed off.

Hephzie chuckled. "You're always thinkin'."

Ford returned the chuckle and resumed sticking the blueprints up on the board. "That's true, but for the past few days I've been thinking more specifically about you and how you'll be walking from now on."

Hephzie's smile went away, and she gave a short nod of acknowledgment. She had known that she would be a liability from now on, but tried not to let that be true. She had naturally assumed that she would teach herself to walk with the stick and try to be independant and not a burden on anyone, especially not Ford. She didn't want to ride on his coattails.

"And I've come up with a plan to build you…" Ford moved aside and proudly showcased the blueprints for a… "...an automail leg."

"Automail?" Hephzie repeated and leaned forward to read the blueprints. It was all actually very well planned out and detailed. A design for a robotic prosthetic limb to replace the one she had lost was right in front of her.

"Yes!" Ford said gleefully, really getting into his element. This was something he could do to help her, this was something he was good at and it would benefit someone he cared about. "This isn't your normal prosthetic, of course. This automail would connect to your nerves so you could use it just like your natural leg. You'd be able to walk without painfully stubbing your toe or feeling an itch or dealing with an aching knee. Of course, the surgery and rehabilitation it would take would be hard and painful, I won't lie to you, but it would be well worth it. So, what do you think?" Ford asked and rubbed his hands together excitedly.

Hephzie stared with shining eyes at Ford. Was he seriously suggesting…? Did he really…? "So… you're offerin' to build me this? To give me surgery n' train me after?"

"I am." Ford said a little more seriously, but his smile remained. "Hephzibah… you've done so much for me and my family. It's the least I can do for all you've done."

Hephzie chuckled and shook her head. As she looked away, she thought about it some more. Ford tried to keep his smile as he waited for her response, but slowly her smile faded like a candle that had run out of wick and Ford's smile went away, too.

"Ford, how long would the rehabilitation take?" Hephzie finally asked him.

"Ah." Ford had to admit that that was a good question. "Well, all things considered I think it would be a year or more until you're completely healed and fully functional."

"Hm." Hephzie said and busied herself by petting Everest's back. The dog laid his head on the couch and closed his eyes happily over being showed affection. "Then no. I'm sorry."

Ford expected for Hephzie to sneer and say that she'll do it in six months, he expected her to hop right on the chance to get better, he expected her to take up the challenge, no matter how painful the surgery would be or how much blood she would spit up. What Ford didn't expect was for her to turn down his offer.

"E-Excuse me?" He stuttered, slightly flabbergasted.

"No." Hephzie repeated calmly. "I'm sorry, but my answer is no."

"But… but why?" Ford said, generally confused.

"Ford, if I did this, if I let ya build the automail n' give me surgery n' rehabilitate me, ya wouldn't be able to go back sailin' with Stan." Hephzie explained. "Weren't ya plannin' on goin' back out there once the kids were gone?"

Ford opened his mouth to retaliate, but his answer died in his throat. How Hephzie knew all of this was a slight mystery to him, but when given the time to think about it, not really. Hephzie was bound to hear stories or pick up hints. Maybe Mabel told her. Maybe she just guessed accurately. It didn't matter; she was right.

At the beginning of the summer, the plan was for the Pines to return to the Mystery Shack for a three-month-long family reunion, but then the kids would go back to California and Stan and Ford would resume their sailing and exploring. Soos and Abuelita would move back into the Shack to look after things, and this cycle was bound to continue until either the kids stopped coming to Gravity Falls for the summer or the old men retired their sailing. Whichever came first.

"We don't have to leave as soon as the summer's over." Ford finally replied. "We could stay home until after the holidays and you could recuperate and live here with Soos and his grandmother. I'm not sure if you've ever met her…"

"No, we're friends. We actually go to the same hair salon n' like to gossip." Hephzie answered with a chuckle.

"Well, there we have it!" Ford said, his optimism returning. "You're more than welcome to stay here as long as you need to."

"But how long would that be?" Hephzie argued as she rubbed her forehead irritably. "Look, ya know I'm grateful ya gave Everest n' I a place to stay since my home burned down, but I can't ask to stay here forever. I always planned on stayin' 'til the end of summer, n' I'm gonna stick to that plan."

Ford stared at her for a minute, but then slowly nodded and started to roll up his blueprints. He needed to respect her decision. So many thoughts were swimming through his head at once that he needed to be careful that he didn't say something he'd regret. Hephzie was tired and injured and no doubt more irritated and angry than she was letting on. Ford tucked the rolls of blueprints under his arm and turned to face her.

"If that's what you want, I'll stand by any decision you make, but… please think about it." Ford added and headed for the door. "I'll let you get some sleep. If you feel any pain, take two of the blue pills I gave you earlier."

"Thanks. I'll… I'll think about it." Hephzie said and let the scientist leave the room.

Once he was gone and had closed the door, Hephzie sighed, leaned back on the couch, and held her forehead. She was an idiot.

Ford, meanwhile, walked across the house and to the secret door behind the vending machine in the gift shop. He activated it with his electric watch, rather than the password, and traveled down to his study, where he had been working on the blueprints for the anotmail leg. As he had walked, as he had traveled down to his study, as he put the blueprints on his desk, sat down, and held his head while it pounded like a drum, he did some thinking.

What was it with the people Ford cared about and thinking that all they did was ride on his coattails?! Ford had heard what Pa had said as he kicked Stan out. Ford had seen the way Stan seemed to be walking on broken eggshells around him when they first started sailing. Ford had seen the say Hephzie wouldn't meet his eyes when first offered to live in the Mystery Shack. Ford had felt the atmosphere change when he offered to build her a new leg.

He sighed to himself and pinched the bridge of his nose with his elbows on the desk and his free hand resting on his opposite arm. Ford was fully prepared to stay in Gravity Falls a little longer to help Hephzie if needed. Sure, Stan might not like having to delay their resume travels, but he would get over it. He would understand. Hephzie could stay. Why was she in such a hurry to leave, anyway? Why was she so determined to move out once the summer was over? Was it all really because she didn't want to be a burden, that she wanted to be independent? Ford could respect that and even sympathize with that, but he had already let one loved one live on the streets due to his bad decisions and he wasn't going to let it happen again.

Ford knew where he had messed up. He was not a man who liked to talk about his feelings or was good about making himself clear when it came to his emotions. Ford kicked himself for not telling Hephzie what he wanted. I don't want you to leave. I want you to stay indefinitely. I want you to stay permanently. I want my house to be your home. I want to take care of you and I want you to stay, because… well, because…

Ford leaned back in his chair and checked the time. It wasn't even that late, and yet he was already so tired. The lack of sleep the last few nights must be catching up with him. Ford laid his head and arms on the desk and willed himself to rest. It didn't take long from him to drift into a dreamless sleep.


	25. Lkb Pqbm Xq X Qfjb

Everest perked up when he heard Momma moan with Pain. He was laying by her side when she was reaching over the edge of the couch for something. He nudged her to try to get her attention, but Momma was in too much Pain. Everest could tell. He could hear it, see it in her face, even smell it in the air. Momma was in Pain, and there was nothing Everest could do about that. He didn't like that.

Everest then ran to the closed door and scratched and barked at it. He knew he probably shouldn't bark, but how else was he supposed to get Papa's attention? Everest used to think of him only as the Man, but he liked him a lot, so he now called him Papa. He had seen the way he cared and loved Momma. Everest loved Momma, and ever since he first met Papa, Everest grew to love him, too. But Papa wasn't coming. No one was coming!

"Everest! Hush." Momma commanded, so Everest sat by the door and whimpered quietly. He was Sad. Momma was in Pain and no one was coming to Help.

Everest walked back to the bed and watched as Momma leaned against the side of the couch and ate something and drank something. Everest could tell that she needed to do that to feel better. Papa made her do it earlier to get rid of the Pain. Everest rubbed his head against Momma to remind her that he was here for her, and then he tried to help her lay back on the couch, putting his big head under her chest and pushing her upward slowly.

Momma chuckled and laid on the couch all by herself. She held out a hand to Everest and he laid his head on it. "You're a good boy, Everest."

Everest's tail wagged. He knew he was a Good Boy, Momma told him that all the time so it must be true, but it was still nice to hear it. Momma then slowly sat on the edge of the couch so her foot was on the floor, and then she grabbed her neat new stick. Everest knew he wasn't supposed to bite that stick, but it was hard not to. Everest sat and watched as she used the neat stick to get up.

"Ya wanna go for a walk?" Momma asked when she stood up on her leg.

Everest stood up. Walk? He loved Walks! He hadn't been out for a Walk in forever! Everest ran to the door and hopped around. Momma laughed, so he knew he wasn't doing anything Bad, and then she opened the door.

Hephzie walked slowly down the hall. Not just because she was struggling to walk so differently, as true as that was, but she was also slow in order to be quiet. It was seven o'clock or so in the morning, and though Ford may be awake, the rest of the Pines very well may not be. And Hephzie wasn't in the mood to talk to Ford yet, anyhow.

She was careful to try to have her cane replace her missing leg. Her underarm ached after awhile and her remaining leg soon grew sore from carrying her entire body alone. Hephzie paused at the front door and opened it slowly. Everest ran across the porch and out into the yard, barking happily and enjoying the fresh air. Hephzie smiled at seeing her dog so happy and slowly followed, closing the door behind her and walking like the cripple she was off the porch and into the yard.

She took in a deep breath and revealed in the crisp morning air. She suddenly felt much better, like her spirit had been lifted, and so she went ahead with her original plan and began to walk around the edge of the yard to think clearly and to get her body used to this new way of walking.

Ford woke up around eight o'clock, and after popping his aching neck and shoulders from sleeping on his desk, he went upstairs and turned on the coffee pot. While waiting for his java to brew, he decided to check on Hephzie, just peek into his room to see if she was sleeping well. His eyes widened to find his couch empty. He was first surprised but then irritated when he thought of where she was. He went to the porch and sighed to himself to find her right where he thought she would be: circling the yard and walking with her stick.

His anger demolished itself and he could understand Hephzie's drive to do something. That was another thing they had in common. Ford walked down the porch steps and up to the crippled woman. She looked up and smiled at him before looking down again. Everest, who had taken to walking next to his master, nudged Ford with his head and the old scientist petted his head in greeting as they walked.

"Slept well?" Hephzie asked.

"Fine, my dear, thank you." Ford responded. "How did you sleep?"

"After I took the pills I was out like a light." Hephzie informed him.

"Good. I'm glad to hear that." Ford replied and then fell silent. What now? What was there to address? Maybe a simple conversation about anything but there uneasiness would be nice. Ford opened his mouth to make a comment about the beautiful morning when Hephzie spoke first.

"So… I've been thinkin' 'bout your offer."

Ford looked at her. "And?"

Hephzie looked up at him as they continued to walk. "Is it too late to take ya up on it?"

"Of course not!" Ford jumped at the question happily. "What made you change your mind?"

"I'll admit it, I kinda said 'no' haphazardly." Hephzie said as she looked out at the woods they were surrounded by. "I told myself the minute I agreed to move in that I wouldn't be a burden to ya. I'd get out of your hair as soon as I could. I wouldn't tie ya down."

"You don't!" Ford said quickly and put ah and to his forehead. "Why does… Hephzibah, you're not…"

"Let me finish." Hephzie interrupted. "I can't very well be of any help to ya or your family like this." She gestured down to her body and went on. "I'm useless to ya like this. I did what I had to do to save your life n' to give ya an opportunity to kill Bill, but now I can't fight, I can't even walk properly anymore! How am I supposed to help ya n' your family like this? How am I supposed to carry 'round my own weight if I literally can't carry my own weight from the kitchen to the livin' room without help?"

"Hephzibah, you're not useless." Ford said firmly as they reached the road in front of the gift shop and crossed it. "You're a strong, intelligent, beautiful woman who has done so much for me and my family already. I can't put into words how much I appreciate you and all that you've done. That's why I want to do this. I want to try to repay you in some small way of just how much you've done for me."

"This isn't payment."

"Nor is it a charity case." Ford made clear and stopped walking in the middle of the road. Everest and Hephzie stopped as the sun rose next to them. "This is me helping someone I love."

Hephzie blushed with a shocked expression on her face like a teenager, her cheeks rosy and her eyes round and sparkling. She looked away, her face shadowed by the rising sun, and she distracted herself by scratching Everest behind the ear.

Ford lowered his gaze to try to meet her eyes, but she was looking downward too much for it to be possible. "I… I heard what you said to Bill." He said sheepishly and bit his lip before asking timidly, "Hephzibah… do you really love me?"

Hephzie head snapped up so quickly her neck ahced, but she did nothing about it. She met his eyes and her lips were parted slightly. "Of course I do. Had I ever done somethang that convinced ya otherwise?"

"No, but I had never heard you say it."

"Well, then I'll say it again. I love you, Ford. I have for over thirty years n' I ain't plannin' on stoppin' anytime soon." Hephzie said boldly with her posture straight, but there was no smile on her face. She was serious, but seemed hesitant to express joy. "Even if ya don't love me back."

Ford was floored by what she had said. She was immensely bold about her proclamation for loving Ford. Perhaps her age aided in that regard; she'd gotten to the point where she didn't care anymore if Ford loved her back or not, but that was still a concern for her. Well, that didn't have to be a concern any longer. He may not have loved her the same way she loved him back in the day, but now he had found that he had completely and hopelessly fallen in love.

Ford smiled and gently lifted a hand to her left cheek, the one facing the sun. Hephzie smiled and rested her cheek into his hold slightly.

"Of course I love you." Ford said quietly, kissed her lips, then pulled back to add, "I love you, Hephzibah, and, if you'll let me, I want to help you in the best possible way."

Hephzie chuckled and then requested, "Say it again."

"I want to help…?"

"No, before that." Hephzie interrupted.

"If you'll let me?"

"No, before that."

Ford smiled when he understood what she wanted. "I love you."

"Yup, there it is." Hephzie said blissfully and closed her eyes peacefully. "I've waited to hear ya say that for thirty-five years."

God, thirty-five years. Was that how long ago their first date was or how long since she first fell in love with him? Who cares. Ford kissed her again and she kissed back happily. She wrapped an arm around his waist, still leaning on her cane. With laughter in their throats, they seperated and continued their walk around the clearing the Shack stood in. They made it to the otherside of the road and started to pass the gift shop entrance when they picked the conversation back up where they left off.

"So, ya really think ya can build the automail?" Hephzie asked.

"I can." Ford said proudly. "I'll need a few parts from the alien spacecraft, but I'll have Dipper help me gather the materials I need. It should take a week or so to build it, then we can attach it and begin the rehabilitation and training."

"What do I need to do?"

"Not only do you need to recover from the blood loss and the life threatening-injury you sustained, you need to be at your best health for the surgery. Get plenty of rest, eat well, small exercises are alright as long as you don't over do it."

Mabel, meanwhile, was sitting on her bed, cross-legged, with her pig in her lap. She petted Waddles' head and sighed to herself quietly. How many nightmares was she going to have to take? They had never been this bad, ever. Even after Weirdmageddon, her nightmares hadn't been this frequent. Flashes of the horrible apocalypse, reliving that horrifying moment her Grunkle Stan didn't remember her, her mind imagining the worst happening to her family. Mabel had experienced it all before only a few times, her nightmares quickly chased away by hugs from her brother and encouraging texts and emails from her great-uncles. They had almost gone away until the guilt started to resurface. Then they had come back, only once a week or so, but ever since Bill… ever since Hephzie got hurt, Mabel had been having a nightmare every night.

This time, she had woken up just as the sun was rising, and so rather than try and fail to go back to sleep, she sat up and contemplated getting dressed for the day, but Waddles had left Dipper's bed and snuggled up with Mabel. Now she found it hard to leave her bed. Maybe she should just lie back down and go to sleep. What was even the point in getting out of bed?

Waddles lifted his head and scampered off the bed to the window too high up for him to see out of. Mabel got up to see what her pig was trying to see. She smiled a little when she saw Grunkle Ford and Hephzie walking by the edge of the forest together, talking, with Everest trailing behind them. Mabel was happy for Hephzie and Ford. Maybe they'd finally start dating officially. Or maybe they already had and hadn't told anyone. Old people get weird about that sort of thing.

Waddles went to the door and scratched at it, probably so he could go downstairs for food, and the thought of breakfast made Mabel get dressed for the day. Maybe they could go down to the diner! No, Hephzie couldn't do a lot of walking. Well, maybe she could. Maybe she'd like to get out of the Mystery Shack. Mabel picked out her old Shamrock-sweater and slipped it on to bring them all good luck today. With a matching skirt and headband, she quietly closed the bedroom door so Dipper could sleep and she went downstairs.

Mabel instantly smelled coffee and when she saw the pot full of the caffeinated drink, she guessed her great-uncle had brewed it before going on a short walk with Hephzie. Mabel wandered to the fridge and pulled out the carton of orange juice. As she poured herself a glass, the old couple walked in slowly and Everest ran ahead to lick Mabel in greeting.

"Good morning, Mabel." Ford said as Hephzie sat down at the table. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah, slept great!" Mabel lied a little too easily. She used to hate lying, but she seemed to have learned a thing or two from Grunkle Stan and now it was second-nature. "How did you two sleep?"

"Just fine. Hephzibah, would you like some coffee?" Ford asked as he got down a mug for himself.

"Please." Hephzie replied and scratched Everest behind the ears as he laid his big head on her lap.

"Grunkle Ford, can we go to the diner today?" Mabel asked as she sat at the table and sippd on her glass of juice.

"Hm." Ford gave the idea some thought as he poured the coffee. "I don't know, Mabel. Is your brother up?"

"Nope, but Everest and I can fix that! Dogpile!" Mabel yelled and ran out of the kitchen with Everest and Waddles at her heels.

"Goin' out sounds great to me!" Hephzie said optimistically as she accepted Ford's offered mug of coffee.

"Are you sure?" He asked as he placed the creamer and sugar on the table. "You're still recovering and I'd hate to see you overwork yourself."

"Stanford, we're goin' out for pancakes, not runnin' a marathon. I can take a quick drive to the diner n' back." Hephzie reasoned as she sweetened her cup of caffeine.

"Alright, but the minute you feel any pain or the least bit tired, we're returning home." Ford made clear as he sat down.

Stan walked in with his maroon robe on over his boxers and undershirt, and grunted good morning before pouring himself some coffee.

"Stan, do you wish to join us and the kids on a trip to the diner?" Ford asked.

"Sixer, there is a gun in the nightstand next to my bed." Stan grunted before sipping his black coffee. "If I ever say no to food, I want you to use it on me, cuz it ain't me."

"Duly noted." Ford said with a roll of his eyes.

An hour later and Pines family plus Hephzie walked into the diner. It was busy with people getting pancakes for breakfast. Wendy and her father were at the bar; the redheaded teenager threw a wave to the gang as they passed by. They sat at a booth with Mabel, Dipper, and Hephzie crammed on one side and the elder twins on the other side. Soon they were approached by a old woman with a lazy eye.

"Oh my gosh, if it isn't Hephzibah Cece!" Lazy Susan gasped and Hephzie smiled back at her. "How long has it been?"

"Too long." Hephzie said. "How's business?"

"Booming, as usual. Gotta say, it's nice to have my favorite kind of pine back in the diner." Lazy Susan added with a makeshift wink at Stan.

"Good to see you, too, Lazy Susan." The old conman said as he paid close attention to the menu he knew like the back of his hand.

"And look at you, you Man of Mystery!" Lazy Susan teased as she elbowed Ford's shoulder. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were afraid of this old place!"

"Good thing you know better, Susan." Ford greeted with a smile. "I'll start off with a coffee, please."

"Same." Stan grunted

"Hot tea with lemon, please." Hephzie said.

"Just some water." Dipper added.

"Hot chocolate!" Mabel said excitedly and Susan left to place the order.

"Mabel, it's already 78 degrees and it's supposed to be 92 later today." Dipper pointed out.

"So?" Mabel asked. "It's never a wrong time for hot chocolate!"

"Amen, sister." Hephzie teased as she ruffled the brunette's hair.

Lazy Susan came back with a tray full of hot drinks apart from Dipper's water and then left to give them more time to decide what to order. Stan and Ford had their backs to the door, so they didn't see the young blonde enter the diner in a pink dress and an apron, but Dipper and Mabel saw her.

"No, WAY!" Dipper gasped.

Mabel stood up and waved. "PACIFICA! PACIFICA! OVER HERE! IT'S ME, MABEL!"

Pacifica turned bright red and signaled for Mabel to sit down as she approached the table. "Geez, keep it down, will you, Mabel? I can't people know I actually talk to you to weirdos." Her words were cold, but her smile was warm and she gave a playful smirk that reassured her true intentions.

"Good to see you, too, Pacifica." Dipper said sarcastically with a roll of his eyes.

"We haven't seen you all summer, not since the big Start of Summer Party!" Mabel commented. "Where have you been?!"

"Here in this hovel, mostly." Pacifica said with a shrug. "How have you guys been?"

"We're okay." Dipper answered and then gave a playful snicker at Pacifica's work uniform. "Nice apron."

"Hey! I look great in everything, including an apron!" Pacifica snapped. "At least I still have better fashion sense than you!"

"How do you like working at the diner, Pacifica?" Ford asked politely.

Pacifica blushed a little bit and rubbed the back of her neck. "It's okay, I guess. Better than sitting around at home."

"Hey, at least your rolling in the dough." Stan commented.

"Yeah, whatever." Pacifica said with a small smile. "Susan and her friends are really nice."

"Hey!" Mabel gasped as she had an idea happening. "Candy and Grenda want to have a sleepover at the Shack. You should totally come!"

Pacifica shrugged, trying to hide the small smile on her lips, but she was failing. "I don't know, I'll probably be working."

Susan came up behind her and said while the girl jumped, "I'll make sure you get the night off! Just say the word!"

"Thanks, Lazy Susan!" Mabel thanked.

Pacifica rolled her eyes with a small smile and said, "Alright, I'll go. Just text me, okay, Mabel?"

"Ya got it, P!"

Pacifica left to take another table's order and after Lazy Susan took her table's order, Ford brought up a new topic of conversation.

"You know, I need to make a special expedition to the alien spacecraft. There are two ways we can go: the day-trip I took Dipper on, or the two-day hike I went on with McGucket. We could make the adventure a multi-day long task and you could have your sleepover with your friends, Mabel."

"That'd be perfect, thanks Grunkle Ford!" Mabel said optimistically, hiding the fact that she really wanted to go on an adventure with Ford to the spacecraft and prove she could handle it.

"Wait, we're going back to Crash Sight Omega?!" Dipper said excitedly. "That's so cool! But why?"

Ford opened his mouth to answer by spilling into a magnificent speech about his new project and how he was going to build the greatest automail this world had ever seen, but he saw the look on Hephzie's face. She had been sipping her hot tea quietly and lowered her cup to shake her head slightly so no one else would catch it. Ford's voice got caught in his throat and he quickly changed direction.

"Well, I'm running low on some supplies for inventions and experiments, and I'd like to replenish as soon as possible."

Dipper seemed to take that an an acceptable answer, and so he sipped his water and then pulled out his phone to scroll through the internet while waiting for their food.

Not long at all, Lazy Susan came back with five tall stacks of pancakes and an extra side of bacon for Stan. The group munched on breakfast happily and endured Mabel's babbling about the ideas she had for the latest sleepover.


	26. Whoolqj Vwrulhv

Hephzie paid the pizza delivery man after he happily greeted his little pen-pal, Mabel, and the ladies rejoined Candy, Grenda and Pacifica in the living room. Candy, whose parents didn't allow animals at home, was snuggling with Everest, sitting against him like a pillow and petting him gently, and chatting with Pacifica while she dug through her make-up bag for nail polish for them to use after dinner. Grenda had a duffel bag full of books next to her and rubbed her hands together when Hephzie and Mabel entered the room with the pizza in Mabel's hands.

"Awesome, thanks Ms. Cece!" Grenda said.

"Please, call me Hephzie." The old woman said and she snagged a slice of pepperoni pizza and then leaned carefully on her stick to leave the room. "Well, I'll leave ya ladies be. Let me know if ya need anythang."

"Cool, thanks Hephzie." Mabel said and sat down in the little circle. Waddles ran up to her and sat snugly in her lap. Hephzie was at the doorway and ready to go into Ford's room to read a book when she heard, "So, Grenda did you bring… the stuff?"

"Oh, I got the good stuff this time." Grenda said in a low voice and Hephzie paused to see what Grenda had brought, confident it was nothing bad but she would be a horrible caretaker if she didn't see what the teenagers were about to get into. "The two part finale of Wolfman Bare Chest!"

The four girls squealed and Hephzie cringed. Even as a little girl herself, she could never understand how other females got so… squeal-y.

"Are you kidding me, I love that series!" Pacifica cheered, happy to find other girls who liked those books.

"Gerard is just so fierce!" Mabel sighed as her fanned her face. "What I wouldn't give to meet a real werewolf!"

"I don't know, Mabel, that one werewolf your great-uncles warned us about on Summerween didn't sound so dreamy." Candy said hesitantly.

"Oh, don't worry, Can-Can." Mabel said gently. "Ford said that wasn't a real werewolf, just a wolf that had been exposed to chemical waste. Werewolves are still dreamy creatures that change with the moon and run around shirtless and..."

"Oh, c'mon!" Hephzie yelled frustratedly and walked back into the room. "Sorry to disappoint ya, ladies, but werewolves are nothin' like those stupid Hollywood cash-grabs!"

"How do you know?" Candy asked as the four teenagers leaned forward on their bent knees with shiny eyes.

"Yeah… how do you know?" Mabel pressed.

Hephzie blushed and rubbed her beck. "Well…"

"Forget the finale!" Grenda said and tossed the book aside. "I want the real deal!"

"Yeah, tell us, Hephzie!" Pacifica begged.

"PLEASE!" The four squealed.

Hephzie cringed but smiled. She slowly sat down, completing the circle, and sat so her legs would've been crossed if she had both, but for now her left leg bent alone. "Alright, I suppose it's time I told this story. Not even Ford knows."

The girls "oooooo"ed and got comfortable with their pizza as Hephzie started to tell her story.

"When I was a little gurl, a few years younger than y'all, I had a friend who I had met while explorin' the woods. Ya see, there was once a time when Gravity Falls wasn't so acceptin' of the strange. Fifty years ago Gravity Falls was very different than what it is now. While the magical creatures were fightin' over territory, the humans were terrified of the woods n' stayed away. The Manotaurs hated the mermaids, the mermaids hated the gnomes, the gnomes hated the unicorns, n' the unicorns hated everybody. Borders were defined n' redefined as they battled each other, but there was one thang they all agreed on: they all hated humans.

"The magical creatures had come to an agreement that all humans ever did was kill the forest n' look after 'emselves with no regard for others. N' so the anomalies kept to 'emselves while the humans were busy arguin' over whether a colored person who sit next to a white person at a diner. I, however, didn't listen to my grandparents' warnin's n' played in the woods every chance I got. One day, I was playin' by a little waterfall, smaller than Trembly Falls n' hidden by rocks, when I heard a low growl. I stopped hoppin' on rocks to cross the little lake n' listened. I was so scared the only movement I could make was for a long stick that floated in the water. I pointed it ahead as a wolf jumped onto the rock right in front of me n' bared his teeth at me."

The girls gasped and stared as Hephzie told her story. She smiled, enjoying having such a great audience, and went on with her story.

"His eyes weren't like the wolf ya saw, Mabel. His eyes were almost human, a beautiful dark green that seemed to be looking into my very soul. I tried to be brave, but I was scared that he would jump on me n' kill me. I later learned that he was supposed to, but when he saw my eyes n' saw how scared I was, he couldn't do it. We both saw how humane the other was, n' we slowly relaxed, but when the wolf took a step forward, I ran for my life. I ran n' ran until I came home, n' then I ran into my room, jumped into bed, n' buried my head in my pillow, afraid that he had followed me home. For ya see, I didn't know that I hadn't met just some wolf that was huntin' for food, but I had met my best friend."

"So romantic!" Mabel sighed.

Hephzie chuckled. "It was far from that, sweetheart. A few days later, I was walkin' around town n' sellin' flowers. I used to use alchemy to make flowers n' sell 'em for extra money to help 'round the house, n' one day a boy my age came up to me n' complimented my flowers, sayin' they were far more beautiful than anythang he had seen in the woods. He didn't have any money for a flower, but I gave him one anyways. He had a black mullet for hair n' two little braids in the side of his hair, so he picked a flower n' asked me to braid it into his hair, so I made a third braid n' laced a tiny blue flower into it. Since he couldn't pay for the flower, he offered to show me somethang cool instead, so I went with him."

"What was his name?!" Grenda asked excitedly.

Hephzie sighed happily and said, "Ahllen. His name was Ahllen. That day, he showed me a pretty hikin' trail hidden in the woods n' we explored it all day until he walked me home. After that, we always seemed to find each other n' we played together. One day, his head was low n' he seemed ashamed. He then waited until we were sittin' under a pine tree eatin' apples to tell me somethang. Hidden by a shadow, he begged me not to be afraid, n' he changed into a wolf, just like that. He then asked me why I wasn't afraid - his hearin' was so good he could hear heartbeats, n' mine didn't pick up speed - n' I shrugged n' said that it was still him, n' so after that our friendship grew stronger."

"What was Ahllen like?" Pacifica awed.

Hephzie chuckled as she remembered her old friend. "He was a ball of fire trapped in a mortal body. He had a free spirit n' the drive to achieve what he wanted. He was prideful, fun, quite the dancer n' fighter, n' he loved his family n' friends more than life itself. He always called me his little sister, seein' me as one of his own five sisters back home. He had dark green eyes, light-brown skin, black hair, n' a smile that outshined the sun every day."

"He sounds amazing!" Mabel admired.

"He was. He was my best friend for many years. Ya see, his mother was queen of their people, n' he was the eldest, so he was gonna be king one day. He n' I knew we weren't allowed to be friends - the magical creatures were forbidden from showin' 'emselves to humans - so we had to play in secret. We would hide in the caves under Gravity Falls n' draw new pictures or create mischief in the town. Ahllen could be disguised as a human for a long as he needed to be, but he liked bein' a wolf n' I made it clear that he could be whichever form he wanted 'round me, but that meant that, once or twice, I was caught talkin' to or readin' to a wolf in the woods. I already didn't have any friends cuz I wasn't like the other gurls, n' now kids called me a witch n' told me I was gonna be burned alive or hung from a tree."

"That's awful!" Candy yelled.

"Ya have to understand, it was a different time, gurls." Hephzie said cautiously. "While the magical creatures were fighin' bloody battles, the humans were busy fightin' over civil rights. Gravity Falls had never let slavery be legal, but the Jim Crow laws managed to sneak it's way in, somehow. I wasn't allowed into the library until 1964; I had to sneak in n' steal books to learn how to read n' then teach Ahllen. I taught him how to read n' he taught me how to fight. We grew together, but soon I could no longer avoid my problems by runnin' into the woods. A lot of adults heard 'bout the strange little gurl who was playin' with wolves, the same gurl who could make flowers out of thin air. They didn't understand, so therefore I was dangerous. Grandma n' Grandpa did everythang they could, but as colored people, their voices meant nothin'. It escalated until one day, when walkin' home, I was jumped by a big gang of older boys who had rocks in their hands."

The girls gasped and leaned forward to listen closer.

"Ahllen had hidden in the woods just in time, n' I tried to get the boys to leave me alone, but their leader, a big kid in my martial-arts class, threw the first rock n' it hit me by my eye. After that, they threw their rocks to stop me from seein' their punches n' kicks. I managed to hold my own for a bit, but soon I was on my stomach n' hopin' that they wouldn't kill me. I shut my eyes tightly n' didn't open 'em until I heard a boy screamin' n' Ahllen growlin'. I looked up to see that he had bitten one boy by the leg n' was draggin' him away. The other boys yelled n' ran away. I yelled at Ahllen to stop n' he let the boy go, his bite pretty bad but not too bad that he wouldn't limp home. Before I could convince Ahllen to run, a group of men showed up with big guns n' tried to kill Ahllen. He ran into the woods with the men after him. I tried to run after 'em, but Grandpa was there n' grabbed my arm. He asked if I was hurt n' I told him that I didn't care n' had to stop 'em from hurtin' my only friend, so I broke free n' ran."

"What did you do?!" Mabel begged, the story getting really juicy.

"It was easy to follow the men." Hephzie answered. "They were yellin' n' shootin' their guns loudly. Ahllen ran deep into the forest, just missin' the magical part of it, but he knew better than to lead the humans to his home. He was cornered against the side of a mountain n' growled at the circle of men, ready to shoot. I managed to run past 'em all n' I grabbed Ahllen 'round the neck n' shielded him with my body…"

 _"STOP!" Grandpa yelled and pushed his way past the circle. "THAT'S MY GRANDDAUGHTER!"_

 _"Than get a hold of your kid, George, and get her out of the way." Northwest sneered with his own musket pointed at the wolf._

 _Grandpa stepped closer to Hephzibah with his hands up in surrender, not much different than how Stanley had once approached his grandnephew with his hand over the red button. "Hephzibah, get away from that thang."_

 _Hephzibah tightened her hold on Ahllen's neck. "No." She said boldly._

 _"Hephzibah…"_

 _"I said no!" Hephzibah yelled, not just to her grandfather, but to the rest of the men. "If ya wanna kill him you'll have to kill me, too!"_

 _"Hephzibah!" Grandpa gasped at her boldless. "It's just a wolf, sweetheart."_

 _"No, he's not!" Hephzibah yelled. "He's my best friend! He's my only friend! Who cares if he looks different! We look different, yet we still wanna be treated equally, don't we?"_

 _Grandpa stared at his grandchild. "That… that is entirely different."_

 _"How?" Hephzibah asked._

 _Grandpa didn't have an answer. Hephzibah looked around the little group of men and recognized some of them. She recognized the bald mailman who always whistled when he walked. She recognized Mr. Northwest. She even saw Mr. Wentworth, Susan's dad, whom Hephzibah had saved over a year ago. Many other men, black and white, circled her with guns, but they were lowering their weapons and looked ashamed._

 _Hephzibah swallowed and spoke to them all. "I don't really get it. Maybe I am just a kid, but I know a good person when I meet one, n' I think we're all pretty great, includin' Ahllen, but we gotta treat each other like it. This is Gravity Falls. Aren't we all a little weird? What good will it do gettin' rid of people who are different?"_

 _Ahllen took in a deep breath, and spoke, too. "Hephzie's right. We can't fight like this anymore."_

 _The men gasped at hearing a wolf speak. A few even dropped their guns all together. Grandpa closed his eyes tightly in shame and fell to his aching knees._

 _"Ya… y'all are right." Grandpa opened his eyes and looked at his little girl. "M' so sorry I ever doubted ya, Half-Pint."_

 _"Grandpa…" Hephzibah finally let go of Ahllen and ran into Grandpa's arms. They hugged each other tightly, and the old man whispered in her ear,_

 _"I'm very proud of ya."_

"The peace didn't last long." Hephzie went on. "The men agreed to let Ahllen n' I go, but Mr. Northwest wasn't happy 'bout that at all. Tried to tell people that I was gonna get all the creatures of Gravity Falls to attack, but most men didn't listen to him, so he went back to tryin' to keep the Jim Crow laws goin', but at the end of that summer, Martin Luther King Jr. made his I Have A Dream speech n' no one in Gravity Falls was willin' to keep the laws goin' anymore."

"Wow," Mabel breathed. "That's amazing!"

"Wait, what happened to Ahllen?" Grenda asked, and then gasped. "Does he have any cute grandkids?!"

Hephzie chuckled and shook her head. "Well, thangs for the humans may have gotten better, but thangs for the anomalies didn't. They were still fightin'. Ahllen n' I tried to stop the fightin'. We'd go out onto battlefields, sword n' shield wokrin' together, n' we'd tried to get 'em to stop. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. Eventually, after one last courageous battle, Ahllen managed to declare the war over. He was wise beyond his years, n' he convinced all of the magical creatures to stop fightin'. Ahllen was crowned king after that, n' he led his people out of Gravity Falls for a new land where they would be safe."

"Wow!" Mabel awed. "You fought in battles and stopped an entire war!"

"So, wait, Ahllen moved away?" Candy asked woefully.

Hephzie nodded solemnly. "The only reason they hadn't let sooner was cuz they were afraid of their enemies followin' 'em. They had no reason to stay n' had heard rumors of a hidden land up north where they could go."

"I'm… I'm really sorry, Hephzie." Pacifica said quietly, not just sorry for Hephzie's friend moving away but for everything Pacifica's great-grandfather had done in the past.

Hephzie shrugged. "We still keep in touch. He's sent me letters n' has an enormous family. He's a very successful n' wise king now." The old lady with only one leg picked a slice of pizza and munched on it as she asked, "Now, I wanna hear some of your stories!"

"We don't really have any…"

"Nonsense, Mabel, everyone has a story. That's what life is, just one big story."

Mabel helped her chin for a moment, and then her eyes got big as an idea came to her. "Oh! There was the time we met Sev'ral Timez!"

Pacifica gasped. "You actually met Sev'ral Timez?!"

Hephzie smiled and listened as Mabel, Candy, and Grenda told her and Pacifica how they met a group of hot clones.

* * *

Ford added another log to the fire as Stan told Dipper more about the giant sea turtles they came across while sailing across the Arctic Ocean. While out on the Stan O' War II, the elders twins had done a good job of staying in touch with the younger twins thanks to emails and text messages and phone calls and video chats, (What a time to be alive!) but it was nice to give more details face-to-face. Dipper had to admit that it was nice to be on a hiking trip alone with his great-uncles and hear stories without Mabel around to cough up glitter, but after a certain point Dipper did miss her squeal of excitement and hilarious questions and tasteful comebacks. Still, a guy's trip was a guy's trip, and Dipper was sure his sister was having a great time with the girls.

"I still think a giant turtle would've made a nice attraction. Plus it'd give the Gobblewonker a friend!" Stan playfully argued when Ford sat back down next to him on a log.

"First off, a Galapagos turtle would not make a suitable playmate for the legendary Gravity Falls' Gobblewonker. Old Nessie would be a much better fit."

"Yeah! We should try to find her next!"

"Second, there's no way we could have fit a turtle on the boat. Maybe a baby, but the ones that could fir were too young to leave their mothers. Not to mention they would've survive…"

"You really know how to ruin a joke, Poindexter." Stan said as he rolled his eyes and stuck another marshmallow on his stick and poked it into the fire to cook the sugary treat.

"I hope we get to see a Scampfire." Dipper pipped. "I read about them in your journal, Grunkle Ford, and they seem interesting."

"Oh, they're very active this time of the year." Ford acknowledged. "If not tonight we'll probably see one tomorrow night on our journey home."

"Tell me again why you wanted to take the long way instead of the day-long hike." Stan requested.

"The part of the spaceship we need to get to can only be accessed through the longer hiking-trail. There are parts of the ship that are cut-off due to fallen debris, so we can't go into the spaceship the shorter way and go through it to the room we need. Besides, we were due for a nice hiking trip. McGucket and I had an enjoyable time when we took the trip. At least until we met the Gremloblin."

Dipper looked up at the night sky to find that it was a clear, star-filled view, one that you could only get in the heart of nature and as far away from the city as possible. He smiled, and then slid off of his log to laid his head on it and stretch his legs out on the grass. With his hands behind his head, he gazed up at the stars, content.

"You can see the actual Dipper tonight." The teenager commented.

Ford and Stan both looked up to find that it was true. Having done their fair share of stargazing while out at sea, they saw the constitution quickly, both the Big Dipper and the Little Dipper. The two old men smiled and Stan said,

"Yeah. We used to stargaze all the time back in Glass Shard. Ford loved the stars." The old conman patiently waited until Ford was sipping his can of soda, and then he added, "That would explain the tattoo."

Ford spat out his drink in shock and choked, coughing while Stan laughed and held his ribs.

Dipper lowered his head back down and asked with a tiny smile, "What are you talking about, Grunkle Stan?"

"Stanley," Ford growled dangerously as he wiped his cleft chin dry. "Not. One. More. Word."

"Aw, c'mon, Grunkle Ford." Dipper teased. "You can trust me, remember? Besides, who am I to judge about a stupid tattoo?" And he took off his beloved pinetree hat to showcase the birthmark on his forehead.

Ford looked at his grandnephew's birthmark as shadows danced from the fire his family circled. The old scientist sighed and decided that he could trust Dipper with one of his biggest regrets while traveling among the multiverse. Ford slipped off his trenchcoat and let it fall behind him, and then he pulled down on the neck of his sweater and tilted his head to the side to make his tattoo visible, but still cover a big scar Ford didn't want Dipper to see. Dipper looked at the tattoo, and then covered his mouth one-handed to keep from laughing.

The tattoo looked like something Mabel would draw or put in her sticker collection. It was a star with two arms that made thumbs-ups and a goofy smile on it's face, decorated with smaller stars and bubbled lettering that read "Hey now I'm an All Star!"

Ford released his turtleneck and waited for Dipper's response solemnly. Dipper, however, cleared his throat and croaked, "So… you don't just wear turtlenecks because old people get cold?"

Stan laughed while Ford slipped on his coat and blushed furiously. "There are many reasons for my personal wardrobe, Dipper, as there are for your own."

Dipper chuckled good-naturedly and tried to give the Author of the Journals an encouraging smile. "Hey, don't worry about it. We all do stupid stuff."

"How did you even get that, Sixer?" Stan asked.

Ford popped the collar up on his trenchcoat and said, "I got it with a tribe of octopus-armed warrior piglets."

"What, you mean piglets armed with octopuses for weapons, cuz that's actually kinda cool."

"No, Stanley, I mean they had octopus-tentacles for arms."

"Eh, my idea was cooler." Stan said with a shrug and sipped his Pitt soda.

Ford rolled his eyes and started to tell a quick story. "I had fought with the tribe in battle since they shared their food and water with me. They were quite friendly, unlike the gang of penguin-finned lizards we encountered. It is customary for their tribe to have a party after a battle is won in which they all get tattoos. I had... misjudged how… erm, intoxicated their drinks would make me, and when it was my turn to get a tattoo of my choosing, I had a certain song stuck in my head and sung it out loud, so the artist delivered my drunken request."

Dipper and Stan laughed at the story and Ford found it hard not to smile, so he allowed his lips to curl upward a little. It was nice to know that his family wouldn't judge him too harshly on the subject, but he was still incredibly embarrassed by his bad decision. Maybe not as much as his other decisions, but those couldn't be covered up by a maroon sweater. He sipped his soda again, but soon realized he had counted his blessings too soon.

"So should Hephzie get one that says 'Only shooting stars break the mold'?" Dipper asked, making Ford spit and choke again.

Stan laughed harder than he had all night and patted Dipper's shoulder. "Dipper, I am so proud of you!" He howled into the night and wiped a tear from under his eye.

Ford blushed furiously and paid close attention to the fire, pretending that he was debating if it needed more wood or not, but he couldn't help but at least enjoy seeing his brother and grandnephew laughing and smiling. Ford found their happiness to be contagious, and he smiled as he poked the orange flames with a twig.


	27. Hfitvib rm Hvxivg

"Any questions?"

"Yeah," Hephzie replied. "If I remove my leg n' used it to smack somebody, would I be kickin' 'em or slappin' 'em?"

Ford sighed with a smile and shook his head. "I wish you would take this seriously, Hephzibah."

"Humor's my defense mechanism."

"For what, my dear?"

Hephzie shrugged as Ford reread his blueprints. "Ya are 'bout to perform surgery on me."

Ford's small smile died and his shoulders slumped as he thought about what his girlfriend had said. It was true; Hephzie did have a right to be extremely nervous, but Ford knew her well enough to know that she would try to lie to them both that she was fine and not afraid.

"I am." Ford said and turned back to Hephzie, who was laying on the homemade hospital bed in the lab. They were in the room the portal used to be in, using a huge desk to hold everything Ford needed and having the door tightly shut. "And I'm sorry that I can't put you to sleep, but I need you to remain responsive."

Hephzie nodded, her smile also gone. "I understand."

"Remember," Ford said as he slipped on a pair of special six-fingered black-rubber gloves. "I'll be attaching each of your nerves to the prosthetic so you will have full control over your new leg. Even if I just barely touch your nerves, it will cause you a lot of pain. This may be the most painful thing you've ever done."

"Stanford, please," Hephzie said as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Ya've told me a thousand times. Besides, losin' my leg wasn't exactly painless."

"I know." Ford said and wheeled a little table full of tools over the bedside and pulled up a stool to sit on. "But this is different. This process will take much longer and you may even have flashbacks of the incident. I should also warn you that once I start, it's unsafe to stop until the job is done, so I can't guarantee you a break if it becomes too much."

"I thought ya wanted to do this." Hephzie growled. "Why are ya tryin' to talk me out of it?"

"I'm not." Ford said gravely. "I'm preparing you for the worst."

"Listen," Hephzie said, her voice flooded with determination. "Just do whatever ya gotta do. I'm useless to ya n' your family, but after this I won't be. So whatever ya gotta do to get me where I gotta be, whatever ya gotta do to protect your family n' defeat Bill, just do it."

Ford sighed as he looked down at the concrete floor. "I wish you wouldn't say that." He looked up at her and said, "You're not useless, Hephzibah. I love you."

Hephzie smiled and grabbed the hand closest to her, his left hand, and squeezed it. "I love ya, too, Stanford. Which is why I gotta do this. So I can protect the people I love."

Ford gave a short nod, kissed her lips in gratitude, and stood up to get to work. He decided that the best way to help Hephzie through this painful surgery was to keep her mind off of it by talking, so as he began to unwrap the bandage that had helped Hephzie's stump close, he asked, "Tell me again why you wished to keep this a secret?"

Hephzie shrugged. "Those kids have enough goin' on without worryin' 'bout me."

"You do know that they'll know what we've done once they see you've obtain a leg overnight." Ford pointed out dryly.

"Yes, but by then it'll be too late for 'em to worry 'bout it." Hephzie reasoned. "I don't want 'em beggin' to be here or for us to change our minds."

"Your actions aren't without reason," Ford said as he looked at the skin that was barely healed over the stump of Hephzie's leg. It was sensitive and thin, easily cut or scraped. "But take it from someone who has allowed their whole life to be engulfed by secrets. It never leads to anything good."

The procedure was long, vigorous, and bloody. Sweating through her black t-shirt and gray yoga-shorts, Hephzie gritted her teeth, making her jaw ache, and gripped the edge of the bed so tightly her knuckles turned white and her nails would leave permanent marks on the bed. The automail came in two parts, the actual leg itself and the bottom of the stump that would connect the automail to the rest of the body. This middle part was the most painful and the most important. If Ford messed this up, it could permanently damage Hephzie's nerves and cause unfixable pain, but once this part was over it would make the rest of the surgery go a lot smoother. As professional as Ford tried to be while operating on Hephzie, it was hard to work with unshaking hands when he saw how much pain Hephzie was in. She bit her lip to ease her jaw and nearly drew blood on her skin.

"Throw me a towel!" Hephzie growled.

Ford quickly grabbed a damp washcloth he had used to cool Hephzie down and tossed it to her, his eyes darting from her stump to her face. Hephzie caught the washcloth and jammed it into her mouth to bite on. Ford attached the first bolt to her flesh and she screamed into the cloth, the sound muffled as if she was screaming into a pillow. Hephzie cut herself off as quickly as possible and tried to breathe as regularly as she could with the cloth in her mouth. Ford tried to go slow to ease her pain, but that wouldn't do any good. His best chance was to do it quickly. He attached another bolt and Hephzie's scream was less strained as last time thanks to the shock being absent, but her eyes were screwed shut and her whole face sparkled with sweat.

"M's'rry." Hephzie moaned through the cloth.

Ford glanced up at her mournfully. "Don't you dare apologize, darling. I'm just so sorry that there's nothing I can do for your pain."

"D'nt g'il y'rself." Hephzie spoke and then decided to remove the washcloth from her mouth for a minute to talk clearly. As she looked at the teeth marks she had left on the fabric, she further explained herself. "I know how ya get, Fordsie, you'll blame yourself for this n' ya shouldn't. I knew what I…" Hephzie yelled out in pain and gagged herself with the cloth to muffle the noise.

Ford continued to work diligently and said, "You don't have to shield your screams from me."

"I'd 'eber forgi' m'self if 'e kids 'eard ees." Hephzie said through the cloth quickly before another yell of pain.

"Halfway there, halfway there, Hephzibah." Ford said as he worked, his gloved hands almost entirely covered in blood. He had to take a break to rinse his hands in the bowl of water and wipe them dry with a towel, but that's all he had time for. With clean gloved hands, he resumed his work quickly.

Hephzie gave another scream as Ford tightened one bolt a little too tight and she even banged a fist against the bed. It made no noise or did any damage, but it felt like that fist had pledged itself into Ford's gut. All of Hephzie's pain mirrored Ford's pain when he was being tortured by Bill, gritting his teeth to try to keep from screaming and letting Bill have the satisfaction of seeing him in pain, retching, wiggling, and pulling against the chains that bind him in mid-air, and the screams he muffled in the night when he bandaged himself up later that night from the third-degree burns he had received on his neck and wrists, another reason he wears his turtleneck. It pained Ford to see Hephzie in so much pain; she wasn't being tortured for information, she was still hurting immensely, and Ford was causing it. He felt like he might have gotten sick when he first had to work on Hephzie's naked flesh, but now his stomach was turning uncontrollably with the added guilt. He swallowed to try to control himself and he worked quickly to get it done.

Hephzie's yells became less and less with every push towards the finished product. Ford wasn't sure if it was because she was getting used to the pain or because her body ached and her throat hurt too much to scream as powerfully as she did the first time. Probably both. When Ford attached the last part of the metal attachment, he put his tools down on the tray and rinsed his gloved hands off again before peeling them off. "I'm finished. All there's left is to attach your leg. We can rest for a minute."

Hephzie laid on the inclined bed and breathed deeply. She removed the washcloth from her mouth and breathed in through her nose and out from her mouth to try to control her pain. She was suddenly very tired, but sleep was out of the question. Even if she was allowed to, she wasn't sure if she could. She ached too much to rest. Her eyes were closed and she didn't open them until she felt Ford place a hand on her right shoulder. She saw him handing her a glass of water and she took it.

"Rehydrate yourself."

"Thanks." Hephzie breathed and gulped the water down. With half of the glass gone, she leaned back and closed her eyes to regain control of herself. She soon felt a cold washcloth being used to wipe her face clean of sweat and she opened her eyes a little to see that Ford had grabbed a clean washcloth and was cooling her down.

"You're doing great, Hephzibah." He encouraged with an anemic smile, going down from her forehead to her cheeks and neck, slowly and gently. "You're brilliant. Soon you'll be stronger than before."

Hephzie allowed herself to chuckle weakly. "I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for ya."

Ford's smile died and he looked away shamefully. "No, you wouldn't be. If I had never summoned Bill in the first place or built that God-forsaken portal, none of this would have happened."

"Ford…"

"I know, I know." Ford said as he shook his head, trying to free his mind from these cursed thoughts. "I know you summoned him as well and I know blaming myself won't solve matters, but… but I can't shake away the unbearable truth that I had a hand in this."

"Stanford, I had this comin' for a long time." Hephzie sighed and tenderly placed her hand on what remained of her right leg, just below the hip. "You're right. I summoned Bill. I made a deal with Bill. I dared to perform human-transmutation, n' so I had to pay the toll. I made my bed, n' now I gotta lie in it."

"Hopefully you won't be lying anywhere for much longer." Ford decided to joke about.

Hephzie chuckled and admitted, "No, you're right. N', for what it's worth, I'm excited to carry 'round a part of ya with me."

Ford smiled and covered her right hand, the hand below her hip, and gently pick it up to kiss it. "Something to remember me by when the summer ends."

Hephzie hummed in agreement and rested again. It pained her a little to think of the end of the summer, to think of Ford leaving, again, but she pushed her feelings aside, tackling one problem at a time, and opened her eyes once more and said bravely, "Alright, Dumb-Dumb, let's finish this."

Ford nodded with a snarky smile, full of determination, and got up to go to the desk that laid Hephzie's new automail. It had taken a week to make it, and Ford may or may not have squeezed in some all-nighters to work on it, but now it was done. Ford had to pat himself on the back on this one. He had taken every measurement he could and worked so carefully that now this right leg looked almost identical to Hephzie's natural left leg. Ford picked it up from the table like picking up a newborn and then laid it just below Hephzie's stump and the new connection piece he had installed.

"This part shouldn't be as painful, but it will still hurt. I'm connecting the nerves to the automail through so that you can use it like any other limb. Grant it, you won't feel anything in it, but you should be able to use it just as well as your original limb. Think of it as having a leg that's fallen asleep forever." Ford elaborated.

"Does it come with the pins n' needles?" Hephzie chuckled.

Ford actually laughed a little and said, "No, you shouldn't feel any pins and needles. Maybe an occasional ache at your stump, but the more you exercise it the less it'll ache, and the pain should be fixed with some over-the-counter painkillers, much like a headache."

"Got it." Hephzie said and took in a deep breath. "Okay, do your worst!"

Ford slid the automail by her armored stump and slowly clicked it in place, like a puzzle piece. Hephzie braced for pain, but found that she felt nothing. Hephzie relaxed and watched as Ford made sure the automail was hooked up correctly, and then grabbed a wrench from the big desk against the cave-like walls.

"That wasn't the hard part." Ford explained and sat back down. "This is."

Hephzie took in another deep breath and then brace herself once again. Ford carefully slid the wrench to where the automail connected to Hephzie's nerve, or at least it would be when the procedure was done. Ford also braced himself, and began to connect the nerves to the automail. Hephzie growled as she bit her lip, but her pain didn't seem as bad as attaching the connector.

"Not half bad." Hephzie grunted as Ford worked.

"Unfortunetly, this is the painful part you'll have to repeat every time we take off your automail." Ford said as he worked and Hephzie bit her lip, her usual habit for trying to keep quiet. "Which shouldn't happen unless I have to make repairs."

"Will that happen often?" Hephzie asked as Ford connected her nerves.

"Not unless you somehow damage your automail," Ford answered. "But that shouldn't happen unless you do something stupid. I've made it incredibly durable and I worked hard to match it's weight to your left leg, so it wouldn't weigh you down. Now, it won't rust easily, but you should be sure to keep it dry."

"Don't fall asleep in the tub, got it." Hephzie said with a strained voice that gathered its strength as she talked.

"And you'll have to polish it to keep it flexible and healthy." Ford instructed. "And I want to check on it every once and awhile to make sure it's serving you correctly, and just because you have two legs now don't go thinking you can do whatever you please. The connector still needs major healing and you'll need to exercise and train to get used to your new leg."

"I know," Hephzie sighed and rolled her eyes. "Geez, do ya patronize the kids like this?"

Ford got a little revenge for that comment when Hephzie bit her lip again in pain. He tightened it one last time, and then wiped his forehead with his arm and sat back. "Alright, it's over. I'm all done."

Hephzie breathed in and drained her glass clean of water. "Great!" She tried to get up, but Ford stopped her.

"Hold on, Hephzibah, you need to rest. That connector is still extremely sensitive. If you try to test your automail out now you'll only end up causing excruciating pain and be unable to stand."

"Ugh! So, how long until I can stand on my own?" Hephzie groaned and put a hand to her forehead, filled to the brim with restlessness.

Ford chuckled light-heartedly and started to clean up his mess, first wrapping up all of the bloody tools in a towel to wash later. "In the morning. We'll start by having you re-learn how to walk, and once it becomes as natural as before, we can work to training in combat if you'd like."

"I've known how to fight since I was a little gurl n' I don't plan to stop now."

"Very well." Ford compromised, knowing that Stan probably felt the same way about his boxing skills. "For now, you should get some sleep."

Hephzie checked the watch Ford had given to her years ago for the holidays and read that it was 2:33 in the morning. She wasn't in active pain, but she ached and desperately needed sleep. Ford tidied up decently for the night, and then sat at the stool by her bedside and rested his head on his crossed arms, which he let rest on the bed.

"What are ya doin'?" Hephzie asked with a hint of amusement in her voice.

"Keeping you company so you're not alone down here." Ford said without opening his eyes.

Hephzie chuckled and gently took his left hand to untangle his arms and have him lift his head and look at her. "If you're gonna sleep down here, might as well be comfortable."

Ford sighed with a smile. He slipped off his trenchcoat and boots while Hephzie reclined the bed so she no longer sat up but laid down. Ford turned off all the lights until there was only a soft glow from the lantern on the big desk by the wall to replace the moon in the windowless room, and then he grabbed a spare blanket he had from one night when Stan draped it over Ford's shoulders when he fell asleep while working. Ford climbed up into bed and soon found Hephzie lying her head on his shoulder and resting under the blanket. The old scientist hummed in relief as he didn't know how tired he was until he finally rested. With the same arm her head was laying by, Ford kept Hephzie close, and barely missed what she whispered.

"Thanks."

Ford knew what she was thanking him for exactly. He kissed the top of her head and replied quietly, "You're welcome."

It didn't take long for the old couple to fall asleep, snoring their cares away until morning.


	28. 23-8-1-20 9-19 8-5 4-15-9-14-7

Imagine the look on the Pines' family's face when they saw Ford and Hephzie both walking into the kitchen and both walking on two legs. Hephzie walked with a bit of a limp, like her leg wouldn't bend or something, but she could walk without assistance nonetheless. Mabel choked on a Stan-cake and accidentally spat it but, which Everest was delighted about and licked it up off the floor.

"Hephzie!" Dipper gasped. "What… what happened?!"

"Did Grunkle Ford somehow help you regrow your leg?!" Mabel guessed.

"What, no!" Hephzie laughed. "I'm not a lizard."

"Then, how…" Dipper awed and trailed off.

"I've built her a special prosthetic, an automail leg, to replace the one she's lost." Ford explained as he sat down at the table.

"Wait, is that what the parts from the spaceship were for?!"

"Indeed it was."

Hephzie pulled up a chair, but rather than sit down, she put her right foot up on it and pulled back the leg of her jeans to show that the leg was indeed made of metal. "See?" She even knocked on the leg to show that it made a nose not at all different from the noise the plate in Ford's head made when he knocked on it or Hephzie smacked him over the head. "It's connected to my nerves so that I can use it like any other leg. I'm practically good as new!"

"Not exactly," Ford reminded her as Stan handed him a plate full of pancakes. "You still had a lot of healing to do."

"Oh, count your blessin's, Stanford." Hephzie teased and sat down after rolling her pant-leg back down and modestly hiding her automail.

"I think that's one of your best inventions yet, Grunkle Ford." Dipper complimented. "I mean… you'll be able to use it like any other leg, right? It's essentially a robotic prosthetic that might even work better than her old leg."

"Eh, there are positives and negatives." Ford explained as he rubbed his neck bashfully. "She should be able to use it like any other leg, but it's not quite the same as her left or the one she lost. She can't feel anything in that leg, it's still only metal. Think of it like when your leg falls asleep and you try to walk without any feeling in that limb. It's difficult, but it can be done with practice. With hard work, anything is possible."

"Agreed." Hephzie said and thanked Stan for the plate of pancakes he gave her before continuing. "Although, I gotta side with Dipper on this one. This is probably your best invention yet."

"Definitely beats those freaky ties you made." Stan growled as he plated the last pancakes onto a plate for himself and turned off the stove.

"Ties?" Hephzie asked with a raised eyebrow and a smile.

Stan grinned maliciously and was excited to tattle on his brother to his girlfriend.

Hephzibah Cece didn't like to be cliche. Even as a child, she refused to cry because "every other girl cries, but not me!" She didn't wear skirts or dresses (aside from church) until high-school because she didn't want to do anything stereotypical of girls. She liked to cuss, wear pants, ride a motorcycle, and drink an occasional beer if given the chance. Hephzie made it hard to categorize her or fit her into one mold, and that was the way she was. That may or may not be why she never indulged herself to learn how to knit or crochet or why she never played bingo or why she never complained about her aching back.

But when Mabel offered to teach her how to knit to give the restless old woman something to do and to create some bonding moments between the ladies, Hephzie couldn't refuse. Somewhat stuck in bed while she recovered from her surgery, she took to reading, doodling in her little journal, and receiving knitting lessons from Mabel. The young brunette proved to be an excellent teacher, and even if Hephzie only knew a basic stitch, she was happy to click her needles away to make a scarf while Mabel knitted a new sweater and the two swapped stories.

Hephzie wasn't entirely bed-bounded. She did her exercises every morning until lunch and made herself join the Pines family at the table for meals; she refused to let anyone bring her a tray, claiming it was unnecessary, but truth be told she enjoyed sitting at the table and eating with such good company. Ford constantly coached her, monitoring how her body was adjusting to her new automail leg and making sure she didn't push herself too far. At times, it was annoying to have the old man pester her all day and night, but it was comforting and a friendly reminder of just how much he cared.

And so, about a week after her surgery, she was sitting in Ford's room, knitting a light-brown scarf to get some practice in, her legs laid out in front of her and her back against an arm, facing the door, when Ford cracked the door open after a quick knock to alert Hephzie of his presence.

"Hephzibah," He said and waited for Hephzie to look up from her knitting and smile at him. "How are you feeling?"

"For the millionth time, honey, m'fine." Hephzie said in a slightly exasperated voice. "What's up?"

Ford opened the door wider and revealed that McGucket was standing next to him, his hat in his hands politely and his eyes full of worry behind his special glasses, but he smiled nonetheless.

"Fiddleford!" Hephzie gasped happily, ignoring the bit of guilt she felt in her gut for not contacting him sooner since she last saw him. She sat her scarf aside and slid her legs off the couch, getting ready to stand, but the old man hurried in and said,

"No, no, Hephzibah! Stay seated!"

Hephzie rolled her eyes and scolded, "What did ya tell him, Fordsie?"

"He told me how ya got hurt awful bad n' lost your leg n' got a new rob't one." McGucket answered for the scientist and held out his arms. "Just let me come t'ya." Hephzie smiled and opened her arms, happy to get a hug from her old friend. McGucket then sat at the desk chair and Ford sat next to Hephzie on the couch. "How are ya holdin' up?" The hillbilly asked gently.

"I'm doin' great, actually." Hephzie answered. "I dunno why I ever turned down Ford's offer. I haven't felt this great in a long time!"

"You see, I told you I had the whole situation under control." Ford reminded her and kissed her cheek.

"I never said ya didn't." Hephzie pointed out and turned her attention back to McGucket. "So what brings ya in? Just missed us?"

"As much as I did, old friend," He answered. "I actually came to invite y'all t'a jamboree I'm throwin' next Friday t'replace the snobby rich-folk party the Northwests used t'throw every year."

"Wait, really?" Ford asked, vaguely remembering the rich family hosting some sort of party he had no interest in whatsoever.

"Well, yeah!" McGucket answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Even if I don't have t'worry 'bout bein' haunted by ghosts if I don't, me n' Tate thought it'd be fun! They'll be music n' food n' the whole town's invited!"

"That does sound like fun!" Hephzie agreed.

"So y'all be there?"

"Count on it!"

"Well give me wings n' call me an eagle!" McGucket said happily as he slapped his knee. "This'll be the best jamboree t'hit Gravity Falls since the 60s!"

McGucket stayed and chatted for a bit until it was time to head back to the mansion for dinner. Once he was leaving, Hephzie and Ford walked him out and waved goodbye as he started into the woods.

Standing on the porch, Ford gave his love interest a careful look and asked, "Are you sure you'll be up to a party?"

Hephzie raised a brow at him. "Please, I'd never miss a dance!"

"Yes, but you're not completely healed yet."

"I've got a week!"

"Hephzibah…"

"Stanford." She said firmly and gave him a look, daring him to go on if he wanted to be the next person to lose a limb.

Ford put his hands up in surrender and waited to sigh to himself until Hephzie went back inside to keep working on her scarf.

Apparently Hephzie wasn't the only one excited about the replacement for the Northwest family's annul High-Society Shindig Ball Soiree. Most people weren't disappointed to see the party go in exchange for McGuckets' Big Hootenanny, giving the McGucket Hootenanny Hut its name. The entire town was invited and posters were up everywhere. Rumors were flying around more common than the flying eyeballs and they ranged everywhere to there being peacocks at the party to the idea that Tate hired The Handlebar Bros to play at the party. Everyone, from Lazy Susan to the security guard of the Fractured Skull to Mr. Poolcheck to the Gleeful family was going to the jamboree.

Hephzie was willing to rest even more now that she had a promise of a party waiting for her. The day before the party Ford made her do several exercises to test her strength and checked her connector to the automail, where his concern mostly laid, but he found no issue and declared that Hephzie was fully healed. Ford hadn't seen her smile that big or be that excited in a long time, and he laughed when she jumped into his arms and made him fall back on the grass they stood on.

That Saturday evening came and everyone showed up to the McGucket Hootenanny Hut with their expectations not only met, but exceeded. Unlike when the Northwest family had their party for millionaires and billionaires in to which the road was crowded with spectators, the roads were filled with parked cars and all of the guests happily socialized either outside and behind the open gates or inside the manor.

No one really dressed formally, but cleaned up well for a fun party. Stan and Mabel wore the outfits they wore for the party where Mabel met Candy and Grenda last summer, Ford wore a red dress-shirt with an old brown sweater-vest under his trenchcoat, but Dipper wore his usual attire. Hephzie wore jeans and a red blouse with her usual high-heeled black boots, her dreadlocks tied up by a red bandanna instead of a black scrunchie. The five walked in to find an enjoyable scene. Manley Dan was dancing to the music (which was definitely being provided by The Handlebar Bros) while his sons watched with cringes on their faces. Rosanna and Reginald were swinging each other around without a care in the world. Blubs and Durland were seeing who could drink the most apple cider. Even Toby Determined was munching on a fried chicken leg like a feline and chatting with Lazy Susan. McGucket was chatting with Bud Gleeful when he saw his friends arrive out of the corner of his eye and he excused himself to greet them.

"Welcome, fellers!"

"Whoa, this party is amazing, McGucket!" Dipper awed.

"I'll say!" Mabel agreed. "This is way better than that old fancy party!"

"Well, thank ya kindly, youn'ins." McGucket thanked and brought them both into a quick bone-crushing hug. When he let go he averted his attention to Hephzie and grinned. "Well, look at ya! Standin' just fine n' dandy, I see!"

"Completely healed!" Hephzie said proudly.

"I'm so happy to hear that!" McGucket said before they hugged. "Oh! That reminds me… Tater! Tater, look who showed up!"

Tate emerged from the crowd and smiled at seeing Hephzie.

She grinned and ran to him. "Sweet Lord, Tate! It's so good to see ya!"

"It's great to see you, too!" Tate replied and allowed the woman to hug him briefly.

Ford stepped up and stared at the grown man before him, who wore a white dress-shirt under suspenders and brown pants. "Holy Moses, Tater McGucket." Ford sighed in amazement. Tate was another testament to how much time had passed while Ford was gone from this dimension. Tate was no longer a four-year-old boy he rarely saw; he was a grown man in his mid-thirties, much like how Manly Dan was no longer called Boyish Dan and Teo Ramirez was now known as Soos' Abuelita.

Tate gave a polite smile and held out his hand to his father's friend and whom, at one point, Tate had been instructed to call Uncle Ford. "It's good to see you again, Stanford."

Ford chuckled and shook his hand, unoffended that he had been demoted back to "Stanford"; he guessed he would have to earn the right to be called "Uncle Ford" again, much like how he somewhat had to earn the title "Grunkle" from Dipper and Mabel when he was first getting to know them. "I'm surprised you remember me."

Tate shook his hand side-to-side in a "eh" manner. "Vaguely. Still, good to see you back!"

"It's nice to see you, too. Your father tells me you started your own business. Very impressive."

Ford and Tate chatted on as the party kept going strong. Mabel was soon attacked with love by Candy and Grenda and danced with them. Dipper and Wendy joked around with Lee, Nate, and Thompson and poked fun at Robbie and Tambry, who were the only ones hugging the wall and each other. Stan mostly tried to dodge Lazy Susan and any guys he pissed off at the lodge over the years. He eventually socialized with McGucket and talked with him.

An hour or so into the happy chaos and Ford found his eyes drawn to the dancefloor, where Hephzie and Mabel danced happily together, the taller twirling the smaller of the two. Hephzie and Mabel both laughed over each other's joy and Ford smiled as he clapped along with the music and watched his girls dance. Also occupying the dancefloor, Wendy danced with Lee and Thompson was doing a jig while Tambry recorded him with her phone, promising humiliation. When the song ended, applause erupted for the musicians and Hephzie kissed the back of Mabel's hand like a prince to a princess, making her giggle and blush.

Hephzie then turned to Ford and held out her hand for him. "C'mon, Ford, your turn."

Ford's smile dropped as fear swept over him. "Wh-What?"

"C'mon, dance with me." Hephzie requested and grabbed his hand.

"Hephzie! Hephzibah, wait!" Ford pleaded as she dragged him out towards her. "I… I can't dance. You know that."

"If I can walk, ya can dance, sweetheart." Hephzie said firmly and placed a hand on his shoulder. "N' your gonna have to put your hand on my waist."

Ford did as he was told for some odd reason and they held their free hands together. Ford swallowed nervously, making his Adam's Apple bobble, and Hephzie chuckle good-naturally at him.

"Just go with it. Don't think."

"That's asking a lot."

Hephzie started to lead them into a dance most couples were doing, circling and weaving their way around the crowd and bouncing slightly, like they had springs attached to the bottom of their shoes.

Ford found himself laughing nervously as they went faster than he preferred. "No, wait, Hephzibah! Haha!"

At one point, Hephzie let him go and put her hands on her hips. She then jigged to the music, tapping her heels and toes perfectly to the beat and actually dancing very well. Ford smiled, seeing what she was challenging him to, and he threw his trenchcoat to Mabel, who was watching them dance happily. Ford pocketed his hands and jigged as well, actually doing better at it than he thought he would, clicking the heels of his boots against the hardwood. Others were dancing however they pleased and laughter mixed in with the folk music perfectly. Hephzie and Ford both danced quicker when the tempo of the music picked up, and soon the ditched the jigging and locked arms to dance in a circle, swinging their partner 'round and 'round and not giving a single care how foolish they looked.

At the climax of the song, just before it ended, Ford became bold and swept Hephzie off of her feet bridal-style and spun them around before landing on one knee and was rewarded with a kiss on the cheek. The party animals of Gravity Falls all cheered loudly for The Handlebar Bros and Hephzie and Ford both caught their breath.

"I think I'm getting too old for this." Ford shared as he gently put Hephzie down on her feet.

"I thought I'd die before I'd ever get to dance with ya 'gain." Hephzie breathed as she wiped her forehead dry of sweat.

"No need for drastic measures." Ford chuckled as he managed to push that guilty feeling away.

"For ya, Stanford, anythang." Hephzie said, and kissed one of Ford's hands, bringing it up to her lips with sparkling eyes.

Ford couldn't help but smile at her, and when the music moved onward, they held each other and did a nice two-step together in the midst of the dancing crowd.

"Do ya remember the last time we danced like this?"

"You were my plus one at Fiddleford's wedding. I still don't know what made me do it, but you looked so down, sitting alone with your champagne, that I decided that I owed it to you to try to make you feel a little better, so I offered to dance with you."

Hephzie hummed in agreement. "I was just havin' a rough time. Do ya remember Fidd's great-aunt? She was extremely rude to me, surprised I could even read, let alone go to college, n' she first thought I was only there to serve drinks."

"I didn't know that. I'm sorry."

"It was a long time ago. It didn't really bother me, but everybody knew everybody n' I felt outta place. Normally I could make new friends, but everyone was too busy socializin' with the loved ones they already had n' ya n' Fidds were too busy to entertain me, which I didn't want ya to, anyway, so I just sat n' watch people dance." Hephzie swallowed and chuckled to herself. "I don't know if ya know this, but I had liked ya back then, so internally I was freakin' out when ya asked me to dance."

Ford smiled. "Really? When… when did you start to have feelings for me?"

Hephzie hummed in thought as they danced slowly. "I can't pinpoint a specific moment. I just knew that ya made me happy n' that I wanted to make ya happy. Ya seemed to want me 'round, n' I was grateful for that n' didn't wanna ruin anythang. Ya know, if ya try to make somethang more than it is, ya might break it."

Ford nodded slowly, understanding; he had had the same line of thinking when he realized he liked Hephzie in a more romantic way.

"But then, one night at dinner, Grandma was lookin' at me kinda funny, so asked her what, n' she said that I was in love."

Ford snorted, remembering pleasant memories of Grandma Cece. In her weaken mindstate, she was blunt, honest, and often delusional, but she was often smarter than people wrote her off for.

"Yeah, I know. I choked on my water n' gently told Grandma I wasn't, but she said I was. Grandpa was mad, but tried to hide it. He asked how she knew, n' Grandma said I had the same twinkle in my eye Grandpa had when he asked Grandma to marry him." Hephzie laughed quietly. "I remember how hot my face felt. I tried to convince Grandma that she was misunderstood, but I didn't have the heart to tell her that she was wrong or crazy, I could never do that, so I shrugged n' let it go."

"I have a specific moment when I knew I was starting to fall for you." Ford shared.

Hephzie bit her lip to try to keep from smiling like an idiot. "Ya do?"

Ford nodded. "Do you remember when I went out with that siren?"

Hephzie laughed and quickly held her breath to stifle it. "Ya were such an adorable blushy nerd 'round her. I liked ya back then, but she made ya smile, so when ya asked for my help I gave it."

"Well, you were much cleverer than me. You saw right past her and I remember how magnetized I was when you pulled me away from the bubbling water and attacked Silika. Your fighting skills have always impressed me, but then you were pulled in and you didn't rise for a long time. I was afraid you had drowned, but just before I was going to jump in after you, you came out of the water and laid on the shore for oxygen. I sat by you until you regained your strength and we started to walk towards home. What intrigued me was what you said on the way home. I was so ashamed and a little hurt that the siren had lied to me and nearly fed me to the giant head under the lake, but you that Silika was a fool and that any woman would be lucky to have me. I snorted, but you snapped and said that you thought I was smart, kind, brave, and a little handsome, too. You said I deserved way better than some devilish siren, but what caught my attention was what you concluded with: 'I don't care what anyone else thinks, you're a good man, Stanford. And any woman that in honored to call you her own is blessed beyond what words can express.'"

"I was so afraid that I had given myself away n' that ya knew I liked ya then." Hephzie admitted.

"No, I was clueless." Ford chuckled. "But you reminded of what I used to tell Stanley when we were kids. Everyone thought he was a bad person, but I always told him that he was a good person. It hurt a little, but that caught my attention. I started to think of you differently. I knew you liked me in that way, too, when you gave up your motorcycle to save my life, when that Gremloblin was after us and you drove your motorcycle towards the cliff and then shoved us off at the last second so the beast and the bike would fall off the cliff. I felt so guilty as we stood there, watching the smoke rise from the bike, and I tried to apologize because I knew how much you liked your bike, but you said 'I care about you more' and blushed, so I knew you liked me back, but I didn't have the courage to do anything about it or tell you that I like you that way until I asked you out to dinner."

Hephzie laid her head on Ford's shoulder and hummed peacefully. "I'm glad ya did. I love you."

Ford smiled and closed his eyes as he swayed with her to the music. "I love you, too."

Dipper had caught his great-uncle dancing with his girlfriend and the teenager had smiled. While Wendy was chatting with Tambry, Dipper caught sight of the doors opening and closing quickly. Dipper craned his neck to see who had joined the party a little late and he grinned amusingly at seeing Pacifica entering the party uncertainty, like she wasn't sure if she belonged here. She didn't wear a green or purple ballroom dress, but she did wear a simply light-pink dress with white gloves and her usual diamond earrings. A little overly dressed, but then again Mabel wore the loudest outfit without caring if it was appropriate or not.

Dipper decided to go up to Pacifica and pick on her a little bit. He had his arms crossed over his chest and he gave her a cocky smile. "Well, well, Ms. Northwest, are you on the guest list? Or are you here to take care of our… situation in the problem room?"

Pacifica turned and seemed shocked to be faced with Dipper, but then scowled and crossed her arms, too. "Oh, please. Don't you have anything better to do than to steal other people's lines?"

Dipper chuckled and dropped his arms, pocketing his hands in his vest. "Good to see you made it, Pacifica. Are your parents here, too?"

Pacifica snorted and looked to the side. "No, they'd rather drop dead than be seen at a party that they should be hosting. They forbade me from going, so I had to wait until I could pretend to go to bed early and sneak out the window."

"Hey, a little teenage-rebellion is good for you." Dipper said and lightly elbowed her ribs.

Pacifica smiled a little and relaxed her stance. "Heh, yeah, I guess."

"Ms. Pacifica!" McGucket walked up to her and even tipped his scarecrow-hat to her. "It's a pleasure t'have ya, ma'am! Are ya hungry? Ya look so thin! Come, eat somethang!" And soon the blonde teenager was dragged to the buffet by the kitchen to be fed, leaving Dipper to snicker at her.

Dipper then mingled for a bit, not nearly as much as Mabel, but he floated among the crowd and enjoyed chatting and drinking apple cider as he did so, talking with Gideon about school, teasing Mabel about a funny dance she was doing with Grunkle Stan, and avoiding Mr. Poolcheck's death glare. Dipper caught sight of Pacifica eating a cookie and watching the party as she leaned against the wall, and Dipper joined her; he could tell by the look on her face that she was torn, unsure if she wanted to be alone or have a friend. Dipper decided to try to help her figure that out.

"Guess it's kinda weird being back here, huh?" Dipper asked.

Pacifica shrugged. "Sort of. I've been here a few times to help McGucket when he got lost, remember?"

Dipper laughed, remembering what Pacifica had texted her friends, and his laughter made Pacifica a little better, so she went on.

"I mean, this is my childhood home, Dipper. I've lived here since I was born. My new home's fine or whatever, I guess. It just feels weird being here because… I'm not sure what I'm actually doing here."

Dipper looked out at the crowd to ease any worry of being watched and said, "Well, it's a party. I'd assume you're here to have a good time."

"That's what I thought, too." Pacifica said. "I thought, 'Hey, the Diner's closed for tonight, you should get out of the house and have some fun!' I thought, 'Who cares if you're a Northwest and people might think you only came to ruin the party?' I thought that maybe I could fit in and just be myself, like you guys do all the time, but I guess I was wrong." And she bit her cookie bitterly and gagged. "Ugh! Raisins?! I thought it was chocolate chip!" And she threw it into a nearby plant.

Dipper felt a little sympathetic for Pacifica and her insecurities and said, "Look, Pacifica, if there's one problem you have, it's that you think way too much about what other people think. You're getting better, but I guarantee that you are not on everyone's mind tonight. If you came here to have fun, then have fun! Don't let what other people may or may not be thinking stop you, and don't let your stupid parents stop you, either. Just… come on! Let's have some fun!" And Dipper held out his hand to her.

Pacifica looked at his hand and then up at him before giving a crooked smile. "So, you finally got the guts to ask a girl out, huh?"

Dipper's face turned red and he withdrew his hand. "What?! I'm not asking you out! I'm offering to dance with a friend!"

Pacifica laughed and Dipper relaxed, seeing that she had been joking this whole time. Pacifica grabbed his wrist and said, "Okay, you dorky ghostharasser! Let's have some fun!"

Dipper ran out to the dancefloor with her and the two danced, having Dipper occasionally hold Pacifica and his own hand over her head and spinning her and the two mockingly bowing each other or doing a stupid tango or a clumsy waltz, anything that looked silly and made them laugh. Mabel saw this when tap-dancing with Stan and she tapped his shoulder and got him to see what his great-nephew was up to.

The alpha twins winked at each other and silently made a pact to never let Dipper let this down.


	29. Ollp Lfg Uli Gsv Tlowvm Xrgb

Mabel sat up in bed too quickly. She nearly fell back down because she was so dizzy, but then a wave of nausea overcame her. She threw the sweat-soaked blankets off of her, hurried quietly out of the room, sped down the stairs, and managed to quietly close the bathroom door before launching herself to the toilet and emptying her stomach of its contexts.

This was getting to be too much. Mabel was tired of being tired and tired of not sleeping well, but she felt like there was nothing she could do about it. She felt a million emotions at once and had a million things swirling in her head at once. It was just too much!

When Mabel was done, she lifted her head and put a hand to her forehead. It felt like she had another heartbeat up there. She flushed the toilet and stood up on wobbly knees. She rinsed her mouth off in the sink and even splashed some water on her sweaty face. She felt a little better, having the water cool her down and clean her up a bit, but she was still exhausted. Mabel dried her hands and face off with a towel and took a minute to bury her face into the fabric and breathe in it's scent deeply. It smelled of pine needles and old men. It smelled like home. It calmed her down.

Mabel stood up straight and hung the towel back up. She had no idea what time it was, but it was still dark outside and she had no intention of getting more sleep. Maybe she could just sit in the living room, watch TV, and knit. Yeah, that sounded good. Something mindless and tedious to distract her. Mabel left the bathroom to do so when she paused in the hall. At the same time, Hephzie was coming in from the back door. Hephzie moved quietly and slowly so she wouldn't wake anyone in the house, but when she saw Mabel she froze with her hand on the close-door's knob.

"Mabel," Hephzie breathed. "What are ya doin' up, sweetheart?"

Mabel held her arm nervously and rubbed it. "I… uh, it's nothing. Why are you up so late?"

"Oh, I was just enjoying the cool night air. It's beautiful outside."

Mabel nodded quietly. She was debating on what she should tell Hephzie. She had confided in her before and Hephzie had proven to be very trustworthy, but Mabel felt like a broken record at this point. Hephzie already knew how she felt, Mabel just didn't know what to do about it.

Hephzie saw how distraught the brunette was and she took pity on her. The friendship she had made with Mabel via fighting-lessons and knitting-lessons had grown stronger and Hephzie was happy to be there for Mabel. With a strong urge to help the poor girl, Hephzie got on one knee in front of her to be eye-level and said, "Mabel, if somethang's botherin' ya, ya… ya can always talk to me 'bout it. Or your brother. Or your Grunkles. I know it's hard to see it now, but ya got a lot of people here who love ya n' wanna be there for ya."

Mabel shook her head and gave a half-convincing smile to her friend. "No, I'm okay. Do you wanna play poker with me?"

Hephzie smiled and admitted defeat. If that's what Mabel wanted, how could Hephzie deny her? She did have fun playing with her and Stan when she first moved into the shack. "Alright, but if I catch ya cheatin', I'll tell your Grunkle Ford n' make him tickle ya to death!"

"Whaaaaat?" Mabel giggled. "That's impossible! No one can catch me cheating!"

"Uh, huh, sure." Hephzie teased, ruffled her brown hair, and led the way into the living room.

Mabel tried to walk beside Hephzie but had to be behind her due to how narrow the hall was. The teenager's arm barely grazed a snowglobe of the Mystery Shack that stood on the edge of a little table and the snowglobe fell and shattered.

Hephzie turned and winced with a smile. "Looks like ya owe Stan two-hundred bucks." She joked and got on her knees as the goo started to spread all over the wood. "Ya better stay back, we don't want ya to get cut. Can ya get me a rag to…" Hephzie looked up at Mabel and was concerned with what she saw.

Mabel hadn't moved an inch since the snowglobe compacted with the hardwood floor. Her eyes were wide and small, her mouth slightly open, as the memory of the rift breaking played before her eyes as clearly as if it was happening all over again. Mabel had thought that it was a weird alien snowglobe Ford had collected while out on the multiverse or something. Blendin, someone she trusted, had told her that it was something small and that Ford would never even notice that it was missing, a small price to pay for taking her brother away from her. Mabel suddenly saw the rift breaking, heard Bill's laugh, and saw his eyes in his friend's face. She was too preoccupied with the flashbacks to notice her heavy breathing or Hephzie calling her name.

"Mabel? Mabel!" Hephzie said, trying to keep her voice low so the whole house wouldn't be alerted but also trying to be loud enough to snap Mabel out of it. She gently grabbed Mabel by the shoulders and shook her a little. "Mabel, sweetheart, can ya hear me?"

"LET GO!" Mabel yelled and smacked Hephzie's hands off of her. Hephzie held her hands up in surrender as the brunette blinked and seemed to be coming back. She slowly realized what had happened and Mabel's breathing sped up even more as she began to tremble. "I'm… I'm so sorry, I…"

"Mabel, it's okay." Hephzie said and put her hands down, but not back up on Mabel. "It's alright, just breathe in deeply n' try…"

Stan barged into the hall with a bat in his hands, only hearing his niece yell and glass breaking, thinking someone was attacking his pumpkin. "WHO IS IT?!"

"Whoa! Stan, it's okay! Mabel…"

Dipper came running down the stairs. At the same time, Ford came from the hall, too. "What's going on?" Dipper asked. "Is it the gnomes again?"

"Is everyone okay?" Ford asked.

"Alright, enough!" Hephzie said firmly, detecting Mabel's breathing and how it was picking up the pace, so she stood by Mabel and put a kind hand on her shoulder to try to calm her down subtly. "Everythang's fine, Mabel just accidentally broke a snowglobe n' I startled her by accident."

Stan lowered his bat and leaned against it like his eight-ball cane. "Oh, well, that's much better than some goons breaking into the house, but seriously, pumpkin, you're gonna have to work double-time at the gift shop to make up for this." Stan said, trying to make a joke out of it, but Mabel was too busy trying to breathe normally to catch the laughter in his voice.

"Eh, I wouldn't take it so hard, Grunkle Stan." Dipper chuckled, joining in. "She's always been pretty careless. How about we make her do an apology dance and call it even?"

"I like the way you think, kid! I'll get the camera in the morning and have lyrics ready by then."

"Guys…"

Ford got on his knees in front of the broken snowglobe and tried to sweep up some of the broken glass into his hand safely. "Well, looking at it won't get it cleaned up. Dipper, will you get me a rag and some paper towels?"

"Sure." And the teenager went off to the kitchen for what he needed.

"Really, Mabel, you should be more careful. You could have gotten yourself hurt, or… arg! Hot Belgian Waffles!" Ford held his hand by the wrist and winced as a small splinter of glass got caught in his skin.

"Ha! See, pumpkin? You're just like Ford here, ya don't know how to stay outta trouble." Stan teased and punched Ford's shoulder.

Ford gently pulled the splinter out and set it in a big piece of glass that was still somewhat bowl-shaped; the cut hadn't even drawn blood it was so small. "No harm done, see?" And Ford showed his hands, but he did so in a way that scaringly reminded Mabel of when he was turned into a golden statue and used as a back-scratcher for Bill.

Mabel's breathing increased dramatically and Hephzie was starting to get worried about her. "Maybe we should just…"

Dipper came back. "Here you go, Grunkle Ford."

"Thanks, Dipper. Let's get this mess cleaned up."

"Eh, just make Little Miss Chaos over here do it."

"No, Stanley, the glass…"

"Kidding, Sixer, just kidding."

"Guys…"

"Well, I'm too awake to go back to bed." Stan stated and popped his fingers. "Anyone wanna play poker?"

"Sure, I'll play!" Dipper volunteered. "Wanna play, sis? Mabel?"

Dipper looked at his twin sister and finally noticed her rapid breathing and shaking. If she wasn't careful, she would have a panic attack. The great-uncles also looked at her and were immediately concerned. Hephzie got on one knee again and put both hands on Mabel's shoulders to try to help her remember that she wasn't alone.

"Mabel, Mabel Pines, it's okay. I promise, it's alright." Hephzie coached. "Just take in a deep breath, hold it, n' then let go. That's it, that's it. Again. In, hold, n' let go."

"I'm sorry…" Mabel panted as she did as she was told.

"Hey, it's okay. It was an accident."

"It's NOT okay!" Mabel yelled and took a step back, away from Hephzie and her family. "It'll NEVER be okay! It was all my fault!"

"Well, maybe if ya talk 'bout how ya feel…" Hephzie suggested gently as she stood up.

"NO! I CAN'T!" Mabel screamed, and she turned around, threw the door open, and ran into the night.

"Mabel!" Dipper called. "Mabel, come back!" But she didn't.

"What's wrong with her?" Stan asked, concerned for his niece but also lost in the dark. "It was just a stupid snowglobe."

"Ya IDIOTS!" Hephzie lost her temper; she smacked all three of the boys over the top of their heads and all three of them yelled out in frustration and pain and rubbed the top of their heads. "Ya have no IDEA how Mabel feels!" Hephzie scolded. "She doesn't blame herself for a stupid piece of merchandise! She blames herself for WEIRDMAGEDDON!"

Dipper, Stan and Ford all felt a wave of shame and guilt spill over them like a Weirdness Wave. They all had a small part to play for Weirdmageddon to happen and had all suffered nightmares from the traumatizing event. While the two pairs of twins were separated, they had stayed in contact with video-chats and text messages and emails. They heard from each other at least three times a day, and sometimes in the middle of the night just to confirm that everyone was alive and okay. Ford always had sleeping problems and Stan and Dipper were mostly over the whole incident, but clearly Mabel was still suffering and had kept it to herself.

"Wh-What?" Dipper muttered. "But… but it wasn't her fault."

"Well, she THINKS it's her fault!" Hephzie yelled. "N' she think y'all blame her for what happened!"

"Of course we don't." Ford said as he stood up and forgot the mess he had been attempting to clean. "We… how do you know all of this?"

"Cuz she told me." Hephzie explained more calmly. "While I've been giving her private fighting-lessons n' she's been teachin' me how to knit, she told me what happened n' told me that she thought it was all her fault n' that y'all thought the same thang!"

 _"It's my fault that Bill got the rift, it's my fault the world nearly needed, it's my fault we had to destroy the shack, it's my fault that Stan lost his memory, it's my fault Dipper has nightmares… how can they ever forgive me?"_

 _Hephzie petted Mabel's hair as the girl clung to the old lady one night on the porch. "Those boys love ya, Mabel. I'm sure they've already forgiven ya. Just ask n' you'll see for yourself."_

 _"No, I… I can't. I'm scared of what they'll say."_

"N' then… all Mabel's ever done is try to make up for it!" Hephzie yelled at the Pines men before her. "She refused to give up on Stan, she lied n' pretended she was fine so y'all could focus on yourselves, she tries so hard to make everyone else smile even when she doesn't want to, she begged me to give her fightin' lessons, she works so hard every day to try to make thangs right, but at the end of it all she feels like there's nothin' she can ever do to make it right!"

"But," Dipper stuttered, shocked that he had been so clueless. Mabel was his twin, his big sister by three minutes, his better half; he thought he knew Mabel like the back of his hand, but clearly he didn't. "But that's not true. It wasn't her fault."

"You'll find that what really happened doesn't matter." Hephzie said in a calmer tone. "At least, it doesn't matter as much as how it makes people feel." The old alchemist then pointed to the door. "Now, get out there right now n' talk to her."

Stan and Dipper looked down at the floor in shame as they tried to think of what to say to Mabel. Ford swept up some more glass slowly into the rag carefully, Hephzie's speech still sinking in. Maybe she was right. Maybe it didn't matter what we did or what we meant by our actions; what mattered was how our actions make people feel. Maybe if people stopped to consider that more, the world would be a little bit better of a place.

"NOW!" Hephzie scolded.

Dipper jumped and ran out the door. Once he was alone in the cool summer air, he looked around for any sign of Mabel. He saw how the gap between the couch and the porch had gotten a little bit bigger, and he peeked behind the old couch.

"Uh, oh." He muttered to himself when he saw his twin sister; Mabel was in Sweater Town, holding her knees with her face hidden in her sweater and curled inward on herself. Dipper hesitated, but then decided to try to take a Mabel-like approach to the situation and solve the problem with hugs. Dipper got on the dirty wooden-floor of the porch and crawled into the gap to be next to Mabel. He held his knees and barely touched her so she knew she wasn't alone but could have her privacy if she wanted. "Mabel?" Dipper called quietly.

"Sweater Town has gone to straight-voicemail." Mabel mumbled. "Please leave a message after the beep and leave. Beep."

Dipper thought for a moment of what to say before leaving his voicemail. Dipper was ashamed that he had never caught how much Mabel blamed herself, how much she was going through, and how much she was hurting. Then again, he had never suspected Stan of hiding a secret lab in the basement and having a portal to another dimension so he could bring back his long-lost brother. Dipper had learned by now that if people really want to keep a secret, they can do a pretty good job of hiding it. Besides, Dipper didn't have time to feel guilty; he had to help his sister. If Dipper could somehow break Mabel out of Bill's trance and get her to leave Mabelland, than surely he can break Mabel out of this funk. Or at least help her break out of it herself.

"Hey Mabel. It's me, Dipper." He said, like he was leaving a real voicemail. "I just wanna say… I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you felt like you couldn't talk to me about this, but… I want you to know that I don't blame you. I'm also sorry that I kept the rift hidden from you. When Ford told me about it he told me not to tell anyone, but I should have told you, anyway. You've always proved that I can trust you. You're one of the best people I've ever known, and definitely the most caring, lovable, and joyous person I've ever met. You're my sister, and I… I wanna be there for you. I love you like crazy, and if it wasn't for you, I would've lost everything."

"If it wasn't for me, you'd probably be as smart as Grunkle Ford by now and be applying for colleges or something." Mabel mumbled from Sweater Town.

"Look, let's be honest," Dipper said with a small smile on his face. "Ford might have twelve PhDs, but he's an idiot. He thought he'd be happier cooped up in a basement with a hormonal teenager than out sailing with his twin. And I know for a fact that I'm way happier when I'm with you than without."

Mabel smiled a little at Dipper's insult of their Grunkle Ford, but, of course, he didn't see it and it was soon gone. "You just said all that stuff to get me to leave Mabelland." Mabel said in a low voice, remembering Dipper's defense at the trial.

"No, I didn't." Dipper said firmly, but there was still love in his voice. "You made me realize that there are more important things than fame and fortune, and that's being there for the people who care about you."

"But why would you care about me?" Mabel moaned. "I'm selfish…"

"Mabel, that's the dumbest thing you've ever said, and you once said that leg warmers were coming back." Dipper said light-heartedly to try to get Mabel to cheer up.

It worked a little; she chuckled, but shook her head to make her stop, still in Sweater Town. "It's true, Dip-Dip. I ditched you for some stupid puppet-crazy boy."

"But you found McGucket's name on the laptop. Plus, I made you give up Waddles so I could have a shot at getting Wendy."

"I got you fired from the pool."

"I think I dodged a bullet. I still have nightmares with Mr. Poolcheck."

"Dipper, I appreciate what you're trying to do," Mabel said and even lifted her head out of her sweater just enough to cast a glance at her brother. "But I'm still responsible for what happened."

Dipper opened her mouth to argue, but then he remembered what Hephzie had just said. So he said, "No, you're not. You just feel like you are. You think you're alone, but you're not. Bill took advantage of you when you felt alone, like you had no one else to go to or lean on, but that's what he does. He did that to me when I thought I had to solve the mystery of who the author was by myself, and he did that to Ford when he was trying to prove his Weirdness theory. That's just what Bill does; he makes you feel alone, but you're not."

"Your brother's right, pumpkin." Stan said as he and Ford walked through the door. They both sat on the couch and had one arm hoisted over the back of the piece of furniture so they could look down at their brother's grandchildren without breaking their backs. "You've got us. We wanna be there for you. Whether we're in the same house or on the other side of the world, we're still a family, and we wanna help you get through whatever crud you're going through."

Mabel lifted her head out of her sweater fully, still wrapped in her little ball, but she had left Sweater Town to talk to her family. "But… this has nothing to do with Bill. What I'm going through… this isn't some anomaly thing or whatever. This… this is about how I feel about myself. Maybe it's because I'm always with me, but whenever I look at myself…" Mabel swallowed, her throat getting tight, and she said in a dead-pan voice. "I don't like what I see. I _hate_ what I see."

"It can be hard to figure how what is caused by others and what is caused by your own inner demons." Ford said with a solumne nod. "You're right; not even Dipper spends as much time with you as you do. In a way, you're lucky, Mabel. Some people look at themselves and only see the best in themselves, unable to see what needs to be improved to become a better person, but some people struggle with only seeing the worst in themselves and loathing themselves so much it drives them into a very dark and dangerous place. And I would hate to see you go there, sweetie." Ford added seriously and bit his lip nervously, afraid of what might have happened if miniscule situations like this got worse.

"We all would." Stan agreed. "For what it's worth, we all think you're an amazing gal, Mabel. Sure, you might be a little self-centered and clumsy - don't give me that look, Sixer, I won't lie to my own niece - but that's just your Achillie's heel. Moses knows we all have 'em. You have so many redeeming qualities, like how kind and sweet and lovable you are, your determination, your inner-fire, and your imagination is nothing like I've ever seen! Not only that, but I've seen you work so hard to become an even better person from your mistakes."

"Stan's right, Mabel." Dipper said and patted her back. "You apologized after coming back from Dimension Mab3L, remember? You even gave me my journal!"

"And I know it doesn't feel like it right now," Ford injected. "But you have a golden opportunity to rise above this and become an even better person from it. You've always had such a caring soul. You were the first person in nearly a decade to compliment me on my six fingers and have made so many wonderful sweaters for your loved ones, and that's just the tip of the iceberg of your kindness and love for others. You have a chance to use these feelings and thoughts you have to better understand people and help them, just like you always have. But the choice is yours what to do with this situation."

"Ford's right, as always," Stan said with a roll of his eyes and went on. "Every day you wake up as a brand new person with a choice of what to do with what you learned yesterday. You know how it feels to beat yourself up, to kick yourself when you're down, and you know how toxic and draining that is. You have a chance to help others who are going through the same thing, but first ya gotta help yourself. You can't help others from drowning if you're sinking, too. And a great place to start is by letting people who love you help you. If they can."

Mabel's eyes were watering, so she wiped them dry with her sleeve and sniffed. The words her family was saying… it was almost too much. She didn't realize how much she needed their love until it was given. She wasn't completely 100% better, but she felt much better than she had felt in a long time. It was like her three favorite people in the whole world were pulling her out of a dark hole and she was starting to see the light. "You… you really mean all of that?"

"Of course we do." Ford said and held out his hand to Mabel to grab if she wanted to.

"You wouldn't call us liars, would you?" Stan asked with wiggling eyebrows and then shifted his facial expression from a cocky grin to a soft smile.

"We love you." Dipper said and continued to rub circled into her back as he smiled at her. "No matter what anyone says - or whatever you say to yourself - you're a good person, Mabel."

That was the straw that broke the camel's back. Mabel grabbed Dipper's hand and climbed them both out of the gap and over the back of the couch to sit with their great-uncles. Ford and Stan let the younger pair of twins plot down between them before suffocating them into a fight family hug. Dipper and Mabel happily participated.

Mabel breathed in deeply to calm her racing heart. Her button-nose picked up the scent of old man, Ford's cologne, and other smells that triggered Mabel's brain to think of happy things. She was reminded of home and comfort and love and family. She was reminded of hugs from her Grunkle Stan, of naps with her Grunkle Ford, and her early-childhood with Dipper, her lifelong best friend. Mabel smiled with closed eyes as she allowed herself to be immersed with comfort. She had been struggling with a lot of self-hatred lately, but that was okay. It was okay to not be okay every once and awhile, as long as you eventually pick yourself back up or at least let people help you stand up again.

Mabel nuzzled sleepily into Stan's chest. She felt emotionally exhausted, and since it was the middle of the night, her body was following suit. She wasn't the only one, either. When Hephzie would check on the Pines family a little while later to see if everything was okay, she would find all four of them sound asleep in their family hug on the couch.


	30. Lux Mxkgz Muuj gtj Mxkgz Kbor

It was a normal day. Dipper and Mabel were playing Connect Forty-Four, Stan was about to fall asleep in front of the TV, and Ford was sipping his second cup of coffee in the morning. He wandered into his bedroom, looking for Hephzie for no reason in particular, and found her looking at the big chalkboard he had for late-night thinking. She had her hands on her hips and was mesmerized by her work. Ford cautiously approached her and looked at the board. His eyes widened and it was a miracle that he didn't drop his mug.

Hephzie turned to look at him when he was by her side and she said quietly, "Call Fiddleford."

Ford nodded, ran out of the room and up the stairs, and threw the door open of the kids' bedroom in the attic. "Kids, I need you to contact Miss. Northwest, Mr. Valentino, and Mr. Gleeful. We're having a little meeting." And he left.

Dipper and Mabel exchanged bizzare looks before darting for their cellphones and texting their friends an urgent message. Ford ran to Stan and woke him up. When the twins finished talking, Stan hurried to the gift shop and told Soos and Wendy to close the shop and get in the house, and Ford called McGucket.

McGucket, Gideon, Pacifica, and Robbie all hurried to the shack, dropping whatever they were doing, and soon found themselves in the living room. Hephzie had the TV blocked by a blank chalkboard. The doors were locked and the curtains were drawn. Pacifica, Gideon, Robbie, and Wendy sat at the card table, Stan sat in his chair with his brother by his side and the kids in his lap, and Soos sat on the floor while McGucket was sitting in a chair in front of the fish tank with a pen and pad ready to take notes like he was in college again.

"Thanks 'gain for comin'." Hephzie said professionally. "As y'all know, Bill is back, now as a human n' in our world. His powers are unknown, n' if there's any chance to defeat him, y'all must know the truth 'bout the zodiac."

"The weird hopscotch?" Pacifica clarified.

"That's the one." Stan grunted.

"Well, wait, how do you know about the zodiac?" Robbie asked.

"I'll get to that afterwards." Hephzie said and picked up the chalk. "First, how much do y'all know 'bout your symbols?"

"That they don't have to be literal, but they can be symbolic." Dipper said with a shrug. "Like my pinetree."

"Hm, that's a good place to start." Hephzie said and drew the pinetree at a seemingly random spot on the boards, but they all knew better and knew she was drawing the zodiac, but doing the symbols first and not the circles. "If that were true than any Pines could take your place on the zodiac, be it Stan, Ford, Mabel, or your father or your grandfather, but you'll find it ain't easy to replace the holder of your symbols. Fate plays a huge role in this game. Now, the Natives actually associated the pinetree with wisdom n' longevity, or long life. I can't think of anyone that better suits that than ya, Dipper."

"M-Me?" The teenager stuttered as he pointed to himself.

"Of course!" Hephzie said happily and grinned at him. "Ya have so much wisdom for someone so young! Yes, you're intelligent, but your wisdom is unfounded anywhere else n' is easily your strongest quality."

Dipper blushed and rubbed his arm nervously as his sister punched his shoulder. Speaking of which, Hephzie drew the shooting star on the board, the same one Mabel was actually wearing today for the meeting.

"Now, Mabel, you're a beautiful young lady full of high ambitions! I have never in all my life met someone so willful to make their imaginations come to life! Ya have some of the most colorful ideas n' ya know how to shoot for the stars!"

"So, wait," Soos said and even raised his hand like he was in class. "If all these symbols have a deeper meanin', how did someone know they belonged in the zodiac? Who made the zodiac?"

Hephzie laughed kindly and drew the question mark. "You're a man of many questions n' wonder, Soos. I hope it never goes away. It's rare. You're overflowin' with curiosity n' have such an open-mind. Ya welcome new thangs with open arms in order to learn n' explore, n' that in its own right is beautiful."

"Not as beautiful as these speeches." Soos complimented as he wiped a tear from under his eye.

Hephzie smiled and drew a bag of ice. "Wendy, for someone with hair like fire, ya truly are cool in the face of danger. Only ya could keep calm durin' an apocalypse n' think of a way from point A to point B. You're also very cunnin' n' truly think ahead before ya act n' are very collected."

"Hey, thanks, man." Wendy said with a wink and pointed to Hephzie with a hand-gun.

Hephzie winked back and drew a heart with stitches. "Now, Robbie, for someone so young n' dark, you're a hopeless romantic."

The room laughed while Robbie's face turned red. "What?! No I'm not!" He yelled.

Hephzie rolled her eyes and explained herself. "You're tellin' me ya weren't so desperate to make your relationship with Wendy work that ya stole a song that possibly brainwashed her n' lied to her 'bout fightin' a bear? Leave your speel with Wendy out of the equation, your heart is a mended one thanks to time n' your loved ones, n' ya have a track-record for manipulatin' the heart." Hephzie turned back to the board and drew the llama next.

"Yeah," Pacifica said slowly. "Even I don't really get the llama thing. I mean, sure my favorite toy when I was a kid was a stuffed llama, but…"

Hephzie chuckled. "No, no, sweetheart. While that is further proof that this was engraved into the sands of time long before any of our births, the llama actually represents the idea that with hard work, all dreams can become a reality, n' that personal growth should be your number one priority. Ya, Pacifica, have done a magnificent job doin' so. It takes a special kind of strength to look inside n' tackle your flaws head-on. Ya made a choice to obey your heart rather your ego, n' look how it benefited your life."

Pacifica tucked some hair behind her ear bashfully. "I guess…"

Hephzie then drew a star with an eye. "The pentagram."

Gidoen put a hand to his forehead. "Oh, boy…"

"Yes, Mr. Gleeful, I remember how ya were in my piano shop as a boy, long before ya let fame get to your head n' closed your heart from others." Hephzie said firmly, but she smiled at him. "I can't tell ya how many harmless pranks ya pulled in my shop n' made me laugh n' wanna punch ya all at the same time. While your recent ambitions have been…" And the old alchemist thought for a moment of an appropriate word.

"Messed up?" Dipper offered.

"Sure, okay, 'messed up'. While your recent ambitions have been kinda messed up, you've always been a trickster n' someone who likes to put on a performance. Someone who appreciates the sparkly things in life."

Gideon gasped with shining eyes. "That's totally me!"

Hephzie then looked down at her old friend, who was scribbling away notes like a madman. "Uh, ya need me to slow down, Fidds?"

"Nope!" McGucket said and grinned up at her.

Hephzie smiled back and drew a pair of glasses on the chalkboard. "Your scholarly personality shines through your ingenuity n' unmatched ability to invent amazin' machines. I saw the Shacktron n' I saw the killer robot ya unleashed to the downtown area. Even at your lowest point, your intelligence continues to baffle n' inspire people, n' for that I can't thank ya enough."

"Oh, gosh darn it, Hephzie don't make an old man blush." McGucket scolded as he continued to scribble away, his arm a whirlwind.

Hephzie rolled his eyes and moved on. "As for the crescent, I can't think of anyone who fits this better than ya, Stan."

"Oh, yeah." Stan sneered with a cocky smile and crossed arms. "Why's that?"

"For starters, your merchandise n' flags for the Royal Order of the Holy Mackerel screams conspiracy n' secrecy. N' do I really have to remind the room that ya kept a bombshell secret for thirty years?! Ya never cease to amaze me with your complex layers n' secrets! Only ya could be so secretive that ya somehow got the government to think ya were tryin' to end the world! N' don't even get me started on the fact that ya kept a secret from Bill Cipher himself n' that saved the world! A truly outstandin' feat for an outstandin' man!"

"Alright, alright, quit kissin' up!" Stan snapped, but his stupid grin refused to go away.

Hephzie then drew a six-fingered hand. "N' last, but certainly not least, your abnormally, Ford, goes far beyond your polydactyly. Your entire life has been abnormal, not by accident, but by choice! Who else would choose to go to some lumbertown in Roadkill County to look for anomalies?! Who else would fight tooh n' nail to stay alive in the multiverse n' nearly master the life of travel, adaptin' n' livin' a life that is excitin' n' adventurous?! N' ya ain't even done yet! Sailin' the world… that's amazin'! It's all amazin'! To shatter the mold society gives people n' live every day like it's your last, it's exquisit n' has yet to have met its match."

Ford was also blushing. He cleared his throat into his fist and then asked, "Why are you telling us all of this?"

"It's important to draw knowledge from every part of the spectrum." Hephzie said and separated the symbols with lines. "If you take knowledge from only one place, ya become rigid n' stale, but understanding others, not just other thangs but other people, will help ya become whole." And Hephzie completed the zodiac by connecting them all in a circle.

"Wow," Mabel awed. "That's amazing, Hephzie!"

"Yeah, but how does this help us defeat Bill?" Dipper asked.

"Ya can't use the tool if ya don't know what it can do." Hephzie said and put the chalk down. "Listen carefully, all of ya. Ya were told this zodiac can be used to vanquish Bill, but did ya know it can also summon him?"

"Yes." Gideon said. "I did. I summoned him in my jail-cell as a last resort." He admitted shamefully.

"No, no," Hephzie corrected. "I don't mean his spirit, I mean _summon_ him. I mean bring him into this world without a rift in space-time. I mean that this zodiac, if used properly, can create a rift in space-time."

The whole room gasped at this information. They had all looked to the zodiac as a sign of hope or what could have been, how this circle and it's symbols could end Bill once and for all and save their world, not destroy it.

"So that's why it was hidden away." Ford added in a quiet voice.

"Yes." Hephzie said with a short nod. "Those characteristics I just listed can be applied to Bill as well. He's wise, he's ambitious, he's full of wonder, cool under pressure, n' manipulative. He works hard, is a trickster, he's intelligent, a giant conspiracy, n' if he doesn't perfectly describe abnormality I dunno what does."

"Are you kidding me?!" Stan barked. "So after everything we've done, it's nothing more than being like Bill?! The best in us just make us more like him?!"

"No, no, NO!" Hephzie said and shook her head as all eyes were on her. "Y'all need to quit gettin' ahead of me! Listen! Those characteristics are identical to Bill, but how ya apply 'em is complete opposite! As humans, we are blessed with an incredible power to take what we have n' choose what to do with 'em! Bill made his choice billions of years ago, but y'all can still make your choice! This zodiac can be used BOTH to summon him n' vanquish him! Y'all make the choice of what to do! N' it doen't stop outside the circle! Your wisdom, ambition, wonder, collectiveness, manipulativeness, deception, intelligence, secrecy, n' abnormality can be used for both great good n' great evil! Y'all have an incredible opportunity to add somethang beautiful to the world - or any world ya choose - through your skills n' characteristics. Bill chose to take n' steal n' bring chaos, but y'all have a chance to bring harmony, beauty, n' diversity to your home."

"We can do that?" Pacifica asked quietly.

Hephzie smiled and nodded. "Yes, n' ya don't need a zodiac to do it, hon."

"Hephzibah, that's…" Ford started, but then fumbled over his words. "That's amazing. How do you know all of this?"

"Please, my studies in alchemy revolves 'round zodiacs n' their deeper meanin's. I've been studying this wheel for years, but most recently been takin' a closer look. While the origins are still a mystery n' the closest answer I can give ya is a story Ahllen's people tell to their children to teach not to stick their noses in other people's business, there is no perfect tale out there that rightfully tells how the zodiac came to Gravity Falls, at least for now."

"So, how do we use the zodiac to defeat Bill?" Dipper asked. "Will it still work if he's human?"

"It should," Hephzie answered. "But since he's human, you'll have to trap him in the middle of the circle. His body gives him that much freedom, but that's it. Now, I think I understand Bill's plan of how to get his goons in here n' take over the world, n' we can use that plan against him. We'll…"

Hephzie was interrupted when a ball zoomed into the living room, catching nothing on fire, and floated in the middle of the room, right between Hephzie and her audience. While the room broke out into a frat of panic (Mabel held onto Stan tightly, Ford pulled out his gun, McGucket attempted to hide behind his notebook, and Pacifica fell out of her chair), Hephzie was calm. The ball of fire grew long and touched the floor, and then it transformed into a fiery silhouette of a man.

This wasn't a creature made of fire, like Flambel from MAB-3L; this was a flame that took the shape of a man. He was a head taller than Hephzie, about Ford's height, and had long hair that was tied in a loose braid, a scar over his left eye, a cloak over armor, and a satchel and a scabbard hanging from his neck. "Hephzibah, I need you at the front line." The man said.

Hephzie rubbed her forehead and growled, "Ahllen, now's not the best time. What's eatin' ya?"

"Enemy lines are moving dangerously close to the wall. We're losing men and Pana is stretched thin."

"Did ya divide the troops?"

"Yes."

"Did ya first use the phoenixes n' the soldier-birds before chargin' for the front lines?"

Ahllen swallowed. "Unfortunately, yes. They're just too strong."

Hephzie sighed. "Fine. Fiona, show me the maps of…"

"No," Ahllen said firmly and shook his head. "I need you here, _now_. I wouldn't ask this of you if I was certain I could keep my people safe without you, but I'm afraid I must ask one more time for you to keep a difficult promise."

"Are ya insinuatin' that I dare to break my promises?!" Hephzie snapped.

Ahllen put his hands up in surrender and smiled gently, "Not at all, little sister. I'm not an idiot. Just a man who humbly requests your presence." And he gave her a deeper look, or in other words, his puppy-dog eyes.

Hephzie rolled her eyes. "Don't beg like a dog for scrapes, Ahllen, it's not professional."

"Hephzibah," Ahllen growled and bared teeth like a wolf.

"Oh, what, is your tail between your legs?"

"Alicia-Sarah…"

"Oh, don't ya first-name me, mister, or your gonna get it!" Hephzie yelled warningly and crossed her arms over her chest. "Should I take the door or Fiona?"

"Fiona. I would feel much better if you were safe."

"Wants me safe n' yet asks me to fight on the front lines. Ya just love to contradict yourself, don't ya, big brother?"

"Perhaps." Ahllen said with a shrug. "Or perhaps I simply enjoy boiling your blood. I shall let the troops know their general is returning temporarily."

"Have yourself n' Amka ready for a small meetin' in the Golden Dome. I'll be there."

The flame transformed from Ahllen and into a phoenix. It flew up to Hephzie's arm, which she had bent for the bird, and Hephzie scratched under the bird's beak.

"Hephzibah," Ford said and pocketed his gun. "What… what was all that?"

Hephzie sighed tiredly and said, "I'm sorry, but I don't have time to explain. I have to go with Fiona up north to help Ahllen with somethang. I'll be back by sundown."

"Hephzibah, what did he mean by the front lines?!" Ford asked, fear pulsing through his veins. His mind was rapidly picking up the context clues, and he was unnerved by the idea of Hephzie running into battle.

"I promise I'll answer whatever questions ya have later, but I gotta go!" Hephzie looked at the phoenix. "Fiona, take me."

The phoenix sang a beautiful screech, turned into a flame, engulfed Hephzie and the flame doubled, and it zoomed out of the room after circling it and leaving no fire behind or burning anything. Ford just stood there and blinked like a confused owl.

"Grunkle Ford, what was all that about?" Dipper asked.

"To tell you the truth, Dipper. I have no idea." Ford admitted and put a hand to his charcoal-gray hair.

Pacifica stood up from where she had fallen from her chair and she said, "Well, she's got good presentation, anyway."

* * *

Ford sat on the couch-porch all day. He was anxious to see Hephzie again and get some answers, but even more anxious to have her home, safe and alive. Ford had torn apart her conversation with Ahllen a dozen times in his head and analyzed it, but he still felt like he was missing something. What was the door Hephzie was talking about? Who exactly was Ahllen? Who was Pana and Amka? And why did they need Hephzie? Was she really going to fight in a war, right on the front lines?! Ford had nearly lost Hephzie once; he couldn't stomach the idea of that happening again.

Hephzie was always so careful to keep her word. She had said that a person is only as good as their word, so when she made a promise, she did everything to keep it. So when Hephzie said she would be back by sundown, Ford believed her, but as the sun began to sink and there was no sign of Hephzie, the paranoid scientist began to drum his fingers nervously on the couch while he watched the forest turn golden thanks to the setting sun.

Mabel poked her head out of the screen door and Ford looked at her and smiled. Mabel smiled back and crawled up onto the couch. The eldest wrapped an arm around the youngest and she curled up against his side. "Are you okay?" Mabel asked.

Ford sighed. "I'm alright, my dear. I'm just anxious to have Hephzibah home."

Mable nodded. "Me, too." She looked up at her great-uncle and could tell that something else was on his mind. "Is… there something you wanna talk about?"

Ford looked down at her and debated on what to say. He finally settled with, "Mabel, do you know who Ahllen is?"

Mabel grinned. "I sure do!"

Ford was actually surprised by this. He thought Mabel would say that she didn't know who Ahllen was and then Ford could share his frustrations of not knowing who he was, as well, but that plan had been chucked out the window. "You do?"

"Yeah!" Mabel said and sat on her knees to talk to Ford. "He's Hephzie's best friend! They grew up together! Hephzie told me so many stories, like how they both fell into the Bottomless Pit and took down some mean wolves, and how they used to play in the tunnels and in the forest or swim in the lake with the sirens. They'd also hop on the trains and ride them around, but they always came home in time for dinner."

"They were childhood friends?" Ford clarified, imagining Hephzie having a similar friendship as a little girl to Stan and Ford's childhood or Mabel and Dipper.

"Yup!" Mabel said. "I can't wait to meet him, he seems really nice."

"I'm sure he is, Mabel, but what exactly is he?"

"He's some kind of werewolf." Mabel said. "They have a different name, but I can't remember. Anyway, they can choose to be a human or a wolf, and they're descendants of the Natives that used to live here a long time ago. Hephzie says that many left, but some chose to stay. All I know is that when Hephzie came back after college, Ahllen moved his family out of Gravity Falls and migrated his tribe and several other cool creatures to a new home where they would be safe. Hephzie never told me what that place was."

"She never told me anything." Ford said in a low voice that was a little bitter.

Mabel gently squeezed him. "I guess she didn't know how to. She'll tell you soon, Grunkle Ford, I know it."

The pair sat on that couch as they watch the sun sink lower into the sky. Just before it disappeared, as the world was getting darker, they saw someone walking towards the Mystery Shack. Ford and Mabel both stood up to find Hephzie the same as she was when she left, her dreadlocks a little ruffled and she looked tired, but she was fine. Mabel ran to her and Ford walked steadily off the porch. Hephzie caught the young teenager in her arms and planted Mable on her feet so they could hug.

"Hephzie! You're back! Are you okay?! What happened?! How did it go?! Is Ahllen okay?!"

"Mabel, sweetie, slow down." Hephzie scolded lightly. "Everythang's alright now, I promise."

Ford sighed as he approached Hephzie and Mabel allowed him to have a turn in holding her. "Don't you _ever_ scare me like that again." He scolded into her shoulder as he hugged her tightly.

Hephzie blinked, confused, and smiled and then hugged him and rubbed his back. "Oh, c'mon now, Fordsie. I told ya I'd be back my sundown. It's sundown, ain't it?"

"I know, but…" Ford sighed again and kissed Hephzie, who kissed him back with one hand in his fluffy charcoal-gray hair.

When they separated, Hephzie said, "Mabel, why don't ya get my scarf n' brin' it back here, n' I'll tell ya anythang ya wanna know."

Mabel nodded excitedly and ran into the house while Hephzie and Ford sat on the couch on the back porch. Soon Mabel was back and she sat cross-legged on the couch on Hephzie's left side and handed her her pair of knitting needles and a light-brown scarf that was halfway done. Mabe also gave Ford a pair of knitting needles connected by dark-blue yarn and a few stitches of already completed work and said, "Here, Grunkle Ford, I thought you might wanna try to finish your sweater."

Ford smiled, fondly remembering the end of last summer when Mabel began to teach him how to knit his own turtlenecks, and he took the needles and resumed his work. "Ah, thank you, Mabel. I've been meaning to pick this back up."

"So, Hephzie," Mabel started with as she resumed a new sweater, this one orange with a campfire on it. "What did Ahllen need your help with?"

"Oh, invaders were attackin' his home n' he needed backup. I managed to convince the mermaids to aid by performin' a sneak-attack on their base by the river n' that helped a lot, but in the end Ahllen n' I tackled it just fine."

"How?"

"Well, not to drag or nothin'," Hephzie said as she blushed a little while she knitted. "But I'm quite skilled with a sword, n' Ahllen is the master of the shield, so we've always worked very well together in battle, plus, both of us bein' masters of alchemy help."

"I didn't know you were a master." Ford said with a smile, proud that she had earned that title.

"The key to bein' a true master is humility," Hephzie said wisely as she blushed deeper. "But yes, I'm considered a master. I'm the Alchemist of Healin' n' Music. I was also considered the Alchemist of Fire, but that's for another day. Ahllen is the Alchemist of Water, so back in the day we made an amazin' team."

Ford thought to himself. He was not by any means jealous of Ahllen, but he was curious about the type of relationship he had with Hephzie. "So, Ahllen is your friend?"

"More than my friend, he's practically my brother." Hephzie said with a shrug and a smile. "He even named his first daughter after me n' made me godmother of his kids. They're all grown n' four out of five have their own kids, who are also my godkids."

'You're a godmother?!" Ford asked, not sure if he was more shocked, upset he didn't know sooner, or happy for Hephzie that she had a surrogate family. "How come you never told me about this?" Her asked in a calmer tone. "Don't you think I would want to know about your godchildren?"

Hephzie glanced up at him and gave him a warning look, but she spoke calmly. "I was plannin' on surprisin' y'all at some point, but obviously Fiona had other plans. N' really, Ford, why would I have trusted ya with all of this back in the day? This is a lot to take in, n' I didn't trust ya enough until ya were gone. Ya remember how scared I was the night I told ya 'bout alchemy."

"Of course," Ford said quickly, feeling a little guilty, but he knew Hephzie was right. "I never meant anything by it, I just… is this what you have been doing all these years? Raising your godchildren and their children?"

"What did ya think I did, mope in that ole store?" Hephzie sneered with a sly grin like a fox. "But y'all have proven to me that I can trust ya, so I was plannin' on surprisin' ya. Ahllen n' his family are so excited to get to know y'all n' I've been lookin' forward to sharin' a secret part of the world with y'all."

Ford relaxed and smiled at her. "Hephzibah, I'm… I'm sorry, and I'm grateful that you feel confident enough to share this place with us. But what do you mean by secret world?"

"When Ahllen n' his tribe left Gravity Falls, many other anomalies left with 'em, tired of this place n' believed they were no longer safe there. They wanted a place where they could be 'emselves freely, so they ventured up north n' built a city that's hidden n' kept secret with spells n' enchantments."

"Where is it?!" Mabel asked excitedly. "What is it?!"

"It's by the North Pole, at the very tip of Greenland n' hidden by mountains, just touchin' the sea." Hephzie answered. "It's called the Golden City, for when the sun rises n' sets it looks like gold, but it's named Pilivark."

"How many godkids do you have?" Ford asked as he knitted, too.

"Five. Hephzibah the Second is next in line for the throne, n' she had a little brother, Aput, who's a Water Alchemist like his father, n' there's also Pana, a Healin' Alchemist n' my old apprentice, Qimmiq, the Chief Hunter of Pilivark, n' Tolko, a teacher at the school. There's also my great-godkids. Hephzibah the Second has five kids: Tulok, Amka the Second, Yuka, Tonraq, n' little Silla was born two years ago, a little after their father's death. Aput has triplet boys, Ka, Wei, n' Tu, who are ten years old. Pana has a daughter n' her name is Karen. N' Qimmiq isn't married or has any kids, but Tolko has four kids n' one on the way: Amaruq, Anjij, Jissika, n' Nuniq, who are all under the age of seven."

"Wow, eighteen godkids." Ford breathed. "And I thought Dipper and Mabel were a handful." And Ford paused his knitting to ruffle Mabel's hair playfully.

Hephzie laughed. "Nah, if I ever get tired of 'em I can just go back to Gravity Falls."

"Do they ever come here?" Mabel asked.

"Tulok n' Amka used to visit me some days at the piano store, but Ahllen's worried that Gravity Falls isn't safe."

"Why does he think that?"

"Gravity Falls didn't always use to be safe. That's why the Great Migration happened. I remember it like it was yesterday. Ahllen had decided that Gravity Falls was too small n' too dangerous for his family, so he told me one night that he was leavin' n' never comin' back. He offered for me to go with him, but I told him I couldn't go. I had moved back home to take care of my grandparents, so he said he understood n' would think of a way to make sure I could keep in touch with 'em, but I believed at the time it was goodbye forever. I woke up at sunrise the next day to wish him n' his baby girl, my goddaughter, goodbye, n' I watched him carry away his cub by the scruff of her neck. The whole tribe, plus half of the Manotaurs, all of the elves, the centaurs, the giants, n' so many other anomalies who had had enough of Gravity Falls migrated along the river so the merpeople could join 'em up north for somethang better as the wind howled n' the mornin' sun sparkled n' shined. A few weeks later, I met Ford."

"You mean to tell me I had just missed the greatest event to take place among anomalies in decades?!" Ford growled and slapped his forehead. "There were giants here?! And elves and centaurs?!"

Hephzie chuckled and winced. "Yeah, sorry. After that, the townsfolk of Gravity Falls calmed down n' kinda ignored the little bits of paranormal they saw day-to-day, until Fiddleford went crazy n' gave 'em the idea to erase their memories."

"So, now that we know about your godkids n' Ahllen n' Pilivark," Mabel brought up to change the subject before it got too uncomfortable. "Can we go there?"

Hephzie thought about it for a moment, but then did her thinking out loud. "Well… I was gonna wait to take on some errands for Ahllen until the summer was over so I could travel without scarin' y'all, but… I guess I could… what do ya think, Stanford? Would ya wanna go to Pilivark?"

Ford nodded and smiled, hiding his extreme excitement for seeing a secret city full of unseen anomalies. "I would love to see it for myself and meet your godkids and Ahllen if you're comfortable with it."

Hephzie smiled back and focused on her scarf. "Alright. We'll go tomorrow. Dipper can come, too, if he wants. After lunch, I'll show y'all Pilivark."


	31. Lw Lv Irrolvk wr Ohdyh

Stanford winced as he leaned against a tree in the dead of night. The sun had just set and it was freezing, but he was in too much pain to notice or care. Hephzibah helped him relax and gently looked at his leg. While running from a dangerous anomaly, a huge muscled fist-shaped creature, Stanford had cut his leg deeply on a rock. Hephzibah had to help him hide and now that the monster was gone, they could focus on Stanford's injured right leg. The young woman with dreadlocks examined the cut carefully under the cut in his clothes. It was deep and Stanford was bleeding a lot. Hephzibah wouldn't be surprised if the cut almost reached his bone.

Stanford bit his lip to try to hide his pain, but it was very difficult. "Will I need stitches?" He asked.

Hephzibah looked up at his friend and said, "No. You'll be okay. I got this."

Stanford nodded and let Hephzibah do what she needed to do. Even if she never got accepted into medical school, she knew first-aid better than Stanford did and was the closest thing to a medical doctor between the two of them.

"Just… don't… don't freak out." Hephzibah requested.

"I just ran for my life from a ten-foot man-eating anomaly." Stanford growled through the pain. "I don't think anything can freak me out right now."

Hephzibah didn't look like she believed him, but she took in a deep breath, clapped her hands together, and touched his leg. Stanford's eyes widened at the red light that illuminated from under Hephzibah's hands and he soon realized the pain was gone, not even an ache remained. When Hephzibah removed her slightly bloody hands, Stanford saw that the cut was gone and his leg was fully healed, as if the injury had never happened. Stanford opened his mouth to gasp, but then he saw the look on Hephzibah's face. She looked ashamed and worried and had this look that pleaded with him not to judge her too harshly.

Stanford, by no means, was creeped out or saw this as a negative thing, but was extremely curious and wished to seek out answers, but he closed his mouth, swallowed, and croaked, "Thank you."

Hephzibah smiled nervously. "No problem."

"How… I mean… what exactly… how did you do that?" Stanford asked.

"It's alchemy." Hephzibah said and sat on her knees to talk comfortably with her friend. "I used it to make your body healed much quicker than normal. I call it Medicinal Alchemy. I can do other things with alchemy, but… I don't like to do it in front of people anymore."

"Why not?" Stanford asked gently.

"When I was a little gurl, I used to use alchemy to make flowers. My favorite was white lilies, cuz my grandparents liked 'em, but I can make roses, tulips, daisies, any flower ya can think of. I used to give 'em away or sell 'em when money got tight, but this gang of boys from my martial arts class said I was a witch n' would go 'witch huntin' n' tried to get me so they could burn me at the stake."

"That's horrible." Stanford said sympathetically. "I know how that feels." He added, only to show his friend that she wasn't alone.

Hephzibah looked lost, so Stanford raised a hand and wiggled all six of his fingers. Hephzibah seemed to understand, because she quietly said "oh" and then shrugged. "Anyway, it wasn't all bad. I met a few friends who loved my alchemy, n' praciticin' made me happy, but… I guess I didn't wanna tell ya in case ya thought I was some dangerous anomaly."

"I don't." Stanford said quickly and then thought about it. Really, this was a great thing. Alchemy is very complex and can go horribly wrong if not perfected, but Hephzibah had it under control and was brilliant to be able to heal injuries with just a touch of her hand. He looked down at Hephzibah's hands and paid closer attention to the tattoos on the back of her hands, what Stanford had written off as dreamcatchers or some sort of hippy symbol he now understood was transmutation-circles. "Is that why you have those tattoos?"

Hephzibah nodded.

"Can I see?"

Hephzibag gave Stanford her hands and let him look closely. "These transmutation-circles are only for healin'. If I want to do anythang else, I gotta draw it myself with chalk, but I decided that, for emergencies, I always want healin' transmutation-circles with me."

"Ingenious, really." Stanford commented breathlessly as he looked at how carefully her tattoos were inked into her dark skin. "This is…" And his voice stopped.

Hephzibah, as always, seemed to understand him, so she chuckled and said, "Thanks." Stanford let go of her hands and stood up just as easily as always. Hephzibah walked with him and had only one request. "N', Ford, if ya… would ya, please, keep this on a need-to-know basis? Thangs are different from when I was a kid, but last thang my family needs is some government guy snoopin' 'round cuz I'm doin the 'devil's work' or what-not."

"Of course." Stanford said, not a fan of the government interfering with his work, either. "I promise, your secret is safe with me."

Hephzibah smiled, comforted, and punched his shoulder playfully. Stanford shoved her gently and they continued on their way to Stanford's secluded home in the woods.

* * *

Hephzie walked into the kitchen the next morning, rubbing one of her eyes, and was surprised to find Ford, Dipper, and Mabel all sitting at the table, grinning and ready to go. Hephzie laughed and agreed to take them to Pilivark as soon as they were done with breakfast.

Later, once she had put her empty mug in the sink, the old alchemist turned to the three at the table and said in a more serious tone, "What I'm gonna show ya… ya gotta promise to keep to yourself. Not everyone is like y'all, who just wanna explore to explore n' discover thangs just to learn. It ain't uncommon for people to wanna hunt down Ahllen's family n' his people. There's a reason Pilivark is hidden, so whatever ya see today, promise me you'll keep it to yourselves, okay?"

The twins nodded and their great-uncle said solemnly with a reassuring smile, "We promise, Hephzibah."

Hephzie grinned. "Then let's go. We gotta lotta ground to cover."

The three Pines followed the old alchemist out of the house and into the woods. They chatted pleasantly as they walked to the mountains.

"Oh! Are you friends with the Hand Witch?" Mabel asked when she saw the mountains. "Or the Multibear?"

"I do have tea with the Multibear on Sundays." Hephzie said. "But that's not why we're headin' that way. There are only three ways to get to Pilivark. Ya _could_ travel to Greenland, but that would take way too long n' there are spells n' enchantments that hide the city, so ya'd have to know how to overcome 'em to find Pilivark. Or, ya could have Fiona take ya. She's a phoenix n' she can take anyone anywhere in the span of a minute, travelin' at the speed of light, but she's like a cat; ya can't tell her to do anythang n' she acts on her own accord. Or, ya could have a key."

"To a door?" Dipper asked, remembering what Hephzie had asked Ahllen before disappearing with the phoenix.

"That's right." Hephzie said as they walked up the base of a mountain with no caves. "This is a special door that can take ya to specific locations where other alchemist are planted throughout the world. There's a smaller underground city in London, I've got surrogate sisters in India who are Alchemists of Fire, n' I've got a cousin in Russia n' a friend in Ireland who are part of our web. But for today, we'll be travelin' to Pilivark, which is as close to the North Pole as we can be."

Hephzie walked up to the wall made of rock and unbuttoned the top button of her gray top to reveal her chest without being perverted. Right below her collar was a new tattoo of a key. It was about the size of her hand, but when Hephzie tapped her tattoo and pulled her hand away, the key turned into gold and was no longer attached to her skin, but floated into her hand like a magnet. The bow of the key was round and had a transmutation circle etched into it. Hephzie then gently touched the mountain with the tip of the key and used it like chalk on a chalkboard to draw a door, leaving behind a golden trail. When Hephzie was done, the door magically transformed into a real wooden one with gold decorating it.

Hephzie grinned and pocketed her key in her jeans. "Ta da!"

Dipper pulled out his journal and began to take notes rapidly. "That is way cooler than the President's Key!"

"It's an Alchemist's Key." Hephzie explained. "It can turn into a tattoo on anyone's skin n' can only be removed by the person who placed it there. The keys are only given to high-rankin' alchemists n' anyone Ahllen trusts enough to have one. He personally invented 'em just so we could stay in contact." Hephzie put the key to the underside of her forearm and tapped it. The key transformed into a tattoo again and she opened the door.

The door revealed, not the inside of the mountain, but a grassy field circled by its own range of mountains. Hephzie gestured through it and the teenagers went first and then Ford. Hephzie closed the door behind them and it disappeared, turning into golden dust and flying into Hephzie's key-tattoo. Ford, Dipper, and Mabel looked around for the Golden City, but they didn't see anything. Even though they were in Greenland and close to the North Pole, they weren't cold and the only snow visible as on the tops of the high mountains. A soft breeze made the grass wave like an ocean. Behind them, a river flowed, cutting the field in half. One half was the mountain range, but on the other half, behind the travelers and two miles away from the river, was a forest.

"Pilivark's hidden on the other side of those mountains." Hephzie said and pointed. "Let's go."

"How come the door took us all the way over here?" Mabe asked, looking around the beautiful field.

"One, cuz it would be just as rude as kickin' down the front door to appear directly in front of the city or inside of it." Hephzie explained. "N' two, to make sure we aren't bein' followed."

"What are the spells you were talking about?" Ford asked.

Hephzie, desiring his touch, slyly took his hand as she answered her boyfriend's question. "Oh, there are guards hidden in the mountains. Their job is to make unwanted visitors think they're late for somethang important or think they left the oven on or somethang so they'll leave. If all else fails, there's a barrier they can put up that'll magically transport 'em to the other side of the city when they cross it. There's no way some average hiker or adventurous hippy could find this place."

They heard commotion from the mountains, which was still a good walk away from, and Hephzie grinned. What sounded like laughter and talking silenced as two wolves and two humans came into view. One human, the boy about Mabel and Dipper's age, had long black hair that he tied in a low-ponytail and was a Native, wearing a cloak and holding a wooden staff. The girl, also around the twins' age, had black hair that was in a pixie cut and a big woven basket that hung over her shoulder. They stared, but then smiled as the wolves ran up to the Ford, Mabel, Dipper, and Hephzie. The Pines stiffened, but Hephzie let go of Ford's hand and ran up to the wolves. Mid-jump, they transformed into humans and landed in Hephzie's arms, hugging her and laughing.

"Mama H! Mama H!" The little girl cried out as she hugged her around the neck and Hephzie got on her knees. The girl also had long hair and looked no older than eight. "You're back!"

"I told ya I would be, love." Hephzie said and squeezed the girl and the boy. The boy hugged her around her waist and grinned. He appeared the youngest of the black-haired Natives, but his eyes were gray and blind and he had two small braids in his short, unruly black hair. "Y'all are gettin' fast!"

The girl puffed out her chest when Hephzie let the children go. "I'm still the fastest of the fast!"

"Am not!" The boy argued.

"Am too!"

"Am not!"

"Oh, shut up." The eldest girl said as she and the boy with the staff approached and the young lady smiled and hugged Hephzie. "Welcome back, Mama H."

"Thank ya, Amka. Ya look beautiful, as always." Hephzie complimented and hugged the boy when he opened his arms to her. "N' how's the herd, Tulok?"

"As good as gold." The boy said and smiled calmly with his staff in hand. "I still fear for Spot, but she should pull through."

"Hm, you're a gentle n' nurturin' soul. She n' her family'll be fine." Hephzie said reassuringly, patted his cheek, and turned to the Pines family. "Guys, these are my godkids. The eldest is Tulok, n' that's Amka, n' that one is Yuka n' that's Tonraq, Princess Hephzibah's kids."

"Ahllen's daughter and grandkids!" Mabel said and waved. "Hi! I'm Mabel! And that's Dipper and Ford."

"It's lovely to meet you." Amka said and shook their hands; Tulok did the same. "Hephzie's told us so much about you all."

"Sir, are you really Stanford Pines?" Yuka asked as she tugged on his trenchcoat and grinned.

"Yuka," Tulok scolded with a smile. "Leave him be, he just arrived and doesn't need the pestering of a hyperactive child."

Yuka blew a raspberry at her big brother.

Ford chuckled and picked the little girl up and held her by his hip. "Yes, I am. I suppose your godmother has… erm, done her fair share of storytelling, has she?"

"Yes, sir." Yuka giggled and nodded.

"So what brings you back, Mama H?" Tonraq asked.

"I thought it was high time to introduce Ford n' his family to Ahllen n' your home." Hephzie said. "Out fishin' for dinner?"

"Yes," Amka said with a nod. "Grandfather is at home right now if you wish to see him."

"Thank ya, Amka." Hephzie said.

"Wait, how are you guys gonna fish without fishing poles?" Dipper asked.

"Are you guys gonna turn back into wolves and catch them?!" Mabel asked excitedly.

Tulok shook his head. "No, that takes too long. Here, we'll show you."

Amka gave the basket to Tonraq, who held it opened and stood by the river. Yuka stayed on Ford's hip and Amka and Tulok stood at the edge of the river, the water just barely touching their boots. The grass was gone and replaced with mud. Tulok used his staff to draw a transmutation circle he knew by heart, a big one that needed two people, and he and Amka got on their knees before it. Together, after Tulok dropped his staff, they clapped their hands and touched the edge of the circle. Right in front of them, a giant water-drop full of fish sprang up from the river and floated. It was like an aquarium, with the fish swimming around in the giant bubble of water. It floated over the land and Tonraq, despite being blind, stood below it and caught all the fish when the bubble popped and the water splashed down.

Tulok stood up and counted the fish in the basket that wiggled around. "That should be enough."

"Can we play now?" Yuka begged and wiggled out of Ford's hold to roll around in the cool grass.

"Of course." Tulok said and turned into a wolf to chase his sister. She transformed, too, and ran out into the field. Tonraq sealed the basket and ran and played as a wolf, too, but Amka sat on a big rock and smiled and watched.

"We'll return later." She said to her godmother. "Will you be there when we come back?"

"Perhaps." Hephzie said with a shrug. "I was hopin' to have tea with Ahllen."

"Oh, I'll see you later, then." Amka replied and waved the humans goodbye for now.

Hephzie, Dipper, Mabel, and Ford returned the wave and walked towards the mountains. There was a gap in the range, where Tulok, Amka, Yuka, and Tonraq had come from, so Hephzie led the Pines down that. She swiftly took Ford's hand again, which he happily squeezed and walked with her. Behind them, Mabel watched with shining eyes. Dipper rolled his own eyes at his sister, but still smiled. As they walked down the curvy trail, something ahead came into view and they stopped so the new-comers could stare with hanging jaws.

A giant wall stood before them, reaching the mountains so whatever was behind it was protected by either a tall, thick, white wall or rocky mountains. The wall had no door and no gate, but it was pure white and it was hard to tell what it was made of because it was so clean and so perfect. Marble? Stone? Metal? Who knows, and really, who cares? Hephzie helped Ford walk forward and the twins followed. Hephzie walked up to the wall and cleared her throat.

At once, a giant voice boomed, "WHO KNOCKS AT THE GARDEN GATE?!"

Ford held Hephzie's hand a little tighter and looked ready to jump in front of her and protect her, and Dipper and Mabel were startled, but Hephzie was unhazed. "One who has tasted its fruit n' seen it's mysteries."

Like elevator doors, two slabs of the wall parted ways and revealed a tunnel that went through the wall to the other side. It was empty, apart from a big wooden desk littered with documents and books and a tall muscular man with battle scars all over his exposed arms and blond hair that formed a long braid, along with a curled mustache. He smiled with kind eyes and said, "Welcome back, General Hephzibah. And who do you have with you? You have never brought visitors before."

"Yeah, this is a special occasion." Hephzie said sheepishly and gestured to the Pines. "This is Dipper n' Mabel, n' this is Stanford Pines. They've close n' personal friends of mine n' are given permission to visit here as many times as they want for as long as they want."

The man clapped his hands together and bowed slightly, saluting her in their culture. "Yes, General. I shall have it be known."

"Thanks, Arnold. Oh, n' send Nettie my regards."

"Yes, General. Have a good time!"

"We will." Hephzie led the way through the tunnel and Ford, Dipper, and Mabel followed. Behind them, Mabel saw Arnold clap his hands again, but this time he then touched the wall and it closed magically. He then sat at the desk and resumed his paperwork. Mabel looked ahead, excited to get her first look at the Golden City. At first the light blinded them, but when it faded and their eyes got used to it, Hephzie proudly said, "Welcome to Pilivark, guys!"

It was one of the most beautiful places Dipper and Mabel had ever seen. With a mixture of townhouses with shops on the first half and homes on the second, tall skyscrapers, home-gardens that grew food for their families, huge houses for giants and smaller ones for elves, and rivers for the main streets like they were in Venice, Pilivark was truly a place to behold. The wall closed behind them and Hephzie led ahead to a river that acted as a main street. A giant turtle waded and licked Hephzie's outstretched hand. With Hephzie's permission, the humans walked on the turtle's shell and Hephzie gently said, "To the market, please."

The turtle slowly swam down the street and the humans watched in wonder. Below them, an entire city was for the mermaids and other underwater creatures. Mabel sat on her knees to admire a mermaid that was carrying stone tablets and delivering them in a mailman's satchel. Dipper was taking rapid notes of what he saw, making rough sketches that he would later finish properly. Ford watched in wonder as a giant-mother walked her toddler by the hand down the street. They waved politely to Ford and he waved back. Wolves ran and turned into humans. Elves walked with a spring in their step. A centruar or two could be seen, walking gracefully with swishing tales. Normal humans also occupied the city and Manotaurs blended in perfectly; no species stood out like a sore thumb in the midst of oddities and diversity.

"Wow, there's tone of werewolves here!" Mabel awed.

"Mabel!" Hephzie scolded and got on one knee to say quietly, "Ya don't call 'em that. That's considered a horrible slur for their people. Their proper name is Mortamigas, or Mortamigi for plural."

Mabel slapped her hands over her mouth in shame. "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry!"

Hephzie patted her back and stood up straight. "It's alright, ya didn't know."

"This place is incredible!" Ford exclaimed excitedly. "I only wish I had seen this place sooner."

Hephzie smiled and took his hand again, proud that they were all taking this new discovery so well. The turtle slowed to a stop at the end of the river, where a giant market was before them on white marble. Carts full of potions and herbs and flowers decorated the sidewalks. Built-in stores sold clothing, candy, books, and one even sold pets. A huge building, however, separating the market from the main-street-river and sitting at the side was a Greek-styled building with a large set of stairs leading up to silver doors that were kept open. The sign engraved over the door read "Pilivark Public Library", and a statue of a younger-version of Hephzie - wearing her usual clothing under a cloak, and reading a book with a sword stabbed in the ground and used as an arm-rest - could be seen. Hephzie looked away from the statue of herself bashfully, muttering "I've always hated that thang" but Dipper and Mabel rushed to it to read the plaque under the white-marble statue of Hephzie.

"General Hephzibah Cece." Dipper read out-loud. "Founder of the Pilivark Public Library, godmother to the princes and princesses, and Alchemist of Fire, Music, and Healing."

"Wowie, zowie!" Mabel gasped and turned to Hephzie. "I didn't know you built a library and had a statue!"

"I told Ahllen not to build that statue," Hephzie growled with a red face. "But he ignored me n' it's now bein' used as a security measure, so there's no turnin' back. N' yes, the library was my contribution to the buildin' of Pilivark. I was a little too busy helpin' my grandparents n' Ford here to do much once Ahllen gave me my key, but I wanted people to have the freedom to read if they wanted, so I saw over that project n' gathered books from all over the world."

"I think it's wonderful!" Ford said with shining eyes at the library. "We'll have to visit it once we have met Ahllen."

"He's lookin' forward to meet y'all." Hephzie said as she led the way passed the market, still holding Ford's hand. "I've… erm, done my fair share of braggin' 'bout y'all."

Up ahead, at the end of the market, was a huge building. With a huge staircase that could easily accommodate a giant, the Golden Dome got its name for a reason. The front and center truly was a building with a golden dome that sparkled and shined in the sunlight, and then to the left and the right big rooms had been built in. There was more behind the dome, but it could not be seen from the bottom of the staircase.

Hephzie, as usual, led the way up, and Mabel grinned when she saw the golden wolf-shaped handled on the door; it looked like golden wolves were biting rings. Hephzie grabbed a ring, turned a head like a doorknob, and pushed. The door swung open and the four walked in. The Pines awed to see a vast room decorated with white marble with gold lines in betted in it. The room on the left was being tended to, a ballroom that was being set up by humans and elves. They didn't get a good look, not wanting to be in the way, and instead look to the room on the right, which had its doors closed and was guarded by two Manotaurs.

"What's that room?" Mabel asked and pointed.

"That's the room where we hold meetin's." Hephzie explained. "Many secrets are kept there, n' so enemies don't try to sneak in n' steal 'em, we have guards posted during daylight hours. Excuse me, gentlemen, is Ahllen in there now?" She called.

"No, General." One Manotaur said with a shake of his head. "I believe he's home."

"Thanks." Hephzie led the way up to a smaller set of stairs at the back-center of the vast room. These stairs led to more humble doors, double-wooden-doors with locks on them. Hephzie ran a small doorbell to the right-side and waited a moment.

One door opened and it was none other than Ahllen. For a king, he was actually quite gentle, and at once the atmosphere around him softened. He had long jet-black hair like his grandchildren that was tied in a braid down his back and a scar over his left eye from when he had fought in battle many years ago, but his eyes were a warm dark-green and sparkled kindly. He wore deer-skin pants, like his grandchildren, and wore boots and white baggy shirt over his muscular chest. Ahllen grinned at the sight of Hephzie and hugged her, who hugged him in return. "Hephzie! So good to see you! I have missed you so."

"It's hardly been a day." Hephzie chuckled as she let Ahllen go.

"And what an impression you have made."

Hephzie punched his shoulder and smiled at the Pines family. "Ahllen, I've brought Dipper, Mabel, n' Stanford Pines with me. Guys, this is the Water Alchemist, King Ahllen of the Mortamigi n' Pilivark, a direct descendant of the Natives of Gravity Falls, n' a lifelong friend of mine."

"You've always over-done it with introductions, little sister." Ahllen said with a roll of his eyes and held out his hand to Ford. "Just Ahllen will do just fine."

Ford smiled and shook his hand. "It's an honor to finally meet you, your Highness."

Ahllen laughed and patted his shoulder. "Please, no need for all that, my friend! I may be king, but unless we are before the enemy or you are taking direct orders from me, proceed to treat me as your equal. And you two! It is just as lovely to meet you as well." Ahllen moved his attention to the twins and offered his hand to them, who both shook it and smiled.

"Wow, I've heard so much about you!" Mabel said with a grin. "Is it true you two fell down the Bottomless Pit together and took down some rogue Mortamigi?"

Ahllen laughed and held the door open for his guests. "Well, why don't you come in and join my wife and I for a cup of tea, and I would be more than happy to tell you that tale."

"Thank you." Ford said and walked through the doors with the teenagers behind him.

They faced a set of stairs that led downward to a closed door, the hallway decorated with framed photographs of Ahllen's family. Here and there, Hephzie would be smiling in one of them, holding a baby or grinning by Ahllen's side. Ford smiled at one huge family-photo at some sort of party in which Hephzie had a baby in her arms, who was tugging on her dreadlocks, and a picture of Ahllen and his wife's wedding showed Hephzie grinning by their side. Ahllen's five children and their children decorated the hallway down to the door, and when Ford opened it, he was surprised to find not a castle-like home, but a humble, large kitchen and dining room area. A huge dining table was circled with chairs and being wiped by a lady who was Ahllen, Hephzie, and Ford's age and she smiled at the visitors. She had long black hair with one gray streak on her right side and wore a dirty white shawl tied around her waist and a pair of black pants with a white top.

"Welcome." She said and stretched out her hand to Ford. "I am Amka. And you are…"

"Stanford Pines, ma'am." He introduced as Ahllen and Hephzie came in and the king closed the door behind them. "And this is my grandniece and nephew, Mabel and Dipper."

"They're friends of Hephzie, sweetheart." Ahllen elaborated.

"I may be old, but my memory is not that bad yet, Ahllen." Amka teased and shook the teenager's hand. "Hephzie won't keep quiet about them."

"That's not true!" Hephzie defended.

"I was going to serve them tea." Ahllen informed and got the kettle from a cabinet next to the oven and asked, "Would you care to join us?"

"I would." Amka said, kissed Ahllen's cheek, and gestured for the Pines to sit and did not sit until they did. "So, Hephzie tells us you are a researcher and a scientist, Stanford."

"Just Ford, ma'am, please," Ford said gently with a smile. "And yes, I am."

"Fascinating." Amka said earnestly and leaned forward with shining eyes. "You must tell me all about it!"

Hephzie took a seat next to Ford and she listened to him spill about his own adventures and how sometimes Hephzie connected with them. They were all taken a trip down memory-lane as some anomalies Ahllen and Hephzie had met as children and some Ahllen and Amka had never met and were interested. They were also eager to hear about Gravity Falls, their birthplace, and how it had changed. The twins could describe it much better than Hephzie could, and soon they were all sitting at the large table with cups of hot tea and happily chatting away.

At the end of it all, Ford was proud to consider King Ahllen and Queen Amka his friends. When the old scientist heard they were king and queen, he had expected them to hold themselves higher or be too busy to sit and talk, but they were not any different than normal civilians. During troubled times they may act as decision-makers, but they did not command a large amount of respect or host a castle, rather they had a large hut for a home to house their large family, as Ford would later learn that it was culture for families to live together, like it is in Mexico or India.

Towards the end of the conversation, Ahllen remembered something and said, "Oh! Hephzie! I know you wished to be off duty until the end of summer, but I was hoping you would make a trip for me."

"Depends: where?" Hephzie asked as she looked down at her lump of tea-leaves and swirled it around her cup.

"Moscow, to see Michael. Eve's flowers should be ready for grinding and I need to give him some tea leaves in exchange. I would also like a report on his work with Floral Alchemy."

"It's taken a bit of a backseat with everythang on his plate, big brother." Hephzie gently reminded her friend and sat the cup down on the saucer. "But I've missed him. I suppose I can go tomorrow." She looked over at Ford, Mabel, and Dipper and asked, "How 'bout it? Feel like meetin' my cousin?"

"Yeah!" Dipper cheered. "I didn't know you had a cousin in Russia!"

"Well, technically he's my grandmother's cousin's son…"

"That would make him your second cousin, once removed." Ford stated.

Hephzie shrugged. "Who cares, the point is he's family n' my age n' we always had fun together at the family reunions, bein' the only ones of the same age to play with. So, sure, we'll go see him tomorrow."

"Don't you wanna go see him yourself, Ahllen?" Mabel asked.

"No thank you." Ahllen said coldly and sipped his second cup of tea. "We don't get along very well."

"That's an understatement." Hephzie laughed coldly. "You nearly bit his neck off last time you two spoke."

"Well if he would work on his humility...!" He started to growl, but Amka stopped him.

"You're one to talk about having too much pride, Ahllen, sweetheart, don't deny it."

"I'm not denying anything." The king said indignantly.

"Another denial!"

Ahllen blew a raspberry and Amka playfully pushed his shoulder, in which he retaliated by sneaking a kiss on her cheek, making her blush like when they were younger. Hephzie smiled and rolled her eyes and Ford couldn't help but watch Ahllen gather dishes and continue to tease his wife playfully. It was clear that these two had been married for well over forty years and were still madly in love. Their chemistry was unmatched and Ford found himself watching without the slightest hint of envy.

* * *

It was around dinnertime. Tate and McGucket were out at Greasy's tonight, chatting about business down at the bait shop and the weather and whatever was on their minds. On the way into the diner, McGucket saw a hooded figure sitting on the curb under the streetlight and could tell from how old and ratted his clothes were and how skinny the man appeared in the bit McGucket could see of him that he was starving and too poor for a hot meal. McGucket shoved it to the back of his mind until the end of the meal when he decided to surprise the hidden man with a slice of hot cherry pie.

Tate was inside and chit-chatting with Lazy Susan when McGucket went out to talk to the stranger. "Here ya go, sir."

The man, his face hidden by the hood of his coat, glanced up and shook his head, "Oh, no, sir. I couldn't…"

"Yes, ya can." McGucket insisted and smiled kindly; not that he was going to share this part to the stranger, but he knew what it was like to go hungry.

Though the stranger's eyes were hidden, he smiled at McGucket and held out a bony, dark-skinned hand. "Thank you very much. Let me know if I can ever return the favor."

McGucket smiled and shook his hand. Then Tate came out and McGucket walked away with his son, giving one last wave to the stranger as he took the pie.

Bill smiled maliciously and licked his lips. He was definitely getting tired of eating squirrels, but what was more satisfying than something more tasteful to eat was the fact that he got Glasses to shake his hand.


	32. Gxgg gl oqw Ivdcc Stbijcd

"My research!"

Like a dog after a thrown toy, Hephzibah took a running start for the lake and dove into it. The lake's floor dropped off dangerously after only a few feet, so she disappeared underneath the freezing water.

"Hephzibah!" Stanford yelled and stood at the very edge of the little waves.

It was at the end of February. The snow had melted away, but the night sat at a cold thirty-nine degrees. The water, unquestionably, was extremely deadly right now, with promises of hyperthermia.

Hephzibah could testify; the moment she jumped into the lake her body screamed in agony, every fiber of her being begging for warmth. She ignored her pain in order to focus on diving down into the depths of the lake for the sinking journal. Her clothes were soaked through and made it hard to move freely, but she kept on going. All those years of swimming in the lake had prepared her for this. Hephzibah was almost as good a swimmer as the merpeople. Her dreadlocks floated behind her, recoiling by her neck like snakes. Her hands started to lose feeling as she dove deeper. It was almost too dark to see.

Meanwhile, up at the surface, Stanford was freaking out. He paced along the edge of the lake for any sign of Hephzibah. It was way too cold for her to be submerged in water, and the longer she was gone, the greater of a risk she was in of running out of oxygen and drowning. Hephzibah had just saved Stanford from drowning; it was his turn to return the favor.

He tried to think rationally, but that was hard to do when he was **f** earful for his friend's life. His instinct told him to jump after Hephzibah and pull her back up, abandoning his research. He could re-record his findings. He could discover the anomalies again. He would never find another Hephzibah for as long as he lived. But Stanford knew that Hephzibah wasn't just at risk of drowning, but of hyperthermia. If he was to save her, he needed to stay as dry as possible and not catch it himself. Maybe if he stripped and then dived, but that would take too long! Every second counted! But he was wasting time theorizing what to do! Stanford ran his fingers through his hair and started to breathe heavily.

"Hephzie! Hephzibah!" He called out into the night with a trembling voice.

The wind started to pick up and Stanford held his flapping trenchcoat close. He felt immensely guilty for feeling warm under his dry clothes while his friend could be dying for all he knew. He made up his mind and was working to take off his trenchcoat, when suddenly Hephzibah burst up from the lake, gasping for breath, with the journal in her quaking hands.

"Hephzibah!" Stanford cried out in relief as she crawled up out of the water.

"Trust me now?" She teased as she held out the book.

Once she reached him, Stanford threw the journal aside on the grass and took off his coat. He helped Hephzibah put it on, her lips blue and her body shaking horribly. "You're so cold!" Stanford exclaimed as he took her hands and tried to warm them under his hold. "Come on, I'll take you to my house. It's closest."

Hephzibah allowed him to hold her by the shoulders and guide her away from the lake. A fierce breeze ran through the night air and Hephzibah's teeth chattered under her tight cheeks. She held herself and leaned into Stanford's warm chest. As they walked by it, Hephzibah stooped down to pick up the journal and held it close to her soaked chest.

* * *

Dipper kept a gentle hand squeeze his shoulder and then rub his back, waking him up sweetly. He looked up and blinked in the early sunlight to find Hephzie smiling down at him. "Sorry to wake ya, Dipper, but we gotta move if we wanna see Michael. C'mon."

Dipper sat up and pinched at his eyes, excited to go to Russia, but when he saw his clock and read 7:08, he couldn't help but feel a little annoyed to getting such an early start to the day. "Why do we have to get up so early?" He asked.

Hephzie, while waking Mabel up just as nicely as she had with Dipper, answered with, "Cuz there's an eleven hour time difference between us n' Moscow. To 'em, it's 6pm right now, so unless we wanna disturb Mchael n' Paul in the middle of the night, we need to go now."

Dipper yawned, understanding, and got out of bed to slip on his vest and hat and shoes. "Okay, got it."

Mabel sat up and stretched. "Whazza doin' on?"

"We're goin' to Russia." Hephzie remind her and headed for the door. "It shouldn't be too cold, but once the sun goes down it'll be be chilly so ya might wanna bring an extra jacket or somethang. Hurry now, Ford n' I'll be downstairs."

Mabel was quicker to get ready than her brother, excited to meet Michael and see the capital of Russia. They hurried downstairs to find Ford and Hephzie talking at the table over coffee. After a quick bowl of cereal, the four were out the door, leaving behind a quick note for Stan, swearing they would be home by lunch at the latest.

Once again, they went to the mountains, a good place to place the Alchemist's Door with the Alchemist's Key. This time, Dipper and Mabel led the way, chatting about Russia, with Ford and Hephzie holding hands and walking behind them.

"Now, I should warn ya," Hephzie said to the group. "This'll be different than goin' to Pilivark. Not a lot of people are fluent in English n' Michael is… different."

"We're all different, Hephzie." Mabel said lightly as they reached the mountain and Hephzie magically turned her tattoo (hidden on her chest again) into a key and began to draw a door.

"That's a good way to look at it, Mabel." Hephzie said as the door magically appeared and she opened it. "Now, everyone keep your voices low until I say otherwise."

This time, the door led to what looked like a dark alley. Ford, Dipper, and Mabel walked through and felt a shiver go through them. The temperature probably dropped ten degrees compared to an early summer morning in Oregon verses a shadowed alley at the end of the day in Moscow. They looked up and around to find themselves in an alley that was crowded with condos and apartments with hanging laundry and Russian flags. Hephzie closed the door and it disappeared into dust, which flew into her key, which she had turned into a tattoo on her chest and she zipped up her black leather jacket to hide it.

"Now, Michael should be home by now, n' his apa **r** tment is a few blocks away." Hephzie said, taking Ford's hand, and leading the way down the alleyway for a street. "C'mon."

Mabel and Dipper happily followed and awed at Moscow. Beautiful castles sparkled at a distance and older brick buildings and clean trees surrounded them. Stray cats walked all over the place, playing and meowing for food, and men in suits and fur caps and ladies in shawls crowded the streets and talked in rapid Russian as they were heading home from work or dinner. The Kremlin Clock, the Big Ben of Moscow, chimed seven times and told the citizens that it was seven o'clock at night.

"Incredible." Ford awed. "I wish I could see this place in the winter."

Hephzie laughed and said, "Nah, ya don't. Ya'd freeze, but at Christmas it's very beautiful, n' yes the Red Square is beautiful in the snow, but it ain't worth the below-freezin'' temperatures. I dunno how Michael can stand it."

"What does Michael do?" Mabel asked.

"He's a professor at the Moscow State Academy of Choreography, or commonly known as The Bolshoi Ballet Academy." Hephzie said.

"That's one of the best dance schools in the world!" Ford awed. "It's over three hundred-years-old and home to some of the best ballet dancers in history! How did he manage to become a professor there?!"

"Well, he started in New York n' got accepted to Columbia University. He wanted to advance n' so he got transferred to The Bolshoi Ballet Academy back in… 1979. He fell in love n' has been here ever since." Hephzie explained as they reached a new street full of condos. One caught Hephzie's eye and she pointed to it. "Ah! Here we go!"

Every condo was decorated differently, but this was stuck out pleasantly. With a bed full of radiant flowers on the balcony and bright windchimes hanging around, this condo stood out as the most "hippy" of them all. A fat, gray, fluffy cat sat on the front door, wh **i** ch had a little door for the pet, and looked up at the visitors. It stood, stretched, and trotted over to Hephzie and rubbed her body against her leg.

Hephzie bent down and scratch the cat. "Hello, Ten. Missed me?"

"Ten?" Dipper asked.

"It's Russian for Shadow."

"Oh."

Hephzie rang the doorbell and she and the Pines waited by petting Ten, who was an affectionate cat and took quite a liking to Ford, staying close to him and gently pawing at his hand for more scratches if he ever dared to stop. A few seconds later and an odd man answered the door and grinned. He was, for lack of a better word, eccentric. Half of his hair was shaved off, the other half long and went to his shoulders. He had it pinned behind his ear, which was covered in earrings, like a crescent-shaped moon and a diamond stud. He wore a baggy purple-striped top that was tucked in at the belt and looked more like a pirate's shirt. He also wore black shoes that shined and clicked like dance shoes and black pants. On top of all of this, however, was a dirty white apron that read "Kiss the Cook". His hands were almost completely covered in rings and he wore strong cologne that smelled pleasant. This was clearly a man who didn't mind being different and sticking out in a crowd.

"Hephzie!" He squealed and hugged Hephzie, vocalizing his squeeze like a grandma might. Hephzie hugged him back and was delighted to see him. "Look at you, baby girl! You shine like a new penny! How long has it been? Oh, who cares! Way too long!"

"It's so good to see ya, too, Mike." Hephzie said and let go to make proper introductions. "Guys, this is Michael Murphy. Mike, this is my boyfriend, Stanford Pines, n' his grandniece n' nephew, Dipper n' Mabel. They're stayin' with him n' his brother, Stanley, for the summer."

Michael's eyes sparkled and he held out a hand for Ford to shake. "Oh! Well color me surprised! Congrats on the catch, sugar. It's nice to meet you."

Ford chuckled nervously and shook his hand. "Thank you, professor. It's nice to meet you, too."

"Oh, hush with that professor-crud." Michael said, waving it away. "Come on in, all y'all, n' get warm."

Hephzie followed Michael inside and Ford, Dipper and Mabel followed them. The condo was crowded and full of odd and wonderful things. Hanging on the wall by the door, completely covering it, was a rainbow flag. Hanging on the walls were a few photographs, but others were beautiful landscapes. Orchestra music filled the atmosphere from a small radio. Hanging beads acted as a door to the hallway from the living room they stood in. A velvet couch and antique twin chairs matched it with a wooden coffee table. Incense filled the room and plants were growing here and there. Despite the small condo being crowded, it didn't feel cluttered and it was very clean. Ten sat on the couch and Ford sat next to him, scratching him. Hephzie sat next to Ford and Michael disappeared through the beads for the kitchen while Dipper and Mabel took the antique chairs and sat comfortably.

"Is Paul home?" Hephzie called.

"No, he's working overtime at the courthouse. A nasty case from the sounds of it." Michael called from the kitchen and soon emerged with his apron gone and he sat on the opposite end of the couch. Ten walked across Hephzie and Ford's lap and went to Michael, laid on his back to show his belly, and the dance professor scratched his cat. "So how are things with you? How's business?"

"As dead as a doornail." Hephzie said. "There was a fire n' everythang was destroyed."

"What?!" Michael gasped so loud Ten sat up and lightly bit his hand, not enough to sink his teeth into his hand, but to warn Michael that he didn't like his yelling, but Michael ignored Ten and only petted him down the back. "How on Earth did that happen?!"

"Old buildin'." Hephzie said with a shrug.

"Well, how are you holding up, are you okay? Do you need a place to stay?" Michael asked quickly.

Hephzie laughed. "Ya sound way too much like Ahllen. M'fine, more than fin **e** , actually."

Most of the evening was spent catching each other up on news. Hephzie told Michael about moving in with the Pines family and even proudly showed him her new robotic leg. With a foot up on the coffee table, she rolled her pants-leg back and knocked on the metal. Michael marveled at it and asked if it was an alchemist's experiment gone wrong. Hephzie laughed a little and only said, "Ya can say that." It seemed that either this guy knew nothing about Bill or Hephzie just wasn't going to tell him that she lost her leg because of Bill. Michael soon caught her up on family gossip. While most of Hephie's family was dead or unknown, Michael still kept up with his grandfather's grandnieces and nephews.

According to Hephzie and Michael, Hephzie's grandmother, Georgina Obi Cece, had six yougner brothers, all but two who had their own families, some living in Oregon, some in New York, and some in Ireland. Georgina's mother, Tara Murphy, had moved from Ireland to America all the way back in 1890. Tara still had cousins in Ireland, whom she and her brother, Malcolm, had kept in contact with, and Malcolm kept his son, Malvin in contact with them and Malvin kept his son, Michael, in contact with them. Even though by now the relations were so distant it hardly mattered, it was still interesting to keep up with the family drama. Dipper, Mabel, and Ford were interested in hearing more about Hephzie's family tree and stories Michael had of Hephzie. Apparently, a long time ago, Georgina and her six brothers would have a family reunion with their Uncle Malcolm. Hephzie and Michael were the only ones at the reunions of the same age and would get into mischief.

Around nine o'clock, Michael served them all a delicious dinner called Zharkoye, a hot soup served with sour cream and made from beef, potatoes, carrots, parsley, garlic, and celery. It was amazing and warmed them all up. It was then that Hephzie finally brought up the real reason behind this late-night visit.

"Oh, Michael, are Eve's flowers ready for harvest?"

Michael sat his empty bowl down on the coffee table and smiled. "Yes, actually, they are. Why? Does Ahllen need them already?"

"Yes," Hephzie said and sat her bowl down on the floor, leaving just a bit of broth. Ten began to lap it up quietly. "N' he'd like a report on your Floral Alchemy."

"Right." Michael said with a roll of his eyes and said, "Well come on, then, and I'll pluck some petals for you."

"What are Eve's flowers?" Mabel asked.

"Come n' see, baby." Michael said and led the way through the beaded doorway.

The four followed and saw a kitchen and dining room to the left of the hallway, but to the right was a small staircase. They climbed up to the second floor. A bathroom could be seen through the first door on the right and a closed door suggested a bedroom on the left. Michale opened the remaining door and led the way into a small greenhouse by the looks of it. The balcony was open and filled with wildflowers and ferns. Instead of typical roses and tulips and daisies, though there were some scattered here and there, many of the plants were new; Dipper, Mabel, and Ford had never seen them before. A small tree grew golden apples and red leaves, like fire, and pale lilies grew away from any light. A self full of old books was tucked against a wall, and rocking chairs and stone benches also occupied the room. There was something equisit about the whole room, it was almost like magic.

"Eve's flowers are the rainbow ones over there." Michael said and pointed to a large pot that was growing a bush decorated with lily-shaped flowers with different colored petals. One may be turquoise while one may be maroon while on may be orange and one may be army-green. The colors were at random and the flowers were in full bloom.

"Wow!" Mabel gasped happily at the flowers. "So, what do we do?"

"We pluck the petals so more can grow and be used for potions and medicine." Michael explained. "But first, my price."

"Oh, right." Hephzie dug around the pocket of her jeans and pulled out a small, brown, drawstring bag.

Michael pulled the string open and smelled the bag and sighed. "Спасибо! Paul can't get enough of this tea… then again, neither can I! Right, take as many petals as you need, but don't pluck any stems or ruin the pollen, or new petals won't grow."

"Tha **n** ks." Hephzie said and pulled out a slightly bigger drawstring bag. Like a girl deciding if he loved her or not, she carefully pulled the petals free of the flower and put them in the bag. Mabel and Dipper helped until the bag was full and Hephzie pocketed it. "That should be plenty. We'll leave ya be. Thanks again for the soup."

Mabel hugged Michael around the waist to show her appreciation and he grinned and hugged her back. He ruffled Dipper's hat and shook Ford's hand. "Take good care of Hephzie, alright, and keep her out of trouble."

"One can only do so much," Ford chuckled. "But I'll do my best."

"Send Paul my love!" Hephzie called as they walked down the stairs and to the door.

"Always. Oh! And don't make me wait another four months to see you! Pop by sooner than later, alright?" Michael requested as he stood at the door with Ten and watched them go down the street. It was indeed colder. Tolerable for now, but still uncomfortable.

"Will do!" Hephzie swore, waved, and led the way, holding Ford's hand after he cupped them and blew warm air into his palms.

"I like Mike!" Mabel shared. "He seems nice!"

"Is Paul his friend, or…" Dipper asked.

Hephzie laughed and said in a low voice, "That's what the government thinks, but no. It's illegal for 'em to get married here, but they're as good as. Paul says they're married in their hearts n', for now, that's good enough."

"Aw," Mabel admired. "That's so cute! Wish we could've met Paul."

"He's just as nice if not more than Michael." Hephzie said. "Clean-freak n' extremely polite, he's actually a judge who specializes in murder cases. That's the only reason they keep their relationship on the down-low. While Michael is far too respected at the academy to get fired over somethang like that, Paul doesn't have that luxury."

"I hope they can get married soon." Mabel said.

"Me, too." Hephzie said as they turned a corner. "I wanna be maid-of-honor." The old alchemist led them back to the alleyway they came from and made the door appear again. "Quickly, before someone sees." She hissed and they all returned to Gravity Falls.

They all let out a soft sigh, going from a cold evening in Russia to a warm summer-day in Oregon. Dipper's watch said it was almost eleven o'clock and Mabel let out a gasp. "Oh, no! I'm gonna be late for Gideon and I's makeovers!"

"Have fun." Ford said.

When Mabel ran off for Gleeful's Auto Sales, Dipper turned to Hephzie and asked, "Can I go with you to Pilivark?"

"Unfortunately I'm not goin' until tomorrow." Hephzie said and, rather than turn the key into a tattoo, she got on her knees by some bushes and dug up a small wooden box. "Ford n' I have plans to see Fiddleford today." Hephzie put the key in the little wooden box, reburied it, and drew a small transmutation in the loose dirt with her finger, clapped her hands, and placed her fingertips on the circle. Red light shined, like when Hephzie healed Dipper's leg weeks ago, and the freshly dug and covered hole was gone. "There, that way no one but me can get the key."

"So that's why I didn't…" And Ford stopped himself. He was going to say that that was the reason why he never saw a key-shaped tattoo on Hephzie when he had to undress her and treat her injuries after facing Bill, but he decided against it.

"Okay, well tell McGucket I said hi." Dipper said as he headed into town, thinking he would go to the arcade, and waved Hephzie and Ford goodbye, who returned the friendly gesture.

Dipper's mind was free to think clearly as he walked. It helped to roam the woods that were familiar enough that brought comfort, but still strange enough to be intriguing. Dipper pulled out his journal to finish his notes on Pilivark, Ahllen, his wife, Amka, and Michael. As he shaded sketches and made notes here and there, it started to dawn on him how much all of this was. Hephzie had a whole other world under her sleeve, one she was willing to share with her friends; Dipper had a feeling he had only seen the tip of the iceberg. Still, he knew there would always be something new to explore, and what better way to find those hidden worlds and learn new things than to meet new people. However, even though Dipper was fascinated by alchemy and wanted to learn more, and as much as he liked seeing Pilivark and Russia, he was happy to stay in the place that felt like home and he could only see during the summer, which was over halfway finished.

Dipper mosied into town, still writing in his journal, but keeping his eyes ahead so he wouldn't bump into anyone. Something caught his eye when he turned a corner and he saw bright blonde hair that he immediately recognized. He smiled teasingly, thinking of a good comment to toss at Pacifica, but then his eyes narrowed as he saw what she was doing. There was a man leaning against the corner of the building, but outside a dark, dangerous alley. He wore a black suit-jacket, black pants, and un-polished black shoes, and his face was hidden from Dipper due to a shadow, but he seemed to be talking to Pacifica. He held out a hand to shake when it dawned on Dipper where he had seen this guy before.

"NO!" The teenager ran in between Pacifica, who had given the guy a skeptical look, and the man, and he saw the yellow eyes. He still looked underfed, but he looked relatively clean and had gotten himself nicer clothes that needed better care somehow. Just as quick as when he got between them, Dipper sucker-punched Bill's face Pines-boxing-style, grabbed Pacifica by the wrist, and ran away with her.

"ACK! Dipper, what are you doing?!" Pacifica demanded, running with him, but trying to tug her arm free.

"I'll explain later, just come ON!" Dipper let go of Pacifica and she ran alongside him. They turned corners and ran as fast as they could, nearly bumping into the security-guard for Fractured Skull and even running across the street to try to lose Bill, in case he followed them. They settled for the Lazer-Tag place, and Dipper led the way to the hallway for the bathrooms. After they caught their breath, Dipper hissed with strained eyes, "Listen Pacifica, what exactly did he say to you?!"

Pacifica raised an eyebrow. "Well, I was complaining about how even with my job at Greasy's I can't afford that scooter I wanted. Ya know, the Ultimate Cruiser 29 with coconut taffy and solar powered energy? I'd love for it to be in pink, but I guess purple wouldn't be…"

"Pacifica!" Dipper shouted, but then lowered his voice and winced. He wanted to keep this hush-hush.

"Right, right, sorry," Pacifica shook her head and said, "Anyway, this guy overheard and asked me if I was a Northwest, surely I could still afford it, but then I snapped and told him my parents cancelled all but one of my credit cards, and the max on it is only five-hundred, and the scooter is ten-thousand. So he said he could give me a credit card with a max of one-hundred and fifty-thousand, and it would bill my parents. I thought they kinda deserved it for being so bad, but that guy seemed off, and then that's when you yelled, punched the guy, and made me run in one of my best shoes!"

Dipper pinched the bridge of his button nose. He was becoming more and more like his Grunkle Ford every day. "Pacifica, do you know who that was?! That was _Bill_." He hissed.

Pacifica paled. "W-What?" She whispered. "Y… I… I don't get it. Why would Bill wanna give me a credit card?"

"I think this goes beyond some credit card." Dipper said darkly. "Come on, we're going to see Hephzie."

"Why her?" Pacifica asked as she followed him out of the lazer-tag place.

Dipper held the door open for her as he explained, "She knows Bill better than anyone, better than Ford. She's been fighting him since she was younger than us. She might not know exactly what his plan is, but maybe she can help us figure it out."

"So, what's the deal with him being human?" Pacifica asked. "Mabel told me Ms. Cece had to give up her leg so he could come back as a human, but why would Bill want to be human? Isn't he some all-powerful mind-god or something?"

"Master of the Mind and Devil of the Nightmare Realm." Dipper corrected calmly as he held his chin and thought about it, walking with Pacifica across town and towards McGucket's mansion. "We think he only wanted to be human to get into our world, and now that he's here, we're not sure what his plan is. He'll probably want to create a rift to let his minions in here and give him his full power, but I don't really see him building a portal to make that happen."

"Didn't he tell your uncle how to build it, though?" Pacifica asked. "If he knows everything, couldn't he build his own portal?"

Dipper thought about it. His eyes widened as he realized that they left the spaceship unguarded, but then he relaxed a little when he also remembered that he, Ford, and Stan had visited the spaceship to get parts for Hephzie's leg, and they hadn't met Bill there or saw any sign of a portal being built. Dipper didn't really understand Bill at all. Maybe Hephzie was wrong. Maybe his commonality with Bill wasn't… wait, she said wisdom, not smarts. Well, Dipper didn't feel wise right now.

"I don't know for sure." Dipper admitted, not looking at Pacifica, but he led the way proudly and said, "But we gotta tell them what Bill tried to do. Together we can figure this out."

"Right." Pacifica agreed, sticking with Dipper, and trugging behind him. "Uh, by the way, why are we heading up to McGucket's? I thought we were going to the shack."

"Hephzie and Uncle Ford are visiting McGucket." Dipper said as they reached the open gates. They broke into a run up to the door and Dipper knocked.

It took a few minutes, McGucket probably busy telling a story or curious as to who was at his door, but he eventually answered and beamed at the kids before giving them a bone-crushing hug. "Dipper! Pacifica! What a surprise!"

"Sorry to barge in, McGucket," Dipper said as he rubbed his aching neck. "But we need to talk to Hephzie and Ford."

"Uh, sure." McGucket stepped aside and led the way to the same room he had Mabel, Dipper, Ford and Hephzie visit before. The old couple was sitting in rocking chairs, sipping coffee, and gave Dipper worried looks.

"Dipper, my boy, what's wrong?" Ford asked sternly.

"I just met Bill in town, Dr. Pines." Pacifica explained. "He tried to make a deal with me, only a credit card, but Dipper stopped him before I could even really think about it."

Ford and Hephzie raised their eyebrows and McGucket gasped lou **d** ly. "Bill tried to make a deal with you?" Ford repeated. "That's… that's extremely preculear."

"That definitely lines up with my theory." Hephzie stated as she sipped her cup.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I was 'bout to explain it at our meetin', but Ahllen needed me." Hephzie elaborated. "I wanted to do this all at once, but… but I believe Bill has a plan to use the zodiac to his own advantage."

"How?" Dipper asked.

"Remember what I said 'bout the zodiac, how it can be used to summon him n' banish him? I think he's gonna try to use the zodiac to open a new rift n' cause a second Weirdmageddon." Hephzie said gravely.

The temperature in the room dropped ten degrees. Dipper pulled out his phone and started to text Mabel. "We need everyone here for this."

"I agree." Ford said and stood up as he fished around his trenchcoat for his phone. "I'll call Stanley. Soos and Wendy are with him."

"I got Robbie's phone number." Pacifica said and whipped out her cell phone with a pink case.

"They can all c'mere." McGucket invited. "I know it ain't got no unicorn spell, but nobody can snoop on us from up here."

"N' after the meetin' I'll have a little chat with Ahllen." Hephzie said. "I've got big plans for him."


	33. Dqrwkhu Wlph, Dqrwkhu Sodfh

Mabel and Gideon came as soon as they could, having just finished watching an episode of the game show _Blind Date_ as they ate cookies with lemonade. Soos drove Stan and Wendy to the mansion with his truck. Robbie rode on his bike; he was the last one to arrive at the manor and sit in the living room. Hephzie, again, stood and had a board with the zodiac ready. McGucket sat at the desk, Ford and Stan stood by him, Soos and Wendy had two of the rocking chairs, and Dipper, Pacifica, Mabel, and Gideon all sat on the couch, leaving Robbie the last rocking chair. He sat with his arms crossed over his chest, ready for whatever was in store.

"Thanks 'gain for hurryin', everyone, n' I apologize for the way our last meetin' ended." Hephzie said professionally. "To recap, y'all know more 'bout the zodiac know, n' how it can be used for great good n' great evil, but recent evidence has led me to cook up a theory as to what Bill's plan is. Bill, in his true state, is very powerful, but not all-powerful. Even during Weirdmegeddon, he still relied on deals. He can't tamper with free will. If somethang is to be done for his gain, it must be done freely."

"So he makes deals to get what he wants." Dipper concluded. "And to have control over what we do."

Hephzie nodded. "That's right. At one point, a person may feel that they have nothin' left to give, or feel as if they have given so little that it has no effect, but both scenarios are wrong. Ya can always give somethang more, but it is never little n' always have it's own great effects. With that being said, a deal goes far beyond a handshake when it comes to Bill. A binding contract that can't be broken is made, n' when it's made, if chosen to go to the extreme, that free will can be taken, for that is what ya have given to make a deal with Bill."

"WHAT?!" The whole room gasped.

"That doesn't make any sense!" Stan yelled. "We give him what he wants so we'll get what we want, end of story!"

"I must stress that Bill's laws n' how he deals go far beyond our realm of both dimensional n' understandin'." Hephzie said firmly. "He's been aware of these laws for billions of years - a trillion, actually, since his creation - so the idea that mere humans can comprehend how his powers work is… well, let's just say good luck to anyone who tries. My theory is, if the dealers are part of the zodiac, there is somethang more you're tradin' away than a puppet or a good night's sleep. Since ya ten are part of the zodiac, part of somethang directly connected to Bill, to make a deal with him is a way of submission. If a member of the zodiac makes a deal with him, even if the conditions of the deal are done, there will always be a toll to pay for making the deal at all. Think… think of a tax. Yes, ya may pay a certain price for an item, but ya gotta pay the tax, too. N', unfortunetly, cuz of fate n' the responsibilities donned on ya, ya are given a heavy tax."

"Our free will." Ford muttered, horrified.

"B-B-But this is just a theory, right?" Gideon asked, sweating and tapping his hands nervously. "Ya don't know for sure, r-r-right?"

"You're right, I don't." Hephzie said. "However, given Bill's pattern for the last thirty-seven years, I think there's somethang like it. Bill will happily make a deal with anybody, but for some reason, he seems to be targeting ya ten. Think. How far was he willing to go to make a deal with ya?"

Dipper shared his experience with the room. "I… I was trying to unlock McGucket's laptop. I didn't know the password. I couldn't figure it out. I tried everything and stayed awake for days to try to get in. I got so sleep-deprived I started eating my own shirt. Mabel was too busy with her sock opera to help me, and when I only had one more try, Bill offered to help me. He said he'd give me the password if I gave him a puppet. I thought he was talking about one of Mabel's puppets. Since she refused to help me in the first place and after everything I've done for her, it seemed like a fair trade, so I shook on it, but he said _I_ was the puppet, and he used my body to try to destroy the third journal."

Hephzie nodded solemnly, grabbed some chalk, and made an X over the pinetree.

"I made several deals with him years ago." Ford said in a low voice. Hephzie drew an X over the six-fingered hand.

"I gave him the rift," Mabel admitted. "But I didn't shake his hand. Does that count?" She asked.

"Let's play it safe n' assume that it does." Hephzie said and drew an X over the shooting star.

"I made Bill go in Stanley's mind." Gideon said. "I also made a deal to be his right-hand man if he ever came through. Since I was a prisoner in this world, in his world I would be free." And Hephzie drew an X over the pentagram.

"I let him into my mind." Stan grunted and Hephzie drew an X over the crescent.

Hephzie turned back to the group. "Anyone else?"

Wendy turned to Robbie and said, "Alright, spill it. Where did you _really_ get that CD?"

"What?!" Robbie yelled. "I didn't trade my soul for that disk! I told you, I ripped it off some goth band, YoungBlood."

"Oh, those hot vampires?" Mabel clarified.

"So, you never made a deal with him, dude?" Soos asked with a shrug.

"No!" Robbie huffed.

"Right," Hephzie said, moving on. "Well, if Bill's doin' what I think he's doin', he's tryin' to make deals with everyone here so he can use the rodiac to create a new rift. Since ya four didn't see his human form," Hephzie pointed at McGucket, Robbie, Gideon, and Pacifica. "It would've been easy to pretend to be somebody else n' make a deal for, say, a credit card."

"So," Pacifica said as she looked at the board, "All we gotta do is make sure the rest of us don't make deals with him?"

"Exactly." Hephzie said. "We'll have to prepare you three for what he looks like now…"

"He's a skinny black dude with yellow eyes." Soos started.

"Oh! He's wearing a suit now. Kinda dirty and clearly bought it where Stan get his suits…"

"Hey!"

"But he probably stole it or made it himself with his weird voo-doo powers." Pacifica finished.

"A skinny guy with a suit?!" Robbie repeated. "DANG IT! I think I _did_ make a deal with him!"

"What?!"

"It was last night! It was dark and I was heading home and some crazy squirrel jumped out in front of me. I swerved and hit this guy's car. It wasn't bent, but it had scratches on the paint job. I was just about to make a break for it when this guy came up and said it was his car. I groaned and tried to say I was sorry, but then he smiled and said it was cool. We shook hands and I left before he could change his mind."

Wendy punched his arm sharply. "You didn't think to check his eyes?!" She shouted.

"It was dark!" Robbie yelled. "I was just thankful he wasn't gonna call the cops!"

"Quiet, both of ya!" Hephxzie scolded. "What's done is done."

"HONEY FOGELIN', SALT-LICKIN' SKULLDUGGERY!" McGucket suddenly screamed, making everyone jump and look at him as he slapped his hands on the side of his head. "I shook his hand the other night! I thought he was just a hungry fellur, so I bought him a meal n' he thanked me n' we shook hands!"

"Alright, arlight," Hephzie eased. "We're all at fault, just hold on." She drew Xs over the broken heart and the glasses. "That leaves Llama, Ice, n' Question Mark."

"Phew!" Soos breathed. "Well, we've seen him, so there's no way we'll ever make a deal with him. We're safe."

"Don't jump to that conclusion." Hephzie warned. "Just cuz he can't trick ya that way don't mean he won't try 'nother way. He might blackmail ya or use other people to do his biddin'. With only three targets left, Bill's gonna be more determined now than ever to make deals. Ya gotta prepare yourself. Not to make ya paranoid, but who's to say he won't trick one of your family members n' use 'em to make deals? But remember this: Bill takes advantage of those who feel like they're at their lowest point, but you'll find _that_ is when you're open to the greatest change. He'll try to take advantage of your wants, the things that make ya feel like ya belong or make ya feel whole. He'll try to make ya feel alone so all ya can do left is rely on him, but I can't stress this enough. None of y'all are _ever_ alone."

Soos, Wendy, and Pacifica nodded with smiles. Soos knew he had a surrogate family with the Pines, as well as a grandmother who loved him very much. Wendy had a huge, noisy, crazy family that, sure, stressed her out, but she never felt alone. Pacifica may not have the best family, but she had amazing friends to turn to now.

"What about us?" Dipper asked. "What should we do now that Bill's made deals with us?"

"Hope is not lost." Hephzie said encouragingly. "Just cuz you've made a deal with Bill doesn't mean your value is any less. We can still aid in the delay of his work. For example, I think a certain someone dominated the unicorns…"

"Wendy and I can get Candy and Grenda to help!" Mabel said and stood proudly with her fists on her hips.

Ford stood up, too. "I think that's a great idea. I have plenty of mercury, but I'm a little short on moonstones…"

"I know where we can get plenty." Hephzie said. "We should also prepare for the worst. I don't want us to throw in the towel just yet, but if Bill only needs to make a deal with three people, we should prepare for a Weirdmageddon II. How's the bunker?"

"Could still use some work," McGucket said. "But me n' Tate can get back to work on it…"

"I can help, too!" Dipper volunteered.

Soos puffed out his chest proudly. "I can, too, dudes!"

"If you're doing that, I guess I can manage the shack." Stan grunted. "I'll also restock on brown meat and other supplies."

"So what are we supposed to do?" Pacifica asked, pointing to herself, Gideon, and Robbie.

"Robbie, you'll help with the bunker." Hephzie instructed. "Wendy, once you've got the hair, they'll need your help there, too. Gideon n' Pacifica, once they got the hair, help Ford n' Mabel build spells for the cemetary, Gleeful's car lot, Pacifica's house, Soos' place, Wendy's cabin, n' the manor. I wish we could do all of Gravity Falls, but the spell isn't powerful enough for the whole town. We'll be lucky if so many spells can hold at once in so many different locations. Until further notice, keep your loved ones close, your eyes peeled, your head down, n' your spirits high. We'll give Bill Cipher a run for his money yet!"

Everybody cheered, encouraged to give their all, except Robbie who growled, "What about you? What are you gonna do, besides bark orders at us?"

Hephzie crossed her arms over her chest. "I'm gonna have a chat with an old friend n' guarantee his help if worse comes to worse."

"What do you mean?" Mabel asked.

"Did ya really think I hid in the caves during Weirdmageddon, lettin' innocent people get turned to stone while I hid like a coward with nothin' but my dog?" Hephzie laughed harshly. "No! I spent those hellish days tryin' to get Ahllen n' his army to launch a counterattack on Bill n' his goons, but before he could agree to it, the problem had been resolved. I may be General, but he's still King, n' I have to have his approval before I can command the army to do anythang, but if I can get him to agree to help us, that should at least assure that people won't get turned into a throne of human agony."

"We'll have a whole army on our side?!" Gideon gasped.

Hephzie laughed, this time more genuine. "Ya already do! Let's not forget the maniacs of this town. Sure, most of 'em got turned to stone, but we're lucky to have good friends outside of our circle willin' to help. What 'bout Candy n' Grenda? What 'bout the Multibear? Several Times? The fight against Bill, for the safety of our home n' loved ones, goes beyond a zodiac n' the people destined to fulfill it. As scary as it may be, this town may have to prepare itself, once again, for war."

The whole room cheered this time, ready, confident, and prepared to fight again, if needed.

* * *

The next day, everyone was busy. Hephzie was nowhere to be seen, but the Pines knew exactly where she was. The minute Wendy came to the Mystery Shack, she and Mabel ventured out to meet Candy and Grenda in town and then go to the magic part of the forest for the unicorns' secret doors. Soos came with Wendy to the shack and he left with Ford and Dipper to meet the gang at the bunker to help. With Robbie, McGucket, Tate, Ford, Dipper, and Soos all working together, by the time the girls came by, unharmed this time and with bundles of unicorn hair in each girls' hands, there wasn't much left to do but maybe sweep and get blankets for the beds. Mabel excitedly decided to knit blankets to give her a new knitting project.

The group split up for lunch. Ford, Stan, Dipper, and Mabel were talking about the bunker, pleased that it was completed and ready in case of an emergency, over ham sandwiches, when the door opened and closed. "Ford? Ya home?"

"In the kitchen, darling."

Mabel and Dipper smiled and Stan pretended to gag as Hephzie hurried to Ford, kissed him in greeting, and then grinned at the three. "Good! You're all here! C'mon, I'm takin' ya some place pretty special!"

"Where are we going?" Dipper asked.

Hephzie winked at him. "The best kind of prizes in life are the surprises."

"Did Ahllen say yes to helping us?" Mabel asked with her cheeks full of food, like a chipmunk.

Hephzie's face dropped and she sighed. "No. In fact, he's decided that there needs to be a meetin' to decide if the Pilivark army will aid or not. I'll have to go back tomorrow, but if I can convince Amka n' Hephzibah the Second, than the army will come."

"Why doesn't he want to help?" Mabel asked as she pouted. "I thought he was our friend."

"He is," Hephzie said quickly. "He's even offered to build a special base in Pilivark for us to retreat to, but he wasn't willing to open his home to anyone else n' he doesn't want to send his people on these grounds. He's worried they'll get hurt, or even die, if they agree to it. It's a lot harder to agree to go to battle when it's not exactly your problem. Apparently, the idea of innocent people gettin' hurt is not enough, as long as it's not their own people. Then again, we are no better."

Mabel was confused, and honestly Hephzie was, too, but the brunette didn't want to talk about it anymore, so she nodded, drank some Mabel Juice, and asked, "Can't you tell us where we're going?"

"All I can say is we're goin' back to the mountains." Hephzie said with a smile and rubbed Ford's shoulder. "Now hurry up n' eat! We got a big errand to run!"

"Your girlfriend's starting to scare me, Sixer." Stan sneered into his soda can.

Ford only rolled his eyes.

Dipper wondered if he would ever get tired of walking to the mountains for Hephzie's surprises. Mabel, as a game, kept trying to get her to tell them where they were going, but she wouldn't budge. At one point, Stan picked his niece up, sat her on his shoulders, and told her to drop it or he would drop her. Mabel only laughed and played with his tassel.

"So, do we need to keep this a secret, too?" Dipper asked.

"Let's just keep this on a need-to-know basis." Hephzie said lightly. "You'll see why soon enough."

She led Dipper, Stan, Mabel, and Ford to the same place she always had, but instead of digging up the key, she let go of Ford's hand, pulled out her sword from her scabbard, dangling from her hip, held the blade, and ran her hand through it, much like what she did to give blood to the ingredients that would later make Bill's body. She ignored the Pines' gasp for concern and the way Ford stepped forward and Hephzie wiped her hand on the side of the mountain. She pocketed her sword, clapped her hands, and her hand was healed, but as she did all this, the rock dissolved like acid had fallen on it and soon made a hole to walk into the mountain.

"After y'all." Hephzie said and gestured for them to go in first.

Stan put Mabel down and they walked in. They found themselves in a small hallway. It was empty, except for a torch that hung on the wall. Hephzie clapped her hands, touched the torch, and it made a flame at the top. She picked it up, knocked her knuckles on the wall of the mountain, and the hole began to close.

"Welcome to the secret tunnels that leads straight to our secret location." Hephzie said. "You're the first people in over forty years to be shown this place. Not even Ahllen's kids know."

"What is it?" Dipper asked as he looked ahead and saw a small wooden door. "A maze?"

"No, it's a long tunnel that runs deep into the mountain." Hephzie explained as she led the way ahead with her torch. "There's three obsticals ya gotta get through to get to where we're goin', that way no one can just stumble in here."

"I don't think anyone would think to cut themselves and smeer their blood on the side of a mountain, Dreadlocks." Stan pointed out.

"You'd be surprised." Hephzie said and opened the little wooden door. It led to a small room that resembled a cave, but it had a huge door with two torches that were already lit on either side. It had golden handles with lion-heads.

When Hephzie used one of the handles to knock, the lions both said in a dead-pan voice, _"Which came first, the chicken or the egg?"_

"It's a continuous cycle, with no beginning n' no end." Hephzie said calmly.

 _"Precisely."_ And the door opened, only to reveal one directly behind it, just like the other one.

"It's a Riddle Door." Hephzie explained. "Ya gotta solve three. It likes to give riddles that people are bound to fight over the answers 'bout, though. Keeps people from gettin' through if ya think too much 'bout it or are too stubborn to accept that ya might be wrong."

"That's very clever." Ford awed. "Did you make this or did you find it?"

"Ahllen n' I made it."

"What happens if you answer wrong?" Stan asked.

"Nothin'. That way ya learn, or ya get frustrated n' leave." Hephzie said and knocked.

 _"Where do missing objects go?"_

"Anywhere, everywhere, n' nowhere." Hephzie answered.

 _"Poetically phrased."_ The door opened to reveal one more just like it. Hephzie knocked one more time. _"What is the most powerful force?"_

"Gravity." Dipper blurted out, like he was back in class.

 _"Incorrect."_

"Compound interest." Ford guessed, remembering something Einstein once said.

 _"Not quite."_

"Love!" Mabel cheered.

 _"Absolutely."_ And the door opened, but this time it revealed a small passageway, not another door.

The men "oh"ed over Mabel's answer. Hephzie chuckled and led the way with her torch. The passageway was made of rock and stone, being the inside of the mountain, but small cave paintings started to decorate the walls. Hephzie led the way to a plain wooden door and opened it. She let the visitors through and they all gasped at the next obstacle.

Twenty feet away was the door, a big emerald-colored door with silver handles and rims, but it was separated from the door by a giant lake. It dimly glowed blue, and when they peered into the water, geodites swam around. The bottom was littered with bones and, unless their eyes were deceiving them, it looked like something big was asleep and hiding in the shadows. There was no bridge and the cave was empty of tools.

"How do we get over there?" Dipper asked. "Do we… do we just swim?"

"Geodites are harmless." Ford stated, bending his knees to observe the water. "However, I still don't like the conditions of this water."

"Man, if only the _Stan O' War_ was here." Stan said sarcastically and snapped his fingers.

Mabel got on her knees by the edge, just three inches short of touching the top, and she brushed the water with her fingers. It felt cool, but nothing seemed intrigued by her hand being in the water. She turned to ask Hephzie, "Are we supposed to swim?"

Hehzie shook her head. "No, it's impossible to swim in this water. If ya tried, ya'd never get anywhere. No matter how hard ya kick or paddle, ya would never get any closer. The water's enchanted like that."

"Oh." Mabel stood up and shook her hand dry. "So how do we get across?"

"Ya walk."

"Excuse me?" Stan asked with a skeptical look.

"Okay." Mabel said with a shrug and walked on.

"MABEL!" But the men held their breath; instead of sinking, Mabel walked on the water like it was glass. The water rippled under her shoes and she made a soft splashing noise with the water, but she did not make her shoes wet.

Mabel gasped and grinned. She even did a little dance, but she did not sink. "Holy Moses!" The teenager gasped. "I'm Moses!"

"Close!" Hephzie laughed and walked up to her, walking on the water naturally. "You're walkin' on Ahllen's greatest experiment: Moses Water. As long as ya keep the faith, you'll walk across it just fine. Watch!" Hephzie ran ahead and then slid, like she was ice-skating. She pushed and spun, skating on the water. She twirled and laughed.

Mabel ran up to her, tripped and fell, but did not sink. She only laughed and said, "I was never good at skating."

Hephzie held out her free hand, her other holding the torch. Mabel took her hand, and together they skated. Dipper cheered them on and then decided to give it a try. He carefully walked onto the water, but found it just as natural as walking on any floor. The teenager was reminded of the marble floors at the manor. He ran and slid, standing still and whizzing by, holding his hat in place. He laughed and joined his sister. They held hands and skated, even doing a figure-eight.

Hephzie walked back to the elder twins and held out her hand for her boyfriend. "Ya trust me?" She asked with a smile.

Ford smiled slyly, nodded, and took her hand. He skated with her quite well and found himself chuckling over the fun he was having. As he slid, he bent his knees and ran his hand on the water to touch it. It was like the lake was a cooking pan with an inch of water in it. The water splashed as little as he whizzed by and kept his hand down, but his hand could not plunge deeper, unless Ford tried, but he didn't try. He and Hephzie turned and the old scientist called out, "Stanley! Give it a try!"

Stan swallowed, took in a deep breath, and stepped on the water. He did not sink, so he took a few steps forward. After the third step, he suddenly sunk. The Pines gasped, but Hephzie was calm as Stan splashed. He wadded, frustrated, and tried to swim forward, but it was like Hephzie said; no matter how hard he tried, he stayed at the same spot. He growled, punched the water, and yelled, "Now what?!"

Hephzie chuckled good naturedly, walked up to him, held out her hand, and said, "Ya lost faith. Do ya trust me?"

Stan looked at her and her hand. He wasn't too sure. He had no reason not to trust her, given everything she had done for him and his family, but it was all starting to become too much. She knew way too much about Bill to be comfortable and she could probably kick Stan's butt no problem and she was getting really close with Sixer. Still, he would call Hephzie his friend, and he knew he had to trust her. He took in a deep breath, nodded, and took her hand.

Hephzie gently pulled him up, and it was suddenly like the water was solid again. Stan stood up and Hephzie walked with him, holding his arm, towards the door. "Everyone! Head to the door, please. We can always come back later."

Dipper and Mabel raced to the stone ground. Mabel won. Ford walked with Stan and Hephzie and when they arrived, Mabel opened the door. Another small passageway was before them, leading to a small wooden door, much like the others, but this tunnel had a coat rack full of dusty blue towels. Hephzie shook one free of dust and draped it over Stan's shoulders. He grunted his thanks and they continued on. Mabel opened the door, excited to see the last cave.

It was bigger than the last one. Leading to a huge, bronze door with twin wolf statues on either side, was a gorge. This one was thirty feet across, with one small stand that had a five-feet radius. It was skinny and small and there was no way anyone, not even Dipper, could jump across to the small pillar and then to the door. Again, there were no tools and no bridge.

"Is this Moses Air?" Mabel asked as she looked below them. It was completely dark.

"No." Hephzie said sharply. "That's a twenty feet drop with no means to escape. This is the most dangerous part of the tunnel. It's straightforward, really. Ya gotta figure your own way across."

"I'm assuming you already have a way across." Ford said.

"Oh, I do." Hephzie said and sat at the edge, her legs dangling. "But let's see how y'all would solve this."

"Easy!" Mabel said and pulled out her… "GRAPPLING HOOK!" Mabel grabbed Dipper, aimed her grappling hook at a stalactite dangling from the cave, clicked, and the hook wrapped around it. Mabel ran and swung herself and Dipper across, one yelling in delight and one yelling in terror, and making it to the other side safely. Mabel retracted her weapon, let go of Dipper, and yelled victoriously, "Grappling hook!"

"Well done, Mabel!" Hephzie shouted.

"Nice work, pumpkin!" Stan cheered.

"Are you alright, Dipper?" Ford asked, noticing that the teenager seemed a little weak on his feet.

"I'll be fine." And he sat against one of the wolf statues to calm his racing heart.

Hephzie stood up, backed up to the door they came through, focused, and then broke into a run. Rather than run ahead and jump, however, she ran so quickly and so elegantly that she ran on the wall of the cave and landed right at the edge of the next cliff. She ignored everyone's staring and looked back at Ford and Stan. "Your turn!"

"Say hop!" Dipper called. "It helps!" And then he laughed at his own little joke.

"Very funny, Dipper." Ford commented and held his chin. "Now, how can we get across? We're not agile, we don't have a grappling hook… my magnet gun is too dangerous with the door, it might rip it off the hinges…"

Hephzie laughed a little, clapped her hands, got on one knee, touched the edge, and as red lightning crackled, a bridge began to form. It was made from bricks that were being formed by the red rock that surrounded them, and it connected to the small pillar and then to the side Stan and Ford were stranded on. When it was done, Hephzie stood up and dusted her hands off. "A little alchemy also helps."

Ford grinned and walked across the bridge with Stan behind him. Dipper and Hephzie both opened the large doors and they came across one last passageway. It was longer than the others, but it didn't have a door; instead it had a single curtain hanging from the top. Hephzie led the way to it and held it to the side.

"Welcome to the Fighter's Forge, Pines!" Hephzie proudly announced.

They were at the top of a large set of stairs that went down into a giant, vast, tall room. It was like being in a huge cylinder, the room being round and the ceiling being high. The floor was even stone, but a black circle was carved in the center, as big as the circle Hephzie used to make Bill's body. It was blank, so it could be used for anything. To the left and right sides were nearly identical desks. The one on the left had pictures of Allen and his family on it and a display of a king's armor in a glass case. The one on the right had a picture of Fiddleford's wedding and what looked like a treasure chest next to it. Hephzie carried the torch to an unlit one by the curtain-door, and that and all the torches scattered on the wall lit magically. Hephzie took the torch to the desk on the right, her desk, and planted it like a lamp. She pulled out a drawer that held paper and pens and rummaged through it for a bit. She then laid out some blueprints and left the desk for the stairs.

Under the stairs, it looked like a solid wall, but a transmutation circle had been carved onto the side. Hephzie clapped her hands, touched the circle, and like an ironing board from a closet, a blacksmith's table folded out. Hephzie then clapped her hands and touched a different transmutation circle that was carved on the side of the wall. A hole on the wall and a hole on the ground appeared, and then hot lava flowed out like a river, spilling into the hole on the ground calmly and never spewing.

"Wow!" Mabel cried out. "This place is amazing! What do you do here?"

"Many years ago," Hephzie explained as she opened a small drawer in her desk and pulled out a pair of thick black gloves. "Ahllen's people n' the other anomalies of Gravity Falls were at war. Before Ahllen n' I changed our minds n' refused not to hurt anyone, we worked together to help Ahllen's family. I was imaginative, he was resourceful. We learned from each other, n' we began to make weapons."

"You made _weapons_?!" Dipper and Mabel gasped at the same time with shining eyes.

"That's right!" Hephzie said, now with her black gloves on, she grabbed a brown satchel and put it over her shoulder and then she carried a rope with a knife tied to one end. The old alchemist then began to climb the wall like a sticky-fingered frog. She talked as she climbed up high into the ceiling, and when the Pines family looked at the ceiling, they noticed that it was almost entirely covered with gems. "Ahllen n' I built this place to use alchemy to build special weapons. Ya can shoot Bill like any other guy if he's here in a physical form, but these weapons will be designed to hurt him, physical form or not. Now, Dipper, Mabel, y'all were born on August, right?"

"Uh, yeah." Dipper said as he watched Hephzie climb all the way up the ceiling, now upside down, and she began to use her special black gloves to dig up gems.

"Perfect! I love workin' with peridots! Such a lovely color, n' they tend to bring truth n' purity, very appropriate for the task at hand." Hephzie narrated as she pulled out a shiny army-green tirange-shaped peridot and pocketed it in her satchel.

"Are you making _us_ weapons?!" Mabel asked as she jumped around.

"Why else would I've brought y'all here?" Hephzie laughed. "N' we'll need aquamarines n' opals. Let's see… you're June, so pearls are necessary. Oh! Better grab some garnets n' rubies, too. N, I guess I better make myself somethang. How 'bout a diamond n' some topazes?"

Stan stared hungrily at the ceiling littered with diamonds, rubies and sapphires, emeralds, and any other gem you can think of. "So, uh, how many of those ya got in here?" He asked as he rubbed his hands together.

"Oh, quite a lot." Hephzie explained as she gathered the gems in her satchel. "I can grow 'em much quicker here, using alchemy n' the special material here in the mountain. Another grand Gravity Falls' anomaly." And with that, Dipper pulled out his journal and began to sketch what he saw.

"What are you gonna make us?" Mabel asked.

Hephzie stabbed the knife tied with the rope into the ceiling tightly, and used it to slide upside down like a superhero with spider-based powers. She dangled directly in front of Ford, sneered at his starting with a "take a picture, it'll last longer", kissed him, and then did a flip standing up. She tugged hard on the rope and the knife fell. She let it dangle from her shoulder and walked to her desk, ignoring Ford's gasping expression like a fish. "I have some prototypes in the chest I was thinkin' of finishin'. Ford, you're an inventor. Wanna give me a hand?"

Ford shook his head to clear it and said, "Of course! Let's see…"

Hephzie peeled her gloves off, put them in the drawer, and opened the chest. Ford peered into it and the two began to work together. "Here, I thought Dipper would like this. A lot of prototypes in here are camouflaged weapons, made to look like everyday objects."

"Hm, this is quite impressive. This one coudl still use some work. Do we have any metal to work with in here?"

"Of course, I just have to harvest it."

"Right, well we will need some iron, and maybe some platinum."

Dipper entertained himself by sitting at Ahllen's empty desk and writing in his journal. Mabel observed the cave paintings on the wall, enjoying the stories they told, while Stan looked hungrily at the gems and was thinking of a way to take them home. They all jumped when suddenly Hephzie had a huge hammer with her and she slammed it down on the blacksmith's table. Ford was reading blueprints and giving input. It was nice to see the two working together.

"Alright, ladies first." Hephzie called and Mabel skipped to her. "Here, this is yours." The old alchemist gave the teenager what looked like a silver folded hand-mirror. It was encrusted with tiny aquamarines and one big triangle peridot in the middle.

Mabel held it carefully; it was probably the nicest thing she owned. She looked up at Hephzie with sparkling eyes. "Thank you. Thank you very much!" She breathed.

Hephzie smiled and offered, "Why don't you press that little button on the side? Not the switch, the button."

Mabel looked to see there was a switch that would release the lid and open the mirror, but also a tiny button next to it. Mabel clicked it and two blades shot out from the sides of the hand-mirror. Mabel grinned and threw it. It swizzed like a boomerang, left a deep cut on the stone wall, and then flew back into Mabel's hand, blade-less. "Wow!" Mabel cheered and grinned at Hephzie and Ford with sparkling eyes and teeth. "That is so cool! Thank you so so so much!"

"You're welcome." Ford said and lightly ruffled her hair. "Just be careful with it."

"Dipper," Hephzie called gently and held something in her hand.

Dipper went up to her and she gave it to him. It looked a lot like Mabel's mirror, but not quite. It was silver and it did have a big peridot, but it was decorated with opals instead of aquamarines, and Dipper quickly saw that it was a yo-yo. Dipper hooked his finger on the loop and threw the yoyo. This was not a toy for kids; the second it left Dipper's hand, it shot out sharp spikes from every direction, looking like a gray sea urchin, and it hit and rolled on the stone ground so hard sparks flew. When Dipper retracted it, the spike withdrew and the yoyo landed in his hand safely. "This is so cool! Thanks!"

"That one was Ahllen's idea." Hephzie shared and smiled proudly. "He never got 'round to finishin' it, but I think you'll make better use of it. Now, I wanna make Stan somethang..."

They spent all afternoon in the forge, making weapons to help fight Bill and his goons. Not only did Stan get golden brass knuckles that acted more like suited gloves, encased with spikes, a pearl, and rubies, Ford got something extra special. Hephzie used special cloth to make Ford six-fingered gloves, but these gloves had the backs of golden armor decorated with a big pearl and several small garnets so he could throw a good punch if needed, but inbetted in the cloth of Ford's palms were transmutation circles.

"Since you're not an alchemist, ya can't use the gloves." Hephzie explained as Ford slipped them on. "So, I input my own alchemy. The circles will think it's me transmutatin', not ya. It's a simple yet powerful shield spell. Just put your hands out n' a clear shield will aid ya n' anyone else ya wanna protect. Here…"

Hephzie threw a punch, but Ford put his hands up to stop her and she hit a clear shield that jiggled like distrubed jello, yet it stayed firm and Hephzie could not touch Ford, no matter how hard she tried. Ford lowered his hands and grinned, excited to try these on the battlefield.

Mabel and Dipper also got one more weapon, more so from Ford than Hephzie. Ford gave Mabel a black hairband, but when she flicked it and straightened it out, like a slap bracelet, a small pocket-knife poked out from one end of the headbanned. Ford explained that the blade would only eject if Mabel straightened the band, so there was no risk of her cutting herself while she wore it. Mabel hugged him tightly in thanks and wore her black headbanned proudly. Dipper was given a pen Ford had an idea for awhile now, but never took the time to make. It could be used as a regular pen, but if Dipper held the button, tiny cords shot out and worked as a taser powerful enough to knock the Multibear out.

While Ford had made the kids' gifts, Hephzie had climbed back up to the gems and collected more than enough moonstones for the unicorn spells. Hephzie then firmly told Stan to leave the gems alone to be used later. Stan looked ready to con one, but Ford grabbed Stan by the ear and dragged him down the tunnel for the exit. Mabel and Dipper laughed and followed, and Hephzie brought up the rear, smiling at her forge and proud to have shown the Pines family such a secret treasure.


	34. Mld Sv Xzm Hgirpv

The morning after Hephzie showed the Pines the forge, the five sat around the table for breakfast. Hephzie and Ford sipped coffee and Stan read the newspaper while Mabel and Dipper talked about their plans for the day. They were planning on meeting Gideon, Pacifica, Candy, and Grenda at Gideon's house to start building unicorn spells to protect the gang's minds from Bill's tricks. Hephzie had to go back to Pilivark at noon to try to convince the Royal Family to help fight against Bill if he should ever return to full power. Ford and Stan had plans to meet up with McGucket at his manor and work on some inventions.

There was a knock at the door, one that sounded harsh and urgent, and then a voice. "General Hephzibah Cece! Come out with your hands where we can see them!"

Hephzie rolled her eyes. "Oh, c'mon."

Mabel stared at her friend with frightened eyes. "Hephzie…"

"Don't worry, sweetie, I'll handle this." Hephzie calmly finished her coffee, stood up, and went to the door. The Pines followed and watched from the kitchen doorway.

Hephzie opened the door and two Manotaurs stood guard and one said, "General Hephzibah Cece, by the Counsel of International Alchemists and the Royal Family of Pilivark, you are under arrest for committing the ultimate taboo and alchemy's one unforgivable sin."

Hephzie raised an eyebrow and said, "Are ya serious? The Royal Family?"

"Unfortunately, yes." The second one answered. "Your hands, please."

Hephzie sighed tiredly and held her fists up to the Manotaurs to handcuff her. "Let's get this over with."

And the Manotaur click a special kind of handcuffs on her, the kind that domed over her hands, like cups. "I'm sorry, General."

"Yeah. Me, too." Hephzie said coldly.

"Hephzie?" Mabel asked timidly and the old alchemist turned to look at her. "What's going on?"

"Are you…" Dipper couldn't finish.

Hephzie looked at the teenagers sadly and sighed before explaining. "I… I'm sorry, but my day-long visit to Pilivark is gonna be longer than expected."

Ford stepped forward to defend his girlfriend. "Gentlemen, please, there must be some mistake…"

"I'm sorry, sir, but King Ahllen has given us direct orders to bring her in." The first Manotaur said gravely. "She will be given a fair trial and a chance to defend herself in time, but she has proven to be a danger to herself and the world and, therefore, must be contained."

"Wow, way to one-up us, Missy." Stan sneered.

"But what will we do without you?!" Mabel asked in panic. "Who's gonna help us take down Bill?! How are we supposed to master the zodiac without you?! Who's gonna teach us about who made the zodiac and whatever?!"

Hephzie smiled sadly. "Ya were fine without me before. Ya can do it again."

"I don't WANNA do it again without you!" Mabel yelled and hugged her around the waist. "You're our FRIEND! We GOTTA do this WITH you!"

"Aw, Mabel," Hephzie moaned and bent her knees. She couldn't hug her, being handcuffed, so she rested her forearms on Mabel's shoulders to keep her close. "I'll always be with ya, when ya think of me. I know it doesn't feel like it, but Gravity Falls has a special way of givin' help to those who ask for it n' need it most. Y'all will be just fine, n' before ya know it, I'll be back. But first I gotta do what's right."

Dipper walked next to Mabel and asked, "But what if they find you guilty for… whatever you did?"

"Than I still gotta do the right thing." Hephzie said quietly and moved her arms so Dipper and Mabel were inside her arms and hugging her goodbye. "Take care of each other. I'm so happy I got to know ya this summer."

Mabel and Dipper escaped from her arms reluctantly and sat on the stairs to watch from a safe distance.

Hephzie smiled at Stan and nodded at him with a smile. "Thanks for the poker games n' trips to Fractured Skull, n' for lettin' live here. Everyone's lucky to have ya."

Stan coughed in his fist and gruffed, "Yeah, just… be careful out there. It's tough behind bars."

"I know." Hephzie looked at Ford, who looked at her with heavy brown eyes. Not with tears, but emotions.

With every passing second, the fact that Hephzie was arrested and might never come back was weighing Ford down. He knew he would have to say goodbye at some point, but he had hoped he had more time. There was so much he wanted to say and do, but as he stood there and Hephzie looked at him, he was speechless. He opened his mouth a few times, but no words came out.

Hephzie chuckled with a weak smile. "What? Don't I get a kiss goodbye?"

Ford shut his eyes, was still, but then rushed to her, put one hand on the back of her neck and the other on her back, and kissed her. Hephzie kissed deeply; in her mind, this may be their last kiss. When Ford broke the kiss, he said, "Be careful. Tend to your leg. Don't do anything rash."

"I've already been rash." Hephzie replied.

"Still," Ford said firmly. "I… I… that is, if… I mean…" And he bit his lip, out of words.

Hephzie smiled and said, "I love you, too." She gave him one last kiss on the cheek, and turned to the Manotaurs.

The Pines stood on the porch and watched Hephzie and the Manotaurs walk down the dirt road. One Manotaur put a hand on Hephzie's shoulder and the other tapped a tattoo shaped like a key to transform it into a real key, used it to draw a door on the floor, and it magically transformed.

Hephzie looked back and called, "Oh, n' will someone please feed Everest while I'm gone?" And then she and the Manotaurs jumped through the door and were gone.

Mabel hugged Dipper, who rubbed her back, and he sighed to himself. He looked up at Ford, who had an odd look on his face, one that was rigid and worried, and the teenager asked, "Grunkle Ford, do you know what is alchemy's unforgivable sin?"

Ford sighed heavily and combed a six-fingered hand through his charcoal-gray hair. "Not exactly, but I do know that human transmutation is taboo."

Dipper's eyes widened. Mabel looked up at Ford. Stan yelled, "What?! So she's arrested for making Bill that stupid body?!"

Ford nodded solemnly. "There is overwhelming evidence that Hephzibah performed human transmutation. I can't say for certain if the reasoning behind what she did will change anything…"

"Hephzie said that what we do and our intentions don't matter nearly as much as how it affects the world around us." Dipper remembered. "Does doing something bad for the right reason justify doing something bad?"

"But Ahllen is like a brother to her!" Mabel pointed out optimistically. "He'll stand up to her, right?"

"I don't know how much power he has over what happens to her, sweetie." Ford admitted helplessly. "I think…" He took in a deep breath and said, "I think we should prepare ourselves for the worst."

Mabel shook her head in disbelief and her Grunkle Stan brought her into a tight hug to make her feel better. Dipper rubbed his arm and looked out at the woods, but then he looked back out at Ford. The last time he had seen his old hero looked this devastated was when Hephzie almost died from blood loss.

But life has to go on.

Dipper and Mabel walked to the Gleeful car lot with their heads lower than normal. It was slowly sinking in that they may never see Hephzie again. Dipper got an idea, remembering that Hephzie left behind her Alchemist's Key, but only an alchemist could get it, and no one but her knew alchemy. Maybe if Dipper studied really hard, and Mabel helped him… it was worth a try after building unicorn spells at Gideon, Soos, McGucket, Wendy, Robbie, and Pacifica's houses.

Gideon opened the door when Mabel knocked and let them into the living room with a cheerful greeting. "Mabel and Dipper Pines! C'min, c'min! Ready to show Bill what we're made of?"

"I've got the moonstones and hair!" Mabel cheered and shrugged so the backpack on her jiggled and made noise. Pacifica got up from her chair and Candy and Grenda got up from the couch.

"Excellent!" Candy cheered. "I've drawn a map." She pulled it out and showed her colorful drawings. "I was thinking after we do the Gleeful family's house we can move to the cemetery, then Soos, then Pacifica, then go out into the woods to do the Corduroy house and then finally the manor."

"Sounds great." Dipper said. "Ford taught me exactly how to activate the spell. The moonstones and mercury has to be scattered throughout the house, and then the unicorn hair has to be glued to the outside of the house. Candy, you give me a hand with the hair. Gideon, help the girls find convenient places to put the moonstones and mercury, somewhere where they won't be moved or messed with."

"Can do!" Gideon said and everyone dispatched to get to work.

All day the kids worked together to build unicorn spells in the desired homes. After a magical dome went over Gideon's house, they moved onto the cemetery. Thankfully, there was a short brick wall circling the land, so Dipper and Pacifica worked together to glue unicorn hair on the wall so no zombies would pop up during Weirdmageddon II and Gideon, Mabel, Candy and Grenda buried moonstones and mercury, pretending it was graves for pets. A dome went over the cemetery and the Valentino house, and so it was onto Soos' house. Abuelita gave the kids cookies and let them use her creepy porcelain angels to hold the moonstones and mercury while Dipper and Grenda glued on the unicorn hair (Grenda broke three angles in the house so they decided that it was her turn to work with Dipper outside).

The kids then went to Pacifica's house. It was still really big and really nice, but it was definitely not a manor. Again, Dipper and Grenda glued on the hair while Pacifica showed Gideon, Mabel, and Candy where they could put the moonstones and mercury. They quickly left to avoid a sour-faced Mr. and Mrs. Northwest and moved onto Wendy's house. Mr. Corderoy was too busy cutting down trees with his sons to care about a spell or a gang of kids wanting to put one around his house, so they hid piles of moonstones and mercury under the floorboards, the one thing in the house Mr. Corderoy didn't constantly break, and quickly put a line of unicorn hair around the house so they could get to their last destination: McGucket's Hootenanny Hut.

When Mabel knocked on the door, McGucket smiled and nodded. "I figured it was y'all. C'mon in, n' I'll show ya the best spots to put the thingy-majigs."

Pacifica was also of some help, having grown up in the manor, and Dipper and Candy worked together and had just enough unicorn hair to shield the huge house.

McGucket smiled proudly at the kids and Stan and Ford emerged from the living room, who had been working on a project with McGucket when the kids arrived, and the old inventor said, "I'm mighty proud of y'all kids. Ya done a good job doin' what ya can 'bout that triangle fellur, even if he ain't no triangle no more."

Mabel smiled bashfully and held her hands behind her back. "Thanks. I just wish Hephzie was here to see it." She added sadly.

"Why can't she see it?" Pacifica asked.

"Did Bill get her?" Gideon asked worriedly.

The Pines exchanged looks. Ford and Stan had just told McGucket everything Hephzie had shown and told them, but the kids were a different matter. Honestly, it was a lot, and as much as they didn't want to lie, sometimes it was best to give only the basics.

"Hephzibah was arrested this morning." Ford said. "She… um… angered some people up north and…"

"You mean Ahllen?" Grenda asked.

"Hephzie told us stories at our sleepover." Candy explained.

"I thought they were friends." Pacifica said.

Poor Lil' Gideon was lost.

Ford sighed and said, "They are, but Hephzibah broke a law and so Ahllen's people had to arrest her. We don't know if we will ever see her again." He concluded gravely.

Pacifica stared, her wrinkles under her eyes more apparent. Gideon hung his head sadly; he may not know all the details, but he understood that his old piano teacher was gone and was sorry. Candy and Grenda both gasped and covered their mouths. McGucket, already knowing this, patted Ford's shoulder reassuringly.

"I can get her the best lawyer money can buy." Pacifica said strongly.

"We'll charge the city gates!" Grenda yelled.

"We will be no such thing." Ford said firmly. "The voices of a handful of teenagers and an average lawyer who doesn't know the first thing about alchemy hardly stands a chance against the entire counsel of Pilivark. I'm sure Hephzibah has a plan, whether to win the case or… or… or say goodbye."

"It's so unfair." Candy pouted, crossing her arms over her chest. "She was always so nice and compassionate and helpful."

"She's totally cool and tough!" Grenda added.

"I know I was less than pleasant to her back in the day," Gideon said, twiddling his hands. "But I learned a lot more than how to play the piano from her."

"I know." Ford said, agreeing with everything that had been said, and then he took in a deep breath and added seriously, "But she left us with a job to do, and I know her well enough to know that she would be very disappointed in us if we didn't put our best foot forward and did everything we could to defeat Bill once and for all. She wasn't confident in our abilities to keep another Weirdmageddon from happening entirely - not to our own fault but because Bill is so manipulative and powerful - but she was confident in our ability to band together and banned Bill and seal the rift when the time does come. All we can do now is delay the inevitable."

The kids all nodded. Mabel muttered, "I still miss her."

Ford nodded and put a polydactyl hand on her shoulder. "I know. I miss her, too."

* * *

 _"Duck-tective! Your ex-fiance has disappeared under mysterious circumstances!"_

 _"Quack-quack!"_

 _"As pleased as I am, as well, we must find her!"_

Stan scratched himself, pantsless and alone, but his attention was drawn from the TV to his great-niece when she walked down the stairs and into the living room in her socks and purple floppy-disk over-sized t-shirt. She crawled up into Stan's lap and he opened his arms to her and hugged her, just like they always did when they banded together to watch Duck-tective.

Mabel watched the episode for a bit, and then commented, "I still think season three isn't as good as season one and two."

"No contest." Stan agreed. "But what's better, getting another half-decent season or nothing at all?"

"There's always reruns." Mabel pointed out. "This episode isn't too bad, but last week's was awful!" Mabel and Stan halted their commentary as Duck-tective and Constable tried to recover the duck's ex-fiance and it wasn't until the commercial break that Mabel spoke again. "Grunkle Stan?"

"Hm?"

"Wanna box with me tomorrow?"

Stan raised his eyebrows at her and smiled. What he made sure to note was that Mabel didn't ask for private lessons, she asked if Stan wanted to box with her. "Sure thing, pumpkin, but fair warning, I won as many trophies for boxing as Ford did for science and spelling bees and whatever else he did in grade school, so you're dealing with a professional."

Mabel gave him a sly look that Stan swore she inherited from her great-grandmother. "I know, but I also know I can kick your butt."

"Oh, ho!" Stan growled and ruffled her hair playfully. "Alright, Missy, you're on! What, are you gonna hug me to death?"

"Maybe!" Mabel said, hugged him, but then tickled his ribs as she had her arms wrapped around him.

"N-No! You little troll!" Stan laughed and tried to tickle her back or wiggle free from her arms, but Mabel was not giving in.

After awhile, Mabel let the old man go and she laughed alongside him. While the TV aired a public service announcement from the GFPD, Stan took the opportunity to ask, "What made you wanna box with your old hero, anyway?"

Mabel shrugged casually. "Hephzie taught me how to fight and… I just thought I'd try it out and keep practicing, even if… practice makes perfect!" She said optimistically and grinned.

Stan smiled proudly. He had an idea or two of where Mabel's head was. "Yeah, I figured she was teaching you a thing or two? What did she teach you?"

"Basic martial arts." Mabel said. "She said her Grandpa always wanted to make sure she could take care of herself, so since she was a little girl she took classes, kinda like how you and Grunkle Ford took boxing lessons."

"Gotcha." Stan said and patted her back. "Well, can't wait to see what she taught you, pumpkin. And, just for the record, you can always come to me if you need a sparring buddy or some more lessons or something." He tried to bring up the idea nonchalantly, but Mabel was an insightful young lady.

She smiled and hugged Stan once more. "I'd like that. And just so you know, I didn't ask Hephzie and not you cuz I didn't think you could teach me or anything, I just… it was kinda nice, having another girl around. I saw her practicing one day and I was kinda spying on her, but she caught me and then offered to teach me. After that we did it a lot together and it was fun."

"Hey, no hard feelings here, sweetie." Stan said honestly, and Mabel could tell that he was being honest. "You're a tough gal, and if you're more comfortable with kung fu or whatever than boxing, that's up to you. Heck, I don't care how to throw a good punch as long as it hurts real good."

Mabel laughed with him and they paused as the Duck-tective episode was back and was actually looking pretty good, so they watched with only subtle comments here and there.

There was a knock at the door, but before Stan could get Mabel off his lap and answer it, Ford, who had been in the kitchen sipping coffee and reading, answered it. The two spirited twins listened.

"Tulok, Amka, what are you doing here?"

"Ford Pines." A female voice said, which Mabel recognized as Amka the Second's, Hephzibah the Second's daughter and Tulok's younger sister. "Mama H sent us. May we…"

"Of course, come in, come in."

Stan turned off the TV and Mabel ran to the door. Tulok and Amka walked in and Ford closed the door behind them. They both wore black cloaks to blend in with the night and looked rather shaken. They smiled at the girl their age and Mabel grinned back.

"Hey guys!" Mabel said and Dipper came down the stairs to join the party. "What's going on?"

"Mama H has been arrested." Tulok said seriously.

"We know." Ford said. "We were with her when it happened. What have they done to her? What's the plan?"

"The trial is tomorrow at sunrise." Tulok said, his staff in hand, and he spoke with a soft tone of authority that it was easy to tell that this teenager would be king someday. "We haven't much time. If Grandfather discovered we were here… oh, boy."

Amka looked at Ford and dug around her satchel. "She requested we give this to you." The twelve-year-old pulled out a scroll tied with brown string and held it out to Ford. He took it, pulled the string loose, unrolled the scroll, and smiled with shining eyes.

"Grunkle Ford, what is it?" Mabel asked.

"It's a letter, sweetheart." The old scientist bit his lip, rolled it up, and pocketed it in his trenchcoat. "Please, can you wait a few minutes so I can write back?"

Tulok looked hesitant to disobey Ahllen longer than needed, but Amka quickly said, "Of course! Take as long as you need! We will wait!"

Ford hurried to the card table, pulled out some paper and a pen from his coat, and reread Hephzie's letter to him before writing a single word.

"How do your trials work, anyway?" Dipper asked. "How will they decide if Hephzie's guilty or innocent?"

The Pines led the way into the living room and Stan sat in his chair, Mabel sat in his lap, and Dipper sat on one of the arms. Amka borrowed two chairs from the table and pulled them by Stan's armchair to sit and talk.

"There are two parts to our trials." Tulok explained. "There is the council, occupied by the Royal Family and appointed officials, and the audience. At the trial tomorrow, King Ahllen, Queen Amka, Princess Hephzibah, Prince Aput, and Chief Qimmiq will listen to the prosecution and the defense, and then determine if Mama H is guilty or innocent. If she is found guilty, they will determine her sentence by asking the city of Pilivark what they deem a just punishment for her."

"They do this so, say the public does not agree with the council, they can give a merciful punishment to the convicted." Amka stated. "Say they find Mama H guilty, but the public favors her too much to kill her, they might sentence her to life in prison or make her a community slave."

"What's a community slave?" Dipper asked.

"She will be bound by chains and forced to work for Pilivark for life." Tulok stated gravely. "There is honor in it, but not much. If there is a battle, she will be on the front lines and certainly killed instantly. If no battle takes place, she will simply work hard for no pay or food until she dies."

"And that is consider merciful?!" Ford demanded, listening as he worked on his letter.

"It is the most merciful punishment the public can give someone if found guilty for such a high-crime." Amka said. "The idea is that it gives the criminal a chance of redemption and the city a chance to show mercy by building friendships and providing food and shelter. There are low-crimes, theft, vandalism, minimal laws that are handled with short sentences or hard non-life-threatening tasks to teach the guilty a lesson, but high-crimes, like murder, treason, or committing the taboo is dealt with either community slavery, life in prison with little food, water, or interaction, or death."

"That's completely barbaric." Dipper said quietly.

"So is sentencing someone for using natural herbs as a drug for years while someone who penetrates another person's body is let go." Amka snapped. "You have your system, and we have ours."

"Amka," Tulok scolded. "Keep your temper under control."

Amka growled and then cooled down.

"Will… will they find her guilty?" Mabel asked. "After everything… she's family, isn't she? She helped build Pilivark, didn't she?"

"Exactly," Tulok agreed with a solemn nod. "Which is why they will be very strict on her at the trial. She has to set an example. If they show mercy to her, even for all the good she has done for our people, then they would have to show mercy to everyone. To squander any idea of favoritism, the council is more strict on those with higher status than whose without."

"But will they find her guilty?!" Mabel repeated more urgently. "They said… she's arrested for performing human transmutation, right?"

Amka and Tulok winced at the phrase, but recovered and nodded.

"What if she did it for the right reasons? What if she didn't have a choice? What if she did it to protect and help people?"

"You don't understand." Amka said and shook her head. "No one could unless raised by alchemy's laws. It's… if Mama H really did do it… she did, didn't she?"

The Pines nodded, all except for Ford, who was writing his letter and focused solely on his girlfriend.

Amka put a hand over her mouth and her eyes welled up with tears. "Oh, why?! Why did she have to cross such a horrid line?!"

Tulok laid his staff down on the carpeted floor and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "There, there, little sister. I'm sure there is a reasonable explanation for all of this." The young prince looked at the humans and asked, "Please, what exactly happened to make her do it?"

"It was Bill." Mabel blurted and then quickly told the story of how Hephzie lost her leg.

Afterward, Tulok said "I see" calmly and Amka blinked her eyes dry. "We were raised knowing about Bill. The children of Pilivark see him somewhat as your Lucifer. Some don't believe, some do, but all know better than to have anything to do with him. If what you say is true…"

"If Bill provided the spirit, than this is unlike any human transmutation our people have yet to encounter." Amka said as Tulok let go of her. "There is a reason it is taboo."

"Isn't it cuz you play god when you do it?" Dipper asked.

"That is part of it," Amka answered. "But it is… well, it used to be considered impossible, but… in the past, people have performed the taboo as a way to bring back the dead."

"Like zombies?" Mabel asked.

"Worse." Tulok said. "A story we were told… well, Ahllen was told and told Amka and I, but it gave us nightmares and Mother was furious and so no one really tells this story anymore, but the tale goes that there was once a man who loved his wife more than he loved the air in his lungs. One day, a sickness took her and, with only five years together, she died. Driven mad with hopeless longing for her, he spent years studying alchemy and pushing the limits, until one night he attempted to bring his wife back to life, building her a new body with alchemy and calling her spirit back. However, the man's eyes were gouged out from his skull as payment and his wife was nothing more than a pile of bones and a poor sack of misshapen flesh. They say the wife stretched a hand for her husband, dislocated her limb, and it fell limp as a bone pierced her heart and killed her again."

There was silence, and then Stan broke it. "Geez, no wonder your ma was mad at this Ahllen guy for telling that story."

"It is a fact that when a mortal dies, they have only two options: roam the Earth for all time or go on." Amka stated. "Many choose to go on, but some decide to stay, and these souls are the ghosts you see commonly here in Gravity Falls. The ones that go on go to where they're actions in life sentence them. To force a peaceful soul back into a body, only to experience unimaginable pain and die again is too cruel to allow. There are many other reasons why this is taboo, but these reasons are the basics."

Tulok tapped his staff thoughtfully. "But if Bill was the soul… did the transmutation work? Was his body functional?"

"As far as we know." Dipper said with a shrug. "He looks like a normal guy, except for his eyes."

"He must have incorporated some of his own power into the transmutation to make it work." Tulok theorized. "Even if, say Mama H wanted to make a body for a ghost, it still wouldn't work. Morals are only capable of humanely creating life through reproduction, that is why our people value family and love so much. Death is permanent, nothing changes that, but if Bill is immortal, that… that changes things about the transmutation."

"Look, we know it worked." Stan stated bluntly. "But will that prove Hephzie guilty or not? Does that change anything for her?"

Tulok and Amka exchanged looks, similar to the kind of looks Stan and Ford or Dipper and Mabel exchange. Then Tulok said just as plain as Stan, "Mama H is charged specifically for performing human-transmutation. If she is proven to have done so, she will be found guilty."

"The people are grateful to her," Amka said full of sorrow. "But she has always been an outsider, and she has lost the trust of many due to her actions. I… I am not sure what will happen to her, but I doubt highly that she will be a community slave."

"She can't if she can perform alchemy without a transmutation circle." Tulok said.

"I'm sorry, what?!" Ford asked and looked at the visitors.

"Yeah, is that even possible?" Dipper asked with his fists on his hips. "I thought you have to have a circle to perform alchemy."

Tulok and Amka exchanged looks again, and then the prince said, "There is a theory, a legend, that if an alchemist sees The Truth, they become the matrix."

There was a pause, then Stan said, "I don't get it."

The owl clock chimed nine times. Amka jumped up. "Oh, NO! Grandfather will be furious with us if he ever found out we did this! We have to go home!"

"Here," Ford stood up and handed her a folded sheet of paper. "If you can, give this to Hephzibah. And, thank you for her letter."

Amka, who looked panicked and frantic, smiled a little more relaxed and carefully took the letter, pocketed it in her satchel, and shook Ford's hand. "You are very welcome. Tulok and I simply had to see her. I know Grandfather will be angry, but it is worth it to do what is right."

"Come," Tulok said and led the way to the door. "If we hurry, maybe we can have Fiona deliver the letter and no one need never know we left Yuka and Tonraq with Aunt Pana."

"Do you really think she will keep her word?" Amka asked as she put on the hood of her black cloak.

"She has been sore at Grandfather since the battle." Tulok said. "This is her little revenge towards him." The young man nodded to the Pines and said, "Thank you for your hospitality. We will send word if we can. I hope we will meet again soon."

"Come back anytime." Dipper said with a smile and a nod.

Tulok and Amka smiled, and then ran into the night.

* * *

Stanford was walking down the street in the downtown area, past the library and the history museum, for the old piano store that sat at the edge of the woods. Stanford knew there was a large garden around back where Hephzibah grew vegetables for her family and flowers to sell or give away, but the soft music of a piano told him that his best shot of finding Hephzibah was in the shop, so he opened the door to Pianos For People and was greeted by a little ding from the hanging bell.

Stanford enjoyed his limited time in the piano store. Often in here to request help from Hephzibah, he did occasionally stay for a piano lesson or two or a cup of coffee. The store smelled of fresh wood and flowers. Pianos of various sizes and styles filled the room, making it a little cramped, but the music helped to solve that. Stanford looked to the left and saw his friend playing a piano that faced the door so Hephzibah could look up and greet whoever entered her family's store. She did so to Stanford, smiling and then looking back down to play.

"Hey, Fordsie! What's up?" She asked as he walked up to her and stood by her left shoulder to watch. "Need any help?"

"Not today." Stanford said and bent down a little, his hands behind his back. "You're very good. What is this piece?"

"It's an original." Hephzibah said and Stanford noticed the hand-drawn music sheets on the stand of the old piano. "Just playin' 'round with an old song today."

"Impressive." Stanford said and read the notes Hephzibah had drotted down. "Really, it's beautiful, Hephzibah."

The young lady with dreadlocks smiled with rosy cheeks. "Thanks." She paused, picked up a pencil, changed a note or two's placement, and then played again.

Stanford sat next to her on the bench when she moved over a little and he decided to get to the real reason he had come to the store. "So, my old college buddy, Fiddleford McGucket, is getting married in a month."

"That's great!"

Stanford nodded and pulled out the cream colored envelope from his trenchcoat and cleared his throat nervously. "He has asked me to be his best man, and according to his invitation, I'm allowed to bring a plus-one."

Hephzibah slowed her music down a bit and looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "N' ya want me to go with ya?"

Stanford shrugged. "Would you? I understand if you wouldn't want to go, but I would feel a lot better about going if I was going with a friend." True, Fiddleford was a closer friend of his than Hephzibah was, knowing Fiddleford for five years and Hephzibah for only one, but Fiddleford was going to be too busy getting married and entertaining family members to keep Stanford company, and though he had met Fiddleford's five brothers and little sister, Stanford knew he would quickly feel out of place at the wedding full of southerners and farmers. Hephzibah, for some odd reason, was comforting. She was quick-witted and calm and collected. She was also hot-headed, scattered, and unpredictable. She made Stanford laugh and he never felt pressured or uncomfortable around her. Having such a good friend with him would help with this anxious trip.

Hephzibah smiled and darted her eyes from the piano to Stanford as she talked to show that he had her full attention; she was just enjoying the song too much to stop, and honestly Stanford was enjoying the song too much to be bothered by the fact that she was multitasking as they talked. "Yeah, sure, I'll go with ya. Where is it, anyway? Maybe we can take my bike."

Stanford sighed with a blushy smile and rubbed the back of his neck. "Actually, it is in Tennessee. We would have to take a plane to Chattanooga and then have Fiddleford or one of his brothers pick us up and take us to Athens."

Hephzibah's smile dropped. "Oh."

Stanford guessed that her concern would be, initially, to be so far away from her grandparents, but he recognized that kind of "oh" and knew that his suspicions of there being no way Hephzibah could afford a plane ticket were confirmed, but he was unfazed. "Don't worry, I can cover the ticket and the hotel room."

Hephzibah gave him a careful look. "Are ya sure?"

"Consider it as my thanks for going with me." Stanford said with a smile. "I think that's fair, isn't it?"

Hephzibah smiled and nodded. "Fine, but expect a fight for the check when we get somethang to eat." She challenged.

Stanford rolled his eyes with a small smile on his lips. "Fine. And you're sure it will be alright to leave your grandparents for a few days?"

'They'll be fine." Hephzibah reassured him calmly. "As long as I call 'em when we land n' what-not."

Unfortunately, Hephzibah would sit at a table alone sulking during the wedding reception; sulking was an activity she usually thought she was above, but Hephzibah allowed herself to sulk this one time.

She should have known better than to attend this wedding. The last wedding she went to had been miserable, as well. Her close friend, Alfred, had gotten married, unaware that Hephzibah had a huge crush on him, probably even loved him at one point, but she had kept her mouth shut and lost her chance and was even his bridesmaid. She had even been close to crying when she saw Alfred and his bride dancing together and the only thing that made her feel any better was talking to her other close friend and roommate, Havier, and playing with his baby girl, Rosa. Havier would get married soon, too, and now that Rosa had a stepmom, she didn't need Hephzibah around to look after her, and around the time Alfred had gotten married, Grandpa called Hephzibah to request that she comes home to help take care of things. With her friends all moving on their their lives and being unable to be accepted into any medical schools, Hephzibah surrendered and left L.A. for Gravity Falls. She had felt incredibly lonely, up until she met Stanford.

Now that sinking feeling of loneliness and isolation was coming back. Hephzibah felt so alone as she watched all the couples dance. She knew no one here, except for Fiddleford, but everyone wanted to talk to the groom, and Hephzibah only knew him through Stanford so she felt like she was at the bottom of the priority list. Not to mention she was the only black person at the wedding and she was surrounded by southerners. Now, most of them didn't fit Hephzibah's worst-case-scenario profile, but one old lady, Fiddleford's Great-Aunt Prudence, was extremely rude, first thinking Hephzibah was only there to serve drinks and then being astounded she could even read, let alone go to college.

There was something else. The pastor who spoke for Fiddleford and Madeline's wedding did a beautiful job with the ceremony, and as Hephzibah stood behind the bride in her army-green dress, she felt at peace, but the pastor said one or two things that rubbed her the wrong way. Things like "you can't get warm in bed if you sleep alone" and "pity those who go through like without a spouse to lean on in times of trouble". The pastor did a great job praising marriage and congratulating the happy couple, but he may have done so too extremely, to the point where he was belittling anyone who was single.

Hephzibah felt like she was at rock-bottom. Living with her grandparents, running a debted piano store, taking care of a mentally handicapped old lady, paying off college debts for a degree she would never use, no friends, and she was already twenty-three years old and probably doomed to be forever alone. Hephzibah felt heavy, like a thousand pounds were on her shoulders. No one would probably even care if she left right now and walked back to the motel. Stanford was a smart guy. He could find his own way back no problem. Hephzibah didn't know if she felt sad or relieved that no one would care if she left the wedding. She just felt like wasted space.

Meanwhile, Stanford was chatting with one of Fiddleford's brothers as the brother averted his attention to someone else and the best man listened to the conversation. Stanford looked around the barn and, all the way in the back, Hephzibah sat alone. He could tell that she was only alone because no one bothered to be with her, not that she chose to be alone. She rested a cheek on her fist as she sipped champagne. She looked bored, lonely, lost in thought. Stanford wondered why she wasn't out on the dancefloor; she loved music. Then the six-fingered explorer noticed that it was a slower song, and it came to him that no one probably wanted to dance with her.

Stanford had no idea why this would be the case. Hephzibah was smart, brave, beautiful, an impressive fighter, and a loyal friend. Stanford's next thought was to make her feel better and dance with her himself, but the idea scared him. He was a social cripple. He didn't feel comfortable dancing. What if Hephzibah took this to mean he liked her? He didn't! They were just friends! Still, Hephzibah was a very understanding person. She would understand that. And Stanford felt obligated to do something nice for her. She agreed to come to this wedding with him, and she had been amazing company.

And so, Stanford put down his glass and walked over to Hephzibah's table. He held out his hand to her just as she looked up at him. "Would you like to dance with me, Hephzibah?" He asked with a voice that trembled only slightly.

Hephzibah smiled and nodded. "Yeah, I'd like that." And she took his hand and walked with him to the dancefloor.

The second Stanford was out there on the dancefloor he regretted his irrational decision to step out of his comfort zone. He didn't like to dance, believing he was not gifted with rhythm, and now he was about to make a fool of himself in front of a lot of people. He slowly turned red and let Hephzibah gently guide him. Sensing his nerves and wanting to help, she put one of his hands on her waist and held one of his hands, her free hand on his shoulder, and they both swayed to the music. Stanford thought he might look stupid, but it was somewhat enjoyable and Hephzibah was smiling and looked much more comfortable, so it was a fair price to pay for a friend who was willing to go to such great lengths for him.

Stanford opened his mouth to thank her, but Hephzibah beat him to the punch. "Thanks."

Stanford smiled. "Thank you for joining me. You're an amazing friend."

Hephzibah shrugged bashfully and she danced with her friend. The music picked up a little bit and Stanford decided to try his hand on something slightly more complicated. He let go of her waist to spin her slowly and Hephzibah giggled as she went along with it. Then they grabbed hands and swayed to the music happily. At one point, Hephzibah spun Stanford, making them both laugh, and they just did what they wanted and had a good time, unaware of Fiddleford's Great-Aunt Prudence's death glare, unaware of Fiddleford and his wife smiling at them, unaware of the others dancing around them, each couple in their own little world.

When the song was drawing to a close, Hephzibah and Stanford somehow found themselves holding each other, hugging as they swayed. Stanford wasn't much of a hugger, so he was surprised when his senses came back to him and he was hugging Hephzibah, but he supposed he could let this go. When the song finished, to have fun and release some tension, Stanford let go of Hephzibah and kissed her hand, bending low and making fun of fancier traditions.

"Well, Ms. Cece, thank you for accompanying me to such a fine dance, or, as the common man would say, shin-dig." He said in a snobbish-voice.

Hephzibah snorted a laugh and bent her knees, bowing to the man. "It was the highest honor, Sir. Stanford Pines of the Northwest Kingdom."

Stanford chuckled and Hephzibah found it contagious and started to laugh, too. They both left the dancefloor and casually chatted for most of the evening.

However, when they returned home, when Hephzibah was sitting at dinner with her grandparents, Grandma was looking at her in a funny way, but Hephzibah ignored it and continued to eat, in case her grandmother was simply deep in thought.

But then the old lady blurted out, "Sweet Lord, Hephzibah's in love."

Grandpa choked on some water and coughed into his napkin. Hephzibah turned red and bit her lip. She and Grandpa were very careful whenever they corrected Grandma, being in a weakened mindstate and not wanting to belittle her. "N-No, Grandma," Hephzibah said gently. "I'm…"

"Yes choo are!" Grandma declared happily. "You're in love!"

Grandpa, a usual very happy and cheerful man, was suddenly a little angry over the idea of someone taking his Half-Pint, and he managed to calmly ask, "What makes ya say that, Georgina?"

"Oh, just look at her eyes! They're shinin' the way your's shine 'round me!"

No one said another word over dinner, Grandpa and Hephzibah thinking too much and Grandma having said all she wanted to say.


	35. Orrn Rxw Iru Krsh

Ford jumped off of the couch in his room and hit the floor when a pounding knock came at the front door. He groaned and rubbed his pounding head while Everest the Saint Bernard dog ran down the hall, barking. Another urgent knock at the door ran through the house. Ford rubbed his strained eyes and looked out the window. The sun wasn't even up yet.

At the same time, the younger pair of twins were being woken up by the barking and knocking. Mabel yawned and Dipper pulled the pillow over his head to try to drain the noise and go back to sleep. Stan swore colorfully and slipped on his slippers and bathrobe to yell at whoever thought to knock like a policeman. But then a voice yelled that caught everyone's attention.

"Pines, please! We have something for you!"

They all recognized it as Tulok's voice and ran. Ford made it to the door first, with Stan behind him and Mabel and Dipper at the bottom of the stairs. Standing on the porch was Tulok, Amka, Yuka and Tonraq. Tonraq held Amka's hand and Yuka had the phoenix, Fiona, on her left shoulder.

"Thank goodness." Tulok sighed with relief. "We thought you would want to see the trial. Is there a place we can observe it privately?"

"Yes!" Ford said and he and Stan moved out of the way. "Come into the living room! You can use the TV…"

"No, we do not need a television." Amka said as they walked in. "Lock the doors, block the windows, do anything that will prevent an intrusion."

Mabel played hostess and led Hephzie's godkids into the living room. She had them sit at the card table and soon they were joined by the Pines men when all the doors were locked and every window was covered. Dipper even flipped every photograph away or face-down.

"How are we gonna see the trial?" Stan asked. "And who are the extra munchkins?"

Ford remembered that Stan hadn't met the younger kids and said, "This is Yuka and Tonraq, Amka and Tulok's siblings and Ahllen's grandchildren."

"We wanted to see the trial in person," Amka explained. "But Grandfather actually forbade us from going. Usually he would let Tulok and I go, but he doesn't trust us enough." She snarled and crossed her arms over her chest.

"He knows we will be bias." Tulok said. "This only proves to play in your favor. Even Mama H doesn't know. We decided that we would find a way to make sure you saw it. You're her family, too. You deserve to see it."

"But _how_?" Dipper pressed.

Yuka grinned and smiled at Fiona. "Ready?"

The bird nodded and then flew in the middle of the room. She floated for a moment, but then flew in a circle over and over and over again, picking up speed as she flew until she was nothing more than a ring of fire that was up like a mirror, but rather a reflection, it revealed at the center an odd courtroom.

It was feeling up with giants, elves, centruars, humans, and Mortamigi; the room was a circle, like the forge, and they were sitting in the larger part of the courtroom, along the wall on stadium-like seats. The seats covered the entire wall except for the giant front door and the front one-third of the room, that being occupied by a high-sitted table for the council to sit on. At the center of the room were two small desks, much like a typical American courtroom. The audience members were the only ones present so far. For the ones in Gravity Falls, it was like watching it on TV.

"We thought we would watch it with you to help explain things." Amka offered.

"Thank you." Ford said and looked seriously at the four children, especially Amka and Tulok. "Really, thank you. You didn't have to do all of this."

"We know." Tulok said and sat his staff down by the table. "We wanted to. Any friend of Hephzie's is a friend of ours."

"You're all very anxious." Tonraq said. "I can hear your heartbeats. They're too fast."

Stan looked at the kid's blind eyes again and said, "Guess you got good hearing, huh?"

Tonraq grinned. "I do. I can hear the faintest breathing or heartbeat, I can feel anyone presence in a room by the temperature of their body heat, and I can smell anyone within a mile from me. I may be blind, but I can see."

"That's so cool!" Mabel said. "How old are you?"

"I'm eight."

"I'm nine!" Yuka shared. "And Tulok is fourteen and Amka is twelve!"

"Hush!" Amka said and all eyes were on the trial. "Look! Grandfather, Grandmother, Mother, Uncle Aput, and Uncle Qimmiq have arrived." And they came from one of the two smaller back doors.

This was the first time the Pines saw any of Ahllen and Amka's sons and daughters. Princess Hephzibah the Second had long hair and a stern face, taking after her father heavily. She wore a nice but simple dark-red dress. Prince Aput had a softer expression and short hair. He wore a brown tunic and clean white shirt with brown pants and polished shoes. Chief Qimmiq was a big, muscular man with his long back hair tied into three braids and scars all over his face and body. He wore a thin shirt and pants with a million pockets. The Royal Family all wore maroon cloaks with their hoods down as part of the uniform if on the council. King Ahllen sat in the center, with Queen Amka at his right hand, his daughter at his left, and Qimmiq sat next to his sister while Aput sat next to his mother.

Ahllen did not pick up a gavel, but instead a small gong and mallet. He barely touched it, but it rang loudly and the room was silenced. "On the twelfth of August of the year two-housand and fourteen, the Council of Pilivark's Justice System brings forth General Alicia-Sarah Hephzibah Fisher Cece for trial."

The back door the Royal Family did not come out from opened and Hephzie was walked out by two more Manotaur guards. She was chained by the ankles and wrists and her hands were still domed over. She wore her usual clothes and the tired look in her eyes told Ford that she hadn't slept since her arrest, but she didn't look hurt or injured; he was grateful for that. The guards stood at the door. Hephzie walked alone to a spot right between the two desks.

"General Hephzibah Cece, you are charged with committing the ultimate taboo and alchemy's one unforgivable sin." Ahllen stated plainly, as if he wasn't talking to a lifelong friend. "How do you plead to this charge?"

"Guilty."

The whole courtroom took in a breath. The Pines were free to yell and gasp as loud as they wanted. Stan sat in his armchair and his kids joined him, but Ford stood and watched. Tulok, Amka, Yuka, and Tonraq were also shocked by her simple response.

King Ahllen raised an eyebrow at Hephzie. "Do you understand the severity of this charge?"

"I do."

"Do you still wish to defend yourself or do you contemplate suiside?"

"I wish to speak when it's my turn."

"Than you may." Ahllen said and Hephzie sat at the vacant desk for the defendant. "Representing the prosecution is Alchemist Mark Ooluge, who may deliver his speech now."

"If there a direct victim of the crime," Tulok explained as the man stood up and collected his papers. "He or she would state why the criminal is guilty, but since there is no one like that in this case, he will educate the courtroom as to why what Mama H did was wrong. He is to be unbiased and only remind us of an opposite viewpoint."

Amka shushed him. "They'll see! Watch!"

"Ladies and gentlemen," The prosecutor stated more so to the audience than the council. "Today we will be tackling a very gruesome and ancient crime that has not been made in decades, so for the purpose of this case, I will be reminding the court what exactly is alchemy's one and only unforgivable sin and why it is taboo: human transmutation."

The room took in some air and quickly whispered among themselves. The prosecutor waved his hand and the domed ceiling turned into a projector, showing a transmutation circle that was greek to the Pines family.

"Human transmutation is to transmute chemicals into a human being. Not only is it impossible to perfect and nearly impossible to perform, it is an evil act that has lead only to death and devastation. We all know the tale of the brokenhearted alchemist that tried to bring his wife back to life, but with no evidence of that story, I will be pulling from two previous cases to show why this act is taboo and illegal in every right."

The prosecutor waved his hand again and two young ladies appeared on the domed ceiling, almost like mugshots. "Exhibit A took place back in 1903. In 1895, these teenagers were orphaned as girls when their mother was killed by a plague and their father died at war when they were just infants. Mary, born in 1885, and Madeline, born in 1887, spent years training hard and learning the darkest secrets of alchemy to try to bring back their mother. It would take eight years, but finally one day they attempted it, and paid the price. I will warn younger spectators to cover their eyes and for parents to use their better judgment."

The prosecutor waved his hand and some screamed in shock at the gory pictures on the ceiling. Stan covered Dipper and Mabel's eyes. Mabel happily accepted being oblivious, but Dipper peaked between his uncle's fingers. Tulok brought Yuka's face into his chest. Amka didn't worry about covering Tonraq's eyes. Ford stared as one picture showed what Tulok and Amka had described yesterday. It looked like a blackened, burt, misshapen version of a human, with exposed bones, flowing blood and dislocated joints. Clearly, if the thing had been alive, it would not remain that way for long. The eldest teenager, Mary, lost an arm, and Madeline lost a leg.

"The girls were brought in quickly, and after treating their injuries, the sad remains of their mother were buried with as much humility as the court could manage." The prosecutor said. "The girls were then sentenced to life in prison, but neither ate and died shortly of starvation. Reports state that they had been driven into insanity by what they had seen and done."

The pictures were gone and the prosecutor went on with his story. "Exhibit B is a more recent and obscure one, but it is a case General Hephzibah Cece herself dealt with and brought in."

"No, not that one…"

"Silence!" King Ahllen said and banged his gong gently and Hephzie and the whole room was quiet. "Proceed."

"1986, one of our own alchemists, David Tucker the Animalistic Alchemist, performed a heinous act. The word was that he was trying to find a way to communicate to other species like fish and birds and non-talking mammals." The prosecutor went on. "His wife, possessively, died of illness when their daughter was only a year old, and when the daughter was five, Tucker fused her and their pet dog together to create what we thought was impossible: a chimera that understood human speech."

The prosecutor waved his hand again and a picture of what looked like a small black dog with dead white eyes and a brown wig on sat curled up in a corner, skinny, malnourished, and afraid. It had human-like hands and feet and the fur was balding in some places. Ford noticed that Hephzie tightly shut her eyes and looked at the floor. He would have given anything to hug her and comfort her. Everyone winced at the poor creature. No one could quite pin-point why, but it was very, very wrong.

"The record states that General Hephzibah Cece was checking in only to find the girl she was supposed to visit gone forever." The prosecutor stated. "Tucker was brought in and put to death for what he had done to his daughter, and as for the chimera, it could understand human speech and it could speak freely, but General Hephzibah Cece was the only one bold enough to ask what it wanted, and it only stated 'I want to die.' Rather than let it starve to death and die slowly, it was also put to death by medicine and in a comfortable bed."

"How DARE ya!" Hephzie yelled.

"Silence!"

"How dare ya group me in with that… that monster!"

"SILENCE!" King Ahllen yelled and banged the gong. "Speak out of line again and I will have you removed from the court!"

Hephzie glared daggers at the man she had considered her brother for years, but bit her lip to keep her words back.

"Now then," The prosecutor resumed calmly and waved his hand so the picture of the chimera was gone. "Both the sisters and Tucker had their own reasoning for attempting human transmutation. While it is logical to want to have someone back, the laws one would break to achieve that is ungodly and evil. And Tucker… well, he traded his family for gold and glory and paid the price. Alchemy is all about equivalent exchange and, therefore, if General Hephzibah Cece is proven to have committed the ultimate taboo, than she is nothing less than guilty. I rest my case." And he sat down.

"Thank you." King Ahllen said and announced to the room. "Now, in her defense, General Hephzibah Cece may deliver her speech."

Hephzie stood and moved so she was where the prosecutor gave his presentation, between the desks and at the very heart of the room. The room seemed much more interested in what she had to say versus what the prosecutor had to say. Hephzie took in a deep breath and held her head up high. "I plead guilty. I did what I had to do to protect my loved ones. I committed the taboo."

The courtroom was muffled with noise. Mabel started to munch on her hair with worry. "What is she doing?" Amka hissed, but Tulok shushed her.

"You admit to committing the taboo?" Queen Amka, the wife of King Ahllen, asked.

"Yes."

"Why? Why did you do it?"

"Does my reasonin' guarantee a chance at freedom?"

"Answer the question." Ahllen snarled. "You say you did it to protect loved ones. Explain yourself."

"I only did it to trap Bill Cipher." The prisoner snapped.

The room was in panic. Some gasped, some yelled or screamed, one giant fainted and people had to push and shove out of the way to avoid being crushed. The council's faces grew rigid. Apparently this part of the story had been kept secret.

"As y'all know, last summer Bill entered our world." Hephzie said. "I tried to have ya aid us, but y'all decided to let those who were inside the Weirdness Magnetism bubble suffer. Before we could help, Bill had already been defeated, but not by the zodiac. To make a long story short, they trapped Bill in someone's mind n' then erased said-mind. Luckily that brave mind was recovered n', for awhile, it appeared that Bill was gone, but he traded some of his powers for a chance to live again, n' a few short weeks ago, he came back as a ghost, a vision, a phantom. He managed to trap me n' my friends n' use my friends as leverage to make him a body. I didn't have a choice. I made him a body n' he became human."

"That is your story, then?" Ahllen asked.

"That's the truth." Hephzie said firmly.

"I see." But Ahllen sounded like he didn't believe her. "Well then, moving on, we legally cannot deem you guilty unless there is proof that you committed the crime. As much as we might enjoy listening to your tale and your reasoning for your actions, they are still regrettable and you must face judgment."

"Ya seem way too relaxed for my likin' 'bout the fact Bill's back, _brother_." Hephzie stated coolly.

"He is not my concern."

"Ya mean he's not your problem."

"As long as the forcefield is intact it is not my problem, no."

"Gravity Falls' Natural Law of Weirdness Magnetism very well would've been torn down if the man bein' tortured to keep the world safe had given in." Hephzie snarled.

Princess Hephzibah sat up straighter. She of the five seemed more inclined to clear Hephzie of her charges since the beginning. "Tortured? That changes…"

"This is not a case on Bill, it is a case on _you_ , General!" Ahllen growled and pointed at Hephzie.

"But if I was forced into a corner n' had to do what I could to defeat him all cuz y'all refused to help…"

"We have no control over your actions and are not the ones that are held accountable!"

"If ya want to kill me for brinin' Bill back I don't blame ya!" Hephzie yelled. "But if you're gonna kill me to hide the truth than you're nothin' but a bunch of cowards!"

"SILENCE!" King Ahllen roared and stood. "The debate of whether you are guilty or innocent has NOTHING to do with Bill or the people of Pilivark! Without evidence, you are innocent." Ahllen, cooling down, formed a cruel smile. "However, there is one way to determine if you performed human transmutation. Qimmiq, send forth your strongest troops and have them attack Hephzie. You there, unchain her. Let us give her a chance to prove her innocence."

Tulok, Amka, Yuka, and Tonraq gasped as they watched their uncle step down from the council and exit through a door. Meanwhile, one of the Manotaurs unchained Hephzie and she flexed her fingers and popped her wrists.

"What? What's happening?" Mabel asked.

"Grandfather wouldn't, would he?" Yuka asked her big brother.

"I think he would, little sister." Tulok said and looked at the confused Pines. "Did we try to tell you? That if one sees The Truth, than they can perform alchemy without a matrix, because _they_ are the matrix."

"I still don't get it." Mabel said, but Dipper thought he did, but hoped he was wrong.

His eyes widened and he said, "To perform alchemy, you gotta draw a transmutation-circle or have one to use, like a tattoo or an engraving, but I've seen Hephzie do it without a circle!"

"You have?!" Amka and Tulok gasped at the same time.

The Pines nodded. Hephzie built a bridge without a matrix. She once fixed a broken porch stair with a clap of her hands. They had assumed that maybe she had drawn one and they didn't see it, but the more Hephzie's friends thought about it, ever since Bill returned, she had been using alchemy more often but for smaller things. Had she been training herself to use this newfound power wisely? Had she always had it? Or did she have a matrix drawn every time and they just didn't see it?

"Well, if she did perform human transmutation, she would have seen The Truth and become the matrix." Tulok explained. "Grandfather is going to make Hephzie fight so she will have no choice but to transmute without a drawn matrix."

"But what if she can't transmute without a drawn matrix?" Ford asked as Qimmiq returned with six large, muscular fighters, some giants, some Manotaurs and some humans.

"Than she will be badly injured and lose the fight, but she is the Healing Alchemist and will be given a chance to heal herself later." Amka said. "It will hurt, but she won't die."

"Well that's nice!" Stan snapped sarcastically.

"Mama H will be alright." Amka said firmly. "She is one of our best fighters. I just hope she can control the urge long enough to prove herself innocent."

"Why are they even doing this is she pleaded guilty?" Dipper asked.

"She must have given up on trying to win favor with the counsel and is trying to win favor with the people, who will determine her sentence." Tulok theorized. "Or maybe… I'm sure she has a plan."

They were silent as they watched the soldiers circle Hephzie. She looked up at the king and asked, "May I at least have my sword back? It means a lot to me."

Ford felt his heart flutter; that was the sword he had given to her as a birthday present years ago.

Ahllen, however, sneered and said, "And do what, give you a chance to hide your skills? No. No, I think this will insure that you will use what you already have. You know the rulers, fighters, injured as horrid as you want, but do not kill. Any injures will be treated immediately after the battle, but do not hesitate. If you do, you'll be placed in a cell right next to the convicted. BEGIN!" And Ahllen banged the gong.

The Manotaur swung his club at Hephzie, but she did a backwards flip out of the way and landed on a desk. A human swung his sword, but Hephzie dodged and he only cut the desk in half. Hephzie balanced one-legged on the desk, dodged again and again, and then flipped behind the man, stole his cloth belt, and used it to tie it around his eyes and blind him. Quicker than light, Hephzie swiped his sword, kicked him down, and used the stolen sword to block another human who was shooting arrows at her. Hephzie either dodged it entirely or cut or swung arrows away from her, all while the crowd cheered like it was a wrestling match and a Manotaur was going behind her.

"Look out!" Mabel yelled.

"Come on, Mama!" Yuka shouted.

Hephzie waited patiently, and at the right moment, sprung in the air and did another backwards flip over the Manotaur. He was hit by a few arrows and fell on his knees in pain. Hephzie, behind him, popped her aching back and Ford was reminded that she had been having back-pains lately. She quickly recovered when the Manotaur with the club was back and Hephzie dodged again. Then a giant behind her tried to crush her, but she ran up the wall and around the domed ceiling so quickly she didn't fall.

The crowd cheered and Hephzie leaped and stabbed the giant's shoulder. He roared and swatted at Hephzie like a fly, but she landed on her hidden, robotic knee and dueled with the Manotaur with the club. Hephzie cut the wooden club in hand, then cut his hand just enough to hurt, and then she slid under his legs when he moved forward and she kicked so hard with her disguised automail that the beast fell.

"You FOOLS!" Ahllen roared. "You two! Get her!"

The second giant tried to squish Hephzie like a parasite, but she dodged and stabbed his hand. The giant held it and sucked it like it had been a splinter and then Hephzie cut his leg and then kicked the second desk in his way so when the giant moved he tripped and fell with a powerful thud. Before Hephzie could do anything else, she was hit by an arrow and it stuck on her left shoulder. She held it with her right hand and yelled and saw that the swift human with a bow and arrows had shot her.

Hephzie narrowed her eyes angrily and pulled out the arrow, dropped it like a mic, and went after the human. He shot multiple arrows, but Hephzie dodged them all and swung the sword at the human. The human backed away just in time and Hephzie swung a fast kick that swept the human off of his feet and Hephzie pointed his sword at his neck. The human dropped his weapons and held his hands up in surrender with a scowl. The crowd cheered as the soldiers left to be healed and Hephzie clapped her hands and then touched her shoulder to heal it, using the healing matrixes on the backs of her hands to transmute.

Before anyone could relax, Ahllen jumped off of the council's high table and down at the center of the room, right in front of Hephzie and growled, "I have shown you mercy thus far, but that is over! I will MAKE YOU show us what you have done!"

"I won't fight ya, Ahllen." Hephzie said coldly.

"You don't have a choice!" The king snapped, clapped his hands, and touched a satchel of water by his hip with a transmutation circle on the lid. Ahllen pulled his hand away and a beam of ice followed him, growing longer until it was a spear in his hands. He pointed it at Hephzie and the second part of the fight began.

It was clear that Hephzie and Ahllen had learned how to fight by the same person or at least practiced together back in the day. They both had a similar fighting style of dodging and then waiting for a perfect moment to strike. Ahllen's temper and Hephzie's refusal to fight, however, put the king on the offense and the criminal on the defense. Ahllen cut Hephzie on the cheek and drew blood. She winced and kicked Ahllen away from her. He recovered quickly and attacked again, but not before Hephzie stabbed the sword between the stones that made the ground and ran for the front door. It was locked and guarded, but Hephzie wasn't trying to escape. She climbed up the frame and perched herself on top like a bird. "I won't fight ya, big brother!"

"You have to if you want your freedom!" Ahllen yelled back.

Hephzie touched a bead of blood oozing from her cheek and used it to draw a transmutation circle into her palm. Just as Ahllen was about to climb after her, she clapped her hands and projected them out to Ahllen in a spot-position, but a ball of fire came from her palms and flew out to Ahllen. He stabbed his ice-spear into the ground and it turned into a thin wall of ice that protected him from the fire, but then disappeared. Just as it did, Hephzie leaped from the doorframe and punched Ahllen in the jaw. The two engaged in hand-to-hand combat, dodging and punching and kicking, and they were evenly matched. Ahllen grabbed Hephzie's shoulder, flipped upside down, and when behind her punched hard on her back. Hephzie groaned and fell on her knee, but then spun and punched, but Ahllen grabbed her wrist, punched her face, and then twisted the arm he had in his hold dangerously so she was at his mercy.

"Ya little…" Hephzie lost her temper, used her free arm to punch Ahllen in the gut, twisted her arm free, and backed away. "ENOUGH!" And with that, Hephzie clapped her hands, touched the ground, and chains erupted from the stone floor and flew to Ahllen. He was chained by the wrists and ankles and the throat and brought to his hands and knees on the floor.

But the defeated king chuckled darkly and let his chuckle grow into laughter. The room was buzzing with gasps and cries or shock and disgust. Hephzie's eyes widened and she stood up straight. The chains fell away from Ahllen and a Manotaur tackled Hephzie to the ground from behind.

"NO!" Tulok yelled and stood up from his chair.

"I can't believe it!" Amka gasped.

"As suspected," Ahllen announced and the room fell silent. "You can transmute without a matrix. On top of which your right leg is automail."

Hephzie, who had been chained up again and was standing, stared at him. "How did ya…"

"Please I can tell just by sparing with you!" Ahllen sneered and walked to the high table to sit where he belonged. "As such, this is undeniable evidence that you performed human transmutation. With that, this council finds you guilty." And Ahllen banged the gong.

The crowd was at an uproar; they couldn't decide who to be angrier at. Stan groaned and held his head. Yuka held Tulok tighter in his lap; the young prince rubbed his sister's back. Dipper clenched his fists in anger. Ford felt numb; a part of him knew this was coming, so he was more concerned with Hephzie's sentence.

"Now, the audience may decide how she may be punished." Ahllen said and the room was quiet again. "You were all told of your options. Which…"

"I have a request." Hephzie said clearly, keeping her eyes on Ahllen.

Tulok and Amka gasped. Before any of the Pines could ask, Amka quickly explained, "This is very risky! If she requests for a merciful punishment, the crowd may give her a more cruel one out of spite."

Tulok, however, said calmly, "I told you she had a plan." He seemed to understand something the others didn't.

"State it then." Ahllen growled and sat in his chair.

"I request the death penalty..."

"NO!" Ford yelled, but Hephzie didn't stop.

"...in exchange for the protection of Gravity Falls."

There was silence. No one seemed to know what to say or do or even think. The Pines looked at Tulok, Amka, Yuka, and Tonraq for some answers, but they were just as lost as anyone else.

Ahllen laughed maliciously at his old friend. " _This_ is what you are reduced to? The great General Hephzibah Cece has resorted to going to extreme measures to call troops to a land our people left behind decades ago? Do you remember the laws on which alchemy is founded upon?"

"Do not site our laws to me, _big brother_." Hephzie snarled. "I wrote a handful of 'em myself or was there when they were made."

"Do not address me like you're family." Ahllen growled like an angry wolf. "You never married and your guardians died a long time ago. You have no family."

Amka gasped and her hands flew to her mouth. Tulok covered Yuka's ears and swore in some different language no one but his siblings knew. Mabel's eyes filled with tears and Ford was more desperate now than ever to see her after they saw the way Hephzie's eyes heavied sadly and her stature drooped like a wilting flower.

"And you know well that if one life is traded in for another, only one is protected." Ahllen said with a tiny smile on his lips as his eyes peered at Hephzie from his high place of power and she was below him in chains. "Do you really hold yourself so high that you think your life equals an entire town's value?"

"No, I…"

"If you wish to turn your life in for the protection of _one_ life, you may." Ahllen interrupted. "But that is it. One. For what can equal the value of dozens of lives?"

"If ya know the value's nearly impossible to match than why do ya refused to help our brothers n' sisters?!" Hephzie demanded.

"What is to gain by sending my people into Bill's arms?!" Ahllen roared.

"What's to gain by doing what's right?!" Hephzie asked. "Only innocent lives!"

"We have to protect our own or risk letting our own loved ones suffer!"

"If I thought like that I would have let ya die when we were kids! NEVER forget who ya are n' where ya came from, Ahllen! You're better than this! You're ALL better than this!"

"SILENCE HER!" Ahllen screamed and cloth was tied around her head and over her mouth. "I SENTENCE YOU TO LIFE IN PRISON! GUARDS, TAKE HER WHERE SHE WILL NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY AGAIN!" And the king banged the gong.

The crowd was furious. Ahllen had delivered the sentence without consulting the people, breaking the law. Even Queen Amka and her sons and daughter looked angry, but King Ahllen left the room before anything else could be done. Hephzie was dragged away and the crowd started to pick fights with the guards. Tulok and Amka both stood up and Fiona sat on the TV screen, back as a bird and not just a monitor of the trial.

"We have to return home before Grandfather sparks a rebellion!" Amka said.

"I agree." Tulok said and the four started for the door.

"Wait!" Mabel yelled. "What about Hephzie?! Is that it?! She's in jail forever?! She's _gone_?! Can we at least see her?!"

Tulok looked sadly at the girl and then the Pines men. He sighed heavily and said, "We will do everything we can, but for now… she gave you a job to do, aye? Bill has returned, and she said you could prevent his chaos, right?"

Ford nodded and swallowed before speaking. "We… we're working to keep him from creating a rift and bringing his gang back. If he opens another rift, we will have a second Weirdmageddon on our hands."

"Than we must act quickly." Amka said. "Grandfather will be furious, but…"

"There is strength in numbers." Tulok said and put a hand on one of her shoulders, his other hand holding his staff. "We will do what we can or go down doing what is right." He nodded politely to the humans and said, "May we meet again under better circumstances. Come, Yuka and Tonraq, we're going home."

Yuka and Tonraq turned into wolves and ran out the door and into the woods. Amka turned into a wolf, ran after the hyper Yuka, and carried her by the scruff of her neck. Tulok turned into a wolf that held a twig in his mouth, but before he left the dirt road for the woods, he turned to the Pines, bowed low to show his respect, and then ran after his siblings for home.


	36. Qeb Yrkhbo Fpk'q Pxcb

Pacifica yawned into her hand as she walked into Greasy's Diner for her morning-shift. It was way too early to get up during the summer in her book, but she had to make the money for that scooter somehow. She passed Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland, who were trying to see if the sheriff could break his record of eating pancakes at a speed of 96 miles per hour. Pacifica groaned when she saw Mr. Poolcheck in her section of the diner. She first moved into the kitchen to clock in. She saw Lazy Susan wiping some dishes while waiting for some food to finish cooking and smiled. "Hey, Susan."

"G'morning, Pacifica." Lazy Susan said as she continued to work, not uncommon while on the clock. "You forgot to sweep and wipe last night. I had to scramble to do it in time this morning."

Pacifica winced as she punched in her I.D. and password numbers and clocked into the register. "Ugh, I'm sorry. I just forgot. I'll make it up to you. Why don't I see if I can get Dip-Dip to fix the spin-y pie-trolley in the diner?"

"That'd be great!" Lazy Susan said and held out a hand for Pacifica. "It's a deal, little ma'am!"

Pacifica yawned into her fist and sleepily shook her hand, but as she did so, something clicked in her brain and she withdrew her hand. She looked at Susan's one opened eye and screamed to find it yellow. "No, no, NO! Wait, I didn't!"

Lazy Susan laughed in a voice that was not her own and cackled, "Too late, Llama! You're a tough customer, but you're lazier than old S over here! Then again, what else would you expect from a spoiled Northwest!" And Lazy Susan slumped over and fell on the floor. When she did, Pacifica could feel a breeze go by her and she knew that the curse Bill used or whatever was gone.

Lazy Susan, the real Lazy Susan, opened her functioning eye and moaned, "Uh, why does my mouth taste like nightmares all over again?"

"Susan," Pacifica got her attention as she held her stand up. "I did something… I… I gotta go!" She shakingly clocked out and ran out of the diner, ignoring Lazy Susan's calls.

Pacifica let her blonde hair down from her mandatory ponytail for work and dug around her purse for her comfortable purple-polo. While running in the woods, taking a shortcut, she changed from her work-shirt into her polo, leaving on her white shorts and work shoes, which was fine by Pacifica. She ran and ran as fast as she could as her mind spun like a pie trolley. Who was left now? Just Soos and Wendy? Should Pacifica had gone to them first? No, she had to tell Dipper and Mabel's uncle, Dr. Pines; he would know what to do.

Pacifica didn't stop running until she got to the dirt parking lot outside of the tourist trap. After heaving air into her lungs with her hands on her knees for a minute, Pacifica hurried to the house and went around to the porch, but she found all four Pines already there; she was oblivious to their depressed looks and attitude when she approached.

"Guys! Something terrible just happened!" Pacifica yelled and had everyone's attention. "Bill possessed Lazy Susan and I shook hands with him!"

"What?!" They all gasped, and then Dipper added, "Bill can still possess people?! How is that even possible?!"

"He didn't fly out of her body or anything, but her eye was Bill's and she sounded like him after I shook his hand." Pacifica added in case it might help figure this whole thing out. "What do we do?"

"I… I don't know." Dipper turned to the eldest on the property and asked, "What do we go, Grunkle Ford?"

The old scientist held his cleft chin and said, "If Hephzibah's theory is correct, that means Bill only has to make a deal with Soos and Wendy and then he can use us to create a new rift in space-time between our dimension and the Nightmare Realm. If he does that, he'll return to full power and his true physical form. We'll have a Weirdmageddon II on our hands. Soos and Wendy are both very clever…"

"More like Wendy's clever." Stan sneered with a sly smile like a fox.

Ford took the time to roll his eyes before continuing. "We can't quarantine them forever, but we can prepare them for the worst. Every minute we delay the end of the world is a blessed minute."

"Pretty much just buy some time, got it." Stan growled. "Well, I'll play Mr. Mystery today and make those two knuckleheads scrub the toilets or something to keep them away from any potentially possessed customers."

"I suppose that's a start." Ford admitted. "The bunker is ready for use. Hephzibah talking to King Ahllen also made me realize that we might want to get the mayor on our side."

"Tyler?" Dipper asked. "I'm not sure if that's a good idea. Didn't he pass the Never Mind All That Act before summer was over?"

"He only passed that act to keep outsiders like government agents from finding out about our little apocalypse. I'm sure he will be more willing to work with the police force to plan an emergency evacuation plan."

"Evacuation?" Mabel asked.

"That does make sense." Dipper said. "If the Magnetism is still working than Bill can't leave Gravity Falls, even if Weirdmageddon II does happen. If we want to prevent everyone from being turned to stone, we need a way to get everyone out of here as quickly and safely as possible."

"But if everyone leaves, who will help us?" Pacifica asked. "Remember, everyone last time helped us! The bear with all those heads, some gnomes, Several Times, Sheriff Blubs…"

"Maybe we can compose a list of people willing to stay behind to help fight." Ford thought out-loud. "I'll go and discuss it with Mayor Tyler."

"I'm gonna put on some pants." Stan gruffed and walked back into the house to put on his suit for work.

"And I guess we can wait here and tell Soos and Wendy to be on the lookout." Dipper said and sat on the porch-step. "Though they probably are already stressed enough about this."

Ford went into the house to pull some things together and then go meet the young mayor and Mabel and Pacifica sat on either side of Dipper.

"Don't worry, bro-bro." Mabel said and patted his back. "We'll figure this out! We beat Bill before, and we'll do it again!"

Dipper smiled proudly. "I know we will!"

"Yeah!" Pacifica joined in.

Mabel's eye caught something sparkling on the dirt road and she stood to get a better look. Grinning, she then ran up to it and picked up a penny. "Sweet! Find a penny, pick it, then all day you'll have good luck!"

A big figure stood over Mabel. Dipper ran and yelled, but the twins were both hit over the head and knocked out, and Pacifica's mouth was covered before she could scream and she was knocked out, too.

* * *

Wendy walked up to work and Soos drove in his pick-up truck around the same time, a typical work-day for them. The minute they saw Stan in his suit they knew what to do and got to work, meaning Wendy sat at the register and read a magazine while Soos was free to let his imagination run free on some new attraction-ideas he had. Stan, however, snatched up the magazine and Soos' glue-gun and ignored their matching "hey!"s.

"Not so fast, you two are gonna work together to unclog the outhouse and then scrub it until it's cleaner than my vocabulary." Stan ordered. "And then after that you're gonna re-glitter the Mystery Shack sign, and don't forget that stupid S this time!"

"What?!" Wendy demanded. "It's supposed to be a hundred degrees today!"

"Than wear extra sunblock!"

"Mr. Pines, I had the sign repainted back in April, remember?" Soos asked.

"So? With all this superstition and meetings and Weirdmageddon II stuff flying around things around here have been slipping!" Stan said. "Don't forget how important this old girl is! So quit your complaining and get to work before I make you both exhibits!"

Not wanting to be the next pre-teen-wolf-boy, Wendy groaned and Soos sighed as they both went to take care of the outhouse first. By the time the first tour group came in and Stan led them through inside the house, Ford left for town to talk to Mayor Tyler. Soos and Wendy were in the outhouse all morning and emerged filthy and sickened, but at least the chore was done. After being hosed off by Stan, they climbed up to the roof and got to work on making the sign glittery.

* * *

"I'm sorry, Dr. Pines, but I can't ask people to do that."

Ford pinched the bridge of his nose and worked hard to keep his temper under control. "Mayor Tyler, this would not be mandatory, but voluntary. We are very fortunate to have many brave souls living in our humble town. Don't you think many would want to stay and fight if worst comes to worst?"

"Of course, but as mayor if worst comes to worst I'm gonna tell 'em to get… get on outta 'ere." Tyler said and removed his cap long enough to run a hand through his short light-brown hair. "I failed to keep everybody safe last time, I won't make the same mistake again. I gotta keep y'all safe, n' I believe the best way t'do all that is to evacuate. Besides, wasn't it your idea, Dr. Pines?"

"Yes, it was," Ford agreed. "But I proposed it alongside the idea of a choice to stay and fight if desired. Besides, you've met the people of Gravity Falls. Don't you think some would revolt against evacuation and try to stay to help?"

Mayor Tyler opened his mouth to argue, then realized Ford had a point and put his cap back on with determination in his eyes. He would much rather have people stay behind under his watch than behind his back. "Fair point. Alright, I'll set up a plan with Blubs and Durland to help the townsfolk evacuate safely, and I'll also set up a place in city hall for people to volunteer to stay and fight. We'll also need several safety-zones in the city in case some can't manage to leave..."

"You're more than welcome to use the Shack."

"... and of course limits on who can stay and fight, like a person has to be of age and in perfect health, yada, yada, yada."

Ford paused at the mention of an age-limit. His mind went to the kids, _his_ kids. He could still vividly remember seeing Dipper and Mabel in Bill's fist. _"I think I'm gonna kill one of them now, just for the heck of it!"_ He could not allow that to happen again.

Ford nodded and held out his hand to the mayor as he stood. "Thank you, sir. I'll meet with my brother and Fiddleford McGucket to help plan safety-zones and an evacuation plan if you would like."

"I'll go ahead and have Blubs and Durland plan the evacuation routes, but any help from y'all would be very appreciated." Tyler said with a smile and shook Ford's six-fingered hand.

* * *

McGucket was leaving to go to the store, enjoying a walk in the woods. His son was at work, and so after the store the old man contemplated visiting the lake was resting on a rubber-ring again. He was whistling between his missing teeth when his eye caught something. He wandered from his desired path and saw the statue of Bill Cipher.

McGucket sighed to himself. That triangle feller had hurt his friends a lot lately. He wished he could be of better help. Maybe he should talk to his old colleague and think of a plan.

But then a shadow loomed over him and everything went black.

* * *

Robbie put the strap of his guitar over his shoulder, leaving the house for band practice.

"Remember, Robbie, dinner is at five tonight!" His mother called.

"Fine, whatever." He yelled and left the small porch. He didn't have his hands over the bars of his bike when everything went black.

* * *

Gideon hadn't meant to fall asleep. He hadn't been sleeping well, lying in bed awake, and he had just finished vacuuming the living room and sat on the couch to rest. He had been doing quite a bit of chores lately to try to be more of a normal kid and be better towards his mother. Now he woke up in a cold sweat, having just experienced a nasty nightmare, and he sighed to himself.

Bill was right; Gideon was never going to change. Nothing could change what he had already done. He was a mouth-breathing fool. He was a lost cause. He had made a deal he couldn't back away from, and if he didn't obey something worse would happen. Maybe his old gang or his parents would get it. With weight-down shoulders and all hope gone, he got down from the couch, quietly walked out of the house and into the woods, and headed to do what Bill wanted him to do.

* * *

Stan was reading the newspaper on the porch, sitting in the rocking chair in his suit, on a break from giving tours. Ford joined him and sat on the couch. "I met with Tyler. He and the GFPD are going to work on a plan to evacuate the people of Gravity Falls if Weirdmageddon II ever takes place."

"Good." Stan grunted from behind his newspaper.

Ford smiled, reminded of breakfasts with their father as children and also pleasantly reminded that Stan was a much better man than Filbrick ever was. His smile dropped and he said slowly, "If… if that does happen… we need to think of a safe way to send the kids home."

"What?!" Stan put his paper down and scowled. "Are you nuts?! The kids'll never go for that, Poindexter! Last time I tried sending 'em away they were chased by a twenty-foot-tall robot and fell off the Floating Cliff! Then some government agents tried to take 'em away and they weaseled their way outta that one, too! I've learned that sending the kids away never really works out."

"But we have to _try_ , Stanley!" Ford snapped. "We almost lost them last time Bill was in full-power! Honestly, do you _want_ that to happen?!" He pressed his lips together. The paranoid scientist instantly regretted that accusation. "I'm… I'm sorry. I know you…"

"Look if you wanna try to sardine the kids on a bus outta here when Weirdmageddon happens again, go ahead n' try," Stan growled and stood. "But I'm telling you that won't do anything but put them in even more danger and break the zodiac. We need 'em, Ford."

"I know." He sighed and held his forehead. "Which is why I need them to stay _safe_."

Stan punched his shoulder lightly. "They'll be fine; they're Pines for Moses' sake."

Ford looked up to smile at his brother, but his face fell and he stood up quickly, "Stan, look out!" But Stan was knocked out before Ford could finish yelling and soon he was engulfed in black, too.

* * *

"Hey, Wendy dude, has Mr. Pines been acting weird to you?"

Wendy leaned on her long paint-roller to pause her work, Soos' question a great excuse to do that. "You mean, weirder than normal? Yeah, sorta."

"I think he's worried about the whole Bill-Weirdmageddon-part-two deal-eo." Soos said and rolled his hand as he stopped painting and talked to his good friend.

"Honestly," Wendy let out a long sigh and looked much more stressed. "I'm kinda freaking out, too! My dad isn't exactly helping. He's super paranoid and hardly lets me leave the house and now he's got my bros worried, too. Last time I talk to him about anything."

"Hey, don't worry, dude." Soos sand and patted her shoulder. "I'm sure your dad and your brothers will cool down soon, and I bet soon Mr. Pines will, too. Hey, we should do something fun tonight! We should watch a movie with the Pines family! We'll have snacks and sodas and use Mabel's mouth-ramps, she can even invite Candy and Grenda!"

Wendy gave him a very Wendy-confident-smile and said, "Yeah, sounds cool! We'll see if Mr. Pines isn't too much of a stick in the mud to go for it."

"Oh, you know if we get Dipper and Mabel in on it he'll go for it." Soos joked and then peered down to the ground from the roof. "Speaking of, have you seen the dudes?"

"Who, Dip-Dip and May-May?" Wendy asked and it slowly dawned on her that she had been at the Mystery Shack for half a day and hasn't seen either of them. "Actually, no. Weird, they usually at least say hi. Maybe they're out hunting some monster or whatever."

"Maybe." Soos said slowly. "I'll go ask Mr. Pines where they're at." The handyman said as he climbed down the latter, seeing the little dudes way more important than seeing if his boss was up for a movie night.

Which each location Soos checked, he became more and more nervous. There were no tours occurring among the exhibits, Mr. Pines wasn't in his office or in his armchair, and when Soos finally decided to check the basement neither he nor Dr. Pines were there. It wasn't unusual for Mr. Pines to leave while his employees were working, but he always gave them a quick shout to let them know he was leaving and to give more instructions. Wendy was behind the register when Soos came from behind the vending machine.

"I couldn't find any Pines anywhere." Soos said and his eyes widened. "Wendy, you don't think Bill did something to them, do you?"

"No way." Wendy answered firmly. "They're way too tough and smart to be taken or anything like that."

"Maybe," Soos said slowly, unsure if he could believe that. "Let's just hope we find them soon and that they're all okay."

Wendy sighed and walked towards the door. "If they're okay they won't be when I'm done with them."

Soos smiled timidly and followed his favorite employee out of the Mystery Shack and towards the woods.

* * *

Ford's whole body ached, primarily his shoulder. The ache pulled him from his slumber and he quickly realized the reason why his body ached was because he was lying in an uncomfortable position. Ford tried to move in a more comfortable position, but then it hit them that his ankles were tied together, as well as his hands behind his back. Ford opened his eyes and a chill ran down his spine to see black chains binding his limbs. His mind was rapidly remembering what happened and he began to take in his surroundings.

As the one in the zodiac with the most sleeping problems, Ford was the first to wake up. To his left was his twin brother and to his right was the Valentino boy. Ford was lying on his front and he quickly noticed that Fiddleford, the Northwest girl, Dipper, and Mabel were all unconscious and bound by chains in the middle of the woods. Ford craned his neck to look behind him and he saw the statue of Bill's true form, a little red bird was on the outstretched hand of the statue.

Adrenaline and fear coursing through his veins, Ford turned on his side and used his conjoined legs to kick Stan awake. "Stanley! Stanley, wake up!" He hissed.

Stan groaned and then quickly sat up, his legs and arms also chained. He rapidly noticed what was going on and said, "Wh-what the heck happened?"

"We were attacked." Ford reminded him. "We have to assume it's Bill. The Gleeful boy, Wendy, and Soos aren't here yet, so he must be out there to capture them."

"What's the point of capturing us if we need to make a deal with him to create a rift, or whatever?" Stan growled.

"Remember, only Soos and Wendy have yet to make a deal with him. He must be losing his patience and has decided to trick them into making a deal, completing the zodiac."

"And he's probably got that little troll by now." Stan guessed. "So how do we get outta here, Brainiac?"

"Here," Ford sat up and turned his back on his brother. "My watch has a laser that can cut through metal. Have your back to mine and I can cut you loose and then you can do the same for me."

"Good thinking." Stan turned and scooted to Ford, their backs nearly touching, and Ford could barely touched the little button on the side of his watch. He had to be very careful not to burn either of them, but from what little they could see the laser was hitting Stan's chains right by his wrist and slowly cutting the metal. "Geez, can't this go any faster?"

"I wouldn't be surprised if Bill used the strongest metal in existence." Ford answered. "Quite possibly one never before seen on this Earth."

Stan rolled his eyes, but then they landed on Dipper, who was restless and starting to wake up. "Dipper! Dipper, get up!"

The boy suddenly jerked awake at the sound of his uncle's voice and he quickly realized what was happening. "No, no, no! This can't be happening!"

"It won't if you stay calm, my boy." Ford said in a soothing, authoritative voice. "Wake up your sister. Doesn't her headbanned have a knife in it?"

"You're right!" Dipper gasped and he looked at Mabel's black headbanned, a gift from Hephzie in the forge. "Mabel! Come on, pull it together! Mabel! Several Timez is here to sing for you again!"

"Really?!" The girl shriek and sat up quickly on her knees, half of her hair over her eyes. She waved her head back and then gasped, "Holy Moses, Bill seriously thought he could pull a fast one over us?!"

"That's what we thought, too, sweetie." Stan called. He craned his neck to see his chain and he saw that a third was cut.

"Quickly, Mabel, let Dipper borrow your headbanned and cut your chain so you can cut his." Ford instructed.

Mabel bowed her head so low her nose almost touched the grass beneath them. Dipper turned his back to his sister and somehow managed to crane his hand enough to grab Mabel's black headbanned. He flicked it straight like a slap-bracelet and a knife popped out from one end. Much like how the elder Pines twins were back-to-back to free each other, Mabel and Dipper were back-to-back so Dipper could cut Mabel free.

"Hephzie said that can cut anything from Platinum to Iron to Gold or Silver." Dipper said. "That knife is made out of diamonds, Chromium, and Titanium, but mostly diamonds."

"Wow, no wonder it's so shiny!" Mabel admired.

"Speaking of which, maybe when this is all over we should hit that cave again…"

"Don't you dare, Stanley." Ford scolded. "That forge is for weapon-making only."

"I know, I know, calm down, Sixer. I won't touch your girlfriend's weird office."

"Shaddup." Robbie moaned and turned in his sleep. "M'tryin' t'sleep."

"Robbie!" Mabel shrieked, followed by the three Pines men shushing her. "Robbie! Wake up! This isn't a sleepover!" She then hissed.

Robbie slowly came around and blinked his eyes to adjust to the sunlight, which was coming and going due to rolling clouds. "Wh-what the… what's going on?!"

Pacifica was also waking up. "I swear who ever knocked me out is getting sued."

"Ow!" McGucket complained. "My back! Who… oh, Lord have mercy! What in tarnation…"

"Everyone, calm down." Ford said calmly and then lowered his voice. "Stanley and Mabel will be free in no time and then can help us all get out of here safely. We'll be fine as long as the zodiac stays broken."

"But how long do we have until Bill comes back or Soos, Wendy, or Gideon get here?" Dipper asked as he cut vigorously on his sister's chain.

"Not long at all, Pinetree."

Dipper jumped and dropped Mabel's diamond-knife. He managed to quickly pocket it before it could be taken away. Ford accidentally released on his watch and the laser stopped. Emerging from the woods was Bill in his human body, the exact same one Hephzie gave up her right leg for, except now he seemed better-fed, but he was still relatively skinny and bony, almost like the corners of his triangle transmuted into bony elbows and knees. He wore a golden Egyptian-like outfit, completed with sandals and wraps on his arms. He smiled with those devilish yellow eyes and wide mouth at the sight before them.

"Well, well, well, isn't this lovely?" Bill said as he approached the incomplete circle of prisoners. "Gotta hand it to you mortals, you're pretty stubborn, but you should know by now that I have a way of getting what I want."

"Oh yeah?" Mabel snarled. "Well… you should know by now that we have a way of kicking your butt!"

"Yeah!" Dipper said, backing his sister up.

Bill coldly rose a clenching hand, as if strangling something, and suddenly the teenagers were struggling to breathe, their necks tightening.

"No!" Stan yelled and tried to get up, but a force kept him down on the dirt, lying on his chest.

"Aw, don't worry, I won't kill them." Bill said and crouched to look Stan in the eye. His lips curled upwards in a crooked smile. "Yet."

"I've beaten you once before, I'll do it again!" Stan threatened, his body trembling to launch at his enemy, but he was still held down.

"Funny, I thought your brother beat me when he shot you." Bill chuckled, making the atmosphere feel ten degrees colder. "Doesn't matter. We only need two more pieces for our puzzle."

Ford's eyes widened. "Two?" He craned his neck to see Gideon Gleeful standing on the outskirts of the clearing, his head down and his eyes closed. Ford, thinking he was possessed or unconscious, yelled, "Gleeful! Snap out of it! Run!"

But Gideon looked up and opened his eyes, and Ford had never before been so terrified to see eyes that weren't glowing yellow. The boy slowly walked up to the circle on his own accord and sat cross-legged next to Mabel.

Mabel's eyes darkened at someone she considered a friend this summer. "You… you…" She croaked, made a move to launch herself at Gideon, but she was also held down.

"Face it, Shooting Star." Bill cackled, amused by the emotional conflict. "Your wittle makeover buddy has been working for me this whole time."

"You're lying!" Mabel yelled.

"Come on, sweetie, did you really think he would voluntarily step down from a position of power?" Bill laughed. "When the new rift is created he will have a special place in my new world, a place much better than entertaining some chubby, glitter-loving, selfish brat."

Mabel's eyes widened as she was hurt, but she managed to turn her gave away from the boy that betrayed her and her family.

"What's even better, through him I heard all of your whiny complaints!" Bill continued to laugh evilly. "'I feel like no one understands me.'" He mocked. "'No one at school likes me.' 'I wish I could stay in Gravity Falls forever, I feel at home here.' 'No one ever wants me to stick around too long.'"

Ford's teeth clenched so hard he nearly broke a tooth. Bill might be able to get away with a lot of things, but hurting he and Stanley's pumpkin was not one of them. Ford also made a move, but he and everyone else, excluding Gideon, were held down by some sort of force controlled by Bill.

"Now, if Red and Question Mark would just stop playing behind those bushes, we could get this party started." Bill said and snapped his fingers. The bushes were Soos and Wendy were crouched behind caught fire and were burned to ashes in no time.

"Phft! Whaaat? This isn't the taco joint I was telling you about." Wendy said with an unconvincing smile. "I think we made a wrong turn, Soos, let's go back."

"Not so fast." Bill lifted his hand and Wendy and Soos were floating and holding their necks.

"Ha! Nice try, Cipher!" Ford said with a brave grin, seeing a sliver of hope. "They haven't made a deal with you! You can't use them! Equivalent exchange, remember?"

Bill's eyes glinted maliciously, excited for the potentially devastating future. "Oh, I know that, Six Fingers. But as you very well know, I can be **very persuasive**." His voice deepened for a moment and his eyes turned red. "You see, you're right, Sixer, I'll give you that much; I can't _make_ you join the zodiac unless you've made a deal, but I can do much more than just _force_ someone to sit in a certain spot. For example," Bill snapped his fingers, dropping Wendy and Soos, and the rose a hand, making a dagger made out of stone rise from the ground and press itself against Stan's neck, Bill holding his head up by grabbing his gray hair.

"NO!" Soos moved forward with Wendy behind him, but the dagger pressed tighter against their employer's neck, creating a small cut.

"Ah, ah, ah." Bill taunted. "One more step and the old man gets it. Or, you could spare him and sit down like good kids."

"HA!" Wendy pointed at the devil in human flesh and grinned victoriously at him. "You can't scare us! You can't kill anyone of us! Do what you want!"

"Wendy," Soos hissed, his body shaking ever so slightly as an idea came to mind.

"Good point, Red," Bill said calmly, but his eyes darkened in tones of red and his grip on Stan tightened. " **But you'd be surprised what you can live through.** "

"Don't listen to him!" Stan growled. "I've taken on much worse before!" The dagger cut a little deeper into his throat, silencing him.

"NO! STANLEY!" Ford screamed, hyperventilating and thrashing in the dirt.

"No, don't hurt him!" Soos cried.

"Aw, what's the matter?" Bill taunted. "Can't handle losing another padre? How about I make the decision a little easier?" He offered, dropping the dagger and letting it disappear and letting go of Stan. He snapped his fingers again, and an electric blue light creeped up on Dipper, Mabel, Ford, and Stan's chains.

Ford recognized it before it touched his flesh and his eyes widened at the kids; he would rather die than have them go through what he went through in the pyramid, but it looked like Ford was powerless to stop it. "NO! NO, PLEASE!"

Mabel and Dipper screamed and Ford and Stan gritted their teeth to try to keep it at bay. The kids quickly silenced their screams to try to be brave, but nothing could hide the overwhelming pain they were in. Pacifica screamed in misery and McGucket yelled. Robbie was silent with fear, and Gideon could do nothing but look away.

"Okay, okay, enough!" Wendy yelled and the electricity stopped. "We'll… we'll do it."

"No!" Mabel cried.

"It's okay, dudette." Soos said with a shaking voice, but it was still soothing and soft, like a fuzzy blanket on a winter's night. "It'll work out, you'll see."

"Yeah, yeah." Bill said with a roll of his eyes. "Just move it before I give 'em another five-hundred volts."

The daughter of a lumberjack and the newest Mr. Mystery dragged their feet to their placed in the circle, Wendy having one knee up while Soos was cross-legged. Wendy glanced over at Dipper and gave him an apologetic smile. Soos couldn't look at Stan, ashamed of being weak. Stan caught this and muttered, "Hey, Soos, it's okay. Don't even worry about it."

Bill cackled loudly, making the trees shake and the whole woods ring. "Aw man! You should all see your faces!" He laughed and walked between Stan and Soos for the center of the circle. "You humans never made any sense to me; you're really just too stupid and mindless to understand! You throw away your lives for NOTHING!" He laughed, holding his ribs.

"Really, it was kinda cute watching you struggle, but NEVER forget!" Bill's eyes were suddenly red again and the rolling clouds covered the sun in darkness. " **I am Bill Cipher! The Demon of the Nightmare Realm and the Master of the Mind!** " He roared in a deep, heavy voice that trembled the forest. " **If you thought for one moment that it was over, or that you stood a chance against me, you thought WRONG!** "

Bill clapped his hands together, got on one knee, and touched the ground with his palms. Blue flames rose from the dirt and burned the zodiac into the ground, symbols and lines and picture of Bill and all. The ten gasped in horror as Bill stood over the picture of his eye and raised his hands in the air.

"Enim si dlrow siht! Nruter yam I taht os rewop tneicna eht nopu llac I! Emoc sah emit eht L-T-O-L-O-X-A!" Bill's voice echoed. Stan was getting a vague deja vu feeling from when he and the demon were being destroyed in his own mind.

When the last of Bill's syllables rang through the air, the chains disappeared, but everyone, including Gideon, were still forced to lay on their stomachs over their symbols. Struggling to fight it, they all reached for their neighbor's hands and held them. They all began to glow once again, but instead of a soothing light-blue, it was a disturbing dark-red.

"Yes!" Bill cackled as the picture of the triangle's eye began to glow, too. "YES! It's happening!"

Suddenly, a bright beam of light and energy erupted from the eye, hiding Bill and causing him to scream, and making a hole in the clouds. The humans watched with horror as a black hand came out from the beam, followed by golden bricks forming a pyramid.

Bill emerged in the same form he came in when the first rift was broken and he flexed his hands and arms, then cackled as he held his triangle body and kicked his legs. "It worked! It really worked! Good riddance to that hideous meat-sack! Now, let Weirdmageddon II BEGIN!"

The beam disappeared from the zodiac, and right where the beam of light made a break in the clouds, just like last time, a rift in space-time ripped sickenly in the sky.


End file.
